CorporetteMoms

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 97 Comments · by

Maternity Monday: Wrap Dress

Maternity· Recent Recs

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A woman wearing Macy\'s Seraphine Maternity Wrap Dress We’ve featured some of Seraphine’s beautiful maternity dresses before, but I didn’t know that Seraphine is available at Macy’s — that’s new to me! This dress is lovely and it’s $89 with an offer to buy one, get the second 50% off. It’s available in sizes 2-10 and is machine washable. Seraphine’s site has what looks like the same dress in a couple more sizes (2-14) in a lighter, more muted blue, also for $89. Maternity Wrap Dress Here’s a plus-size alternative. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

Comments

  1. Work Clothes for Commuting with Baby in Carrier? says

    I’ve recently come back to work after maternity leave and carry my baby to and from day care in an Ergo. Tips/thoughts on favorite work wardrobe pieces that work with that situation? Baby has now spat up on two suits in a row so I am thinking I need to rebuild my entire wardrobe to only include washable pieces. My office skews towards the business end of business casual. I’m severely fashion-impaired and decision-inhibited so would love any recommendations.

    • HSAL says

      This probably isn’t the most fashionable choice, but can you carry the jacket and just throw a tshirt on over your work shirt for the walk?

    • AwayEmily says

      Yeah, also this stage might pass very quickly (like, in a matter of days or weeks) so it may not be worth rebuilding a whole wardrobe (the baby might stop spitting up, start refusing the Ergo, etc…things change so quickly at this age). I second the suggestion to just get a washable shirt or sweater to wear with your suit bottoms.

    • Clementine says

      This is how I ended up keeping 8 (yes, 8) jackets and ‘nice’ cardigans at my desk and commuting daily in my regular base layer. I added a tissue weight scarf for most days. This came in as a dropcloth/nursing cover/baby sun cover.

      Now baby is older and I often give Baby Clem a snack while we walk… learn from me: cereal bars (think the hippie version of Nutragrain bars) are SO STICKY.

    • TK says

      I wore a large hoodie over all of my suit jackets until I left the kiddo at Daycare. Not fashion forward, but no one at the school cared, and I could ball up the sweatshirt and leave it in the car / bag after drop off and arrive at work as normal.

    • Cornellian says

      I put a burp cloth in front of his face and tuck it under the straps of the ergo. I recommend using a thicker one. I used to wear an extra shirt but that’s not really tenable now that it’s getting warmer.

      • Cornellian says

        I walk kid to daycare and then take the subway, I should mention. An extra shirt is also sort of bulky when you’re also carrying work stuff, laptop, pumping gear, etc.

      • Anon says

        My mother used cloth diapers (the plain white ones that are super thick) as burp clothes for all of us (and later cleaning rags once we weren’t babies). Worked like a charm.

        • Cornellian says

          Yup, that’s what I use! The ones I got as hand me downs seem better than the ones I bought new. I think they’ve made them thinner. The new ones are still better than designated burp cloths.

    • NewMomAnon says

      I switched almost exclusively to cardigans during that phase – if that’s a possibility at your job, consider swapping out your jackets for nice cardigans or ponte blazers that can be machine washed. I kept a blazer at the office just in case. I wore a lot of jacket + top + cardigan outfits, but if I hadn’t been pumping I probably would have gone to exclusively washable dresses in neutral colors.

      FWIW, all my bottoms and jackets/cardigans are solid neutrals in one family of colors; black/gray/navy is my go-to, but brown/olive/cream/tan might be another option. All my colorful tops and accessories are jewel tones; raspberry, teal, dark purple, deep blue, gold. Then it’s just mix and match each morning. If you went with the brown side of the neutrals, you might want earth-tone colors instead of jewel tones; pastels would also work for my neutrals.

    • PregLawyer says

      Washable jersey dresses + blazer. This became my wardrobe when I was pregnant, and has continued for the last 2 years. Scarf can cover any spit-up. Also, as soon as baby has good enough neck strength, face him or her outward on your walks.

    • BabyBoom says

      My work is business casual for the most part, but suits are required when I have to appear at administrative hearings. Daycare drop off always results in something going wrong with my outfit, sticky hand prints, snot, mystery stains, etc. I have adjusted my wardrobe, and like Clementine above I have extensive clothes at work. I only wear suits when absolutely necessary, and on suit days I only wear the pants into work. My non-suit days are typically a fitted ankle pant with a machine washable work appropriate shirt. Once I’m at work, I add a cardi or blazer to my outfit. My suit jackets, other blazers, and cardis now live at work. I also have two neutral shirts that I leave at work. My “at work” clothes usually go to the dry cleaner near work and are picked up during lunch. Maybe I my kids are super messy, or maybe I am doing it wrong – but daycare drop off is hard enough without trying to worry about my clothes!

  2. AnonMom says

    Gift ideas for a 1 year old boy? How much would you spend if you were are not close or family? Thanks!

    • Clementine says

      New Pajamas and a book about whatever is on said pajamas (so, firetruck PJs and a firetruck book, dino PJs and a dino book, farm PJs and a farm book).

      $20 would be what I would spend. At this age, I’d get a board book.

    • HSAL says

      Probably $15-$20. I second the book suggestion – I think this is the perfect time to get a ‘fancy’ board book that seems crazy expensive to buy for a toddler otherwise.

      • hoola hoopa says

        In the same vein, Green Toys dump truck or tractor.

        Stacking cups

    • Jen says

      Puzzle with big knobs (3-5 pieces), little people helicopter/bus/camper/zoo, books, play food, cool placemat, cool shirt, big fat crayons, finger paint, bubbles/bubble machine, bath toys (double as water table toys). Maximum $20 if you’re not family/close. I’d say you could get the little people helicopter for $11 and call it done. Maybe add a book ($5).

      I have 2 kids, the second just turned one. We got him a Rody horse ($45). My favorite gifts in general are consumables (chalk, paint, bubbles, stickers, markers, paper, etc). Fwiw their favorite toy is currently a giant Amazon box. It’s been decorated, played in, eaten in, flipped over and eaten on, stickered, watched TV from, covered in blankets…

    • H says

      I asked for clothes at that age, but if kiddo is getting a lot of hand me downs, he/she may not need clothes. My LO loved shakers at that age (baby maracas are fun). Board books are always a good gift. I think $20 is a good budget for kids gifts.

    • PregLawyer says

      Sticker books, board books (Hop on Pop is always classic), fake lawnmower for new walkers. Stickers are awesome at this age because they are working on finger dexterity, and they are a weirdly expensive consumable, so it makes for a good gift.

    • OCAssociate says

      My standard 1-year old gift is a personalized towel – pottery barn kids ones are soft and durable.

  3. SE DC Anon says

    Baby is about to start crawling! And I think we need to bite the bullet and hire a cleaning service. Any recommendations for DC/NOVA area? What’s a reasonable cost for bi-weekly? I assume it’s not deep cleaning, but it would be mopping floors, vacuuming, toilets, is that about right?

    Thanks!

    • Anon says

      We’re out in the (far) NW suburbs, nearly Loudoun, but we pay $130 for once a month cleaning based on 3 bedrooms (we keep the 4th bedroom closed and just handle it ourselves). I know our housekeeper reduces the per visit price for more frequent cleaning, but not sure by how much. Once baby comes, we will probably increase to 2x/month (and include the 4th bedroom since we are rearranging furniture for the nursery).

    • Penelope says

      Hi neighbor- I just did last month and it is so worth it with the crawling baby! I am paying $150 bi-monthly for three bedrooms (one not used much) and a basement to a sole proprietorship. I provide the cleaning supplies. I used a service once previously and they quoted me at $215 bi-monthly using their own supplies. If our current housecleaner works out, we will probably switch to paying through a payroll service (like you would with a nanny), so that will increase the cost overall.

    • Blueberry says

      We pay $140 weekly for that type of cleaning for a 4 br in (close-in) NoVa. (Only 3 brs are really in use, but it’s pretty messy with 2 little kids!)

    • Anon for this says

      I’m very picky when it comes to cleaners, I want them to do the stuff I don’t have time to do, not just vaccuum and dust. That being said I used maids dot com (not spelled out, the web address) and was VERY happy with it. They do deep in the corners when they do floors, they do the hinges of your toilet lid with a brush, they get BEHIND the toilet, do baseboards, vaccuum stairs, scrub tubs and showers, etc. We’re in FFX if that makes a difference.

      Last time they came they did all three floors of our home (so 3 bdrms, 2.5 baths, basement rec room, laundry room, kitchen, living, dining) and it was steep- about $300. I’ve had them come since to just do bathrooms and kitchens and it was cheaper (cant remember how much), but I HIGHLY recommend

  4. Epic meltdowns says

    My daughter has been throwing major tantrums over the smallest things – she went into a major crying and screaming fit (more than 30 min) when we couldn’t find one of her hair clips this morning. No amount of distraction or reasoning would work with her. I feel like we skipped the Terrible Twos stage, and are now getting it back twofold. Just today she’s had 4 meltdowns just because she couldn’t get what she wanted. Yesterday’s meltdown was because she wanted us to move her car seat from the right to the left side of the car for no reason at all, which I refused to do. I just gave birth 6 weeks ago, so am not sure if this is due to the addition of a new sibling. Any tips/ recommendations on how to handle these epic meltdowns would be appreciated!

    • Maddie Ross says

      Having just been through this, I would say it’s totally part of the new addition. The best I can say is to stay calm and patient in the face of these, and as much as you can focus on her – time with just mom is a bonus. It will pass, but it took about 2 months of meltdowns and acting out before we got back to square with ours. She loved the new addition. But limits were tested and emotions were high.

    • EB0220 says

      I highly recommend How to Talk so Little Kids will Listen….it’s perfect for stuff like this. Just saying “It’s OK to feel sad/mad/etc” works strange but wonderful magic with my two (5 and 2). I also agree that the new baby is a contributing factor. Siblings Without Rivalry is also great, even for new sibling situations. I do think it’s worthwhile to learn how to deal with these meltdowns because they don’t go away completely. This morning, my 5 year old started sobbing at the breakfast table because she broke a bowl that was part of a set of frozen plates TWO YEARS AGO and now she can’t use the entire place setting. Sobbing.

      • Anon says

        +1 to the “Siblings without Rivalry” book. The book was a real eye-opener for me. My sibling is 5 years older and we did NOT get along growing up. The book touched on things that I felt growing up and things my parents did that drove me crazy.

    • RR says

      Threes are the worst. Everyone says “Terrible Twos,” but it’s the 3s! I’m always comforted by remembering that everything is a phase–some phases are good and some are dreadful, but everything is a phase. My youngest went through a few months of this and then improved dramatically. Now, at almost 4, she doesn’t tend to have epic meltdowns anymore. Lots of boundary testing (occasionally, she just decides she is going to burn it down and do all the things she’s not allowed to do at once), but no meltdowns. She taunts us instead, which is as funny as it is terrifying. :)

      • Anon says

        Your post reminded me that daughter #2 would sometimes have tantrums b/c of my inconsistent application of rules. For example, if I allowed them to pick a piece of candy during one of the grocery trips, she got upset if she asked on our current shopping trip but I said no. She couldn’t understand why it was ‘yes’ the other time but ‘no’ on this go-around. I realized very quickly that she was right and that I had to be more consistent AND to explain the rules better. Btw, this all went down around 3 yrs old. I was both proud that at a tender age of 3, daughter #2 was smart enough to recognize I was moving the ‘goal posts” but also sad that I was getting called out by a toddler. lol.

    • Rainbow Hair says

      We have had moderate success with 1, 2, 3 Magic — basically as the way to communicate “yeah, no, when I said you have to get it together, I meant it.”

      • rakma says

        Seconding 1.2.3 Magic, with a side helping of talking about big feelings. Age 3 has been much harder than 2 for us.

        Siblings with out Rivalry also touched on this, which I remember basically boiling down to one-on-one time with older sibling (or better, both parents and older sibling time)

        • rakma says

          Another tactic, specifically for the ones that seem to last forever and have no underlying logic: I’ll just pick up DD and hold her until she can calm down. Once she’s past a certain point of being worked up, she really can’t bring herself back down, so we need to physically calm her down before we can get to the root of things. (last night, she fell into a heap of tears at every point in the bedtime routine, because she didn’t get to pick out PJs because only one set was clean. Being overtired didn’t help. She didn’t fully calm down until she crawled into DH’s lap)

    • Anon says

      I remember when I gave birth to daughter#2, it took daughter#1 some time to adjust and she had more irritable days/moments. Daughter#1 was 3 years old at the time. I agree that what your daughter is experiencing will pass and that it’s most likely stemming from the new baby.

      Something that helped with both my kids when they threw a tantrum is to calmly look them in the eye and say to them “You are very angry. You’re upset about [insert whatever it is that is upsetting them]. I know, you are very frustrated.” When I said those words, I took my time and was serious but quiet. I then waited for their reaction and made sure I was a good listener if they felt like talking more. I would also repeat what they said back, so they would understand that I was actively listening (as opposed to spending that time formulating my response).

      After saying this, the kids would nod in agreement and they were more receptive to what I said afterwards whether that was suggesting something else or just explaining my reasons behind my decision.

      I’d say it worked really well most of the time and heck, it even works now. My kids are 11 and 8 yrs old. Sometimes you just want the world to acknowledge your feelings/perspective/emotions more than wanting the world to agree to your wishes/desires.

      Also, I tried to see if there was a pattern to their tantrums. For example, daughter#2 (at around 3yrs old) always wanted to wear skirts, no matter the weather. Skirts with no sweater, no stockings, no socks. We got into some epic scenes b/c of those skirts. I finally took all her skirts and hid them until the weather got warmer.

    • Epic meltdowns says

      Thanks for the responses, everyone. Will continue to be calm and patient with her and check out the books to have some strategies on dealing with this.

    • Jen says

      Same over here. I had my second when the first was 2.9 and she was great. But when my older one was 3.25, until about 3.5, it was epic meltdowns on the regular. It imwas so completely out of character for her. She’s almost 4 now and still loses it- but she’ll wail “I dont want to cry! But I can’t help it! I don’t knowwwww whyyyyyy I’m crying. (Throws head back dramatically) WAhHHHH!!!!” I hold her, and we take big breaths together and try to find a distraction- look at pictures on my phone, or we go outside, or whatever.

      Part of it is that we think she doesn’t sleep as well with the baby. They’re in separate rooms but the baby cried a LOT- it probably disturbed her sleep more than we ever really noticed. And, she’s growing a TON. I find she is less explosive when I keep her really well fed.

  5. Legally Brunette says

    Although I haven’t tried on this specific dress, Seraphine was my go to for beautiful, flattering maternity dresses for work and my baby shower. Highly recommend. I love this color too.

  6. Cornellian says

    How have you guys dealt with back to work blues? This is my fourth week back. The first two I actually felt fine about leaving my baby at daycare/not seeing him at night. But now I miss him so much it physically hurts. I know I don’t want to quit my job, nor is it a possibility for us, so I’m not sure what to do. Maybe it will get easier as he ages and has a later bedtime so I can see him more?

    • Anon says

      No magic answers but following to see what others say. I’ve been back to work for 10 weeks now and I’m still seriously struggling with this.

    • Em says

      My son spent a lot of time in a carrier when I would get home from work the first few months. He didn’t have a real “bedtime” until like 6 or 7 months, so he would often hang out in there until I went to bed. If you aren’t already you could try a baby carrier after work to get in more physical connection with him, even if he isn’t awake for it.

    • Pigpen's Mama says

      I’m sorry — it’s really hard going back. It sounds like you get home after bedtime or right before, and that’s even harder.

      Honestly, I found that it doesn’t really get ‘easier’ in the sense that you don’t miss your kid(s) as much, but you get used to it and you get back into the groove at work.

      It does get better as they get older as quality over quantity starts making more sense — when they are wee little ones, it’s so time intensive care wise, but now that I/we can go and do something fun with my daughter on the weekends (or the evenings if we’re lucky) that it kind of tides me through the week.

        • layered bob says

          Mondays are the worst.

          To the extent that my schedule allows, I come in to work really late on Monday mornings (10 am vs. 8 am). My department is kind of slow to get started anyway, so no one really notices that I come in late, but that slow morning with the kids really helps us ease into the week and makes me feel like I have things more together.

          • Cornellian says

            Mondays are worse, that’s a good thing to remember. Should try a late start some day. I’ve only billed 3 hours today anyway. pumping and thinking about my kid are taking up way too much of my time.

    • Nanny--husband issues says

      A female partner/mentor of mine gave me the best advice on this I’ve ever gotten: don’t make any decisions for the first six months back at work. Keep your head down, go through the motions, and to the extent possible don’t make any big decisions during the first six months. It’s an adjustment and it takes time. You will likely feel differently about everything once you’ve been back at work for that long. I know exactly what you mean about the physical sensation of missing your baby. For me, it’s always there to some extent but it changes significantly during the course of the first year. With my first, I spent far too much time questioning how I felt and whether this was the right decision for me. In retrospect, everything was in flux and I should have let things settle down a bit. With my second, I had the same feelings of regret/physical longing, but I just waited them out.

      • Anon says

        Yes, this! And I endorse even though I came out on the other side of things and left. I went back in December, and waited out six months on the same advice. I spent those 6 months adjusting and working hard, and by the end of it, I knew my firm wasn’t the right fit anymore. In my case, I was unhappy with the work even before I had my child, so it wasn’t exactly a shocking revelation. But I was able to make the choice much more clear-headed than I would have if I made the choice about one month post-leave. I probably would have stayed home completely, which wasn’t a good choice for me or the family. Instead, I was able to find a job better suited to my needs and interests, and I’m so glad i didn’t leave during that really hard time.

      • Anon says

        Yes, I was given the same advice and it’s sooooo important. No decisions for the first six months. Just focus on getting through each day and doing the best you can at each “job” in your life.

        Another good piece of advice is to make a list of all the reasons you’re back at work. Save it in your phone and look at it often. Some of mine were stupid (like, because I want to remember how to talk to adults) and some were a huge overreach at the time (like, i want to model a strong independent working woman for my son) but different ones resonated with me on different days.

        Also someone here once posted the math. There are 168 hours in a week and if they spend 50 hours at daycare, you’re still with them 70% of the time. Yes, a lot of that is sleeping, but in that first year they’re mostly sleeping at daycare too. (And they’re awake in the night, so it’s not really all sleeping at home.) To put that in perspective, in the 80s most of us were in school for ~35 hours a week and then alone after school for another ~10-15 hours a week. Yes, we were a little older, but it’s not really that crazy to be away from kids for 50 hours.

  7. Betty says

    Our au pair told us last night that she Skyped with a health care provider back home earlier in the day who told her that she has shingles. She has had the rash since Thursday and is not in any pain. Two members of our household have autoimmune disorders but neither is on immune suppresive therapy (just tend to get sick more easily). Am I being unreasonable if I ask her to checked by a physician here?

    • Cornellian says

      I’m not sure if I understand. Do you think it’s something worse than shingles? I would be more worried if skype doctor told her she did NOT have shingles and you thought she did.

      Even if she’s checked by a physician, it sounds like it’s way too late for her to start antivirals.

    • Clementine says

      I would call your family members’ PCP and explain the situation. I’d also encourage her to go to a local walk-in clinic – it might be too late for anti-virals, but it’s worth asking!

    • Pogo says

      I think she should be seen by a doctor for her own sake, as shingles can be very painful.

      A coworker had singles recently and from what I remember from my reading/talking to her, if you’ve already had chickenpox or the vaccine for it, exposure to an individual with shingles would not result in a new infection. If anyone in your household does NOT fit that criteria, I’d be concerned – more so of course if they are immune-compromised.

      • Andrea says

        Yes, this is correct re transmission of shingles. You can’t catch shingles from another person. You can catch chickenpox from exposure to a person with shingles if you’ve never had chickenpox or the chickenpox vaccine. And “exposure” really means direct contact with the open sores, not just being around the person.

      • Anonymous says

        Shingles is rarely painful in young, healthy people. I had it in law school and the main symptom was itching (I actually went to the doc because I thought I had bed bugs and wanted confirmation before I called an exterminator). Doc didn’t give me any medicine and said it’s usually not treated in healthy young adults.
        I don’t have any advice for OP about her family members with autoimmune disorders, and agree she should consult a doctor. But I wouldn’t worry about the au pair if she’s not in pain.

  8. Betty says

    While she is not in pain now, I am concerned about her being in pain down the road. Also, in our area, a rash from brown tail moths is incredibly common. I’d like to know what is going on for my own peace of mind and to be able to prepare for what may lie ahead.

    • Cornellian says

      Fair enough. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask, and offer to pay the copay. But if your real concern is contagion, I think that ship has sailed. For what it’s worth, I’ve had two 20s/early 30s boyfriends get shingles, and one of them was in serious pain for one night before the rash really appeared, and the other one had no pain at all.

    • Clementine says

      FWIW- my husband got shingles when he was 28 and described the pain as feeling like he needed a muscle relaxant because he’d strained his back.

      He was whiny but didn’t miss a single day of school (he was in college) and was back to 100% within like a month. It’s different when healthy young people get it versus the elderly.

    • Pogo says

      I think it really does depend – coworker (mentioned above) is probably about 30 and she was really hit hard by it. She had to have HR give her a special parking spot because walking far to her car was very painful. If your au pair is in that kind of situation, you’d be looking at back-up care for sure I’d think.

  9. SC says

    Has anyone considered not vacationing (ever) with small children? We just returned from a beach vacation with Kiddo, and it was a ton of work, and DH and I were both miserable by the end. Also, we live in a pretty cool, kid-friendly city where we can go to the zoo, aquarium, children’s museum, great parks, etc., and have access to pools 2/3 of the year. What we would do with Kiddo in pretty much any U.S. city just isn’t that different (for him) than our home town. One set of grandparents lives about an hour’s flight away, and we would still visit them regularly.

    Part of me wants to just save the money and either do long weekends with DH with grandparents watching Kiddo, and/or wait until Kiddo is older, doesn’t need a nap, and can appreciate that we are in a cool new place. What age is that?

    • Pogo says

      I think this is why staycations were invented, and I can definitely see the value in staycationing instead of going somewhere with small children.

    • Anon says

      As my husband says, “vacations with kids can be fun, but never relaxing” and I think this is completely true (especially once you have 2 around water), but, we love to travel, and tend to go places were we are meeting friends who no longer live around us, so we keep doing it. We recently got back from a trip and it was the first with kids that I truly enjoyed. I think it was because my expectations were in line that it was going to be fun, but not relaxing. (I didn’t even bring my kindle, expected the kids to be horrible on the plane, etc.).

      That being said, if we had some proper grandparent babysitters, we would totally save all of our travel money for kid free vacations. Since we don’t have any of those, it’s either bring the kids, or don’t go. So we go. I don’t think there is anything wrong with waiting until kiddo is older to travel, that’s what my parents did.

    • Anon says

      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-wiens/with-little-kids-you-take-trips-not-vacations_b_3787677.html

      For us, it was resetting our expectations. We plotted out playplaces or parks every 2 hours along our route and time-budgeted 30 min stops at each one. We only planned 1-2 activities in a day and brought snack food that we could eat in the hotel room or in a random park (call it a picnic!!). We packed alcohol and card games for after the kids fell asleep. We allowed two days of a buffer before going back to work, so we have relaxed time at home to unpack and do laundry and ease back into the real world.

      We waited until my youngest was 1.5, but I have poor-kid syndrome and think vacations are necessary to appreciate what a wonderfully beautiful world we live in, and to learn how to behave when you’re out of the routine of “home.” I think it’s 100% worth the struggles of going on a trip, so I can introduce my kids to new states and national parks and beaches. And there’s something to be said about the bonding (and terrible singing) that happens in a car during Hour 7 of the drive, or in a shared hotel room where you’re giggling with your 2 year old who is up way too late.

      Most people I know, when I ask them their favorite childhood memory, involves some kind of ordinary thing that happened on a vacation. Like the time their car broke down in a different state, or the time they got lost in a cave, or eating in a restaurant in a setting that wasn’t their home (like a beach when they grew up in farmland). I want those memories for my kids. I think there’s no shame in waiting until they’re 6 or 7 to start, but I missed out on so much as a kid, I want to start now.

      • SC says

        Our expectations were definitely low. I knew it wouldn’t be relaxing. But it was soul crushing for a variety of reasons. MIL was terrible, Kiddo wouldn’t sleep, Kiddo only wanted Daddy for everything, and there was so much cooking and cleaning to do. We’ve been back for a week and had a “normal” weekend this weekend–a birthday party, swimming, playing with play-doh, more swimming, lots of time with family. I’m so much happier and more relaxed, and I can’t imagine that Kiddo had less fun.

        I definitely want to do family vacations and take Kiddo all over the place, but I feel like waiting until he’s 5 or 6 might be a good idea for us.

      • Pigpen's Mama says

        I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum, and really push for a trip, even though it’s seems like more work than not! It’s probably because we were always traveling (but not necessarily vacationing) as kids. Also, I only have the one kid, who is fairly easy going (no jinxing!).

        Low expectations are key — we’ve done several trips to see family, and usually incorporate some fun activity in there. A few long weekends, a few 3-4 day trips and one week long international trip. In each case, it’s rare that there’s anything in particular I absolutely want to see — the one exception was getting up to the Grand Canyon when we were in Sedona.

        When we aren’t staying with family, we usually get a place with a kitchenette and a bedroom with a door and do takeout/sandwiches for one meal and often breakfast. We usually plan one activity and then spend the rest of the time at the pool or just wandering around. Tag team child care so we can get workouts in, and some places we stay have an on-site spa, so I book a treatment and let PigPen and her daddy bond.

        That being said, I can totally see why some people don’t do it — it’s not relaxing, it’s just different. I like it because it does force us to spend more than two days together without interruptions from work or household tasks (H has a hard time NOT either working or doing something around the house, so a staycation would be an exercise in frustration).

        And it does sound like this was a disaster because of your MIL, unfortunately. That really sucks and I can see how it would turn you off from the whole idea of a vacation.

      • MSJ says

        +1 with you. it’s not a vacation, but completely worthwhile to us as a bonding experience. but proper expectations are key. I also find it better when we don’t bring additional adults (unless one of us is working for part of the trip) as they are never quite as helpful as expected
        But much of my traveling pre-kids was adventurous/frugal rather than relaxed. So I reframe it as a different sort of adventure travel

        • Lorelai Gilmore says

          I 100% agree about the extra adults. Sounds like a good idea in theory, but never works for us in practice.

    • October says

      Travel with other people (especially if this involves family members who love your kids and don’t yet have kids of their own). And keep it low-key. We’ve been doing a beach vacation with 4+ extra adults since my toddler was born, and so far it’s been pretty relaxing. Sure, you still have childcare duties, but you can take turns watching the kid during the day and for date nights. I managed to read about 5 books in a week at the beach when my son was 12 mo.

      • SC says

        We just traveled to the beach with my MIL. It was the worst. She was the worst. She did very little all weekend besides sit on the porch and read her book. She didn’t want to go to the beach or the pool. She didn’t do anything close to her fair share on planning, driving, grocery shopping, cooking, or cleaning–so basically, I did 80% of the cooking and cleaning for 3 adults and a toddler all weekend. (Kiddo is in a major “daddy” phase and didn’t want me to do anything with him unless Daddy was there too, so DH did 90% of the childcare all weekend.) When we asked MIL to do something like give Kiddo a bath, she would do that one thing, then stop watching him altogether without telling us she was done/we needed to watch him. She also has some alcohol issues, and we were unaware of their extent until this trip. She was sneaking straight vodka from the condo owners’ bar while we were out on the beach with Kiddo, then passing out. So, basically, we’re never traveling with her again, and I’m not sure I feel comfortable leaving Kiddo with her at all. (As far as I know, she does not drink at home because she asked her husband to help her stop drinking. I knew she drank on vacation, but the sneakiness makes me think the problem is much worse than I’d thought and that she might find ways to drink at home.)

        We do visit my parents, who live in a major vacation destination, but we haven’t traveled elsewhere with them yet. We don’t really have any other family members we could or would want to travel with.

        • P says

          This sounds like the WORST and would definitely color my experience of the vacation! I’d say give it a second chance….after you’ve had a chance to recover and the memories have faded….without your mother in law.

          That said, we took a vacation in March that caused a major sleep regression in our two year old. Resulted in me sleeping in her room for all of April and most of May. We are just finishing up three weeks of sleep training to get her to sleep by herself again. So I’m with you reconsidering the whole “vacation” thing.

        • rakma says

          That sounds terrible. No wonder you were miserable. I wonder if the trip would have been better with out MIL? At least then you wouldn’t have had the disappointment of another adult being more work, rather than more help.

          • SC says

            It would have been. MIL’s sister owns the beach condo we were staying in. The aunt lets MIL use it and bring her family (for free) but doesn’t open it up to us without MIL.

            We’ve visited with MIL every year for several years. Before baby and when he was an infant, her not helping didn’t really matter.

            Last year, we went with MIL, her husband, SIL, BIL, and their child (who was 3 at the time). That trip was grueling, but there were a LOT of issues going on with the family (sick person on the trip and one family crisis after another), and we figured it would be easier with just us and MIL this year. Not so much.

            But, yeah, I’m definitely not planning to make this trip again. If we want to go to the beach, we’ll rent a place. And order pizza/takeout every night. (I had takeout planned for 2 nights–MIL agreed to that plan before we left but vetoed it on the drive over. Then got drunk and didn’t help.)

    • Anonymous says

      Yes. Last year, with kids age 1 and 3, we did not take a family vacation with all 4 of us. No regrets on that. This year, at ages 2 and 4, we will be spending a week in the mountains with BOTH sets of grandparents there. For me, it is not worth it at this age to be more ambitious than that.

      Definitely plan to travel more when they are older.

    • Momata says

      I don’t vacation with my kids. We took them to visit their grandparents in Florida but we would never have gone there just on a vacation. It’s disruptive to their schedules, it’s more work than being at home, they don’t remember it, and there are a million other ways to blow their little minds that don’t require air travel or hotels or packnplays. I am hoping next year to take them on our first family vacation – they will be 3 and 4.5. In the meantime, we make sure we do at least one, if not two, big family outings on the weekends while still sticking to the schedules. Zero regrets.

      • SC says

        Yeah, my parents live in Florida. We will keep taking Kiddo there once a year or so, but I don’t consider visiting my parents in basically the place I grew up the same as “vacation.”

    • ElisaR says

      i’m always shocked at how many people travel with small children. it is a major feat for me to get to the grocery store with my 14 month old, i cannot even fathom attempting to fly somewhere. we are driving 2 hours to a beach rental house for a week this summer with my husband’s family but i don’t have high hopes…..

      i am also surprised at the whole assumption that people HAVE to take a vacation each year–or that they would think its a big deal to forego it. pretty sure i never went anywhere until i was 8 years old. then after that trip we never went anywhere again until i was 14.

      long story short: not traveling with little ones, it’s too much of a headache.

    • rakma says

      Yup. “Vacations” right now include grandparents, have things that are exciting for the kids within toddler walking distance (lake! pool! playground! a play kitchen outside!) and are in kid-friendly if not kid-proof accommodations.

      Eventually we will take them to national parks and interesting historical sites and other countries. But I’d like to enjoy myself on those trips, and I’d like them to remember said trips, so we stick with simpler trips for now.

    • Walnut says

      Money was tight when I was growing up and all of our vacations were daytrips or one night overnight. We lived about five hours from a particular tourist destination, so we probably went there three or four times from the time I was 8 to 16. The year I turned 16 we went on our first big out of state roadtrip. I don’t feel I was particularly deprived having never been to a big city or to a national park until age 16. It certainly didn’t stop my desire to want to travel or move away from home after graduation.

    • Lorelai Gilmore says

      This all sounds terrible and I don’t blame you for swearing off travel forever.

      But I think it’s mostly MIL’s fault, not about traveling with kids. And I also think that staying at beach houses or condos can be an enormous amount of work. Some of our worst vacations have been the “rent a big beach house with the whole family” vacations, which is ironic since I loved those as a child. And finally: 1.5 is the worst age for traveling, I think.

      We’ve had wonderful vacations with just our own little nuclear family. When it’s just you, then you’re not feeling disappointed when MIL or FIL fail to step up and help with childcare and for some reason, that makes it much easier. You can also hire a babysitter which is a godsend for a night out. It’s helpful to try to find a place where you aren’t responsible for cooking and cleaning (i.e., not a beach house), and where there’s a little outdoor space for the kids to freely roam. I encourage you to try again – but to get rid of the MIL and the beach house and go for something easier that truly feels like a vacation!

  10. Shop for Me, Please - Pajamas says

    I would like pajamas. Requirements are simple, soft, not uncomfortable if the neighbors see me wander outside in said PJs, and no buttons. Nothing too tight, nothing too big. Does this exist? I am sick of being a workout clothes sleeper.

  11. Pogo says

    I feel stupid asking this but… How do you fold onesies?

    When I google I am inundated by mommy blogs full of what appear to be rolled-up onesies in divided drawers. Is rolling the best storage method? What purpose do the twee dividers serve, other than being twee?

    • Anonymous says

      I actually do roll, because I think it’s as easy as (maybe easier than) folding and I can see what they are better than when they’re folded since they don’t cover each other up.

      I use the dividers to divide by sleeve length and onesies vs. t-shirts.

      I loosely followed this blog for organization, and it’s worked really well for us: http://www.twotwentyone.net/nursery-dresser-organization/

      • Pogo says

        Do you think they take up less space rolled vs folded in half? That’s what I can’t quite figure out. They’re so tiny it’s hard for me to tell which way is better, and while all the blogs have them rolled I wasn’t sure if that was aesthetics or space-saving.

    • OCAssociate says

      To be honest, I never folded onesies. But I don’t even fold my 2- or 5- years olds’ clothes. They go straight into drawers, if they ever make it out of the clean clothes basket.

      • NewMomAnon says

        I spent twenty minutes folding kiddo’s laundry the other night only to have her grab the stacks and aggressively shove them into her drawers with no care whatsoever for my folding….next time I’m just going to give her the laundry basket of clean clothes and let her sort into drawers.

    • SC says

      I’ve always just folded them in half. If they have sleeves I fold the sleeves back like you would on a shirt. If they’re long, I might fold it in half again. This is the first time I’ve heard of a “system” for onesies–but I’m not changing mine. I think this is a good place not to overthink it.

      • hoola hoopa says

        +1

        I fold up the tails, so it looks like a shirt, then fold just like the shirts. I do it so that they are the same size in the drawer as the shirts.

    • Blueberry says

      I don’t think I ever did. I just kept them in baskets in the changing table shelves (didn’t use a dresser until kids were bigger and had more and bigger clothes) — different baskets for short vs. long sleeves, etc.

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