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In the past few months, I’ve been seeing Living Proof on sale, and I finally bit the bullet on trying a few when there was a promotion where you spend a certain amount and get a free full-size product. To get to that amount, I bought this spray and have been using it after the shower ever since.
It’s a little hard to describe exactly what it is — it’s like a hybrid detangler, lightweight leave-in conditioner, and heat protectant. It makes it super easy to brush my hair when it’s wet, and I notice a lot less frizz and more shine whether I heat dry/style or even when I air dry. It has lasted a long time so far and I’ll definitely repurchase when empty.
The spray is $29 at livingproof.com. Perfecting Spray
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anniversary Gift Ideas? says
Hi All! Any ideas for an anniversary gift for my husband? Our 15th is later this month. Pre-Covid (and fires), we were going to be thousands of miles away in Napa celebrating. But now we’ll be home, business as usual. I’d really like to get him a special, above-average gift. But I am coming up way short on ideas. Any suggestions? Thank you!
Anonymous says
Wine club membership to a Napa winery?
AnonATL says
On this theme, could you order some bottles from the vineyards you were planning to visit and do a tasting at home or maybe as part of a picnic?
We were in Napa two years ago and did the wine train, and all the vineyards had great shipping policies though some might have case minimums. Depends on the vineyard.
Clementine says
Things my husband would really like (based on me shouting across the table at him just now):
– A Bose stereo/speaker system (I’ve already bought him the fancy noise cancelling headphones or I would say those)
– A smoker (he insists he would like this however I absolutely don’t see him using a smoker for anything more than grilling and maaaaybe smoking salmon on occasion)
– A leather armchair
– Husband just suggested a subscription to Bespoke Post (aka FitFabFun type box for men)
– Husband also thinks that his and hers monogrammed bathrobes are always a fun gift. Think, like those waffle weave robes you get at a nice hotel.
TheElms says
Sonos system for the house? Since we are all spending so much more time at home these days.
Anon says
Can you reschedule the trip for your 16th? (Or 17th if necessary anniversary). I’m not a “stuff” person, so there’s nothing that I would really want except to turn one of the next two anniversaries into the big milestone anniversary and take the trip. Our 10 year is next year and if it’s still not safe to travel then, we will just make a huge deal out of the 11th.
AwayEmily says
+1. My 40th was in June and I was very explicit that I did not want a gift, because what I really want is an experience that’s impossible right now (long weekend in a cabin on a lake with our best friends), so rather than get a “thing” I don’t really want, I’d prefer to just celebrate post-pandemic.
Anonymous says
Same. If you can get childcare, I would do a little stay-cation. Spend a night in a hotel or B&B nearby, have a nice dinner, and enjoy being a couple instead of parents.
Mrs. Jones says
Big Green Egg?
Anon says
a virtual wine tasting with napa wines. a lot of places are doing stuff like this now. though like others, id probably rather reschedule
OP says
Thanks, everyone! We are definitely going to reschedule, but in the meantime I want to mark the occasion more than typical. A smoker is a great idea – DH has mentioned we should get one recently. And (if we’re being honest), we’re probably better off if I pick it out.
Katarina says
You might want to pick this out together, but artwork or a piece of furniture. Artwork is especially nice because it will last, and is more of a daily reminder, compared to a more practical piece of furniture.
Anonymous says
Not the OP, but my anniversary is coming up soon and, this is a really nice idea, thank you!
Sock recommends? says
Best baby socks for chubby ankles? It seems like the only socks I have left from my first kid are super tight around second baby’s ankles. Grippy bottoms would be nice, and bonus for cute patterns (I am a sucker for animal faces on baby feet).
Anonymous says
I thoughts Carters socks were generally pretty wide (or, we got them as hand me downs so maybe just stretched out).
GCA says
Old Navy socks – the kind with a foldover top. Not too tight on baby ankles, but they stay up.
EP-er says
Hello — Does anyone have any experience with surgery for strabismus (lazy eye?) Great start to the virtual school year — my daughter’s one eye started turning inward and she is seeing double. Trips to ophthalmologist, then pediatric specialist last week have corrections in place for the double vision. Hopefully it corrects itself, but if we are in this same spot in 6-12 months, surgery is a possibility. Trying not to get ahead of myself, but am concerned.
We also have to have an MRI…she is almost 9. Thoughts on general anesthesia vs sedation?
So over 2020…..
Anonymous says
Nope sorry! Your daughter has a common condition that is nearly always resolved without surgery. 12 months out is way way way too soon to be asking the Internet about sedation options, which is a conversation to have with you doctor. One. Step. At. A. Time. 2020 is awful and you are a great mom and you have got this covered.
Anonymous says
Agree, I know a few people who had a lazy eye and all resolved without surgery.
OP, Are you asking about general anesthesia vs sedation for the MRI, or for surgery? Because MRI should not need any sedation. My 5 year old has had a couple MRIs. She was wide awake watching a movie on a mirror the whole time and did great. They had a separate room with a mock MRI machine where they “practiced” first to get her comfortable and explain the noises she would hear, etc etc, let her pick from a selection of movies, and the whole thing was very positive and non-stressful.
EP-er says
Just for clarification — The MRI needs to happen in the next few weeks. I had no idea that general anesthesia was even an option for an MRI! And I am relieved that this suggestion by the doctor is an overreaction and that others have successfully managed the MRI with just videos.
And I appreciate the reminder for one step at a time.
Mary Moo Cow says
I had this when I was a kid! The thing I remember most was having to do eye exercises for weeks after the surgery- wear an eye patch and read flash cards to train my eye. The eye patch was a literal pain; the gauze and ointment were uncomfortable and the stitches hurt for a few days. But my mom tried to make it cool, like a pirate patch and kids were curious not mean about it. It really wasn’t a big deal. was 5 tho, so take it with a grain of salt!
avocado says
My daughter had an MRI at around that age and there was not even a suggestion of sedation. Make sure you and the tech do a good job of explaining what to expect (noise, etc.) and remain calm, and she should do just fine. For most kids that age, I’d guess that sedation would be more traumatic than the MRI itself.
Marilla says
My husband and BIL both had this surgery as kids – as far as I know it all went very smoothly and now they have no concerns. My son (now 2) is being monitored by an opthalmologist for strabismus as well… we see it in both eyes, but more in one than the other. So far the opthalmologist hasn’t recommended any interventions or treatments, but we’re checking in with her regularly. Surgery may need to happen in the future – I don’t love the idea, but after being through ear tubes for both kids and two tear duct surgeries for my daughter, I’ve chilled out a lot more about these scary but fairly “normal” or routine surgeries for kids. One tip that I would give about any medical procedure with kids is to talk ahead of time about the whole process including any time where your kid has to be separated from you (for example, we’re not allowed in the OR so we have to hand over a kid to a nurse or the doctor and then wait until they’re brought to recovery). Mine are both much younger so it’s a different conversation, but I think it’s worth prepping. For an 8 year old I wonder if it would be helpful to watch YouTube videos about what an MRI is like? And maybe practice techniques like box breathing to help stay calm.
Good luck!!
Anon says
As a counterpoint to the surgery is no big deal argument, my mom had the surgery as a kid and they over-corrected it. For some reason, surgery to correct the over-correction was not an option. Her eye drifts outward and so she can’t make and maintain direct eye contact, which she feels has been a social and professional hindrance. Surgery is not something I’d do for this except as a last resort, and certainly not without seeking multiple opinions. It is never life-threatening (beyond the extremely tiny general anesthesia risks) but was life-changing in a negative way in my mom’s case. But I understand that it resolves without surgery in most cases.
Marilla says
This is really good to know – thanks. OP, definitely something to ask your surgeon about! I’ll be keeping it in mind for discussion with our opthalmologist as well. Also a good reason to make sure you’re going with someone who’s done a million of these surgeries at a well-regarded hospital (at the time my MIL took her kids to the top pediatric hospital in our big city).
Anon says
Your mom’s case is the exception, not the rule, and the social shame kids with untreated strabismus endure is unreal. I’d 100% treat with surgery if recommended by the physician.
Anon says
For sure, it’s not a common complication, but it does happen. My mom was treated in the 1960s and I’m sure surgical techniques have improved, but we saw a pediatric ophthalmologist for suspected strabismus when my daughter was an infant, and the doctor said it’s still a potential risk of surgery today (although I think today having a second surgery to correct the over-correction is more common). My point was not that you should ignore a doctor recommending surgery, but just that surgery is not risk-free and is not something I’d jump to without exhausting non-surgical solutions. I know MANY kids who’ve been successfully treated with eye patches, glasses, eye exercises, and I don’t think any of them really endured “social shame” so that wouldn’t be a big worry for me, at least in the abstract.
Anon says
Both my brother and my daughter had this corrected by surgery. My brother had it as an infant in the 1960s. My daughter’s was not diagnosed until age 20 (apparently she was self-correcting) and hers was also successfully resolved by surgery. She was uncomfortable for a day or 2 after surgery but in the scheme of surgeries, it was quick and minor. Get a referral for a surgeon who specializes in this.
EP-er says
Thanks for the stories, guys! I know I am getting ahead of myself by thinking of surgery, but your stories of resolution without surgery are so helpful — I really appreciate this community, always.
Anon says
I think my other comment disappeared somehow, but long story short, don’t leave it untreated (which I know you’re not!) and make sure you’re talking to a real pediatric strabismus specialist. I can provide recs if you need them and if you live in the Boston area or the Bay Area.
EP-er says
Thanks! We went to our regular pediatric ophthalmologist, who (immediately) referred us to a pediatric strabismus specialist. And the specialist is ordering the MRI, since this is a very severe, acute on-set case. We’re not on the east coast, but I always love how happy everyone is on these boards to make recommendations!
Anon says
I think there is a huge range from no sedation to general anesthesia for an MRI. Since your 9 year old obviously doesn’t have to drive, could they give her an anti-anxiety medication for the procedure but not knock her out?
For actual surgery, for myself at least, I prefer the propofol sedation (which I think is considered general anesthesia now) but does not require intubation.
Anon says
+1 or something like benadryl that would make her drowsy but not knocked out?
Anon says
I had strabismus and would definitely recommend getting the surgery (IF recommended for your circumstance) earlier than later. The rude questions, comments, and social shame I faced as a middle schooler killed my self-esteem for a long time. Also, you need to need an ophthalmologist who specializes in strabismus – it’s a small field and the expertise is really essential because it can be quite tricky to resolve.
EP-er says
I’m so sorry to hear about your experience. The specialist is checking for a few underlying causes, but said that it needs to be stable for at least 6 months before doing the surgery. So we are monitoring for now. I am glad we live in an area where we have access to these kinds of sub-specialists!
The straw that broke this camel's back says
I need to vent. My DD has been doing virtual kindergarten for the first four weeks of school. She had a veteran teacher whom she loved – the one bright spot of this whole situation. They’re returning to alternating in person schedules as of today and she’s sooo excited to be on campus (it’s a private school). We got an email yesterday that her teacher has decided not to teach in person and they will be hiring someone new in the next four weeks. And had to explain this to DD last night. I get why her teacher made the decision but giving us less than 24 hours notice was rough. And kids are resilient, but it makes me so nervous they don’t have a teacher! Pretty sure most have been snapped up by turnover at schools already, and it’s not like they can bring an older teacher out of retirement right now!
For the first time this pandemic, I cried when I saw that email. I’m so tired of bad news and of having to disappoint my five year old, who has the best attitude and just wants to be excited for school.
Last night was the first time she’s told me she’s “scared of the virus.”
Definitely outed myself if I have friends who read this, but this sucks.
Anonymous says
All the hugs.
When my kids say they are scared of covid, I remind them that it’s not a big problem if you get covid – it’s kind of like a really really bad cold, but because people catch it very easily when have to be extra careful so that everyone doesn’t get sick at the same time because if everyone gets it at the same time then there are too many sick people for the doctors and hospitals. Emphasizing why it is important that we try to avoid getting it, while at the same time knowing that it’s survivable if they do, seems to have eased their minds while still keeping them alert to practices like good mask skills and handwashing.
OP says
Yeah I told her we take it seriously but she doesn’t need to be scared. One of her friends had it and also her nanny and both were asymptomatic, so I think it’s just the communications from school that have thrown her off. I think that part of the talk went okay. Explaining why the school did a bait and switch and the woman who keeps saying she’s their teacher isn’t going to be was harder…
Anon says
I’d be annoyed at the school. I feel like they should find her a teacher ASAP even if it means that another class gets less in-person school in the short run because they have to share their teacher.
Anon says
I’m so sorry. I would be so mad and sad on behalf of my kid.
Re: scared of the virus, I tell my preschooler that the virus is not dangerous to her but we wear masks to protect more vulnerable people and to keep us all healthy. I don’t want her to have anxiety about her grandparents so I’m vague about who is vulnerable, but I’m clear it’s not her.
anon says
Oh, I am so sorry. I have a kindergartener this year, too, and this would break my heart (and make me very nervous)!
Anon says
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Could you explain it to her from the perspective of the teacher maybe? My mom is a preschool teacher and had to retire because of the pandemic. My dad has COPD and is extremely high risk. My mom has knee problems and couldn’t possibly do all of the cleaning they were asking them to do multiple times per day. Lots of teachers are older and once they learn what is actually expected of them, realize they can’t do it. I wouldn’t be mad at her teacher. I’m sure it was a very hard decision for her to make. My mom feels so bad for the kids and parents she let down but she just can’t physically do the job with those policies. Our state wanted her scrubbing toilets after each kid used it while still watching the rest of the kiddos and not letting them share toys, and scrubbing the floor under kids that sneezed and all sorts of stuff that is good for public health but impossible for teachers to implement.
Anon says
Did she quit with 24 hours notice after teaching her kids virtually for a month and saying she would see them in person soon? I don’t think not wanting to return to school is unreasonable, but I definitely think what this teacher did was unreasonable.
avocado says
If this is truly what happened, I’d cut the teacher some slack. She may have been holding onto the assumption that the school would abandon the plan to go in-person at the last minute, which would be a pretty reasonable assumption to make. I also wouldn’t be surprised if she gave notice earlier but was told not to share until the last minute, to avoid complaints and requests to switch classes.
Also, with all kindness, a sudden change of teacher is not really as big a deal as it seems. At the beginning of kindergarten it sounds like a huge betrayal, but in hindsight you’ll realize that it was just a blip. Within a few days, your daughter will adapt to her new teacher and will largely forget about the original one, especially if the transition to the new teacher happens at the same time as the transition to in-person instruction. Your daughter will experience more than one midyear teacher transition in the course of her educational career–people get sick, go on maternity leave, and change jobs.
Anon says
I’m not OP, just to be clear.
I agree a change of teacher isn’t that big a deal for the reasons you state but it sounds like the school may not be able to hire another teacher, certainly not right away. OP said they’re taking 4 weeks to hire someone and I wouldn’t even assume that timeline is guaranteed, given that school has already started in most places and there isn’t exactly a surplus of unemployed qualified teachers right now. I think she is grieving the fact that her kid can’t have school in person, not the change in teacher, and I understand and sympathize with that.
Anonanonanon says
To the second paragraph, I agree. As one of the ones on this board with an older kid, this happens fairly frequently in elementary school. Kids take their cues from us, don’t make it a big deal and that will cut down on the chance it is one. There are going to be a lot of bumps in the road this year, and possibly next, for our kids in terms of school and childcare. Teaching them resilience now and how to acknowledge– but not dwell on– disappointment is going to be critical.
OP says
to be clear wasn’t really blaming the teacher – i’m blaming the school. But yeah, she’s been their teacher for four weeks saying she’d see them in school and now with 24 hours notice she won’t be there soooo. I’m not super happy with her. They have a sub. It’s really bad. The kids had a sharing circle this morning and they went around and instead of kids saying they were excited for school all of them said “sad” or “scared” – I’m sure they’ll bounce back but that’s not how I saw kindergarten going and that’s not what a sharing circle in the other two kindergarten classes sounds like right now.
DD comforted on the coronavirus point. Has a lot of questions about when they’re going to find “a new young teacher for us?”
Anon says
that is absurd on behalf of your mom. you can’t get young kids not to share toys. a preschool teacher should not be cleaning the bathroom after each kid uses it, while simultaneously watching the students. that is impossible
Anon says
EXACTLY. Whoever wrote the regs clearly has never worked with little kids. It is very possible the rules changed with enough push back but she didn’t want to wait until the last minute to quit/retire (like OP’s teacher did apparently) so she threw in the towel mid-summer.
Everyone was telling her to ignore the rules and just do what she could do but she justifiably didn’t want anyone to get sick, there to be an investigation and her get in trouble for not having scrubbed the toilet or something. She’s a rule follower.
Toddler Toilet Tales says
I’m having an issue with my four year old. she’s been day-time potty trained for about two years. But she has never been dry at night. ever. and now i think she is stockpiling her pee during the day to load up her pull-up at night. and to top it off, she has something going on now where i make her pee during the day and then five minutes later she shouts “I have to go again” and often dribbles in her underwear. then she will run to the toilet and literally two drops come out.
has anyone experienced this? is it related?
she’s been tested for UTI – nothing. And her pediatrician just shrugged and said “she’s fine. she’ll outgrow it.”
Anonymous says
Night training is different than day training, and your pediatrician is probably right. Both my 4 and 5 year old still need to wear pull ups at night. We test every month or two for a few days to make sure they’re not just peeing in pull ups at night because they’re lazy (there is some of that), but they legit are very sound sleepers and will wet the bed almost every night, even if we cut off liquids before bedtime, even if they pee right before bed, even if we do a dream pee around 10-11.
Anonymous says
I think these phases come and go. If she doesn’t have a UTI, I’d wait 2-3 weeks to see if it is still an issue and re-evalutate.
Anonymous says
Re: nights – she’s probably not ready. At 4 I was despairing kiddo would ever be dry at night; at 4.5 he started waking up to pee. Normal to take a few more years even.
Re: dribbling – any possibility of constipation? Even if kiddo is pooping daily can still be backlog of stool that can create a variety of urinary issues. May be worth seriously upping fruit/liquids for a week or two and see if that helps. Helped us basically immediately.
Anonymous says
Somewhat frivolous question, but I have a mom and MIL who get all of the their holdiay shopping done by Halloween (i know, i know)- — my LO one will be just about 19 months at Xmas, and each grandma wants to know what we’re doing for a “big gift” for LO this year (LO is the only grandchild on either side). Is a play kitchen a developmentally appropriate, or would that be better for a birthday gift at 2 (which happens at the beginning of June)? My other thoughts were a busy board, and/or one of those PB kids/Crate and Barrel land of nod stuffed arm chairs, however, any thoughts are greatly appreciated!!!
Mrs. Jones says
Play kitchen or stuffed arm chair sounds good to me. Our arm chair is still in use at age 9, and not just by our son.
Spirograph says
If you want a busy board, I’d do that now — your child will outgrow it much more quickly than either the armchair or play kitchen. My 7 year old still uses our play kitchen!
I will say, though… big gifts are for the gift-giver, not the kid. For a 19 month old, the wrapping paper is going to be the most fun thing about Christmas, and a $1 ball from the grocery store would probably be just as exciting, if not more, than anything you suggested. :)
Anon says
Play kitchen is good around that age and will last for a while. Other things to consider are a kitchen learning tower or some sort of outside play equipment, depending on your living situation. My kids adored their Little Tykes slide at that age, and we got a lot of indoor use of it during the winter when it was too cold to play outside.
Anonymous says
Play kitchen for 2nd birthday. For Christmas do some kind of indoor slide and/or outdoor toboggan if you are in a snowy area.
Anon says
My daughter got a play kitchen for Hanukkah at 22 months. She was definitely more excited about the big sheet we used to cover it up. She’s 2.5 now and it’s only in the last couple of months that she really plays with it as intended, ‘cooking’ and serving us meals, etc. So I’d say that could be a 2nd birthday gift or even a gift next Xmas. 19 month olds are generally still pretty hard on their stuff, and a play kitchen should last you into early elementary school so I think there’s some downside to giving it too early.
Anonymous says
Counterpoint – ours was VERY INTO the play kitchen he got for Xmas at 17 months and played with it nonstop all winter. It was soooo useful this winter and during early covid shut down when we couldn’t yet spend as much time outside because of the weather. Unless you live in the south or elsewhere with good winter weather, I’d definitely prioritize play kitchen over outside toys for Xmas. Big brother is 5 and also loves the play kitchen.
Clementine says
Around 18 months, all our kids have really enjoyed a tricycle with a handle that a parent can push + a bike helmet (highly suggest a Nutcase).
Another gift for a 2 year old: Strider 12 inch balance bike. I think our oldest kid got one at age 1 but preferred the tricycle from age 1-2, then the balance bike starting around 2 or so.
Anon says
Oops are you supposed to use a helmet with those push tricycles? That didn’t even occur to me…
avocado says
We started out requiring a helmet on the push tricycle mainly to get kiddo in the habit of wearing a helmet. By the time she got a bike, roller skates, scooter, etc., wearing a helmet was automatic.
anon says
Most people I see with the push tricycles don’t wear helmets and I think falling off that at walking speed isn’t really going to be any worse than falling down while running, but our family’s rule was that you wear a helmet on anything with wheels from the beginning. This means that my kids started wearing helmets while waddling on balance bikes (aka not at all dangerous) but now don’t question having to wear them while zipping down hills on scooters (where a helmet is actually super important for when they fall).
Clementine says
Um, my kids should honestly probably be wearing helmets 24/7 based on their idea of ‘fun’.
In general, it’s probably not necessary but we make it a part of ‘biking’. That way, once they get up enough speed to actually hurt themselves (sooner than you’d think with my kids!), it’s a habit.
Anon says
We just got the play kitchen at 3, which is when kiddo has really started to get into the imaginative play. My kid is an anomaly though – I think most kids would enjoy it earlier. For early “big” gifts at the younger ages, we received the radio flyer push tricycle with 5 point harness at 1 that converts into a real tricycle (designed for ages 1-5), brio train track sets (so not cheap and yet so lovely), little people galore plus the princess castle, bitty baby.
Anon says
my twins got a play kitchen for their first bday (well really at 15 months) and it has been our most used gift to date. i would definitely recommend getting one for x mas. my kids also have the pb kids chairs and they like those as well. we have the medium size, wish i had the largest size. other ideas are the Nugget or a Pikler triangle (we don’t have either, but playgrounds are still closed where we live and my kids are dying to climb), or something we do have that is not expensive, is a fisher price slide. really wish we’d purchased that sooner.
Anon says
I would try to borrow a Pikler triangle before investing in one, although that might be challenging in Covid times. I bought one during lockdown because my kid was also desperate to climb and I think she used it exactly twice. It was $300 and I really regret it. I’ve heard similar stories from friends. I think a lot of kids just aren’t into this toy for whatever reason. A play kitchen definitely feels more universal to me.
anon says
+1 Pikler triangles look so great but seem to be hit or miss, even for really climby kids.
TheElms says
I have a 16 month old. Play kitchen and kitchen learning tower are already big hits, so I would recommend those for Christmas for sure. Our daughter doesn’t use the kitchen for imaginative play yet but she likes taking things in and out of the fridge / oven. The kitchen has a light that turns on for water in the sink and lights on the stove with buttons that she can push and she likes all those features. For our big Christmas gifts we are thinking about a wobble board, and a scooter (I’ve been told that scooters are easier than balance bikes, but who knows), Magnatiles (not big but more expensive), and a nice set of wooden blocks.
potato says
How about a sensory table? By the time summer rolls around LO will be old enough to really enjoy it. Obviously, you’ll just be storing it for a few months. Also magnatiles are awesome!
EB says
My husband and I took a hard look at our creeping monthly credit card bill and other expenses this weekend and realized we are spending WAY too much on silly, impulse purchases. Part of the problem is that we moved to a bigger house in March and the expenses are just on another level (suddenly we have a sprinkler system and a dishwasher and a bigger yard and a bigger house than needs so much more furniture than we had). And then each month, there has just been some big expense that puts it over the edge (i.e. ear tubes for 1 year old) and we are eating away at our savings. So we are implementing some changes, including: reducing our grocery bill (we are the worst about buying precut fruit and expensive meat for each day and so we’re going to have a couple of meatless nights and cut our fruit ourself), immediately nixing the discretionary amazon, target, and lunch purchases, and putting a budget on “fun” purchases. The good news is we don’t have credit card debt, so if we can just spend less money, we can get back on track pretty quickly.
But..my question – what was the single best thing you have done to spend less money? Would love to hear all your tips.
Anon says
A global pandemic that forced us to stop traveling. Covid has been amazing for our wallets but it comes at the expense of vacations and seeing all our loved ones :(
Voluntarily? We drive our cars into the ground. My husbands Toyota is 25 years old and mine is 15, and we have no plans to replace them. I know a lot of people that get new cars every 5-10 years and thats a big budget expense we don’t have.
Anonymous says
Yeah, the pandemic has been pretty good for us to as it relates to spending. More specifically: very rare eating out, no trips into Target/Walmart/etc. (all online delivery or contactless pick-up orders), no trips to the mall or other stores just for fun, only one overnight away for travel in over six months. I’ll admit we’re being a bit more lenient with toys/fun items for kiddo and new clothes for kiddo. And we’re working on some house projects. But the day to day and impulse spending is way lower.
AwayEmily says
I instituted a “no-Amazon rule” at the beginning of the pandemic. It was largely for ethical reasons but has had the excellent side effect of reducing our spending overall. Sounds like you are doing that anyway. We also don’t buy any toys for the kids — all their toys are from Christmas and birthdays, and I will sometimes solicit hand-me-downs from friends with older kids.
Anon says
+1 We made an exception while daycare was closed, but we generally don’t buy toys either. Everything is holiday gifts, mostly from other people.
Anonymous says
We don’t do Amazon either. I can’t think of anything I’ve needed that I couldn’t find somewhere else. Having to spend 15 minutes googling where else to get something also slows down the click to buy process that is the worst for impulse buying.
Marilla says
The pandemic made our discretionary Amazon/other toy and book store purchases shoot way, way up. We justified it because we weren’t paying for childcare, but now childcare is back so we need to remember that actually there is no extra money anymore. I also got offered a Prime free trial over the summer which makes it way too easy to spend the money out of convenience. My new trick is to put something in my cart and not check out. Come back to it in a day or two and see if you still feel the impulse or if you’ve realized you don’t really need it. (Or if you want to be hardcore, delete the app from your phone!)
AnotherAnon says
The single best thing I have done was to remove my credit card autofill information from every retail site I frequent: Target, Gap, Anthro, etc.
Anonymous says
OH THIS IS GOOD!
Anonymous says
Yes! Similarly, I do not have my CC number memorized anymore. I’ve been very intentional about NOT memorizing it, and the extra step of needing to find my wallet stops me from tons of impulse purchases.
Anonanonanon says
This had saved me, but then I started checking out with Paypal everywhere and now it’s saved there. Sigh.
AnotherAnon says
Haha, yes this is where I have landed as well. LMK if you find a solution to this!
Anonymous says
Delete it from your Paypal.
anon says
This is very smart. I should do the same.
anon says
If your budget is close enough that you’re worried about buying cut fruit, you really should go and look for any reoccurring payments that could be reduced. Cable? Subscriptions? Cell phone plan? Better car insurance rate? Cutting monthly expenses could get you some more breathing room.
Cb says
Yes, every January, my husband resolves to save £100 on our monthly expenses, and calls the internet company, cancels any random direct debits, subscriptions, etc. He’s managed it a few years running but you have to stay on top of it, as you have to get those introductory offers.
EB says
Well, that was a silly example and I realize it won’t make or break. I was just trying to explain that we are pretty frivolous with our spending. All that little stuff you pick up around the grocery store adds up. I bet we could get our weekly grocery bill down $30/week at least by being more mindful about what we buy. But point taken that reoccurring payments are a good thing to look at, and I appreciate the suggestions!
Anonymous says
The pandemic has helped us be much more intentional about grocery purchases. Once per week grocery order/pick up is what we aim for. Now that things are a little less strict in my area, we’ll pop in here and there for something we missed or some extra produce or something. But planning meals for the week, ordering once, and then making sure we eat that stuff (instead of an impulse lunch out on a busy day, which is nonexistent now that we’re both working from home), is huge. If you want some input on meal planning specifically, let me know. But I know that was just an example.
Anon says
I have found that when we need to dial it back online grocery shopping + delivery, even with fees, ends up saving me big money. No opportunity for impulse or unsure (“I can’t remember if I have any ground beef in the fridge… so I’ll buy two.”) purchasing. Everything is bought with a purpose or recipe in mind.
Anonanonanon says
We had to switch from reasonably-priced in-home daycare to Nanny for a variety of reasons, so our childcare increased by >$20K so we’re definitely in cutback mode. We are fortunate that we did not upgrade our house before this so were living below our means in that respect.
So far: No more clothes purchases. Even for the kids. My son is in online school, 5 shirts and two pairs of jeans he has that fit are fine. He has sweatshirts and regular shorts etc. from summer, worst-case scenario. My daughter is home all day every day and I LOVED buying her outfits when she was in daycare, but daycare had an amazing talent for keeping her clothes clean that Nannies don’t seem to have. So, she’s in cheaper play dresses and will continue to be. They need fewer pairs of shoes now, too.
Cheaper groceries. This was happening for convenience sake anyway, but we are eating fewer organic options, etc. Also, I started using grocery delivery from the store everyone loves to hate that starts with a W and rhymes with TallFart, and it is truly cheaper.
No ordering food out, my husband takes dinner leftovers for lunch. I think he still gets breakfast on his way into work, though.
There is still some discretionary amazon etc. spending, but I try to leave things in my cart for a couple of days and then re-evaluate. That cuts down on a lot of things.
Before all of this started, we were actually looking at moving to NYC and my husband was in the final stages of a job interview there. I’m taking this as an opportunity to evaluate if we can be happy living with a tighter budget (this addition of a nanny will be about equal to what our rent increase in NY would have been) with fewer things. NYC is out of the picture now for a variety of reasons (I made a commitment to attend school locally, for example) but it’s still nice to know for the future if we can be happy like that or not. Good data to have for future decisions.
Anon says
I stopped browsing clothing sales unless I was looking to fill a specific wardrobe hole or doing dedicated seasonal shopping for kid’s new sizes. Switching to online grocery shopping (which we did 3 years ago) is also good because I can see everything together (so fewer random odds and ends) and curbs the impulse buys, even though we could probably save more by say going to Aldi and sticking strictly to a meal-planned list, it’s the compromise that works for us.
Shockingly, the COVID lack of eating out has not saved as much money as I would have expected, I think in part because restaurant meals are so big we would usually string 2-3 meals out of them, and because the COVID-quarantine causes us to “treat” ourselves to fancier food cooking at home than we normally would, combined with the lack of work-comped meals and the massive amounts of cleaning supplies we’ve been acquiring (through our grocery orders since that’s the only place they have been consistently in stock) since I hadn’t cleaned my house in 5 years.
Anon says
Refinancing our house to a lower rate saved us $250 per month.
anon says
Yep, we just brought our mortgage down by $400 a month.
anne-on says
This – we’re now on our 3rd refi (almost 10 yrs in our house) and every time we’ve managed to take at least $300-$400 off. We’re in process to finish up this 3rd one now, it will only take roughly $150 off, but I doubt we’ll see rates much lower in the future so we just wanted to lock it in.
+1 to calling around to trim rates on recurring bills – we just brought down our auto insurance, ‘trimmed’ the cord on our cable package, and swapped electrical providers to lock in a lower generation rate. All in, we probably saved about $500/month (a lot of that was removing the 19yr old au pair from the car insurance though, teenage drivers are a FORTUNE to insure).
Anon says
We stopped buying much organic food, especially organic milk and produce. In my fantasy life, I would buy organic to help the planet, but it is usually twice as expensive and can really add up.
Anon says
Along the same lines, just shopping at a discount grocery store can save a lot of money. Even if you want organic it’s MUCH cheaper than Whole Foods. We buy organic milk because that’s the easiest way to get milk without antibiotics and growth hormone, but we don’t buy anything else organic. I like the idea of organic produce but it goes moldy so fast that it doesn’t work for us, especially when we’re trying to limit trips to the store.
anon says
Yeah, organic whole milk (for the kids) is our main organic purchase, though we also try to buy antibiotic-free meat (ideally not also organic, because then it gets really expensive). Strangely enough, Whole Foods is the cheapest place around where I live to buy organic milk.
Anonymous says
I literally don’t buy clothes or shoes for myself until they’re worn out. I hardly wear anything trendy and have a limited wardrobe. DH does the same.
Anne says
Tracking spending on mint.com. It takes some time to recategorize stuff but each time we’ve needed to save we’ve set a budget and then actually tracked it — it makes me change my behavior the most. Also – only reading library e-books on my kindle really adds up.
Anonymous says
Do not save your credit card online ANYWHERE. Having to go and physically get my credit card out of my wallet and type in the numbers is a huge disincentive for impulse shopping.
Have your credit card deduct automatically for the full amount from your bank account every month.
SC says
It sounds simple, but I changed my mindset to only buying items that I identified a need or desire for BEFORE I saw it online or in a store. So, if we’re cooking and say, “Darn, my favorite spatula melted in the dishwasher, I want to replace it,” or even, “It sure would be nice to have X, it would make my life so much easier,” we buy it. But if I see X and think, “Maybe that would be useful next time we cook,” or just “Pretty,” I don’t buy it. As you can imagine, the first scenario happens WAY less often and rarely leads to regrettable purchases. (This goes for grocery purchases, clothing, shoes, beauty supplies, makeup, furniture/home decor, etc.)
You said a single thing, but I’ll add that I also found ways to make my hobbies almost free. I read books from the library, I watch yoga videos online, and I use free weights and walk or run outside instead of having a gym membership.
Anon says
I don’t buy anything unless I want it at least a day later. My Amazon wish list is massive but is almost never touched. I put stuff in the ‘cart’ online and never buy it.
Mentally, my husband and I pretend that we are still poor graduate students and not well-paid professionals. I also like to ask myself how I will feel about the item when we move again: will I be happy that we have it and not mind packing it up, or angry that I spent money on it and now have to pack it or donate it?
Pogo says
Sarah Wells outlet sale is today and I have no way of knowing if I’ll ever travel again but I still kinda want to buy something….
Anonymous says
Of course you’ll travel again. Even if there’s never a vaccine, people are not going to stay holed up in their houses forever.
Anonymous says
I’d go for it! Even if you aren’t traveling for work again before you stop pumping, I see a good resale market for Sarah Wells at least in my area.
ElisaR says
I feel the same way Pogo. What do you like from Sarah Wells? I mostly see pump bags?
Pogo says
Yeah I was going to treat myself to a nice new travel pumping bag, but I doubt I’ll be traveling for work while I’m still pumping. That’s a good point about resale tho!
rosie says
I think I tried one and returned it. I don’t know how good of a sale it is, but it was cheaper for me to get a Spectra S9 than a Sarah Wells pump bag, and that is lighter and can get tossed in any bag.
anon says
Our grocery budget has ballooned out of control during the past couple of months, partly because we’re at home all the time and also because I am buying too many snacks for the kids because they’re home more, too. I feel like I need to reign this in a bit. The prepackaged snacks are definitely a convenience thing because the cooking and dishwashing is nonstop right now, and sometimes I just can’t anymore. I’ve been buying more treat items for all of us because let’s face it, it’s a small hit of joy when you’re not going many places. But this is probably not a good thing for the long term. Any tips for cutting back on nonessential groceries, other than just exercising more self-control? Maybe I need a budget for treats. :)
Anon says
If you’re eating more at home, aren’t you saving on eating out? I think you should look at things globally and if your total eating budget is roughly the same I wouldn’t worry about it. Our grocery bill has doubled during the pandemic, but we both used to eat lunch out every day, so that’s easily $100/week we’re saving on meals out, which more than covers the increased grocery bill.
Anon says
Do you meal plan for the week and use a shopping list? Do you have a grocery budget in mind when you shop (xx per week)? I’d start there.
It’s hard though. Food is expensive and you don’t want to deprive your family or make a lot of extra work for yourself. I get it.
One other thing – plan a couple dinners a week that are truly cheap and easy, like grilled cheese sandwiches or eggs and toast type meals that kids like anyway.
For cheaper snacks, we buy large amounts of store-brand cheese and cut sections off instead of doing string cheese. Hard boiled eggs are pretty cheap too.
Anonymous says
Meal planning is also clutch in our house. Two week rotation for dinners, one week rotation for lunches. One shelf of the pantry is stocked with afterschool snacks. They are allowed those or fruit/veg from the fridge. Baby carrots, apple slices with peanut butter for dipping etc. If they are doing in person school, I keep after school shelf stocked with stuff they are not allowed to have at school during the day like peanut butter and crackers, pistachios, almonds, etc. That makes those foods more appealing. Bulk nuts are inexpensive at Costco.
Anonymous says
If you’re still reading this, can you provide your weekly rotation? I try doing this and my husband decides he doesn’t want it and then it all goes out the window (I understand this is his problem, not mine, but I want to fix).
anon says
What sort of prepackaged snacks are you buying? We avoid buying single-serving snack packs and instead get bulk boxes of things like Goldfish at Costco.
Anon says
For the adults, I keep one snack (junk food) per week on the grocery order and rotate it. Potato chips, cheezits, honey grahams, tortilla chips and queso, etc. I find knowing that’s my snack and I can either eat that or not tends to curb the snacking to when I truly want something (plus eating the same snack every day is less appealing to me). This is more from a diet perspective than a cost perspective, but works for both.
I actually just added hello fresh to our rotation. And knowing we have those 3 meals a week planned with exactly the ingredients we need has allowed me to be a lot more mindful about the remaining meals on our groceries- I can buy the staples every week and fill in with the same list of regular cheaper meals – grilled cheese and tomato soup, tacos, frozen potstickers, macaroni and cheese, salads, pot pies, crispy oven gnocchi, bolognese, french onion soup, etc, while we’re still getting the variety without the extra waste of random ingredients, leftovers that never get eaten before they go bad, etc.
Anonymous says
This is brilliant.
Anonanonanon says
If the dishwashing is what’s driving you to pre-packaged expensive snacks, can you try paper plates/cooking in disposable aluminum pans? I use the aluminum pans to make freeze-ahead meals, and it’s nice that it cuts down on dishes, too. Paper plates for one meal a day- say, lunches, might help, too.
Cheap things I use to feed the kids, that I’ve brought back from when I was a broke single mom with my first:
-Just add milk (1/2 cup) muffin mix. My kids like the blueberry or chocolate chip, and my 2.5 year old likes to help make them since it’s so easy. Each pack is around $1 and makes 6 muffins. That with fruit and milk is a fine breakfast. No worse than cereal but much cheaper.
-Bag of frozen diced grilled chicken breast (I order a huge back of Tyson brand) beefs up a lot of meals. I sometimes add to mac and cheese with a side of steam-in the bag broccoli.
-Knorr pasta sides- I throw in a few cubes of frozen chicken to make it a meal for the kids. Mine like the cheddar broccoli pasta, the teryaki noodles, and the alfredo noodles. A bag is around $1.
-Pasta is cheap. My kids are fine eating pasta with sauce from a jar and a side of fruit and/or steam-in-the-bag veggies and, sometimes, garlic bread
-Frozen texas garlic toast, store brand is less than $2 for a box of 8 slices.
-A big bag of pretzels is cheap. My kids like them with peanut butter.
-cake and brownie mix is pretty cheap, as are homemade chocolate chip cookies. I spoon out the cookie dough and freeze so it’s possible to bake just a few cookies at a time. Much cheaper than buying individually-packed or pre-made desserts but not as labor-intensive as homemade.
-A bag of storebrand pizza crust mix (comes in a pouch) is around $0.80. That and some jarred pizza sauce and shredded cheese and let the kids make a pizza friday night and watch a movie.
-Grilled cheese and tomato soup is a cheap meal that is yummy.
-Speaking of cheese, I don’t buy different cheese for snacks and sandwiches. If my kids want cheese and crackers, I cut the sliced cheddar into fourths for their crackers. We don’t have babybel or string cheese right now.
-When I was a broke single mom, I did not buy cereal, packaged snacks, soda, or juice. If your kids really like lemonade etc, they still make those cans of frozen concentrate you might remember from childhood. They’re cheap and kids like to help make them. I haven’t used them in years but I just remembered they exist!
SC says
I agree about looking at your overall budget. Our family’s grocery bill is way up, but other bills are down. We used to spend a lot on weekends doing free activity + buying a treat there, and I’d categorize that as “activities/entertainment.” Now, that spending has shifted to buying treats at the grocery store, or maybe picking them up and bringing them home, but overall it’s less money. If you’re looking to cut back though, I suggest just buying one or two items per week.
Look at the pre-packaged snacks you’re buying. Babybel is ridiculously expensive except at Costco, and it might be worth it to just buy bulk cheese. Same with individual tubs of hummus and applesauce. But mandarin oranges and bananas are the original pre-packaged snacks, and they are amazing and cheap and get eaten way more often than cantaloupe or pineapple or something that somebody actually has to cut. (Also, I started putting our fruit bowl in the center of the kitchen table, and my 5 year old who hated fruit until 2 weeks ago will now help himself to bananas, mandarin oranges, and nectarines!)
Anon says
Apologies in advance if I offend somebody asking parents for advice on dog situation but I think you may have the most experience with this issue parenting humans that I can apply to our situation.
My husband lost his temper on our dog this weekend. He didn’t do anything outrageous like hit it but there was work being done across the street and the dog just wouldn’t stop barking. His reaction really scared the dog. Later, he felt so so so bad and I can tell he still does.
I likewise lost my temper awhile ago on the same dog and had the same super guilty reaction. I remember crying to my husband that the dog didn’t understand why I was suddenly so angry at it and there is no way for me to explain and apologize like I could if I had yelled at my husband instead. I was really beating myself up. My husband said something along the lines of “how do you think parents feel? Every parent loses their temper at some point at their kids and they are often too young to explain it to them.”
I’m having a hard time getting over the sadness from seeing my dog scared when my husband yelled at him. I know my husband is beating himself up, apologized to me, made up with the dog as best as he could (since they obviously don’t understand) so I don’t want to bring it up to him again. I had been taking pictures of the construction equipment outside to send to my nephew and unfortunately caught the moment my poor dog was scared. I know I need to just delete that photo and not look at it again but it just breaks my heart.
Thank you for letting me vent this all here. Parents, how do you stop beating yourself (or your spouse) up when one of you loses your cool on your kid or pet?
Anonymous says
With kids, you brainstorm a strategy for avoiding losing your temper the next time, then you apologize and explain that you were angry and lost your temper and you should have done XYZ instead. It’s good for kids to hear their parents apologize for mistakes.
Spirograph says
Hm. I think babies and dogs both have a fairly short memory for things like this as long as it’s an infrequent incident in an otherwise loving relationship. Toddlers and up DO have the ability to comprehend, “Yelling was wrong, and I’m very sorry. Next time, I am going to do X instead. I love you, how can I help you feel better? Would a hug help?” Life is full of mistakes; we do what we can to ameliorate, learn from them and move on. It’s only been a couple days, for me, things like this fades naturally if I’ve made an active effort to acknowledge, apologize, and re-establish trust. My kids provide me ample opportunity to get frustrated, so I just focus on doing better next time.
AnotherAnon says
The guilt is real, but the best thing you can do is move forward and focus on how to do better next time. With kids, I think it’s very important to address it and apologize, even if they’re very small and you think they don’t understand. For the dog: be affectionate and really focus on how to manage your anger next time. I’m not trying to be melodramatic but the one person I know who (frequently) lost his temper with his dog came from an abusive background. He is now divorced, but was definitely moving toward inappropriate discipline strategies with his toddler. If this is a frequent occurrence with your dog, please look into therapy. Your dog and future kids (and you!) deserve better.
Anon says
Thank you! And I can assure you this is not a common occurrence which is why we took it so hard. We’ve decided in the future if we can’t fix the situation and we can’t stand the situation, we will leave the situation.
We couldn’t stop the road construction outside (and had no prior notice) and there was nowhere in the house or yard the dog could go where he couldn’t hear it and would stop barking (the super loud intruder intruder intruder bark). If it happens again, we will either just leave and let the dog bark (single family home and neighbors wouldn’t hear it over construction anyway) or take the dog with us for a ride or to the park or something. Obviously hard to do when the construction turns out to be all day during a pandemic.
Anonymous says
Omg get a grip! Delete the photo! Stop dwelling! It’s a dog. It has moved on
Post-daycare blues says
Help! Our son just turned two and ever since going back to daycare (nearly a month ago), he’s been a total disaster in the evenings. He’s charming and happy when I pick him up, but once we get to the car it all goes south. Everything is a battle, from getting into his car seat to getting him into the house, to washing his hands. It’s just endless stalling and meltdown after meltdown.
He goes to bed at 7:30 and has been taking decent naps. I’ve tried How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen, but I think he just isn’t quite old enough for the “make a solution together” stuff yet – for whatever reason, it isn’t working.
Is this just my life now?
Anon says
Earlier bedtime? We aim to put my 2.5 year old in bed by 6:30, which I know is super early but she gets cranky if we push it much later. She doesn’t nap though.
rosie says
Any chance he’s hungry? I think I first started noticing toddler hangriness around that age. Can you do a snack in the car on the way home (bribe with something he likes to get him into car seat)?
Boston Legal Eagle says
+1 My kids get an afternoon snack from daycare (usually apples) and I think it helps tide some of the hunger until dinner about an hour later.
AnotherAnon says
This was going to be my suggestion: offer a snack right at pickup. Apples with peanut butter, pb crackers, cheese stick, gogurt, a box of raisins, even popcorn could tide him over depending on your commute. I’m not saying this is your new normal but mine got super independent around age two. Wanted to do everything himself but just couldn’t yet, and that frustrated him. Offering choices (where appropriate) seemed to help: “Would you like apples or crackers for snack? Do you want dinosaur or firetruck pjs?” If he says “I don’t want apple or crackers I want marshmallows!” I respond “Those aren’t on the menu – you can have apple or crackers. If you cannot choose, I will choose for you.” If he pivots on pjs, eh, who cares. He gets a sense of control and I get him in some pjs without a fight. Sometimes I will even say “You chose monster pjs! Good compromise!” and now at age 3.5 we can talk about compromises. One final suggestion: would it be possible to do literally the same routine every single weekday for a couple of weeks? Pickup, snack, wash hands at home, play time, dinner, bath, pjs, book, brush teeth, lights out. When mine was little he needed more consistency when he was feeling out of sync. Giving him a lot of physical touch also helped (still does). Good luck!
Anonanonanon says
+1 my kid did this around that age and it turned out he was incredibly thirsty. They weren’t offering drinks very often in class and when they did it was in tiny dixie cups which he wasn’t great at drinking out of. If he could a drink in his car seat he was an entirely different child.
Anonymous says
Put him to bed earlier? He’s prob just tired. See if 7pm bedtime makes a difference, but honestly I still put my 3.5yo to bed at 6:45 yesterday because she had a busy day.
Anonymous says
Babywearing saved me at that age. My youngest just really needed the closeness. I used the Ergo but you might need a Tula Toddler if he’s a bigger kid. I rucked him up on my back when we got home, handed him a sippy cup with a splash of juice and let him cuddle while I started dinner. Somehow being in the carrier worked better than just being held. Usually after 20 minutes, he wanted to hop down and play. Also try to keep routine as consistent as possible from when you come up to when he goes to bed.
Anonymous says
He’s tired. One of my kids often got pulled midway through dinner (or before dinner) at that age and put right to bed. Don’t take it personally, life is exhausting at that age, give them a cuddle and throw them in bed.
Anon says
snack at pickup, earlier bed time and discussing the plan of the various steps. i have twins and we are a few months ahead. they each tantrum at different things. one really likes knowing the plan/steps, and i though didn’t really get what i was talking about, but once he starts talking more, you’ll be shocked at what he remembers/internalizes. so like the first step is we are going to get into the car seat, then you will eat a snack in the car seat, when you get home you will do x, y and z. the other one gets low blood sugar and becomes impossible if doesn’t eat every few hours. Twin B also really likes choices and the strategy of being silly from How to Talk works really well for her – so, to get into you car seat do you want to pretend to quack like a duck or roar like a lion, etc. I’ve had to try out different things for each to see what works. And it also usually doesn’t work right away. Right now at 27 months, both are very into timers/counting down. So, yesterday DH was trying to put Twin B into stroller and we were on the verge of a tantrum. i said, ‘when i count down from 5 it will be time to get into stroller,’ and started counting down and then no tantrum. we definitely still have tantrums though, but this helps a lot
Anonymous says
Echoing snack at pick up. I usually do something healthyish that I know my kid likes along with a treat. So like apple slices or a graham cracker plus 5-6 Skittles. Makes all the difference in the world. And water.
EB says
We are doing this with our old house (which now has a tenant in it), but don’t think we can get any lower on the new house! But a great suggestion. Has anyone experienced issues getting a refinance? I heard there were long wait times as everyone jumps on the new low rates?
Clementine says
HOW.
In the last week, suddenly all the kids’ clothes are too small, too short, etc. I had to run out and buy new shoes because my kid (literally) grew out of this sneakers overnight.
…Part of it is that the seasons have changed so I notice length in pants whereas it wasn’t obvious in shorts. The other thing I’ve noticed is that I haven’t been doing a ‘drop by’ Target and picking up a couple pair of pants for each kid. Likewise, I haven’t just stopped by a sale rack at Old Navy/Baby Gap and grabbed a few long sleeved shirts. I do have some lovely clothes from Hanna and Tea bought on sale, but… really finding that I’m missing some of the more basic ‘leggings and long sleeve t-shirts’ that I used to grab while out and about.
Anon says
We are having the same problem. My 4yo is on his third pair of shoes (new size) since March. I think it’s just his age, too.
Anne says
Target app? That thing is dangerously addictive. I switched to it when we tried to phase out amazon and now I just add a clothing item to an order of detergent/oatmeal etc.
Anonymous says
My 13-year-old has blown through two clothing sizes and two shoe sizes since March.
Anonymous says
We had this at the start of the summer when kiddo went back to daycare in June. She basically got an entirely new summer wardrobe except for t-shirts that still fit (which I noticed last night now seem very short). It is mind boggling sometimes.
So Anon says
I just ran out on my lunch break to buy my son more pants because in a matter of weeks he jumped two sizes. I honestly don’t understand what happened… I remember multiple breakfasts where he put away twice to three times the “normal” amount and he now comes to my chin when I give him a hug but it just feels like it happened overnight. For me, I think it is amplified because he was FTT as a baby and has Crohn’s, so I am just not used to him blowing through sizes. It is absolutely wonderful but my mind can’t keep up!!
Anne-on says
Yuuuup. We have picture day tomorrow and suddenly I realized he’s between sizes and only fits in number sizes (so, 6/7/8 works, but not s/m/l sizing). I do not understand why but all the next size up clothes I stockpiled are M’s. Cue the frantic gap order last night and lunchtime run to grab a long sleeve shirt that isn’t comically large.
Totally snuck up on me because I swear casual clothes have more ‘give’ (nobody notices if the basketball shorts are a bit longer or shorter or the tshirts are a bit baggier.). But if your cuffs are hanging over your hands it’s an issue.
Anonymommy says
Any tips on how to talk to your boss about workload? I know it’s Covid, they’ve laid staff off, and I don’t want to sound ungrateful. But I feel behind on everything and wake up at night worrying about it. My firm is very old school (and small – I’m not sure who else they can give work to) and think some of my cases are very routine and easy. But, those still take time.
Anonymous says
Come with the solution you want. They are more likely to say yes if you are presenting both the problem and the solution because that gets the issue on and off their desk in one conversation. Like is there a first year that you want to have be responsible for ABC type of easy matters and report to you on those matters or do you want the second or third year to take them over entirely to lessen your load? Unless you are the most junior person there, as for more support from lower levels – more juniors assigned to you or more secretarial assistance or whatever helps you.
Anon says
Any solutions for tangled toddler hair? I brush it twice daily but it still gets snarled all the time. The hair feels really coarse – should I be using conditioner? I suspect she really needs a professional haircut but that’s not going to happen any time soon.
Anon says
We switched to a quality grown up shampoo and conditioner and it helped a lot. Toddler shampoos weren’t cutting it.
anon. says
Yes. Switch. Depending on how thick it is, you can also mix some conditioner with water and leave it in the ends (instead of buying a separate leave in conditioner).
Mary Moo Cow says
Are you using detangling spray? After having to cut a vicious snarl out of my 4 year olds hair, I became a detangling spray devotee. The best one I’ve found is, surprisingly, suave kids marigold. That and a tangle teaser or a wet brush, twice a day, have kept tangles at bay.
Anonymous says
My kids have short hair, but I have always had easily tangled hair and still use a detangler. When my kids’ hair gets super tangled/course, I do a focused spot of adult conditioner (it is usually the back of their heads, so no concerns about contact with their eyes).
Anonanonanon says
I’ve been using suave detangler on my daughter’s curly (not tight curls, just long and curly) hair and it makes a huge difference. I do it nightly after shower and brush through it.
Spirograph says
How long is her hair? My daughter has really fine hair so the tangles don’t get *too* terrible, but since it was wavy/curly when she was younger, it was key to do some kind of style to keep it in line. When she was really little, that was just a whale spout on top of her head, but once it was long enough to braid, that was much better, esp since she’s a very active sleeper and it would get matted when she thrashed around in her sleep during naps. Use conditioner, comb and put it in a braid while still wet.
If it’s long and hard to comb through, you’re probably right that she needs a haircut. Professional is better, but you can totally just cut straight across to trim the last 2 inches off at home. It makes a huge difference in tangles to get rid of the ends.
Anon says
Move to separate kids shampoo and conditioner (tear free) if you haven’t already and add a detangler. I have a curly-haired munchkin, and our routine is the johnson and johnson no more tangles shampoo (green), followed by the j and j ultra hydrating conditioner (white). I then spray in a ridiculously expensive but works like a dream detangler from purology that her stylist used at the salon last year and I had to call back 2 weeks later to find out what they used because our at home detanglers were not cutting it (and which I now also use on my own hair – color fanatic leave in spray ). Because she has curls, I then follow up with the j and j curl leave in conditioner as a light curling cream to fight frizz and give definition – likely unnecessary if you’re dealing with straight hair.
rosie says
We like Aussie conditioner for my toddler’s curly hair (picked for the purple bottle & avocado pictured on the front). It does leave her hair softer and it’s easier to comb tangles out — we only comb with wide-tooth comb when wet, the advice might be different for non-curly hair. Cantu kids, Shea moisture, and the fairy tales lice repellant detangler spray are all good.
Anonymous says
You definitely need conditioner. With my girls with curly hair, I moved to it as soon as it was long enough to get tangled. We tried Honest detangler for awhile but it wasn’t cutting it. Now the girls just use the same conditioner for curly hair that i use.
Anon says
I know people have mentioned a mesh wireless system. We have an extender now, but it is a pain to switch back and forth when we move around the house. I like the idea of a mesh system, but I don’t know where to start. Any recommendations? If it makes a difference, we have both PC and Apple computers (and have iPhones, but they switch around much more seemlessly, so aren’t the issue).
Anon says
If you’re using the cable company router it’s possible that getting a better router (like Nighthawk) will give you the range. Otherwise, your best mesh options are Orbi, Eero, or Google Nest.
Anon says
We have one and love it. 100% hear you on the extender. Wirecutter has a pretty comprehensive guide to get you started https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-wi-fi-mesh-networking-kits/
Anne-on says
We bought the eero after looking at wirecutter reviews. As prime members it was the best combo of features we needed for the price. And with the prime credit card and all the Whole Foods shopping I do/did during shut down we were able to apply like $100 worth of points to the purchase.
AnotherAnon says
Kiddo and I have started taking fish oil in the morning. I don’t usually eat breakfast, but fish oil does a number on my stomach and plain toast isn’t cutting it. All that to say I just googled egg cup recipes and now I’m embarrassed that I’ve never made them: they look super simple! I think I’ll start with some spinach I need to use up, onion and cheddar cheese, since that’s what we have. tl;dr – What are your favorite egg cup filling ingredients?
Anon says
another idea – could you take the fish oil at night? i cant take vitamins in the morning, they make me sick
Anonymous says
+1 The prenatals I took for one pregnancy had fish oil in them and that was the only time I ever had morning sickness. Switching to taking them before bed totally eliminated the problem.
But as far as egg cups, I like ham (or any other deli meat we have around), cheese, mushrooms, and spinach. You’re right, they are super simple and great to have on hand for busy mornings! You can make ahead and zap a refrigerated one, wrapped in a paper towel, for a few seconds and they are fast and delicious.
katy says
+1 to this – a few years ago my opthamalogist put me on an insane fish oil supplement regime. (it actually worked! i was TTC at the time so other treatments were off the table)
The only time i could take them was end of the day, right after dinner when i was full. Otherwise the after taste and nausea was awful. I still only take vitamins / fish oil after dinner. (Added bonus i end up chugging one extra glass of water then).
Coach Laura says
Caramelized onions, sauteed spinach, ham or Canadian bacon or regular bacon and shredded Parmesan.
Sauteed zucchini, asparagus and bell peppers, shallots and feta cheese or brie cheese chunks.
Steamed cauliflower and roasted jarred bell peppers with sauteed chopped red onion. Add cheddar or Swiss.
Anonymous says
This is why we take algae DHA instead of fish oil.
OP says
But Rhonda Patrick doesn’t take algae DHA :)
Anonymous says
I had never heard of her before. Oh, my.
OP says
Yeah she’s something else huh? That comment was kind of tongue in cheek. We started fish oil because it improves kiddo’s behavior and mood (significantly). DH is into supplements (I am too now that we’re TTC) and he’s taken it for years. I take it in solidarity to show kiddo that it’s not that bad, so it bothering my stomach is a bit of a cruel irony. I see that Nordic Naturals has DHA though so maybe I should look into that. TIL, lol. Thanks!
Anonymous says
I figured it was tongue in cheek!
Anon says
My boss has decided to start holding 8 am meetings all the time. I have to drop my kids at daycare between 8:30 and 9 and my husband can’t take them because of the one parent rule. Would you just decline the invite or try to explain? I feel like I get penalized every time I mention anything related to kids or childcare and I am so sick of it. Even if you’re not a parent, who likes 8 am meetings?!
Anonymous says
Ugh, is this a recurring meeting, or one-offs? In normal times, did your work hours include 8am? I assume 8am is not part of your company’s core hours. I’d decline and wait for boss to ask why. I don’t think you should get into why your husband can’t drop off the kids, just say that daycare drop off is 8:30-9, so your planned work hours are 9-5 or whatever.
If these are important meetings that you really should attend, and your boss insists on holding them at 8am, I’d try to work that out with your husband and daycare accordingly. But if they’re BS meetings that you can skip, decline and move on.
Anon says
They’re recurring and important-ish but yeah 8 am is not our core hours at all. I work in an industry that’s kind of famous for night owls, so in normal times it was more common to see people arriving at the office at 10 am than 8 am. The office was a ghost town before 9 and I’ve never heard of meetings being scheduled at 8 except in extreme circumstances when the meeting is urgent and it’s the only time everyone is available and then it’s usually done with a “So sorry to schedule an 8 am meeting, but we need to urgently discuss XYZ and this was the only time I could find on people’s calendars…”
Boston Legal Eagle says
The main reason I can think of to hold meetings outside of the standard 9-5 is if you have a lot of international team members, who are on different schedules. Is that the case with your team? If it’s all one time zone, then this is super annoying and is an implicit way of discriminating against working parents. Are you close enough with your boss that you can explain your schedule?
Anon says
Definitely no one in a different time zone.
I just declined it and got an immediate “let me guess, you have a childcare issue?” response. Exactly what I was hoping to avoid, but it is what it is. I feel like this pandemic has set women back 100 years.
SC says
I would say, “No, I have an issue taking my child to childcare.”
Anon says
I can’t believe you got that response. So rude!
SC says
I thought the one parent rule was that only one adult can go inside with a kid at a time. Does your daycare require each family to designate one adult to always do drop off and pick up? If that one parent is unavailable, the kid isn’t allowed to be dropped off at daycare? Is this common?
Anon says
Yeah, they have a rule that only one parent can do the drop-off and pick-up, barring an emergency. For a one time conflict, I’m sure they would allow us to sub in the other parent but because this is a weekly meeting, I think they would ask us to switch to my husband being the one that did all the drop-offs and pick-ups, which doesn’t work for him because he set up his schedule this semester with the understanding I was doing all the drop-offs and pick-ups. (And also it would make me sad to never go to daycare, plus in our family the parent not going to daycare has to prepare dinner and I haaaaaate cooking. So I do not want to make this switch full-time even if it would work for my husband ;))
Boston Legal Eagle says
We’ve got the one parent rule (recommendation really) as well and I do drop offs and pick ups now for the same dinner reason! If my husband did the pick up, I would have to start dinner and I would much rather just pick up the kids. Your boss’ response is really disappointing. My work has been doing a lot of training for managers to acknowledge the crazy times now and to be empathetic to employees who are dealing with all sorts of issues, including childcare (which they should be doing anyway). It sounds like your boss doesn’t care about this at all. I would just do my best to be matter of fact about your schedule and not apologize for it, and see what happens. If you feel you are being discriminated against work-wise, is there an HR person you trust that you can talk to? I’m sorry.
SC says
That rule is banana crackers. I get that they’re trying to reduce the total number of adults in and out of the building. In reality, you’re all sharing germs with your kid at home, so I doubt it accomplishes anything. And it makes things so hard for people who have to work longer than daycare hours, or who don’t live near daycare, or who have one early meeting each week, or who are divorced and share custody. (I’m not divorced, but I can’t imagine it being pleasant to have to go to an ex’s house several days a week so you can be the only adult doing dropoff and pickup, especially if they don’t live close or if that relationship is not great.)
Anon says
I’m sure they work with you if you have extenuating circumstances like divorce. We haven’t pushed back because it isn’t a big deal for us. I hear you on the germ sharing but pretty much all daycares have rules that feel unnecessary right now, like washing bedding every day. Whatever they’re doing seems to be working (we’ve been back two months without so much as a runny nose, knock on wood) and daycare is infinitely better for our family than a nanny or no childcare, so I’ll comply with whatever rules they put in place regardless of how silly they seem.
Anon says
Yea, I’d push back on the rule re: drop offs being one parent only, and just say ‘this won’t work for us’. I mean, I get the germ rules, but at some point, it’s all theater and appearances when you and the other parent are living with the children who are in daycare. Especially now that the studies are coming out that show kids can transmit COVID as readily as adults.
That being said, your boss is a jerk and is unreasonable and I’m sorry, and this stupid pandemic stucks and may be the final straw that derails my career because it doesn’t matter how understanding work is, if you have co-workers who are unaffected by massive changes in the availability of child care and have no responsibility for overseeing any sort of kid stuff, they are going to progress, not you. Who me, bitter? no….