Have You Sought Out New Mom Friends?

Working Mothers and Mom Friends

2018 Update: We still stand by this older conversation about finding mom friends once you become a mom — but you may also want to check out some of our newer discussions, such as about playdate etiquette for introverts or how to deal when you don’t like your kid’s friends’ parents

How are you doing on your mom friendships? One of my best friends, who was now a SAHM, asked me that question when both of our kids were about 6 months old. She had actively been trying to make friends with neighborhood moms at the playgrounds and local gym classes, both to schedule playdates and build a support system. Some of the friendships, she found, were kind of forced; others were going well.

My response: huh? I had friends. Some of them were moms. Why did I need local mom friends — new friends where the only thing we had in common was locality and the fact that we got pregnant around the same time? If a friendship happened naturally, great, but I wasn’t going to seek it out (and I certainly wasn’t going to try to force it). In addition to being a lifelong introvert, my reasoning at the time was that she was a SAHM and needed a support system and a schedule — as a WAHM mom I already had a schedule, and I preferred to spend my limited kid-time either focused on the kid or as a family. Besides, I figured, mom friends would come about naturally once my child started making friends.

I’ve thought a lot about that conversation, though, and am curious what other working moms have done. Did you prioritize finding new “mom friends,” even if just for maternity leave? (Have you kept in touch after you went back to work?) Have you naturally made new mom friends? For those readers with older kids, have your mom friendships changed through the years?

Pictured: Onehundred and fiftythree, originally uploaded to Flickr by Roxanne Milward.

Weekly Recs/Open Thread

Something on your mind? Chat about it here. But first:
working mom clothing recommendationsPictured above:

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News Roundup

News roundup - The NightlightSome of the articles of interest to working mothers that we’ve seen around the web recently…

  • Just launched: The Nightlight, a blog that offers guides to buying the best baby gear.
  • In the NYT, Yael Chatav Schonbrun shares her efforts to combine motherhood and academia.
  • In another NYT opinion piece, Courtney E. Martin writes about the difficulty American parents face in finding quality, affordable child care.
  • The Muse tells moms to quit five bad habits that just add more stress to our lives. (What do you think of this advice?)
  • Apartment Therapy (via Lifehacker) gives you three easy ways to declutter that don’t take much time at all.

Make sure to check out the news update over at Corporette!

On Corporette Recently…

Family Dinners and Working Parents

family dinners and working parentsToday’s fun topic: how does your family navigate dinnertime with two parents working outside the home? Are you able to be together for family dinners on weeknights? Who cooks, who plans, who shops? (Or, who picks up takeout?) How early do you start dinner to negotiate bedtime rituals like a bath and storytime? More fun questions about family dinners and working parents:

  • does one parent always work late? both?
  • does one parent have an unpredictable schedule that leaves the other parent guessing?
  • do you have an agreement, like “if you’re not home by 6:30, the kids and I are going to start eating” or “I will call by 6:00 if I think I’m going to be working late tonight”?
  • does one parent come home to eat with the family and then return to the office to continue working?
  • are there certain days of the week when you make sure to have a family dinner?
  • do you have any mealtime “rituals,” like “what was the best/worst part of your day?”?
  • do you make and freeze food ahead of time to make dinnertime easier, or maybe a nanny helps get food ready?
  • how has dinnertime changed since your days pre-kids?

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Open Thread (and Recs)

Something on your mind? Chat here. But first:

working mom recommendations 7-28

 

  1. For the pregnant mom: This maternity dress looks like it has everything I look for in a maternity dress: dark color, washable fabric, high neckline, flattering shape, versatile enough to dress up or down — and friendly on the budget.  It’s $32.94, exclusively online at OldNavy.com.  Maternity Ponte Tank Dresses
  2. For the non-nursing mom: This pleated v-neck dress from LOFT isn’t nursing friendly at all, but would be great for early pregnancy, weekends, and I’d even wear it to the office on a casual day (with a blazer and closed-toe pumps).   It’s washable, and I like the modest hemline and neckline. It’s $49.50 in regular and petites, but use code FIFTY to take 50% off. Pleated V-Neck Dress
  3. For everyone: The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale continues (prices go back up August 4!), and these highly rated Born flats look like the right mix of work-appropriate, funky, and comfortable.  They’re available exclusively online in chianti and navy in sizes 5-11. Born Lola Flats
  4. For nursing moms: I just did a massive order of nursing bras from Amazon, and I was pleasantly surprised by this bra — not only does it look like just a regular t-shirt bra and have great nursing bra details (6 rows of hooks at the back, nice clips), but the real bonus was the inside of the bra, which has a bright, happy pink floral pattern.  (It is also a convertible bra, if you’re on the hunt for one of those.)  Amazon has it in black and “nude,” both with underwire, while Nordstrom has the beige in both an underwire and non-wire version. It’s $65. Cake Lingerie Toffee Convertible T-Shirt Nursing Bra
  5. For everyone: I’ve mentioned these initial necklaces before on Corporette, and I own two of them (silver and gold) with the letter “G” — I love these mini initial necklaces from Maya Brenner.  You can now get up to FOUR initials (or numbers) on one chain — nice. (Need an invite for BaubleBar? Click here.)  Prices start at $240 (for a necklace with one initial).  Maya Brenner Asymmetrical Mini Character Necklace 

Happy workweek, readers!

News Roundup

News update - wine holderSome of the articles of interest to working mothers that we’ve seen around the web recently…

  • So, you may have seen those sippy-cup wine glasses, or the ones labeled “Mommy Juice.” Well, Hello Ladies introduces you to the latest mom-friendly wine accessory, which gives you a place to enjoy your wine in the shower.
  • Kat’s had gray hairs since she was 26, but they seem to be multiplying every time her toddler learns a new death-defying trick… Lucky tells us 6 ways to cover up grays fast, at least at the roots.
  • Our hair has a tendency to change after pregnancy (with some changes welcome, others not so much!); Alpha Mom answers a reader question about the aftermath of getting highlights.
  • Long-but-good read: in the Atlantic, Stephen Marche writes about work-life balance and poses this question, among others: “Where is the chorus of men asking for paternity leave?” What do you think of Marche’s essay?
  • Cribsters features a post from a mother who works full time but don’t suffer from “working mom guilt.”
  • Hmm, maybe she has one of the jobs on this list — Glassdoor’s 20 best jobs for work/life balance, via the Muse.
  • Working Moms Against Guilt gives some advice on getting back to a workout routine after having a baby.
  • Could you eat well for $4 a day? This free cookbook (PDF download) shows you how, via Lifehacker. Other good recipe sources: the $5 Dinners blog and the Food Network’s Ten Dollar Dinners. Any other thrifty recipe sites (or cookbooks) you know of?

Make sure to check out the news update over at Corporette!

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