As the days grow longer, my thoughts turn to gardening. But where I live, it won’t be warm enough to plant anything outside for nearly two months.
In the meantime, perhaps a mushroom growing kit will scratch my itchy green thumb. I’ve never grown mushrooms before, so I’ll need something beginner-friendly. Back to the Roots’ Organic Mushroom Growing Kit might be what I’m looking for.
Each kit is organic and easy to grow indoors: Just mist, and in just over a week, you’ll have your own little crop of mushrooms. I think my kids will get a kick out of it, especially my oldest — she loves eating mushrooms, and this would be a fun and easy thing to do together. There’s even a pink oyster mushroom kit — her favorite color!
The kits are available at Amazon for $12.94–$23.41. Another option is grow kits from Smallhold, starting at $30. (The Lion’s Mane looks really neat!)
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
AnonV says
For anyone who continued breastfeeding after going back to work: Did any of you have issues with the baby rejecting nursing and preferring bottles? I am starting work on Monday and we had introduced bottles with pumped milk in preparation. Last week, the baby would not nurse and only take bottles. We are back to normal right now, but I am afraid we might have a repeat next week when, inevitably, he will be bottle-fed during the day.
Anonymous says
No, I had the opposite problem – baby rejected bottles.
Anon says
+1
Anonymous says
Yes, my baby was a one-trick pony. Only bottles, then only nursing, then only sippy cup.
Pogo says
I’ve heard it happen, yes. I don’t have a great solution – the friend who this happened to ended up weaning and switching to formula, but it was later (around 7mos) and LO struggled with weight gain. If baby is healthy and ped not concerned, I would keep on keeping on and hope he comes around.
With my first I had the opposite and more common problem (baby ate only like 2oz the entire day from bottles when we first started and I was terrified he would starve, but he was healthy, gaining weight etc so I just kept up the plan and he got over it quickly).
Anonymous says
Maybe try a slower flow nipple on the bottles combined with paced feeding? It could be that the bottles are too easy? I feel like that was a big deal back when I was nursing/pumping, but I could be mixed up.
Anonymous says
This. Mine used the smallest nipple flow size up to like a year old.
Katala says
I agree with this too. I kept the level 1 nipples on for a long, long time and babies didn’t seem to mind and did not have a preference, until later when little brother was 8-9mos or so and old enough to not want to miss the action by nursing when he could look around more while drinking a bottle.
anonymommy says
Or the Medela calma – it is supposed to mimic the breast more. My kids had the opposite issue (and would nurse SO MUCH when I got off work that it created other issues), but this was recommended to me if they start preferring bottles too much.
ChiAnon says
Yes, once my daughter started taking bottles, her desire to nurse decreased. And once she tasted formula, she refused breastmilk in a bottle too. She was 7 months so we just weaned.
Solo Parenting for a long stretch says
I know there are a few of you who solo parent regularly- what are your tips for survival? In a little over a month, my husband is going to be gone for 3-5 weeks (tbd if they do a 2 week quarantine at the start, vaccinations, or both) for military training. I’m going to be solo parenting our son who will be about 9 months at the time. My parents are an hour drive and both still work full time, but my mom has offered to come pitch in a bit. In-laws are across the country.
We are lucky because he’s a good sleeper and generally a happy baby. He is in daycare during the work day.
Anon says
Prep as much as you can the night before (packing lunches and daycare bag, for example). Takeout dinners more often, and use paper plates if you can afford it. Cut down on baby baths if you are doing it every night (I know there’s a lot of controversy here about bath frequency, but every day shouldn’t be necessary). Basically cut corners in any way that’s not unhealthy. With only one adult home, there is definitely less cleaning needed, so let any cleaning slide too.
Anonymous says
There is zero controversy that every other day is fine!
ElisaR says
ha! zero.
(i’m one of many here who’s kids are 2 baths per week)
Clementine says
OH, have I got you. I live that solo parenting life.
My husband has been gone since late last fall. He has a job that requires him to be gone for months at a time and this is the only life I’ve known since being a parent. I have 3 kids and a full time job. On average, he’s gone for 6 months per year total (home for the other 6).
First, lower your standards. You know what? Some days, you’re going to feed your kid toaster waffles and you’re going to eat popcorn and yogurt for dinner. Some days your house is going to be messier than you’d like. Let it go.
Second, take a couple random Wednesdays as half days or personal days. Bring kiddo to daycare and use them to catch up on errands and general sanity.
Third, build breaks into your life. Maybe that means you go and spend a weekend with your parents or maybe they come over on a Saturday so you can have a couple hours to yourself. Make time for yourself.
If you have any other questions, just let me know.
Anonymous says
Does he miss the children?
Clementine says
Very much. The tradeoff is that when he’s home, he’s a stay at home parent who is able to be around for everything.
Anon says
I love that you answered this question without taking the troll’s bait.
Anonymous says
Sorry not trolling. It’s the first question that people would ask about a woman leaving her family for 6 months.
Anon says
It’s trolling. No one ever asks if a member of the military misses his/her children (because OF COURSE they do), and there are other jobs that require a similar travel schedule (CIA, oil rig, etc etc etc). You wanted to start a debate about whether her husband loves his kids. Not cool. Not here.
Anonymous says
Please. It’s totally trolling.
And plenty of women leave their families for extended periods. Have you not heard of military deployments? And I don’t know how you think goods get around the global if there are not people working on cargo ships captaining the long sea voyages.
In my area, tons of parents (both dads and moms though mostly dads) work rotation shifts in the oil industry. Typically 3 weeks on, 3 weeks off. It’s great role modeling for kids to have a SAHD for a few weeks who takes care of the laundry and cooking and other typically ‘female’ duties. The jobs pay well enough that sometimes the other parent is already a SAHP so the little kids have both parents full time at home for 3 weeks on a regular basis. Also popular to batch cook things like chili or lasagna for their families so the kids can feel like dad made them dinner while he’s away.
Clementine says
Honestly? It’s a question I get in person all the time. I’m not offended by it at all because it’s reasonable!
It’s a weird gig, but… it’s the price of admission to my marriage. My choice is to stay or go. I choose to stay.
Anon says
It was a rude, passive aggressive question, but the poster has a valid point that there’s a big double standard and people would be HORRIFIED if a woman spent half her life away from her kids.
Anonymous says
I used to travel for work. No, I did not miss my family one bit. And that’s OK.
Cb says
I’d talk a half day here and there where you do things that would be a pain with a baby in tow, ie. shopping, etc. Is there anything your husband can prep beforehand or handle while in quarantine (ordering food, diapers etc)? If you are comfortable with your mom coming, I’d let her, it’s less the work and more the lack of adult interaction.
NYCer says
I would have your mom come on the weekends as often as she is willing. It is really nice to be able to take a break or exercise or do nothing for a little bit on the weekends, which is of course hard to do if you are the only adult around.
Anon says
This, or if it is not more work for you, pack up the kids and go spend the weekend with your parents in the middle for both adult help and a change of scenery.
OP says
The weekends are what I’m dreading most tbh. Trying to be on parent duty, make sure we have food in the house, maybe do a load of laundry is going to be exhausting. I think I’ll have my mom come out one or two weekend days for a few hours so I can go to the store by myself or get some stuff done. Weeknights can be tricky, but bedtime is early so I will at least have downtime after that.
This is the first time he’ll be gone, but it won’t be the last. You guys are rockstars who do this regularly and have your own busy careers.
Anon says
Grocery delivery; see what is offered near you!
Pogo says
Lean in to other mom friends, no matter where they are. One of the good? things about the pandemic is I feel almost as close to my friends in LA and SF as I do with my local friends, because we exclusively catch up via text, whatsapp, insta, etc. At your LO’s age, loneliness was the hardest part of single parenting, especially if you aren’t going into the office at all and don’t really get to see other adults!
Are you in a climate with any potential weather issues? If so, learn how to use the snowblower, generator, gas stove, fire place, etc. In my house those are all DH’s job and he had to teach me how to use the snowblower over fcetime lol. Make sure you have a good baby containment system for anything like that – we used the jumper and a big playpen that he couldn’t break out of, so I knew if I had to be outside snow-blowing for 45min, he would be safe.
I’d also reach out to your neighbors so you have at least 1-2 people on call for immediate/emergency support or who you can just touch base with (“hey, do you guys have brown water too? oh the main broke down the street but they repaired it? cool” ). We’ve never had to rely on them, but both of our immediate neighbors have offered to watch the kids in a pinch if we had an emergency, which I think is critical when you have no spouse. Not to be morbid, but worst case like you are ill or have an accident, you need someone who can be there w/ LO asap – and both of our neighbors are retired so they are literally there 24/7. If you don’t have a neighbor who qualifies for this, try to find someone nearby. It helps give me a huge peace of mind when DH is gone.
Anonymous says
Don’t learn to use the snowblower. Pay someone to clear your driveway!
Anon says
I solo parent often. In addition to the advice above, plan ahead and establish routines. Have your “night before a school day” routine where you get everything ready and mentally plan the next day, have your “getting myself ready” routine and know when you do it, have your “getting kid ready” routine, your “getting out of the house” routine, etc.
But the biggest tip – don’t let your husband check out of family life while he’s gone. When my DH is away, he still actively participates in the family. Obviously he does Facetimes regularly, but that’s not nearly enough. He can create the meal plan and order grocery delivery. He can arrange for lawn mowers or snow shovelers or housecleaners and coordinate their schedules. He can check the weather and flag when I’ll need to pack snow pants or rain boots or whatever. He can do an Amazon order of household staples. He can call to schedule dr appts or do research for the next baby stage or buy birthday gifts for nieces and nephews. He can order a bunch of kid pants the next size up when they suddenly grow overnight. If I have to work late or need a break, he can find and schedule a babysitter. A lot of mental labor doesn’t have to be done in the house, and even though he’s busy, he still needs to use some of his downtime to think about his family and household just like a working woman does.
Ask your DH to think through what he can do to make your life easier, maybe using some of these as an example. He’s getting the benefit of having a family and a household, and isn’t having to arrange 24/7 childcare or household maintenance so they’re there when he comes back. It’s not too much to ask, I promise.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t ask him to do organizing and scheduling tasks unless those are normally his job while he’s at home. If these are ordinarily your tasks, it would be more hassle to delegate them than to do them yourself. I don’t buy in to the idea that the traveling partner should do household stuff on principle just to keep him involved. It actually needs to lighten the load on the partner at home. Like checking the weather–is it really easier to ask him to check the weather and tell you what to pack than it would be just to pull up the weather on your phone before you leave in the morning?
Anonymous says
If he’s in military training, will he really have time to do anything else? I’d be surprised if he even gets to call home on a regular basis.
Anon says
This is my life with spouse gone 50% of the time and my kids are 5. I got you. Plan fun things for yourself in the evening. I do a solo movie night 2x per week when he’s away. I also do one night of painting nails and toenails after a long bath. The weekends can be long and draining. I’m not sure how the pandemic is impacting your restrictions, but we can meet people outdoors. I’d absolutely arrange an outing per day on the weekend to meet other people. If your mum can come for the weekend, that would be a blessing. An adult to chat with is amazing.
Anon says
One of the challenges is you can’t go out at night to pick up milk or go for a run or whatever. If baby is a reliable sleeper and you are comfortable with this, consider asking a friend to sit with baby monitor at your door or in your house one night a week after bedtime so you can get out of the house on your own.
Knope says
I do not often solo parent for long stretches but I do cover dinnertime solo more often than not. In case helpful here are some 5 minute healthy-ish dinner ideas:
Yogurt (my fav is the Wallaby Organic no sugar added brand) + toast with nut/seed butter + fruit and/or cut up veg
Toss frozen pre-cooked chicken strips in a pan w/ spinach or whatever veggies I have on hand, stuff in pita
Annie’s mac n cheese with frozen peas thrown in
Throw beans or chicken/ground beef in a taco shell with some cut up tomatoes, lettuce and cheese
Pre-cooked turkey burger heated in toaster oven + bun + cut up fruit and veggies
Spinach quesadilla (cook spinach for a minute in the pan, take out, put in tortilla, sprinkle cheese, put spinach back in) + fruit
Avocado toast topped with peppers in the shape of a smiley face + fruit + granola
Meatball sub (Pre-cooked frozen turkey meatballs with jarred pasta sauce) + peas + fruit
Anonymous says
Everyone else has already given you good advice. My husband is in the reserves and my oldest is 4 (DS is 19months) so I’ve gone through this a lot! It depends on your financial bandwidth, but I basically have gotten to the place where I cook as little as possible. I rely on rotisserie chickens, make a soup, and do take out. Luckily your 9mo probably isn’t eating a TON so you mostly have to cook for yourself. My house is usually tidy but not deep cleaned if he’s gone for less than 2 weeks. Paper plates if possible. The weekdays are tiring but ok. Alternatively, if you don’t mind eating later you can get super yummy delivery once a week after the baby goes to bed as a treat.
As everyone said, for whatever reason weekends are a SLOG, especially with COVID. It’s just lonely. I wouldn’t hesitate to have your mom come every weekend just for an extra set of hands and company. And yes go visit their house for a Saturday night if their house is set up ok for a baby and it isn’t a hardship. Do you have any local friends you can take a masked walk with? Just having an adult to talk to helps.
OP says
Howdy from a fellow reserve spouse! He’s been doing “virtual drill” for the past year and they are starting to go back in person so this is definitely something I’m going to have to get used to. His regular weekends away don’t seem so daunting, but over a month is a lot.
Anonymous says
Lucky! Mines been doing in person drill and was mobilized for the stuff in DC. 5 weeks is the longest mine has been away, and yes, it was long!!!
Anon Lawyer says
Single mom to a 15-month-old here. My guess is that this will feel more doable than you think right now once you’re in the middle of it! My suggestions:
1) Throw money at things when you can – delivery (groceries, FOR SURE) and house cleaners are so helpful.
2) Lower your standards on house cleaning – if it’s cluttered, it’s cluttered. You’ll probably be exhausted at bedtime each day and if you can get one or two priorities done, that’s plenty. (For me it’s getting a decent meal and the kitchen, but it might be different for you). You need downtime too. Does your kid nap ok? Weekend naps are when I get the most stuff done.
3) Help from your mom is great if she’s someone who doesn’t stress you out; definitely take her up on it and don’t feel bad about it.
Anonymous says
Super late reply… but YES. Take the help your mom is offering. I would have her come say 1 week in (and stay for what works). Then plan to go visit them after week 3 (or even every weekend) depending on what the rest of your life looks like. (all assuming everyone is comfortable with covid risk)
AwayEmily says
I have some playroom questions….we half-heartedly repurposed the dining room into a playroom during the pandemic (pushed the dining room table against a wall, moved their tiny ikea table and a few toys in there) and I’m thinking about doing it more seriously. So first, any idea what height table is good for a 3yo and 5yo? Something they can use for at least 3 years, ideally. Second, is it worth putting a loveseat or comfy chair in there? I’m imagining reading the newspaper while they hang out and play. Anything else that’s been awesome in your playroom? We’ve got “stuff” storage covered; they have one shelf for toys and one stuff for art supplies, and I rotate items in and out. It’s more about setting up a space for pretend play/creating/etc.
FWIW the room is central in our house and open to our living room, and the kids play in there a fair bit already.
avocado says
We did this with our dining room. My biggest tip is not to put too much furniture in there. We had bookcases, a play table, and a play kitchen pushed up against the walls around the perimeter, with a big open space in the middle. This really seemed to encourage imaginative play, fort-building, and large-scale creation involving multiple sets of toys.
We had a standard-height play table from PB Kids. My kid was petite, but she used it comfortably up until we took the playroom down when she was in middle school. I could sit there just fine to help her with homework or a craft project.
We did not need adult-sized seating in the playroom because it was open to our living room. We never actually sat in there and watched her play, though. I was usually working in the kitchen while she was playing.
Clementine says
We have a couch in the playroom and I LOVE it. There have been a few blissful days I’ve been able to lay in there reading while the kids happily play on the floor. I would probably shop my house and see if I could move something in there until you decide what size furniture you want.
(FWIW, our playroom used to be the office and… the ability to close that door on all the toy clutter? PRICELESS.)
Anon says
I like having a couch in ours – alternatively we have two nuggets and I’ll totally lounge on those (and the kids like to too…)
Anonymous says
My vote is a nugget too. We got one in January. It’s been a game changer.
AwayEmily says
HMMMM I hadn’t really considered these but it might be a good option. They do love building things.
Mary Moo Cow says
I really want one, but my in-laws have these “foldable sleep chairs” or “tri-fold folding beds” from A-zon that are much cheaper and seem to serve the same purpose. My kids sleep on them, fold them up to make forts, stack them on top on one another, etc. Definitely eyeing these for a new, bigger playroom.
Earlier poster says
My kids LOVE them. I’d recommend as well.
Artemis says
I turned my dining room into the playroom when my first was born, and now I have three kids, so I have changed up the layout maaaaaany times.
I agree that, especially since it’s open to your living room, don’t waste space on adult furniture in there. You can sit in the living room if you want to relax near them, or you might be working in the kitchen area, and they are going to want to take up that space.
Now, my kitchen is an eat-in kitchen so we have a nice sized dining table immediately adjacent to the playroom, so the kids can do drawing, playdoh, etc. there and that’s fine.
I DO have two low train tables in my playroom because my kids are obsessed with legos and train tables with lips around the edge are the only thing that makes sense for their growing collection, so think ahead on that front if legos are an issue for you.
Try to look ahead, if you can–you say you have storage covered, but is it nice-looking for you? You will get sick of looking at primary-colored bins and toddler-friendly furniture in the middle of the house from your living room after awhile (at least, I very much did). Try to make sure the storage solutions are visually appealing to you (I recently upgraded all of our toy-room storage to mostly things that are color coordinated with the rest of my decor and that have opaque, not clear, drawers). Also, plan for expansion. If you have just enough storage right now, it will not always be enough, so try to leave room in the plan to add things in the future. I say this even as someone who has always put out a big cardboard box after Thanksgiving and told my kids they have to fill it with things they are ready to get rid of (whether broken for trash, or grown out of to donate) if they expect Santa to come!
Also, instead of getting kid chairs, I got three big round floor cushions for them to sit on, lay on, stack up, etc. and that was definitely the right route to go for my kids.
Finally, in our living room I switched out a plain accent table for one that had two shelves beneath, and that is where I moved all of the board games to make more room in the playroom storage. Board games take up a lot of otherwise valuable storage and play space so if your kids are into them, find a closet or another shelf for the board games to live.
All that said, I don’t regret giving up my dining room generally and the space looks much more appealing now that I’ve put some serious thought into it, so good luck and enjoy!
DLC says
Our playroom used to be a spare bedroom, so not exactly the same thing. We do have a Nugget in there, but no adult furniture. Honestly, the grown ups don’t spend much time in the playroom, and that’s one of our favorite things about the play room- it can be a space we send the kids to play when we need some kid free breathing room. Our kids are 9, 4 and 1. We don’t leave the baby on there alone, but the older two are often in there by themselves. Or sometimes the 9 year old takes the baby in there if I need to shower or something.
AwayEmily says
Thanks all! This is all very helpful to think about.
fallen says
would it be a terrible idea to switch my 3-year old to daycare (from nanny) in the fall? I feel like I would if it wasn’t for covid, because he needs the socialization etc and this great daycare that I really like has a spot and in a really convenient location.
however, I am worried that daycare and school (we have an 8-year old) will continue to be unreliable, so maybe we should stick with nanny for another year. we have flexibility for some days off here and there (e.g., due to illness), but would prefer to not deal with the situation that was happening with schools/daycares this year (I know my oldest had a ton of remote school).
Anonymous says
Ask the daycare how often they were closed this year for Covid-related reasons, but it’s generally been a lot more reliable than K-12 school. My daycare kid has missed far less school this year than last because there’s minimal non-Covid illness, and tge school hasn’t shut or quarantined any rooms. I think last year we had over 25 sick days (it was her first winter in daycare, which i know is always rough) and this year we’ve had two. Two!! Since early August. So reliability of care has not been an issue at all.
fallen says
thanks. i am also worried about my older daughter too, since nanny has dealt with all the school closures. but i don’t know if next year will be as bad as this one. we are also moving to what seems to be a more reliable school district , which complicates things and adds unpredictability.
Anonymous says
Ah that makes sense. In my district they tried to be open full time in person but had some closures due to staffing shortages because teachers got exposed outside school and had to quarantine. If vaccinated people don’t have to quarantine, and teachers are mostly vaccinated, hopefully that will be less of a problem by the fall? And there should hopefully be less community spread in general soon. But I understand nothing is completely predictable in this pandemic.
Katala says
FWIW, our elementary school has been open since August (option of in person or fully remote learning) and as far as I know there have been zero closures. It’s possible individual classes closed in other grades, but given that they send an email for every positive Covid case it doesn’t seem likely based on the volume of those emails. So if you’ve heard the new school is more reliable, it might be true!
Do you have the option of backup care? I have the benefit through work which is great, but you can pay for the service on your own. it’s expensive but for a day here and there it might be worth it.
Anonymous says
Could you afford to do nanny plus part-time preschool? Or maybe try a nanny share so you could add another kid? At 3 I think your child would probably enjoy being around other kids more, but the reliability of care with a nanny right now sounds wonderful.
fallen says
we thought about it. I am having such a hard time finding a good preschool in my area that is under 20-30k. I just hate the idea of paying 90k a year for childcare, it seems crazy (although it seems like what a lot of people do). but we may just do a bunch of extracurriculars (swim, etc) + nanny.
Pogo says
Do you have any church preschools or coop preschools? Nonprofit community orgs? Around here, those are all very limited hours and catered to SAHMs who want a 1-2 hr break a few times a week and they are VERY affordable (like $300 a month). They provide minimal childcare coverage, they’re just about socialization.
Anonymous says
+1. Church preschool would be my suggestion too if you want cheap socialization. The one in my neighborhood is $200 *a month*. I pay $300 a week for my fancy full time daycare/preschool.
Mary Moo Cow says
Hear hear on the church preschools. I pay $195/week for my 3 yo, full time. It’s not our faith, but they accept all faiths.
Anon says
Are you looking at church part-time preschools? I’m in NOVA (so very HCOL) and our preschool for 3x a week from 9am to 12pm is $325 per month, which is on par with other church preschools I’ve looked at. Even if you are not religious, I think church preschools run the gamut on how much religion they put into their teaching so if you are flexible on that point, something to consider. It’s all SAHMs (DH is one of two SAHDs, sigh) or grandparents or nannies doing drop off and pick-up, so not so much in the dual working parent crowd.
avocado says
Our lovely school district has come up with yet another way to avoid teaching. We now have “flexible learning days” on which all kids, both in-person and on-line, stay home and work on non-credit assignments such as “read a book” or “look at a website.” This allows them to hold teacher meetings and training without losing required instructional days. Best of all, this is not just a pandemic thing; there will be several “flexible learning days” each year in perpetuity. Fortunately, my kid is old enough to leave home alone, but I am angry on behalf of all parents of younger kids who will now have to take even more days off of work to supervise their kids on flexible learning days. I am also angry that this will cost us a week of actual instructional time each year. They already quit teaching new material in March to start reviewing for the state tests, so losing another week is really quite a blow.
Cb says
Oh gosh, I could see a readathon in the school gym (in non-covid times obviously) but when kids have already missed so much actual school?
Anon says
My school district already has several “in service days” per year. I didn’t realize this was new to other districts.
avocado says
We already had several “teacher workdays” where kids were off and teachers worked. This is on top of those days and is being counted as instructional time when clearly it is not.
Anonymous says
Eh I actually think this kind of a nice idea. There’s plenty of time to drill multiplication tables and the like and I think it’s not a bad idea to give kids time to foster independent interests that might be a little off the beaten path. I get the point that it’s inconvenient for working parents (although not as much if it just replaces the existing teacher workdays), but I don’t think it’s harmful for the kids.
Anon says
As a parent of a younger kid who is coincidentally home today with the only assignment being “read a book and write for 15 minutes” it’s just a wasted day. We have had way more of these this year and I’m tired of it!
Anonymous says
There’s no reason that they can’t do that in school. Have a day where kids can pick what to read/draw/paint/free time in gym class/go for a walk to a nearby park and have free time there and draw/write/read about what they saw at the park when they got home. Teachers should be able to facilitate both independent learning and planned lessons. They are the professionals, not parents.
Anonymous says
That’s fair. I was responding more to OP saying it would cost them a week of instructional time. I realize high school is different but at the elementary level I’m a big believer in taking academic pressure off kids and giving them more time to play, imagine and discover.
avocado says
Time to play, imagine, and discover is very different from time stuck at home with a parent who is desperately trying to WFH because she has already run out of PTO covering snow days, hurricane days, ice-on-the-road somewhere in the county days, teacher in-service days, other random days off, and half-days.
In high school, they need to cover certain material to prep for AP and IB exams. We don’t start until after Labor Day, so they’re already three or four weeks behind for exams that are administered in May.
avocado says
And it just seems like a financial scam. Telling the state you are teaching on days when you aren’t so you can get full funding.
SC says
There’s really not plenty of time to drill multiplication tables. I took some education courses in undergrad, thinking I might want to be a teacher, and we had to observe some of the local schools. These schools were in wealthy suburbs of a SEUS city. We had a required number of observation hours, and I remember doing my entire presentation on how I didn’t get the required number of hours because, despite my showing up at the school at agreed-upon times, these kids had SO many disruptions to actual instruction. There were constant breaks for things like teacher workdays, drug education programs, motivational speakers, testing, etc. No one program was a bad thing, and I’m sure they were well-intentioned, but it added up to so much time out of the classroom. This was circa 2005, and I’ve heard from teachers that it’s only gotten worse. Now, school districts are trying to add instructional time by cutting PE and recess or, apparently, coming up with ways to label time where kids aren’t being directly taught as “instructional.”
Anon says
Our district has been like this on Fridays all year. The teachers assign some independent work but it’s not really “due” and my kid mostly skips it. For my kindergartener it’s been really nice, and he’s easier to supervise when I can just let him play rather than worrying about logins and completing assignments. The teachers also badly need extra time to train and plan this year so I don’t mind
Anonymous says
Yes, our district (all virtual) has been doing this on Wednesdays all year. Officially they are asynchronous learning days. I’m sure all teachers handle them differently, but it seems unusual to assign graded work on a Wednesday. It’s planning time for the teachers, catch-up time for the students, and a zoom/mental health break for all, esp since the district saw failing grades massively spike early in the school year and decided to ease up on workloads.
With all due respect to teachers who are trying their best, it’s a little disingenuous to call a lot of this year’s virtual schooling “instructional” time. I don’t think this is any more egregious than the rest.
Cb says
Kids are so fickle! I posted on Tuesday about concerns that my 3.5 year old doesn’t seem to play with other kids (confirmed by nursery teacher). Yesterday, I picked him up and asked about his day expecting to hear about what he and the teachers did (he and two teachers apparently had a poetry slam session the day before, potty can rhyme with so many things) . Instead he told me about how he and 2 other kids sheltered in the playhouse from the rain without a teacher and then when the rain stopped, they built a sandcastle in the sandpit together.
He also has been refusing to cuddle my husband lately, but now that my husband is self-isolating ahead of surgery, he’s calling for daddy and demanding cuddles.
Anonymous says
I love the idea of a preschool poetry slam so. so. much.
But yes, kid moods are like the weather (well, at least the weather in the DMV). Wait a little bit, and they will change.
Cb says
If you keep sitting on the potty, your botty will get dotty and spotty. Some really sophisticated stuff.
Anonymous says
Amazing!
Pogo says
Aw, that’s so sweet! Mine also would report back that he had no friends, though the teachers assured me he was playing with others. He has started telling us that he did things with friends, though, which warms my heart.
TheElms says
Has anyone tried Cook Unity? (Its a meal delivery service).
Pogo says
I posted about it the other day (maybe that’s why youre asking haha). So far so good – I guess I’ll have to see if the options change or if it gets boring but right now I’m loving it. Caveat that we still give my preschooler a separate meal, but that would likely be the case anyway.
TheElms says
I missed that post – I’ve never had much success with searching this particular site. Glad you are liking it!
anon says
I responded on the main site, but I’ll add here that I also feed my preschoolers separate meals — just simple kid food. What I like about Cook Unity is that my spouse and I don’t have to eat what the kids eat or even the same food as each other!
TheElms says
I’ll probably try to feed my toddler some of our meals (and of course there will be varying success) because I find it easier and I’m ok with her not eating it. She eats plenty over the course of the day and we do a kid friendly bed time snack as part of our regular routine, but I know not everyone has a kid like that. I do like the idea that I could eat something different than my husband though!
Pogo says
It didn’t even occur to me the first week, I just ordered 2 of each meal. And now I’m like wait… we can have whatever we want!
zzzzzzz says
I’m sleep training my 7 month old and it’s just – not working. He falls asleep on his own at night now, but he still is waking up 3 or so times in the middle of the night. My husband has been working until the middle of the night himself so the wake-ups are falling on me and it’s killing me. He’s still in our room and we don’t have a good option other than to keep him there or move him in with his toddler brother, which seems like a horrible idea.
I know people are not keen on Taking Cara Babies lately, but is it worth trying? Is there an alternative? Help!
Anonymous says
Is he teething? Have to tried advil?
Increase his solids? Waking at night was often a sign that we need to offer more solid food. By 7-8 months we did 3 ‘meals’ and 3 ‘snacks’ – not eating a ton at each one but noticeable more wakeful when getting less solids.
zzzzzzz says
He is teething and we tried Motrin but it didn’t seem to make a difference. More solids is a good idea, I will try that. Thank you!
Anonymous says
Tylenol worked better than Motrin for my kid. It has anti-anxiety properties that help with sleep. I know babies aren’t “anxious” in the classic sense, but it’s general calming effect is still helpful. Also consider supplementing with formula if he isn’t a good solids eater. My kid needed more calories at that age but didn’t take to solids so we used formula.
Anonymous says
I have always said that Advil dulls the pain and Tylenol just makes you care less about it.
Anonymous says
Tylenol actually does both for me, but everyone’s body resonated differently.
Anonymous says
Motrin/Advil lasts longer but always made my kids more wakeful. Tylenol at night (sometimes with a second dose overnight, and Motrin/Advil for daytime.
Anon says
Motrin addresses inflammation better than tylenol, so that’s why it’s recommended for teething pain
Anonymous says
You can also do both at the same time (according to my ped).
Scilady says
Alternative to Taking Cara Babies try Precious Little Sleep. Very similar idea, and the Kindle book was on sale for $5 at Ama$on yesterday. She also has an Instagram account/ Facebook group, although not as cutesy as TCB. Definitely worth a shot. She does advocate some “Fuss It Out” – more sleep training, but I would read through the book and form your opinions. You might also see if he is teething and you want to pre-emptively give pain medicine or if he’s on the cusp of learning something new – always results in sleep challenges!
Anonymous says
And Precious Little Sleep is openly progressive, in contrast to MAGA TCB.
AwayEmily says
It’s REALLY hard to sleep train when you’re in the same room with them because they know you’re there and so the crying escalates. Can you move him into another room, or put an air mattress for you and your husband in the living room for a few days?
In terms of sleep help, I love the book The Good Sleeper by Janet Kennedy. It’s much cheaper than a $$ sleep course and has most of what you need. It also has a range of options depending on how comfortable you are with CIO.
Anonymous says
+1, you have to not be in the room. So yeh either you and DH temporarily move to living room, or toddler moves into your room for a few nights.
Anon says
My kid would wake up at that age from hunger. He was a frequent, light eater and I couldn’t find a way around it. Eventually around 10-11 months he ate more during the day and sleep training worked, although we still sometimes have to feed him a 2 am banana at 18m.
For what it’s worth, all the sleep training resources I’ve read have had similar advice and taking cara babies wasn’t unique.
Pogo says
fwiw, Taking Cara Babies (ABCs of sleep) is just Ferber with specific directions for the intervals. I think you get just check the book out of the library and read a few blogs to come up with your own plan for free.
This sounds terrible but do you have a closet he can be in? Sleep training in the same room sounds impossible.
With 3 wakeups, I’d pick the two most consistent ones and respond to those with a timed nursing session and start reducing the time. Ignore the other wakeup completely (full CIO). Per above, I think this would be really hard to do if baby is in your room.
Anonymous says
Yes, closet. Or bathroom. You just can’t sleep train in the same room. My preschooler happily slept in bathrooms whenever we traveled until she turned 2 (and she’d probably still be doing it but for the pandemic).
Anonymous says
Try nursing at the first wake up if it’s more than 3-4 hours after bedtime. If it is hunger, the repeated wake ups may end if you take the edge off the hunger.
AnonATL says
Agree with the other posters. Sleep training in your room sounds really tough. Put him in a walk in closet, large bathroom, or maybe other room for a few days till you can get trained (assuming you have a space). I’ve also seen people suggest putting up a temporary curtain around the sleep area in your room so baby feels like they are in their own space.
When we were initially sleep training, I would plan for 1 overnight feed and all other wakes my husband would go in, or maybe in your case you let him CIO then. My son night weaned himself pretty quickly once we ferbered. He was also eating pretty much the max suggested of formula during the day so I had a strong feeling he wasn’t waking for hunger.
When he wakes up at night, is he full on wailing or just whimpering/fussing/babbling? If he isn’t at max cry, leave him for a bit to see if he can self soothe.
GCA says
I have never had great sleepers, but every time there was a mental or physical growth spurt, sleep went completely to pot. the 6-8mo period was h*ll because they were just about to crawl/ pull up around then! Not an answer to your question, but may explain the multiple wakeups.
Also, don’t rule out rooming the kids together. If older brother is a sound sleeper, he may be able to sleep through a surprising amount. We were in a 1br apartment till kid 2 was past 1, and kid 1 slept clean through many, many nights of his little sister’s crying.
Katala says
I wouldn’t necessarily dismiss moving him in with the toddler. My older kid sleeps like a rock and did not wake up when his baby brother cried/we went in. Baby was a little older when we moved them in together, but I think it would have worked OK earlier. May be worth a shot.
Anon says
+1. Moved my at the time 3 month old in with my at the time 2 year old. Was not a problem for the 2 year old. BUT that being said we were one of the lucky ones that didn’t have to do a whole crying -it-out thing. But baby did normal multiple crying wakes (that I would then go in and feed etc. for) for the first several months they were together with no issue.
Katarina says
This isn’t really parenting related, but I have been dealing with a breast tumor. At each stage, the doctor downplays the risk, but escalates, and each stage takes longer. My ob/gyn found a breast lump at my annual appointment. It is pretty large, I can easily feel it now, but I was not really looking for lumps, because I had only weaned about three months previously, and I was used to having lumpy breasts. She sent me to for a mammogram and ultrasound, but thought it was probably nothing, a clogged milk duct or a cyst, especially because of my recent breastfeeding. She said they would tell me the good news right away.
I was able to schedule the mammogram and ultrasound for two days later. After those, the radiologist came in, and said I needed a biopsy. When I started crying, she asked if I was upset about the biopsy or the possibility of cancer. When I said it was the cancer, she said she thought there was a 98% chance that it is not cancer, given my age (41) and recent breastfeeding, and she only wanted the biopsy because it is so big (3.3 cm).
I schedule the biopsy for the soonest available, which was a week later. The procedure was no big deal, and I was only slightly sore. I was supposed to get the results in three business days, but they were significantly delayed by the snowstorm and cold weather here in Texas. At least the cold indoor temperatures, worry about my children, and cleaning up from the burst pipe distracted me from the biopsy results. I got the results after a week and a half, and it was benign but high risk, and that I should make an appointment with a breast surgeon. In my daze from being happy it was not malignant, but still worried about the “high risk” classification, I forgot to ask what exactly the results were.
I made an appointment with the PA at the breast surgeon’s office for three days later. She gave me the detailed results, and was generally reassuring. The biopsy indicated that it was either a fibroadenoma or a benign phyllodes tumor. The PA said that a fibroadenoma basically does not change my lifetime risk of breast cancer, at worse increases it by 1.5 times, but probably less than that, but that the phyllodes tumor has a risk of local recurrence. I scheduled the lumpectomy for slightly more than three weeks out (two weeks now). The pathology report from the whole tumor should be conclusive, but it will be 7-10 days after the surgery.
The waiting is killing me. I also did some research on phyllodes tumors, which was not very reassuring. Phyllodes tumors can be benign, borderline, or malignant, and even benign phyllodes tumors have been known to metastasize. The prognosis of phyllodes tumors that metastasize is “dismal.” Phyllodes tumors are so rare that all of the studies are retrospective (aka see what happened after the fact) and mostly covering a very low number of cases. For example, one study had a 100% survival rate for benign phyllodes tumors, but only had eight cases. The worst statistic I saw was a 96% survival rate for benign phyllodes tumors. It does seem like some of the bad outcomes were caused by insufficient margins from removal, because they are so hard to diagnose in advance.
Anonymous says
This sounds incredibly stressful but not necessarily inappropriate care. You’ve unfortunately had bad luck that the mammography required a biopsy and the biopsy result requires surgery. The timelines sound pretty standard for cancer screening and care. Have you thought of asking your GP for referral to a therapist who specializes in medical related issues? That may provide you with some helpful coping strategies for the stressful waiting periods ahead.
Please update to let us know how it all goes as well.
Katarina says
I agree that my care has not been inappropriate, and they are trying to reduce stress. I tried to find an online therapist through my EAP, but she tried to schedule me for 6 pm on a Sunday, and not suggested something else.
Anonymous says
I understand why you’re anxious, but 96% survival rate does not sound dismal to me. I hope the doctor can give you more reassuring news soon.
Anonymous says
And the waiting – while stressful – is a good sign. When the diagnosis is concerning, doctors normally find a way to speed up the treatment.
Anon says
I agree completely—waiting is stressful and unpleasant, but so much better than being top priority. I have such trouble waiting, but after seeing what kinds of conditions get priority, I actually prefer waiting. It means that my condition isn’t so concerning.
Katarina says
“Dismal” was for metastisized phyllodes tumors, which have a 0% survival rate.
anon for this says
I know this is super stressful, but I used to work in breast imaging/cancer research and a phyllodes tumor was always classified as benign and not indicative of cancer. I don’t know about the stats on life time risk that you state but my guess is they may be more correlation than causation. The size is also not indicative of malignancy – in fact, most large lumps are lipomas or cysts.
Second, even if you had something malignant – which is way more common than people realize – imaging is so improved that detection often happens early enough to prevent any complications. Everyone I have known with a DCIS has recovered fully, including someone who had one found at like age 40.
I would try to see an oncologist if you can to get more details/stats/reassurance.
Anonymous says
I had a fibroadenoma and I did feel so totally consumed by it and worried leading up to the surgery that I broke out in hives all over my body. It’s normal to be scared and freaked out, but you will get through this. Take it one day at a time and try not to go through every possibility or potential bad thing until some new information gives you a reason to. It’s good they caught it, they’re removing it, and you’ll have more information very soon. Hang in there!
Anon says
We hired a new cleaning service and they sent a team of 6 people. Would that give you pause from a Covid safety perspective? They wear masks and are here for a much shorter time (~1 hr) but the odds one of them is infected is obviously a lot higher vs having just one person clean our house for 6 hours. We stay in the basement while they’re here, but go back into our main living areas as soon as they leave. Opening the windows isn’t really an option right now (the high today in my area is in the 30s).
Anon says
That would give me pause. One of the reasons we like our new team is that it is the same two people every week (who also wear masks). Maybe it was just the initial clean and it will be fewer people next time? We also have a house filled with air purifiers for allergy reasons, which gives me some comfort on the aerosols too. We generally stay on an opposite floor or in the home office while the team of two is here.
Anonymous says
I have a similar service and we do the same thing. Having one person in the house for 6 hours just seems really challenging in terms of staying distanced. When they finish, DH or I pop up and open all the windows and wipe down the high touch surfaces (taps, door handles light switches) with a lysol wipe. This probably isn’t necessary but makes me feel better. We also open the windows/front door/back door for about 20 minutes before having everyone come up. In Canada so temp can easily be below 30s. Everything open for a short time doesn’t cool the house substantially.
Anonymous says
Eh yes, but you’re pretty unlikely to get covid from a masked housecleaner in any case. If they’re only there for an hour, you can realistically stay separate from them the entire time, and that sounds much better than trying to stay out of the way of a smaller team for a longer time. It’s not impossible to get covid from subsequently walking through a room where a masked, infected person was working for 30 minutes, but it’s also not something I would worry much about.