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I love a fun graphic tee — it’s such a fun way for me (and now my kids) to show some personality.
These tees from Mightly do just that. They’re on my back-to-school shopping list — they come in a two-pack and are made from fair trade, organic cotton. I’m particularly drawn to the bright, bold colors and crisp designs. (I especially love “In the Band,” featuring a guitar sketch.) My kids will like the itch-free labels and soft fabric.
They’re also gender-neutral, so when my daughter outgrows them, they can go right to my son.
A pack of two shirts is $29.95, and they’re available in sizes 2T to XX-Large (14) depending on the design.
Sales of note for 12.5.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Holiday sale up to 50% off; 5x the points on beauty for a limited time
- Ann Taylor – 40% off your purchase & extra 15% off sweaters
- Banana Republic – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 40% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything & extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – Extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase with code
- Lands’ End – Up to 70% off everything; free shipping (readers love the cashmere)
- Loft – 50% off your purchase with code (ends 12/5)
- Summersalt – Up to 60% off select styles & free scarf with orders $125+ (this reader-favorite sweater blazer is down to $75)
- Talbots – 40% off your regular-price purchase; extra 50% off all markdowns
- Zappos – 34,000+ women’s sale items! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- Crate&kids – Free shipping sitewide; up to 50% off toy + gift event; free monogramming for a limited time only (order by 12/15)
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off your purchase with code
- Pottery Barn Kids – Up to 50% off toys, furniture & gifts
- Graco – Holiday savings up to 35% off; sign up for texts for 20% off full-price item
- Walmart – Up to 25% off top baby gifts; big savings on Delta, Graco, VTech, Fisher-Price & more
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Leatty says
My niece is starting kindergarten next month after moving to a new state, and I’d like to send her something small to help make the day special. Any ideas? I’m not the most creative, so I may just have my kids write her a card and send some cookies.
JL says
Seems like a lot of the kiddos are attaching key chains to their backpacks these days. Maybe something fun she can put on her school bag?
anon says
Seconding a keychain. I’d go for one with her name on it, unless you find that to be a safety concern.
Anonymous says
Any thoughts on choosing a house in Upper Northwest DC versus Silver Spring/Takoma Park, MD? In DC, we’re considering Shepherd Park, 16th St. Heights, Takoma, and Brightwood. We’re coming from a small condo downtown, with 1 toddler. Thanks for any advice!
Anonymous says
We live on the DC side of Takoma and love it. Free Pre-K. Access to wonderful parks, restaurants, grocery stores, and the sweetest neighborhood library. Neighborhood is quiet, residential, and friendly. Lots of young families. Great neighborhood schools (with the standard DCPS grain of salt). Come on over!
FWIW, several friends live in Silver Spring and enjoy their neighbors. None have school age children yet, so can’t speak to that.
TheElms says
Check out the schools you’d be zoned for at each particular house. Shepherd Park Elementary is well liked but I’m not sure about any of the others. Also part of that area of NW DC currently feeds into Alice Deal for MS and Wilson for HS but I don’t think that is a guarantee for the future with the overcrowding at Wilson. Make sure you’re comfortable with the alternate schools if the feeder plans change. I’m less familiar with the MD schools but there are several MD mom FB groups where you could ask to get general impressions of each schools strengths and weaknesses.
Anonymous says
I live in Silver Spring and love it. My oldest is 8, and we’ve been here since pre-kids, first in a downtown apartment, now in a single family home in one of the close-in neighborhoods, but I have never lived in DC, so can’t compare directly. I love my neighbors, all the local parks, the ethnically and economically diverse elementary school, and the “vibrant” downtown area that has a decent mix of chain and independent shops & restaurants. It’s a little more suburban feeling than you would get in Takoma or DC, but there’s still a lot to do and it’s easy to get everywhere; we bike to the downtown area all the time, and public transit access and access to commuter routes are both good, although I haven’t used either much in the last couple years for obvious reasons.
We have daycare friends in several of the elementary schools and people seem to uniformly like their school, like the aftercare programs, etc. My neighbors with older kids are happy with the middle and high schools as well.
Anonymous says
A lot depends on your budget and school preferences, and whether you’re interested in moving again later or not depending on how happy you are with middle/high school choices. I would seriously factor in how far is the walk to the metro as well. We were looking at a similar comparison (a couple years before dc opened free preschool) and landed on the Md side of Takoma Park vs shepherd park/dc Takoma but looked at houses on both sides. While we were technically walking distance to the metro it really made my commute unworkable for our lives to be adding a 15-20 min walk on top of a 23 min metro ride. That could be less if an issue if you have a higher budget.
Anonymous says
Also, a thought: post on the DCUrbanMoMs site under Real Estate and/or respective school district fora.
Anonymous says
Thanks!
Nanny Vetting says
We found a nanny (THANK GOD!) from our local FB parent’s group. She’s wonderful, glowing references from local families. We’ve spent sufficient time with her and our daughter that we’re feeling very good about it. I have a copy of her driver’s license, car insurance proof of payment/current status and vaccination card.
What other diligence should I be doing, if any? I know Care.com does background checks and what not but I didn’t source her through there so don’t have the benefit of that. Is what we have enough or is there something else that I’m not aware of?
Anonymous says
Enjoy your nanny
Realist says
You could still get a formal background check but I would probably just Google her name, search local court records, and pull her driving record if she will be driving the kids. The references from local families are the most important, I think, so you already have that piece.
OP says
This is where I am but a (generally nervous nelly) friend inquired about background checks and I was caught flat footed. First time doing this so didn’t want to be ignorant to something I should obviously be doing or if that was just a step beyond necessary given what I have in hand. We’ve done all the googling and feel quite comfortable with her. I think we just enjoy our new nanny and move along. Thank you!
Anon says
Get a formal background check. Seriously, they’re not that expensive and it’s insane what’s in peoples’ pasts. I had an awesome nanny candidate who wound up having a history of being on house arrest for check fraud.
OP says
Ha, ok maybe I eat my words from above. If we do this, where and how? Do you have an online vendor to recommend? A simple google turns up a whole lot of crazy.
Anon says
I think we used ENannySource. It was a couple of years ago though.
anon says
I’m in California, so I use Trustline, the state’s background check system for caregivers (free to families, nanny pays once to be printed—obviously, the family would pay if she hadn’t been printed before). I might supplement if nanny has spent significant time out of state or if nanny was going to be driving my kid.
I would also call my insurance agent about workers’ comp, non-owned vehicle insurance, etc.
Mommasgottasleep says
I have foster kids so I’m probably overly paranoid but I simply would not hire someone to watch my children without doing a formal background check on them. It’s easy and inexpensive.
fallen625 says
I also think it wouldn’t hurt to get a background check. I think Park Slope parents had some good links. Also, maybe google the references to make sure they are real people / not her friends? But overall she sounds great!
Anonymous says
I have had to get background checks for multiple volunteer opportunities and work projects. Totally not a big deal. You can certainly require one for your nanny.
Name anon says
What’s the most diplomatic way to approach my child’s daycare teaching who is pronouncing her name incorrectly? We are 3 days in with a new teacher and I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot, but every approach I run through in my head seems like I would come across as patronizing or condescending if I corrected her. My child’s name is pronounced exactly as it is spelled and is common enough, but the teacher says a similar but different name when referring to her. Think Laurel vs. Lauren or Emma vs. Ella. Child’s name is clearly labeled on every item and I have been dropping child’s name multiple times in every conversation with teacher over the past couple of days in an attempt to subtly relay my message and the need to pronounce her name correctly, but it hasn’t worked. Child is too young to correct teacher herself.
Anon says
when dropping child off, if teacher says “Hi Laurel.” You just kindly say “actually it’s Lauren, not Laurel. Hope everyone has a great day” Teacher likely knows someone else with the name they are using or previously had a kid with the other name.
Anonymous says
“Actually, her name is Lauren, not Laurel.” Stop fluffing about trying to be delicate and just tell her!
NYCer says
+1. Just say it. It is not patronizing or condescending to tell a teacher she is calling your child the wrong name.
No Face says
Yeah, definitely just tell her. The longer you wait, the weirder it’ll be.
ElisaR says
agree
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 million. Take it from someone who has parents from India and a 3 syllable name that’s not Jennifer. Once you spend time regularly teaching people to pronounce your name it’s not something you think twice about, and certainly is not offensive. Most people want to say things right!
Anon. says
I avoid confrontation, so I would mention it to the director and have her deal with the awkward. “Hey, I noticed that teacher keeps calling Laurel, Lauren instead. Could you mention it to her if you hear her say it?”
But candidly, as I typed that out I changed my mind. It’ll be 30 seconds of awkward but you’re only on day 3 so not like it’s been months or something. Just correct her politely and directly the next time she does it. T: Laurel had a great day. m: It’s actually Lauren with an N. I am so glad to hear she’s adjusting. What do you think might be causing the diaper rash?
Anonymous says
Wow no this is not cool. Way way unacceptable to report someone to her boss instead of putting your big girl pants on and at least mentioning it to the teacher.
It’s not awkward.
ElisaR says
yeah, be a grown up.
Anonymous says
Yep, not awkward at all and it doesn’t have to be unfriendly either. “Actually, it’s Lauren. No, that’s okay! We know a few Laurels ourselves and it can be tricky.”
Anon says
Uh, don’t do this.
Anon says
This impulse is interesting because it exposes a common habit that is incredibly counterprove. People who “hate confrontation” usually just hate being communicative and end up creating more confrontation by being roundabout/passive-aggressive/sneaky. Going to the teachers boss would be soooooo much more confrontational than just correcting the teacher in the moment. It would create drama and an even more awkward relationship with the teacher going forward. I know yo said you wouldn’t take that route going forward – so this isn’t a dig at you. It’s just something I noticed. TL;DR “I hate conflict” is usually code for ‘I am passive-aggressive”
Anonymous says
Yeah if you call this confrontation then it’s unacceptable to be nonconfrontational.
Anon says
Compliment sandwiches are made for stuff like this. Maybe it’s an open-face compliment sandwich?
“Hi Laurel!”
“Actually, her name is Lauren with an N.”
“I’m so sorry!”
“Don’t worry about it! Everyone here is so great and we love how much you all enjoy the kids and everything you do for them!”
OP says
Thank you all for your reality check! I don’t know why I overthink these things, time to put my adult pants on.
Anonymous says
Good for you! Also remember that it’s way more awkward for all concerned to let the teacher keep calling your child by the wrong name than to correct it up front. Can you imagine how mortified the poor teacher would be if she discovered her mistake weeks or months from now?
Spirograph says
My daughter has a name like this. Agree with others, just correct her in the moment, and don’t belabor it. This is not a big deal.
“Good morning, Laurel!”
“It’s Lauren” *smile*
“Oh, sorry! Good morning, Lauren”
“no worries, it’s an easy mistake to make with so many similar names.”
[move on to the rest of the conversation]
anon says
I just took care of this very issue! I emailed K teacher (have no chance to see in person bc of covid) and very kindly told her we were so happy to have kid in her class and then corrected pronounciation. She was super nice about it! Just do it!
EB says
I don’t want to pile on, but wanted to add this comment no one else has said yet – my last name is not pronounced the way it is spelled, and although it bothers me zero percent when people who don’t know me say it in what is the phonetically correct way, I sometimes correct them even if it doesn’t matter, if my kids are around. I want to teach my kids that it’s no big deal to say, “Actually it’s ___” and then move on to something else. Our kids take their cues from us, and I want my cue in this scenario to be – it’s not a big deal at all and it’s ok to tell someone if they get your name wrong so they can get it right next time.
Anon says
if your child’s class is closed due to a covid exposure, even if your child tests negative on day 3, please do not take your child to eat inside a bagel shop during the quarantine period and if you are going to do so, at least don’t post it on instagram (and we all wonder why we are still in the middle of this mess)
Anonymous says
This type of anger and judgment is so toxic.
Anon says
OP’s post is not judgmental, it sounds like a frustrated vent about how people do not follow the school’s policies. I’d be pissed too if someone did that at my kid’s school. It defeats the whole purpose of having good public health measures in place.
Anonymous says
People are never going to be perfect. I don’t think dwelling on it helps.
Anon says
Hope you’re ready to empty the prisons with this line of thinking
Anonymous says
Lol what even?
Bagel Magel says
IMO, what is toxic is knowingly exposing the public to a virus that could kill or hospitalize someone because you couldn’t drive-through a bagel.
Anonymous says
Sure yes you’re absolutely right. But must we daily have complaints on here about other people not being perfect? It’s just so negative and unhelpful.
Anon says
people come on this board to complain about things all the time. that’s the beauty of an anonymous board. no one is forcing you to read the post or comment on it multiple times. also this is not about being perfect vs. imperfect. eating indoors at a restaurant is like the opposite of quarantining. being imperfect sounds more like you take your kid to an empty playground and then another kid shows up as opposed to going some place where you will be unmasked and you know that there will be other people.
Anonymous says
Hi, welcome to the internet where people complain about all kinds of stuff all day long.
You can just collapse the comments and scroll on.
Anonymous says
I found it a helpful reminder to think before I post on Instagram!
Anonymous says
Hopefully also before breaking quarantine!
Anon says
This type of reality denial is why we’re still doing this. I don’t see why you don’t get that.
If your quarantined, you’re quarantined. Deciding that the rules don’t apply to you is: spoiled, entitled, sociopathic depending on the seriousness of the situation. Flaunting your rule breaking during a pandemic puts someone on the tippy-top of entitled.
But it’s clear you would would do the same, otherwise you’d roll your eyes and not comment. But you don’t want people to be mad at you.
Anonymous says
Nope. I’m very cautious. But spending my time judging other people about this stuff is just upsetting. I don’t blame individuals for where we are.
IHeartBacon says
There is no one else to blame but individuals… and one individual in particular who was at the top in 2020.
Anon says
You’re blaming OP.
You care more about her anger and frustration (which will never, ever kill anyone) than you care about actually risky behavior.
Hypocrite.
Anonymous says
Lol
Anonymous says
Individual choices add up to big problems. Especially since government at every level has decided that getting the pandemic under control is a matter of individual responsibility.
Anonymous says
Nah, disagree. Spending 15 seconds typing out a vent on an anonymous board where anyone who is not interested can collapse the thread is the LEAST toxic way to express anger at a situation that is very messed up. Women’s anger is always, ALWAYS policed.
Spirograph says
I am in collapse-the-thread mode with everything covid, but I agree with this so hard. Thank you
Anonymous says
Yup.
Meh says
Disagreed. I am tired of the rants about people making different covid choices generally, but this is not a question of personal choice. The kid is supposed to be quarantined and instead they are out in public. This is not a “oh my gosh my neighbors kids are playing soccer” post.
Anonymous says
Yeah, this isn’t a different choice based on risk preferences. It is a straight-up violation of the quarantine protocol after a confirmed exposure.
Nan says
If the post was “omg, someone took their unvaccinated kid into a bagel shop!” I’d agree with you. But this is a kid who is supposed to be quarantined. It’s not a question of personal risk tolerance.
Anon says
How many days do you think it would take to train the nanny on the baby’s routine and learning the ins and outs of the house (ie baby laundry; dishwasher for bottles and pump parts)? Just trying to figure out my return date from leave depending if it takes a couple days or if I should spend a week with her.
Anonymous says
Like half a day
Annanana says
We just did this, granted I’m still wfh, but a morning is enough, a day is plenty and week is way too long.
You could do a morning where you are around, leave for a few hours in afternoon to give them some qt before leaving for the full day the next day.
Anon says
An hour or two? Baby’s routine will change pretty rapidly, and the nanny’s routine may not be yours exactly. Do people spend a week training a nanny?
Spirograph says
I think you should not try to dictate your baby’s routine to the nanny too strictly. She’s the one who will be managing this day-to-day, and you should let her establish her own rhythm that works for her. I’d do a walk through, not a transition period, but if you will be more comfortable watching her interactions at the beginning, maybe a day or two. If she has questions, she’ll figure it out or ask when you get home (or call/text you during the day, but I discouraged that hard).
“Baby normally eats at [times] , naps at about [times], here are my preferences about laundry and dishes and here’s where we store the stuff. OK, see you when I get home!”
ElisaR says
couple of days should be fine. 2? 1? not a whole week.
SC says
Half a day. But our nanny started the last week of my maternity leave, and it was nice to have a transition week. I can’t remember if she was just ready to start before I had to return to work, or if I wanted a week to get things done. Mostly, I did stuff to get ready to return to work–I packed up maternity clothes, set up my closet, bought some new clothes, made some freezer meals. But I also remember chatting with our nanny while I nursed the baby on the couch, so there were definitely times I was present and taking care of the baby while she was there that week.
OP says
Thanks all! Sounds like a day is more than enough. I guess I was also thinking it’d be nice to have a few days to transition back to work (i.e. me time) while I was “training” but I also would be taking unpaid leave to do so. I should just get my a$$ back to work. :)
Anonymous says
What does the nanny have to say about it? If I were the nanny I’d be uncomfortable with the parents hovering around the house for more than a couple of hours.
OP says
Good point. She actually seemed fine with a week when we first mentioned it but I’m sure she’d be happier to just have only a day of training instead.
No Face says
I went back and forth about nanny vs daycare for my toddler and chose daycare. My oldest is in school and after care. Husband works outside the home.
BEING AT HOME ALL DAY BY MYSELF IS AMAZING. It is so quiet. My husband runs the dishwasher once at night, instead of multiple loads a day. I can play explicit music as loud as a I want. I can work anywhere in the house without interfering with play time.
Anonymous says
This sounds like bliss. I could handle WFH just fine if my husband and kid weren’t here. Kid is going back to school soon, but husband’s company is WFH for the foreseeable future and I am going to lose my mind.
Anon says
Another question about nursery furniture, sorry!
I want to have a comfy corner where we can sit and read to LO. I have my eye on some floating display shelves, but I’m drawing a blank on seating or what else will support function and coziness. Anyone have recommendations? TIA!
Anonymous says
A chair? Like. Just a comfy armchair.
JL says
Agree. If you have a rocker in there, I think you’ll want to use that for a while. It is easier until kiddo can sit up. At that point, maybe some floor pillows or a lush rug with some pillows.
Anon says
Buy a nursery glider or repurpose an old rocking chair from around your house. Do not try to find a chair that will last past your kids’ infant days and do not worry about something that will look good in your living room later. Also, do not worry if the furniture is cheapish and will only last 3-5 years. Make sure it is waterproof/stain resistant or is something you can cover with a blanket. I have the Babyletto Toco Glider with Ottoman and like it a lot. You can use a registry discount and various coupons to get it cheaper from Target.
Signed,
Someone whose baby has reflux and now thinks it’s hilarious I thought I would want to use this chair post-baby
Anonymous says
Very good advice. I also have a babyletto glider that has held up amazingly well. It is also a recliner which was great when I had to hold the baby upright after nursing for 20 mins.
At age 4 it is getting to be a tight squeeze for reading but I think it will move it to my room this fall. I did keep blankets on in during the whole nursing period.
Pogo says
I am cheap so I got a Poang and a KALLAX and called it a day.
anon says
Here too – mostly because DS arrived unexpectedly early, and by the time we got our act together he was going to be three months old before the glider came. The poang worked great.
Anonymous says
My recommendation for the nursery is always a stationary armchair rather than a rocker or glider. We had a Dutalier glider in the nursery that almost never got used because the armchair in my bedroom was much more comfortable for nursing. We had to get rid of the glider as soon as the baby started crawling because she was trying to pull up on the glider and especially the matching ottoman, and we were afraid she’d pinch her fingers or lose her balance. It was such a waste of money and space.
Anon says
This! We were passed down one and I thoroughly enjoyed it during pregnancy to read but it was a nightmare to nurse in. Get an armchair or a loveseat if you have the space!
Shop my suitcase says
We are working from my inlaws (small town – 3 hour drive from city / our home) for the week. MIL would now like to do some family photos on Sunday (just some snaps).
Which outfit would look less dated as I will have to see a snapshot framed for likely the next 5 years. It will be hot but not melting on Sunday.
– slightly tight white jeans with either: fitted navy tank? (this feels dated to me), less fitted black tank?, work shirt I brought for zoom calls (3/4 sleeve navy pattern)
– slight too big blue jersey dress. scoop neck. long midi skirt length.
– fitted knee length crew sleeveless black dress.
– black romper (gap Henley top) – shorts are quite short on me.
Shoe options are the real disaster: pale grey vans type sneakers (not the cleanest they have been), rubber flip flops, beat up birkenstocks type sandals. YIKES. (or you know actual running shoes).
– DH and DS will be wearing shorts and a polo (fortunately I threw one in for DS as it was at the top of the laundry pile).
Shopping isn’t really an option in this town. There is I think a winners but that obviously is hit / miss.
ps. Thank goodness for vaccines and getting to spend time with family again. I have got SO MUCH done this week working from 8 – 5:30 straight. MIL has made dinner. LO is so happy. Really grateful to our amazing family.
Anonymous says
I would do one of the dresses and have everyone be barefoot.
Anonymous says
Yup. I’d go blue dress
Anonymous says
If it’s too big, can you clip in the back with clothespins like a model at a photo shoot?
Anon says
Crew black dress.
NYCer says
I would do either the white jeans with the work top, or the sleeveless black dress. Does your MIL by chance have a pair of less beat up sandals you could borrow? Even if they don’t fit perfectly, you could probably make do for the photos.
Anonymous says
No romper. Any of the other options barefoot or with Birks.
Anonymous says
I would try on each outfit, have someone photograph you, and choose based on the photos rather than on what the outfit looks like in the mirror. Styles look different in photos than they do in real life.
OP says
you are so smart!!
Thanks ladies. maybe I can hide my feet behind the kiddo!
Anananan says
When is the best time of day to travel with little kids? We do 4 hour trips to see family pretty often and used to travel during nap time, but my 3 yo will wake up immediately when we hit traffic (we always do) and then she wakes up the baby…leading to road trip spiral hell.
Is bedtime better? Do your kids transfer easily? What if it’s a new place (Airbnb) or something?
ElisaR says
we have been doing our 5 hour trek to see grandparents an hour before bedtime. my kids never transferred for naps, but for nighttime sleeping they did. personally, i hate arriving that late bc i get tired too but it is best for the family.
Spirograph says
There’s no good time / it depends on your kids. I find my kids are usually really excited when we get to the destination, and it takes at least an hour to get all settled in and start getting them in bed, so arriving right at bedtime is NOT good for us.
My goal is usually to give the kids some time to run around outside before we get in the car, then leave before lunch so we can eat on the road (fast food picnic usually, these days) and not create a mess that we need to clean up right before we leave. Sometimes they fall asleep afterward, sometimes not. My take: it is what it is, and trying to optimize is a fool’s errand.
SC says
I think it really depends on the kid. My son doesn’t sleep well in the car when it’s dark outside because of the bright lights. When he napped, he slept fine during nap time in the car. Now, we just leave whenever it works best for the grown-ups who have to drive, but Kiddo is 6 and entertained by screens for hours.
CCLA says
We have recently had luck leaving at like 5am. Kids sleep for an hour or two and it is usually early enough to avoid traffic. Starting from age 2 we set them up with an iPad, which gets used from about the second hour on.
Anon says
My 8 y old made a friend with a pool. She’s a good swimmer but I don’t know if I should be asking the parents anything about making sure they don’t swim unsupervised etc? What does everyone do about a pool safety once you have a good swimmer at that age?
Anonymous says
I would ask about their precautions for keeping the kids out of the pool unsupervised–is the pool gated? Can an 8-year-old open the gate? Do they have a pool alarm? I probably wouldn’t allow a swim play date at all at that age unless I knew the parents well enough to be 100% certain they were watching the kids with full attention at all times.
Anonymous says
Yeh these are totally normal questions. It’s like I’m not offended if a friend every asks if we have guns in the house (yes, in a safe, gun/ammo stored seperately). I had a friend with a pool at that age and her stepmom ALWAYS supervised us.
Anon says
Personally I would never leave my child in the care of other parents with the expectation of swimming in a backyard pool, even if they were a great swimmer and even if I knew the parents exceptionally well, until middle school at the earliest. No knocks on other parents but this is a risk I would never take.
Mommasgottasleep says
We own a pool. I would absolutely not look askance at any friend’s parent who asked “hey you’re always supervising the kids when they swim, right? And can you show me where your rescue devices are?” If they say no or hem haw, I’d politely tell them (and your kid) that your kiddo can’t swim at their house unless you are there. You’re a good mom to think of this.
IHeartBacon says
This. As a pool owner with a child, I can tell you I am very careful about pool safety. I absolutely would not be miffed if a parent who was dropping their kid off at my house questioned me about our pool safety standards. I would welcome it.
Anonymous says
Anyone who is competent to supervise multiple kids in their pool will in no way be offended by some polite questions about what the rules for pool use are.
ElisaR says
any advice for preparing 3.5 yr old for getting his tonsils out on monday? i need to hit the foodstore for soft foods. he is very uncooperative with medecine, in the past i haven’t been able to get him to take tylenol.
Anon says
Aw, poor kid. I used to mix tylenol into appleasauce and spoon feed it. If that’s not appealing maybe you could stick it in a few spoonfuls of sorbet or slushie.
ElisaR says
that’s a great idea, thanks!
So Anon says
Does the place where he is having his tonsils out have a child-patient advocate? Our local children’s hospital has staff whose sole job is to help kiddo understand, in an age appropriate way, what will happen and what to expect. They gave my son a stuffy each time.
You didn’t ask, but I will also offer – I assume your son is going under general anesthesia. Will you be present with him when that happens? If so, know that your son will go limp in your arms, and it can be really distressing. My son has been under general anesthesia several times, and I held him each time as he went under. I was glad to be there and to comfort him, I knew what to expect, and I felt a bit woozy walking out of the OR. (And I’m not the least squeamish about surgery.) Its just really hard to watch. My son was super groggy when he came out, which I expected, but he was also slightly combative. Trying to get a slightly groggy and combative kid buckled into his carseat for the drive home was a challenge.
Agree on the mixing pain meds with other stuff. Also, stay ahead of the pain management. Don’t wait until he is expressing pain to treat it – give the pain meds on schedule for a while. When you are looking for soft foods, stay away from anything citrus based. Citrus burns and hurts on the wounds. Consider smoothies, really soft and buttery mashed potatoes and applesauce. Those were my favorites. (I had my tonsils out as a teen.)
ElisaR says
thank you. yes my older son went under for surgery at age 2 and the general anesthesia aspect was tough, but thank you for the reminder. i don’t think this place has a child advocate but I will be there until he is completely under so maybe I will get him a special stuffed animal and try to to be cognizant of what he’s going through. appreciate your thoughts!
Anon says
Any last-minute 6 year old boy birthday gifts? My son has a party tomorrow and of course I waited to the last minute and my normal go-tos (jigsaw puzzles, Play-Doh, LEGOs) are all not great when I looked at Target this morning.
Anonymous says
Barnes and Noble has a pretty good Lego selection near me. Try there?
Anonymous says
Target has good craft kits.
make it stop says
Beyblades are the only topic of conversation in my house.
GCA says
My 6yo DS recently enjoyed a Crayola ‘glitter dots’ keychain craft kit, and would probably enjoy most of the National Geographic science kits (likely available at Target).
Anon says
Guys, I’m 33 weeks with my third baby and so so const1pated. This is a new symptom for me! I think this kid is tap dancing on my intestines.
I feel for every kid being potty trained who has to take miralax now :(
And yes, I’m venting because this doesn’t seem like what the men in my office want to hear!
Anon says
I’m 33 weeks too, and same! Although drinking electrolytes vs water and adding flax seed to my yogurt has helped a bit. 7-8 more weeks until the misery ends . . .
Anonymous says
My first pregnancy I suffered with this so much . Suppositories helped slightly but are awful. Second pregnancy my dr ok’d Mira lax and it was totally life changing.
OP says
Thanks to you both! Glad to hear I’m not alone. I’m sipping a gatorade as I right this although I’ve had so much water too :)
My OBs office said colace then miralax then suppository and who knew I’d be learning so much. Ughhhh.
anon in brooklyn says
Magnesium before bed, like Natural Calm, helped me too. And helped me sleep better.
Anonymous says
my doctor was ok with regular miralax during pregnancy. It was essential.
Anonymous says
Late reply, but:
Colace + alllllll the fruit. Plums/prunes, peaches, cherries are the best for me. I get constipated easily when not pregnant and absolutely miserable while pregnant. Once I stopped barfing all the time, a large serving of fruit at every meal helped keep it moving.
2 lawyers + baby says
Any advice? Commiseration? Do I need to buck up? DH and I returned from parental leave in March and work for both of us is relentless. Baby just turned one. He had a constant daycare cold from May through July that sent him home from daycare at least once a week, and he has a couple health conditions that require biweekly appointments. Now he’s walking and teething, and so sleeping poorly. Yesterday, for example, I got home from nightmare work travel at 2:30 am and the baby was up at 3, 4, and 5:30 am for the day and I’m ready to break. We’ve outsourced housecleaning, some repair and car maintenance we’d otherwise do ourselves, and some take out. But we can barely find time or energy to workout during the week, or prepare healthy baby-friendly meals, or catch up on life’s admin tasks. We make it harder on ourselves by not bringing baby to any errands, like the grocery store, because we’re in a high risk area. DH and I split most tasks 50-50, including all caregiving.
Is this just parenthood? I would cut back on work to 80%, but I’m worried I’ll work 100% for just 80% pay. But maybe 100% is better than 110% . . .
Anonymous says
Order groceries, or better yet, fully prepared meals from somewhere like Territory. Order baby food. Ask for help from family and friends. Even one regular evening of care from a trusted caregiver will help.
Anonymous says
Oh and don’t beat yourself up about exercise, but just incorporate walking more. Date night? Walk with spouse. If you must run errands, walk there (with baby).
Anonymous says
One date we are doing this year is literally “walk up and down the driveway for an hour” because it doesn’t require a sitter!
EDAnon says
You will get time to exercise when your kiddo is older, so if you have to let it go, do so. But I do recommend getting in walking when you can for the mental health benefit.
Anonymous says
Yes, why are you going grocery shopping? Even pre-COVID grocery delivery/pickup was my lifeline. Also, sleep training (Ferber) is where it’s at.
Anonymous says
Basically yes. This is parenthood. Simplify as much as possible – make a two week meal plan. Use that as your grocery list. Shop once every week or two. Pick 2 -3 days a week each to exercise. For me that is Saturday morning, Monday evening and Wednesday lunchtime yoga. For DH it is running Sunday morning, Tuesday evening and Thursday lunchtime. Sleep when the baby naps on the weekend. Trade off bedtimes so you have a bit of time every second night to catch up on chores. Hang in there. It gets easier as they get older.
NYCer says
Would you consider a nanny? I know nanny vs. daycare is a very personal decision, but we have found that a good nanny makes our lives SO much easer. As a starting point, you would at least eliminate some of the illnesses / scrambling when baby can’t go to daycare, as well as kid food prep.
anon says
+1 to nanny. My oldest NEVER got sick because we had a nanny; by the time DS#2 rolled around, my older son had started part time daycare/preschool and so both of them were sick constantly (even though younger son was home FT with nanny). Nanny has made our lives so much easier in so many ways.
Leatty says
This stage of life is so hard!
Is there anything else you can outsource? I recently started outsourcing laundry (with pick up and delivery), DH and I have healthy prepared food delivered through Catered Fit every day, all bills are on autopay, and we have a babysitter one afternoon every weekend so we can catch up on work, do chores, exercise, or relax.
Are you open to sleep training? Or letting him cry it out? I have an almost one year old, and if I’ve already nursed him once during the night and he wakes up again, I turn off the sound on the monitor and go back to sleep once I’ve confirmed he’s ok.
ElisaR says
i think you’re in a tough stage. my kids were in daycare but we got a mother’s helper for evening help 2-3 days a week and it was a game changer for me. it took time for the kids to get used to her, but soon it meant we could work later, run to grocery store, think…..
it is adding possible covid exposure but this is a very hard stage.
ElisaR says
also i love exercising…. i did not do it at this stage. it was impossible for me.
fallen625 says
The first year or two are so tough, hang in there.
+1 to nanny. Did it with my second but not my first and to this day I say my biggest regret was not doing a nanny with my first.It makes life soo much easier in those younger years to not have to pack daycare bags, constantly be home with sick kids, etc.
Have you considered sleep training? I think if baby could sleep through the night your life will dramatically improve. Ferber’s approach/his book is the best. It was very very resistant with my first but it was life changing once I did it. If you do it to the dot on the Ferber book and are consistent; for a lot of people it is 1-3 nights of crying, and then baby sleeps through the night.
And about exercise, see if you can do it with baby. I loved the Thule to run with my kids when they were younger, or go on hikes.
And as far as outsourcing goes, I recommend having your housekeer also do laundry (I just offered ours 15 a week extra for laundry), freshly prepared meals (they also have the equivalent for kids which we loved, can’t remember the name.. maybe nurture life?)
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I think everyone’s suggestions are great but just want to echo – the first year-ish is NOT super reflective of what comes after. Things seemingly do get simpler on many fronts: no bottles/pump parts to wash, kid generally eats regular food, sleep levels out (although I do encourage sleep training if you’re not against it).
I also second the poster re exercise – DS #2 is 8 months old, and I’m just now getting back into exercising. A huge contributor is that I’m not pumping or nursing during the day, only AM and before bed.
OP says
Thanks for all the suggestions! I’ve put on our list to look into prepared meals, find a weekend babysitter for a few hours, and sleep training.
I might just hire a sleep consultant. We did CIO around month 5 and it worked beautifully until daycare colds started. When he was sick, he was so miserable that we responded more, sometimes to snot-suck or give motrin. He’s had way fewer colds now, so we need to stop responding. We briefly tried CIO again recently but his lungs have gotten louder and his stamina longer than we could bear amid our own suggestion.
Thanks for the food recs! We had been doing Hello Fresh, but the meat leaked on almost every delivery and that caused more hassle.
We seriously considered a nanny, but we live in a condo and we’re both WFH for the foreseeable future. We’re just too crammed for space to have the baby around constantly while we’re working. As a lifelong city person, I’ve never wanted a house in the suburbs with a yard so much!!
So Anon says
Just chiming in to say hang in there. This stage is tough. For me, when my oldest hit 1, I thought “I’ve been at this a year, should it still be so hard?” The answer is YES. The older baby/toddler years are hard, but they do start getting easier, bit-by-bit and not nearly at the pace that seems right or sane to the parents. There are small milestones that start making it more fun and easier. Remember that it won’t be this hard forever, and you don’t have to figure it all out forever, just for today and maybe the next month or so.
Anonymous says
So much commiseration with respect to that being a hard stage. Our kiddo got teeth late and all at once and the month before / after he turned one was like being back at age 3 months from a sleep perspective. Even though he could put himself back to sleep (post CIO), it’s not like I wasn’t AWAKE when he was screaming in the middle of the night.
I love exercising. I get the mantra around self-care and making me time but for yourself; however, I felt so much better when I gave myself permission to just not set my alarm to pretend I would have energy to exercise. I would think hard about whether there is something that you can give up, even if it seems “important” to give yourself some grace. NET NET I didn’t want to totally give up on home cooking because eating poorly (e.g. all takeout) makes me feel WORSE than not exercising, but for you it could be – I am literally not going to cook for a month: takeout / frozen stuff etc only (like maybe make smoothies or scrambled eggs). See how you feel if you could give up one thing until LO starts sleeping again.
Anonymous says
No advice, but a lot of commiseration. I’m right there with you with a kiddo the same age. I’m also struggling with just how isolating the past year has been. Friends with older kids have been quick to say, “That’s just what the first year is like,” which isn’t that helpful, and completely skips over the fact that my spouse and I haven’t had outside hands-on help for much of this year due to Covid.
Nanny - raises and year-end gift says
What do you give your nanny as an annual raise (or a raise for when you have another baby), and what do you do for a December gift? Also where are you located?
First time with a nanny (bc first child) and the only one of our friends to have one, so trying to plan for what is normal/market. We are ~ 45 min outside NYC (Rockland County NY/Bergen County NJ area).
anon says
I’m in SoCal and I did one week’s salary as a holiday bonus (though I know some people will do up to two weeks, but our nanny was kind of meh so I didn’t feel like doing two weeks). When second baby arrived, I did a $4/hr raise (I did it right when the baby was born, not when my maternity leave ended, because I knew she’d have additional tasks right from the baby’s birth)
RR says
For context, my children are all school-age, so our nanny is full time in the summer and after school (10 hours/week) during the school year. We pay her $25/hour. She’s worked for us for 3 years.
I haven’t given her a raise in a couple years. She was $20/hour for the first summer then bumped to $25/hour starting that first school year. The second school year I didn’t do a raise because we are very high for our area. Then COVID. She came during the third summer, but then we paid her not to come for almost the entire school year. In light of that, I didn’t do a raise that school year either. We are now starting school year 4, and I think I’m going to bump her $2/hour.
Bonuses–normally $500-$750. Last year I did $250 because again, we were paying her to not come. I’m not sure any of it is “right.” I think we do pretty well by her. We pay her for holidays, two weeks of vacation a year, any vacation we take, and unlimited sick/personal days (she doesn’t abuse them at all, so I don’t keep track.) We adore her, and we really want to keep her. But, maybe we are really off? I have no data points beyond myself.
ElisaR says
last christmas (now i have that song stuck in my head!) we gave our nanny cash in the amount of $500 which is approx half of her weekly pay. now since she has been with us a year I will probably give her closer to a week’s pay? we are hitting a year next month and she approached us for a raise 2 months ago. we gave her approx 20% raise per hour ( but wound up cutting some hours due to pre-k) from $22 to $25 per hour. so she is getting more money and working fewer hours but the raise isn’t a true 20% more than we were paying out of pocket before. we are in northern NJ.
Anon says
Houston – give her a $1 raise per year or new child. For December, we do two weeks pay. She also gets Christmas Eve to New Years as a paid holiday.
Anon says
SoCal. We do a $1/raise each year and did $2 when we had a second child. We do $1k cash bonus for Christmas, $200 for her birthday, and $100 for each year she’s worked for us on her employment anniversary. I also order her lunch every Friday.
prepared meals recs? says
Piggybacking off 2 lawyers + baby post above, can we have a list of recommended prepared meals that are healthy? I’m in DC area but will take any national or local suggestions. Have enjoyed Territory in the past, and I saw Catered Fit recommended.
Looking for both adult and baby meals. Thank you!
ElisaR says
i have heard good things about eat clean bro but haven’t tried it yet.
Anonymous says
The name is so awful it’s hilarious! It reminds me of that commercial where the guy goes from scrawny to the Incredible Hulk while lifting one dumbbell and saying “bro” over and over.
ElisaR says
ha! i agree, totally ridiculous name.
Anon says
Does your office have a caterer you like? We use RSVP catering and it’s pretty good (at the office, haven’t tried home) and I think they are still doing home delivery of prepared meals. We tried Freshly and thought it was awful. So we’re back to Hello Fresh (not ideal because you still have to cook, but at least the food is good) 1-2x per month depending on weekly choices with all the takeout and freezer food in between.
V says
Mighty Meals is based in Northern Virginia and I’ve liked them
Bette says
I used Health Fresh after I had a baby in DC and the meals were tasty and fresh. They do not have specific kids meals though.
Prices are reasonable.
Anonymous says
Foodhini is DC-specific. Fresh Direct serves DC and has a lot of prepared meals in addition to groceries.
Anon says
SoCal. We do a $1/raise each year and did $2 when we had a second child. We do $1k cash bonus for Christmas, $200 for her birthday, and $100 for each year she’s worked for us on her employment anniversary. I also order her lunch every Friday.