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Happy Monday! Did you know there are a lot of maternity items in the big Nordstrom Fall Clearance Sale? A lot of it is very springy stuff (lots of pastels), but I think this dress could be worn year-round, layered in winter with a navy cardigan and navy tights. The dress is Maternal America, one of the brands that’s pretty well represented in the sale, and it’s 50% off — it was $148, but is now $74, at Nordstrom. Tie Front Maternity Dress (L-all) Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
LegalMomma says
Vent: Ladies sorry for the early Monday vent, but I just needed to get it off my chest. I was going through my plans for leave with my admin (older woman) – what cases were open, who is taking what, etc. while I am out on leave. She then asks me if I am coming back full time after leave and I said yes. Her response – well its just so much harder with two. I pointed out there are a number of Associates in our group who have two small children at home. She responded with well yea – but they are men.
ARGH. I am a professional, I am the primary breadwinner, my H is an awesome father with whom I split parenting fairly 50/50 depending on the week (if we are being fair he does more of the hands on stuff due to a 5 min commute versus a 35 min commute). The fact that I am a woman and not a man has ZERO bearing on my ability to do my job competently – even if I have children.
At least none of the partners with whom I work have asked this question – or questioned my competency or willingness to return to work. Its more just a continuing problem with how the administrative staff reacts and treats female associates v. male associates. So that was my Monday vent – hope everyone else is having a better start to the week!
JayJay says
Totally justified rant. How frustrating.
MommyMonster says
Booo! You can do it and naysayers stink.
GCA says
Sorry! Ugh. Rant justified. Complete and serene belief that you and your family can do it is absolutely essential (fake it till you make it, right?) to doing it. If you have a good relationship with your admin, you might be able to gently explain why her unbelief is not helpful, and ask her how she can best support you so that you CAN do it…
anon says
Call me naive, but her response as you described it sounds more like an expression of compassion about the stress of being a working mother to small children than questioning your competence in the workplace.
LegalMomma says
Normally – I would totally agree with you. But in this situation, believe me it was a questioning of WHY I as woman would be working full time and shouldn’t I be home with my children. Also with assumptions built in about whose “job” (mine or H’s) it is to take care of the kids. Unfortunately the admin staff in our office (mostly older women) have a tendency to treat male versus female attorneys differently. (This is also a complete generalization, there are of course exceptions), but my admin is definitely one who has *opinions* on working mothers (she never had kids).
Meg Murry says
Well then UGH! to her.
I was also hoping this was coming from a place of compassion and commiseration from her, not judgement. Is it harder with 2? Yes. Is it impossible? No. I was hoping her “yes but they are men” was implying “yes, but they are men with SAH spouses” not just a sexist remark.
I think this sounds like an argument you don’t want to fight and you probably need to plan some “shut it down and change the subject” answers, because she won’t be the only one with this attitude at your workplace.
Good luck and hugs!
anon says
Well in that case, I see your point!
EB0220 says
This was my first thought, too. It IS harder (but totally doable) with two.
Anonymous says
My DH is quite involved and was a SAHD for a while. We both had a number of experiences with older women who couldn’t seem to wrap their heads around the idea of dads being involved and taking three kids grocery shopping or on a field trip at school or whatever. It’s like it is so far from how their own husbands were that they literally can’t understand what’s happening.
LegalMomma says
It is truly amazing how many people can’t fathom how involved my H is. I know how lucky I am, and that I don’t have anywhere near the battles to fight that women had to just 10 years ago, but sometimes it just seems like a constant battle. But again – thankful that the attorneys that I work with at least haven’t expressed this attitude. The assumption has been that I am coming back, and they are very anxious for me to do so!
CPA Lady says
My 70 year old mom is like that. Anytime she sees a man doing stuff with his kids she thinks he’s going above and beyond. When its a woman, she’s just doing “her job”. Sigh.
Anonymous says
My mom is actually one of the worst for it. The three kids are a lot for her so it’s like if she can’t imagine herself handling it, she feels like it objectively must be not possible vs acknowledging that she’s getting older, so she can’t understand that DH can actually handle a certain situation just as well as I could.
D. Meagle says
That is the WORST! I returned from my second maternity leave just as my busy season was beginning. I am working late one night, and the night secretary, an older women, remarked, “It’s late; why are you still here and not home with your babies?” I asked her if she asked that question to my male colleague who also has two young children, who was also working late. She kind of clucked something and walked off. Never commented about my long hours after that.
MommyMonster says
New diaper bag help: mine are 4 (not in diapers) and 15 months (still diapers). I’d like a bag that doesn’t scream “diaper bag”, ideally one I could travel with or use as a work bag later. Bonus points if it has stroller straps.
H says
DH and I use a backpack with our almost 2 year old and it works very well for us. Gender neutral, lots of compartments, holds a lot, and easy to carry LO while also carrying the backpack.
AnonMN says
I have a Lily Jade, which is all leather and does not look like a diaper bag when zipped up. It has a removeable insert that allows for organization when it is a diaper bag, but once you remove it, it could easily be a work bag (i use mine when I travel for work). My only complaints are that the insert is a little floppy and my version (Rosie) does not turn into a back-pack, but they changed both of these things with the most recent line.
AwayEmily says
Seconding backpack.
anon dc mom says
skip hop versa
Sonny says
I have a black skip hop diaper backpack and I like it. I will use it as a normal backpack later.
Em says
Can anyone recommend a specific backpack diaper bag that is semi-professional looking?
Anon says
We just use the standard Everlane one and it’s great. Just add your existing changing pad and you are set.
R says
the Honest Co. diaper backpack
Backpack user says
Or do the reverse: find a professional looking backpack and add a changing pad and bottle cooler if needed. We have 14mo old and have always used my old work laptop backpack (Timbuk2 metro something or other) with a Skip Hop Pronto changing pad.
What makes a diaper bag backpack different from a ordinary backpack? Their straps look really uncomfortable (ahem skip hip, ju ju be), have marginally a few more pockets, and they include a flimsy changing pad, and super expensive for what you get.
SoCalAtty says
TwelveLittle! Even has a laptop sleeve. Love it.
L says
I had what I think was the half sleeve version of this same dress when I was pregnant three years ago, and I liked it so much I bought it in another color! It also transfers beautifully to postpartum use.
PinkKeyboard says
Waiting on our ultrasound tomorrow to find out if our IVF made twins or a singleton. Or triplets because we are having identical twins as my husband fears. Just had to put it out there somewhere as I’m at work twitching with anticipation.
Carine says
That’s a nice distraction from the election if you’re in the US! How exciting!
Lurker says
What are you hoping for so I can wish accordingly for you?
PinkKeyboard says
One. We already have a daughter so we would be okay with twins but one would be much easier logistically/financially. Hopefully I find out AND Hillary wins. Great day on all fronts!
MSJ says
Good luck! I remember that day. I got twins, which was hard but amazingly awesome.
anon dc mom says
Where can I find matching pjs for a 6 year old, 2 year old and newborn? Is that even possible?
Anonymous says
Yes! I just ordered some from The Childrens Place.
CHL says
Hanna andersson usually has the same prints but the infant will be a one piece and the toddlers will have two pieces
Onlyworkingmomintulsa says
Seconding Hanna Andersson
Spirograph says
Third. I’lll probably get the whole family some cheesy matching jammies for Christmas, because my husband absolutely shocked me by gleefully expressing interest while looking at the Hanna Andersson catalogue.
quail says
Lol – my husband too! They must have really hit on something with this catalog!
CPA Lady says
Yep, and you can even get ones for you that match too!
jlg says
these are also the best, softest pjs ever!! organic, and the prints and stripes are always adorable and can often be mixed and matched. worth the extra $!
Famouscait says
Target has some really cute options this year.
Anonymous says
Burts Bees has cute ones
Maddie Ross says
+1 to Burts Bees
Meg Murry says
When you say newborn – do you mean actually wearing size NB? or do you mean probably wearing size 3m or 6m?
Last year someone recommended Leveret (available on Amazon) for matching kids pajamas, and it looks like you could find matching sets if you’re willing to do a little digging to put together matching sets and if the baby can wear a 6M size.
It looks like you might also be able to find some that are at least coordinating if not matching at Carter – they do newborn through size 12, although not every style in every size.
Pajamagram comes in all sizes (0-3M up through adult) if you look at the “coordinating family sets” but they are $$$ (but I’d guess there are coupon codes out there). One of the very large extended families in my area gets them every year though and it always looks so cute in their Christmas morning pictures to see 20-30+ people in their matching pjs.
Anonymous says
Leveret runs very small, FYI – my kid could have worn 6 months by the time he was 8 weeks old.
Anonymous says
I love the Disney store’s holiday plaid pajamas. I don’t think they make one for infants, but there is usually a sleeper in the same red.
hoola hoopa says
Carters. Not all designs are available at all ages, but many are.
Behavior Help Books says
Suggestions:
We have a son who has some very challenging behaviors. He is about to turn two. He has some medical issues and there’s no doubt in the world that his behaviors are related to his medical issues (often feeling uncomfortable, upset stomach, etc) and that he has speech delays (we have weekly speech), but some of his behaviors are OUT OF CONTROL and not acceptable, e.g. picking up a chair and throwing it, bashing things into the wall, throwing himself on the floor for 20+ minutes screaming, etc. We did some data this weekend and he is having 2+ hours of this behavior ever day. We’re doing all the first level stuff (and his therapist is also out of ideas) and I’d love to have recommendations for BOOKS ABOUT DEALING WITH DIFFICULT TODDLERS to read at night to just come up with more ideas for behavior management options that allow us to keep him – and us! – safe while we work on his words and help alleviate his physical symptoms over the next 1-2 years.
Probably making this difficult is that we have other young children including a 3 year old and so we can’t actually just devote 15 minutes to 1:1 handling of a situation, especially when there’s only one parent at home.
Thanks for recommendations!
NewMomAnon says
How is his sleep? Is he getting enough? Is it quality sleep? I know when I’ve been in pain, my sleep quality goes down. I only ask because those behaviors sound a lot like my (spirited, high energy, active) child’s behavior when she isn’t getting enough sleep.
Also, 2 is a tough age, especially with speech impediments. Does he have any sign language skills? When my daughter ran out of words at that age, she would just sign “help please” over and over.
As far as books, you’ve probably already read this, but “The Whole Brain Child” helped me understand my daughter. It’s also helped me to reframe my thinking about her; when I think of her as a “difficult child,” she somehow seems to live up to that. When I think of her as “enthusiastic, curious, determined, and independent,” I usually find ways to harness her “misbehaviors” into helpful behaviors.
Behavior Help Books says
This is super helpful, thanks! I have not read The Whole Brain Child.
He has some sign language (Baby Signing Time was the best!) but he has a lot more words now. He sleeps like a champ but he has some medical issues that cause him to fairly frequently have an upset stomach and achyness. It’s definitely stemming from that but we still can’t just let him have a tantrum and destroy things/hurt himself/us while he’s on what is a months+ recovery. It seems like the doctors are just focused on his physical issues which is great but there’s not really a behavioral consultant so we’ve been reading books and trying to figure these things out for ourselves.
NewMomAnon says
Hugs.
Has he been hospitalized? I’ve heard that PTSD is somewhat common for kids who have been hospitalized young. Does your workplace have an EAP or similar that might include some child development experts to help guide you? Or would your insurance cover some meetings with a child development expert?
Behavior Help Books says
He has been hospitalized three different times so far… and he also has a medical treatment approximately every 3 weeks which is fairly traumatic. I don’t fault him at all for these behavioral challenges – I know he’s got a lot going on inside and that of course he’s too young to understand it, but we have to address it from a safety standpoint if nothing else. Thanks for your encouragement.
anonish says
haven’t dealt with this with my own kid, but something DH’s parents did with him was to give him a designated toy on which to take out his frustrations. i think this was recommended by a therapist. that way the feelings get acknowledged and have an outlet without making it unsafe — so you can explain its not ok to throw chairs/hit mommy, daddy, sibling, but you understand he is frustrated and he can express that toward “angry doggy” (or whatever toy).
whole-brain child (or their other book, no-drama discipline) are helpful for rethinking how we characterize kids feelings or behaviors (though i bought both and thought they were fairly redundant so just pick one). but i often find their suggested dialogue doesn’t really work in the moment as much as i’ve tried. maybe my kid is just too young (almost 4) to process the “connect” part in the way they suggest. i find it works better when he feels hurt/sad vs when he feels angry/defiant.
i hope any of this helps — best of luck and pat yourself on the back for working so hard to advocate for your kiddo.
Meg Murry says
Along a similar line, my son’s daycare has a “reflection corner” or “feelings corner” or “redirection corner” or some similar name filled with soft pillows, stuffed animals, etc. When a kid is throwing a tantrum, they are taken to that area, and told “you can be mad or sad over here and stomp your feet or kick the pillows or hug the stuffed animals. When you are ready to be calm again you can come back and join us at [circle time or whatever]”. So it’s kind of a time-out, but it’s not phrased that way and not used directly as punishment, but more as an acknowledgement that it’s ok to be mad, but it’s not ok to disrupt the rest of the class with a tantrum – and eventually some of the kids will start to take *themselves* to the [whatever they call it] corner when they need to let off some anger or cool down.
Is there a typical pattern to the screaming/throwing/hitting fit? Does it escalate until he screams himself out? Does it escalate until he starts doing something that you have to physically intervene in like stopping him from throwing chairs?
Is he in some kind of preschool/daycare program? Do the teachers there have any suggestions? Can the speech therapist refer you to a behavioral consultant, even if you have to do it yourselves/outside of the official EI system? Even if he isn’t officially diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, perhaps some of the techinques there could help, like a weighted vest or blanket, or just tight hugs? For instance, when my oldest flips from tantrum to more of just a meltdown, wrapping him in a blanket and holding him tightly in a bear hug, possibly while doing some of the other “happiest baby” techiniques like rocking back and forth or shushing still sometimes helps, even when he was 2, 3, 4 etc. If nothing else, it gives me something to do (hold him tightly against me while rocking) and keeps him from hurting himself or anything else.
Can you work on finding a safe space and activity for your 3 year old to go do (perhaps involving playing in his room by himself or even screen time) so you can let the 2 year old scream it out without keeping the 3 year old in the line of fire?
anon says
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham – she also has the Ahaparenting website.
Frozen Peach says
Parenting Without Power Struggles has been really helpful. I also generally love the Moms on Call Toddler book for their advice about the “how” of discipline (though I don’t agree with them that spanking is sometimes okay). It’s very straightforward and easy to follow when you’re in the moment.
shortperson says
i have a nephew with severe food allergies that acts like this too. my sister eventually hired a consultant to figure everything out because her personality was not built for dealing with a child like that, no matter how many books she read. it was very expensive but helped a lot. hugs, it sucks.
Spirograph says
The Difficult Child
It’s old, but I still found the “diagnostic” categories really interesting and helpful. I decided my children aren’t really that difficult, comparatively, but the suggestions still helped me frame and mitigate their occasional outbursts.
I hope you find some good resources and the medical side resolves soon, this situation sounds really challenging. Hugs.
529s says
Hi ladies, my husband and I have created a budget that includes a yearly contribution to our daughter’s 529 fund. If we make this yearly contribution for the next 18-20 years, we will have enough saved to pay a private university’s tuition for 4 years. Recently, my husband has been saying that perhaps we should reduce our contribution because she might go to a public university, and then we would end up paying a penalty to take the money out of the 529. I have said that it seems unlikely she will go to a public university since everyone in our family has gone to private universities, and even if she did, the leftover money could rollover into her (hopefully, future) sibling’s account. He said that we can’t know what she will do (which obviously I understand), and that we would just have the money saved elsewhere. But that means we lose out on tax-free growth. How have you all factored public vs. private education into your college savings? Do you split the baby and put some but not all college savings into the 529?
Maddie Ross says
We do the latter – we put a modest amount into the 529, but we know it will not be enough for even a full public university education (at the rate things are going at least). Our hope/plan is that our other non-retirement savings vehicles will be sufficient to get our LO a good part of the way there. That along with the fact that we’re already paying more than a public university education in daycare each year, so redirecting that in the future will be helpful…
anon says
We’re saving enough just for public tuition. This is influenced by the fact that (1) we really can’t afford a lot more, especially right now; (2) it seems fairly likely our child may inherit some college funds from grandparents; (3) we live in a state with diverse and decent public education options, and not somewhere our child is likely to want to flee at first opportunity; and possibly (4) my husband had a full scholarship to a private school and he’s in the sciences, where scholarships are less like unicorns. I think we both feel that our child can make up the difference in tuition with loans or other aid if he really wants to go to a private school.
MSJ says
We’ve put in the approximate amount for public school. It works with our budget and allows the kids to have skin in the game if they prefer to go to private school, which I think is important. Although I’m hoping something will change in higher education costs in the next 16 yrs
jlg says
we are buying credits at the highest cost level. my options were significantly limited b/c of actual/perceived costs and i’d rather over-save than under-save. we have decent state schools (i went to two!) but they are large institutions and that’s just not the best fit for everyone. they also aren’t as heavily subsidized as in other states, so they can still be quite costly. at the rate costs are increasing, by the time we get there, i’ll be thrilled if what we’ve saved covers 75% of a state school education.
Anonymous says
Remember 529 could be used for any family members’ education costs, including a masters degree, law school or med school. My brother went to undergrad for free, but got his Masters at a private university. The money could also be used for grandkids! Now that’s a legacy to leave for your daughter.
CPA Lady says
My husband has been working on a ramp up time period at work that involves him being out of the house between 6:30 am and 6:30 pm on Sundays for the next couple of months. For some reason, this seems completely overwhelming to me, and all day long I count down the hours til he gets home. On Sunday morning I wake up and think to myself “I am the adult. I need to be calm and patient.” Usually I have yelled at or been a jerk to my kid at least once by 9 am, and intermittently throughout the day.
I can’t tell if I’m being overly perfectionist, or if I need better coping skills. Is it realistic to expect to stay calm for 12 hours straight with a 2 year old? I have the hardest time when my daughter repeats a request in increasing volume and urgency despite being told no. e.g. “Go outside?!” when it’s dark and cold and we are not going to go outside. I think she said that at least 50 times in a row yesterday. I try saying no. I try explaining why we cant go outside. I try validating that I understand that she wants to go outside. I try walking away calmly. And after she asks yet again (and again and again), I end up bellowing “NO WE ARE NOT GOING OUTSIDE”. Then she cries and cries and I feel like a monster. Is this just having a toddler or is something wrong with me? And to have to be “on” and calm for 12 hours straight is just so overwhelming. I did a lot of solo parenting when she was younger and that was hard too, but this is hard in a different way. Her completely developmentally appropriate tantrums and irrationality are so frustrating to me.
Any thoughts or suggestions? I end up going into the week more exhausted on Monday than I was on Friday.
Maddie Ross says
Are you even remotely a church-goer? My H and I each grew up moderately religious and since having a child have joined a church almost entirely for the sunday school benefit. She goes to Sunday School for an hour during the service, it gives us structure on Sunday morning and then we go out to lunch afterwards or to the park if it’s nice. Head home for nap. Obviously, if you’re not at all religious or against that, this is out the window. But it would give you some structure and “off” time. Bonus that we’re heading into the holidays so even if you’re just a “Christeaster” person, you can enjoy the music, etc. more than usual.
Spirograph says
+1. Our church has a playground. By the time we do the service (an hour or peace and quiet for me!) and let the kids play afterward (another 30-60 min where I can mostly chat with adults while the kids play) it’s lunchtime… So half the time we stop at McDonald’s on the way home and then it’s time for nap. Voila, half the day is gone. It’s made our weekends a lot more manageable.
jlg says
that’s a long time to keep your cool with a 2 year old!! when DH went thru a similar period (tons of work travel and long days) and now that i’m in the midst of a similar stretch, we call in backup and rely on planned outings (and naps!) to recharge/diffuse. so DH’s parents come in from out of town for several days, or my sister just comes by for a few hours so i have some adult conversation or she can play for an hour or two so i can read/nap/shower/cook without the constant need to be “on”. or we head to a museum or the park in the AM so we aren’t both in each others’ faces in the house all day. a mother’s helper (much cheaper than a sitter, can be even be middle- or high-school age) can also help get you some relief for a few hours.
good luck and hope the situation is only temporary!
Anonymous says
Why is wanting to go outside when it’s dark and cold irrational? With appropriate outerwear, why not if it keeps her happy and, therefore, you sane? If it really is dark, maybe get a headlamp (my kids LOVE those)?
Generally speaking, when I’m solo with my kids I set myself up for success by planning ahead, lowering my expectations and picking my battles. This means we have to leave the house, no matter the weather, 90 minutes of getting up because a change of scenery is key. It means we need a good breakfast and lunch, we need some active time, some downtime/naps, etc.
I assume few parents are able to cope perfectly every single day, day after day. Kids are hard work. But I think you can increase the chances that you can cope the majority of the time on any given day with some planning.
Anon in NYC says
I often find my 17 month old exhausting for the same reasons. Completely normal behavior, but sometimes so. hard. When I have to solo parent (and even when I don’t), I often find it helpful to structure her weekend days like a weekday and follow what they do at daycare. This way it breaks down the day into intervals and reduces the number of times I think, “okay, 8 more hours, 6 more hours.”
So, breakfast, then play time at home while I get ready, then a mid-morning snack. Then there’s a window of time before lunch. So I try to do an activity or run an errand at that time, plus a stop at the playground. Then it’s back home for lunch, then a nap (fingers crossed it’s 2 hours). Post-nap, there’s another activity or errand and ideally some playground time to burn off energy. Can you find ways to get out of the house for those periods of activity? Like, story time or a weekly music class or gymboree? Perhaps there’s a toddler gymnastics or ballet class in your area? Something to take the pressure off you.
Anonymous says
1. It’s totally normal for a toddler to ask a question like one million times. Just keep repeating the same answer. Again and again and again. Try to distract her with another activity.
2. Budget some time to yourself on Sundays. Hire a babysitter to come for a couple of hours (e.g. feed toddler lunch and put down for nap). Have brunch with a friend, go to a yoga class etc.
3. Get of the house with the toddler. Especially in the morning – go to church, go the park or a local playcentre, playdate at a friend’s house.
4. You can go outside when it’s dark and cold. If you really want to know the logistics – post back and I’ll give you some ideas. If I didn’t go outside with my toddlers in the cold and dark when I got home from work, we’d only get outside on the weekends (Canada).
Anonymous says
Canadian anon: with winter approaching where I am (not Canada) I’m reminded that despite having multiple kids, I have never mastered hand coverings for very small children. Tips? Links to things that work? Youngest is 1.5 and very independent. I’m going to need something so she can keep up with her friends and siblings, but I never found any gloves/mittens that worked for her siblings at that age. Thanks!
Anonymous says
These are my favs for one and two year olds who won’t open the zipper. Zipper makes it super easy to get on. Quick trick if they do like to open the zipper is to slide a hair elastic over the mitten. They make the same one for bigger kids too. I also like the hot paws hats that velco under the chin.
http://hotpawscanada.com/en/categories/25/products/79
These are my favs for older kids are these: https://www.mec.ca/en/product/5037-300/Toasty-Mitts – REI must have something similar.
Kombi has super cute animal mitts that are great but they are harder to get on than the ones that zipper one. https://www.mec.ca/en/product/5042-659/Animal-Family-Mitts
Also, I’ve been able to put a headlamp on my two year old – they love being able to see and chase the spotlight.
Anonymous says
replied but stuck in moderation for multiple links
Anonymous says
It seems to be stuck in comment purgatory so the short answer is the hot paws that zip up on the side for easy off and on with that age group- hair elastic around the wrist on top if they pull at the zipper. Kombi has cute animal ones for older kids that are harder to get on but stay on super well.
H says
I would be overwhelmed too; being with a toddler all day is exhausting! I have a few suggestions, take ’em or leave ’em:
1. Get out of the house. If the weather is bad, even just walking around a mall might be more interesting for your daughter than sitting around the house all day. Plus, holiday decorations will be up soon so that might be fun for your daughter to see.
2. Invite daughter’s friends over, bonus if you like the other moms.
3. Nap when you daughter is napping. Like I said, it is exhausting. You probably need a midday recharge also.
4. Don’t be afraid to let her watch a little tv or play on the tablet if you need a break.
mascot says
I agree with a lot of the above advice about getting out of the house/routine. Also, are you getting any other time during the week to do something for you? Like some time to recharge your own batteries away from your kid? I’m much more tense if I don’t get some mascot time on the regular. Can your husband take kiddo to breakfast or on some errand on Saturday to allow you some time alone. Even being able to focus on getting my weekend chores done for an hour or gasp, work out, without my kid constantly begging for me to entertain him makes a big difference..
anne-on says
A big +1 to all of the suggestions above – particularly, to cut yourself a HUUUUUGE break. The way I manage when my husband travels and I solo parent is a combo of a few things:
– scheduling ‘outings’ – classes for kiddo, a trip to a zoo/park/kids museum/etc. Heck, even a trip to the mall to walk around would cut it on a gross day
– have a ‘date’ time planned for meals. My kiddo is not a great eater. Giving in and going to a family friendly place for breakfast or lunch removed one power struggle of the day (and let me skip cooking at least one meal).
– mentally plan your day into blocks (breakfast time, post-breakfast stories and cuddles, outside time or ‘outing’, lunch, nap, post-nap activity, tv before dinner so you can prep a meal, dinner, stories, bath time, cuddles, book, bed).
– try to arrange ‘off’ nights with your husband if possible. So a few nights a week he handles all kiddo related activities for a few hours so you can read, watch silly TV, go to the gym, etc. And if you need to get into pjs at 8pm with a glass of wine on Sunday, so be it!
rakma says
My daughter doesn’t really get the idea of ‘later’ but gets ‘after we have breakfast and get dressed and whatever whatever we can go outside/watch a show/do the thing you want to do” She now goes down the list of things saying ‘CHECK!’ after the completed ones, which is adorable. Maybe re-framing the answer from ‘no’ to ‘after the sun is out’ will help in some cases?
Is your local library open on Sundays? Ours has a great kid’s area, and the novelty of other kids + basic toys + books is enough to keep my toddler occupied for long enough for me to feel human. Combined with lunch (which is sometimes a fast food cheeseburger served ala carseat) and sometimes a car nap, I could have a peaceful afternoon when DH works the odd weekend day.
TK says
Man, I hear you. I would be exhausted too. My husband is a litigator, and when he’s preparing for or in trial, I’m dealing with our kiddo solo. My survival mechanisms:
– T.V. (he doesn’t watch it the 50 hours a week he’s at daycare, a couple of hours on the weekend won’t kill him)
– Husband agrees to pay it back at a future time. So when I’m in the midst of explaining, again, why we can’t have ‘ha – ween’ candy for breakfast, I remind myself that two weeks from now my husband will be ‘on’ while I’m at yoga and brunch with my girlfriends.
anon says
Ugh, I’ve been there (every weekend), and it doesn’t take me 12 straight hours to get crazy. I really question my fitness for mother hood very regularly. I have no idea how to handle that kind of repeated request without flipping out after a certain point. I mean, you can say something like, I need a break from this question, I’m not answering it again, and then not answer it again, but my kid would most likely keep asking until I freak out too. My only advice is to make plans to get out of the house each Sunday, and recruit your husband to help in making sure that you can get done the stuff that needs to get done on the weekend on Saturday so you aren’t feeling pressure to get things done on Sunday while entertaining your child. And order dinner every Sunday night.
Ugh says
Thank you for saying that you question your fitness for motherhood regularly. I work part time and take care of my 2-year old twins part time. Even with a 40-hour-a-week nanny, I question whether I should be a parent almost every g-d day.
Anonymous says
When my 2-yo is being insane with repeating herself, I just disengage. I sit down and start playing with one of her toys by myself, or walk away and do something else. She will sometimes tantrum, sometimes find something else to play with, and sometimes climb in my lap for mommy cuddles.
Your kid is not your boss. YOU get to decide how she gets to speak to you. YOU get to decide how you want your day to go. She is expressing her interest in a particular activity — very important to redirect or just don’t engage in the fight at this age, e.g., “yes! let’s go outside after breakfast and after the sun wakes up!” (Dora taught me that kids this age cannot remember more than 3 steps — so, (a) breakfast, (b) sun up, (c) outside.) Good luck though, this is hard!!
Anon. says
At 2, I don’t think you really “get” to decide how the two year old speaks to you. You can model behavior, sure, but impulse control won’t develop until she’s 3 or maybe later….redirecting and chunking the day is important, but I’m not so sure that thinking you can control the way a 2 year old speaks is healthy.
EB0220 says
I am often alone with my kids for a big chunk of the weekend, so it helps me to cut it into bite-sized chunks, like this:
7 – 9 am: Breakfast, get dressed, short video
9-11:30 am: Playground, museum, library, playdate
11:30 am – 12:30 pm: Lunch
1 pm – 3 pm (at least): Nap or rest time
3 pm – 5 pm: Inside or outside play
5 pm – 6 pm: Dinner
6 pm – 7 pm: Books/video
7pm: Start the bedtime routine
I will go outside with them whenever they want. Even if it’s dark and cold. Maybe not if it’s also raining. But we have outdoor gear for most any occasion and live in a moderate climate, so I just go with it.
Meg Murry says
You are completely not the only one – heck, I’m *done* with my kids on teh weekends after only a couple of hours when my husband has to work or is out mowing the lawn or using power tools and leaves me to deal with them for multiple hours straight on a weekend when we have no other plans.
In addition to all the other good advice, I’d focus on:
-physically wearing her out before naptime. Take her to a playground or activity that will let her run around so that when she crashes for naptime, she *really* crashes. Since the weather is getting colder, can you find an indoor play area, gymnastics class or perhaps take her to an indoor pool?
-Let yourself have nap time as downtime for yourself. Don’t plan to spend naptime getting caught up on chores or work – plan to nap, read a book, watch a brain candy show or otherwise just do something for yourself to get a little “you” time.
-Call in other resources. If this is going to be happening for the next several *months* can you come up with some back up adults? Perhaps a regular weekly “mother’s helper” to come play with the kid, or a Grandma or Aunt that would take her off your hands for a little while? Or join a gym that has a drop-off daycare area, etc. Do you have family that isn’t *too* far away that is more help than stress that might come stay for a weekend or that you and kiddo could pack up and go stay with for a weekend occasionally?
Good luck, and you are not alone in being frustrated by solo parenting every weekend. After all, even our best daycare teacher doesn’t do more than an 8 hour shift a day, for a very good reason.
Anonymous says
I am alone all day on Sundays too. What helps me is to get up earlier than my kids. This is so hard because I love to sleep in. But if I can get in a run or a workout before my husband leaves and be through a cup of coffee before the kids wake up, it sets a much better tone for the day. I also them pick one activity that we will do that day. (They are a little older, but this also worked when they were younger.) Sometimes it is just a trip to the park, sometimes it is roller skating, a movie, art projects, etc. I also plan lunch out and plan something to bake. (Cookies make the day better always.) We try to stick to somewhat of a routine so everyone knows what to expect and we have built in quiet time as well. It is hard and I still get frustrated sometimes, but having activities planned and low expectations really helps.
shortperson says
we are lucky in that in socal we can usually go outside and can always fill a weekend half day with a trip to disneyland, but when we do have stretches where we are stuck home for one reason or another, baking and babysitters are great.
we also follow the “RIE” approach recommended by janet lansbury (you can follow her on facebook) which emphasizes allowing your children to engage in self-directed play rather than entertaining them. her methods work for us. when we are at home (not for full weekend days) the two-year-old generally keeps herself busy with the random toys we have lying around. we dont ignore her for long stretches by any means, but we are often able to hang out on our laptops while she busies herself with her kitchen, crayons, etc.
Skirt Needed says
Hi ladies, any recommendations for a simple black maternity skirt for work? Thanks!
Anon in NYC says
The one I have is no longer available, but I had something like this. http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/rosie-pope-pret-maternity-skirt/3838701?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLACK
Anonymous says
I’ve been eyeing the Storq collection. Not sure if the skirt would be work-appropriate or not.
Edna Mazur says
I can’t decide if I want to be sick or binge eat Chicken McNuggets. Yay first trimester!
mascot says
Morning sickness isn’t like a hangover- you don’t feel better after getting sick. Or at least that was my experience. Keeping something in my stomach help though. Might as well try eating.