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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 80 Comments · by

Maternity Monday: ‘Ellie’ Ruched Maternity Dress

Maternity· Recent Recs

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A woman wearing a \'Ellie\' Ruched Maternity Dress.This dress doesn’t have any reviews yet, but I love that not only does it come in nine colors and patterns, but if you click around to see the different photos you’ll notice how it can look very different whether you’re wearing pumps or booties or even tall boots. I love this versatility — I think it’s a great example of how to take one maternity dress and style it in many different ways. If this version looks a little too shiny to you, this Ingrid & Isabel tank dress is similar — a little more casual and very highly rated, and it offers six colors in sizes XS-L. The pictured dress is $108 at Nordstrom in sizes XS-XL. Nom ‘Ellie’ Ruched Maternity Dress Here’s a ruched maternity dress in plus sizes. (L-all) Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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Comments

  1. CPA Lady says

    How do you decide which of your kid’s toys to get rid of when they’re too young to be able to help in the decision process? And how aggressive are you? I’m doing a pre-christmas purge. I know which toys she plays with frequently. Do I just get rid of the rest? I’m thinking about things like a pull along wooden dog on a string. Or the spill and fill bug jar filled with stuffed animal bugs. She’s not interested in these things at all, but I wonder if I should keep them for when she starts to play pretend, or do I donate them now? What about books?

    • mascot says

      I think kids get really overwhelmed with too many choices and they don’t see what they have so I try to be aggressive in my culling. I’d donate things that she doesn’t really play with – those pull along toys were more decorative than anything. If it something that you think she might like again when she gets older, store it for a little while and try again later. This is also a good strategy for toys that you are ready to trash (plastic junk that accumulates), but are afraid she will freak out when she realizes that they are gone. If she doesn’t ask after a month or so, it’s probably forgotten and can be tossed. For books, go ahead and donate them if they are things like board books. We’ve got a lot of books, but now he brings home books from school and the library that he would rather read. As far as pretend play, certain toys have a shelf life of years and are worth holding onto- dress-up clothes/costumes, toy instruments, and kitchen-household items type toys.

      • In House Lobbyist says

        I try to keep things that I think they will like in the future or that maybe they will want as adults for their kids. My MIL saved some transformers, star wars and matchbox cars of my husband’s and my son loves playing with them now. My mom saved a lot of my books – Sesame street, Bernstain Bears, Little Golden books and my kids have loved having them. So I plan to store the Melissa and Doug brick blocks, all wooden blocks, some legos and the Magna tiles once they are done playing with them. I think those are timeless toys and I have the space to store them. As for books, I purge ones that I/they don’t enjoy reading or ones that don’t really get picked up more than once. We have a ton of books but I can’t seem to part with most of them. But I am ruthless in purging junk toys and ones that just make noise. When my kids were little like that, I would keep a basket of toys in the tv room for them to play with and would rotate through every week or so.

      • Still deciding on a name says

        Ha! I’m using this approach with my hubby’s old clothes too! If he doesn’t notice the hideous shirt is missing after a month or two, I think I’m safe!

    • EB0220 says

      I put things away in a bin for a while. If they go a month or so without asking for any of the toys in the bin, I donate. With a younger child, you know they won’t ask, so I’d be pretty aggressive. Just don’t donate the toys when your child is with you! Even a younger kid will freak out.

    • PhilanthropyGirl says

      I think mascot has some great ideas. I’d add that I evaluate HOW my child plays with a toy. If a toy isn’t inspiring creativity, positive interaction, etc… it will find its way to a donate bin or the trash. Toys that cause a high degree of frustration are usually packed away for a few months to be pulled out again.

      I just cleared out my book stash – I put a focus on quality literature and books that can’t be easily found at a library. For example I passed on all my Berenstain Bears and Little Critter because they’re easily found at the library. But I have a lot of Margaret Wise Brown and Marjorie Flack that are out of print now, but are wonderful books – those I kept.

    • H says

      How old is your child? My son got a ton of things for his 1st bday that he didn’t start playing with, and weren’t developmentally appropriate, until recently (he’s almost 2). I would put them away and bust them out in a couple months and see if the novelty excites your daughter. FWIW, my son LOVES to pull the dog around the house now but he didn’t really know what to do with it when he first got it.

      I also try not to buy things that I know the daycare has. That way it’s different between home and school.

      • AnonMN says

        +1 to the pull along dog becoming a hot toy much later than I anticipated. My 3 year old is getting to a very “pretend play” stage and he loves to pull it around, feed it, make it sit, etc. I am glad that I didn’t purge a lot of toys sooner (trains, cars, etc.) because he is playing with them all now.

        We have enough space, and he has a younger sibling, so we just box and save things that aren’t currently played with. However, we are pretty strict about certain toys not sticking around for more than a few months. Toys with buttons/batteries get tossed or donated once he looses interest.

        • Pigpen's Mama says

          +1

          My LO is now starting to play with toys that 6 months ago she just ignored (she’s just over 2). It’s very much the “pretend play” thing.

          No idea how to purge, I’m awful at it. I have in the past tried to rotate toys, but a bunch of them came out without any others going back in.

          That being said, I did hand off a lot of the baby toys and younger versions of similar toys (e.g., she has a wooden stacker with different shapes, so the traditional plastic FP one went to a friend)

  2. CHL says

    TJ – I HATE getting dressed for work these days! I moved from more of a business formal to “less than formal” but a little more than casual and I hate wearing pants and I work with all men and it’s winter and all the stores have “work outfit ideas” that include bare legs and sleeveless blouses. Um, NO! I have no idea what to wear! Sorry, rant over. Is it Thanksgiving yet?

    • anne-on says

      Do you like skirts? I have a whole bunch of JCrew’s wool pencil skirts with sweaters for this time of year. Wool skirt, merino wool sweater/cardigan, or nice blouse+ blazer. Tights with either boots or heels depending on how awful the weather is. Swap out a few long sleeved dresses for some variation. Done and done (though I am thoroughly sick of this formula by April and dying for lighter clothes by then).

    • NewMomAnon says

      Black tights under skirts and long-sleeve turtlenecks under anything sleeveless, is my winter go-to. Also; lots of wool cardigans. Banana Republic brought back their merino wool cardigans (although a little different from previous years, sad face). I bought 4 of them in neutrals and am still rotating 4 colorful versions from previous years.

    • Lurker says

      Wear black leggings and knee high boots instead of tights under dresses. Super comfy and even if people notice, no one has said anything yet. Wear a blazer or cardigan over the dress if it is sleeveless.

    • CHL says

      Thanks for the support and helpful suggestions! I think I need new boots that are comfortable and stylish. I have one of each, but they’re not the same pair:) Appreciate all the advice!

  3. Momata says

    Hi all. I know this has been discussed on the main s!te several times but I’d value your input. I’m very young for my role and am frequently and explicitly assumed to be several rungs below my role. I sit at the table, am forward and confident with introducing myself, and try to project authority through my body language and voice. What else can I do to project more authority? I’m in my mid 30s.

    • Running Numbers says

      Not much advice, just comiseration. It’s hard to provide specific feedback without knowing more about you and how you present yourself. I recently finished reading “Executive Presence” and am looking forward to putting some things I read into practice. For myself, the importance of projecting calm is not something I considered prior to reading the book. When I get caught up in a project, I tend to err towards what I would consider passion but I think others read as stressed, which is definitely undermining.

      Considering just appearance, what I am wearing goes a long way in how I feel and how I present myself. I am almost always in blazers. Wearing anything else makes me feel like others will misread my position, whether that’s valid or not.

      I’m interested to see other feedback…

      • Closet Redux says

        +1. There are miles between cardigans and blazers when you’re trying to project authority. Time to upgrade to more structured pieces if you haven’t already!

    • NewMomAnon says

      How does it manifest that people assume you’re lower ranked? Are there frequent transgressors (40-50 year old men in my case, ugh)? Does it undermine your ability to get stuff done, or is it just upsetting?

      I deal with this in a variety of ways:
      – first, I know what I know and I don’t speak outside of that realm without some research or a gut check. I’ve gotten myself into trouble talking outside my wheelhouse, and I lose a lot more credibility than a guy would lose if he was similarly bs-ing.
      – I quickly assess whether a person is biased against me and I don’t hesitate to bring in back up if I need it; when I do bring in back up, I tell that person what their role is, I feed them information and positions, and I make it clear to people who need to know that this is the strategy. Generally, “insiders” at my firm know I’m smart as a whip and it’s just outsiders who need this treatment.
      – I care less. If a 50+ year old man who I’ll never work with again needs another dude to be the bearer of my advice, whatever. I’m not going to change his mind. We just need to get the thing done right.
      – I write up my conclusions before I go into a meeting, and I immediately e-mail out my notes to the people who need to know after the meeting so my message is the one that sticks.

    • Lurker says

      You could try mentioning your kids in conversation. I know women are frequently advised not to do this. But, I work with a woman in her mid 30’s that looks 16. Everyone assumes she is an intern. She casually started mentioning her 7 year old. When someone says “woah, you have a 7 year old!” she’ll reply, yeah had him at 27 which is young around here – or something like that. Then people realize she’s in her 30’s and not 16. It seems to have worked well for her.

    • TBK says

      Honestly if you’re young for your role, not just that you look young — so your peers are late 40s and you’re 35, for example — people who don’t know are going to assume you’re more junior than you are. I agree that wearing more authoritative, even older looking clothes could help, but you might need to just be more proactive about getting your title/role out there explicitly, and expect people to assume you’re more junior until they’re corrected. I mean this is a good problem to have — congratulations, you’re so talented you’ve apparently sprinted up the ladder!

  4. anne-on says

    Vent – my kiddos school is doing a special assembly for grandparents tomorrow, to which both sets of grandparents are going. So 4 people, plus kiddo, plus sitter, plus 3 teen age cousins will be at my home for lunch and dinner two days before thanksgiving. My husband is working late, and will basically be walking in the house just in time to sit down to dinner. I’d send them all out to eat but due to fixed retirement incomes it isn’t possible, and we’re already hosting thanksgiving so it isn’t really feasible to foot the bill for 10 people to go out to eat either. Arrrrrggghhhh.
    Send wine and well wishes.

      • H says

        +1! This would be my strategy. And maybe it is my strategy just for the 3 of us a couple times a month…

    • Walnut says

      Soup and/or sandwiches for lunch followed by lasagna and a pre-packaged green salad for supper.

    • NewMomAnon says

      This is what pre-made trays of sandwiches and lasagna are for….a sandwich tray for lunch, and a lasagna and a couple of loaves of frozen garlic bread, some big bags of salad, boom. Done. Use paper plates and cups. Husband gets to do all the clean up since you’ll do all the prep.

      • mascot says

        +1. You can even get the fancy salad kits (or make your own). I’m always surprised at how well received comfort food meals tend to be. People are just happy to not be cooking themselves and will chow down on whatever you give them.

    • Katala says

      Ugh, I would not be happy at all with this. I’m sorry. Taco bar? A couple frozen lasagnas and bagged salad? I would put as little effort into this as possible.

    • Anon in NOVA says

      +1,000 to the suggestions here. A big ol’ stouffers lasagna with a bagged salad and frozen garlic bread is my go-to for when I have to have family over when it’s not convenient. Hang in there!!

    • Anonymous says

      Lunch = sandwich trays from grocery store/bakery

      Dinner = couple jars of premade tomato sauce and ground beef – simmer while you set table/ boil water for pasta + open bagged salad.

    • PinkKeyboard says

      I vote a diy sandwich bar (buy a few different rolls/breads, lettuce, a bunch of different cold cuts, onion, tomato, spreads), sides (potato salad, fruit salad?) for lunch. Frozen lasagna and green salad for dinner. Easy, low effort. Definitely paper plates, cups, plastic cutlery.

    • In House Lobbyist says

      Chili made in crockpot? I made a tomato soup from Iowa Girl Eats last week that was great and super easy. It was essentially just chicken broth, jarred tomato sauce and cheese ravioli cooked in the soup for a few minutes. Soup and sandwiches?

    • anne-on says

      Thank you all! We have a fabulous deli literally 5 minutes from our house, just placed an order for sandwich trays and salads for lunch, I don’t know why that didn’t occur to me. I can manage a big batch of pasta with sausage/greens for dinner with garlic bread. Appreciate all the advice and commiseration!

      • Meg Murry says

        Are any of the family members actually helpful and capable of cooking?You could make up baked ziti or similar tonight and have them put it in the oven for tomorrow, if that would help so you aren’t trying to cook with 10 extra people in your house tomorrow.

        Good luck, sending virtual wine!

        • anne-on says

          Sadly no. The running joke in my house is that I learned to cook out of self-preservation. And my in-laws are worse cooks than my family (though my MIL is a decent baker). The kids will all be in charge of setting the table and clearing up though, so that will be helpful.

      • Anon in NOVA says

        FYI, I did my grocery shopping on my lunch break (with a cooler in my trunk thanks to a tip I read in a book recommended on this site) and this thread inspired me to pick up a big frozen lasagna and garlic bread for tonight :) Hoping there’ll be leftovers for lunches and dinners between now and thanksgiving.

        • Katala says

          Oh, cooler in the trunk is a great idea. I’ll have to see if there’s a way to make cooler + stroller fit. Great for transporting frozen items the 15 minutes from Costco to home in the summer, too.

  5. Walnut says

    Any recommendations for decaf coffee brands? The decaf version of my favorite local blend is a huge no go for me. It just tastes like a weak, watered down version of the regular coffee.

  6. TBK says

    Parents of older-ish kids, when did you find the irrational toddler tantrums to taper off? And by that I mean, for example, a complete freak-out because the peel is OFF the orange and cannot go back on even though this toddler explicitly asked for the orange to be peeled, but is now adamant that the peel must go back ON and, no, a new fresh un-peeled orange does not fix the problem. (Just, you know, as a hypothetical, not something that actually happened at lunchtime yesterday. And, yes, this is Twin B again. Elmo-toy-thrower B. Who also insisted on singing his brother to sleep at naptime today because he was told that A has a cold and doesn’t feel well. But, yeah, B.) The boys are now 2 and 3/4, so hoping we’re hitting peak tantrum, but not holding my breath.

      • TBK says

        Okay. I hear lots of great things about 3. I mean, 2 3/4 is pretty amazing, tantrums notwithstanding, but I hear 3 is fantastic. Also terrible. But I think I’d prefer defiant behavior to totally irrational behavior. I don’t do well with irrational.

        • Anonymous says

          Three is still a pretty irrational stage. 4 or 4.5 before they can be reasoned with.

          Don’t focus on the rationality aspect too much. Acknowledge why they are upset (peel can’t go back on orange), emphasize that Moms can’t fix everything, offer a hug, and redirect to new activity/food/toy. Repeat endlessly. Sigh.

          B singing to A is totally sweet.

          • TBK says

            Thanks. Unfortunately the redirect is almost entirely useless with B now. It has to be really, really good (watching the Elmo dinosaur episode is sometimes, but not always, good enough). What makes B trying now is going to make him incredible when he’s older, but sometimes the trying is just so trying.

        • Anonymous says

          NOOOO. 3 is the worst. So much worst than 2. I hear 4 is better…

          • Carine says

            +1. 3 was terrible. 4 has been better. She still has a lot of STRONG FEELINGS about how things should be done, but more and more frequently she uses her words and we get through it without an all-out tantrum.

          • Beth says

            My kid was awesome at 2- none of the irrational tantrums at all. BUT 3 was pure misery, ALL THE FEELINGS and MODINeSS and DRAMA. Ugh.

            So I think it’s kind of lick your poison; mine potty trained at 2 and had a wonderful year. She’s almost 4 and has finally mellowed out. 3 was like 13 with all the tears, all the time.

          • Betty says

            3 is 2, but with timing and just enough logic to make you think that you can reason with the child but not enough to understand that the peel cannot go back on the orange.

            My oldest is 5 and still has the occasional tantrum, but those can be traced to being tired, hungry, scared or stressed (you know, life). I find that I can actually reason with him, so maybe 4 is when they turn that particular corner?

          • mascot says

            Three is full of drama- that’s why they are called threenagers. Four had moments of drama and illogical behavior, but it’s much more boundary testing (the f-you 4s). They get better at self-calming and also at naming what’s bothering them.

        • lsw says

          We’re not there yet but your orange story reminded me SO MUCH of hanging around my cousin’s 2 year old this summer. We were all eating corn on the cob and that piece was not perfect. So he got another one. That one was “wrong”. Then he finally got a perfect one but it was….”too heavy.”

          Hang in there like a kitten on a branch! It won’t last forever.

        • Anon says

          My niece is 3 1/2 and my sister had to step away from a phone call this weekend because my niece was having an epic meltdown because she needed to know right that minute what the pictures on her leggings were (it was the Eiffel Tower and Statue of Liberty, if anyone is curious). She had been wearing the leggings for 10 hours.

        • RR says

          3 is both fantastic and terrible. Fantastic in that they can explain a lot more and can put words to their feelings. Terrible in that they are so.much.more.stubborn. at 3 than they are at 2. I have a 3 year old, and there is no getting her to cooperatively do something that she doesn’t want to do. I’m constantly negotiating. 3 is worse than 2 in a lot of ways. And 3 still has meltdowns; but, in my experience, they tend to be fewer.

        • Anonymous says

          Piaget pretty much proved that kids aren’t rational until 5. So, don’t get your hopes up.

          Kids will begin to understand the rules of reality more — peeled can’t be unpeeled, cut can’t be uncut — at three. But all the screaming about that sort of thing is actually your kid learning. As far as a two year old knows, you are magic — you can read, make a car go, make food hot, make zippers stick together, make phone calls and on and on. He literally doesn’t know the limits of your capabilities. And it is both upsetting that he can’t have the things he wants and that the things he wants are not possible and that you have limits of what you can provide him. As an infant you could satisfy every need he had and all kinds of wants. And when he was upset, he couldn’t sustain his attention long enough to truly have a fit.

          So, developmentally it’s all good. (But of course the psychologists who say that don’t have to watch your kid.)

    • Anon in NOVA says

      I seem to remember mine becoming a human again some time around 4 years old. Hang in there!

    • EB0220 says

      I say about 4, but they do still occur when kiddo is tired or getting sick.

    • Meg Murry says

      I agree with age 3 and age 4, but also that it shifts. There is less asking for the impossible (put the peel back on the orange! Un-cut my sandwich! Un-mix my fruit from the yogurt!) after age 3, but in 3-5 there is a lot more insisting on things that they know are possible that but that are against the rules or not possible for you right now or that you’ve told them no about (I want fruit snacks and candy for breakfast! I know you’ve told me no every single day for the past 3 weeks, but one of these days you’re going to crack! I asked for a red crayon but this broken one won’t do, I know my big brother has perfect ones in his school supplies and I’m going to ask about it every 2 minutes for the next hour. Yes, I know I said I wanted macaroni and cheese for dinner, but I meant the kind they sell at the hot foods counter at the grocery store, this Kraft won’t do, even though last week I told you I hated the hot foods one and only wanted Kraft.)

      Plus, you also learn to cope with it better, even if it seems a bit like pandering to your kid. Like, yes, is it ridiculous that *every single time* I make my 4.5 year old a sandwich, when I bring it to the table I bring the knife with me and ask him if he wants it cut today? Yes – but that extra 30 seconds of catering to him and allowing him a little bit of choice over something so easy for me to do is better than dealing with the fallout of a 30 minute meltdown or me catering to him by making a new sandwich that is cut in squares not triangles.

      I’ll see if I can find the link, but I remember reading years ago on either AskMoxie or Amalah/alphamom (or both) about a thing where kids basically lose their sh*t at 2.5, 3.5, 4.5, etc, then calm down, then go through another phase again around their half birthday – and I’ve generally found that kind of pattern to be true.

      Long story short – it gets better at 3, then threenager-y in a different way, then better at 4, then annoying again, repeat repeat.

      • Meg Murry says

        This isn’t the exact link I was thinking of, but it does say part of it –
        http://askmoxie.org/blog/2012/11/qa-45-year-old-children-are-bananas.html

        And I don’t know if it’s exactly every half birthday for my kids, but since they are opposite seasons it does pretty much always seem like one calms down and becomes rational right when the other is going through some kind of phase that makes me want to pull my hair out, and just when I’ve started to figure out how to deal or the kid finally figures out they aren’t going to win, they flip places and I’m doing battle with the other kid.

      • hoola hoopa says

        +1 to Meg’s analysis on age 3. Spot on.

        FWIW, *I* find the irrationally toddler freak outs much more tolerable than the intent-to-crush-your-will face offs of a 3.5 year old. But the ‘put the peel back on the orange!’ types of things really do (pretty much) go away around that third birthday.

  7. Need Wardrobe Help says

    I’ve tried digging around on here a bit already, but I’m not really finding exactly what I’m looking for. Does anyone have recommendations for an office-appropriate maternity dress that actually falls somewhere near the knees? I’m 5’7″, which isn’t crazy tall, but almost all maternity dresses seem to hit 3-4″ above the knees. I love the look of the Isabella Oliver Ivybridge dress, but it’s jersey which just is too casual for my office. Anyone know of something similar in ponte or another heavier fabric? My ideal maternity wardrobe would be 5-7 dresses that I just rotate with various blazers and cardigans so I don’t have to think too much when getting ready in the mornings. TIA!

    • Anonymous says

      Honestly, I’ve had good luck with the Liz Lange for Target brand (I’m 5’8″). They aren’t always as dressy as I would wear pre-pregnancy, but they do for this time with blazers and cardigans. Also that Patti Boutiq or however you spelled it dress from Amazon recommend here a couple of weeks ago by Kat is long enough for me, too.

      • POSITA says

        I’m 5’7″ and they were long enough initially, but became waaay too short during third tri. (Like if I raised my arms, you could see my underware.)

    • Anonymous says

      I had lots of similar problems. I’m 5’9″ and found the Leota “Perfect Wrap” dresses are actually long enough (some of the other Leota styles are not). Seraphine was not long enough for me. I have one Liz Lange for Target that also is long enough, but that one was advertised as a “midi” dress so it may be hit or miss.

      I also find now that it’s winter and I can wear opaque tights I feel more comfortable wearing dresses that I would otherwise consider too short for work.

      Finally, aside from heathered colors (see the comments on the main s!te about the heathered jersey blazer today), I think jersey could probably be dressed up enough with a blazer/jewelry to be office-appropriate.

    • CHL says

      Obviously you know your office best, but while I agree that most jersey is too casual for a formal office (and a lot of maternity clothes are crappy jersey) but I wore Isabella Oliver wrap dresses for a big chunk of my pregnancy and if you pick the right colors, I thought they looked nice enough. Your standards might change as you approach the third trimester? Also, always wear a slip? I also had an IO maternity blazer that was AWESOME and I wore probably 2 – 3 x week.

  8. Anonymous says

    My 17 month old has just started pushing more boundaries lately. A few days ago he tried to climb on top of the coffee table, but I managed to redirect him, and he (temporarily) forgot about it. Then yesterday he did it again, and my husband immediately reacted to it – first with too much of a negative reaction, then with laughter when my son kept trying it over and over. It became a battle for 20 minutes or more after that. I tried to ignore him to let him know he wouldn’t get any special attention from the behavior, but he was so excited that he was doing something funny/off limits, that he was “running” in place on top of the table like a tiny crazy person, and I was worried he’d fall off and break his head open. So then I started saying “feet on the floor” over and over trying to redirect him (by pulling him away from the table over and over again, with as little “drama” as possible), but he kept going back for quite some time. I’m worried he’s going to start it up again tonight or sometime soon. And then who knows what other naughty/dangerous thing will be next. How should I react next time? I’m worried that a strong “no” will only intrigue him further, but I haven’t tried it much with anything else, so I don’t really know. What are the go-to response strategies with toddlers his age to keep them from wanting to do dangerous things over and over? He’s a climber and would probably enjoy trying to climb up on anything else he can once he figures out what he’s capable of, and I think he’d want to do it whether we overreacted to it or not — but I know that probably made it worse in this case. Just worried about the next time. When do toddlers have a sense of their own mortality? Does he need to fall and hurt himself before he’ll have any fear of it in the future? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

    • NewMomAnon says

      Soo…..spoken as the mom of an almost 3 year old who figured out how to push her craft table anywhere in the house and climb on all sorts of shelves, counters, dressers, etc. this weekend….pulling him off will do nothing, and redirecting to normal everyday things will do slightly more than nothing. Engaging him in something WILDLY entertaining and silly (like, mom pounding on pots and pans while dancing with a bowl on her head, or a giant tickle fest that carries you all the way to another room) might work.

      I would also try to explain your worry. Get down to little guy’s level, look him in the eye, and say very calmly that you don’t want him to climb on the table because you worry that he will fall down and get an ouchy. Big ouchy! Scary! *imitate crying* So no climb table, no climb. And then when he climbs and falls…very calmly tend to his wounds, and repeat, “Big ouchy! Scary! No climb.”

    • CPA Lady says

      This doesn’t answer your question, but I have a climber and the first thing I taught her was “feet first. not face first” She is going to climb the second I have my back turned. I would rather she land on her feet and fall than land on her head. Knock on wood, it has worked pretty well. She has even safely gotten off of my bed, which is taller than she is.

      And no, nothing is going to stop her. She has fallen so hard (from kicking over her chair at the dining room table) that she cried so hard she threw up. I don’t know how she didn’t break something. She still climbs. I don’t think a sense of mortality kicks in until age 5 or 6. So I’m trying to teach her to fall carefully.

      • Katala says

        Mine is not an especially brave climber, but we’ve been successful with teaching “feet first,” starting with climbing off our bed. He’s now pretty good about that, and will do it getting off the couch (and tried to slide off his dresser/changing table feet first! yikes). But yeah, no success with getting him not to climb. He’s going to fall, sometimes it will hurt, but we try to let him explore to the extent we don’t feel his in great danger.

        One thing we’ve found is if we let him do something he’s super curious about, he often gets over it. So in your case H and I would stand around the coffee table and let him climb and stomp and get it out of his system. Although I think that approach would have to result in removal of said table if it never got out of his system.

    • AnonMN says

      It sounds like your first step is exactly what worked for us (eventually). We found this age warranted less of a long explaination and more of a direct request to do some thing. So “feet on the floor” “get off the table” “hands off” were more effective than “don’t touch X” “don’t climb Y”. I *tried* to give him a chance to actually do it before removing him myself. And then redirect with something wildly exciting as NewMomAnon suggested. But honestly, impules are so high at that age to DO ALL THE CLIMBY THINGS and you will just have to repeat yourself ad nauseum (and follow through with the taking him down and redirecting) until it finally clicks.

      Another suggestion, can you just remove the table until he grows out of it? This was our best strategy.

      • Betty says

        Agree with AnonMN. We would (still do) try and give the positive (“feet on the floor”) as opposed to the negative (“get down”). It took many many repeats with no emotion attached. It is normal for little ones this age to test, test and then test again. Just keep repeating. They are testing limits and seeing where your limits are (including emotional limits of patience). The other piece that can help is that the moment they do even the slightest motion towards what you are asking, praise them like crazy.

        In terms of learning mortality, somewhere between 3 and 5?

      • Anonymous says

        +1 on the second paragraph! You can’t always control your child’s actions but you do control their environment at home. I would remove the coffee table for a few days so climbing it is not an option.

      • Meg Murry says

        With the caveat that my kids weren’t crazy climbers, but friends kids are :
        do you have anything in the house that he *is* allowed to climb on that you can redirect him to? For instance, my friends finally gave up and put one of those plastic Little Tikes slides in their living room so they had something to redirect their climber to that was allowed, rather than him constantly trying to climb the bookshelves. Or if you don’t want something quite that large and plastic-y, perhaps something else he is allowed to climb on (and perhaps jump off) like a small ottoman, etc?

        But whatever you do, DON’T assume that you’ll be able to deter a climbing kid by just putting things higher. My MIL still tells the story of how she found my husband sitting on top of the fridge at around age 2 or 3 because he saw her hide the cookies up there and he figured out how to climb the drawers and cabinets to get to them.

    • Anonymous says

      Our pediatrician would probably say that this warrants a time out. The cycle would go something like this: he tries to climb, you tell him to stop. He tries to climb again and you tell him to stop. He tries to climb again, and you pick him up, put him in his crib, and leave for a few minutes (like 2 minutes). When the time is up, you go in, pick him up even if he’s upset, put him down and let him go play without any sort of comforting or discussion. Repeat the cycle as necessary. (Caveat that I haven’t tried this because my 18-mo old has not yet done anything that I felt was really dangerous or so boundary pushing that a time out was necessary.)

      • Anonymous says

        We started time-outs for dangerous activities about 19 or 20 months. Dangerous = danger to self, others, or wrecking the house in ways we can’t avoid by baby proofing (I.e. pulling on the blinds). Our doctor’s office gave us kind of hilarious step by step instructions for time outs, and it works relatively well. The moment he does something dangerous, whisked off to his crib for a short time (1 minute at this age), without loveys.

    • Anonymous says

      Feet on the floor was actually really good. Like textbook good. Lots of times adults just tell toddlers what not to do, but don’t tell them what to do.

      So saying feet on the floor is better than don’t climb. Giving a bunch of ways to interact with the table is good to (we hide under the table! We stack blocks on the table. We play peekaboo around the table. Etc.)

      If possible, redirect the climbing. Oh! I see you want to climb. We don’t climb on the table, but we can climb outside on (whatever is in the backyard. We actually had giant landscape boulders when I was little.)

      Also you need to sit down with your husband and explain how he screwed that whole thing up and he better be brushing up on his first aid.

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