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I’m always a fan of MZ Wallace, and this small, lightweight shoulder bag looks perfect for work, playground or beyond. It even has a crossbody strap! Swoon. It’s $345 at Nordstrom, available in teal and black. MZ Wallace ‘Small Roxy’ Shoulder Bag
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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Paging TBK says
I’m in the DC area and have been working with developmental specialist Dr. Chris Wallin since my son was born – you may have seen her recommended already on DC Urban Moms; I know she is popular on that site. She is a Ed.D and was formerly with VHC, but now I believe she has transitioned solely to her private practice called Kid Koncepts (kid-koncepts dot com), where she works with another Ed.D who is an autism specialist. Although I am not sure she or her partner could give a diagnosis, they might be a helpful resource in terms of directing you to a doctor who could see you more quickly, and also generally serving as a resource in the interim until you’re able to see a doctor. I have felt so fortunate to have been working with Dr. Wallin – she is fantastic; while I don’t have any experience with her partner, I have to imagine that anyone she would choose to work with would be good too. For reference, my son is a preemie, but I credit her early involvement with averting or lessening a number of potential issues my son could have or has faced. Also – I’m wishing you the best as you move forward with the process.
TBK says
Thank you! I’ll look her up. And thank you to everyone who posted yesterday. It seems like every time my husband or I interact with our son, we come away thinking the opposite of whatever we thought the last time (Yay, he was really engaged and said some words! Boo, it seemed like he wasn’t looking at me at all!). Ultimately we’re lawyers and have no idea what we’re doing in this area, but it’s just so frustrating when it’s your kid. Thanks for all the suggestions. I’ll keep you posted.
BKDC says
Can anyone recommend a cheaper alternative to this bag? Looking for something big enough to carry a book, wallet, phone, etc., but is also appropriate for work. I have the smaller Lo and Sons bag (OG?) but it seems just a bit too big for my frame for everyday use. Shoulder bags are too cumbersome to deal with when I’m trying to also corral my son at daycare pick up.
NewMomAnon says
I don’t have a specific bag in mind, but have you done any searches on Ebags (dot) com? I wanted an attractive leather backpack and was able to use their search function to find one that converts from backpack to shoulder bag (strap is long enough to wear cross body too) . I think mine is a Latico brand and the leather is soft and pretty.
Anon. says
I posted last week about a recruiter contacting me with my dream job opportunity, but being 30 weeks pregnant I was afraid to apply. The response here was overwhelmingly to go for it! So I did… I met with the recruiter yesterday who was visibly annoyed and almost downright nasty to me for not informing her I was pregnant since “I obviously wasn’t right for this job”. I tried to tell her that this job seemed amazing and I could be flexible on my start date, but she basically said that she couldn’t even submit my resume to the company. Ugh.
Anon says
It is illegal to discriminate against a pregnant person. It totally happens, but most companies have enough sense to disguise it. FWIW, my sister got her last two jobs while she was pregnant (both were management roles in a very small, conservative community), so not all companies are like this. Don’t let a bad apple discourage you – you were still totally right for going for it.
Sfg says
WOW. Does she work for the company where the job is offered or a recruiting firm? If so, and depending on your actual feelings, your industry, moon phase, etc., I’d really consider complaining to both the company/firm and the EEOC. because that is just bullsh*t. (but not sure if it’s worth being blackballed over, of course.). Makes me really angry.
TK says
Her loss! Sounds like her short-sightedness made her overlook a potentially great candidate.
If you’re feeling strongly about her behavior, you could drop a line to her boss or even to the company (along with your resume) and say she refused to consider you even though you’d be available to start within 4 months – not at all unheard of for key leadership positions for reasons other than pregnancy.
This sucks and I’m sorry it happened to you.
anon says
Can you apply without going through her? Although, if she finds out about it, she may try to “claim” you for purposes of her fee. You would need to be prepared to argue that she refused to submit you
I also have friends who have gotten jobs while in third tri. Unless the company is refusing to accept any applications for a candidate that can’t start in the next “x” weeks, this recruiter seems like an idiot.
Anon. says
I know the company itself couldn’t legally discriminate against me, but since she works for a recruiting firm, I wasn’t sure if it was still illegal for her to not pass along my resume. She said something about her company being ‘full disclosure” firm, so I should have told her ahead of time. She had asked me to come meet with her for a meet and greet and to review my resume… I didn’t realize I needed to tell her over the phone, but I guess she thought I was wasting her time. I had asked her over the phone what the hiring time frame was, but she couldn’t give me an answer. I work in a consulting/project based industry, so I can totally understand not being considered for a 6 month project position… but this project is projected to last 6-8 years… so what is waiting another few months?
Anon says
If you asked about the starting time frame and she refused to tell you, that is on her, not you. I don’t see anything in your post that suggested you were obligated to tell her you were pregnant.
TBK says
Ridiculous. If it won’t hurt your reputation, I would consider asking to speak with her boss (if she’s not the boss) or contacting HR at the client company. They should know if someone is behaving this way. If I were the client, I would fire the recruiting firm. Both on principle and because I’d be angry that they’d screened a candidate on something unrelated to job performance.
JJ says
It’s still illegal and the company could be liable as the recruiter is acting as their agent. If I had recruiters blatantly discriminating against qualified applicants for open positions, I would absolutely want to know about it.
I would contact the company and just tell them as an FYI what the recruiter told you. If they have any sort of HR/Legal department, they will act on that information.
MomAnon4This says
+1 Even if you’re not sure, please take a few minutes to call or email and do it for all the other pregnant & job-seeking women out there.
TK says
Think about reporting to the EEOC as well. They’re all about this right now, with new guidance issued just a few months ago:
http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/guidance/pregnancy_guidance.cfm
quail says
That is a very helpful link – thank you! I’m going to pass it on.
OP says
Thanks… My husband was firmly in the camp that I should have disclosed before the meeting. So I was starting to second guess the whole situation. I plan to follow up with her today to see if she did in fact actually submit my resume or not, before I proceed with anything.
Anonymous says
Please update us on Monday.
Anonymous says
I was hired for a dream job after I had had my baby. Was turned down from two other jobs though while pregnant. Sometimes people need to see you come out the other side. I would consider complaining as what that recruiter did was illegal and offensive.
Anon says
I have a shower I have to attend on my husband’s side of the family when my baby will be about 4 weeks old. Guest list is about 40 people and the expectation will be to pass the baby around, as this would be the first time most guests would meet the baby. I am going to check with the pediatrician, but I am leaning towards leaving the baby with my mom since the baby won’t be vaccinated (and this is a community that largely thinks flu shots are “dangerous”). MIL is probably not going to like this plan, so I would like a reality check if I am being crazy.
anon says
Nope, not crazy at all. Especially if you know there will be folks there who have not had flu shots. Ped will likely give you cover if you want (“My ped has said it’s unwise to expose such a young baby to so many folks before s/he’s had her/his vaccinations”) in case you need a more official response for your MIL.
Haters gonna hate, but nothing is worse than having a little one come down with something. I’m pretty laid back about that kind of stuff (took newborn babies on the subway and public buses, for instance), but when you know people and their grimy hands are involved I think it’s fair to say no dice. Also good practice at laying down your rules for your kid(s).
Batgirl says
I don’t think that sounds crazy at all. Do what makes you comfortable!
Pogo says
If you invite people to come see you/your baby, and ask that they be healthy/vaccinated, that seems perfectly normal. I don’t think if you are invited to something you’re in any way obligated to bring your child.
I come from a very small family, though, and they’re also all really reasonable about being healthy/vaccinated. I’m sure if you’re worried about MIL being let down, she will be (you know her best :) ). But you’re trying to keep you and baby healthy and 4 weeks is so little!
Preemie Mom says
Do.not.bring.your.four.week.old.
You’re not being crazy at all. MIL may be angry, and will have to get over it. Leave the baby with your mom. Also, regardless of what your pediatrician says, blame not bringing the baby on your pediatrician – it will make it much easier for MIL and rest of family to swallow. However, I know my ped recommends (even for non-preemies) not to take them to large gatherings such as this during cold and flu season (at all – but if you must, she says wait until after 2 month shots). We actually made a blanket rule that no one but immediate family was allowed to come see baby until after his two month shots, and we asked all immediate family to get flu and Tdap before coming to see him – I’m glad everyone agreed very willingly, because I’m not sure what I would have done had they refused (probably said they couldn’t come, which would have cause a huge family fight).
It was easier for me to do stuff like this without angering people, as I could play the “preemie card” (which isn’t really a card – our doctors legitimately told us to keep him away from things like this due to risk of colds and even RSV being harder on his less-developed lungs than a term baby), but what I always keep in mind is you have to do what you think is best for your baby’s health, regardless of what others (even close family members) think about not being able to see/meet/show off baby.
AEK says
Do NOT bring the baby. You’re not being crazy, it would be crazy to bring a 4-week-old. It’s not just flu shots— TDAP boosters are required for anyone who is going to be having contact with the baby at that age. And do you really want to be in the position of asking 40 people you might not know well to please wash their hands?
Save your sanity.
Also—you said you “have” to attend but I think anyone should get a pass at 4 weeks postpartum (if you were not otherwise inclined to attend a social function at that point). I hope you’re not getting unfair pressure. Some babies nurse every 45 minutes so if you were to breastfeed it might not even be possible to leave such a young baby for long enough to attend.
JJ says
I agree. I would be tempted to claim “cluster feeding” and just stay home with the baby.
Meg Murry says
+1 Unless this is your best friend forever who just happens to be your husband’s sister/aunt/cousin, decline with no guilt because you have a 4 week old at home. You will probably be exhausted and your own immune system won’t be operating at full strength, and you do NOT want to bring the flu home to your family.
Also, don’t forget that unless you have a scheduled c-section, the due date is just an estimate – at that point you could have a 6 week old or a 2 week old and the baby still would have been considered full term and on time.
All that said – we had extended family Christmas (30-40 people) at my house with a 6 week old, and it actually was great because my family did all the work (cleaning before the party, brought all the food, etc) and I didn’t have to worry about schlepping baby stuff to someone else’s house and I could just take the baby upstairs to his own room for naps or privacy. So if the shower is nearby and you could handle it, you could invite a few people like aunts to stop by your house before or after the shower.
Katala says
+1 on not bringing a young baby. Also on not promising to bring yourself. My delivery wasn’t complicated, but I did have stitches and at 4 weeks was juuuuust starting to be ok sitting for long periods without breaks to lay down and/or use an ice pack. Recover varies so much. Plus, just as your baby could be 6 weeks or 2 weeks old – you could be only 2 weeks into recovery. I would not have wanted to attend any type of gathering at 2 weeks.
Can you recruit your husband to adjust expectations? Something along the lines of “Anon is superwoman and will want to go no matter what, but I feel it’s my job to make sure she’s taking the best possible care of herself and baby, which could mean missing the event this time” could at least prepare MIL for the possibility of you and/or baby not attending.
OCAssociate says
+1
sfg says
Not crazy, not only for health reasons, but also bc that many people will likely overwhelm your baby. Won’t be fun for you if you have to sit in a quiet room calming/feeding the baby.
NewMomAnon says
Yup – during my baby shower when my kiddo was about 12 weeks old, I ended up awkwardly nursing a freaked out, overwhelmed newborn in an uncomfortable guest bedroom at my MIL’s house while all my guests hung out in the living room. No fun at all. Bring lots of pictures and blame the ped.
layered bob says
don’t bring the baby. People aren’t going to like it (we had lots of hurt feelings/comments about being “selfish”) when I wouldn’t pass the baby around at Christmas) but it’s not their baby.
MomAnon4This says
If it’s before April, just point out that it’s still cold/flu season and better safe than sorry.
Lie and say you’re getting over a cold.
Sneeze on them.
Lkl says
We had 50+ people over for baby’s bris, so on his 8th day of life, and just didn’t let anyone hold him except immediate family who had washed their hands. If you decide you need to bring the baby to the event, consider just wearing the baby in a wrap the whole time. At 4 weeks baby is likely to either be put to sleep by all the hubbub, or to need to eat frequently (like, eat for 45 minutes every 2 hours or less…), so may not be awake or able to be passed around anyway.
Meg Murry says
+1 to planning to wear the baby in a wrap the whole time if you absolutely can’t get out of going and will need to bring the baby
RDC says
Not crazy, and seems like a really good and reasonable precaution. Especially if it’s flu season (but even if it’s not). We took our baby to a wedding at about that age and were really stressed about it – fortunately people understood and generally admired baby from a distance. But agree it’s better to leave with a sitter if possible.
MDMom says
Not crazy. Also, at 4 weeks postpartum my hormones were such that watching 40 acquaintances pass around my baby would have made my skin crawl.
Anonymous says
I skipped a friend’s shower. Like, my best mom friend because I knew she was inviting mom friends who did not vaccinate their kids. We have never discussed it other than a sorry- not exposing my kid to that (with no judgment for her exposing her kid to morons, the unfortunate children of morons and their germs) We brought a really good gift over at a layer point and we remain friends. People understand choices even if they don’t agree with them.
Midwest Mama says
::sigh:: Just need to vent…. We’re TTC #2, no period in sight, tests negative but I was on antibiotics 3 weeks ago, which could have delayed ovulation. DH has been super busy and not home til late, so it’s just me and our 4yo who WILL NOT sleep. Hasn’t been to bed before 11pm since before xmas and I am not a night owl. Now I have a sore throat and feel like I’m getting sick again (see above re: antibiotics which were for a sinus infection) and I feel like I may have a ye@st infection or something similar. GAH.
Famouscait says
I know you said you just need to vent, but I thought I throw out the idea of witchhazel wipes. They can help me clear up that feeling of is-it-a-yeast-infection-or-what? I have no idea if they’d work on the 4yo’s sleep habits.
Katala says
Internet hugs! At least it’s Friday, so hopefully you can get some well-deserved rest.
Anonymous says
I am really sorry about the miserable time you’re having, but… I am ~9 weeks pregnant and the first month or so of my pregnancy (before I knew it. I had to take a pregnancy test before a chest x-ray because my period was already a week late. It was negative then, positive a week later) was basically exactly this, right down to the maybe yeast infection. So, fingers crossed everything gets better soon and your next test is positive.
also lol @ Famouscait. If witchhazel wipes work on kids’ sleep habits, I am buying an industrial pack. :)
NewMomAnon says
From the files of “seat of my pants work-life balance”: I have an article that is WAY overdue, and asked a junior associate to work on it. Drop dead date is Monday. He e-mailed me last night (late) to say that he has to back out of helping me and hasn’t done any work on it. I was mad but OK with that for a moment, because my mom was coming this weekend to stay overnight with us. I figured I could go to the office for a few hours and crack it out while she watches toddler, but then she called and backed out too. And my daughter woke up twice last night for no apparent reason, so I got nothing done on it last night.
Part of me wants to cry, and part of me wants to laugh hysterically until they give me a quiet white room and a straight jacket. The rest of me is madly scrambling to turn out something that is approximately worth publishing.
MomAnon4This says
You’re doing great. I forgot my laptop at the office last night. So I feel you.
Batgirl says
I’m due with our first baby in a few months and trying to sort through what registry items we need and which items we don’t. I’m sure this is a “depends on your baby” situation, but do we need/want both a rock n’ play AND a swing? This is the swing we registered for (http://www.buybuybaby.com/store/product/ingenuity-convertme-swing-2-seat-in-orson/1045432811?skuId=45432811®istryId=542874960) but now lots of friends are saying we should have gotten a “rock n play.” What do you all think?
Famouscait says
Both. We used a rock-n-play type thingy for sleeping, and then added in the swing later. I bought and sold it on Craigslist so I didn’t have to worry about storing the swing. Lordy how I wish my 15mo would still chill in a swing…
TK says
Yep, get both. You can carry the rock and play from room to room, which is great for a sleeping baby – and/but the swing helps soothe the baby enough to get them to that sleepy state. At least it did with ours.
I would highly recommend finding a swing that plugs in or at least has a plug in option – you spend a small fortune on batteries otherwise.
MomAnon4This says
I heard don’t get a swing because then your baby will get addicted to it.
If you get a chair/rocker and find your baby won’t sleep there, or the crib or the… whatever else gear, then you get a swing. And pray.
pockets says
every baby is different and my advice is the complete opposite of this. I would have given up my right arm (OK not my right arm but maybe a smaller, less important toe or something) for the swing, and my baby never got addicted – we used the swing every day for morning naps (which I defined as the two hours from when my husband left for work until I was ready to get out of bed and face the world) until 14-16 weeks, and then transitioned seamlessly out of it once the nap became more established. Baby never got addicted and it was a lifesaver.
mascot says
Same. Swing was amazing, our kid napped in his from birth until he was 4-5 months old. He slept in his crib at night and at daycare. I happily let daycare work on crib daytime napping . Once he outgrew the swing, we went to the crib for all sleep.
The bouncy seat was a meh- he didn’t love being down on the floor, it didn’t move enough, and I didn’t love that he was in prime sniff/slurp zone for the dogs.
debda says
We had a rock-n-play but not a swing, but many people swear by swings. Rock-n-play was useful to have somewhere to set the baby down when he was too little to sit in a bouncy seat and didn’t want to be on the floor. We didn’t use it at night or much for naps.
Batgirl says
Thanks, this is helpful! Someone already gave us the swing so I think we’ll keep it for now, but I’ll add the rock n play to our registry as well!
sfg says
We had both – RNP from the start, swing was a craigslist purchase at about 10 days. Although I was plenty worried that my kiddo would be addicted to the swing, when she would not sleep we put her in there because it calmed her down right away. She ended up being fine. She slept in the rock n play until about 4 months and the transition out of that was fine, too.
Jmm says
I have this swing, and my baby doesn’t really like it. It really doesn’t swing that well, and it more of s seat than a swing. I would register for the rock and play and a true swing (like the fisher price snugabunny or the mamaroo if that is in your price range).
TBK says
I just wanted to come here and thank all of you for not being crazy, terrible people. I wound up on DC Urban Moms yesterday for the first time in awhile and OMG that place. Posts like “you would think that, you stupid cow.” And that was not completely atypical. Thank you for being a completely rational, fairly non-judgmental, considerate place to ask all the insane questions that come up when you’re responsible for the health and well-being of tiny people (while also trying to maintain a career, a household, friendships, family relationships, and often a marriage).
MomAnon4This says
+1
I liked the DCUM listserve. Never went to the Facebook group. But if it’s like most Mom’s Facebook groups… oy.
Love it here. Y’all are great, smart and Get It.
AEK says
That’s ghastly!
I recently joined a Facebook group for parents in my area, and have gotten some decent information from it. But I have noticed that a large majority of the posts are in this format: “Hi Mamas! I desperately need [expensive, involved service like electrical repair or a partial bathroom remodel]. Can anyone recommend someone who will do it for me for $10 and a sandwich and is available immediately?”
Anonymous says
Can I echo this? It’s so great to be able to ask a question here and get reasonable answers from smart women. I had to Google something (I know, I know) and one of the responses was “You can only trust a doctor, I only trust someone with a PhD!” (she meant an MD, of course) and another one was about how you can take any medication you want because “I smoked for all four of my pregnancies and they are all fine; they tell you there’s low birth weight but they just want to control you.” There are some real crazies out there.
hoola hoopa says
I’m no where near DC, but I’ve heard of the horrors of the DC Urban Mama’s group.
AEK, I laughed out loud at your description of your local group posts! So true. I see a lot of “Does anyone have (specific baby gear) in perfect condition to give me? Because I’d rather tell a long winded story about something slightly resembling hardship and have someone give me exactly what I want for free than go buy it.” I mean, I’m a huge fan of hand-me-downs, but my eyes are constantly rolling.
Registry questions - swing and diaper bag says
Hi all, first time pregnancy here, and I have been asking questions here and there along the way (thanks for the advice about nursery items at reasonable prices last week!) I would love to solicit opinions on two questions: 1) how much do you recommend registering for a swing? I hear some people swear by them, etc., and others say they never had one. We are interested in saving space in our small house but if we are likely going to end up wanting one anyway, I’d rather put it on the registry upfront! 2) diaper bags – what do you use, what do you love? Obviously function is important, but also want it to look chic/put together/stylish (as far as possible) – I am thinking of it as a Mom accessory, not a baby accessory. :) Willing to splurge somewhat since it will probably be a gift from family. Thanks!!
TBK says
1) Consider buying a swing on Craigslist. They’re crazy expensive new but only about $30 or $50 used. They’re amazing for the newborn fussies, but they outgrow them by about 6 months, so not worth a splurge in my book. 2) I just use a tote bag with one of those diaper inserts (ours is Munchkin — it’s a changing pad with pockets for diapers and wipes that folds up like a clutch). I have two “real” diaper bags, but just never use them.
sfg says
+1 for used swing. We bought and sold at the same price ($60?). Really helped my sanity.
I have a Skip Hop diaper bag but at a year in I think a diaper clutch in whatever bag you prefer is just fine. And at some point, sadly, I will probably use a backpack instead (so much easier when you are walking, but so very uncool….).
pockets says
+2 on the used swing.
And hey I think my backpack is pretty cool! I could never get into a diaper bag (which to me seems like the less trendy option but to each her own). Diaper clutch is invaluable. Baby is almost 2 and I still use it every day.
sfg says
I’m not hip enough for the backpacks that are trendy now (the canvas/leather ones) so I’d probably be rocking a 15 year old Jansport. ;)
pockets says
Where I live in Brooklyn, a 15 year old Jansport might be one of the coolest ways to schlep around your baby stuff :)
sfg says
Ha! Maybe I’m cooler than I thought.
quail says
We used a regular, small backpack and it worked fine. My friend had a specific diaper-bag-backpack that she liked (had a cooler section for bottles, matching changing pad, etc). I am not cool, but the backpack was great when front baby wearing.
anne-on says
I too did not want a swing (apartment, limited space, had a bouncy seat already). Wound up with a supremely fussy baby and had it overnighted to me when he was 3 weeks old just so I could shower/make dinner without a squawling infant. Best money I ever spent. If it helps, get one that can be easily disassembled and runs on a power cord. Its easy enough to sell it later if you need too.
I really liked the kate spade diaper bags. They were cute, had a nice large built in diaper pad, and they do go on super sale every few months, I think mine was maybe $100? Nylon is the way to go, you haul too much stuff around to add the extra weight of leather.
Katala says
We’re also in a small apartment and never got a swing. Our Rock n Play plugged in and had auto-rocking, vibration and music. That was plenty, and it folds up super easily. Maybe try something like that and if it’s not enough, there’s always amazon prime.
I have a skip hop diaper bag that I like, but never use. We ended up with that and a “diaper dude” messenger bag for DH and it’s just too hard to keep them both properly stocked. Latest effort is keeping my bag in the car and his in the house for non-car outings. Before we had the car, I just threw the diaper clutch in the bottom of the stroller.
anon says
You won’t like this answer but I’d advise waiting on the diaper bag until the baby is here — try out all the various bags you have and see what’s missing. Turned out we preferred a random Target shoulder bag we already had. All the diaper bags marketed as such were too big.
NewMomAnon says
I’ve heard good things about the Lily Jade bags. They have inserts that can be removed so you can use the bag as a purse and then drop the insert back in when you are out and about with the baby. You can also swap the diaper insert between the bags. I think one or more are also backpacks, which would have been so nice when I still carried a diaper bag.
Otherwise, my only advice is to try your bag before committing. I got a JJ Cole one that was too big and too boxy, so it banged against my legs and wrapped around my body when I walked. Hated it and ditched it quickly.
MDMom says
I had a little infant swing handed down by a relative- they don’t take up much space but also have limited range of motion and turn off after an hour. We didn’t use it much. Baby didn’t care for it. There’s just no way to know until baby is here.
As for diaper bag, we have one of the back pack ones. It’s fine but I’m not sure any regular backpack wouldn’t do just as well. I avoided the tote ones because I wanted it to be not girly. Wanted to send the message that it’s as much for my husband as me.
hoola hoopa says
+1 to used swing if you decide you want/need one.
We had a very small house for our first two kids and did not have a swing. We all survived, but I admit that I was super jealous of my friends who had one. That said, I never got a swing for our third child, even though we moved to a house big enough. FWIW: We had a travel one which didn’t take up space, but the motion and position is very different and not equivalent. Rock and Plays didn’t exist then, but I’d use that as a substitute instead.
Our diaper bag is not what you are looking for. It’s fabulously functional but not fabulously stylish. I had a cute one but decided that it was much better to have one that my husband would also use, and maintaining two diaper bags was just too much hassle (for us). It’s like a messenger bag without a flap, with bottle pockets on the side (also great for toddler cups/snacks, keys/phone, etc), and an adjustable shoulder strap (great because I like mine over the shoulder and husband prefers crossbody).
Anon in Boston says
I am not sure why but I keep trying to post this and it gets caught in moderation. I am looking to get life insurance and am not sure how to begin my search. Does anyone in MA have suggestions on contacts and/or companies? Also, how did you assess how large of a policy to get? We are expecting our first baby in the summer (I wish I had done this before becoming pregnant!) so I realize this may impact things. Thanks in advance for any advice!
Pogo says
We went with a policy through DH’s company – they offer supplemental life to their employees, so it’s a group policy and cheaper than going on your own. Interestingly (we live in MA) it was the Minnesota Life Insurance Company.
I think we both get 3x salary automatically through work, but I can’t remember how we did the calculation for the supplemental policy. I think most companies give you a calculator, which allows you to put in debts (mortgage), number and age of children, etc to help you calculate. I remember it seemed like a ridiculously huge number (millions and millions of dollars) but then I thought about how I would possibly manage life without my husband and it didn’t seem like so much after all!
NewMomAnon says
One thing that I had to decide was whether to do “whole life” or “term.” Term literally lasts for a set number of years and then disappears. Whole life often has a cash value, so some people treat it as an investment.
Term insurance is not very expensive – I pay $110 a month for a $2M 30-year policy. Whole life was massively expensive; I forget the number but it would have seriously impacted our lifestyle. I think it would have been about $700 a month for my (then) husband and I combined? We opted out of the whole life, under the rationale that we would have sufficient amounts in our retirement accounts by the time our term insurance ended to cover the surviving spouse.
We had a (fee based) financial advisor at the time, and he proposed the dollar amounts. I know there was a reason behind the numbers, but I don’t remember it anymore. Probably something about paying off all liabilities plus a certain number of years of salary (expected, not actual) and a certain number of years out of work or with diminished work schedule for the surviving spouse, to accommodate raising a child as a single parent.
And term life insurance is usually more expensive in a group policy than for an independent policy, because the premiums go up for different age brackets in a group but are locked in from the start on an individual policy.
hoola hoopa says
We got ours through the financial planner for my husband’s firm’s compensation package. It’s a personal (not through employer) plan. We did all debt (mortgage, school loans, etc) + 1 year salary, with the idea that if something happened to one of us, the surviving partner could trudge forward with a lowered household costs and enough supplemental income to adjust to new budget and/or take extensive time off work.
anonymama says
Term life for sure. It’s cheap and it’s what you need. Don’t get suckered into buying whole life – there are few people for whom that is a good idea – for most it’s a ripoff.
You want to think about the number of years you’ll want the coverage. I think most common is 20 or 30 years for people starting families.
Amount: Better to overinsure than underinsure. A typical recommendation is 10x your annual income (individually), which I was really opposed to at first because it seemed excessive, but then we calculated how much we would want/need to pay off house, finish raising our kids, missed income for surviving spouse to take time off to be with kids, etc…and it ended up being fairly close to that estimate. If thinking about this makes you at all anxious, my advice is to go with the recommendation and a standard term, and just get it done rather than face analysis paralysis and end up doing nothing (I speak from experience.).
Best way to buy assuming you are average or low risk is to go through a broker to find the cheapest deal; this is a commodity product and you should ask for 3 quotes and compare the prices, the term. I have used and recommend:
– intelliquote dot com
– term4sale dot com
Anonymous says
We used SelectQuote, which is like a giant comparison shopper. It was mostly painless and easy, matched with a company and provided other quotes, and then we followed through with an individual agent from that company. As for dollar amount, we live in a fairly HCOL area, and our mortgage is about $450k. Our employers have something like 2x salary as a standard benefit, and after baby #1 we each got private 20 year term insurance for an additional $1 million. It’s really cheap. I don’t have #s in front of me, but I want to say my annual premium is a little north of $1000 (I had some bad paps that drove up the cost, I can reapply once the last one was 5 years ago and maybe it will go down again), and my husbands is only around $700. We were healthy late 20’s nonsmokers without any death-defying hobbies when we bought the policies. We haven’t updated after baby #2, but probably should after baby #3, because daycare and college.
Anonymous says
Baby is 13 months old. Should I transition from formula to whole milk?
Anon says
I think most doctors would say you certainly can by 12 months, and you will save money, so why not?