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Oooh: hot dress from Motherhood Maternity — Macy’s has it in red, while Motherhood Maternity itself has it in both red and an abstract black-and-white print. I like the asymmetric fold detail and the pleating at the top of the dress — it’s a nice way to add some visual interest without drawing too much attention. The dress is $39.98. Motherhood Maternity Draped Sheath Dress
(L-5)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Lyssa says
My turns-3-this-week (eek!) son is going to be a ring bearer in my brother’s wedding next week. He’s really smart and usually takes instruction well, but I’m worried that he’s going to get nervous and upset when the big event comes (as he did when he realized that we were actually putting him on Santa’s lap yesterday). Any tips for preparing him? We’ll do a rehearsal the night before.
mascot says
Can you plant a parent/relative at both ends of the aisle? Can he come down the aisle with someone? I think that if you hype it up too much, it will make him nervous (Santa is a lot of pressure to remember a list).
Lyssa says
That would probably help. I’m supposed to do a reading, so I’m guessing we’ll be sitting somewhere near the front and easy to get up from. What’s the usual order for the flower girl and ring bearer? If he can walk with or follow right behind the flower girl (his 6 year old cousin, who he adores), it’s probably going to be a lot easier.
mascot says
I’ve seen several weddings where the flower girl and ring bearer went down the aisle together. I think that would be just fine.
kc esq says
In a low-key way, I’d drill down the message that “You get to help Uncle [Brother] by carrying the pillow up to him [or whatever he has to do].” My kids love to “help” and feel very adept at it, so I think that would make any task seem more comfortable and like less of a pressure-filled assignment.
Anonymous says
We had a 3 y/o ring bearer (he may have been 3.5 but he’s very immature). We just made it no big deal. He and I stood at the back of the church, I gave him the pillow and said “go bring this to uncle X (DH)”. DH gave him a little wave and off he went. If he froze, my MOH would have gone up behind him as she was next in line and held his hand.
I think the flower girl thing is harder at that age…liklihood of successful petal throwing = low.
Preemie Mom says
My MIL took my niece (around the same age) to a church to practice a number of times before the big day, and that seemed to help – even though it wasn’t the same church we got married in. My MIL and her mom also talked it up to her a lot – how cool it was going to be, how special it was that she had that role, etc.
TK says
Performance expectations for a 3 year old are pretty low – whatever he ends up doing (or not doing) will be adorable. Do what you can … have a ‘fake’ ring on the pillow, walk down with older cousin, have uncle kneel down to his eye level as he’s walking towards him so it doesn’t seem so scary … but he’s 3 so there’s always a chance things will go awry. Heap praise upon him during the rehearsal and then cross your fingers and hope for the best. Good luck!
Spirograph says
My favorite part of any wedding is whatever the ring bearer and flower girl do… I don’t think anyone expects a young kid to follow the directions perfectly, and that’s half the fun. Don’t stress about this at all! Worst case, he bursts into tears before he gets started and you or your husband has to go rescue and carry him to the end of the aisle. See? That’s still adorable.
POSITA says
I would also prepare the bride for some chance of 3 yo randomness. Perhaps walk through a few scenarios with her and see how she’d want you to handle them. Does she want you to intervene and take him out right away or is she happy for silly kid stuff to take center stage during the processional? Would she want you to carry him down the aisle if he won’t walk or would she rather just to have him skip walking altogether?
My 2 yo is in a wedding in two weeks and I’ve already told my sister that there is no promise on what you’ll get. She may walk beautifully or she may sit down and try to take her shoes, tights and panties off in the middle of the aisle.
TK says
During my wedding, my 3 year old niece (flower girl) announced during one of the quiet moments, “Daddy, I have to poop.” At least she gave a heads up.
In House Lobbyist says
I am just glad to hear that my 2 year old isn’t the only one obsessed with taking her clothes off all the time.
Meg Murry says
We decided we didn’t want to chance a meltdown by the kids, so we had my kids escort my mother and grandmother down the aisle instead. Then they also weren’t expected to stand up front but could sit in the front pews with Grandmas.
If the wedding is going to be fairly traditional, can you watch some youtube clips of processionals? Or maybe there is a PBS show with a wedding? We tried watching a clip of a Sesame Street wedding, but it was really old and my kids didn’t recognize most of the characters.
Just whatever you do, don’t give the 3 year old the actual rings – that is asking for disaster.
Lyssa says
Oh, great idea! He LOVES YouTube.
Edna Mazur says
Bribe him. I found out afterward that my four year old nephew woke up the morning of our wedding and said “I’m not doing it.” His dad said he would give him $10 when he came back down the aisle. Kid was a little pro. His mom was a bridesmaid so he got to stand by her while up front, that helps too.
Anon says
I recently lateraled into a new biglaw position – and just found out I am pregnant. Ah! This wasnt exactly planned – we have a ten month old and were just not having the conversation yet. I am nervous about telling my job (in a few months). I get full maternity benefits but it feels ifffy. I would have been trying in around four months anyways though. Would love encouragment though.
Also, 18 month age difference between siblings? Fun for the kids right?!
Anon says
OP here, also remember! You CAN get pregnant before your cycle begins again! Which is how this happened… oops! We are overall very excited though.
JJ says
My kids are exactly 18 months apart (to the day). I got pregnant with the second in basically the same way. It’s hard the first 6 months. No lie. But now they are inseparable and play together all the time. They’re also almost the same size, so I don’t even have to sort clean clothes :) It gets better!
Aunt Jamesina says
My husband and his brother are 19 months apart and they’re BFFs. It’s still adorable.
Anon says
Aw thanks JJ and Aunt Jamesina. I realized that my brother and I are actually 17 months apart as I was posting this… but then again, we are VERY different. I’m hoping for a second girl for the reasons y’all gave. But oh my gosh, also just posting to get my head around this news!
JJ says
We have similar timing, too. I realized I was probably pregnant on Christmas day, and ran to Target the following day to get a test and confirm. I cried when it was positive, and not tears of joy. My husband was jumping up and down happy and told me it was the best Christmas present I could ever get him (awww). That made me cry harder, because I felt guilty for being sad that I was pregnant one month after weaning.
All that to say, you’ll wrap your head around it eventually.
Anonymous says
My brother and I are 18 months apart. We were bffs when we were little and are still very close. So, it can be great for opposite s** kids too!
Edna Mazur says
Congrats! Mine are 15 months apart. You’ll be exhausted but its a lot of fun for all as well.
POSITA says
Any suggestions for a maternity half slip? My dresses and tights all stick to my tights and cause horrible bunching. I think the featured dress today would have that same issue.
Anon says
Any suggestions for weaning baby from the bottle? My little one is going to be one in two weeks. We depend on the bottle at night and for his one nap, sometimes in the morning if he’s extra cranky. Also use it when he occasionally wakes up at night, though he sleeps through the night pretty regularly. Otherwise, he is a good eater and doesn’t need the bottle throughout the day.
EB0220 says
Just curious… How long did it take after weaning to have your period return? My kiddo has been weaned for a month and a half, and still nothing. (Pregnancy tests are negative, so it’s not that!)
anon says
Mine never did! But then, yeah, pregnant…
TK says
3 months, and the first one was a doozy – I went to the dr after going through 20 super-plus tampons in a 30 hour timeframe. Turns out my thyroid was screwed up which may have be partially responsible, but Dr. also said first period after weaning can be heavier than normal.
JJ says
Same. And I remember thinking with that first one back “This is my payment for being period-free for so long.” It was pretty awful.
EB0220 says
It took 2 months after I weaned my first, but I always assumed that was partially because my thyroid, too, was messed up. This time, my thyroid is perfectly normal (just saw the endo last week) so I guess my body just needs some time to gear back up.
Anon for this says
That’s an interesting tidbit re your thyroid. My period has been a complete doozy ever since I weaned. An absolute river frankly. I thought it was normal for it to be heavier and “different.” But maybe not?…
Anon in NYC says
I’m still nursing and got my first at around 5.5 months… and yeah. It was intense. It was slightly more manageable the second time around, but it was still pretty heavy. Way heavier than I had ever had pre-pregnancy.
RDC says
Have been wondering this myself. Down to two nursing sessions a day (12.5 months pp) and still no sign of it.
Katala says
Man, mine returned 8 weeks pp. yeah, it was a doozy and I wasn’t 100% sure it wasn’t just more pp bleeding (until 4 weeks later, ugh). I wish it waited till weaning!
anon says
two months
Anon E says
Hi ladies,
Have you ever considered becoming a stay at home mom? What was your internal dialogue like? Why did you eventually decide to continue working? I ask because I am a first time mom to an 8 month old, and I am a big law associate. My husband is an even bigger law associate, and I’m starting to wonder if I should seriously consider staying at home. I know I need to think about both short and long term benefits/consequences, but just wondering what kinds of discussions you may have had with yourself and/or your spouse if you ever considered staying at home.
Maddie Ross says
It seems to me that the first consideration should be do you want to stay home? Not just because it’s difficult to have a two lawyer family, and not just because your husband is in “bigger” law than you, but because you really feel that for you and your family, being home is the best option AND that’s what you personally want. What do see your life looking like in 5 years? If you have any interest in being a lawyer still at the type of firm you are at now, that should impact your decision. If you don’t – if you see your career taking a whole different turn – that should be something to consider too.
Amelia Bedelia says
I thought about it for a few seconds. I also considered going part-time. My husband was a BIG fan of me going part-time or quitting altogether. In the end, I pulled back a bit from work (not billing crazy hours), but am still “full-time.”
We decided this was the right answer for our family because:
1. I truly love my job. My kiddo is getting bigger and some days I really want to stay home with her, but honestly, i love what I do and i love the people with whom I work. I would miss it so much if I quit. I am also SUPER competitive and know that if I went “part-time” in name, I’d work far more than that in actuality. And I don’t relish the idea of working for free.
2. I recently made partner and going part-time would seriously derail the trajectory of my career. As it is, I suffer from working “less” but I am still full-time, so I’m growing as a partner — just not as quickly as I had previously intended. But I decided I’m okay (most days) with taking longer and making less for a little while to keep myself fully in the mix at home and at work.
3. My husband discovered that he was so “for” me staying home not because he thought women should stay home, but because he really believed that one parent needed to be more “present” in the day to day. He was raised in a lower income family and his parents worked several jobs just to put food on the table. So, he felt they were never around. He didn’t want that for our kids. But we discussed it and he actually was pleased when I suggested he go part-time or take a few years off. He honestly never considered it an option. He is part of a minority group that prizes men working and being the breadwinner and has a lot of dead-beat dads. He somehow thought I would consider him a deadbeat if he took time off. We discussed it and I shared that I felt that was the best gift to give his children if he could do it — because raising your kids while pushing pause on your career is the opposite of dead beat dad! So, he works 55% now and loves it.
4. realistically, it made more sense for my husband to take a step back than it does for me to do so because I outearn him by double. Also, he is in a field where reducing one’s schedule for several years doesn’t negatively impact his growth trajectory.
5. we live in a HCOL area and, honestly, we could not maintain our current lifestyle if I quit work. And that was important to me. Maybe it shouldn’t be, but it is.
6. I don’t love the day to day of being at home. I don’t love cooking or organising or cleaning. And I’m not the type of person who can outsource when I stay at home. So, husband does most of cooking and we still outsource cleaning. it works well for both of us.
Faye says
I know I would be deeply unhappy after about one year of staying at home (I’m an extrovert who takes a lot of pleasure in promotions and raises), so it was never really something I considered. My husband’s industry is not friendly to leaves of absence so he never considered it either, but honestly he would be better suited, temperament-wise.
But don’t do the math on whether YOU make enough to work and cover the cost of childcare. Your income is not the sole amount covering childcare – in reality, the first working parent is covering costs for family and home, and the second working parent either allows flexibility or income to do extras, depending on what makes more sense for the family. Think about it as if your husband were a single parent: clearly he’d have to work to cover mortgage, food, and school/childcare. (And vice versa of course.) Don’t fall into the trap of devaluing your worth just because you have a v*gina.
anon in nyc says
I’m in a similar boat…big law associate, husband is also but more senior/makes more $$. We have a 14 month old and the last six months at work have been absolutely brutal for me (working on a large transaction, have had to make lots of supplemental childcare arrangements to bridge the gap with nanny). However, I also know that I would be miserable being at home full time without some childcare help. We’ve crunched the numbers and I’ve decided to stay put for now, hopefully get one more maternity leave out of big law (definitely the best part of big law by far!) and then think about shifting to an 80% schedule or leaving altogether. by that point, we will have enough saved and my husband will be making a big enough salary to justify some part time child care even if I do stay at home. This would absolutely be my choice. Husband is on board to hire whatever extra babysitters we need for me to maintain a full time big law schedule…but I just don’t want to long-term. I’ve really missed seeing my daughter regularly these past few months.
hoola hoopa says
My husband and I have both had periods of being a stay at home parent and plenty of discussions about it (it’s possible that one of us will be again in the future).
Considerations for us (in no particular order):
Desire: Are you happy with the relationship you have with your child? Would you prefer to be home rather than at work? Do you like your job and/or see a future in it?
Finances: Can the family afford to live on one income? Is child care costing us money (ie, Daycare Costs > Income) and are we willing/able to pay it? What would be the effect to benefits (insurance, retirement, etc)?
Logistics: Does it simplify our lives? Are there activities that we want to do that we can’t get done (with kids or otherwise) when working full-time? Are there activities that we cannot do if one parent is home (due to income, time away from home, etc), such as afford preschool?
Career: What would re-entry look like? How would networks be maintained? How would long-term career trajectory be affected?
MDMom says
I haven’t seriously considered staying home full time because I think it would be bad for my mental health/self esteem and for our marriage. I could tell that by the end of my 4.5 month maternity leave. I also dont like being financially dependent on my husband- bad for me and bad for our marriage.
However I do plan to go part time in the future when we have more than 1 kid and my husband finishes residency and fellowship. Husbands job is and will be pretty demanding but also lucrative. I want to be able to spend time with my kids when they’re small.
I don’t think I could sustain a big law job with my husband also in a demanding career. I work for the government in a fairly 9-5 position. But just be sure to consider the options in between (ways to step back without stepping out). I think most people who have been successful in big law would have trouble adjusting to being a full time stay at home parent. My mother in law stayed at home with her kids and I think she really struggles with lack of purpose and identity now that they are adults.
I guess I’m just saying consider the many different ways it may affect your life and identity. I have a 7 month old who is getting more fun and interactive by the minute. I’ve definitely had fantasies of quitting to spend more time with him. But I remind myself of all the reasons it would be unsatisfying in reality- the biggest thing for me is that I know it would kill our marriage.
first trimester blues says
I’m only 8.5 weeks, but it has been a rough one so far. It’s my first pregnancy, so it’s hard to know what’s “normal” (from what I understand, everything and nothing is). I have been so sick all the time, so tired all the time – it’s making me feel a little depressed. I am not taking my migraine meds so I’ve been having headaches occasionally, which takes me mentally back to a period of bad depression when they were out of control. It’s tough feeling so unproductive at work, and heading home every night to crash on the couch. I’m so sick of TV and the couch! I’m 35, so I don’t know if that’s just taking a toll on me or what, but I keep telling myself in a few weeks it’s going to get better….right??
Mainly just posting my woes because we haven’t told many people yet, and it feels really alone. I’m a person who blames myself for taking “me” time, so it’s been really hard to watch my laundry pile up, watch my husband do all the dishes, look at my pile of Christmas cards that haven’t been sent….ugh. It’s been a difficult time.
Anon says
I went through a rough patch in the first trimester and scoffed at people who said the second trimester was so much better, but it really was (sadly the third trimester has been a little rough, though). For migraines, talk to your OB about an alternative. I had to stop taking naratriptan but my OB prescribed Fioricet which worked for me. There are safe options so there is no reason you should be suffering through them. Try forcing yourself to exercise, even if it is just a walk – it will do wonders for your energy and mood. And if you can’t manage it and end up on the couch, just accept it – it’s temporary and your body is growing a human. Read, assemble a registry online, or anything else that can help you to feel a little productive while not actually having to do anything.
RDC says
I did not like fiorecet, but my neurologist prescribed Vicodin for migraines while pregnant. Made me barf but helped with the headaches. I only had to take it a couple of times – the headaches went away 2nd tri. It does get better – hang in there.
MDMom says
The fatigue will pass. Did you also quit caffeine? If so, I’d consider adding back a small amount. Just enough to get you through. Go to bed early. Google morning sickness remedies and experiment. If it’s really bad, talk to your doc about meds. It won’t last forever. Hang in there!
hoola hoopa says
Ugh, yes. The first tri with my first was SOOOO BOOOORING and frustrating. I’m sure I drove everyone up the wall with my ranting about not doing anything yet inability to get off the couch.
The fatigue really will improve. I felt a lot better about it after reading that the first trimester causes a surge of dopamine, which explained why I was falling asleep at my desk despite all the sleep and rest.
Talk with your doctor or pharmacist about options for your migraine medication.
anonymama says
I’m there with you, except this is my 3rd. I swear I don’t remember it being this bad the first two times, but the mom-nesia is pretty real.
I think the fact that you can’t (won’t) share with anyone adds a level of stress – because it doesn’t really seem real if no one knows about it. At least that’s how I feel.
It does get better (it must! I have only memories of loving pregnancy and I do not love this phase) and you have to remind yourself what your body is doing is amazing. You are making a human! Reading about what’s going on in your body might make you feel better (e.g., baby center or a legit book, but not what to expect because there’s too much of what can go wrong and who needs that right now). Go easy on yourself.
anon says
The fatigue and feeling crummy are INSANE, or at least were for me, and I just didn’t do much of anything for weeks/months. Spending so much time at home on the couch did make me feel pretty blue. What helped was to try to remember it was normal; there wasn’t anything wrong with me because I felt so tired and worn out — I wasn’t a worse person because of it, even if I was more tired/sick than someone else I knew who was also pregnant. There’s a reason for it, and it’s not your “fault.” Seems obvious but I kept forgetting that!
OP says
Thank you, everyone….I was needing some virtual hugs and cheers. I so appreciate it!
DNA Testing says
Prenatal DNA testing has only recently been made available in my country this year, so doctors´experiences are extremely limited. Is it standard/ common in the US? Did you test for everything possible and your results turn out to be reliable? How early/ late did you test? And did you test without any specific medical reason or after an iffy ultrasound? Apparently, doctors in my country do not offer testing before 14 weeks, and only reluctantly if the 12-weeks-ultrasound looked ok.
anon says
Mother of a 10 month old in the US. It was never even discussed. I had a very normal pregnancy though.
anon says
But it’s definitely not “standard” or even “common,” I know that!
Lyssa says
It was presented as something standard to me for my second, though I’m not sure whether that might have been due to my age or not (I turned 35 during my pregnancy, but they never mentioned that and presented it as something that had become available since my first). It was just offered as an option at the initial visit and we said sure, and the nurse went over whether our insurance would cover it (it did).
For us, there were no danger signs or concerns; it was just to get the extra layer of reassurance, I guess. I’m not sure what the specifically screened for, other than the trisomy disorders. The test was done at 10 weeks and we got the results around week 13. We also got to learn the sex early, which was exciting (though if I were to do it again, I might just wait until the 20 weeks scan, since that gives you something to look forward to during the mid-pregnancy slog). It was sort of weird to already know the sex when I was announcing the pregnancy. (And, I’ll add, everyone was surprised by that, so maybe it was just my provider that was doing this routinely.) The test showed low risk for everything that they screened for, and it was reliable (that is, baby is perfect).
Good luck to you on yours!
MDMom says
You’re talking about the maternal blood test like harmony ? I think it is becoming standard in the us if you are over 35. Insurance usually won’t cover it unless you are over 35 or there is some indication that there may be a problem.
I didn’t have it but we considered it. Doctor was willing to prescribe it if we wanted to pay ourselves. If I recall correctly it can be done anytime after 10 weeks. Usually it’s done at end of first trimester in lieu of the cheaper first tri screenings.
hoola hoopa says
In my experience (3 pregnancies at 2 clinics, all normal and under 35), it’s standard for practitioner to raise the topic to discuss options and timing. We’ve always declined. I don’t know what percentage of mothers do test.
EB0220 says
When I was pregnant with #2 in late 2013, it wasn’t standard in my area (NC). Harmony was offered to me because my husband has a cousin with Down Syndrome. The results were accurate for our little girl.
Butter says
Standard offering in my ob gyn’s office for all patients (and I’m in my early 30s), and insurance fully covered it with no questions asked. My doc said that it has gained much more traction in recent years and she expects it to increase in popularity/commonality as more and more insurance co’s covers it. In her practice she said 30% chose to take it, 30% chose the other testing options (I don’t even know what those are, but whatever is standard for Down’s Syndrome testing?), and 30% chose to forgo testing beyond what they screen for in the 20-week ultrasound.
We chose the test because it was super easy (quick blood draw), quick results, and highest reliability for determining risk (keep in mind it does not diagnose problems, just lets you know if you’re at a higher risk. If you are, you proceed to other testing options). We came back low risk on everything, and had them mail the sex results so we could open them on our own terms. Personally I’d recommend it to anyone, if your insurance covers it. It wasn’t treated like a big deal and we didn’t stress out about it, it was just one more information-gathering step in the first tri.
LC says
I’m in the US, and was 34 when I was pregnant. At least in my part of the country (CA), DNA testing for anyone over 35 is standard. Most of my friends who were offered it decided to do it. I didn’t qualify at 10 weeks because I was too young, but I wound up having the test done later when the 20-week ultrasound showed a potential problem. The test came back negative for all trisomies and confirmed the sex. It was accurate.