Everyone Thursday: ‘Siren’ Teardrop Earrings

Does anyone have an amazon fire just for their kid to watch movies or play games? We are about to take a family vacation that will involve a full day of air travel both ways. I’m thinking of getting an amazon fire for the kids to share. Or maybe it is better to get each their own? We have amazon prime and netflix, and my kids are past the point of stickers and snacks being a sufficient distraction (3 and 6). Any other good distractions or entertainment for a long day of travel?

Hi ladies! Hope I’m not too late for today’s thread.

How do you bring up big-picture parenting questions with your spouse? There are a few things about my husband’s parenting style I would like him to change, but not sure how to bring it up in a way that’s not “you’re doing it wrong.” I read parenting books (and the discussions on this s!te) so I feel like I’ve picked up approaches that he has not. E.g., the “happiest toddler on the block” approach has been super helpful in heading off tantrums, but hubby hasn’t read that so he attempts a distraction approach (let me pick you up and swing you around), which doesn’t work. He thinks by saying things like “toddler is sad!” We are actively encouraging him to feel sad. Likewise, hubby may not respond to toddler’s requests (more milk) and ignores toddler’s protests (saying no to hugs etc) and I feel like that undermines our attempts to get toddler to use his words and that we should respect his autonomy.

The only non-accusatory way I can think to approach this is by saying “I’ve been reading this interesting book..” but that puts the burden on me to accurately summarize and convince hubby it’s the “right” approach. I’ve tried suggesting books or articles but he usually doesn’t read them. Any other suggestions for how to have these kind of talks?

Basically, I want us to be on the same page about how to approach these issues, since they’ll only get more challenging (e.g. when the need arises for disciplining toddler) but not sure how to have the conversation, especially since I acknowledge coming into it feeling like my approach is the “right” one (or at least the more informed?).

(Hubby is a great dad, but I think just hasn’t put a lot of thought into these issues / is much more about being the “fun” parent.)

Congratulations to you! That is awesome news – truly. I’m sure you deserve this and don’t lose sight of that — pat yourself on the back big time for this recognition.

I will happily talk you down. It IS all going to be fine! You should definitely act as if your pregnancy, maternity leave, and new (expanded) responsibilities at home as a mom have no bearing on any promotion or future plans the organization has for you. It’s just a temporary pause. I know workplace discrimination is real, but I also think many of us self-sabotage a little (hard to help, we’re exhausted and sometimes don’t WANT to stay on the same fast track after babies).

If this promotion is what you want, you CAN do it. And they SHOULD (and probably will?) make accommodations for you to take on these new career responsibilities and become this rising star while respecting any limitations you may have on your time and energy because you’re pregnant and a mom.

Just own it — others will follow your lead. Or better yet, follow their lead. They see something in you and you need to focus on that. If they want to groom you for management, that’s likely something they see as at least a 5 year time horizon — maybe a lot more — and your maternity leave doesn’t need to be anything more than a temporary speed bump on that timeline. Four months is really not a big deal in the long run.

You can do it!

I feel overwhelmed. When did you start? What did you use? Am I understanding that some people say sippy cups are now bad for some reason?

Talk to me about suits. In life before child, I always owned a couple suits that made me feel like I had authority. My best bets always seemed to be J. Crew and Ann Taylor. But since having a kid, I have just….struggled with suits. I don’t know if it’s the new body shape (bigger hips, wider ribcage, 10 lbs heavier than my highest pre-baby weight), or if it’s changing styles, or if I have evolved to a stage in my career where I don’t need the suit for authority anymore, but every time I put on a suit, I feel like I’m wearing a costume. They never fit quite right; the waist is a bit big, the pants are too long (I know, tailoring), the knees don’t hit in the right place (how is this a thing?) so the break falls wrong across my shoes, the jackets are huge in the shoulders or can’t button across my ribcage or the arms are way too slim.

Is there an alternative to suits for times that a lawyer would usually wear a suit (I don’t visit courtrooms; this would be for client meetings and networking events only)? Or are there other brands I should try? I used to be a slim petite, and now I’m a less slim, but still small busted petite. I bounce between size 6P and size 10P, depending on the brand and cut.