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Sleep is very important to me. I could probably write a novel on the pros and cons of every type of swaddle I’ve tried — and it would be a long novel. Our baby really, really loved being swaddled, as most do, but was also very talented at escaping them. The one that lasted the longest for our little Houdini was the Miracle Blanket, which after all the money we shelled out on swaddles, was actually the one lent to us by a family member. (It’s $29.95 at Amazon.) It’s a little hard to describe how it works, but the “miracle” part of it is you’re wrapping your baby’s arms down in the fabric and the fabric goes under the baby — the baby’s own body weight keeps it from coming undone. There’s no Velcro or snaps. Once he was strong enough to break out of even this one, we moved on to the Merlin Magic Sleepsuit, but that’s the next chapter of the novel… Miracle Blanket Swaddle This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
AIMS says
I bought this on clearance for $5 with my first but never used it because I just found it too complicated. Maybe because I always remembered about it when every other swaddle failed and I was just too tired to compute new instructions. I thought I’d use it with no. 2 but same story. My best results swaddling came from a regular swaddle blanket where I guess I used the same concept of leveraging baby’s own weight and from the new hands up swaddle that my son just can’t break out of even thought it really isn’t as good at soothing as a traditional swaddle. We use that one mostly for nighttime.
Anon in NYC says
The Miracle Blanket is basically my holy grail baby product and I’ve become an evangelist. Love that thing. We didn’t start using it until my daughter was about 4 weeks old, and I credit it with immediately lengthening the amount of time between wake ups (went from 3 wake ups per night to 2).
Anonymous says
+1 we used it incorrectly for a while and it was still good, but done correctly my giant baby could not break out.
Anonymous says
PS – there was a video on their website showing how to use it. I didn’t find it hard once I understood. We had gotten ours second hand so never saw instructions.
Rainbow Hair says
It’s the one baby product I evangelize too. I love how there are no snaps or velcros!
Delta Dawn says
Same here– this is the #1 baby product I recommend to any new parent who asks. When I give baby gifts, I always give something from their registry and a Miracle Blanket. This is the only swaddle my firstborn couldn’t peck his way out of.
EB0220 says
I used and LOVED the Miracle Blanket with both of my kids. I could do it in my sleep (literally) by the second time around. It’s not too hard once you watch the video on their site. Only caveat is that it’s too big for tiny ones.
anon says
I never used this, but I loved the SwaddleMe swaddle blankets. They’re less expensive too.
Pogo says
Same, we swore by the SwaddleMe’s. Whenever they were all dirty and this was the only thing left my husband would gripe and say “What’s such a miracle about it? The only miracle is I can manage to wrap it correctly!”
Anonymous says
We loved this one too! I hated the ones with velcro because they were so loud and always caught on everything in the wash. This is a great alternative, and it really is easy once you figure out where everything goes.
AnonMom says
Love plain old swaddle blankets. The Happiest Baby DVD taught me how to use it.
Whatever swaddle you use, babies usually don’t like the process of being swaddles, so it takes a few minutes after getting them swaddled for them to settle down.
Cb says
Love to Dream Swaddle Up!
And ask around for what your friends have tried before buying – you’ll Amazon prime anything in the middle of the night and often people are happy to pass them alogn.
lsw says
This swaddle changed my life.
IP Associate says
This is my HG swaddle.
Rocker/Bouncer Recommendations says
We’ll be travelling to visit my in-laws with our two month old daughter, and we’d like to get a rocker or something delivered to their place to use on this and future visits. We have an auto Rock n Play at home – but based on some internet research, it looks like she might outgrow it at 4-6 months. Any recommendations for an alternate baby rocker/bouncer/holder/etc. that she won’t outgrow so soon? (We don’t need it for overnight sleeping.) I’m looking for something that rocks automatically, and it seems like my daughter is pretty indifferent to vibrating.
Cb says
I got the impression that most bouncers don’t go beyond this? My baby loved the Baby Bjorn until about 6 or 7 months when he was consistently sitting up on his own – he wanted to be able to move.
Anonymous says
Once she starts crawling she won’t use this anyway. Don’t bother.
ElisaR says
yup
J says
We have a Fisher Price Infant to Toddler rocker. The one with the animal theme. I’d say that between 6-14 months we didn’t use it much. Once she could sit up assisted, we had her sit in the middle of a Boppy and then, when she was able, on her own. Around 14 months when kiddo started walking well, we got it back out for the toddler rocker version. She still likes to sit in it at 2.5. So it has longevity, but there might be a big gap where it doesn’t get much use. It is definitely for sitting. I don’t think a child could really nap in it if that is your angle. Are you driving? If so, I’d just pack up the RnP and take it with you. If flying, that’s not much of an option.
Anonymous says
+ 1 to this.
mascot says
Are there any kids consignment stores/sales near where your parents live? Or do they have a friend that they could borrow something from for your visit? It might be a better option than buying new for something with a short useful life.
SC says
+1. I love our area’s biannual consignment sale and have purchased a ton of gear, clothes, and toys through that. My mom’s neighborhood has a Facebook group that posts kids’ stuff for sale or allows you to request items, and over the years she has purchased or been given a pack-n-play, a high chair, a tent, a plastic ride-on car, and a booster seat (for the table, not the car) through that.
Anonymous says
Get a P&P with a bassinet option. You can use the P&P part until they are 3 (depending on weight).
Nanny Showing TV says
I realized my nanny shows my kids 1-2 tv shows a lot of summer days (kids are 2 and 3). Think Daniel Tiger or Curious George. We don’t watch much tv with them ourselves. Does anyone else’s nanny do this? We generally really like her and I’m debating whether this is a line I want to draw.
Cb says
Eh, my kiddo is younger but I get both sides. You might not be giving screentime but are you 100% engaged with your kiddos for 9-10 hours straight? It might be the only chance she gets to regroup, eat her lunch, take a breath and that’s probably okay.
KateMiddletown says
I wouldn’t worry about 1-2 shows a day, especially if that’s the only screen time they’re getting. Chances are your active 2 and 3 y/o are not fully engaged, but probably doing 10 other things during the same time they’re watching, and nanny probably just needs a few minutes to get the next super activity prepped/clean up lunch/pee, etc.
ElisaR says
My only question is: did you specifically tell her no screen time and she puts on the shows in spite of that? If so, then I think you should say something because it shows she isn’t implementing your plan. But otherwise 1-2 shows isn’t excessive.
Clementine says
I would consider that 100% appropriate and I’m a very low screen time person.
I often use screen time to have a moment to pack up for the park or clean up from lunch or whatnot. I also sometimes use it with transitions – it can be hard for a 2 or 3 year old to go straight from PLAYING to quiet reading or mealtime or nap or whatever.
Now, if they were watching 2-3 disney movies a day, I would have Opinions.
Anon in NYC says
I’m fairly low screen time as well, and while I don’t love the idea of my kid watching daily tv, in practice, I understand it for all of these reasons. My daughter’s preschool occasionally uses videos to transition them between activities or when the teachers need to focus on individual students or if they can’t get outside to burn off some energy (her preschool doesn’t watch shows, so much as songs and they have the kids dance to them).
Anon says
Agreed to this. Our daycare uses “dance time” YouTube videos when they’re changing into/out of swimsuits for water time, or when they’re cleaning every kid up from a painting activity, or other focus-on-specific-kid times. It’s maybe a couple times a week and I think it’s fine.
But I’ll admit, I’m a solo parent who works full time and I use a 20 minute Daniel Tiger (or Umizoomi or Wallykazam or SuperWhy) every night so I can unpack school bags and get dinner on the table. As they’ve gotten older, it’s easier to just let them play during that time (or have them help me), but below age 3 it’s really hard to let two kids play unsupervised when you have to get something done.
J says
Agree with the above. 1-2 shows of that nature doesn’t seem like too much. It is probably her “break” time. If I was the only adult with a 2 and 3 year old all day for five days a week, I’d probably use a show while I prepped lunch and then if there was some cranky time elsewhere in the day. If the rest of the day is balanced, I wouldn’t worry about it.
Anonymous says
I’m stricter on screentime than most people I know, but I wouldn’t be ok with it. I wouldn’t expect a nanny to be actively engaged with them every minute of the day, but I think when she needs a break they can be put down in a safe space to play with blocks or whatever. A 2 and a 3 year old should be on a similar nap schedule, so she has time to herself then too. If daycares with 1 teacher for every 6 kids can avoid screentime, I think a nanny taking care of 2 kids can too.
That said, talking to her about it is an obvious first step. Maybe she doesn’t know you’d prefer no screentime.
Anonymous says
I hesitate on the daycare comparison, mainly because at most daycares the teachers are given paid work time to develop lesson plans/curriculum/activities for each day. If you want that kind of structure, I’d just mention that I’d think you’d have to give the nanny the same time and resources. I’ve never used a nanny and am not in an area where nannies are common. So I could be way off, and if so, feel free to correct me. I think this might also be a big area where you get what you pay for and could vary widely depending on the type of nanny you’ve hired. I think it would also matter whether this is a summer arrangement with a student or a full-time year-round childcare situation.
avocado says
I am not sure about the day care comparison. At day care, there are multiple teachers in the classroom at all times, they rotate out for breaks, and their shifts are typically 8 hours or less.
Anonymous says
Man, I’m the person who threatens to convert to being Amish and take a hammer to all household screens, but Daniel Tiger is as sweet as can be. And I love Wild Kratts so much I took the kids to see them live.
Legally Brunette says
I wouldn’t be ok with this either, but we’re also a no screen time household. I get that everyone needs a break but I would suggest to her that the kids can do a quieter activity like puzzles or coloring, if you don’t want them on screens.
Anonymous says
I’m with you. My kid gets about 30 minutes of screen time a week (Sunday night while I prep dinner) and I’d be really upset if there was more introduced without my knowledge. I think the question asked above about whether you said no screen time and found out this was going on is really relevant too, though. At 2 and 3 are your kids still napping? My 2 1/2 year old still takes a 3 hours nap most days. That seems like more than enough time for nanny to recharge…
GCA says
I’m screen-time-agnostic, so my answer would be: it depends. Has it changed their behavior? Are they demanding to watch things all the time now at the expense of doing other stuff like playing outside, reading, building with blocks, etc? If so, that would be sufficient for me to ask the nanny to stop or make it a less regular occurrence. If it isn’t affecting their behavior, half an hour of Daniel Tiger doesn’t seem like too much, especially if they’re no longer napping and it’s their quiet time.
avocado says
At age 2 my kid was watching a half-hour show every morning while I got ready for work–Sesame Street, Sid the Science Kid, Curious George, or Signing Time. She learned to recognize her first sight words from Sesame Street and had a pretty big ASL vocabulary (all of which she has since forgotten, but it was fun and I’m sure it had some benefit for her language development). I would say that as long as you choose the shows carefully and the nanny isn’t going against your express instructions, it’s fine.
As a bonus, it’s very helpful to have a child who is trained to sit quietly for half an hour.
Anon says
+ 1 million. My (10 month old) watches Sesame Street while I shower in the morning, sitting quietly with her (still half asleep) dad. It’s distracting and engaging enough that she doesn’t scream bloody murder when I walk out of her line of sight (we have serious mommy separation issues). Even with only 10 months of “seasoning” as a mommy, I have relaxed my rules about screentime (and many other things) significantly compared to when I first brought the baby home and treated everything as gospel (no screentime EVER, no bottles, no formula, disinfect everything, etc.).
Pogo says
I would be ok with it, but I do see this as a personal preference. If you wanted zero screen time, I think that should be communicated up front and set as an expectation.
Anonymous says
I would be fine with it. Daniel Tiger is actually a really good program. It helped my kids learn about food allergies when they had a new preschool classmate with allergies. And it was super helpful with potty songs for potty training.
We’re a very low screen time household but Daniel Tiger is one of the things we allow and I would be fine with an episode everyday or so and you can actually look at the list of shows and ask her to show ones that address issues you want the kids to know about – like the one where Daniel’s gets a new baby sister or when his classmate has crutches and they learn to modify their play to include her.
If she was showing them garbage shows with lots of gender stereotyping like Sofia or Little Charmers, it would be a big issue for me.
Anon says
I’m a new mom of twins and need some advice- how do those of you with more than one kid avoid the comparison trap? Any books or blogs to recommend that address this issue? I know that my parents tried really hard not to compare me to my sibling, but it’s harder than i thought it would be and I feel so guilty every time I do it. Given that they are babies, I’m not talking major skills or accomplishments, but one is bigger than the other, one is easier to feed/burp, etc and every time I think something like that I feel so guilty. I know their differences will only become more pronounced as they get older. I end up spending more time holding the one that takes longer to feed and then I feel badly the other one is getting the shaft for being easier. I want to treat my kids like individuals and not compare them and I feel so guilty every time I do make a comparison. Any tips?
Anon says
I don’t have tips, but I can say as someone married to an identical twin, you’re doing a great thing by thinking of this now. That constant comparison can be rough even with twins who are otherwise close, well into adulthood. (They also had parents who tried to keep things “even” between them, like even pulling one from a sport team if the other didn’t make the cut, so it’s a little deeper than just comparison.)
My DH does try to shut down any comparisons out loud, even between our kids who are two years apart – so when MIL says “Oh look your brother is listening well!” DH will immediately say “You need to listen no matter what your brother is doing.” If a stranger says “Oh look at the blond hair on that one!” he’ll immediately respond “We like ALL hair colors in our family!” He’s super sensitive to any sort of comparison or implication that something is better than the other, and will try to celebrate differences in looks or behaviors or development as something that makes them unique.
Redux says
Old school book rec: Siblings Without Rivalry. I read it when I was pregnant with my second and continue to refer to it as they get older.
Anonymous says
Twin mom here, mine are 2– you just compare them. They’re different! You don’t want to lump them into things like “the smart one” or “the mean one” or bad labels, but they have different personalities and skills and there’s no way around it. Especially if they are different sexes. I was HUGE on the no-comparisons thing– I was adamant that their names would not rhyme or begin with the same letter, they would not be wearing matching clothes, and I got on my parents a few times when they were babies about comparing them directly. But it turns out.. my son is the easy-going one. He was a WAY easier baby. My daughter is the rule-follower, and now that they’re toddlers she is the easier toddler. Comparing their physical skills let me know my daughter needed physical therapy, and comparing their language skills helped me push for my son to get the speech therapy he needs. So I would say go ahead and compare, just don’t prefer.
Anonymous says
Oh, and same anon here again– I think it’s important to acknowledge that it is REALLY hard to make sure the squeaky wheel doesn’t get all the grease. A lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Sometimes one needs more holding than the other, I wouldn’t worry too much about it in terms of comfort… but the toddler that is yelling the most gets their cookie second. If I didn’t pay attention to it a lot, I think I’d be encouraging them to act out for attention instead of be recognized for good behavior.
Anon says
OP here- thanks! Ours are the same gender – slightly jealous you got one of each, though obviously we love our two- so I feel like it probably is a bit easier to not compare as much when they are diff genders
anon says
I don’t read your statement as comparing so much as making observations about them. They are different people and you aren’t not going to notice and make adjustments based on that. However, as someone who is resentful of younger, more difficult sibling, you should try to ensure that you are at least being fair. Maybe there are some books that can assist with this?
Anon says
OP here- yes, I too had a challenging younger sibling and have a lot of resentment, which is what I’d like to avoid
Anonymous says
Mom of identical twin toddlers here. Yeah, comparing is inevitable when you have two kids exactly the same age, but I also try to think of it more as observations, especially because unless you look at my two closely, behavior/personality is the best way to tell them apart. Also, I think it’s completely normal to not always feel the same about both babies–our twin B was a much better napper/sleeper and twin A was much more easygoing during the day, so our “favorite” tended to flip every 12 hours.
Once of the things I found important to me was making sure I was tracking milestones individually. It’s really easy to think “oh yeah, the twins know 10 words, they’re fine”, but I would make myself sit down and figure out if each kid knew those 10 or if A only said 1 word and the rest were all B’s.
Anonymous says
I compare my kids all the time. But they are each awesome at their own thing, which makes it ok in my book. And some stuff is just non issue (A got her first tooth 6 months before B; C is potty training at 15 months and A& B were in oullnupsnuntil 3). But A is an artistic introvert, B is my wild child comedian and C is my happy bmgo lucky people pleaser. What’s hard is not keeping them in those boxes- turns out B really likes art! Even more than she likes soccer! Just not as intensely as A. A is actually prett funnyin her own subtle way. C is just as much trouble as B, but she’s sneaky so you have to watch her!
They’re all super smart in their own way. A is good at reading & shapes. B is all about logic and figuring a way to talk herself out of situations. C is a builder and has a great eye for color.
anon says
I am both a twin myself and a twin mom, so I have lots of opinions on the subject. Basically, you can’t help but compare them in your own thoughts, but police yourself from vocalizing those thoughts to the kids–which it sounds like you will be careful about. And try to keep yourself from pigeonholing the kids. You know them, but leave room in your own mind for the fact that, for example, the “athletic” one might hate soccer, and the “artsy” one might love soccer.
And… the comparisons you are tempted to draw are dynamic. The easy one won’t always be the easy one. My twins are 5 and definitely trade off in terms of who causes the most drama. One was the easy baby. He had a rough time being 3. Just stay open to the beautiful chaos you are in for.
EB0220 says
I have no opinions on twins but I do have 2 kids. I think all kids are individuals and they are constantly surprising you. I think it’s OK to have private thoughts and observations about your children and their personalities, but keep those thoughts to yourself. I felt guilty for years about my different relationships with my two kids. They are so different. But I finally decided that they’re each unique individuals and that my relationship with each kid can also be unique.
lsw says
Not sure what I’m looking for other than maybe suggestions on managing my feelings and reactions…I’m feeling physical sickness when I see photos of migrant children screaming and crying. I could throw up, I get goosebumps, I feel a little dizzy. It feels disingenuous and wrong to avoid the coverage, but I literally feel like I can’t handle it. I’m trying to balance being informed and learning what I can do to help these families with the feelings of anger, disgust, fear, and sadness. I know it’s the ultimate privilege to be able to look away from something like this, and I don’t want to ignore it, but I feel like I can’t – for example – listen to the ProPublica piece. I’m so sad and angry that this is our world.
avocado says
I hear you. I can’t handle books or movies about the Holocaust for the same reason, and I didn’t watch the Handmaid’s Tale either. I had to turn off Melissa Bloch’s coverage of the earthquake in China several years ago. I don’t watch the TV news and focus on the drier stories on radio and print/web to stay on top of what’s happening in the world.
Anon says
I posted on the main site and it is in moderation. Please take care of yourself. My MIL recently had a mini-stroke and she was debating politics right before it. Do you have like minded friends? Enlist one of them to screen stuff for you. For example, my brother is a PhD student and spends about 80% of his free time reading about political issues. I have asked him to forward me concrete action items I might be interested in. I also use his Twitter account to skim the most important things. Meaning, I don’t read everything he reads but I at least read the headlines that he re-tweets from my own account.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I think the best I can do at this point is to look for the helpers, as that famous quote goes. I think donating either your time or money will go a long way in easing a sense of helplessness. The world has always been and will always be full of horrible people, unfortunately, but I hope that that I’m doing a small part in promoting good in the future by donating to causes I believe in and raising my kids to be kind, compassionate people (hopefully!). I also just don’t watch much news coverage anymore, it’s too much emotionally.
Marilla says
Same. And I’m in Canada so I can’t even call a Senator about it. I plan to donate to ACLU or RAICES but I need to avoid reading a lot of the coverage and I definitely will not listen to that audio clip from Pro Publica (I get the headlines off Twitter so I feel I know what’s going on, but even that level of depth is enough to make me feel physically sick).
Anonymous says
You can call your MP and ask them to pressure the Cdn federal govt to repudiate the Safe Third Country Treaty now that the US is arguably not safe for refugees. That would allow families to claim refugee status in Canada if they can escape the US.
Lana Del Raygun says
Sure, it’s a privilege to be able to look away, but that doesn’t mean that looking away is wrong. You’re morally obligated to help, but not to expose yourself to every image and sound, as I saw someone saying on Twitter.
If you’re convinced that this is bad and you should do something, then the news coverage has served its purpose for you, and watching more of it is not going to make anyone’s life any better.
Anonymous says
+1
Rainbow Hair says
Thanks for saying that, Lana.
I’m organizing parts of my extended family to march next weekend, and giving $, and contacting my representatives. Maybe I can tell myself I can back off on watching the coverage as long as I don’t forget what’s happening.
lsw says
This is a really helpful perspective for me; thank you.
Anon says
I try to separate being aware of the issue from being sucked into the 24/7 coverage of the issue. I know this is happening, I am horrified by it, and I can call my representatives and donate to RAICES. I can do all those things without having to click on more articles or watch more coverage. I don’t need to be constantly bombarded by how bad it is – I already know.
I try to do that with most disturbing news articles. I read enough to form my opinion, I research tangible ways I can help, I do those things, and then I try to stay only peripherally aware of new developments.
FVNC says
I came here to post something similar, actually. I’ve donated to the ACLU, KIND (which I learned about here!) and RAICES, but that has not helped me at all. I am having trouble concentrating today at work. I am staying away from the news because I can’t stop crying when I read stories about what’s going on, but we get the WashPo delivered so I see the headlines. I wish I had an answer, but I don’t. I’m heartbroken for the families, and I’m sad that our government is perfectly willing to institute and perpetuate cruel policies. And I’m angry all over again at my church-going family members who voted for, and continue to support, this administration.
Anonymous says
I’m similarly struggling with how to handle my emotions re: my family members (also church-going) who voted for and continue to support this administration. Do you have any recommendations of articles etc. on this? I feel so incredibly angry (borderline, can I say, hatred) for people that feel the way that they do, and generally have a tendency to feel the say way to them, but at the same time, they’re my family, so I just don’t know what to do or how to feel, and I don’t know how to (or whether I should) control my interactions with them so that those emotions don’t bleed through.
FVNC says
No, I don’t have any resources unfortunately. In my case, the family members are my parents who I am (or was?) incredibly close to. It’s sad to realize that the people I love who raised me to be kind, caring and compassionate, have been completely “tribalized” (for lack of a better word). Small example, but they own all of Peggy Noonan’s and George Will’s books, but now they’re RINOs for speaking against the administration. I can’t square the people I love with what they now believe. We just don’t talk politics because I think doing so could lead to actual estrangement, and I don’t want that.
Anonymous says
Yup, its my parents too. And my brother. And I’m in exactly the same boat – that I can’t square it in my mind, and if we talked politics, it would lead to estrangement.
Anonymous says
I got sucked into a bit of a rabbit hole last night reading news coverage, and I went to the National Review to see what thoughtful conservatives (not Fox, although they also had an opinion piece opposed to family separations) were saying. There were a few interesting pieces specifically addressing how Christians “should” think about the law that basically agreed with MLK that people have a moral obligation to follow just laws and to oppose unjust ones. The Bible quote Sessions offered in defense of the policy is particularly disgusting to me; and i’m heartened that some of Trump’s “base” is pushing back on how un-Christian it is to rip apart a family. I hope Congress can do something about it, since the administration is the worst.
I’m heading to Red State for a big family reunion this weekend, and I’m 90% sure a majority of my relatives are Trump supporters. I don’t talk politics with my dad, and I have an arsenal of deflections ready if anyone tries to talk politics with me. They basically boil down to “huh, I don’t see it that way, I thought Jesus loved the little children, all the little children of the world, red and yellow black and white, they are precious in his sight… Oh yum, these BBQ ribs are delicious, have you tried them?”
Thanks for the reminder about KIND. I’m donating now.
GCA says
I feel you. And I was a journalist for years so am always aware of the news. I think what’s worse this time is that it feels like the barrage of news coverage changes nothing, or at least spurs only incremental change. Are you somewhere where you can donate time and effort (legal services, language skills)? Otherwise, I’ve donated to RAICES and the ACLU.
Anonymous says
I had the exact same experience yesterday. I had to turn off NPR in the car. My son was crying in the car because he was hot and hungry and cranky and as soon as we got home I had to scoop him up and hold him for a solid five minutes before I could get a hold of myself to unload the car. I also felt weak/dizzy/nauseous/tearful every time I thought about a child being taken away from their parents.
I donated to specific charities in the Rio Grande Valley, but I still feel awful.
Beth Childs says
I’m in the same boat. I almost threw up this morning from 30 seconds of audio of the children being held and sat in a park outside my office crying for a bit this morning. After having such a strong and sudden reaction, I spoke to my husband as a sounding board because I was so distraught. This is what we came up with as a plan:
1. Don’t eliminate news completely, but limit it when necessary. I want to stay up to date on what is going on, but things that are going to definitely set me over the edge are ok to avoid.
2. Practice some self care – listen to music, podcasts, whatever is going to help recharge your batteries a bit.
3. Do whatever it is you can to feel like you are contributing to the solution. Write letters to elected officials, post on social media, contribute to non-profits that are helping these kids, organize events, use your specialized skills and knowledge – whatever it is that will be helpful to these families and help you feel like you are accomplishing something.
You aren’t alone in how you are feeling. I’m in a role where news and policy are part of life, so I know I can’t unplug completely and that doing so will not help these families or get the changes we need made accomplished. Pacing myself, however, will let me deal with my emotions while hopefully maximizing the ways I can actually help and push for change. Hugs from an internet stranger
lsw says
Thank you so much. Hugs back.
avocado says
For those of you who are lucky enough to have parents with vacation home–how often is too often to ask to use it? Does that change if there are lots of adult children and stepchildren involved? We have gone to my in-laws’ vacation home twice in the past two years, after not being there in a decade. My daughter absolutely loves it there and has been asking to go back. I’d like to use a short trip as a reward to bribe her to accomplish some goals this summer, but I’m heistant to impose on my in-laws’ generosity. At least one of stepmother-in-law’s kids goes every year, but the siblings on our side rarely go there. What do you think?
anon says
Oh I’d say once a year for sure. Make it a fun annual thing you do. Others might not go there for other reasons.
I have access to a family vacation house and we go twice a year. Everyone’s just happy it’s getting used!
J says
If they offer and don’t seem weird about it when you go, I’d assume that they want to provide their children and grandchildren the opportunity to enjoy this space. My parents have a vacation home, and they would really like to share it with the family more often. At our life stage it doesn’t work so well (unprotected pool and toddler). My sibling with an older child goes there often. They love if we visit when they are there so they can see us, but hubby and I vacationed there without them before kiddo was born.
I’d just be cognizant that there could be some costs to them, and then ask to reimburse those if you can and feel weird about it. My parents’ home is in FL and has hurricane shutters and certain humidity needs, etc. They have a neighbor they hire to open/close the place for others as well as do some cleaning. So if I were going when they weren’t there, I’d offer to cover that cost. They haven’t let us so far – they seem to truly enjoy providing this opportunity for us, and since my dad isn’t retired yet, they can do it.
EB0220 says
I’m not sure what your relationship is like with your in-laws, but my parents would LOVE it if we could visit their vacation home as often as possible. The more the better. My in-laws were the same way when they had a condo at the beach. I would think as long as you don’t impose on other plans they have and maybe pay for cleaning after you’re OK. Are they renting it out so you’re displacing income when you go?
Anonymous says
Isn’t this really a question for your husband if it’s his family? We have a family home in a resort area (it was my grandparents home and my mother and her sister have inherited it). We go annually. I’d love to make two trips per year but I also like to take a vacation somewhere new each year and then we have to visit DH’s family so going more than once a year isn’t feasible.
ElisaR says
yes, I feel like most people are excited when somebody can use and appreciates their vacation home. Is it in high demand so your use means others can’t use it? Once a year seems perfectly reasonable.
anne-on says
My parents have a vacation house and they truly don’t mind family asking to use it and would be open to us asking. We don’t use it at all because it is quite a long drive, but my brother and extended family do all the time. I would caveat this – please, please at least OFFER to pay for electricity/water/heat/etc. It can easily cost an extra $500/week to have a big family in a large house and to cool it during the summer. Also – either be good about REALLY cleaning up after yourself (full vacuum, mop, clean bathrooms before leaving, etc.) OR ask them the cost of a cleaning service. The one time we did go pre-kids was right after my brother had left and the house was a total wreck. I was SO mad about having to spend the first few hours in the house cleaning because he refused to clean up after himself/his friends and was too cheap to pay for a service.
Oh – and be up front with them about how many people will be there. My parents have revoked access to a nephew’s family after they told them it would be just their family of 4 and my parents asked for a nominal fee to cover utilities. Then 12 ppl showed up. Utilities about tripled and the house, again, was a mess without them cleaning up and my parents having to pay for a service. Basically – be a decent guest and they should be fine with you using it!
avocado says
They don’t rent it out so we wouldn’t be displacing income. I am more concerned about taking up more than our fair share of time since there are a lot of adult children in the family. The place is not always in use, but the weekend I am thinking of is a prime one and I don’t want us to be too grabby. When we are there, we clean the place well before leaving, and they usually ask us to take care of one or two minor maintenance tasks that they can’t handle from afar.
Anonymous says
I know some families where there is a spreadsheet to manage who gets what week when and some sense of fee (cleaning service + HVAC overhead), which I think is totally fair. People pick lots at Thanksgiving and that determines the week-picking order. If you want an additional week, you go after everyone has had their first pick.
Unused summer weeks are rented out on the market to help offset costs / taxes / huge insurance bill.
anon says
Since it is your husband’s family, I think this is a conversation he has with them. If no one else is eyeing that weekend, I don’t think you’d seem too grabby. And if people are competing for certain times, your inlaws need to establish some sort of system.
Anon says
With my parent’s we are welcome to use it whenever they or a friend are not using it. If it is sitting there empty, why do you feel like you’d be stepping on bounds? Just return it to its original state when you leave.
Anonymous says
How do you handle displaying family photos? I like to have professional ones taken at least once per year, but then I’m not really sure what to do with them. I love the look of canvas photos on the walls, but getting those made is not cheap so I don’t want to regularly take them down and put up a new one, and I also don’t want to just keep adding a giant canvas to our house every time we take family pictures. (My parents have every square inch of their walls covered in family photos and while I think it’s sweet, it makes me claustrophobic. I’m much more of a minimalist than they are). I feel like we have “enough” photos on the walls, but I also want to keep taking photos because my daughter is growing and changing all the time. But at the same time, taking the photos feels like a waste if I don’t display them prominently in our home.
Anonymous says
I have no clue. I can tell you that we’ve had three family photo sessions – the hospital newborn photos, some at my child’s first birthday, and some at my child’s second birthday. We will continue yearly family photos. My family never had family photos growing up. Not once! So now I’m pretty hardcore about yearly photos. We have a book of the newborn photos, our favorite family photo from the year one shoot (8X10 in a frame), and our favorite of our child from year two photos in a canvas on the wall. I feel the same about canvases and so we’ve decided that we’ll only get them going forward if there is a picture we are just so in love with, which is what happened on this one.
anon says
We have a small home and some really nice art that gets displayed in prominent locations, so my answer may be a little different from most people. At home, we have a small hallway with 4 frames for 5X7 photos. When we take family pictures, I rotate one or two new ones in with the old ones. We have a few framed photos on shelves and desks around the house, but I agree with you on feeling claustrophobic by having every inch of wall space covered by family photos.
I try to get a lot of mileage out of family photos. I use them for holiday cards. I rotate a couple into frames at home and at my office. I give them to grandparents as Christmas gifts. And I use them for digital backgrounds on my computer and phone for a while.
Mrs. Jones says
We have pro photos taken twice a year (once as a family, once kid only), and I switch the framed ones out twice a year.
ITLady says
We have a chromecast hooked up to our bigscreen and occasionally will just leave the TV on when we’re in the living room but not actively watching it. There’s a way you can set the chromecast to shuffle through selected albums in your google photos library, so we have our honeymoon, babymoon, wedding, vacation, and baby albums hooked up to it. It’s really fun when really old pictures pop up and I like that it’s larger than a dedicated digital frame somewhere.
Anon says
+1. We have one photo frame that we swap out yearly, but we’ve created a bunch of Google photo albums and let them cycle on the TV. We actually bought two Chromecasts, one for each TV in our house, and let them cycle most of the time we’re home.
One of my current favorites is an album of “far away family and friends” – we’ve put in pictures of grandparents, aunts, my best friend who moved away, etc. I point out the person on the screen on occasion to my kids when they’re playing in the same room, because I want them to know Uncle Tim by sight even though he lives across the county, and know my Grandma even though she passed away when they were young. Often seeing the picture will spur a story, so I can share their memory along with their photo.
I’ve started begging my family and friends to send me the digital copies of their latest family photo, so I can add it to that album. And I know some of them are starting to do the same Chromecast thing (or the older ones will cycle it on their desktop screensaver), because now they’re asking me for my photos.
ElisaR says
i’m not that tech-savvy but I have a chromecast. How do you set up the photos this way? Is there an app on your computer or is it just your photos folder? I love this idea
Anon says
You can probably google the steps if I miss any, but…
Set up a google photo album with the pictures you want.
On your phone, open the Chromecast app (make sure it’s connected to your google account)
Select backdrop settings
Pick google photos
Select the right album(s)
Lana Del Raygun says
I would save the canvas prints for photos you particularly love and swap out framed regular-prints of your annual family photo. And I’d make scrapbooks/photo albums!
Anon in NYC says
Baby monitor question – we are still using the same baby monitor from when my daughter was an infant, and it works fairly well. But the range is no longer working for us. For example, if I’m solo parenting and need to quickly run the dog out at 11pm, the signal dies 5 feet outside of my apartment door and I still need to go down 3 flights of stairs. The place we’re living in has a roof deck, and I’d love to be able to sit out there after my daughter goes to bed, but I want a monitor that will work.
Would the Nest cam work for these purposes? Any other suggestions?
Anonymous says
How about a “what won’t work” suggestion. We have had two Angelcare monitors, and they definitely don’t get that kind of range.
Anonymous says
We have an InfantOptics monitor. It seems to have pretty good range and works on our front lawn and back deck. I’m not sure it would work on a roofdeck, depending on how far that is from your apartment.
ITLady says
I think probably anything that isn’t wifi based wouldn’t work – I’d think the multiple walls/floors between you and your apartment would mean there was too much attenuation even if you got something that technically went that far foot wise. (i.e a monitor says its good up to 500 feet but that metric is based off of minimal or no walls between you and the central unit)
Just be extremely sure you do your homework on whatever camera you do get – a TON of the wifi cams have really shoddy security on them. Also make sure that you have a newer wifi router that is receiving regular firmware updates and ensure you’re actually installing those updates – that’s another way their security can get compromised.
We have an arlo cam. There are a lot of wifi enabled devices in our house and the camera is really bad at staying consistently connected. I’d do some heavy digging on anything wifi enabled to see if you can find others that have used it in a similar setting; I’d expect that being in an apartment complex means there might be a lot of interference, especially if you have tech nerd neighbors like me that have every lightbulb swapped for a smart one. :P
CCLA says
Nest cam would definitely work assuming you have cell reception or wifi coverage wherever you are viewing from. Or pretty much any other wifi camera. Cameras just stay connected via wifi, and you view through your phone or other device that is either on wifi or cell service (you’re using data then but I haven’t noticed a huge data suck from it). Like ITLady, we have converted so many things in our home to smart devices, and we have no problems with accessing the nest cams. We also have an iBaby which works similarly.
Anon in NYC says
Thanks, all! I will check into our cell coverage / wifi strength this evening!
Pogo says
I use and love the Nest. Since you can access it over cell coverage, it works everywhere.
Anon says
We use the baby arlo for this reason. I can check the app from anywhere.
Redux says
This is kind of a ridiculous question, but is there any way I can stop my 1.5 year old from pooping in the middle of the night? It wakes him (and the rest of us) up and requires a diaper change. We’ve tried letting him cry it out, but it rarely works and often winds up with a horrible diaper rash. I figured he would grow out of it once he started eating more like a toddler and less like a baby, but it hasn’t happened. He has a big appetite, eats three square meals and a couple snacks, and drinks a moderate to low amount of milk. Help?
ER says
I don’t think so. We had this problem at nap time – it would often ruin the whole nap. And gently, you do really need to change his diaper – CIO is not appropriate for this situation.
I am also replying partly to mentally prepare you for another few years of this. We potty trained my daughter a few months ago, and even though she very rarely has an accident, she gets up 1-2x/night to go to the potty (not poop), and she usually needs our help. She also started to have occasional nightmares at the age of 2. Unfortunately, I think you have to suck it up.
IO says
You can’t do anything about the timing of poops (well you *can,* but I wouldn’t give a baby an enema just because). But a thick coat of pre-emptive diaper cream (we used butt paste) can help prevent middle of the night diaper rash. It may not work that well for poop, but it might buy you some time.
Redux says
Dang. Thanks for the responses.
Anon says
Does he also poop during the day or just once / 24hrs? My kid tend to be once-a-day poopers so I might try some prune juice at lunch a few days in a row to see if you can switch him onto a daytime “cycle.”
Anonymous says
Did anyone else have weird hormonal stuff going on at 3/4 months postpartum? I’ve felt pretty awful for a couple of weeks now. I had a terrible migraine for the first time since getting pregnant, and since then have felt generally nauseous and run down. Kind of like early pregnancy but I’m definitely not pregnant. Before getting pregnant I often got pre-menstrual migraines, so I thought I might be getting my period back, but it hasn’t showed up (and I’m EBFing so this would be pretty early, no?)
NewMomAnon says
I got migraines with my first few postpartum periods; have you noticed reduced milk production or other PMS symptoms? Mine returned at 10 months, and my GP was concerned that it took so long – based on that, I would say 3-4 months isn’t “too early.” I’ve had friends get them back at 6 weeks postpartum (sad face).
But also – your hormones are completely in flux for the first year, and you can develop thyroid issues, vitamin deficiencies, etc. If you don’t get your period in the next few days, I would call your OB for a consult and bloodwork.
Anonymous says
My period returned at about 5 months postpartum, despite EBF. So I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility. My PMS was pretty bad (worse than pre-baby) and my periods were really heavy for basically 2 years.
Also, it could just be hormonal stuff. I think I started shedding handfuls of hair at around the 4 month mark.
OP says
Yeah I’m losing a ton of hair so that’s why I thought it might be hormones.
Edna Mazur says
Dido on the period. 4-5 months despite EB each and every time.
K. says
My period returned at around 8 weeks pp for both my daughters, so definitely possible.
Anonymous says
I’ve read that it isn’t uncommon to be ovulating well in advance of actually getting your period back. So it could definitely be something on the hormonal side.
Anon says
It’s not uncommon for your body to start gearing up for ovulation and for that to take several months, but once you actually ovulate, your period would follow in short order. The luteal phase is often shorter for the first few cycles so there’s probably be just a few days between ovulation and period.
NewMomAnon says
For Insect Repellent question from yesterday – look at the insect repellent clothes and clothing treatment options. I’ve got a big can of clothing treatment stuff I plan to use before we go camping; probably on one pair of light-weight long pants and a light button down shirt for each of us. They sell pre-treated clothes though. Apparently they are very effective.
Anon says
Someone on the main page recommended the blog “Raising Boys and Girls” as a resource for kid development. I went there, and just a few posts down was a section on how boys are “just wired differently” and that’s why they are physical and can’t sit still. It made me recoil and dismiss the entire blog. But it also got me thinking…
Am I wrong for totally rejecting this idea? Like, I get there are biological differences in boys and girls, but I don’t think they’re so different to create a statistically significant difference. I think it’s 99% social.
I think boys don’t sit still because they aren’t forced to do so. They’re not put in dresses as crawling infants, so their movements aren’t as limited. They’re not told to sit quietly and play kitchen. I think boys are more physical because that’s shrugged off as “boys being boys” – watch any group of preschoolers in the park and the girls will get immediate interaction if they fight verbally, but the boys are allowed to actually wrestle for a while before anyone intervenes. Those types of social interactions are prevalent before kids can even talk, so they must be having an outsized influence on behavior.
Is this wrong? Am I rejecting “science” in favor of my anecdotes and beliefs? My family is pretty conservative and I hated hearing “boys will be boys” my entire childhood, so am I just reacting to that? Any of you smarter women have more educated thoughts on this you can share?
Anonymous says
My ped told me it was all BS. The same pseudoscience that says boys can’t sit still also says girls can’t do math and science. My mom and I both have advanced degrees in STEM so obviously I think that’s a load of cr*p.
NewMomAnon says
I admit that I bought into this before kiddo was born, and then she almost all of my stereotypes of a boy kiddo but also most of my stereotypes of a girl kiddo, and lots of friends’ boy kiddos were more “girl-ish” as toddlers than my girl. I asked my ped, and she said the current science indicates that gender personality differences in little kids are a product of nurture, not nature. The science jury might be out once they hit puberty, but it’s hard to test that because no kid is raised in a gender neutral manner before puberty.
Anonymous says
I’m with you. It totally rubs me the wrong way. I have only girls. Every time I see a “boy mom” meme or post about the messy house, the running around, etc., when it is contrasted with the “girl mom” where everything is controlled and pink, I totally recoil. My home is messy. My girls wrestle and fight and color on walls. I’ve been called by school because my child won’t sit still in pre-K. It’s personality and socialization.
Anonymous says
Ugh, the “boy mom” memes.
Delta Dawn says
I have two boys and think it’s BS. I cringe when someone says my son is “all boy.” What do you mean? He’s fun and he likes to play and yell and be loud and awesome? Yes. And girls can do that too. Those are not immutable “boy” characteristics. And if my son won’t sit still and be quiet when he is supposed to, it’s not because he is a boy. It’s because he’s 2 years old. (And maybe he needs a time out.) I don’t have any “science” for it, but I actively reject any excuses being made for my kids’ behavior just because they are boys.
AllBoy says
THANK YOU for the rejection of “all boy.” I have a son who embraces the pink, the purple, the sparkly. I mention this to other moms, and frequently, moms with boys will respond (uncomfortably) “Oh mine is all boy.” What — the act of wearing all pink or a dress makes him ‘not a boy?’ I’ve never heard someone say in response to a little girl in pants, “oh my girls are all girl.”
The best I can come up with is that there are “lots of ways to be ‘all boy.'”
Anonymous says
Those people are awful. Your son sounds awesome.
Mama Llama says
That’s a great response.
Anonymous says
Thank you for this. Signed, mom of a similar boy
avocado says
There is some evidence that boys and girls develop on different schedules (e.g., boys tend to develop gross motor skills earlier and girls tend to develop fine motor skills sooner, girls hit their preteen growth spurt sooner than boys).
The rest of it is individual personality and socialization. As in, boys are socialized to think it’s okay to push in front of girls, so my daughter now refuses to participate in any extracurricular activity where there are more than a handful of boys.
Lana Del Raygun says
First of all, everything about humans being “wired” a particular way is nonsense; humans are not made of wire and neuroplasticity is real. Second of all, I think there miiiight be significant innate personality differences between boys and girls, but it’s basically impossible to tell because the differences in socialization are SO STRONG. Girls learn to talk earlier, but parents talk to baby girls more, so if there’s also a difference in nature we can’t tell.
In the meantime, the null hypothesis is that there’s no difference, and anyway population-level generalizations are irrelevant when you have individual kids to deal with. Basing any parenting decisions on “how boys/girls are” instead of how *your kids* are is the psychological equivalent of insisting that only men get things down from the top shelf because “men are taller,” regardless of who the tallest available *individual* is.
TL;DR maybe but it doesn’t really matter for any practical purpose
Boston Legal Eagle says
I think most differences attributed to gender are due to socialization. For instance, I hate the generalization that moms are “naturally” more nurturing than dads. Girls are generally pushed and requested to babysit more and be around kids more, so they end up getting that experience earlier on than boys. I don’t think there’s anything innate there. In my family, I never babysat while my husband did. Guess which one of us is more “naturally” nurturing? Not me. But… unlike a lot of men who just ignore their parenting roles and have moms do all the nurturing, I can and have learned! Also in my family, my parents fit into a lot of stereotypes of the opposite gender – it’s just who they are.
We’re trying our best to raise our kids in a gender-neutral way, but it’s really hard when everything seems to be separated out into “boy” sections and “girl” sections. And when the first question I get after people see that I’m pregnant is what I’m having. And then I get the “boy mom” stereotypes and assumptions about what my future will look like.
Anon says
I think there is a difference in how ADHD and autism present in boys and girls but I don’t know how much is nature vs. nurture.
IO says
I’ve worked with kids most of my life and I will say that the “high energy” kids are mostly boys. Fearlessness/timidity seems evenly split, though people react very negatively toward timid boys and shrug about timid girls. But I have a high energy girl and she isn’t as interested in the things boys at the playground seem to be interested in (cars, squirt guns, throwing repetitively).
I think the very existence of transgendered people suggests that gender differences are real and not nurture. Gender signifiers like pants vs dresses or homecooking vs being a chef are clearly cultural. But gender is real.
OTOH says
I hadn’t seen this blog before, I wouldn’t read it for other reasons. But, as to the difference between boys and girls: I think there’s a disservice in not acknowledging the difference in the way, in general, boy and girls think and behave. Girls excel in school because it is made for them, sit still, listen, test, focus. Your son or daughter, or you, may over come specific aspects of those generalizations, but that doesn’t make it bunk science. There’s interesting discussions and valid questions on how “hard wired” it is. But their brains, on a mere physical level, are different. It stands to reason they would behave differently based upon those differences. And,
Anonymous says
I read a book called Pink Brain Blue Brain or some such and my take-away was that there are minor innate differences, but socialization exacerbates them to the chasm we see every day. It is early and insidious.
Obviously 3 kids does not a statistically significant sample make, but my daughter is happy to sit still and color or paint, and my sons want to be outside playing sports except when I force them to eat dinner with the family. I *know* there is some traditional gendered BS going on at our childcare center — I had to specifically tell the teachers that my daughter only wears clothes to school that I am happy for her to play in, and they are not to exclude her from any physical or dirty activity on account of her clothes. My kids have also gotten the message that pink and purple are for girls and NOT boys, even though I know they didn’t hear this from me or my husband, or anyone else within earshot of us, and my 5 year old listed pink among his favorite colors until very recently. *sigh*
GCA says
My favorite resource for this is Cordelia Fine’s books – check out Delusions of Gender and Testosterone Rex.
I love the response ‘there are many ways to be all boy’!
Signed, mom of a small person who loves diggers, trains, rockets, flinging self around, jumping off alarmingly tall things, clinging to my leg in novel social situations, dance classes, watching gymnastics and ice skating clips on Youtube, swimming, purple, nail polish, and watching me put on my eyeshadow. (So basically your average 3-year-old.)
anon says
This is a dumb question, but something I haven’t encountered before. How do you have a babysitter contact you if your home doesn’t have a landline, and the sitter doesn’t have a cell phone? Leave one of your cell phones with him/her? Get a prepaid phone to have around? Have him use Google Hangouts or Google Messenger from our computer?
In case it wasn’t obvious, the babysitter is quite young — easily the youngest we’ve had — but I’m OK with trying it because he’s a big brother-type figure to my kids and has taken the babysitter certification course. Most importantly, his family lives two houses away and his parents (close friends of ours) will be home the whole time for backup.
Anonymous says
TBH I got a land line for $19/month. Worth it to me.
Spirograph says
VoIP, which is not the same as landline, but my phone plugs into the wall like one, is included in my cable subscription. Check to see if yours includes it too? We got a phone 1. for babysitters, 2. In case one of the kids ever needs to call 9-1-1, and 3. In case I ever need to call 9-1-1 because I misplaced my phone constantly.
SG says
Can one of his parents lend him their phone? Otherwise a prepaid phone to serve as your home phone seems like the easiest alternative.
Anon says
Does anyone know of a place to get a mail order subscription of diapers, wipes, and other baby stuff that isn’t Amazon? I’m looking for something that will send me Pamper’s Swaddlers at first, and then Earth’s Best or 7th Generation or some other fragrance-free brand later on. Not interested in Honest Company. Thanks!
Marilla says
Walmart offers subscribe+save too, but not sure if they stock Earth’s Best/7th Generation.
Anonymous says
We have Target subscriptions for Pampers diapers and wipes. Not sure about the other brands but Target has a LOT of stuff. 5% off and free two day shipping with the Red Card.
I am not a fan of Amazon and I feel better about giving my money to Target. Plus I don’t have to pay for Prime to get free two-day shipping!
anon says
Diapers dot com, maybe? I believe Amazon owns them, though.
OP says
Thank you!
lucy stone says
We use Bambo Nature diapers and they have their own subscription service.
Lana Del Raygun says
Prenatal development question: when do unborn babies develop melanin? Specifically, does Baby Center’s endless parade of pale pink babies mean they’re only illustrating white babies, or is that just what all babies look like in utero?
Anonymous says
Pretty sure they are just showing white babies. Apparently newborns do continue developing melanin after birth, so their skin color is not fixed at birth, but not to the extent that all babies are born pale pink! The babies on babycenter are pink all the way up to 40 weeks…
Lana Del Raygun says
Their first picture of a black mother in the week-by-week is several weeks in for an article about being overweight, so this doesn’t surprise me.
Anonymous says
Melanin does come in after birth and babies get darker, but they’re not all pale pink when they’re born. I have close friends of Chinese and Indian heritage and their babies were much darker than mine at birth. I think BabyCenter is just using all white babies and probably pretty fair-skinned ones at that.
Pogo says
Pumping in Europe – tell me your stories.
Did you have any issues with getting your milk through security? Did you find any hotels that had fridges in you room, or fridge/freezer that you could use? Was it hard to explain the situation when you don’t speak the local language? Can you use your regular adapter for the pump or should I buy a Medela power cord with the European plug style? Do European offices ever have lactation rooms?
I’m considering pumping and dumping because I’ll be in different hotels and driving all around and it seems like a bunch of hassle I don’t need. But pouring that milk down the drain is so emotionally difficult!
Anonymous says
I’ve never done it, but I would definitely take a handheld as a backup! (But frankly, I love my handheld as a backup anyway, all the time, and have gotten to the point where I think it’s almost as fast and easier when traveling.)
Anonymous says
I actually just went through this a couple weeks ago! I used the medela power cord + an adapter for the European plug style. I did not find that the office had a lactaction room but they were happy to book an office for me to use. The door ended up having a lock but I brought a small door stopper with me just in case. I could not find any good info about bringing BM through European security so I did decide to pump and dump. It was hard it made the trip 1000% easier without having to constantly worry about where to put the milk, keeping it at the right temp, etc. Good luck!!
Cb says
Pogo – remind me tomorrow and I’ll do some digging. Where are you headed?
Pogo says
Germany. I googled around and it seems like using the battery pack is a better option than trying to get a European power adapter for the Medela PISA, but I’m going to call Medela and ask. You definitely can’t just plug the US power adapter into the converter you’d use for your laptop.
Lmk your experience on airports because LHR was the one I heard was the worst about milk (made some woman dump all of hers). I’m flying through AMS though probably, or CDG.
Airbnb says
My 4 YO is dry most (19/20) nights. I’m staying at an AirBnb, they know that I will have my kids with me. Do I need to specifically ask if they have a sheet protector for the bed, just in case?
New law mama says
Having trouble with threading – but one thing you can do with regard to the family separation nightmare is support the frontline workers. The lawyers, social workers, nuns, etc.are also traumatized and exhausted. Reaching out to a local or national organization to support their work or send them lunch, cookies, or a nice note means a lot.