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This nursing top from Milk looks lovely — I like the high neckline, the bright, happy colors, and the functionality of the shirt. It’s $44 at Amazon. Milk Nursingwear Asymmetrical Tiered Nursing Top (L-2)Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
DC Mom says
Ladies, I need advice/resources on how to wean. Baby is almost 10months and I would like to start weaning around 12-14 months. There is so much info on how to start breastfeeding, but not so much on how to stop. My supply is keeping up with baby’s demand, but I would like to build up a freezer stash. Does that mean I should add some pumping sessions throughout the day? I mostly work from home, so baby nurses on demand. She goes to day care a couple of says a week and has been rejecting bottles there, so we’re starting to try sippy cups and would love any advice on that. Sidenote: I feel like just when I get a hang of things, everything changes! And my pre-baby self would have time/energy to research and prep for changes and be ahead of the game, but now I feel like I am always behind and scrambling to keep up. Blerg.
EB0220 says
If you want to build a freezer stash you will need to add some pumping sessions. When I was home on maternity leave, I would pump after one feeding and maybe at night after baby was down. I didn’t get much but the ounces add up if you are consistent.
I let my baby practice with water or a little cow’s milk in a sippy cup (she’s 11 months). Sometimes she has breastmilk in the sippy, but not that often. My plan is to gradually slow down pumping between 11 and 14 months, using my freezer stash and then cow’s milk to fill in any shortage. She gets a sippy cup of something when she eats (3 meals/2 snacks), 1-2 bottles at daycare and nurses when at home. Daycare is working with me to keep reducing the bottles and moving to sippy cups, but I’d like to keep nursing at home even after I stop pumping.
That was long – and I don’t know if it helps! I’m figuring this out too. I had to wean my first around 9 months and had already been supplementing so it was a different transition. With #2 I’m still feeling my way.
(former) preg 3L says
Honestly, I thought it would be so much more of a process than it was. I just stopped. Building up a freezer stash at 10 months isn’t really necessary, imo. If you want to start weaning, no problem, just stop offering the b00b. Keep the first and last feedings of the day, and just drop one at a time.
Anon says
Off topic, but I’ve been thinking about you (former) preg 3L! I hope the separation/divorce proceedings are going well and that you and your daughter are happy and thriving together!
(former) preg 3L says
Thanks! Things are rough (still no closer to being divorced than I was six months ago) but I’m keeping my chin up.
anonyc says
I’ve sort of felt my way through the process. Generally I’ve phased out daytime pumping around months 9-11 so that I’m just nursing morning and night. (I supplemented with formula once kids started daycare.) Once we got the green light from the ped for cow’s milk at the one-year well visit I’d start adding that into the mix, alternating with formula during the day, until it was just cow’s milk and some nursing. TBH by that point my kids were really loosing interest in me, and I was producing so little that it was hardly worth it. Then I’d just see if I could drop a morning or night feeding, usually the latter. It sort of happens all at once. Occasionally after dropping a nursing session I would still need a quick nurse to relieve my own uncomfortableness, but really only about 3 or so times. Then, basta! Physical autonomy, and it’s so sweet.
Really, though, you should see what stepping down things work for you. I was never hung up on having extra milk around; increasing pumping sessions strikes me as sending the wrong message to your body if the goal is to stop nursing. I think partially because I was weaning after a year I didn’t really have any extreme hormonal reactions, but I believe that is a possibility for many ladies. My b***sts super shrank throughout the process, however, so I’m basically flat (eh).
Meg Murry says
I would just work on getting her to take anything out of any cup – sippy or straw cup, and only put 1-2 oz in at a time until she starts actually drinking it (which means freezing only 1-2 oz in a bag). Some kids want evertyhing as close to nursing as possible (cuddled up with warm bottle) while other kids prefer it to be a totally different thing – room temp or even cold milk in a high chair from a sippy or straw cup.
How often do you feed solids now, and is it spoon feeding or table food? Start sitting her in her highchair with finger food and an oz of milk in a sippy when you eat meals and see if she drinks it.
At this point, you could start “don’t offer, don’t refuse” – or in a few months. If she asks to nurse, let her, but don’t bring it up if she doesn’t ask.
Even if you are nursing on demand, try to avoid turning to nursing as your first response when she cries or wants a cuddle – you want nursing to be associated with meal times, not just as a response for when she is sad or sleepy. In general, that’s what I’ve seen drag out nursing is kids who want to nurse every time they are a little bit sad, because they keep wanting to nurse for a couple of minutes for comfort, not food. Which is fine if both of you are ok with that – but not if you want to wean soon.
Honestly, the thing that works best for most moms is to disappear for a few days so that baby has no choice but to drink from a cup, and then by the time you come back you have dried up somewhat and it makes nursing less interesting (if baby is interested at all). In your case, could you at least wean down to only mornings and bedtime in a few weeks? Arrange for her to be at daycare or with your husband, and just don’t nurse at all for a few days during the day- and when you do (am, when you come home and before bed), do it only in a set place, like in the rocker in her room.
Good luck! You are right that there isn’t nearly as much out there for how to wean, and part of it is because you basically just keep throwing things at the wall until something sticks.
hoola hoopa says
No need to build up a freezer stash at this point if you’re content with pumping for another two months. If you want to, though, you’ll have to pump extra sessions (which in my mind is more hassle and would raise your supply when you’ll soon want it to decrease). FWIW, one of mine refused bottles at daycare around 10 months old, and so I just stopped pumping. She was eating solids really well and would take water from a sippy (she refused anything else) and nursed when she was with me. She did fine.
I’ve weaned cold turkey and gradually. I don’t think one is better than the other. They each have their advantages and disadvantages, so pick whichever you think would work for you and baby. IME, kids vary in what they want as a nursing substitute depending on child and time of day. A cup of warm milk, a cup of cold milk, a food pouch, a snuggle, or a physical activity are all options.
Sippy cups… I don’t think there’s a perfect approach there. Just try some. I have found it’s easiest to start with spout sippies that dribble (ie, no valve), like take and toss – but someone else will have a something else that worked for them and their kids. I also introduced a cup around then, which I think is easier for baby to understand and learn than straw or spout sippies. We’ve used duralux Picardie mini tumblers and a repurposed bottle lid – but those tiny dixie or solo cups would probably work, too.
Momata says
I’m not sure why you need a freezer stash – you’re within eyeshot of being able to start cow’s milk at a year, so if you can keep up your supply as is, that will make it easier to ramp down. I second all the advice to start introducing sippies of water at mealtime. The soft spout Nuk cup worked well for us as a first cup; then we moved on to the Munchkin locking cups. I also second the advice to stop nursing on demand and move towards nursing-as-scheduled-nourishment only – your baby is in the sweet spot where redirection works well for sadness and frustration, so I’d drop those sessions. If baby wants cuddles, try reading a book instead. At a year, start substituting cow’s milk for some of those nursing-for-nourishment sessions, keeping the morning and nighttime sessions for as long as you’d like.
anonymama says
Yeah, if you want to start weaning soon I wouldn’t worry about the freezer stash, assuming baby is eating food pretty well and will start on cow’s milk at 12 months, as most babies do. By 14 months your baby will be eating lots of regular food, and drinking cow’s milk, so it will really not be that huge of a transition. I mean, babies are really designed to transition to food, and usually start to nurse much less often as they eat and drink more other food. As everyone said, you can help it along by making sure they get lots of other food to eat, and offer breastmilk less often, and try to redirect to other food/drink/comfort source. As baby nurses less often, in theory your supply will go down, baby will get less milk, and therefore will nurse less often, and thus goes the cycle. Starting to pump more now will just make it harder on you.
Anon says
I’m petite, but my b**bs get so humongous when I am bf’ing that none of the nursing tops I’ve tried fit right. Anyone have luck on styles that work for busty petites? (32G/H on 5’2″ size 0/2P).
hoola hoopa says
I’m same bust/height – but more of a size 6 overall – and it is a challenge. I stopped complaining about my normal 30Es, lol.
For nursing tops, I stuck with bravado tanks and layered with knit tops (form fitting and loose), cardigans, and scarfs. Wrap tops and dresses are flattering, but you have to be mindful of cleavage at work.
Cdn lawyer says
Any fenugreek success stories? Baby is 3 weeks old and not yet at birth weight. My LC immediately said to go on domperidone., which I am reluctant to do. How much fenugreek did you use/ how did you prepare it?
mascot says
I did the fenugreek capsules, but can’t remember the exact dose. It helped some, but constantly smelling like maple syrup got old. I also drank a ton of water and ate oatmeal. We supplemented with formula from the beginning and it still took my guy a month to gain a pound. There is usually a growth spurt around 3 weeks so the cluster feedings that go with that should help your supply and baby’s weight gain.
LPA says
Have you checked with your baby’s pediatrician? Not to frighten / judge, and obviously I have limited info, but I would be really concerned about the baby not being above birthweight by week 3, and I would strongly recommend checking with an MD as to whether it makes sense to supplement with formula at this point, and well as to make sure that your baby is generally healthy notwithstanding the slow weight gain.
As to your actual question, I would skip the fenugreek, which is hit or miss (miss for me, so maybe I’m prejudiced), and go straight to the real drugs. I would also recommend that you pump, both to get your volume up and so that you can see how your baby is eating from a bottle (ie is this a BFing issue, or is this an eating issue more broadly, and also how hungry is the baby?).
Good luck!
Cdn lawyer says
Thanks, we were with our MD today and are getting a referral to a paediatrician but MD had no concerns other than slow weight gain. She has good diaper output. She was 9lbs 6oz at birth (not sure if that makes a difference at all. )
After doing some reading I am going to start the drugs.
MomAnon4This says
I used the Mother’s Milk Tea or Milkmaid Tea in the tea aisle at my regular grocery stores.
Similac also sells a breastfeeding supplement, not sure where to get it – maybe in the baby feeding aisles at the big box stores?
Are you sure the “problem” is your supply vs. your baby’s eating style? I have no idea about these things.
Cdn lawyer says
LC seems to think supply is the issue because baby seems to be a great eater.
Thanks for the comments- I am trying not to get discouraged and be too hard on myself. I had of course heard how hard breastfeeding was but still wasn’t prepared for this!
JEB says
I had early supply issues. We had to supplement with a little bit of formula (less than an ounce after each nursing session) for approximately a week. Thankfully, the baby went back and forth between the two seamlessly. During that week, I nursed frequently, and when I wasn’t nursing, I was pumping, except overnight when I gave myself a break from the pump. The pumping helped encourage my supply to finally come in. I also took Fenugreek (two capsules, three times a day), but who knows if it helped.
Have you thought about trying to add a few pump sessions to see if that helps?
Good luck. I know it’s incredibly discouraging, exhausting, and frustrating!
quailison says
There’s no way to be prepared – you are doing the best you can! It is so, so, so hard for some women, including myself ( and annoyingly easy for others) and it seems to be hard in different ways for everyone. I hope it gets better – no harm in supplementing especially if you can pump to up your supply in conjunction. Things really turned a corner for me at 8 weeks (latch problem) and I hope your corner turns ASAP!
Anon says
Fenugreek capsules worked for me when I was dealing supply problems because of work and pumping. Has your LC weighed the baby before and after feeding? I was told to supplement with formula when baby was a newborn bc of jaundice. I refused and tried supplementing with pumped milk instead. Good luck! I know it’s very stressful. Follow your gut along with all of the medical advice.
Fenugreek says
It took my baby five weeks to get back to her birth weight. She was jaundiced in the beginning and had a tongue tie. This tanked my supply without my knowing it until we saw that she wasn’t gaining weight for three straight weeks. This was insanely stressful. I had a three week old baby that wasn’t gaining weight and I was totally exhausted.
Different things work for different people. I started taking fenugreek, blessed thistle and brewers yeast. I nursed and pumped a lot, and my supply increased dramatically. I take four fenugreek capsules, two blessed thistle captures, and two brewers yeast tablets three times a day. I also did a few power pumping days. On regular days, I would pump after three or four of my baby’s nursing sessions for the first two weeks. Then I just started to occasionally throw in a pumping session when my baby was sleeping.
I’m not going to lie. It wasn’t fun. No one tells you how hard breastfeeding can really be. Or how common it can be for a baby to have weight gain issues in the beginning. But, happy ending: my baby nurses like a champ now. I no longer dread feeding sessions or feel overwhelmed all the time. I still take my baby to a clinic where they have a baby scale you can walk in and use any time. I take her once a week even though she’s consifstently gaining 8-9 ounces a week and has been for the last two months. It makes me feel better, so that’s what we do!
I also highly recommend seeing a lactation consultant. Ideally one who will not stress you out and make you feel like a bad mom. I saw two. The first one made me cry and feel absolutely awful about myself when I was already feeling guilty enough that my baby wasn’t eating. The second said the first rule is baby eats. If this means you supplement with formula, no big deal. She was so much more low key. She kept me relaxed which I think helped my supply and also helped me get a better latch with my baby.
Sorry this is so long, but I’ve been the and I know it’s stressful. I found “success stories” to be really helpful.
anon for this says
We used a supplement herbal called Motherlove More Milk – the drops – and it worked obscenely well – like an additional 6-8 ounces/day well.
AEK says
I used it with some success and occasionally go back on it for a couple days, after being sick or something. I did capsules (3 caps 3 times a day, which is more than label but A-OK by lactation consultant. FWIW I like Solaray brand best) and would also add a couple full droppers of tincture to hot water once per day. If you don’t smell like syrup after 1-2 days, you know you’re not getting a lactation-boosting dose and you should take more.
My baby lost weight in week 1 and gained slowly for the next 2 weeks. It’s so hard not to worry, but if your doc is OK, then you just focus on getting in those good feeds! Good luck!
Lorelai Gilmore says
I did fenugreek, goats rue, blessed thistle, shatavari, Metformin, marshmallow, oatmeal, brewer’s yeast, and some other stuff. None of it made a perceptible difference. We also did a frenulectomy, cranial-sacral therapy, lactation consulting, acupuncture, and endless, endless power-pumping on a hospital grade pump. Various MDs and lactation consultants confirmed that you need to take a LOT of fenugreek to make it work. You may have more success with the tincture than the capsule. And the other herbs – goats rue and blessed thistle, primarily, can complement fenugreek.
However, the only thing that really helped me was domperidone. I had two side effects from the domperidone: 1) I was hungry all the time; and 2) it was extremely hard to lose weight. (Probably those were the same side effect.) And even with all of those interventions, I never was able to produce enough to exclusively breastfeed or develop a freezer stash.
It was really, really hard. I cried so much. I hope that whatever you decide to do, you know (in your heart, not just in your head) that feeding a baby is not the only part of motherhood – it’s not even the most important part of motherhood. Formula feeding is a wonderful, intimate, special bonding choice, as is breastfeeding. What matters is the connection with your child, not the source of the food. Your baby will grow and thrive and love you no matter how you feed him.
TBK says
How does everyone maintain their friendships? And how often are you able to get together with friends (especially those you don’t see without planning — that is, people other than co-workers)? I feel like I never see anyone but part of it is just the logistics. My husband goes out more often than I do, and part of it is that he just makes plans. I know if I did the same, he’d be fine with watching the kids, but I just tend not to make plans because I think I need to be home. The result is that I only see my co-workers and my family. And my MIL and au pair are great and all, but they clearly should not be my social life. What do other people with small children/babies do?
3kids says
I’m not great at this, but the things I do are:
– events with kids – I will get to hang out with my friend while the kids (aged 4 and under) run wild in one of our houses.
– lunches with friends during the workday – sacrifice billable time, but worth it and much easier logistics-wise for those of us with kids.
What I don’t do:
– get childcare for nights or weekends so I can see friends – I feel like I don’t see my kids enough already.
– go out after the kids are sleeping – this was doable when I had one baby who went to sleep at 7. (Same rationale for date nights.) Now I have two that don’t go down until 8:30 or later (and a baby), and I’m too exhausted to do anything other than prepare for the next day.
TBK says
Yeah, next year when the boys are two, I’m thinking of doing a lot of early weekend morning playground trips with other parents. I figure we find a fenced-in play area, pick up some coffees on the way over, and the grown ups can stand around talking while the little ones run off their energy. Also, what else is there to do at 7:00am on a Saturday when everyone has already been up for two hours?