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The hunt for the perfect white shirt never seems to end. This one from Athleta may end my search.
I’ve been intrigued by Athleta’s work-leisure offerings, and this shirt is no exception. Made from “performance poplin,” this shirt is quick drying, breathable, and lightweight. It also has some stretch, resists abrasions (in case you get caught in the train doors), and is water repellent (for when you dump coffee on yourself).
On top of all that, it’s made from recycled polyester from water bottles.
The Midtown Shirt is $98 and comes in sizes XXS–3X.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Realist says
Can I just say that watching the Ketanji Brown Jackson hearings brings up such mixed emotions? I love that she is a working mom that has clearly thought a lot about what it means to be a working mom, which is so amazing. But then I also have to watch all these old men clearly trying to trigger her and get a rise out of her with their ridiculous questions. She is handling it like a champ because she has dealt with this BS all her life. But it makes me angry that she can’t get angry and start yelling, spittle flying, like Brett Kavanaugh. We all know she can’t do that. This is progress? So frustrating.
And bless Senator Hirono for opening her questioning (after Hawley) with the question “Have you ever been credibly accused of sexual assault?” and just letting that “No” answer hang in the air.
Anyway, just in my feelings about this historic nomination but also all these conservative men rubbing it in our faces at how little progress has really been made by how these hearings are going.
Anonymous says
Mazie Hirono is my hero and just seems like an all-around great person. A friend of mine once sat next to her on an airplane, and the senator was kind enough to engage in a long chat about substantive issues.
Anonymous says
As someone who works closely with public defenders, it makes me so incredibly angry that she is being criticized for working as a public defender. So many of these senators are lawyers. They know full well that representing a criminal defendant is not endorsing crime, just supporting the Constitution and ensuring that the justice system functions correctly without trampling on anyone’s essential rights.
AIMS says
+1. It is so troubling that lawyers are now taking issue with someone’s clients now. There is a great op-Ed about this by the NY State Bar Association president today in the NY Law Journal:
“Justice is only served if there is vigorous and single-minded advocacy for each party on each side of a case. All people, even those accused of a crime—especially those accused of a crime— are entitled to the same zealous representation by counsel, regardless of their seeming guilt or innocence, their ability to pay or their status in society.”
Anonanonanon says
Yes. Like so many things, THEY KNOW BETTER, they are just performing for a base that doesn’t. It’s infuriating to see her attacked for doing well at something she had an ethical obligation to work her hardest to do…
Boston Legal Eagle says
https://19thnews.org/2022/03/federal-judiciary-white-men-diversity/
You have to scroll way down to see any representation. It seems like we have made a lot of progress but really we are still in the early stages, being the last 50 years or so. Progress is slowww.
Anonymous says
Same feelings.
Aunt Jamesina says
I made the mistake of listening to NPR this morning. I really liked Durbin’s speech, but the followup comments… ugh. So, so sick of this ridiculous posturing by the Republicans. They know they aren’t asking questions for any reason beyond signaling to their followers and they just don’t give a f*ck. Women (and *especially* Black women) know they can’t appear at all angry or even frustrated and it’s enraging.
Anonymous says
I’m just obsessed with KBJ. I was lucky to have lunch with her once (she used to work at the law firm where I was working at the time) and she is just as approachable as she seems.
A bit more on the topic of your post– I saw a meme of her facial expressions while she was being asked some of the more ridiculous questions and it was hilarious. She is certainly staying composed and can’t show outrage like a white man could, but she also isn’t exactly keeping a poker face. I love it.
Aunt Jamesina says
That is so cool! A few weeks ago, PBS Newshour interviewed people who have worked with her over the years. I thought it was telling that everyone seemed not only impressed by her background and work ethic, but genuinely seemed to like her as a person.
Anonymous says
Can I just say F Kavanaugh. He’s such a disgrace and that had to be the worst confirmation process. Yechhhh.
An.On. says
I’m not tracking it because I feel very sure it’s just going to piss me off that she’s getting these questions.
Cb says
I’ve got it on in the background and I haven’t watched a confirmation before. Do the senators always sound so slow and rambly? She sounds like me when my students ask really stupid questions.
Anonanonanon says
Yes. They use the time to make speeches instead of actually ask questions. They’re always this bad.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Let’s not forget not only is she a woman, she’s a woman of color, specifically a Black woman. The burden on her compared to a Kavanaugh, or even a white woman (remember ACB’s blank notebook) is sky high.
Realist says
Moderna announced positive trial data and will be seeking an EUA for the under 5s soon! Finally!
Anon says
That’s good news but I’ll get excited when the FDA actually approves. I think they’re going to sit on it forever. Moderna isn’t even approved for teens yet and i believe it has to go in reverse age order because of the trial design.
Anony says
I don’t disagree with your cynicism at all, but this article explains the reverse age order issue – it’s actually two separate things. The trials have to be run in reverse age order, but there is no requirement like that for FDA authorization. The key paragraph: “Age de-escalation describes how some clinical trials are run, including the COVID-19 vaccine trials. Adults are enrolled first, and once the vaccines are proven safe and effective, then the trial extends to younger and younger age groups….But when it comes to authorizing vaccines, that doesn’t apply. ‘There’s no such policy, and we would have been happy to skip an age group,” the FDA official told me.'”
https://www.propublica.org/article/whats-holding-up-the-covid-vaccines-for-children-under-5
Anon says
Ok that’s good to know. I remain extremely cynical about the FDA. Hopefully we can road trip to Canada and get it this summer.
Anon says
Agreed. And while I’m grateful to have a vaccine hopefully available, I was really pulling for Pfizer. I’m as pro-vax as they come, but I had a severe reaction to dose 2 of my Moderna vaccine and was in the hospital for a day due to rare side effects. I’m reluctant to give my kids Moderna after my own personal experience (fortunately, I was pretty much fine after my Pfizer booster). We may be waiting and seeing how other young kids for a few months if it’s Moderna versus Pfizer, which is a tough position to be in.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yay!! I really hope this goes through, and soon. Although my youngest will now be the only one in the family to get non-Pfizer.
Favors says
Birthday parties are back in full swing in our circle, so let’s hear your favorite party favors. I loathe all of the tiny plastic junk that ends up floating all around our house. I tend to prefer one bigger item. My favorites have included a beach ball, an animal-shaped balloon (non-helium), and a hula hoop.
Cb says
We haven’t been to many birthday parties yet, but a friend did these cool frosted animal cookies from a local bakery. One of those little fossil kits would be neat for fossil lovers. Another friend did seedbombs since she figured the pandemic era children didn’t know there were “supposed” to be plastic favours.
Anonymous says
Jump ropes were a big hit. For a space themed party, I gave out mini space themed puzzle books.
Anon says
We did soccer balls for a soccer party. A friend did books – kids could just grab one from the table. For my three year old’s party coming up I’m doing small play dough sensory kit type jars, which I’m excited about.
Agreed on single items! We did bubble sticks one year, but that felt kinda weak. Oh we did tutus for a ballet party and the girls all wore them during the party. I like to come up with one item that’s like $8 and doesn’t involve wrapping!
Anonymous says
We’ve only been to preschool parties but our favorite party favors have been play-doh (you can never have too much!) and fancy cookies. Also, pictures of the kids at the party are always nice (like polaroid/instax on a cute mounting).
Agree that little plastic toys are annoying.
Anonymous says
One option is to do a craft during the party and have that be the party favor.
jz says
Stickers (for the younger kids). small coloring book and crayons (though i think this one will get annoying if i get more than 2sets of small crayola packs).
Anonymous says
I hate tiny plastic junk party favors, too. Here are my favorites:
Crafts completed during the party that go home with the kids
Probably expensive, but one party had a balloon artist, and those creations were the favors. (always the potential for lots of tears when they pop prematurely, though)
Pokemon cards handed out at the beginning of the pokemon-themed party so the kids could trade & admire their haul
GCA says
A recent birthday party did a chef’s hat + apron + wooden spatula that kid 2 uses with the play food/ kitchen all the time.
Mary Moo Cow says
Consumables or things with a short shelf life, or a book! A decorated cookie, a helium balloon, a themed book, coloring book. I agree that less is more.
Favorite favors I’ve given are a goody bag with theme sunglasses, pencil, and bookmark; on-the-go coloring pack. We’re hosting a birthday party at the local animal shelter soon and each child will get to pick a small stuffed dog or cat and decorate a cardboard house for it. I’m counting that as the favor.
Anonymous says
I have all girls, so YMMV here, but for one of my kids I did a backyard movie night party. The invites were pajamas and the party favors were glow sticks worn that night and a few to take home and matching pajamas for their 18″ American-Girl size dolls. Yes, I knew in advance that all the girls had one. A friend had a party where all the kids got their hair styled. Goodie bags were a personalized brush (used at the party then provided as a favor so one per girl), nail polishes, and chapstick + candy.
For the more preschool age, I’ve been to parties where there are various crafty things and you get to take it home as the party favor (make your own slime, play dough, etc). We’ve been to parties where the favor was a coloring book and bubbles (choose one on the way out!), punch balloons, and we went to one Seriously Over the Top party that was cowboy themed and the kids all got a hobby horse as part of the goody bag.
Older kids- a b’day party where they tie dye shirts, paint mugs, etc. One party was where they painted mugs and they were sent off to be kiln dried. Mugs were delivered a few weeks later with marshmallows, hot cocoa, and a thank you note for the b’day gift.
Other good stuff for goodie bags: bath paint ($1 at target), bath bombs, tattoos, pencils, crayons, anything edible (goldfish crackers, fruit snacks, ring pops, whatever). Chapstick/lipgloss, nail polish, hair extension clip-ins, hair brushes, etc.
Anonymous says
are favors required? like i dont want any additional stuff in my house, so do i have to give something out?
Anonymous says
They are not required, but I was shocked at just how demanding little kids are when it comes to favors. The time I gave out those little packages from the dollar spot at Target with crayons and a coloring book, at least half of them said something like “This isn’t a goody bag. Where’s my goody bag?”
Anon says
Yeah we had a casual park party for my 4 year old last month and did goody bags and half the kids demanded them upfront.
Katrinka says
Kids get really excited about them, including the birthday child. It’s fun for them to give a little something to their friends.
anon says
man if this isn’t the constant dilemma of my life as a parent.
Anon says
With the caveat that my kids have summer birthdays and the ability to have parties outside helps me stomach the inevitable mess, we like to do activities that lend themselves to a “take-home” for all of the kids. Some hits have been tie dying tshirts, decorate your own cookie kits and garden gnome painting. A recent favorite from a friend’s party was a water bottle (I think from Target dollar spot or somewhere similar?) filled with candy and temporary tattoos.
Anon says
We also had a summer party and I bought foam water blasters for the kids to play (there was a whole game where they had to blast alien targets around the yard that they played for HOURS). Those and a balloon from the decor were the favors. I agree with trying to tie the favor to the theme or activities of the party
Anonymous says
Nice-ish animal figurines relevant to the theme of the party (plastic, sorry), Melissa and Doug mini activity books (spy book for spy party). I’m pretty cheap but we keep the guest list small.
Anonymous says
Oh and water guns/shooters of various types.
Anon says
I have young kids, so those prepackaged “play packs” with a coloring book, crayons, and stickers are our go-to’s. My oldest had a PJ Masks party recently, so PJ Mask character play packs made for an easy favor.
DLC says
+1 for Books! One party we went to when my child was four or five, everyone got an early reader book that we still read.
Crayons or markers or glitter pens are also useful and consumable.
Anon says
Bubbles – especially the no-spill bottle kind. Small packs of sidewalk chalk.
Anon says
I hate sidewalk chalk so much. It gets crumbled outside or in the house or breaks while trying to get it out of the plastic wrapping. I can’t stand the feel of it on my fingers (when I am inevitably cleaning up after the tiny kids). Mostly it falls in the “cheap junk” category for me
anon says
Birthday parties are back in full swing in our circle, so let’s hear your favorite party favors. I loathe all of the tiny plastic junk that ends up floating all around our house. I tend to prefer one bigger item. My favorites have included a beach ball, an animal-shaped balloon (non-helium), and a hula hoop.
Anonymous says
I’m ok with playdoh. But also really like consumables, like a fancy cookie- delicious for kids and parents! We got plastic frozen cups at one party which were/are a huge hit and our kids still use. At the same party we also got a giant lollipop and I def wanted to be like, umm what are you thinking with this? it’s way too big for a kid to eat in one sitting and a definite sticky mess.
Lily says
The best for us has been the “party packs” (Frozen theme or whatever theme the party is) that have a few crayons, a small coloring book and a sheet of stickers, all in one resealable bag. I throw them in the stroller or diaper bag and we whip them out at restaurants, etc. Great thing to have, but I don’t like buying stuff like that for ourselves!
anonamama says
As mentioned, potty training on the agenda this weekend. I followed the script to inform daycare, per Oh Crap, and as anticipated, the mean teacher was a real B about it this morning. From what I can surmise, it’s a staffing issue (center is experiencing this on the whole) because they have 4 kids already that need to go; and she can’t always take them as a one-off outside of group trips. So far today, she’s left snarky comments in our app: “having trouble pulling pants over diaper”; “told me he was dry but he pooped.” I’m forging ahead because he’s showing signs at home; but any experience with this kind of stuff at daycare??! (Also downloading the Oh Crap course on daycare). Thanks for the hand holding/moral support.
Anon says
If you feel the teacher is mean in general than maybe take this with a grain of salt. But in my experience daycare teachers know far more about potty training than most parents and if they feel the kid is not ready he probably isn’t. His old?
OP says
He’s 2.5. I feel there is some merit here, but overall the message seems to be ‘delay’.
Anon says
What signs of readiness are you seeing? Despite what Oh Crap says, not all 2.5 year olds are ready to potty train, and trying to do it too early can cause a lot of problems and draw out the process much longer than it would otherwise take.
EDAnon says
My kids both showed readiness at 2.5 that faded quickly (our ped warned us that may happen). Both potty trained about a year later.
I also know that being a child care teacher is a hard job, even when fully staffed. They do a lot for our kids and I would likely delay potty training if a teacher asked me to. Though, I don’t know your interest in doing it now which might outweigh hers.
Spirograph says
I tend to agree with this. Also, forging ahead with potty training when you don’t have daycare on board is like banging your head against a wall. At our center, they’d start potty training a group of x kids at a time based on who they thought was ready; they’d send home a little info sheet about what they were doing at school and suggestions for what to do at home. We just followed their lead, and it was very low-stress, low-drama. We had a little potty at home before that, but didn’t start pushing it until daycare took the lead.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t assume that the teachers are making individualized assessments of potty readiness. Our day care did potty training in one classroom, the whole class at the same time. If your kid wasn’t ready at that time or it didn’t take, it was 100% on the parents to train at home with no support at school. Mine was not quite ready when her turn came at 2y5mo. She moved up to the next class at 2y8mo and was ready shortly thereafter, but the teachers in that class wouldn’t cooperate so we had to wait until a holiday break and do it ourselves.
EDAnon says
I have never heard of this before. I don’t think this is a common approach.
Anon says
+1 this seems very weird to me. Our daycare will work with any kid who is ready, even though potty trips are not a regular part of the classroom routine until the preschool (3-5 year old) classes.
anonM says
Echoing a comment above — maybe it’s a little soon, depending on age. I would talk directly to the teacher, they’re good at gauging readiness. My two cents here is informed by my two very different kiddos, both of whom we started potty training at home and daycare worked with us to be consistent, etc. I started with DS at just over 2ys, because he showed what I thought were signs of readiness and seemed eager. It was horrible. We just stopped and then didn’t restart again until about 3, when we had a full week home. Looking back, while he showed interest, that is different than readiness. He was still not great at getting his pants up, not great at getting up on the step stool and then onto the potty. And, emotionally definitely not ready (he would purposely pee in the living room, for example. UGH). Even when we started again, it was difficult, and I’m glad we had the extra time at home because daycare would not have been happy to deal with him on day 3, and I don’t blame them. DD was totally different — we let her practice a lot at home, but still used diapers (things like letting her get used to the routine of going potty before bed) and waited until she could do most of the mechanics herself (I now wipe for BMs and have to turn on the sink for her, but the rest she does). She told me and insisted on being potty trained when she was ready, and it was so much easier. She’s had very very few accidents at home or school. After this, I’d really stress that it’s so much easier when the kiddo is truly ready — and daycare can be your partner in figuring that out. If your LO is not insisting yet/refusing a diaper, waiting a few more weeks is OK. Trying this weekend and then stopping if it isn’t going well is OK too.
Aunt Jamesina says
I’m sorry. Take this with a grain of salt, because I’m sure this is a rough transition for everyone and is hard on you (and I believe you that this teacher is generally unpleasant!), but those comments from the teacher don’t read as snarky to me, just facts that she should be reporting to you. Her being frustrated by this situation and knowing that a potty training kid is going to create even more work is human, as is yours over not feeling like your kid’s needs are being met.
Can we also retire using b* as a derogatory term for women plz? :-/
Anon says
Yes, please.
AwayEmily says
My experience is that a weekend is not enough to get kids daycare-ready — you basically need to have them home/with you for a week before they have it down enough that daycare can handle them. We trained my first over a 3-day weekend and had many of the same issues at daycare. It quickly became clear that they couldn’t give her quite the individual attention she needed at that point. She kept having accidents at daycare (but not at home) for about a month. In contrast, we trained my second over a weeklong vacation and afterwards he was totally fine for daycare. I was pretty annoyed with the daycare after my experience with my first but I think in retrospect I had unrealistic expectations about (1) the attention they’d be able to provide and (2) how far kids can get in just a weekend.
OP says
thanks all – I appreciate the added insight. I was feeling particularly charged this morning, but I am going to make a plan, sleep on it and see how it goes tomorrow. This context is helpful, as always.
Anonymous says
Is there an actual staffing issue at play? Our center has always been persnickety about everything BUT because of covid related cohorting (required for state licensure, not a center specific thing) they have struggled more with staffing ratios for bathroom trips/dealing with accidents and actually changed the rules to “you can’t send in underwear until the kid has been solid for a week at home.” I found that personally frustrating because it meant I had to wait an extra couple months until we had a week where kiddo was home, but I totally understand why they did it. And then kiddo trained super easily in a few days.
Night Help Advice says
My comment posted much later than I submitted yesterday so I’m going to try again today, but thank you to those that left encouraging replies yesterday! I’d love to hear more experiences, positive or negative.
Would anyone be willing to share their experience with a night nanny/newborn care specialist? I’m expecting my second this summer and will have an almost-3-year-old. I’ll have maternity leave but am worried about keeping up with the toddler while running on no sleep on the days I don’t have other care for him. I’ve spoken to one person that I thought sounded great, but they are very pricey. I’m trying to decide whether it is worth it. DH has a medical condition that makes it impossible for him to help overnight and will have a very short parental leave, so he’s fully supportive of me lining up whatever I think I need. Also, for what it’s worth, I’ll be exclusively formula feeding.
Anonymous says
If you can afford it, I highly, highly recommend it. My night nanny was an incredible resource for me and my twins. She night trained them, realized they had reflux and helped me navigate that, and just generally saved me from total exhaustion. It’s expensive and I would 100% do it again in a heartbeat. I had a four year old when we brought the twins home.
Anon says
our night nurse saved my life. i have twins and i honestly don’t know how i would have survived without her. they are all pricey, but if you find someone you like (definitely check references), then it is worth it. i combo fed so i was still getting up all night, if you are exclusively formula feeding that means you can sleep all night. our nurse also did baby laundry and washed bottles.
Anon says
This seems like a perfect situation for a night nurse! Could you hire the night nurse only for weekends, or evenings before days that you don’t have care for the three year-old? That way you can store some energy to spend the day with the 3YO without paying for every night.
I don’t have personal experience with a paid night nurse, but my sister stayed many nights with our newborn while he was formula fed in the first two months. I would absolutely pay for that experience of having a quality caregiver with the baby so I could recover. In my mind, this falls in the same category as other birth-related expenses, like pelvic PT or a babysitter for older kid while you’re in labor. It sounds like your DH supports the plan, and you and baby are worth it!
anon says
If you can afford it, DO IT. I have a friend that had one for 16 weeks with her 2nd and 3rd and it was a game changer. I was fortunate enough to hire one for three, non-consecutive nights at about 7ish weeks. I had had my mom helping for much of the first six. Those three nights were a gift to myself and I don’t regret a single penny. If I could have afforded more, I definitely would have made the investment in my mental health, my marriage, and my sleep.
Anonymous says
A night nurse for 16 weeks straight? Now that is a level of luxury I can’t even comprehend :)
Anonymous says
That’s like a whole year’s worth of private school tuition.
Anon says
If you can afford it, I HIGHLY recommend it. We didn’t have one for our first but hired nighttime help with our second for ~14 nights over the first 3-4 weeks we were home from the hospital and it was game changing. I was also EBF and even with that, it was so much better for me. Life felt so much more manageable with good sleep in the early days. She got us through the worst of the newborn sleep struggles and I was able to physically rest and recover after giving birth. I honestly wish I could gift one to every new mom – it makes that big of a difference.
Momofthree says
As others have said, I highly recommend it, assuming it’s within your budget and COVID cautiousness.
I waited for one with my first, but he was a colicky baby that would literally fuss all night. Around 2 months I started with a night nurse so I could rest and get more than 2-3 hours of sleep. We had them on and off until the baby was 6 months old- unfortunately the fussiness didn’t really get better in that time. I was literally spending 1000s a week, but it was worth it so I could get some sleep. My second was a good sleeper from the beginning, so we just cobbled things together and my third was born in summer ’20 so we relied on family help (and the snoo).
I would highly recommend the night nurse. They may be less willing to do fewer nights a week for a longer period of time, but I’m guessing as long as you can guarantee them a certain number of hours it shouldn’t be an issue. Be aware that most have nightly minimums (8 or 10 hours) so when you’re looking at pricing be aware of that.
Also, if you end up not needing them, you can always discontinue- better to have something lined up, especially if your husband can’t help at night.
Anonymous says
If you are exclusively formula feeding then I think this would be an awesome idea!!! As an EBFing mom I didn’t see the appeal since I needed to get up to feed the baby anyways.
A cheaper option, I think, would be to line up care for the 3 year old during the day when you need it. Or a few times a week. FWIW, I stayed at home with my 2.5 year old and refluxy newborn. The sleep deprivation surprisingly wasn’t a huge issue. Like yes I was sleep deprived with a newborn, but it was ok. My 2.5 yo got a lot more screen time than normal during the first few months but oh well. A babysitter a few afternoons a week would’ve been amazing for all of us. Also, a house cleaner!
WWYD says
I am burnt out at work (fed govt) mostly due to BS at work, but also because I have a kid with special needs during a two-year pandemic. I’m lead attorney on a case team in litigation, and until quite recently, I also was lead attorney on a massive investigation. The workload–combined with lack of resources and lack of support–is exhausting, so I’m applying for other jobs. Complicating all this is that we’re TTC a second child, and I need paid parental leave wherever I go. It’s hard to find another position with my specialty that isn’t jumping from the frying pan into the fire, or requiring a one-year wait to take advantage maternity benefits. While I hunt, I want to request “reduced” full-time hours so that I don’t have to be churning literally every minute from 8 to 5 while my kid is in daycare. Technically, billing anything upwards of 32 hours/week is full-time, and I’d get paid additional for hours more than 32. Given my lead role, I think my management chain will not be receptive. Any scripts? Should I tell management that I’m looking elsewhere? I think my chain will be more receptive if I blame the step-back on my family responsibilities, but I resent feeling like I have to put the blame on my family when it’s the job that sucks, not them.
Mary Moo Cow says
WorkParent had an article on that recently: “How to Ask for the Flex You Need.” I thought it was just published last week, but it was actually March 9 (sigh.) It’s on workparent.com/articlesandadvice.
OP says
Thank you! There are great scripts in there. Also a helpful website generally!
Spirograph says
I am not a lawyer, but workload and career goals seem like they should be part of any periodic check-ins you have with your management, right? “I’d like to talk about my workload. It’s been a very busy couple of years, and although I’ve handled [fill in achievements here] with minimal support, this is not sustainable for me, long-term. I need [fewer hours, more resources, etc] to accomplish [goals and objectives] while protecting my sanity and work-life balance. I propose [solution].” And then give them time to consider.
Turnover is *expensive* so if they’re smart they’ll read between the lines without you have to come out and say you’re looking, and make some changes to try to retain you in your current role. And then maybe if you get what you need, you won’t need to worry about finding a new job and waiting out the clock for maternity benefits.
govtattymom says
I’m sorry you are so burnt out! I am in a similar role (also federal government). When I was pondering reducing my hours, I was told that management would be most receptive if I framed it as a temporary work-life issue (I have xyz going on for the next six months so would like to reduce my hours to address that and then return to full hours and a full caseload). I never asked for the reduced schedule as I moved closer to family to address the work-life conflict. Best of luck with the job and TTC!
EDAnon says
I know someone who was able to do that for short-term. Basically, I was to work X for the next Y months and then reassess. It worked for her!
OP says
This is reinforcing my decision to find a new job. I tried this previously with low success. A family member had a very serious health issue in the fall with Delta, so I tried to negotiate just 2 fewer hours per week under covid-specific leave policies. My management chain agreed, but basically told me to hurry up and get back as soon as possible.
Thanks for the luck! Ideally I’d conceive, white knuckle the next nine months, get my paid parental leave, and then never return. If only it were that easy to plan!
anon says
Posting to see comment threads
Anon says
same
PetiteMom says
Let’s talk personal finance. I know there are a lot of money savvy ladies between the readers so I am curious how you invest your money. Last year have we invested a large sum of money with Chase brokerage services via their financial advisor but we see little return on our money. Additionally their fees are outrageous. Please share some ideas where I should start. It seems that paying for these services is not a good use of our money. Clearly we need to be hands on and constantly monitor the accounts. We basically want the money invested in such way that we can take out a large sum of money for a house down payment. I am also looking into opening a college savings plan for our son who is 5. We are in Illinois so I have heard the advisor directed Bright Directions 529 is the best. I am a lawyer and have no finance background but I am ready to educate myself.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m a lawyer too but I’ve gotten into personal finance a lot over the last few years. A fee only financial advisor should be able to help give you a full financial assessment and plan specific to your situation, but here is what we do if it helps: We have two separate 529s for our kids, one with our state that gives some tax benefits, and one elsewhere. I am not sure what Illinois has, but I’d see if there are any state-specific ones that you can use to get some tax benefits, otherwise a plan offered by Fidelity or Vanguard is probably a good bet.
For investments, we have a mutual fund at Vanguard – the Admiral Total Stock Index I think, basically you want to track the stock index as it allows you to be completely hands off and have very low fees. It’s been shown time and time again that just following an index gets you better returns than trying to pick stocks or time the market. This is more for long term investment and not necessarily for short term needs like a house down payment. For that, we just put our money in a slightly higher interest savings account (Ally) and withdrew when ready, as we wanted to access it quickly and the returns aren’t enough to worry about losing out on growth or worse, losing a lot in a down market, like the index fund is.
Anonymous says
This is all good advice and what my financial advisor husband would suggest. I’d avoid delving into FIRE unless retiring early is super important to you.
Pogo says
Is the Admiral fund only available once you have $0.5M or $1M or something with them? or does it need to be a specific min investment in the fund?
Boston Legal Eagle says
It’s a minimum investment in the fund itself and I believe it’s $10K now (used to be $30K). So you can start with the regular index fund and then they automatically move you once you hit the minimum.
Anon says
I don’t have nearly as much money as some here, but it’s all in index funds. I think that’s generally considered the best thing for money you want invested long term. I’m not sure what the best strategy is if you expect to need the money for a down payment.
For 529s you can open one in any state but you only reap tax benefits from your local plan. We’re in Indiana and get a nice state tax credit (20% of contributions up to $5k) so we max that out, but don’t contribute to the 529 beyond that because that amount should cover our state universities and we expect significant financial aid from elite private colleges if our kid is able to get into one. Grandparents will probably help too so to keep it doesn’t make sense to have hundreds of thousands tied up in 529s.
anonM says
If you want to learn, check out some of the FIRE (financial independence retire early) reddits/blogs/podcasts. DH (loves personal finance, has an MBA) likes Mr. Money Moustache and follows various FIRE blogs. There’s also “Fat fire” and “chubby fire” reddits depending on your goals. His top personal finance book recommendation is probably Your Money or Your Life, which I was surprised I liked so much.
Anon Lawyer says
I find him to be such a male-oriented perspective sometimes to the point of ludicrousness. Like his ideas on health insurance (mostly unnecessary, just bike and eat healthy) are kind of terrifying.
Anonymous says
All the people I know who ride bikes seriously are heavy users of health insurance. So many crashes.
Anonymous says
Snort. That sounds like the person in one of the COVID threads on the main page yesterday who told the poster who wanted better ventilation in public places that she must not be eating healthy and working out enough.
Anon says
That is so absurd. I know several people who got cancer young who were athletic and ate well. And nothing racks up hospital bills like cancer.
Anon says
Thank you! I understand he introduced so many to FIRE/kind of started a whole genre in the personal finance space. But I have a hard time taking in his information too!
Anonymous says
I just found a CFP who will do a one-time consultation for a flat fee. I gave him our specific questions and he quoted me a fee and told me what info we will need to provide. We will be getting advice on asset allocation in our retirement accounts, a cash flow analysis, and advice on paying for college and the feasibility of buying a new home.
I refuse to put my assets under management and pay a percentage (fun fact: many CFPs seem to call this model “flat fee” although it is absolutely not!). I also refuse to deal with any advisor who earns a commission or isn’t a fiduciary.
FWIW, I’d really question anyone who advised you to put assets earmarked for use in the near future (e.g., home purchase within the next couple of years) into anything other than an FDIC-insured savings account or maaaaaybe a money market account. When I’m close to making a home purchase, I want cash that’s not going to evaporate and is easy to get my hands on quickly.
LadyNFS says
Probably not what you are looking for, but we use a professional advisory service. Yes, we pay a fee (which we have negotiated down and I recommend doing if you have not done so already). We meet (now on Zoom) at least quarterly but that is our choice -we could speak to them or meet with them much more frequently but just don’t have the bandwidth and trust them. I would not consider myself financially savvy stock market wise (though I do consider myself “with it” re: personal finance) and DH has a finance background but is no longer in that field. For years we did this ourselves mostly with index funds, but in recent years (as we’ve added children and career responsibilities), we realized that we do not have the time to monitor the markets or research stocks / equities the way that we would need to and the way that our advisors do. We make more with them than we did without them. We have 529 accounts for kiddos that are separate, which we add to monthly (dollar cost averaging) and have invested in age-targeted funds. For me, the benefit of good advisors is that you can work out long term financial plans and goals, you can lean on their expertise, and we also have access to private investments (PE, limited partnerships, etc.) that we would otherwise not have if we were managing money ourselves. If you are dissatisfied with your advisors, I would have a frank discussion with them, try to negotiate down the fees, and look elsewhere (if you want to keep going to advisor route). Get recommendations from friends / family / your network. If you want to DIY, my advice is limited because all we did was invest in index funds rather than trade individual stocks, as we were not doing enough research / putting in the time to create a balanced portfolio, and certainly not the way my advisors can / do. I’m sure others have different experiences and am curious to see what they say.
Anonymous says
Do normal people really invest in individual stocks or private equity, though? I don’t think I’d be comfortable with anything beyond index or target-date funds unless I had something like $10 million in assets and was just playing around with fun money.
Anon says
I think people do, but I don’t think it’s smart. It’s very hard to beat index funds.
Test says
I do, exactly as you describe, it’s the fun money part of my portfolio. 95% is in index funds. I’d be fine if I lost everything in the individual stocks, and I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t enjoy it.
I also have some very small holdings in individual stocks that my kids have picked, because it’s been a good way to introduce them to investing as a concept. Oh you like online gaming? let’s buy some AMD stock instead of just vbucks.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Yes, normal people do. My parents owned a business and had no 401(K), so their retirement was all IRA and stock purchases, the latter which they traded accordingly. I also focus on index funds but do purchase certain stocks that I plan to hold.
Anonymous says
What counts as large? We have just under a million in index funds. That’s it. If you give me a time person I can let you know our rate of return and you can compare.
Spirograph says
Oooh I love personal finance! First of all, I want to share my favorite personal finance podcast, Her Money with Jean Chatzky — Back podcast episodes address basically every topic in personal finance ever, and there’s also a website. I highly recommend checking it out.
savingforcollege dot com is a good place to learn more about529s. I can’t speak to that particular 529, but yes, use your state’s if you get a tax advantage for it. I contribute enough to max tax benefits for each of my kid’s 529s. Aggressive portfolio through elementary school, decrease the risk in middle and high school.
When do you want to buy a house? If it’s in <3-5 years, you may want to keep it in cash, or check out ibonds (there's a limit to how much you can buy, but the interest rates are way better than savings or CDs).
For longer term investments, you do not need to pay for services! You also don't need to constantly monitor your accounts. We've recently switched to using a "wealth manager", but I did my own investing for 20 years before that and did a d@mn good job if I do say so myself (definitely helped by the extended bull market). I had a few lucky individual stock picks when I was young, but haven't had time for research in the last 10 years since I've had kids; so I just set up auto monthly deposits from my checking account to buy a mix of low-fee Vanguard index funds each month, set up auto-dividend reinvestment, and rebalanced twice a year. I'd throw in an extra couple hundred $$ occasionally when there was a headline-making market dip. I never sell outside of rebalancing, and I check account balances no more than once a month. Easy-peasy, and historically an extremely successful strategy on a long time horizon. Actively managed mutual funds that beat the market are the exception, not the rule, so unless you want to do a lot of research, it's better to just focus on minimizing fees with index funds/ETFs.
Anon says
+1 for Her Money with Jean Chatzky! I love her podcast (which I learned about from reading here!).
And, we do have individual stocks. We are maybe 60/40 on individual stocks vs. mutual funds/401K target funds. We use a financial advisor who manages our investments outside of our 401ks.
Mary Moo Cow says
If you have someone prepare your taxes, they can be a good source for basic info and referrals for advisors. I agree with others on fee only and index funds. It is probably dated, but I liked Suze Orman’s Young and Broke book for a very basic primer when I was trying to figure out money and Jeff Opdyke’s Financially Ever After. Money magazine was great, too.
DH and I recently sold our house and had a windfall, so we had a fun time deciding what to do with that money. Arguing about 529 vs. index fun is super fun on the first date night out in 18 months, let me tell you.
Our money is split: Bitcoin, Vanguard Index Funds, my government-employer 403(b), DH’s SEP IRA, and two vanilla savings accounts. One of our savings accounts is linked to our checking account, which makes automatic transfers to our savings account every time I use my debit card. This is our emergency car or home repair or big trip travel fund, with the idea that we could withdraw up to $3k from it and still have twice that left over. We bought one Bitcoin for about $20k and that’s “fun in retirement” money or college tuition, with the idea that if it is either going to be worth nothing (we could afford to lose it) or worth $1 mil at retirement. I max out my 403(b) contributions. DH makes yearly contributions to our Index funds after his annual business taxes and accounting are done. We decided to take our $90k from selling our house and invest in an index fund instead of a 529 because while the risk was higher, the reward, was, too. This is our earmarked education fund, with the idea that it is flexible for funding vocational school, college, graduate school, or simply giving kids a hand if they decide not to go to college and make their money elsewhere (note this is something DH and I disagree on, but I’m willing to entertain the idea as long as he was willing to invest the money and earmark it for them.)
anon says
When are you buying this house? If any time in the next 4ish years, you should not be “investing” your downpayment in anything with more than a tiny bit of risk. If your advisor didn’t flag that and put it in stock funds, then yikes. It should be in a high interest savings account or maybe in some bond index funds.
And no, you do not need to be checking your accounts all the time. I self-manage my and spouse’s money (multiple millions now) and I check on things once in a while when it occurs to me, and about once a year more seriously to decide if I want to change anything (anser is pretty much always no). This took some up-front learning on my part (also a lawyer with no finance background) which I did by hanging out on the bogleheads forum a lot until I understood most of what everyone was talking about and listening to a few podcasts. I no longer do either of these things because the entire point was to set it and forget it, and I no longer think much about the portfolio at all. I’m glad I learned, though, as we don’t pay an advisor and it’s a huge confidence-builder to be sure you can handle this stuff, at least it was for me.
Anonymous says
If you told them you want a large chunk of the money safe because you plan to spend it soon, you aren’t seeing high returns because they’ve appropriately parked in in low risk/low return places.
Anonymous says
And/or you maybe lost a bunch of gains recently, so it looks like you hardly made any money overall depending on when specifically you invested last year and most recently checked your balance.
Momofthree says
My husband is super into personal finance. He talked his way into having one of his personal finance heroes manage his portfolio even though we didn’t quite meet the normal minimum amount of funds. I believe that is fee based.
He’s tried various AI- supported & automated portfolio tools, but found them difficult to work with when he was trying to link all of his accounts. We also did one where it would move around our money from 1 checking account to another depending on where we could get the best % interest. This all ended up being too much work for the amount of advantage we were seeing (i.e., we had to open up a ton of different bank accounts).
We currently have most of our emergency savings in a money market general index account, we’re also buying the maximum of ibonds (which are savings bonds + inflation)- this maxes out at 10k per person per year, so we’ve got an auto purchase every week. Beyond that, we contribute to 1 529 total (since it can be used by any of the kids and we don’t get a tax benefits per kid). We have all of our investments in target retirement funds (if you have different options at your company, be sure to check out what the expense ratio is.
As others have said, there’s no reason to be paying someone a % of Assets to invest for you- index funds are your best bet.
Anonymous says
Which Vanguard index funds do folks recommend?
Spirograph says
I literally just picked the ETFs with the smallest expense ratios to cover large, mid, and small cap, and international: VTI, VB, VO, and VT. I don’t do sector-based indexes because I own individual stocks that essentially drive the tech sector index, and my stock options from my employer are all the exposure to my current industry that I want. I don’t know enough about other sectors or follow market-moving events closely enough to bet on sectors, otherwise.
Anonymous says
Do any of you have passive income as land owners? Like, farmland?
This is a whole new world to me but DH is about to inherit his “family land” which for the past 30 years has been leased out to a local farmer. The landowner (DH’s family) gets 1/3 of all the revenue. The land itself looks like it’s worth some money, but not millions, but this is land that has been in the family since 1750 so unless it becomes a money pit I doubt he will ever sell.
Just curious on any things to consider as the titles transfer over to DH from his parent. No siblings involved. Land will skip me and pass to our kids when DH dies, probably in a trust as there are 4 of them. We will update our estate plan accordingly. We are not in an area where farmland is a thing. Should we use local-to-the-land council?
Test says
My dad’s family has a bunch of mineral rights, which is not quite the same. but FWIW, Based on what happened when my grandmother died and they were divvied up among my dad and his siblings, my understanding is that any estate planner should be able to handle this unless it’s a really niche situation like native lands.
Anonymous says
Sorry, meant to post this on the main site!
Anon says
I do and I hate it. Inherited the land with siblings, I wanted to sell but they did not. So I oversaw all the legal paperwork to set up an entity to hold the land and do all the management (which isn’t much, but is enough to be annoying). The money it produces is so not worth it. I would much rather stick the money in an index fund and not have to worry at all about management, especially as siblings are not getting along because of political differences.
I would consider putting the land in an entity to protect from liabilities that might accrue if you and DH have your own significant assets. You would need to talk to a lawyer about what entity would he appropriate, but it would also give you a chance to keep the land in the family by setting up mechanisms so that, for example, your kids have to offer their share to their siblings first if they want out.
Walnut says
You’ll want to coordinate your council with DH’s parent’s council. I suggest engaging a local to the land accountant with expertise as well. Estate planning around inherited land can be real touchy and emotional attachment is real. Thank your lucky freaking stars that your husband is an only child and his parents are not actively farming the land.
Anonymous says
Totally agree that we are lucky he is the only. His grandfather personally farmed it until 1995 so there has been time to. I’ve on from that. They’ve already sold the “city house” in the farm town as well which was an emotional nightmare that we were spared. All that remains is for us to figure out what we want to do with it from the other side of the country.
It historically throws off something like $25k/year in net profits give or take 100%.
Walnut says
You may consider switching over to straight cash rent versus a profit sharing model. There are definitely pros/cons, but the simplicity for you and the farmer are huge pros.
Aunt Jamesina says
I would hammer out the details of the trust for your kids. My MIL is dealing with this (with the additional complication of the land being in Europe) with her elderly mother and her six siblings and it’s getting ugly since nobody can agree on what to do with it and the farmhouse that isn’t worth all that much on its own. I kinda see now why land used to always be passed on to the eldest, hah.
An.On. says
I thought I would kill on this question, since a lot of my clients have farmland, but I realized you’re not in the US. I would only say be thoughtful when making decisions about the trust for your kids. Farmland generates less income than other investments, so it can be tempting for people who don’t have a personal attachment to the property to sell it so they can get a better rate of return with another type of investment, and it can create schisms in families. I’m advising right now on a situation where everyone EXCEPT the sibling who has the decision making power wants to sell the farm. Talk this over with a planner who has some experience with farmland (preferably) or family businesses.
Anon Lawyer says
Minor vent – the firm I left at the end of the year (small to midsize, I was a partner) STILL hasn’t gotten our K-1s out. It’s March 23 and I’ve already blown my appointment with my tax guy. This is insane, right? I expect to get them right around mid-March but at that point you really can’t just take an extra week.
Anonymous says
Taby road trip tips? My oldest has been going on 3+ hour road trips since he was 3 months old. My twins are 13 months now and we have several trips planned, but our 4 hour road trip last week was a disaster. They both cried for at least two solid hours. I left during nap time, made sure they had plenty for breakfast, and they had clean diapers. We want to drive to Colorado this summer (stay for a week or two) but the way last week went has me rethinking it. It won’t hurt my feelings if y’all say a multi day road trip with a 5, 1 and 1 is a dumb idea.
Anonymous says
Yeh that’s a hard hope for my kids. Mine are old enough for screens (5 and 2.5) and our 5hr trip to the beach last summer really stretched it.
Anonymous says
You have to practice with short trips. My kid was a champion road-tripper, but I always assumed it was because she’d been commuting an hour each way with me since she started day care and taking frequent weekend trips of 2-3 hours.
Anon says
I think this is just your child’s personality. I don’t really think road tripping is a skill that can be taught to 1 year olds.
Anon says
I think some kids are just really bad in the car at that age. Road trips didn’t work for us between the ages of 6 months and ~18 months (and remained fairly hard until 2.5 or so). Once my kid was crawling she hated being confined in a car seat in the car and when she was that age she would cry non-stop. We did a four hour road trip at about 9 months where she cried for all four hours, with nothing obviously wrong. It didn’t get better until she was old enough to be entertained by books (and by “entertained by books” I mean she had a stack of about 50 books and would look at each of them for 1 minute before throwing them on the floor; stop and repeat every hour). Things got a lot easier when screens would hold her attention indefinitely, which happened around 2.5. Weirdly, she was always ok in the car seat on a plane, I think maybe because there’s more to look at in a plane?
Anonymous says
+1 to all this. Give it a couple of years.
Anon says
so we drove what should have been a 5.5 hour road trip with our twins a week after their first birthday and it took us 7 hours instead. they were honestly pretty good for the first 5-6 hours, but were done with the car by the last hour or so. this is such a know your kids situation. some kids do great in the car, others not so much. just like some kids are easy to transfer if they fall asleep in the car, while for others its like they’ve taken a nap and are ready to party.
Anon says
All of these responses are making me feel so glad that we opted out of an 11 hour roadtrip with a 14 month old (and a dog and a cat) to get to my parents house for Christmas.
My SIL still can’t understand why we didn’t go and may never forgive me, but oh well.
Anon says
I’m assuming your SIL is childless.
Anon says
Nope! They have two children – 13 and 12. She just has Opinions and no one else’s are right.
SC says
I think a multi-day road trip with 2 one-year-olds would be exhausting. At that age, they have big feelings, small stomachs and bladders, short attention spans, and little interest in screens. If you need to make this a multi-day road trip for reasons, there are certainly strategies to make it better, but if you can fly or wait a year, I would.
My son is great in the car, but that started around 2 years old. And it’s an aspect of his personality–our daycare was less than 5 minutes away, so he wasn’t used to driving when we took our first long (8 hour) road trip when he was 2.
Spirograph says
This. If the payoff of getting to spend a couple weeks in CO is worth it to you, maybe just brace yourself to grin and bear it, but I don’t see a scenario where a multi-day road trip with one year old twins is anything but tedious. We drive ~7 hours for Thanksgiving each year, and 12-30 months was just a bad time for car rides for each of my kids.
Anon says
I would do it. I have a 6, 4, and 1 and they have taken 2- to 4-hour trips at least once a month to visit family all their lives. They get used to it…the youngest was by far the worst but even he’s gotten better lately. And these are very active and energetic boys. We have never done screens in the car, so they’ve learned to be okay with that and amuse themselves by looking out the window.
Lean into music – I got my older ones MP3 players and the baby seems to stay quiet when dumb kid songs are playing. Also, plan for stops every 2-3 hours the whole way. If you have the mindset that the journey will be slow and part of the “experience” you’ll probably be able to handle it better.
Anonymous says
Rest stop playgrounds are super exciting.
Anonymous says
2-4 hours is so different from a multi day trip! We did 13h each way with 5, 3, and 1 year old last summer and it was tough but worth it for a week long trip, but doing it again the next day? Ehhhhh
Anon says
Yeah, 2-4 hours is SO different than driving all day or especially a multi-day trip. We’ve done ~12 hour roundtrips (in one day) when my daughter was 2 and 3, and I also felt like it was tough but worth it for a week at the beach in a pandemic when we weren’t comfortable flying. But to drive all day and then wake up the next morning and drive again seems….really really hard to me.
Anon says
Yes, it is different, I was mostly mentioning it as evidence that kids *can* get used to riding in cars and it sounds like they have some practice trips coming up. We’ve also done 6-7+ hours, and back to back days of drives. I’m sure it won’t exactly be pleasant, but I do think it’s doable if the payoff of the vacation is worth it to them!
Anon says
In the last couple months my tall 4 year old has really taken to her Micro Mini scooter, but she’s saying the handles are too low. Is it time to get the Micro Maxi (which is the weirdest oxymoron name, imo…)? She is not super coordinated or athletic (see: not riding a scooter until almost 4) but it does seem like she needs the handles higher.
Cb says
Yup, we upgraded my son at Christmas and it isn’t a significant size difference but the handles go much higher. We went with the three wheeler but he has a two wheeler at my parents house and mastered it in a couple of hours.
And congratulations! I found mastering the scooter lifechanging, it really extends our range. The 3 mile round trip into town for nursery/library etc is no problem now.
Anon says
Yes! It’s so nice to be able to take longer walks now.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, the Maxi will allow the handles to go higher, and it’s adjustable so should hopefully last longer! I think they say the handles should be a little above the belly button when riding.
Mary Moo Cow says
We got my daughter the Maxi around age 6 and she loves it. She’s slightly above average height and we haven’t had to move the handles up for a year of use.
CCLA says
We just upgraded my 3.5 yo (she’s 3’4″ so a little tall but not by too much) to the maxi and it fits her well. I think they say arms should be around a 90 degree angle – she probably could have gone on longer with the micro but we like the folding feature you can get with the maxi so upgraded as soon as she would fit.
Anon says
Anyone have issues with the transition from formula to whole milk? DS started rejected formula bottles at 11 months. We started adding whole milk and did the transition over about 3 days. Quickly, DS started having a cough. He threw up in his sleep twice (which had never happened before). We went back to doing bottles of 25% whole milk, and everything went back to normal. Did that for a week, then moved to 50% whole milk. Did that for a week, then moved to 75% whole milk. DS threw up immediately after his first big bottle of 75% whole milk. (He also had just had a large dinner, so we’re not sure of the cause, but given the history, think it’s the milk.) DS is now a year… and we are still at 50% whole milk and hesitant to do more. I am going to the ped tomorrow for his annual, but wanted to know if anyone has had similar experiences or has suggestions.
jz says
Not exactly the same but milk made my son really constipated. We dropped formula around 11 months (was down to like 8 oz over a day from 10 months on) and never gave him milk. He is a good eater and eats cheese and yogurt. He’s 70% for weight and height. Ped has no concerns about him skipping milk. You can also try goat milk which is expensive or plant milks but I don’t think it’s worth the effort tbh.
anotheranon says
How many ounces are you doing total?
OP says
It is probably 15-20 oz at this point. We typically offer a sippy cup at breakfast, morning snack, lunch, and bedtime. He normally has 2-3 oz at breakfast, 5 oz at the morning snack, 2-3 oz at lunch, and 6-9 oz at bedtime. He eats really well and is eating three full meals and two snacks. The vomiting always, unsurprisingly, comes after the bigger, bedtime bottle.
Anonymous says
6-9 oz of liquid plus dinner could be a lot of volume!
Anon says
Anyone have issues with the transition from formula to whole milk? DS started rejected formula bottles at 11 months. We started adding whole milk and did the transition over about 3 days. Quickly, DS started having a cough. He threw up in his sleep twice (which had never happened before). We went back to doing bottles of 25% whole milk, and everything went back to normal. Did that for a week, then moved to 50% whole milk. Did that for a week, then moved to 75% whole milk. DS threw up immediately after his first big bottle of 75% whole milk. (He also had just had a large dinner, so we’re not sure of the cause, but given the history, think it’s the milk.) DS is now a year… and we are still at 50% whole milk and hesitant to do more. I am going to the ped tomorrow for his annual, but wanted to know if anyone has had similar experiences or has suggestions.
Sour Milk says
Don’t put milk in a bottle. When you’re weaning, the whole point is to move off of bottles. Put milk in a cup.
As to your actual question, I would discuss this with your child’s pediatrician.