This hair tie from Banana Republic is an inexpensive and quick way to put a little more polish on a ponytail or bun. With the recent stretch of humidity (i.e., all of August), it is pointless to do my hair. I’m currently trying to grow it out, and having all that hair on my neck makes me feel at least 10 degrees warmer. I think I’d rather roll into work with tied-back hair than be a sweaty, frizzy mess. With this hair tie, it makes the ponytail seems more intentional, and like I’m wearing an extra accessory. For $12.50, it’s less expensive than a necklace or pair of earrings, and I’d probably wear it more frequently. Metal Chain Hair Tie
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 8:51 amIs there any reason to not put stepson on my health insurance? The current situation is that stepson has health insurance through his mom’s plan, however she has asked if DH can put him on our plan, mainly due to how much it costs her. I currently have a family plan through my employer (myself, DH and DD are covered) so there really would be no increase in premium or deductible amount since we are already at the family plan level. Our plan through my company allows stepchildren to be included as dependents. There is no court ordered custody agreement (they were never married) so nothing to worry about in terms of whether he is meeting any mandated parental requirements and DH pays an agreed upon amount of child support each month and they figure the rest out as they go along.
I don’t have a problem with adding him, but I’m wondering if there are any negative legal or financial implications I am not thinking about? Thanks!
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 9:21 amI can’t believe you don’t have a custody agreement. The big financial issue is you’ve now made his health insurance your expense. What happens if you lose your job or change to a job where it’s more expensive? This is really irresponsible
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 9:24 amThis is kind of harshly worded but I agree I’d be hesitant to do this because then it will probably always be your responsibility. Can you consult a lawyer and see if there’s a way to do it now without setting a precedent that you guys will always pay this?
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 10:48 amEven if it is something Dad always pays, is that such a bad thing? In the event dad’s relationship with bio-mom deteriorates and they can’t agree on what is fair financially for each to contribute, wouldn’t the payment for health insurance just be used as one of the expenses in Dad’s column that would offset other expected financial contributions? I think it’s nice that bio-mom and Dad are cooperating and if it really doesn’t cost Dad and step-mom anything more to carry stepson, I don’t think it should be an issue.
OP says
09/06/2018 at 11:34 amI appreciate your perspective on this and your input has definitely given me some pause. As it currently stands, it wouldn’t increase the amount of our premiums since we already have one child on the policy and adding another child does not change the price. We could go on DH’s plan through his company if I lost / changed jobs, currently we are all on mine since premiums are cheaper through my employer.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 9:43 amFor us, going from 1 kid to >1 kid on our plan had no additional cost (kid or stepkid made no difference). So it was basically found $ in the budget.
AIMS says
09/06/2018 at 9:45 amI think if you’re concerned about always making it your responsibility, that’s easy enough to limit by a basic agreement signed by mom and husband. To the extent you’re worried about other potential liabilities, I imagine that if your insurance you may be liable for anything not covered. So co-pays, hospital stays, deductibles, etc. That may never become an issue but it’s something to think about. You can agree to split that 50/50 between the parents as part of the same agreement, I’d think, but what happens if she doesn’t pay for some reason. It’s still your responsibility as the main insured (I believe, but obviously check). That said, I might still do it if I were you. It’s just something to consider.
OP says
09/06/2018 at 11:34 amThank you for this, I will definitely talk to DH about this.
KateMiddletown says
09/06/2018 at 9:57 amWe carry my stepdaughters on mine, and the only implication I can think of is that I now get EOBs on all of their claims, so that might be a privacy issue.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 11:10 amMy daughter is on my husband’s insurance plan, and even though we are both her biological parents and are married to each other I have had a lot of issues with health care providers that don’t want to list me as the guarantor because his name is on the insurance policy. One medical office repeatedly refused to speak with me to schedule appointments and would not accept payments from me over the phone because I was not the insurance policyholder, even though I was the child’s biological parent, was married to the policyholder, and had signed the HIPAA form authorizing myself to receive information (even though under HIPAA I shouldn’t have had to do that because I was the parent and personal representative of a minor child).
I can’t even imagine how much more complicated it would be for your stepchild’s bio mom to have you be the policyholder. She would also need to know your SSN–every medical care provider we use requires the policyholder’s SSN and not just the policy number. Providers would probably also come after you for deductibles and copayments, even if the bio mother lists herself as the responsible party.
OP says
09/06/2018 at 11:35 amI hadn’t thought of these complications and this is definitely the feedback I was looking for in terms of what am I not thinking about. Thanks!
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 12:23 pmThis strikes me as very unusual. My daughter is on my policy and my husband has spoken to doctors about her and taken her to doctor’s appointments without me. He has needed to provide our daughter’s SSN but never mine. There’s never been any issue. Insurance is usually quite separate from medical care and scheduling – we get bills directly from the hospital network’s billing system. Our doctor’s office never discusses insurance or payment with us, and we call a central scheduler to schedule appointments and they never ask us any questions about the insurance.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 12:53 pm+1
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 1:05 pmOh and adding that I pay all the bills online (with an HSA card) and I’m pretty sure either parent could do this. It doesn’t request any insurance information and I frequently use my husband’s HSA account since it has more money in it than mine. We also receive a paper bill mailed to our house and we could simply fill in the card number and mail it back (I normally do it online because it’s easier and doesn’t require a stamp, but certainly my husband could fill out the paper bill).
11:10 anon says
09/06/2018 at 1:34 pmAll the issues I’ve had have been with one particular health system. When you call they ask for your name in addition to the child’s name, and they will not talk to anyone but the guarantor about appointments or payment. Their on-line payment system was down for weeks at one point, and they will not accept flex spend cards by mail. I had to call their ombudsman’s office to get them to list me as the guarantor. The third-party payment processing company and the doctor’s business office would not talk to me because “the policyholder has to be the guarantor.” YMMV.
reply to 11:10 says
09/06/2018 at 1:48 pmGah, I hear you about certain practices being difficult about this. I am the policyholder/guarantor and listed as an authorized representative for my husband in his medical records for this provider. I had a billing office try to argue me down that they couldn’t speak with me despite all of this until my husband called them again and authorized it. (I’m a healthcare atty, I wanted to offer to give them a HIPAA refresher course or at least send them the FAQ that was directly on point)
Anon says
09/06/2018 at 9:23 amI’m having trouble figuring out how to phrase something. I think in an environment where creating a sense of inclusion is valued, food plays a role. Not offering food that is desired or needed by the population(s) in a community can erode that sense of inclusion. Is that a fair, sensible thought? I can’t be more specific without outing myself, but I am trying to form an argument. Thank you, smart internet friends!
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 9:30 amIf you’re talking about Kosher or Halal, yes. Other people should be able to find something they can eat at pretty much any meal.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 9:46 amBeing able to find something to eat is a different goal than genuine inclusiveness and I think there’s an argument to be made in some circumstances to try a bit harder.
OP says
09/06/2018 at 9:48 amGood perspective. Do you feel like “other people” have more of a choice, such as those who choose to eat a certain way because of health or personal reasons, and therefore they should be able to find something to eat?
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 9:52 amNot true for vegans, and as a vegetarian it can be challenging sometimes. People who can’t eat gluten are also sometimes SOL depending on the cuisine.
Cb says
09/06/2018 at 9:34 amYes! I get that. I was at a conference wine reception and they had fancy interesting soft drinks and it was really noted by people who didn’t / couldn’t drink, whether for health, personal, or religious reasons. So many of our events revolve around food and drink and it can feel awkward or embarrassing when when you can’t partake.
OP says
09/06/2018 at 9:49 amI’m coming to your conference, please.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 9:50 amFwiw, I’m a non-drinker and I’ve been to probably hundreds of receptions with wine and it’s just no big deal for me. Having fancy sodas for non-drinkers would actually call attention to me, because I guarantee you people would becoming up to me all night and saying “Did you see they have those fancy sodas? That must be for you!” I’d much rather just sip my water in peace.
If you have a lot of non-drinkers in the group it might be less of an issue, but when the minority is a very small number of people, having special accommodations for them will call attention to them and the fact that they’re different.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 9:53 amI have a post in mod for some reason, but I’m one of the only non-drinkers at my company and I feel like something like this would really call attention to me, because people would be coming up to me all night to tell me about the non-alcoholic drinks. I’d much rather just drink water and not have to have 20 conversations about it. If the group is 10% or more non-drinkers then this is probably less of an issue. But if it’s just a handful of people who are different, something like this can really call attention to them.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 9:45 amOf course? But honestly how would actually explaining this anonymously out you?
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 9:47 amWe have our work retreat at a Marriott and it labels all of the food with “gluten free” “contains dairy” or with other labels. I think they also bring in completely Kosher meals from a vendor for people who require that. But if you just don’t eat pork / meat / dairy / wheat then you are able to help yourself to many other options.
It has worked well for our group (which includes people who are from both faiths that forbid pork).
OP says
09/06/2018 at 9:51 amInteresting! Are there options for vegans in your group, so no meat or dairy, that provide some kind of protein or balanced, healthy meal beyond pasta and iceberg lettuce?
anne-on says
09/06/2018 at 9:56 amI work in a big corporation and am finding that 90% of the time vegetarian option is vegan. We’re also seeing A LOT of ‘bowls’ or composed salads – so vegan grain or bean or salad greens with all the add ons in separate bowls (cheese/meat/other fruits and veggies/nuts/etc.). I think the biggest issue is cross-contamination via serving utensils and that is mostly due to people serving themselves, not the caterers. I’ve started asking our caterers to have to vegans/allergy/dietary restricted people to go first so they have first shot at a ‘clean’ buffet. This is obviously easier at a seated meal, but those are getting rarer.
rosie says
09/06/2018 at 9:53 amYes, absolutely. Not totally sure what you are talking about specifically, so trying to string together some thoughts. I think food choices can be a way of othering populations. Saying that a certain type of food is “ethnic” or “exotic” when it is simply how another person eats can be problematic. Like, the standard is a certain thing, and anything that is not within those guidelines is inferior. The standard of what fancy cuisine is (maybe classic French food) versus what is never treated as “elevated” cuisine. When non-POC chefs “discover” other cuisines. Etc. Any of that getting close to what you are thinking?
OP says
09/06/2018 at 10:03 amThis is wonderful! Thank you. This gives me some great terminology to use. I am vegan and the offerings are not there at the work related functions I attend. The vegetarian option, if there is one, is usually not vegan or easily adaptable to vegan. I am sick of going to certain functions and then not having anything to eat. I stayed super general because I also don’t want to make this a “me” or a “vegan” thing… I think it’d indicative of a larger issue.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 10:05 amare you in a position to contact the administrative person who is responsible for ordering food, and ask them to set aside something for you?
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 10:08 amWell, when you talk about inclusiveness I think of things like “we serve an immigrant population but always order baked chicken.” I think you’re trying to make this some big grandiose thing instead of just putting your big girl undies on and requesting a vegan meal. If no one does, how are they supposed to know it’s an issue? What, they just order every possible option in case there’s a gluten feee vegan coming?
OP says
09/06/2018 at 10:11 amAgreed, I am fine with requesting a vegan meal and I can see exactly how that came off from my post above, which is why I wanted to flush this out on the internet and not just in real life.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 10:11 amAgree with this. Perfectly reasonable to request a vegan meal for yourself. Not reasonable to make it a big issue about “inclusiveness.” Vegans aren’t an underrepresented minority.
lawsuited says
09/06/2018 at 10:46 amAgree that is a reasonable enough to say “I’m an employee and I eat vegan food. I’d like there to be a vegan food option at employee functions.” You don’t need to make this a larger issue about diversity and food activism. Those encompass a LOT of different populations and food issues that would take months or years for you and your employer to understand, and you run the risk of being severely misunderstood if you frame it that way when your ask is actually for a vegan meal.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 10:09 amThis is a you issue and a vegan issue.
anne-on says
09/06/2018 at 10:20 am+1 – I have literally never been at an event where I wasn’t asked while registering if I had any dietary needs/restrictions. Where you not asked by the organizers? And if so, why not just contact them and let them know of your needs and to order a vegan meal or let you know if you need to be prepared to bring your own food (annoying, and I’d mention it to the organization directors, but at least you’re prepared).
Pogo says
09/06/2018 at 11:16 amI will say, to anne-on’s specific point, I ALWAYS put that I am vegetarian and allergic to nuts. About 50% of the time there is an actual vegetarian entrée, and only about 25% of the time is that vegetarian option nut-free. I have very little faith that those “dietary needs/restrictions” comment fields on registrations actually go to a real human who reads them and takes action.
To me it’s less about “inclusiveness” and more about making your employees feel like you actually listen to them.
rosie says
09/06/2018 at 10:16 amI am glad you find it helpful, but I thought you were talking about a different kind of inclusiveness so was more aimed at that.
That said, I do think it’s reasonable to request a vegan meal and that it can be disappointing when time after time, relatively common dietary preferences are not taken into account. I was recently doing on-campus interviewing (as an interviewer). The provided lunch was cold cuts. I am vegetarian (so at least I could have a sandwich with cheese?). But it wasn’t exactly a good feeling to be spending a day interviewing this school’s students & have the school-provided lunch be not particularly veg-friendly (especially when I agreed to squeeze in more interviews during the lunch break so didn’t really have time to go out to buy my own lunch).
OP says
09/06/2018 at 10:18 amYou got it. This isn’t actually meal specific. If you’re in a situation like you describe, or in say a large office building with a cafeteria that only offers baked chicken and cheese ravioli, it’s a little challenging. I’m in a position to influence that, hence the vague language.
OP says
09/06/2018 at 10:19 amI can’t be the only person in a community of thousands frustrated when I can’t buy a vegan meal for myself.
rosie says
09/06/2018 at 10:22 amIf you are in a position to influence things, do it! If you are dealing with an office cafeteria, I think the ideal would be a separate food area with vegan offerings. That way the people that wanted that food wouldn’t be in the line for the other foods, and that should help avoid cross-contamination issues. I think a lot of people see vegan food as healthier, too, so you might be able to double-sell it as a vegetable-based/health-conscious bar.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 10:24 amNo, but you may be the only one who frames it as an “inclusiveness” issue.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 10:29 amWhat are you talking about? Why don’t you just come out and say it?
Legally Brunette says
09/06/2018 at 10:30 amI’m vegetarian and will always email the admin ahead of time to request that there is something vegetarian for me (in the event they don’t ask beforehand). I never assume there is something that I can eat, so I always ask beforehand. And if you come to an event and there is nothing for you, you need to pull someone aside who is organizing and let them know you need food. I’ve done this several times and never felt weird about it. If anything, the organizers are incredibly apologetic and make sure it never happens again. Particularly in your case, as a vegan. I think there is a much greater understanding about providing vegetarian meals but I’m not sure this always extends to vegan.
JTX says
09/06/2018 at 10:33 amOP – After reading some of your responses, it seems the issue is you are vegan and feel like you are not included at your employer’s events because there isn’t anything for you to eat. I don’t know how this could “out” you – tons of vegan and vegetarian people have this exact issue. I am vegetarian and have celiac and will warn you to tread lightly depending on your office culture and how discreetly you can request special treatment. If there is an office admin who can order you a separate meal, great! If you have to involve non-staff, be more wary.
I agree with others that this isn’t about inclusiveness, unless your diet is the result of your religious beliefs or ethnic background. I understand it sucks to feel left out (my prior firm, where I worked for seven years, frequently ordered barbecue for holiday lunches and I couldn’t eat a single thing other than pickle slices). But there really is a big difference between a dietary choice mandated by your religion or ethnicity and one you’ve chosen for ethical or health reasons. Or at least it is perceived that way by the vast majority of Americans. At work, it may be best to avoid talking about your veganism. Even to people who ask about it. People used to frequently roll their eyes at the vegan female attorney at my old firm whenever she even mentioned being vegan, even if she was responding to a question! It is ridiculous but true that many Americans find vegans and vegetarians annoying for no good reason. You aren’t going to help anything if you start talking about “inclusiveness.”
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 10:55 amAgree 100%. Halal because of religion or gluten free because of Celiac are very different than vegan or vegetarian because of choice. You can’t expect the same level of accommodation as someone who has religious beliefs or health issues that prevent them from eating certain foods. I’m a vegetarian fwiw.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 11:21 amwhy is someone else’s religious belief more important than my ethical beliefs?
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 11:23 amCome on, is this a serious question? We have a first amendment that protects freedom of religion, which includes dietary restrictions mandated by the religion. We don’t have a first amendment that protects freedom to not want to eat animals.
Sarabeth says
09/06/2018 at 11:48 amJust to be clear, there are are religions that have vegetarianism as a religious obligation, so these aren’t mutually exclusive.
Overall, I agree that ethical beliefs should get the same deference, even though they don’t have the same constitutional protections.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 12:51 pmYes it’s a serious question. I’m not talking about constitutional issues, I’m talking about why someone’s religious beliefs deserves more consideration from co-workers than my sincerely held ethical beliefs.
Pogo says
09/06/2018 at 11:18 amlol at the pickle slices. SAME.
OP says
09/06/2018 at 11:07 amI appreciate all the responses. Just for clarification, the issue isn’t event specific. I agree that vegan/vegetarians get a bad reputation, which is why I am fine with providing my own food, eating before or after an event, etc. I do not request anything special unless I am asked, and even then, I understand the eye-rolling. I don’t expect anyone to accommodate me. I don’t talk about my diet. I don’t want to talk about my diet. Hence, why I have a stash of protein bars in my office. I’m being asked to provide feedback on the food options that are offered to a whole community (think office building, college campus, etc.) and I am assuming that if my experience is any indication, there may be a broader issue at hand. I agree that combining inclusive and vegan sounds… bad.
This discussion was helpful in framing my thoughts.
Thanks, All!
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 11:49 amIf you are talking about college cafeterias, they should already know that offering vegan meals is a marketing plus for admissions.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 11:59 amI think this really depends on the college. At my red state public university, I’m pretty sure advertising that they cater to vegans would be a marketing minus not a plus. Our dining halls and campus cafes certainly offer salads that are naturally vegan as I would imagine almost all universities do, but I’ve never seen vegan versions of foods that are normally non-vegan or anything labeled as “vegan option.”
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 12:52 pmHow sad for “red states” that they are so narrow minded that it would be a “marketing minus” to advertise MORE dietary options.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 1:09 pmI dont think it’s so much that they think having more options is bad, but that they hear that the dining hall food is “vegan-friendly” and they freak that their kids won’t be able to get steak and hamburgers. That’s probably inaccurate, but I think a lot of people believe that alternative options (including vegan) would be offered at the expense of regular food. I sort of get it, and I’m a pescatarian.
GCA says
09/06/2018 at 1:18 pmIt’s all in the spin – in that context you would market it as ‘greater freedom of choice’.
/removes tongue partway from cheek
AIMS says
09/06/2018 at 9:50 amMy 2.5 year old has a nursery school “interview” coming up. Its basically a part time program a few hours a week and I can’t imagine that they expect much, if anything, from us. However, I still feel like I should do something to prepare her, if for nothing else than the fact that we’re going somewhere new and she may be asked to play with other kids while not holding on to mommy for dear life. She’s a pretty good kid, but has been home up till now so not terribly social with other children until she has a chance to defrost, which won’t be possible in such a brief setting. Any tips? Thanks!
ElisaR says
09/06/2018 at 11:22 amI don’t think you need to prep her at all. Sounds like a formality really. I know my 2.5 year old never does what I want him to when I want him to….. I can’t imagine prepping him would help much. No need to put the pressure on her or you. They probably just want to get a feel for both you and your daughter.
avocado says
09/06/2018 at 11:24 amIf you are really worried, you could take her to a few places where she will have the opportunity to interact with other kids close to her own age–the community pool, the sandbox at the botanical garden, the splash pad, the play area at the mall, the park, a library function, etc. My kid always ends up interacting with other kids to some degree in these types of settings.
In terms of preparation, just let her know a day or so ahead of time that “we are going to visit a school and you will have the chance to play with other kids.” Don’t let on that there is anything at stake.
I think you are in an area where preschool admission is competitive, yes? We did not have competitive preschool admissions, but the preschool where my kid spent one year required a visit before enrollment. During that visit, we got a tour of the facility and the classroom, and then she was invited to stay in the classroom and participate in a class activity while I went into the office to meet with the director. The teacher was very welcoming and helped get my daughter involved in the activity.
If the program you are visiting is a part-time preschool where most kids have previously been at home, they will be very familiar with kids who aren’t used to a group setting and should have some strategies for getting them involved during the visit. If I were you, I’d be open to leaving the room during her visit if permitted. She may be more likely to cling while you are in the room, and your absence may free her up to get involved in group play.
Ella says
09/06/2018 at 11:37 amIn NYC I think these interviews are usually more to assess the parents than the kid — just be friendly and nice and don’t seem super high maintenance.
Anon in NYC says
09/06/2018 at 11:42 amI tend to agree. These places will understand that kids can be shy. Just be your normal, friendly self.
If anything, maybe talk to her about going to visit a new school, and how they must have a lot of new and fun toys. That always gets my kid excited.
AIMS says
09/06/2018 at 11:58 amThanks all! Good point about it being more about us – we were told both parents have to attend. We may also need to have baby in tow, but oh well… I think I will just say we’re going to a school and it will be a fun thing and let it be what it is. If this doesn’t work, so be it, not the right fit (can you tell I have a lot of nerves about my “baby” going to school??)
Anon in NYC says
09/06/2018 at 12:48 pmDon’t worry! It’ll be fine! And yes – if the school can’t roll with a shy kid, it’s definitely not the right fit!
Two Cents says
09/06/2018 at 12:48 pmHonestly, the best thing you can do is make sure she goes to bed early/on time the previous night and has some breakfast in the morning so that she’s not cranky. You can tell her you’re going to a new place with some new toys to play with but no need to say much beyond that.
We did a similar visit when my son was 4. I think he stuck to himself during his “interview” and didn’t play with the other kids and I suspect that’s quite normal, even though he’s a very extroverted kid. I think the bar for kids is set pretty low. I think the only things that matter are if your child started slapping another child or acting really uncontrollable, which won’t happen in your case. :) Good luck.
AIMS says
09/06/2018 at 5:36 pmThanks guys!
NYCer says
09/07/2018 at 9:19 amSorry for the late response, but are you sure that she will actually have to interact with other kids? I know that at some, probably not all, preschool “interviews” (UGH, I hate that there are interviews for 2 year olds), the kids just have to play with one of the teachers.
Still can be daunting for a little girl to have to interact with a new adult stranger though!!
Banana Republic Factory says
09/06/2018 at 10:30 amPSA: Banana Republic Factory has tons of great short-sleeved shirts for wearing under suits right now. And pretty much everything is 40-60% off. I picked up 3 shirts yesterday. I was also really impressed with the look of some of their new suiting options, but I was in a hurry and don’t *need* any, so didn’t try them on. I’m considering ordering some stuff to try it out. I had previously sworn off Banana Republic Factory because their materials used to be so unflattering and cheap. What I bought is still $25 quality, but at the same time definitely a step up from what they used to sell.
Redux says
09/06/2018 at 10:36 amDoes anyone have a baby gate that works at the top of a curved banister? We are moving into an old house with a steep staircase and curved railings that do not have squared-off posts. Something like the link below. Does anyone have any tips on how to install a baby gate? There is no wall opposite. The banister kits all seem to require a square side to attach to and I am at a loss for ideas.
Redux says
09/06/2018 at 10:37 amhttps://www.pinterest.ch/pin/167829523589844250/
Anon says
09/06/2018 at 10:47 amWhen I lived at a place with a spiral staircase and had lots of little ones coming for visits we rigged up an option that worked by using the gates used to block kids from fire places or Christmas trees. Since they are so wide we were able to find a piece of wall to attach it to.
Also not 100% probably to code but at the top we used zip ties to attach a piece of wood that we could then drill into to put a gate across.
Anon says
09/06/2018 at 10:49 amSorry thats not super clear – the top of this staircase had a round metal banister on one side so hard to attach anything to. So we zipped tied a piece of wood to that banister to create a surface that we could then drill into.
anne-on says
09/06/2018 at 11:00 amWe have a very old house with no straight walls anywhere. We hired a local handyman who installed thick shims against the walls to ‘level’ the walls and that were thick enough for us (ha, him, but hey we bought the gates!) to drill into to install the gates. I would imagine gluing or drilling shims into the top/bottom of the banister would work. Is it pretty? Nope, but it is effective.
Redux says
09/06/2018 at 11:18 amThis is what I was able to suss out online, too, but I just can’t figure out what we would even attach the shim/wood to since each baulistrade is so narrow and curved. I suppose we could connect TWO baulistrades with a piece of wood across? If you have pictures of how you did this, please share!
I HeartBacon says
09/06/2018 at 1:52 pmI second the zip tie recommendation. I would use a lot of them, like 12 (or even more) on one piece of wood to make sure there are enough to support a toddler’s weight if the toddler pushes on the gate.
Anon says
09/07/2018 at 12:28 amIf you’re still reading:
https://www.amazon.com/Hole-Stairway-Mounting-Safety-Innovations/dp/B004CEN62O/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1536294425&sr=8-3&keywords=banister+baby+gate&dpID=518Uv5kdWTL&preST=_SY300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch
We have one tied to a ballistrade (but ours are metal) and it works great. I see no reason you can’t tie to two.
anon says
09/06/2018 at 1:38 pmI was a nanny in a house that had this problem. Instead of blocking the stairs, they closed up the hallway with two baby gates before and after the stairs that went from wall to wall where there was a place for them. Before the kid was really walking they just used one to block off the kid’s bedroom so it had free access in the nursery to walk around but no where else upstairs.
anne-on says
09/06/2018 at 10:39 amI finally caved and began using some airpods earlier this summer after dismissing them as ‘too expensive’ and ‘not necessary’, and OH MY GOODNESS, why did I not do this earlier? I was in awe of how useful they were this AM as I was trying to manage a 7am call with Asia and getting myself and kiddo out to school for drop off. I swear, this is probably up their with the mute button for best tool for working moms.
They don’t get caught in my hair, no cord for a kid to pull on, I can put my phone down on a flat surface and walk a few feet away to make breakfast/brush teeth/help with clothing/I don’t have a cord to avoid while prepping food/etc. etc. etc. Not having to be physically tethered to my phone is amazing – I realized also that literally all of my husbands clothes have pockets deep enough to stick a phone in – including his pjs! Mine do not, which is probably why I find the airpods so much more useful than he does ;)
Pogo says
09/06/2018 at 11:19 amStupid question – why are airpods any better/different than regular Bluetoot h headphones?
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 11:22 amThey’re not. I hate The Cult of Apple.
ElisaR says
09/06/2018 at 11:44 amconceptually, i hate the cult of apple.
but they keep making such darn good products and pairing them all together and saving my life to the icloud keeps me coming back. and apparently much of the world is on the same page — the stock keeps going up.
my husband hates it all. he’s in tech for work so i feel like he doesn’t need the ease of apple for tech-phobic people like me.
GCA says
09/06/2018 at 1:16 pmI have an Android phone, and basically use a Jabra bluetooth headset all the time for calls; I find it pretty easy to use. I hear the advantage of airpods, though, is you can also use them while working out – with Jabras you need a sports-specific model. (I’m picky about workout earphones.)
anne-on says
09/06/2018 at 11:31 amEase of pairing with my iphones basically and I like the charging case. And I also like the tap functionality and that they go from stereo to mono when you take one out. So, I can listen to a call with one in and still respond to kiddo questions and then pop the other one in and go back to stereo sound after. But if that doesn’t matter to you then there isn’t any reason to pay up.
CCLA says
09/06/2018 at 12:46 pmAnd for really long conference calls, you can take one pod out and charge it while the other remains in, extending the battery life. Big fan here, too.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 12:24 pmGood to know! I plan to get these for myself as my “new mom” present to myself after having my 1st in a few months. I figured they would be helpful as a hands free way to make calls/listen to podcasts etc with a new baby.
Anon says
09/06/2018 at 1:43 pmThis was going to be my gift to myself too! I figured it would be useful during late night nursing sessions!
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 2:29 pmWe were invited to a celebration for a new (adopted) baby. We need to bring a gift right? Is something small, like one outfit, ok? This is DH’s coworker and his wife and I don’t know them at all.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 2:39 pmI would ask DH to do some sleuthing at work to see how others were treating gifts at this celebration since it is for his co-worker. In the absence of other information, I think bringing a small gift like an outfit would be fine.
Spirograph says
09/06/2018 at 2:58 pmYes, you should bring a gift. I would choose a board book or two rather than an outfit. Babies grow SO quickly the first year, and people love to gift clothes. I donated or passed on a ton of barely-worn 0-6 month clothing and felt guilty about not getting use out of people’s gifts. Books last a lot longer.
For someone you don’t know, I’d go with a classic book like anything by Margaret Wise Brown. Goodnight Moon, Big Red Barn, Runaway Bunny, and Home for a Bunny have all been perennial hits with my kids
LH says
09/06/2018 at 3:40 pmAs a counterpoint, I’m not exaggerating when I say we received 3+ copies of each of Goodnight Moon, Runaway Bunny, I Love You Forever, Very Hungry Caterpillar, Giraffes Can’t Dance, On The Night You Were Born and a bunch of Sandra Boynton books. We even received more than one copy of some less well known books. It made me feel guilty, but I don’t abide clutter and they all went straight to the library donation pile. I will never give books as baby gifts for this reason, unless it’s one of those personalized books or something else that’s incredibly unique.
An outfit is way less likely to be an exact duplicate of something they have (especially if you avoid Carter’s/Target) and even if they do get an exact dupe, newborns frequently ruin clothes, so they’d have more use for two identical outfits than two identical books. My baby was given a lot of clothes, but we managed to put her in everything that was 6M+ at least a few times. I also liked that with clothes I could include a photo of the baby in the outfit with the thank you note, which people always loved and it made writing the note easier.
ElisaR says
09/06/2018 at 4:08 pmsoooooo many Giraffes Can’t Dance. maybe 4? Probably bc I’m a former ballet dancer….
Spirograph says
09/06/2018 at 4:12 pmWow! I think the only duplicate we have is the abridged board book version of Fox in Socks, and we have a gazillion books. We do have 4 Sophie the Giraffes, though.
I guess the moral of the story is, everyone buys the same generic baby gifts. :)
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 5:31 pmHeh, yeah DH and I are both from pretty nerdy families and his mom is one of nine (!) kids, so we had a lot of relatives that sent small gifts and books were what everyone defaulted to. We’re also a member of two free subscription services that send my kid a book every month, so there’s no shortage of books in our house.
rosie says
09/06/2018 at 3:19 pmI’d bring a few Sandra Boynton board books and maybe a small rattle or teether. This is exciting for them, help them celebrate.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 4:06 pmIs this a first baby? My go-to gift for first time parents is a basket of things I used a bunch in the first year…a rectal thermometer (forehead ones are crap), a rubber ducky that reads the temperature of bath water (not necessary I know, but we love ours), sleeveless body suits (in a winter climate, these worked better for layering for us than the short sleeve ones that would bunch up), and baby washcloths. Sometimes, I’ll throw in a cute zip-up PJ and/or book.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 5:32 pmThis is my gift too for things that are consumable and useful. Cali Baby calming bath wash, boogie wipes, those vapor plug-ins, MAM paci, babygap socks. etc.
Anonymous says
09/06/2018 at 4:11 pmMy go-to gift in these situations is one particular, rather unusual picture book that our family loved. It is somewhat personal but not overly so, and unlikely to be a duplicate.
Anon says
09/06/2018 at 4:55 pmYep I give the most annoying book my kids love at that moment (for a long time it was “Pout Pout Fish”, then it became “Dragons Love Tacos”, now it’s “Ten Apples Up on Top” because there’s a crash at the end) and write in the card about how it’s the Anon Family’s favorite book and I hope [kid] loves it and [parents] hate it as much as we do.
I also give a footie pajama item in neutral colors in the 6-12 month range. Most people give 0-6 month clothes so I try to give a little farther out. Invariably I get a text 12 months later about how they were so excited to pull out the new pajamas, kiddo outgrew their other ones overnight, and they didn’t have any 12 month items yet…. etc.