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Anyone who has given birth to a baby knows what I am talking about here. I actually didn’t know you could buy these retail — I thought they were only a medical product and/or given out for free at the hospital. If I were to have another child, I would definitely buy a set of these for home. These are large enough to hold the giant pads you wear postpartum, plus an ice pack, if you’re so inclined. They also come up high enough as to not have the waistband rub against C-section stitches. They are pure form over function! They are $12.89 for a pack of 3 at Amazon, and you can also find them at medical supply websites. Mesh Postpartum Underwear
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Sales of note for 5.5.24
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- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase (ends 5/12); $50 off your $200+ purchase (ends 5/5)
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- J.Crew – Shirts & tees starting at $24.50; extra 30% off sale styles
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
FriedaMom sells a version of these, too.
Amy says
I was coming here to say this, I got that delivery pack Frieda sells and while I didn’t end up having to push so I didn’t need the icepads, the underwear they have was SO much better than the hospital ones. Much more comfortable and fitted.
It’s been my #1 new mom recommendation. If I have another, I will stock up on them.
Anonymous says
I found that the mesh was good b/c it stretched and breathed. BUT it could become a hot mess if you mis-stuck a pad and angered the weave trying to re-stick it. And often I felt like the ones I had weren’t fit to hold the icepack up if I had to get up. Maybe the quality varies by brand, but I could have used something a bit more high-waisted and snugger to feel like it would stay up vs something that felt a bit to barely there. [I get how c-sections could be different.] There was one night where I swear I lost 10 pounds of fluid just peeing (it was the fluid gain from the hospital IVs you get if you get an epidural) and I felt like these were too stretched out to fight gravity any more.
AnonATL says
Super glamorous question related to this.. I was planning to pick up a pack of depends for the first few days post-baby. Are these really that much better? I figure the depends take the place of having to attach a pad to these.
Anyone have a preference on these mesh style vs depends or other brands of adult diapers? Thanks for all the guidance for a first time mom.
Anonymous says
I did not do depends. Something psychological about actually having to wear an adult diaper. I also found that bleeding slowed down enough after 24-48 hours that I could just use an overnight pad. So the depends would’ve been overkill.
XStitcher says
I bought the depends (always has a version too that I used). I thought the pads were too thick and bulky. The depends were thinner but just as absorbent. Also, a lower possibility of leaks due to a misplaced or wandering pad. I had a c-section, so I don’t know from personal experience about holding the ice packs, but I would think that the depends would work just as well. The depends stayed up better than the mesh pair the hospital gave me which was much nicer against my incision. I’d buy a pack of the depends/always just to have them on hand to try if you don’t like whatever the hospital gives you.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I just used the hospital provided mesh underwear, pads and icepacks.
Mrs. Jones says
+1. Also, for you first-time moms, when you use the bathroom for the first time after giving birth, prepare yourself for a crime scene. That was something no one warned me about, although I guess I should have expected it.
anne-on says
+1 – even if you have a c-section. I did have the benefit of not having that area be ‘healing’ while I had my first bathroom trips, just the fun of trying to maneuver while hooked up to an IV/pain meds, fun!
Anon says
Same if you have any kind of gyno surgery. I had a laparoscopic cyst removal and freaked when I went to the bathroom after. My doc was very apologetic that I should have been warned. They also gave me these underwear after to hold my pad in place and I thought they were the most comfortable underwear ever, but that could have been the Oxy talking. I was loving everything. They gave me gluten free toast and I started crying about how nice it was of them to make sure I had a gluten free snack.
Anon says
+1 I was used to the mesh underwear from the hospital so when I got home I didn’t care that we had depends.. I sent DH out on a scavenger hunt to find these (I think we ended up using Amazon for them, I don’t even remember), plus giant pads, the spray numb stuff and ice packs. I was not interested in changing what I had gotten used to after a really tough delivery. Postpartum care is WAY under discussed and I was not mentally or physically prepared for that.
AnonATL says
Thanks for all the feedback. My current postpartum shopping list looks like this: Depends/Mesh undies, Colace, Dermoplast spray, Frida Mom peri bottle, Tucks, Nipple cream, and some larger pads. I think I might also grab a cheap pack of cotton briefs since most of my underwear will hit right where a c section scar would be.
I haven’t ordered anything yet, because I have no clue what my hospital will end up providing. Hospital tours are cancelled, and surprisingly my OB practice doesn’t have a paper-version of what you should/shouldn’t bring to the hospital and what they provide. I figure it’s better to be overprepared, especially with the state of the world. It’s a little more difficult to send my husband up to the store to grab 1 thing.
Emily S. says
Good idea on the briefs. I needed some underwear that didn’t irritate my scar. It was only a short time ( a week or so) but I really appreciated it. On that note, I also like dresses instead of leggings because I was so tender and treated my scar so gingerly for a few weeks (I also gave birth in May and August so it was warm.)The Upspring C-panties were very helpful in helping me feel “held in” after about 10 days. I didn’t wear them after my first, but after my second and a later gyno surgery, and I felt the difference.
anonn says
Rather than depends underwear, I wish we had disposable bed-pads so we weren’t changing the sheets constantly (sweat, blood, milk, discharge… its a lot). I also slept on a towel sometimes too, the night sweats were intense. The hospital will give you a peri bottle, i’m not sure what could make the Frida one that much better. I used a regular pad for about a month, the super thick ones I only needed for a few days, but the hospital gave us plenty. In addition to nipple cream, the hot/cold gel pads, and hair clips in case your hair is long, to keep it out of baby’s face/hands when feeding.
Anonymous says
Can confirm that the Frida one IS that much better. It has a larger capacity and an angled head to help you reach your bits better.
And then you can keep the hospital one in your diaper bag (on early newborn doctor visits, for example) or a less-used bathroom.
anne-on says
I’d also add nipple shields, the nipple cooling pack things (lanisoh soothies – these were the BEST), nursing pads (basically period pads for your boobs, for leaking), your own full sized towel (hospital ones are small and scratchy) and grippy socks that you can trash after leaving – hospital floors are cold, slippery, and germy.
JA says
Second the nipple shields and (more importantly) the nipple cooling pack things. My favorites were the Ameda comfortgel, but they are super hard to find. Honestly, just make sure you have something as the first few weeks of breastfeeding sucks (pun intended).
anon says
I got Depends Silhouettes based on recommendations here for baby #2. I liked them WAY better than pads and mesh undies. The Silhouettes were not bulky. I never had to worry about them slipping. They fit easily under normal clothes. TMI, but they were also very useful with a nasty stomach flu tore through my household.
Anonymous says
You can get a free sample of depends/poise/always/whatever brands there are. I got them but couldn’t bring myself to wear them, it felt too gross. I’m sure it’s highly variable but I did not need them at all. Sure there was heavy bleeding but I’ve bled that heavily before during regular periods, especially as a teen. Also another point is that to change depends you need to take off your pants and put them back on every time. Make sure to ask for extra panties/ice packs/pads/etc at the hospital to take home.
Pogo says
such a personal preference. I loved the Depends. Some people hate them and prefer the mesh. Try both! Pretty sure Depends are FSA unlike pads, so at least there’s that.
Anon says
Same. I only had the mesh and pad for baby #1, but went full Depends for baby #2 and was so much happier with the Depends. I just felt really un-confident with the mesh/pad combo that it was positioned correctly & capturing everything.
EDW says
+ 1 I used Depends for baby #1 and plan to for baby #2 as well. It was a little awkward for about 5 minutes, but I also got the thinner version and, considering I only needed them for a couple weeks postpartum and was wearing pajamas 95% of the time for those few weeks, didn’t feel like it looked weird under clothing or anything like that. I had an easy time recovering from birth, physically, but was completely mentally and emotionally overwhelmed at the time–so being able to just pull something on and not worry about getting it dirty or adding to the laundry pile, etc., provided an outsized mental benefit.
NYCer says
I hated mesh underwear. I much preferred regular full butt cotton underwear. I think I used motherhood maternity brand. I did have a c-section though, so I am not sure if I would have felt differently if I had a v delivery.
Birthday Party Timing says
I had both a c section and a VBAC. I have strong preference for the diapers designed for postpartum. That way I didn’t have to worry about the pad shifting, leaks, etc.
CCLA says
Echoing other posters to gather a few items and do some trial and error. I loved the always version of depends for the first week or so PP, then moved on to the always infinity pads with comfortable briefs. Hated the mesh, but it will be personal preference for sure and the hospital only provides the mesh…if you want options, arm yourself!
front load washer says
Hacks for cleaning a front load washer? I’ve never owned one before but we bought a house 10 months ago with one. There are a hundred different suggestions when I search online.
We’re using it a ton these days and we’re noticing a brown (mold?) growing on the glass of the door and I’m assuming the rest of it needs to be cleaned somehow, too. Will baking soda and vinegar through a cycle or two do the trick? TIA.
Anonanonanon says
If it’s newer, it’s worth googling your specific machine to see if there is a cleaning cycle option programmed in.
I’m a fan of baking soda and vinegar run on a hot water cycle, but when I had a front loading washer I found I still had to wipe out the inside occasionally, even with that. I wiped down the door and the… door rim? (don’t know the word) regularly with just a method brand or lysol wipe fairly regularly. Leaving the door open between cycles sometimes helped, but was a pain because of where the washer was located.
Cb says
We wipe ours down and also use a laundry lasso to keep the washing machine door from closing and trapping in moisture.
Anon says
We haven’t cleaned our front-load washer in the 1.5 years we’ve had this house, but we also leave the door open all the time, except when it’s running, which seems to prevent mold growth.
Realist says
I probably go over the top, but every night, I remove the soap drawer, shake it out and leave it in the laundry sink to dry, then I wipe down the soap drawer cavity, the door, and the gasket (in and out), then leave it all wide open to dry. I almost never run the cleaning cycle, what I do instead is wash a load of white towels on the “sanitize” cycle with nonchlorine bleach once a week. We have family members really sensitive to mold and I wouldn’t have a frontloader at all, except our laundry room layout requires stackable machines. Front loaders develop mold that is really hard to clean otherwise (we had to replace a year old machine because prior owners had let it mold and nothing worked to get it clean again, and I tried everything).
anne-on says
+1 – a SHOCKING amount of water hides out in the soap drawer, we always let it fully air dry after we wash. Leaving the door open helps. I also find using less soap helps too – we use vinegar as our ‘softener’ and half washing soda, half soap, which works nicely. Our weekly load of white towels/bathmats is run with vinegar, washing soda, detergent, and ammonia (with ammonia IN the machine) on hot. That seems to do a perfectly fine job of killing anything grody.
Anon says
palm on forehead…. why have I never thought of this for washing white towels which I do every week!?
if you do get grody stuff under the lip of the rubber seal a Lysol wipe over the end of a chop stick works amazing. (ours was disgusting when we moved in to the point that I thought I would have to replace with seal). In combo with the vinegar sanitize mix.
Spirograph says
I leave the door open after every cycle, and haven’t noticed anything growing on the door, but in my washer there’s kind of a lid/lip part over the rubber door seal. It isn’t full closed and can be pulled back, but definitely holds the moisture in there, so the bottom gets a little gross.
Mine has a self-cleaning cycle that I run occasionally, but it doesn’t get the lip under the door seal. For that, I pour spash-less bleach directly in there (there are drain holes, so the more viscous bleach clings a little better) and then scrub. If I wiped it more frequently it probably wouldn’t need scrubbing.
Anon says
I’ve been obsessed with @gocleanco on Instagram after finding the account during mindless quarantine social media use. “Hot water, bleach and tide” is the theme (sing it to head, shoulders, knees and toes”), use a scrubber brush with that combo on the door seal. Check it out.
Anonymous says
Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but when you mix vinegar + baking soda aren’t you inactivating the solution and turning it into water + carbon dioxide? I think you should just use vinegar unless you need the fizzing action for something like cleaning a drain.
anne-on says
Yes, but our newer front loader has a ‘fabric softener’ cup that only gets added in at the end of the cycle – that’s where I put the vinegar so it doesn’t just turn into a science experiment. If you just have one big cup for soap I can see not doing that.
Anonymous says
As others have noted, we found a buildup of mold under the rubber seal was the smell culprit, and had to buy a special tool (a spring expansion tool) to be able to get that off and clean it out. None of the cleaning cycles worked because they weren’t actually getting that mold build up out. I hate it, but it’s not super surprising that there would be gross buildup considering I’ve had teh washer through a dog, cat, two babies, now messy toddlers.
anon says
Definitely check the gasket. You can soak a towel in a bleach and water mixture and let it sit on the gasket for awhile (1/2-1hour). That will help. I use the Affresh tablets monthly (plus the door is always open).
Anon says
are learning towers worth it? and if they are, does anyone have a suggestion? we have soon to be 2 year old twins and live in an apartment. don’t really want another item that is just going to take up space. until one age are they typically used?
Anonymous says
We’re in a pretty small space (1000 sq ft apartment) and I love ours. It’s huge, heavy, and I get very cranky when it’s in the way, but my 2 year old and 4.5 year old both love it and use it several times a day. I think it’s actually more helpful as kids get older because they can do more in the kitchen. My older kid makes himself breakfast, feeds the cats, etc., all independently. And it’s big enough both kids can fit on it together, although they often squabble about it.
Anon says
There was a discussion about this last week where many people said they just use a chair or a folding stepstool, but as a fellow twin parent I greatly prefer the security of a learning tower so one kid doesn’t shove the other off. We got ours at 22 months and still use it multiple times a week at almost 4. Some brands have smaller footprints and/or fold up, so if you’re short on space I’d look into those.
Anon says
do you have a brand to recommend that fits twins?
Anon says
We have the Guidecraft Contemporary Kitchen Helper Stool, which is the same dimensions as the Classic one mentioned below. THe fact that it folds up is great. Guidecraft also makes a double version, but I think it’s only a few inches wider.
I’ve put three 3yos in a Little Partner’s Learning Tower, but only 2 can really reach a counter at a time, and I don’t think the increase in price is worth it for the slightly bigger size, especially because it doesn’t fold.
FVNC says
We have the Guidecraft Classic Kitchen Helper that folds up when not in use. My oldest is 6.5 and doesn’t it frequently any more, but for years she used it daily. My 3 year old uses it pretty often. It’s in perfect condition (I mean, other than being grubby from sticky hands) after 5+ years and 2 moves. I like that the kids can both fit on it, and I like the security of the bar behind them.
Anonymous says
I have 3 kids and say no. But I am also anti-toddler bed and anti-pullup.
To me, it’s more kid clutter when a chair works just fine. But I totally understand how they work for some people!
Anon says
My friend wanted to buy me one for DD’s first birthday and I declined and now I regret it. I don’t think we would have gotten much use of it when she was 1, but now that she’s 2 she adores helping us in the kitchen and actually has the attention span for a full baking project. We use a stool but I think the learning tower would be safer and more secure, as well as more comfortable for her.
anon says
I didn’t get one because I am anti-clutter. My three year old helps me cook while sitting on the dining room table instead.
Birthday Party Timing says
I have a large kitchen so the bulk of this doesn’t bother me. That said, I love ours. It’s parked at the island and has had daily use since toddler was about 14 months old. I got the Little Partners version that was enclosed in all sides and I liked parking her there while I worked in the kitchen. She also enjoys eating snacks and meals standing there. As she got older I took the sides off so she could climb in and out solo.
I actually plan on getting a second when my baby is old enough. Then they can each have their own. They could share but it’d be a little tight and baby will be a little wobbly for the rambunctious toddler in the short term.
XStitcher says
Any issues with the 14 month old trying to get out of the fully enclosed one? I know my 14 month old would love this but I’m worried about the ones with open sides. She’s a climber and much more daring than I would like her to be at this level of stability.
Birthday Party Timing says
Mine has never been a climber. She hasn’t ever attempted to climb out of her crib either. So sorry, no help there.
Twins says
I have twins and it was great. We found a hand me down classic one and while bulky fit both of them at the same time. Given the bulk, you can likely find free or cheap second hand in a city since it is not something you can easily hang on to
Playroom Decor Help says
I’m in search of some decor for our playroom walls. The room is a good size, not a ton of natural light. We have a white beadboard that comes up half way to a chair rail and then Benjamin Moore Blue Jean on top. There is one long, 11′ wall above a Nugget (kids sofa) that needs some decor.
I feel like all of my art around the house is in series – like four pictures of one theme, three pictures of another type of theme. It’s feeling a little over done. I’m not opposed to doing three side-by-side related images in the playroom (that’s what i’m finding the most of when I search for ideas), but wondering if anyone had any other suggestions before I hit copy/paste again. Thanks!
Anon says
We’ve had good luck with wall decals, which come in many different kinds: jungle scene, underwater scene, alphabet and numbers, outer space, etc.
Spirograph says
+1 to wall decals. I’m about to throw away our alphabet ones because the kids discovered they can peel them off and rearrange them and stick them to other surfaces. It was fun for a few weeks, but now they’re getting mangled and misshapen. Lasted a good 7 years, though!
Em says
+1 we did a giant wall decal that is a colorful world map with animals on one wall in the playroom. It was about $30 on Amazon and kind of a pain to put up, but only took an hour and looks great. We put colorful animal prints from Etsy one the other wall.
avocado says
We had a really cute US map and put stickers on all the cities she’d visited.
Anon says
We’re doing this too, with push pins.
Anonymous says
We had a clothesline with clips to hang the latest preschool masterpieces, a framed piece of art the kid had made, and a framed piece of art my mother had saved from my childhood.
Cb says
I wonder about a cloth wall hanging in a cheerful print. I just did a DIY one with dowels in my sitting room and it looks fantastic – just a bit different. You could do a fun graphic print and swap it out as interests evolve.
Emily S. says
My playroom is about the only room in the house I love. I painted the wall opposite the windows teal, and on the adjacent wall, stuck “Confetti Rainbow Colors Polka Dots” (from A-zon), 2 white boards to hang kid art, and on the ceiling, hung three rainbow mini flags from Brooklyn Owl like circus tent swag. It’s colorful without being overwhelming and having a plain wall helps the eyes rest. The banners on the ceiling make the room look taller, too.
For Christmas a few years ago, my husband made a trio of black and white photo canvases with pictures of our daughter, and I meant to hang those in there, but then didn’t and now we have 2 kids and I didn’t want the youngest to feel left out, so…. But that is a really cool idea!
BTW, do you like the Nugget? I’ve been considering buying one.
Emily S. says
Also, in kids’ rooms, I’ve done 3 poster size prints of flamingo paintings from Art dot com framed in Ikea Ribba frames. Super easy, super cheap, doesn’t scream kid.
AIMS says
We got some Andy Warhol prints and put them in non-glass, white ikea frames. It looks great and I feel like It’s something my kids can grow with (I still have some art from my room growing up and am very happy that my mom went with something a bit less obvious that I can keep in my house now).
OP says
It hasn’t arrived yet. We ordered it in March and shipping is on hold until they reopen. I can’t wait for it and will report back.
Anon says
Not OP, but the Nugget is great. If you are the nervous type, you do have to be prepared for your children to almost/actually crash off it multiple times per use, but it definitely gets their energy out! I have two boys and we use it mostly for jumping, climbing and rolling around, vs the creative castle and fort builds I’ve seen people do.
Anonymous says
Crate & Kids has some cute shelves and things if you want variety from just art.
Anonymous says
MA moms out there- Baker is set to announce an update on school closures today. Think it’ll go through Memorial Day or will he announce the full year?
I feel like puking either way. This is wholly unsustainable.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Most likely the full year is cancelled. I don’t see any way they’re going to reopen schools when we’re at our peak now/about to reach our peak (I stopped tracking…) I hope daycares can open before September though – optimistically early June, more likely after July 4th.
Anonymous says
Here! I only have a 2 year old but have been following closely.
I think they go back for 1-2 weeks in the first part of June, but not every day. Rolling schedules by grade so kids can return books, teachers can check in, maybe even do assessments to see how much was retained/lost. The assessment part Baker alluded to on Saturday, but mentioned it only as one of many ideas. But that’s it. No more real learning until September.
Anonymous says
You think so?? I have a toddler, a preschooler, a K and a 2nd. We are absolutely dying here but thankful to both still be (attempting) to WFH.
Anonymous says
To clarify, I think kids go back for 1-2 days a piece over the two week window. But I’m basing this on basically nothing material and just speculation.
Anonymous says
Closed through end of school year. BOOM. There it is.
Anononymous says
And no daycare until June 29.
Anon says
Wow, I’m shocked you guys hadn’t had a full school year closure before this. My Republican-led Midwest state canceled the school year weeks ago.
Anonymous says
I mean, over here in Maryland (which is doing a good job in most other respects) we’re still pretending school’s going to go back in May…
Anonymous says
I don’t think anyone actually expects us to go back in May. On May 3rd or so we’ll get the announcement about school closed for the rest of the year (June 15). My husband’s theory is that Hogan’s only doing 2-4 week increments because flimsy hope is the only thing keeping parents from the depths of despair.
Anonymous says
MA schools go to the 3rd week of June, so I think they held off longer vs states that end school in May.
Anon says
Oh ok that makes sense. Our schools end in late May. I can see holding out hope for June.
Em says
Yea, NE didn’t even have a stay-at-home order and they still canceled school for the whole year weeks ago.
Anon says
The Midwest probably has a later predicted peak and earlier end to school. Here in NY we are past peak and our school year goes practically to the end of June. That said, I don’t think we’ll resume this year.
Anon says
I’m in Ohio and our Governor only yesterday announced that schools will be closed through end of year. I’m not even sure when the end of school year is in Ohio but our hospitals haven’t been overwhelmed. The Cleveland Clinic sent doctors to volunteer in NY last week. He also announced a while ago that the state will start opening up on May 1. No word on daycares yet. I have an almost 2 year old so I’m anxiously waiting on that announcement.
Pogo says
I know overall it’s probably the right call, but was hoping he’d keep extending it weeks at a time. June 29 feels like FOREVER and I can’t think that far ahead.
If the weather ever improves (they’re calling for HAIL today?? DH joked “What’s next, locusts?”) I might take some PTO in the June timeframe just to de-stress a bit. Have water balloon fights and play with bubbles and build a fort in the woods or something. Need something to look forward to….
K. says
@Pogo: Um…I hate to be the voice of negativity, but apparently Africa–particularly Ethiopia–is having a huge locust problem right now that is threatening the food supply. Ugh…wasn’t 2020 supposed to be an improvement over 2019? How silly we were in January!
Anonymous says
I think I may actually be breaking out in hives from the stress.
I can do no school.
I can do stay at home.
I can do no daycare.
I cannot do all three while WFH. My kids are climbing the walls with nothing open. No stores, parks, playgrounds, museums. Can’t even ride the train around for entertainment. I really hope the stay home mandate is lifted soon so we can do basic things again (while maintaining social distance, of course). My kids can’t go six more weeks without playdates or other social interaction. They just can’t. We will be looking into expanding our socially distant circle.
Anonymous says
what the @#$@#P(!
I knew it was coming. I did. But it’s hitting me like a load of bricks. Two WFH parents and a 2 year old. We’ve had a babysitter since the beginning from 9 am to nap time, so it’s manageable-ish but far from allowing either one of us to operate at 100%, let alone 75%. I work with west coast clients and so much happens between 3 and 6 pm.
The stay at home order wasn’t extended technically (yet), was it? I think it still stands at May 4 – did anyone pick up on that?
Anonymous says
You are extremely lucky – 1 toddler between 2 parents and a babysitter sounds completely amazing to me.
Anonymous says
Sadly I agree! I have 3 under 6 and two WFH parents. Which of course is a lie because I am working 20 hours and DH is maybe at 35.
Anon says
Duplicate comment and bad nesting, sorry. Admin please delete!
Nanny activities says
I finally broke down and hired part time help with our toddler while daycare is closed. Any ideas on things I could leave for the nanny to do with him? He has toys, obviously, but fewer than you’d think as we aren’t really home much normally (as terrible as that sounds!)
She is awesome and I am (probably unreasonably) worried they’re both going to be super bored cooped up in our living room and small yard for hours on end.
Anon says
I have an almost 2 year old. Our babysitter is a daycare teacher, so she’s used to all kinds of things to occupy the kiddos. I bought markers, paint, pipe cleaners, glue, pads of paper. I save TP rolls and paper towel rolls and they do all sorts of arts and crafts, maybe 30-45 minutes per day. Playdoh has been a hit, also. They also watch some Sesame Street and have screen time that wouldn’t be allowed in more normal times but honestly…. I literally don’t care any more.
Anon says
how old is he? also- my nanny literally makes activities out of nothing. we live in an apartment, so no backyard.
Anonymous says
You don’t need to do this. She’s a nanny. She can figure out how to occupy a toddler that is literally her job.
Nanny activities says
I know that and I figured someone would say this, but I want to leave some things to help make her job easier if I can. She hasn’t complained and I’m sure she won’t, I’m just trying to think of what supplies/toys/things might be helpful.
Normally she wouldn’t be confined to part of the house while my husband and I are both WFH and they’d be able to go places, so it is a weird situation.
Anon says
can you ask her? she might have some ideas.
anon says
I would say, “I’m happy to get art supplies or other materials you may need. Just give me a list.”
IHeartBacon says
I would suggest that you tell the nanny to just let you know what kind of stuff she would like you to buy to help occupy the kiddo’s time. Ideally, you want to get stuff that suits both their personalities because you want the nanny to be enthusiastic about the project/toy/etc. For example, if your nanny is not a craft person, but is more of a science person, she may be more engaging to do science-experiment type of crafts versus just painting paper.
Cb says
For your small yard – a big rubbermaid box, sand, and loads of construction vehicles. Honestly, this has instagram inspired DIY has gotten more use out of anything we’ve purchased. My son plays with it for an hour a day. We have a small garden and this plus a pile of dirt and some tools, and his old baby bath filled with water are the most interesting things.
Anon says
How old is your toddler? Craft supplies would be the number 1 thing, I think. Other than that, do you have cars, baby dolls, some sort of building toy (wooden blocks, magantiles, duplos)? You can do a lot with those things. Also cosign on the sensory bin idea.
SC says
Depending on your current weather and how long this lasts, for outdoors, a water table, a sprinkler, some sidewalk chalk, and bubbles. You could also get some long rolls of paper and some paint for outdoor use.
I wouldn’t worry too much about them being bored. Toddlers don’t really seem to get bored, though they make their own mischief if not constantly supervised. Your nanny is being paid to take care of a toddler–a certain amount of boredom, or at least tedium, is inherent in the job.
Cb says
My husband had to go into work today and I had a Teams call. Unabashedly bribed my kiddo with a snack platter, digger videos, and the promise of chocolate. He joined in for a 5 minute cuddle but was perfectly quiet. Everyone was grinning and waving at him which was cute.
Ifiknew says
Any tips for night training my 3 year old? She’s been day trained for a year and I need to do this because she will only poop in the diaper and I am so sick of wiping poop bottoms every morning. I was going to buy a small potty chair to put next to bed and she can poop there in am if needed and I will take her to pee there once in the middle of night? Ambitious?
Anon says
We decided to night-train our just-turned 3yo now because may as well disrupt overnight sleep while we’re all home anyway. It wasn’t actually as bad as we thought! She has a small potty in her room that she’ll use when she wakes up in the morning sometimes, but has generally been surprisingly good at staying dry all night. We pee before bedtime (~7:30), but don’t do any middle-of-the-night potty trips, so I’d say don’t start that until you know it’s necessary. For my kid, we figured out that all her peeing is when she wakes up, so the main thing was training her to remember that she’s not wearing a diaper anymore so can’t do that.
Op says
Thank you so much! Is she in a Toddler bed?
Anon says
Yeah, she’s in a crib with the side taken off, so she can easily get out if she wants. We did have some boundary testing in the beginning, where she wanted to get out and try to use the little potty after we left the room every night, but now that the novelty wore off she only uses it in the morning.
I’m sure we could also do this without the in-room potty, but we’re lazy and don’t want to have to go get her as soon as we hear her wake up in the morning.
Op says
Our plan exactly. We’re going to try the toddler bed this weekend then give it some time before getting rid of diapers. We went back to crib a few months ago because of boundary testing but hopefully toddler bed goes smoother now
Anon says
My 2 year old just said to me “Mommy has too many work calls.” I absolutely hate this :(. She’s been in daycare since she was 12 weeks old and I’ve never felt working mom guilt like this before.
Anon says
My 2.5YO knows that to hang up on people you press the red button (she does a lot of video chats with her grandparents and aunts). She keeps trying to hang up my work calls when I am on the phone too long.
anne-on says
You are doing awesome. This is absolutely NOT normal times, and you are doing the very best you can. I’ve said to friends that if my kid was smaller I would have probably quit by now – you just can’t rely on small children to entertain themselves and you can only work in 2-hr blocks (or whatever your chunks are) for so long. This is just really, really hard.
Pogo says
The past few days our 2yo has kept saying “No go work, Mommy” (or Daddy). Or saying “Come play with me” and if I say I have to work, he says “After you all done work Mommy?” in the saddest little voice. At least they’re young enough they won’t remember all this?
Anon says
just introduced my almost two year old to Daniel Tiger. I know many moms on this board are huge fans. The first episode includes the theme “when something seems bad, turn it around and find something good” — i am trying to apply that mindset to this current situation. so what is your something good?
mine is that DH is not traveling for work or working late out of the house, so even though I am still frequently doing bedtime itself solo (bc he still has work to do), he cleans up the mess that my toddlers make during dinner, which is something I hate doing & we’ve been eating more meals as a family
Cb says
I’ve got my tiny little garden in great shape and my son and I start the day snuggling in bed and reading stories for an hour. We’re also been exploring our neighbourhood and all my neighbours have been saying hello and looking out for one another.
AIMS says
I think my kids have gotten a lot closer and we have all been eating dinner together earlier. I also read more fiction these days because I can’t watch the news as much.
anne-on says
We’ve been cooking a lot more (healthier meals! the most family meals we’ve had together during the week in years!) and my kiddo is doing really really well with online schooling. I’m enjoying the chance to ‘see’ what he does more, and I kind of like being a subject teacher for part of his day. I’ll definitely miss all the family time when this is over.
avocado says
Yesterday my husband said, “You know, if it weren’t for the pandemic, I’d really be enjoying this lifestyle.” We are spending more time with our 13-year-old than we have in years. In the Before Times, she used to get home at 8:45 p.m. most weekdays. We’d have a quick family dinner and rush her into bed. She would be gone half the day on Saturday and Sunday and spend the rest of the weekend doing homework. Now we walk the dog and do chores and play games together. I had been considering moving the television out of the family room because we never watched it together, but now we all sit on the couch and watch old movies and silly shows.
FVNC says
Despite the stress of this situation, I’m thankful for several “something goods”: mornings with no schedule until “school” starts at 9, lots and lots and lots of outside time, much more family time, kids playing well together (occasionally) for long stretches.
Anonymous says
Kids (1.5 and 5) are really learning to play together and becoming besties. They’re also getting a lot more unstructured outside time – learning to entertain each other outside for 60-90 minutes without adult input (which is so much easier with two than it was with one!).
And I’m getting into yoga for the first time ever!
Boston Legal Eagle says
My kids (4 and 1.5) are spending more time together and are starting to play together, or at least play next to each other for some bit of time. For me, I’ve gained a lot of confidence in my ability to watch two young kids at once – I know a lot of you solo parented before but I didn’t really, for more than an hour here and there on the weekends. We were able to spend our older one’s actual birthday (today!) with him, when we would otherwise have been at work.
Anonymous says
Happy birthday to him! it’s my son’s birthday today too :)
Boston Legal Eagle says
Thank you, happy birthday to your son as well!
Spirograph says
My kids are also a lot closer. They’ve always played pretty well together, but not having the option to play sports with neighbors has forced the oldest to re-integrate with his younger siblings. I do *not* like playing Monopoly Junior every night, but the kids love it and it’s nice to make them happy.
We’re also sharing our solo hobbies: My husband decided that learning to play piano is going to be his pandemic project, and the kids got in on it, too. I’ve played for 30+ years, but this is the first time I’ve tried to teach anyone, and it’s surprisingly fun! In exchange, he’s teaching everyone video games.
avocado says
My daughter keeps trying to teach us to play video games. I just don’t find it entertaining to forage for food, cook, etc. in a fake world. I already have to do all of that in real life.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
I am really enjoying this time overall. Since activities are closed we just hang out in the evening after dinner, going for a walk and riding bikes. My 5 year old went from training wheels to a 5 mile no training wheels bike ride since we’ve been home. They’ve planted some things in the yard which we have been trying to do for years. It used to be that Saturday morning was the only day I could sit and enjoy my coffee and not have to get up and go somewhere. Now that’s every day. I can start working around 7:30-8 which is my productive zone whereas I usually don’t start until 9:15 due to the school schedule.
Birthday Party Timing says
Having a birthday party in November may be a fantasy, but just play along with me.
I will have a 1 year old and 3 year old in November.
What time do you schedule a birthday party for the one year old? By that time we will be in opposite nap schedules. It seems like someone’s nap is going to have to be sacrificed but which one?
Anon says
a 4:30pm party should work for both naps?
Anonymous says
Sacrifice the 3 year olds nap. By that age they can push through one day. Plus my daughter stopped napping reliably by her third birthday anyways! And she was a champ napper until that point
Anon says
+1.
I think a 4:30 pm party is late for a bunch of 1 year olds. At that age my kid went to bed around 6:30 so we would only have attended a late afternoon party if it was at our next door neighbors.
AnotherAnon says
This is tricky. I might sacrifice the 1 y/o’s nap and put him/her to bed early. We did a 4PM birthday for our 1 year old, and then put him to bed at 7 (his normal bedtime). He took a nap until 1. Only a few other kids came, but they were older. What’s your party theme?
anne-on says
At that age a daycare parent invited us all for a birthday breakfast party which I thought was genius (look, we’re all up at the crack of dawn with small kids anyway). I believe it was 9-11 or so? Coffee/juice/milk, and brunch-y foods for the kids, then they ran around inside/outside and we all had cake and left before lunch/afternoon nap.
I think missing a morning nap is easier than missing the afternoon one, personally, and 1 is around when a lot of kids drop it anyway, so maybe use it as a test to drop it?
SC says
When my son turned 1, he was napping twice a day. We had his party around lunchtime (maybe 11-1). We put him down for his second nap immediately after the party.
By 3, earlier in the day (10-12) would have been a more convenient nap time, but we certainly could have pushed his nap until 1.
Anonymous says
I would do brunch and keep it short – 2 hours is fine, so like 10-noon or so. You can always wake the 1 year old up from the morning nap a little early if necessary. I would not do late afternoon as that hour does not tend to bring out the best in kids regardless of how well they napped.
Spirograph says
This. What time do you think the naps will be? I think late morning/lunch parties are best to dodge most nap schedules. Two-nap kids are usually awake from morning nap by 10 or 11, and afternoon nap is usually after 1pm for either one or two-nap kids.
100000% agree late afternoon is always a crapshoot. It’s still a crapshoot with my first grader!
Ifiknew says
My kids are the same age but turning 1 and 3 at the end of May. This is not related to your bday party question although I’d do a 9 to 11 party too, but how are you coping in the pandemic with these ages? Do you have help and how are the kids entertaining themselves? I’m finding this age spacing so so challenging and constantly wonder what I was thinking
Anon says
The two year gap is very hard the first year, moderately hard the second year, and then great! My boys are now 2.5 and 4.5 and starting to play together really well/be actual friends. I’m so glad I didn’t wait and instead still have a crazy 1 year old and no buddy for the older one (that said, it *was* so tough at the beginning that we are just now trying for #3).
Ifiknew says
So helpful, thank you so much for this!
Birthday Party Timing says
This will probably get me flamed but mine are still in daycare. It’s deemed essential in our state, my husband can’t work from home and I have to work during normal business hours.
Attendance is probably down 80% so while there is still a risk it is one I’ve just had to come to terms with. It’s also one I’ve made because kids themselves are low risk.
They have a number of strategies and new policies in place due to COVID as well.
Anon says
No flaming from me. DH and I are both working from home but totally exhausted and stressed out. We’d be at daycare if it were open (it’s legally allowed in our state but our center chose to close). In fact, if it isn’t open by the end of May, I think we’re going to look into moving to a center that is open because working from home with toddler and no childcare is unsustainable. And we only have one.
Anonymous says
Omg what?!? Talk about massively massively borrowing tmrw’s problems. You don’t know what time your kids will even be napping then because if is 6 months away! This is insane.
Anonymous says
Let her have fun. It’s fun to plan fun things, especially when fun is hard to come by.
Birthday Party Timing says
Yea, it’s not a problem I’m stressed over. I do think it’s fun to plan these things and have been considering COVID and non COVID plans for the fall.
Also, I think it’s a pretty safe bet to say the 1 year old will be on a 2 nap schedule. If they are already at 1 then problem solved.
I just wanted to see what other have done and get some suggestions.
Birthday Party Timing says
Thanks all. I like the idea of sacrificing the 3 year olds nap. She will be best suited to power through.
I like a morning party as well but most of my family doesn’t have young children and won’t enjoy a morning event.
Again, this is kind of just daydreaming at this point. TBD on what the fall actually looks like. I just saw a birthday party for a one year old with just the parents and siblings on social media. It was so darling.
Anon says
Most people in my social circle don’t have birthday parties for 1 year olds even in non-pandemic times, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I think it’s much harder with kids who are 3+ and really understand birthday parties and want to have friends over.
Annonn says
Any favorite lactation recipes that aren’t cookies? I need to change it up!
Anonymous says
Baked oatmeal! Although really I think if you had flaxseed and brewers yeast to anything with oats, it’s basically a lactation recipe.
Anonymous says
Lentil curry aka dal. Red lentils are the easiest to cook.
KatieWolf says
I love the pumpkin choc chip lactation muffins from Love & Zest, but I actually sub craisins or currants for the chocolate chips, the fruit seems to pair better with the other ingredients (I love chocolate FWIW!). I would eat at least 3 of those a day in the early postpartum weeks.
Emily S. says
Plain old oatmeal and the lactation tea worked better than cookies for me!
make em say uh.... anon-anon says
overnight oats! tons of recipes out there to adapt with lacatation ingredients. i use beachbody shakeology, rolled oats, brewer’s yeast, wheat germ, almond milk and (pb/banana/strawberry, etc).
Chalk says
Anyone have sidewalk chalk recommendations? We have the Crayola washable kind and it ends up smearing all over my kids’ clothes. Are other brands any better? I don’t remember the chalk of my childhood being this smeary!
Anonymous says
The cheap stuff from Target.
Anonymous says
Chalk is just super messy. Especially when it gets wet. My kids like to get it wet and then paint all their exposed skin with it. I just plan on chalk days being bath days.
Pogo says
Oh it’s all messy. There’s no hope.