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I like this blazer that’s currently on sale at Macy’s. It’s available in 14 colors and looks like a great staple to have in your closet. I like the longer length and the long, thin lapels. The slanted pockets are flattering, as are the elbow-length sleeves.
This blazer would look nice in a fun color with jeans and would also look nice over a sheath dress. Just please don’t wear it as they styled it for the “Autumn Berry” color.
It’s on sale for $59.63 at Macy’s, marked down from $79.50, and it’s available in sizes XS–XXL. Menswear Blazer
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
fallen says
I also need desperate help with 2.5 year old sleep, if anyone has tips! Mine lately will wake up ~1x per night and just require one of us to go in (We typically have my husband go bc if he sees me he gets super excited/awake). After my husband goes in and gives him water/readjusts his blanket/tells him to back to sleep he typically fall asleep quickly. Also a PIA to put down to bed, hiding from me under the bed, running away, and will require at least 1 check-in before he goes down. He was mostly sleeping through the night before this too (other than occasional disruptions), after sleep training as a baby. We are at our wits end, and so painful to work the next day if I have a hard time falling back to sleep.
Pogo says
So much solidarity. I have all of this and more with my 3yo. He needs me to lay down next to him until he falls asleep every.damn.night. He will wake up in the early morning (4-5) and demand his diaper be changed or blanket readjusted. I make a major effort to be very consistent with both time and routines (we go up for bath at same time every day, same order of bath pjs books milk songs). Having his daycare cut his nap to an hour has helped him be more tired and less running around fighting bedtime. At 2.5 this could be part of the problem too.
Following if anyone has other ideas!
Pogo says
Oh GCA’s comment also reminded me I realized a big part of the problem too is that we let him sleep in now that we don’t have anywhere to go. He would sleep til 8 if we let him most days, so we should suck it up and wake him at 6 or 6:30 every day if we want to really get him back on track, but…. baby + wfh means we’re just not in a hurry to wake up and get going. Certainly a consistent wake up time wouldn’t hurt!
GCA says
Troubleshooting questions! What time is bedtime/ AM wake up, and when/ how long is nap? On the bedtime front, when they start to need less nap, bedtime can start to feel endless. If that’s the problem, consider shortening the nap and making bedtime earlier.
When is the nightly wakeup? Is it consistently around a specific time? What’s happening around then that might be nudging him into full wakefulness — a need to pee or something like that? I’ve noticed that recently, about 2-3 times a week, my 2yo will be very perky around 5am and takes a bit of coaxing to get back down for her last 90min sleep cycle before she is up at 6.30. I don’t know what’s happening there, but consider tracking patterns.
OP says
His nap is a cluster. He naps 40 mins-1 hour (occasionally, closer to 2 hours), but only in the car or stroller. Bedtime is 8 PM, he typically is up at 7-7:30 (although today it was 6…)
Wake is usually around 3 or so? Not exactly sure since husband typically gets up.
octagon says
Solidarity and commiseration. Mine did that for 2 years, more or less. We tried everything, usually things would work for a week or two and then we’d have to find something else to try. Here are some of the things we did:
– spoonful of peanut butter before bed (on the theory that a full tummy leads to sounder sleep)
– classical music playing all night, softly, in the room
– talking during the day about how to relax if you wake up in the middle of the night (we focused on senses, what do you hear, what do you smell, what do you feel, etc)
– talking through the monitor to soothe instead of going in
– Getting a stuffie that played a song, he could press it and listen solo (Fisher Price soother for one)
Just now at almost 5, I’m getting 4-5 nights of uninterrupted sleep in a row, but I’ve also made my peace with the fact that kiddo is a really restless sleeper. Maybe when he’s a teenager it will work itself out.
Anon says
You have to have the stomach for it but once we sleep trained we only went in at wake up time and only made exceptions when she was sick. For awhile we allowed early morning wake ups (4:30) but by 2.5 we set firm 5:45 am wake ups (still an early riser but within reason). She cried every morning for a long time but finally she understood we weren’t coming in. We also use an ok to wake clock and she knows she has to be quiet until it comes on. She’s 3 now and it has been going pretty smooth since about age 2.5.
I am working on it again with my 11 month old. He’s too young for an ok to wake clock but it’s not uncommon for him to whine starting at 4 am (though thankfully not full on tears). Sometimes he goes back to sleep and sometimes he doesn’t but we don’t get him up earlier than 5:30 am unless he’s sick.
fallen says
Did you do sleep training at 2.5? My experience is that sleep training doesn’t work at that age (if worked wonders when he was younger though) but I could be wrong
Sf says
Happy sleeper has a sleep training option for older kids!
Anon says
I sleep trained at 13 months. It was definitely a lot harder than when I sleep trained my second at 5 months. That said, 2.5 may be a different ballgame. I do still feel like there were consistent spurts of “retraining” up to 2.5.
Anonanonanon says
Specific ask: Does anyone have a play doh kit, or molds, etc. they would recommend for a 2.5 year old who has decent motor skills but a low frustration tolerance? I remember the play doh kits of my youth getting clogged, being hard to use, etc. but I’m sure they’ve improved.
AwayEmily says
We got a kit but my kids never play with the molds, they just want to mess around with the play doh. So you may be able to avoid them altogether. Grab a few random kitchen tools if they want to use those to make designs or whatever.
Anonanonanon says
Thanks. The kitchen tools have gotten old, just relying on novelty at this point, even if I only get a day out of it (we are temporarily without childcare).
Anon says
Are there kits with tiny rolling pins and cookie cutters? My nieces play with those with their play doh but they may be mini baking tools.
govtattymom says
My daughter loves the Play-Doh Kitchen Creations Spinning Mixer set. It cost about $15 and has provided HOURS of entertainment.
Anonanonanon says
This is perfect, I dont know how I missed it when searching, she would love it!
rakma says
The smaller kits tend to have less complex parts. We recently got an ice cream kit and a pizza kit that were both fun, but for the most part the most favorite tools are the rolling pin and plastic knives.
SC says
My son’s sets are all mixed up, but his favorite tools have always been the rolling pins with different textures, a cutter, and stamps. I remember there being a lot of play doh frustration at 2.5, though–for us, it was a better toy around 3.
Cate says
Agreed – rolling pins FTW
Anon says
speaking of – play doh is soo messy. little bits end up everywhere. how do people keep it contained/tips for cleaning up?
Anonanonanon says
I’m a clean freak so this is stressful BUT I have to let the little pieces dry out for a few hours before Ipick them up. Otherwise a vacuum will just grind them into the floor or carpet and they’re hard to wipe up.
Anon says
My daughter is only allowed to play with play doh on a silicone mat on top of a rimmed baking sheet. Tends to keep the mess pretty contained, and it peels cleanly off the silicone so there isn’t much cleanup, although I occasionally put it in the dishwasher.
LittleBigLaw says
We got a bag of plastic cookie cutters from the dollar store, and my kids loved it.
Anon says
Melissa and Doug Shape Model and Mold set – its rolling pins and stamps, paired with some small cookie cutters I never use.
Anonymous says
This is what we use, with some additional cookie cutters
Anon says
My sons use their little construction vehicles and matchbox cars with play dough. They make hills and construction sites
Pogo says
Came here to say I want that Argent pink suit all the celebs are posting. Literally no where to wear it these days, as I am not only quarantining but on maternity leave and exclusively wearing spit up covered leggings & giant sweaters. But someday!
Argent says
I bought the blazer! I have a few suits from Argent and love the brand. I couldn’t justify the full suit with pants but figure the blazer is more versatile. And I still regret not buying their pink blazer a few yrs ago
Money WWYD says
I am struggling with husband on money stuff. He is expecting a bonus of ~$125K in December. WWYD?
Options:
– Pay down good chunk of student loans (balance between both of us is ~$160K, most from his law degree, all federal loans on IBR)
– Keep as cash for downpayment on new house
– Make a dent in retirement savings. We have about 60% of what is traditionally recommended at our age/income level.
Circumstances:
– DH made partner this year and also brought in a very substantial settlement, so expecting big increase in income for him. My income will remain stable over the next year. Change in income will undoubtedly affect IBR payments on loans.
– We have two young kids in a 1200 sqft 3Bed/1Bath. Would like to try for a third soon. We are bursting at the seems in this house, particularly because I am WFH indefinitely (thanks, Covid). We have about $50K in savings now and would also expect ~$100K in cash after selling our current home. We would like to move in 1-2 years. Ideally downpayment would be ~$150K.
– No other debt besides house, student loans. Small CC balances that are paid each month.
Anonymous says
$25K towards downpayment
$50K – student loans
$50K – retirement savings.
Boston Legal Eagle says
What is the interest rate on the student loans? Ours were in the 6-7% range, so we paid focused on paying those off first, before turning to a down payment (interest rates on savings account are at less than 1% now). Include some extra to your retirement, but I would put the most into the student loans to get rid of those.
Realist says
In a somewhat similar situation, that was what we did. Very freeing to get that student loan balance down to 0 and stop paying interest rates that were the highest of all our debt.
Also, in looking at mortgages, there wasn’t much of an advantage (for loans or purchase contracts) in having more than 20% downpayment. I know that probably depends on the market in each location, but once you hit the criteria to be a competitive buyer that can get the best loan terms, the money is probably better used to pay other debt, put towards short-term “cushion” savings, or into retirement savings rather than towards the mortgage. Exception might be if you could more comfortably get into a 15-year loan with a larger downpayment and plan to still be in that house when the 15-year term is paid off.
Also, we took out auto loans that we didn’t have to because the rates were so ridiculously low. It made more sense to do that than to use cash, which seemed crazy, but the numbers were clear that we were better off keeping our cash and saving/investing it.
OP says
Thanks, Realist. Agree we don’t need more than 20% for a downpayment, but it would be nice to have that cash ready to go instead of waiting for our house to sell to get our downpayment funded — would give us the flexibility of being in a position to buy quickly if needed (houses in our ideal, forever-home neighborhood usually last no more than a week from listing to pending).
Anonymous says
You can borrow against the equity in your home before it sells so I wouldn’t worry about having cash on hand for the full downpayment right now if you’re not going to buy for 1-2 years.
OP says
OP here – the largest loan is 7.5% (eek). Thanks for this advice.
Anonymous says
Definitely knock out that loan and redirect the money you’ve been putting against that monthly into retirement savings or downpayment fund.
anon says
Based on your follow up comments, OP, I would (1) max out retirement contributions if you are currently missing out on any tax savings or an employer match, (2) pay down any debt over 5% interest, then (3) save for a down payment. If you’re taking advantage of all available tax savings this year, I would pay down debt and focus on a move/expanding your family before catching up on retirement savings with regular investments. When you sell your current house, hopefully within a couple of years, you can invest any equity in that house.
CCLA says
I generally agree with this order of operations with two notes – (1) consider refinancing the student loans, interest rates are crazy low rights now and if you can get it down with First Republic or Sofi, you’ll get your monthly payments down and can prioritize other things without eating up all of that bonus amount; (2) I maxed retirement for years and years but we are in a VHCOL area with no family help for down payment, and in retrospect I wish I would have been a little less aggressive on the retirement to be able to get that first down payment sooner (note that you can have the best of both worlds to some extent though if your retirement is well funded and you can take a loan against it).
Clementine says
While logically, I know that our retirement has been averaging like a 7% return and my student loans were at a lower rate, I psychologically prefer to pay off debt.
From personal experience, when your income swings like that – be ready for the tax bill. I would put a chunk into savings in anticipation of increased taxes. Anything that happens beyond that, I would keep for the new house fund.
I would then split the remaining funds between retirement and student loans. This assumes your student loans have at least a 4% interest rate (they’re likely more like 6%). If your interest rate on student loans is particularly low, I would amend this advice to say put it in retirement.
OP says
Thanks for bringing up the tax point. If taxes are taken out of our paychecks, and will be taken out of the bonus — should we really expect to pay more when returns are due? About how much (maybe % wise) would you budget?
Realist says
Use the W4 worksheet for each of you (read the instructions carefully and use the dual income worksheets, or use the online tool from IRS mentioned in the instructions). Then compare your current withholding to what the worksheet says it should be for each of you. With some simple math, gap (yours plus his) will give you an idea of the amount you will be short. You can give new W4 forms to your employers to adjust withholding if the gap is big. If you are filing jointly, it doesn’t really matter who pays the taxes so you can just adjust withholding on 1 person if that is easier. I have my own business and my income comes in spurts with no tax withholding. Instead of making quarterly payments for taxes (like most self employed people) we just filled out a W4 for DH to have an extra $X of taxes withheld from each paycheck. That extra withholding amount covers my expected taxes. We file jointly so the IRS doesn’t care that it comes from his withholding versus me making my own tax payments.
Katala says
Yes, you should expect to pay more. Much more. The default withholding (unless you’ve used the worksheet carefully and adjusted withholding) is nowhere near enough for most dual income, high earner families.
I’d also think about your tax plan for next year. As partner, your DH will likely now have to pay self-employment taxes (he pays the employer portion of SS taxes so your liability goes up just from that) and no withholding. He’ll have to do quarterly estimated tax payments unless your withholding is enough to cover both. The first year you can rely on the rule that allows you to estimate based on your previous year’s tax bill so that will help but you will want to make sure you have a plan for paying that and enough cash on hand to send to the IRS if needed. Also as a partner benefits costs will go up (if you’re on his benefits) because there are some tax advantaged plans that can’t be offered to non-employees. Obviously check with your accountant, but this is the general idea for self-employed vs. employee.
Anonymous says
Yes if you don’t have an accountant now is the time to get one!
Clementine says
We had a different scenario but yes, we both were having taxes deducted from our paychecks AND from the ‘additional’ income, but the rate was not high enough to be sufficient.
After that first ‘shocker’ tax bill, we switched to an accountant and since then, if our income is going to swing, we call and ask them. They’re fantastic and well worth the $600 or so a year we pay them for tax prep (including setting us up for quarterly payments), particularly because they minimize marital discord.
Anonymous says
If you disagree on how to spend it, I’d probably have each of you decide how to spend half.
OP says
This is a really interesting point. I have so many questions about this thought, but mainly — this is a bonus coming entirely from his work, but we have fully combined finances, for better or worse. I don’t think saying 50% yours, 50% mine would be something he would buy. Am I being old-fashioned?
Anonymous says
If you have fully combined finances do the work to get on the same page. This is a huge influx of money for your family. It makes no sense to split it up and not be on the same page about a large sum.
SC says
If you can, I think it’s better to get on the same page, especially for such a large sum of money. But if you can’t, I don’t think spending half on each is the same as “50% yours, 50% mine.” It’s more like, “We agree that we have two acceptable options that will benefit our family in different ways, but we each have different priorities/rank in preferences. As a compromise, we’ll spend half of our money on option A, and half on option B.”
Anonymous says
I agree that even with combined finances it’s not yours to spend on a treat for yourself, but given that you both want to use it for the family and just have different ideas about how to prioritize it I don’t think it’s weird to say you get to prioritize half and he gets to prioritize half.
Anonymous says
First, if you don’t have an emergency fund equal to 6 months of expenses, I put it towards that. I tend favor retirement savings over debt, especially your kind of debt. So I’d put a signficiant chunk there and keep $5k-$10k in regular savings for one or more fun splurges down the road (like vacations again someday!). It sounds like you don’t really need to fund the down payment any further? You need 150k, have 50k, and have 100k in equity in current home. Is that 50k in savings for the down payment also your emergency fund? If so, see my first sentence.
OP says
OP here, this is a good list.
– $50K house savings is separate from the emergency fund, which is currently at 3 months’ expenses. We have discussed raising that to 4-6 months for now but that seems too conservative to me (and I’m fairly conservative when it comes to money).
– I made a comment above, but our target neighborhood has very short listing times so we would need to act fast, and $150K would be ~20%. Having cash at hand so we can put in a bid quickly would be ideal. The plan for this scenario would be to have proceeds from the sale of our current home to go straight to student loans.
Anonymous says
Yeah sure. It’s easy to say that now. No one wants to pay off debt. There’s always something more fun to do with your money. But you what’s great? Actually having a positive net worth because you don’t have 160k in unsecured debt.
TheElms says
3 months emergency fund with two kids is very low for an emergency fund. Depending on how we calculate expenses, we have 6-9 months of expenses assuming we both lost our jobs at the same time for only 1 kid and we are planning to grow that to 12 months.
hate student loans says
I’d get out of IBR now and start attacking those loans, sounds like he’ll payoff before forgiveness even if he stays on IBR due to income, and could re-fi to a better rate. Maybe put $25-50K in a high yield savings for that down payment.
I was on IBR for years, married filing separately to keep payments lower, but once I got a better job and our income rose my payment got high enough that we’d payoff before the forgiveness, and I hated all that interest accruing and also relying on the government to be my savior if ever I needed the forgiveness. Also, my DH had huge loans too, so we once we paid his off I re-financed to a lower rate and started attacking my loans. I graduated with $88K in 2011, which ballooned to $122K after 5 years of IBR (average was 6.5%). I re financed at $106K last May and just paid in full Monday. We’ve thrown all bonuses at student loans for 7 years of marriage, also snowballed other debt payments into the student loan payments, and now will start making a triple mortgage payment.
Anonymous says
How are your loans on IBR at this income level? And why? If you aren’t paying off your loans and saving for retirement you can’t afford to use this money on a down payment. And you don’t need to- between saving another couple years and selling your home, you have the down payment. I’d use 10% for fun, what ever percent you can add to tax beneficial retirement savings, and the rest to payoff loans, starting with the highest interest rate.
He’s making partner, does that mean he’s been practicing 10 years? Well past time to get loans way lower than 160k. And until you do, you can’t afford to upgrade your home.
OP says
Good questions. Our income has increased dramatically over the past two years due to changes in jobs (him, to a much better firm, and me, changing careers and then quick promotions). The house was a big, big stretch for us when purchased, and since then we’ve had two children. IBR was essential (and cutting back on retirement savings) for us leading up to that point. He made partner much more quickly than anticipated.
Anonymous says
Great. So now it’s time to play catch-up on retirement and loans, because you already put those off to buy a house. You can’t afford to do it again. A three bedroom house is sufficient for 2 or 3 kids. And once you’re in better shape on retirement and loans you’ll still be able to afford to upgrade the house in a year or two. Since his increased income can increase your savings rate.
Anon says
agree with this, though that is a small house! (as someone who lives in an 1350 sq foot, 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment with 2 kids). i also think that 3 months in an emergency fund is too low in normal times and particularly given the current state of the world. also – make sure you are in good shape with life and disability insurance
Anon says
I’m in the minority but I would kick some to the house fund. Mortgage interest is so low right now, that if you want to move I’d do it soon.
I’d probably rank retirement last…put some to loans, and some to down payment/savings. As your husband makes more money, and once you are settled in a more permanent house, ratchet up your retirement contributions then. (I’m thinking this is about a year down the road, and delaying a year shouldn’t make much of a difference, especially since the market is kind of at a peak right now and may drop soon)
Anon says
Further reasoning: You say you have enough for the down payment now, but with closing costs, purchases for the new home or to freshen up the current one, etc. you need to pad that by a lot. If you have money left over in your “house” bucket after all is said and done, you can put that toward retirement or to extend your emergency fund.
I guess it also depends on exactly how “behind” you are in retirement savings. A lot of these calculators are based on maintaining your current level of spending, but if you are high earners now and will have all debts paid off by the time you retire, you likely can get by with less than “they” say. As long as you are getting the match at work and saving a reasonable amount, I am a big proponent of enjoying yourself in the present, too. It sounds like a new house would improve your quality of life.
Anonymous says
Have you looked into refinancing your grad school loans? We got an amazing rate on my grad school debt with First Republic because they are very eager to win the business of couples with good earning potential, and we were also willing to pay off the debt quickly. We had to move our banking over to them as part of the deal, but I’ve actually found them to be pretty great (though we did not use them for our mortgage, Wells Fargo was just too cheap).
Eek says
As far as the house goes, do you really need 20% down? I’d be inclined to pay down the student loans and make a smaller down payment. If your income is going to be increasing, you can pay down the mortgage to get rid of the PMI later.
Play/crafts room says
I’d like to turn a room in my attic into a toddler crafts/play room. My 18 month old is home with a nanny all day and has the run of the downstairs and her bedroom for play. Despite pre-baby conviction that we would not let a baby change our household decor, we now have a full on play kitchen in our living room. I’m resigned to baby stuff everywhere but I’d like to make a space for the messy stuff. (Side note – why do the washable crayons actually draw so much better on the couch than the regular ones, lol). We have a walk-up attic with a small room where I’d like crayons, paint, stickers, etc. to live. We have a kid table and chair to put up there. The floors are hard wood so I’d like to cover (mostly for noise reduction). Should I buy a cheap rug? Foam gym floor squares? Also thinking of getting a futon. Any recommendations or other ideas? TIA!
Anon says
We used the tiles from Flor to cover a similar playroom area. They’re easy to spot clean and switch out a tile if the mess is unsave-able. (Aka homemade slime gets ground into the floor, ask me how I know).
In addition to the table and chairs, I’d include one or two of those cube storage shelves with a bunch of bins to corral all the toys and craft supplies. And a bookshelf to hold bigger items and books. If you have grandparents who like to give a “big gift” you could ask for an easel. Depending on the walls, painting a whole side in magnetic chalkboard paint would be fun too – could be a place to hang artwork as well as a drawing area.
A futon or a daybed would be good, or as the kid gets older you could create a reading nook with beanbags and a pile of pillows under a netted canopy. I’d probably go with bean bags now, so it’ll nicely switch to a video game/ hangout type of room as the kid ages into having friends over.
Anonanonanon says
That’s an excellent point re: switching out just one tile if something happens. I don’t have a space where I’d need these right now, but I hadn’t ever thought of that. I’m definitely going to file that away
Anonymous says
Note that as kid gets a little older, may not be very logistically feasible to use things like crayons only up in the attic. For example with my older child art supplies were not accessible without adult assistance by design. But at a certain age they just go get them and they want to be where you are. Then with younger child, he obviously can access the supplies that are out for the 5 year old. They mostly draw while we are cooking, etc. this is only to say if the only reason to spend money on the attic room is to keep messy art stuff there, you may be looking at different needs/interests in a couple years.
Anonymous says
I agree with this and would add that I notice that kids just don’t like to be relegated to a separate room, especially if it’s far away from parents. Having kid stuff around is just part of having kids. I have a small table but this year threw up my hands and our 3.5yp does all coloring and play dough at the kitchen table.
Anonanonanon says
Agree that kids don’t like to be relegated, but when you have a nanny in the house it’s nice to have a space for them to use part of the day that is child-centric, especially if you’re also teleworking in the house and want to be able to emerge for coffee/snack/bathroom etc.
SC says
I was going to comment along the same lines. When we moved into our new house, we relegated Kiddo’s play space to a sun room at the back of the house. Within a few weeks, there were toys and art supplies and everything else in every single room. We changed strategies and reorganized our entire house so that kid stuff can be in the kitchen and living room. I converted the sun room from a play room to an adult living room, and we converted the dining room to a home office. I’m so much happier having spaces that are “mine” or at least “adult,” but I’ve accepted that I can’t keep the main family areas looking like only adults live there.
All that to say, OP, I’d consider making the attic room a craft area, reading nook, home office, or whatever retreat you might need from the rest of the house.
rosie says
I don’t know if your attic space is large enough, but we did a gross motor playroom in our walk-up attic space. I recommend a foam mat instead of the tiles. Toys are things like building/climbing stuff, floor puzzles, balance beam. For us, it makes more sense to have art stuff downstairs so she can use it semi-independently while I’m making dinner, for example. We figured that the gross motor toys have a bigger potential to take over everything and we want to have good indoor options as the weather gets colder.
Anonymous says
This is a frivolous question but what are your favorite swaddles? Especially for a winter baby. There are a LOT out there now, even of the basic muslin/tie yourself kinds and I’m getting stuck between Aden and Anais (some reviews say quality is down), Little Unicorn, Copper Pearl, Lou Lou, etc. I did get some of the Velcro Swaddle Me’s and a Love to Dream to try, but want to get some of the traditional kinds too. Also did you need a lot of blankets for a winter baby? Obv not for sleeping but for other things?
Anon says
We liked Halo velcro ones. We never really used blankets with an infant but we didn’t leave the house the first winter (February baby and didn’t want to go anywhere until she had her 2 month vaccines).
Anonymous says
The only swaddle worth anything for my kids beyond the first month or so are the Miracle Swaddles. They wrap around a few times so are fairly warm too, although with a sleeper and indoor temp control I don’t know that winter vs summer matters that much.
anon says
We had a few fleece blankets to use in the car or to put on the floor for playtime, but you really don’t need more than you would for a spring/summer baby (it’s all about fabric choice). For swaddles, I really liked the miracle blanket and the swaddle me, because I am terrible at swaddling. My DH, on the other hand, was a ninja with the Aden and Anais blankets.
Cb says
I really liked the traditional muslin ones, they didn’t work for long for swaddling but I still use them to throw in my backpack as a picnic blanket, sun shield, stuffed animal trapeze, sling for pretend injuries.
AnonATL says
We are transitioning out of swaddles now. For the first month, my son was in the Velcro swaddle me from target. Cheap and easy to use.
He got too long for it, and we are using the classic cotton Halo swaddle now. It’s nice because we started him with both arms in and have been working on Unswaddling one at a time. They make a fleece one we will likely purchase for this winter because we keep the house cold.
My kid is super squirmy and busted out of any blanket swaddles, so we are team Velcro. Only downside to Velcro is undoing it is pretty loud and can wake him up a bit at night.
AnonATL says
I have heard really good things about the copper pearl ones if you do want to go a traditional route. They are supposed to be nice and stretchy and good for bigger babies
NYCer says
We only used the Swaddle Me velcro style for actual swaddling. We used the Aden and Anais muslin swaddles just as blankets all the time though (as a cover in stroller, at the doctor, etc.).
Pogo says
+1 our strategy as well.
Anon says
I liked the A and A muslin blankets for swaddling because even for a winter baby, I am assuming your house is (relatively) close to the same temperature year-round. They also work great for burp clothes and are big enough for toddlers, so we got a lot of use out of them. We are in a car-centric area, so we never needed more than one or two heavier fleece blankets to throw over the stroller and frankly, most of the time we used the “shower cap” style bunting for the car seat, which was plenty warm. For sleeping, I liked the Halo velcro sleepsack swaddle things, but for daytime we just swaddled with a muslin blanket.
Anon says
we used the actual swaddles for sleeping, but found swaddle blankets a pain in the neck compared to the premade ones. once we had to stop swaddling, we switched to Halo sleep sacks. in terms of all the other blankets we received – we almost never used any of them. we live in the south where it is fairly warm a lot of the time, i also had twins and have i think 6 blankets per child, and mostly we put them on a chair for decor and they served no practical purpose
New Here says
Had my daughter at the end of December 2019. Our favorite swaddles were the Halo ones. Once she hit 8 weeks, we switched to Halo Sleep Sacks. We live the the SEUS and while it gets cold, it isn’t frigid in the winter. I would put her in footed PJs and the sleep sack (Cotton, not fleece) and she was fine (I was terrified of her overheating). FWIW, I love our Little Unicorn sleep sack for warmer weather!
We received a TON of swaddle blankets. We use them to play peek-a-boo, or in the stroller. We didn’t get out much when it was cold, but when we did, she had a thick, fuzzy PBKids stroller blanket with her name on it we used.
Anon says
My baby can wriggle out of just about any swaddle, but we generally found that the A and A Velcro swaddles and then Sleepea (made by Happiest Baby) worked well.
anon says
Here’s a random blanket question. My kids are ages 6 and 10 — in other words, they have long outgrown their baby blankets! We have SO MANY baby blankets that we received as gifts and are still taking up space in their closets. Daughter needs only a couple of blankets for her dolls; the rest just fall off shelves and become another mess to clean up. Because the blankets were gifts and many of them handmade, I don’t want to get rid of them entirely. This is one of the few things that I feel sentimental about and would like to keep. What’s the best way to store them for the long term so the fabric doesn’t get gross or degrade? Some are flannel, others are hand-knit pieces.
Anonymous says
I use them as padding to wrap keepsakes for storage.
anon says
That’s a good idea. I can see doing that with the flannel ones.
Anonanonanon says
This is what I was thinking, as well. Surely there’s a way to cut the knit ones into squares that can be finished on the edges with a fabric backing? Not by you, by a professional.
Anonymous says
I knit and quilt, and I would never ever try to cut up a hand-knit item and put even a small piece of it into a quilt, let alone make a quilt entirely out of hand-knit items. The knit pieces would stretch out of shape and ravel while you were trying to finish off the cut edges. The texture would make it next to impossible to fix the knits to a stabilizer so they could be sewn into a quilt top, and the whole thing would weigh too much.
Anonanonanon says
Ah, noted!
cb says
My mom kept mine in the linen closet (with cedar balls) and in her cedar hope chest and they are in perfect condition (currently using mine for my son)
Anonymous says
We are also going to be facing this problem! The real issue is what to do with the knit ones. My mom very proudly gifted me all these knit pieces that I didn’t want that she saved from when I was a baby (along with tons of other sentimental crap I then had to figure out what to do with), but it feels so callous to get rid of these nice knit items that relatives have made for us.
Anon says
could you have them made into one larger blanket – kind of like those tshirt blankets?
Anonymous says
In our family, unwanted handmade items get passed along to other family members who have babies. Which means that since we’re the youngest, we got stuck with a lot of it until our nieces and nephews started having their own kids.
Anonymous says
I wonder if a dry cleaner could help with this? Like how you can take a wedding dress in to be cleaned and stored properly. Maybe they can do the same for these types of items?
anon. says
We kept two handmade blankets. The rest were donated. I live in the SEUS and they all went to hurricane evacuees with babies -and I honestly feel good about that and haven’t missed them since donating. Could you bring them to a woman’s shelter? Or donate to a foster child agency to go to new parents or relatives taking in babies? (I am not on FB but my husband is on a local facebook parent group that gets requests for specific foster kid age ranges all the time, so you may check there.)
anon says
I like this idea a lot!
Redux says
We keep a couple of blankets in each car and they get a lot of use, especially in the winter. Wont take care of the entire stack, but helps keep a few in rotation rather than boxed up.
Sleep training says
I could use some advice about sleep training. My baby is 4 months old and typically gets up between 1 and 3am each night. One wake up. Sometimes I can ignore him and he’ll fall back asleep after some chatting. Other times, he only settles after a feed. But he has mild reflux so that 10 minute feed is really almost an hour because he has to be held up for a while. He rarely cries, just grunts and talks. He can do that for an hour until someone goes into his room. Or he will fall asleep. Which makes me think he doesn’t really need to eat at night. The methods I’ve seen are CIO, but he doesn’t cry much. He’s EBF and around 40th percentile. The doctor gave us the ok to sleep train. I have a 2.5 year old who slept for 12 hours at night starting at 8 weeks without any effort from me. But now the kids’ rooms are next to each other and I’m not sure how that plays into sleep training. I don’t want the toddler woken up. So basically I just don’t know what method to use or where to start.
Anonymous says
Your 2.5 year old was an unusually good sleeper. Sleeping through the night is considered 6 hours of continuous sleep. Babies, especially BF babies, need to eat at least once at night for up to 9 months. If baby is waking up only once in 12 hours, he’s probably hungry and you need to feed him. Try a dream feed before you go to bed at like 12am so that you can try and get the 6 hours between 12am-6am.
Boston Legal Eagle says
+1 on dream feed. I did a dream feed with my second at around 9:30/10, and it helped him to sleep until the morning without getting up again. But my kids were both unusually good sleepers starting early on so agree with everyone that 1 wake up is a good sleeper for this age!
Anonymous says
Adding that just because baby is BF doesn’t mean you physically need to get out of bed every night to feed. On the nights it was DH’s turn, he got up and brought me baby to nurse sidelying in bed. After I was done nursing, he brought baby back. I basically just lifted my eye mask when I had to latch baby. Made it much easier to fall back asleep.
Anon says
so normally i am not one for facebook groups, but there is a helpful facebook group called respectful sleep training/learning that is helpful and describes different methods. i have twins, one who had reflux. one twin slept through the night by 9/10 weeks despite being born a month early, while the other was more like 5.5 months, waking up once in the night for a feed. honestly, i don’t think you need to do anything differently than what you are currently doing. give it another week or two and see if he grows out of this on his own
Anonymous says
I don’t think that you should sleep train a 4 month old who is waking up once. I think you should thank your lucky stars he is a good sleeper and get up and feed him.
CCLA says
I don’t agree with this. Yes, one wake up at 4 months is great, but if OP is comfortable with sleep training, and it sounds like she is and that pedi is even on board, I’d do it. Getting up 0x a night vs 1x can make a big difference for parental sanity.
Anon says
I agree. I’d leave well enough alone at this age.
Anonymous says
I think most parents would kill for a 4 month old that only wakes up once at night. I’d just go in and feed him. Your older child was an anomaly.
AnotherAnon says
Just to echo what others have said: I think of sleep training as teaching your baby to fall asleep on his own, not dropping a night feed. Maybe ask your ped if s/he’s ok with you dropping your baby’s only night feed? I’ll be surprised if your ped agrees to this. The dream feed is also a good idea to make your life easier but, gently, you’ve had a pretty easy time of it wrt sleep – you might just have to suck it up for 5 months and do a night feed. I exclusively formula fed and I could prep and bottle feed in my sleep by the end. I didn’t enjoy the sleep interruption, but it was a sweet bonding time with my kiddo (now 3.5) that I sort of miss.
NYCer says
As a counterpoint, we dropped night feeds by 3 months. My pediatrician was completely fine with it. Baby was sleeping ~11 hours per night starting around 12 weeks.
Anon says
If your baby is laying in his crib and not crying and eventually falling back to sleep on his own, what are you hoping to change? It’s unrealistic to expect a baby not to wake up at all (we all wake up during the night); the objective of sleep training is to get a baby to do just what your son is doing: fall back to sleep on his own. I know it’s annoying to be woken up by monitor noises, but I don’t think that can’t be helped. (Also echoing it’s common – expected, really – for a baby to sometimes need a snack at night at that age on those nights he does cry.)
Sleep training says
Thanks for the feedback everyone. You’re all right that I was exceptionally lucky the first time so I’m really struggling with the wake ups now. I’m just horrible with the night wake ups. I can’t get back to sleep after 3am and am a zombie during the day, while dealing with a toddler and baby and a WFH husband. I’m going back to work next month (biglaw, in the office) and was really hoping to at least resolve the sleep by then. But sounds like that’s not realistic and I’ll just have to deal.
Anon says
this is so hard to remember when you are in the thick of it, but a lot can change in a month! maybe baby will be sleeping through the night by then. also- can DH do some of the wake ups. even when i was on maternity leave, I did weekdays and DH did weekends so I could get some good nights of sleep. also, you say you cannot get back to sleep at 3am – perhaps you already aren’t, but do not look at your phone. when we still had mid night wakeups and i looked at my phone i coudl never fall back asleep
Anon. says
+1 to things could change SOOO much in a month at this stage. At four months, I had a terrible, horrible no good very bad sleeper. By 6 months she was not too bad and now at 9 months she’s a dream.
As for your question about how the toddler next door will handle baby sleep training – probably way better than you expect. We still have white noise playing in our 3yo room and you cannot hear the baby screaming next door when it’s on. I was surprised to realize this one night after being in big kid’s room one night when baby woke up. You could hear baby screaming downstairs in the living room, but nothing over the white noise in the bedroom next door. So, I wouldn’t worry about waking the toddler too much.
Other advice, if you haven’t already – move baby to the nursery and turn the volume down on the monitor. You want to hear the yells in the middle of the night, you don’t need to hear the talking to himself. And give yourself emotional permission to go back to sleep if the baby is contentedly playing alone in crib at 3 AM. Baby will tell you if you’re needed.
AwayEmily says
I agree with CCLA above. A 4-month old is perfectly capable of sleeping through the night without eating and your pediatrician is fine with it so I see absolutely no reason not to go ahead with sleep training. Just don’t go in for a few nights and I bet he’ll be sleeping through without wakeups within a week. FWIW we sleep trained both our kids (with our pediatrician’s approval) at 9 weeks, and both were sleeping ~12 hours without eating by 10 weeks. I’m sure some babies need to eat at night for quite awhile but mine did not, and it sounds like yours don’t either. Babies are different! Yay for sleep training!
Ifiknew says
I think it’s totally okay to sleep train. Taking Cara babies is the course I recommend and so many people here recommended it to me. She recommend starting at 5 months. I was at my wits because both my kids woke up every 1 to 3 hours starting at 4 months and they ended up waking up once in the early am after sleep training.
AnonATL says
I have no advice about sleep training, other than the Ferber method I’ve heard about so much on here, but can your husband take some feeds? Maybe alternate days so you are each getting a full nights sleep most of the week?
We premake our bottles for our middle of the night feed, so we just have to pop down to the fridge and back upstairs to feed. The other person can usually snooze through it in our house.
Or try giving an ounce more at bedtime to see if that helps stretch your sleep? Dream feeds don’t work for my baby. If he’s out, he’s out.
I struggled with the 3/4am feed for a while too, but like others have said do not pull out your phone! Keep it dark. If I’m really having a hard time falling back asleep, I count my deep breaths and that usually knocks me out fast.
Anonymous says
I would try a dreamfeed right before you go to bed (or an hour before if that is necessary). I would also wait until he is actually crying to feed him. Presumably he will eventually either cry or go back to sleep. I wouldn’t worry about the grunting waking the sibling. I would turn down the volume of the monitor so you can still hear crying.
Just because other people have it worse doesn’t mean you have to suffer.
Sleep training says
Thanks again everyone. Some follow up, I did try dream feeding a few times last week. It was a failure. When my baby is out, he’s out. Would barely latch and ended up waking up again an hour later. Seemed to have screwed up his rhythm for the worse, not better. Also he doesn’t really take bottles. Yes, we’re desperately working on it. We’ve tried 5 brands and seem to have found one this week that he’s taken a few times with some fussing. But wouldn’t I still need to get up and pump if I have my husband feed at night? And also, my husband does get up every night. Bless him, he sees that I just need more sleep than he does to function. Even though he’s working and I’m not. So most nights I will feed and then my husband holds the baby up for 30 minutes and gets him back down. My guilt about this is another reason I wanted to sleep train. Lots to think about.
SC says
Everyone’s experience is different, but mine was that if DH did a bottle feed in the middle of the night, I did not have to get up and pump at the same time. When I woke up with Baby in the morning, I nursed, then pumped until empty. About half of the pumped milk went into a bottle for the next night, and I was able to freeze the other half for when I returned to work. (My son was a preemie, so we didn’t have the pediatrician’s blessing to drop the night feeding until later than most.)
Anonymous says
Do not have guilt about that. You are both parents and you are both dealing with nighttime wakeups – you by feeding baby and him by settling baby. Your sleep is important for about ability to make milk as well.
MNF says
I agree with the comment above – what does sleep training mean to you? it sounds like he is putting himself to sleep. With that said, at four months old, my baby went to sleep at 9, got a dream feed at 10:30-11 and slept until 7. Would a dream feed work for reflux since they eat so much more slowly? Check out Dr. Michel Cohen for backup that your baby doesn’t need to eat at night. (Bought his book after reading Bringing up Bebe). Also, if you’re in a small house like mine – maybe just turn off the monitor.
For the Diastisis Recti poster yesterday says
Are you also wearing a splint? I did the Tupler technique, which includes wearing a splint 24/7 other than when showering, daily exercises, and being very careful about not accidentally “blowing out” your separation when moving about. I was not 100% compliant with the exercises (the frequency/volume escalates to a pretty high level), but my 2-3 finger separation healed significantly within a few months.