Family Friday: A Medium-Sized Jigsaw Puzzle

a 60 piece jigsaw puzzle -- perfect for my 6 year old!Happy Friday, ladies! May everyone have a lovely Labor Day weekend. For today’s family pick, we’re doing a puzzle from Melissa and Doug — I actually got this exact one for my son. Here’s what I’ve noticed about puzzles: they either have 3-12 pieces, or they have 500-1000. I went on a hunt to find a medium sized puzzle, and found a few from Melissa and Doug with 60-100 pieces; this turns out to be the perfect size for my 6 year old’s attention span for puzzles. (This probably varies widely based on kid; one friend’s child was doing 1000-piece puzzles when he was three, but neither of my boys are really into them.) This one is $6 at Amazon. Melissa & Doug 60 Piece Land of Dinosaurs Jigsaw Puzzle

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  1. EB0220 says:

    My 5 year old likes these, too. Good pick!

  2. Two Cents says:

    Ideas on weaning my 2.5 year old from his thumb? My son never sucks this thumb when he’s awake and running around, but does so as he is falling asleep (he then removes his thumb once he actually falls asleep, so anywhere from 10 – 30 minutes later). I know that sucking one’s thumb can detrimentally impact teeth. Is this something I should be concerned about? Advice on getting him to stop? He already has a lovey that he needs for bed, he clutches that AND sucks his thumb to sleep.

    • Spirograph says:

      I’m not saying you’re wrong to be concerned, but this is a battle I have not picked with my 4 year old son, who still sucks his thumb when he’s really tired or overwhelmed, maybe 10-30 minutes on an average day. His teachers discourage it at preschool, and I expect peer pressure will take care of the rest in the next year or two. I’m not overly concerned that occasional thumb will ruin his palate, and when he gets to the point where he “needs” his thumb, I am much happier if he uses it to calm himself down. Yeah he needs other coping mechanisms eventually, but right now this makes my life easier! I know my pediatric dentist has little brochures with advice on stopping thumb-sucking, so maybe your dentist would be a good resource for ideas?

    • Anon in NYC says:

      My kid is a thumb sucker, so no advice on getting him to stop. But we took her to the dentist shortly after her second birthday and he said that it is only really an “issue” after about 3 years. Of course, our kid is going to need braces regardless (sorry kiddo!), so I’m honestly not that concerned about it. She also only sucks her thumb when she’s needs comforting and when she’s going to sleep, so it’s not a constant thing.

    • Anonymous says:

      We didn’t worry about it until started to lose teeth and permanent teeth were coming in. To prevent reinsertion of the thumb while asleep, we put a sock over his hand inside his pyjamas for a few days.

    • Strategy mom says:

      I don’t think its a big deal if it’s just at night vs all day! My son does the same thing and I think we’re ok waiting for him to stop doing it on his own.

  3. Espanol says:

    Can any folks speak to how effective Spanish-immersion preschool is or is not?
    We are considering sending daughter from 2 years old to kindergarten. However, it is worth the extra money (reasonable, but it still adds up), and the extra 10-15 min out of my way from the office?
    For reference, we do not speak Spanish at home, however we do use basic vocabulary like agua, perro, etc. And we own a shelf of English/Spanish books (i.e. Good Night Moon/Buenas Noche Luna).

    • Anonymous says:

      My daughter started at a full day Mandarin immersion preschool about 3 months ago. The other preschool that is equally convenient to our house and also full-day is about ~$500 less per month (we’re on a waiting list). We don’t speak Mandarin at home. Her teacher tells me that she has made great progress in those 3 months and understands a lot (can follow directions) but doesn’t usually volunteer the Mandarin word for something. She never uses Mandarin with us (as far as I can tell at least).

      I think it’s cool that she’s learning this, but I’m not sure how much it is really worth it if we’re not going to continue with Mandarin instruction as she gets older. I mean, we might, but also maybe not. It’s a little frustrating because me and my husband can’t really support her in this endeavor by speaking Mandarin (although we have Mandarin speaking relatives, so we’re hoping that that can help a bit). The $500 more per month than a regular preschool is a meaningful amount of money to us, so I think we’re taking a bit of a wait and see perspective (and if we even get in off the waiting list for the other preschool).

      • Espanol says:

        In my day-dreaming scenario, I have a fluent Spanish speaking child because of daycare (though admittedly perhaps not literate in Spanish) who then goes to the dual-immersion Mandarin school in our district. Then she is tri-lingual.
        We’re in Los Angeles, so Spanish is very common, and in our area Mandarin is also. As a family we’re more apt to pickup Spanish than Mandarin, however I’ve heard that siblings can reinforce with one another. No sibling on the horizon, though…

    • 23 Weeks says:

      My 3yo has been in a Spanish bilingual program for the last year. I can’t really speak to the longevity of his spanish abilities, but the teachers say he has picked up a ton. He doesn’t speak a lot of spanish with us — neither of us speak a lot of spanish, either! We do have fun asking google what some spanish words are (“Mommy, ask google what “bulldozer” is in spainsh!”)

      We plan to keep him in this program until kindergarten, too, and I’m not honestly sure what to expect in terms of fluency at the end of his 3 years there. It is bilingual, not immersion (there are some floating teachers who speak very little spanish, but most of them are fluent in spanish… and moderately fluent in english), and I don’t know if we will be continuing into the spanish elementary school or going somewhere closer.

      Can you talk to your immersion program about what they expect of their 5-year olds entering kindergarten? How fluent is an average child?

    • Anonymous says:

      No personal experience, but my decision would depend on whether there was a Spanish immersion elementary school option. If not, I don’t see the long term benefits. I’ve known numerous people who spoke a foreign language at a young age (up to about 10), and then forgot it because they didn’t continue using the language.

  4. Pumping on a plane – give me all your tips!

    Flying for pleasure (as opposed to business), but without baby.

    I have a hands free pumping bra which I plan to wear (as opposed to putting it on just for pumping like I normally do), battery pack, freezeable Packit bag, and the quick clean wipes. Planning to just wear a nursing shirt and do it at my seat (esp if I upgrade to a seat with an outlet – is that worth it?). Bathroom seems gross.

    • Anonymous says:

      No advice but please report back on your experience! How long is your flight? I would love to hear how it goes.

    • NOVA Anon says:

      I’ve done this! Great idea on wearing your hands-free bra. Here are my other tips:

      Try to get an aisle seat; you’ll need some extra room to maneuver your arms that you may not otherwise have in a middle or window, but I have done this even in a middle seat. Try to wait until a point when captain has turned off seat belt sign, or flight is otherwise smooth; otherwise spillage may be an issue. Bring extra clothes in case of unexpected turbulence (or clumsiness….).

      Put on your nursing cover. Then, set up the bottles to the extent you can under the cover (I try to be all cool about it but it always helps me, mentally, to try to maintain some amount of secrecy). Pump as normal, and then take the bottles off (carefully!) under the cover too. I generally would use the tray table to help when I was trying to get tops on bottles, and I would just drape the cover over the tray table to try to keep things discrete (but didn’t always succeed…eventually, your seat mates or the people behind you will see what you’re doing…I tried to own it.) I would also pull down the tray table before I started, and use a lysol wipe (I kept a pack in my nursing bag) to wipe it off.

      I did a lot of pumping and traveling, for business and pleasure, and my other necessities in my bag aside from what you’ve mentioned were a surgical mask (I pumped in some bathrooms; helps with the smell), lots and lots of plastic bags for storing dirty and clean parts and getting ice after going through security, milk storage bags for long trips and a sharpie, and the Madela cooler.

      You got this!

    • Rainbow Hair says:

      I pumped in the bathrooms. My technique was to try to go right at the beginning of the flight, in the first class bathroom because it gets less traffic. (It’s still gross, but IDK, it’s part of the deal.) When I got on the plane I would flag down a flight attendant and tell her that I was going to be “pumping milk for my baby” (sometimes people just don’t get it unless you’re explicit) in the bathroom — I’d smile and say “I didn’t want you to worry if I’m in there a little long!” Then as soon as practicable (sometimes before the seatbelt light was off), I’d try to catch her eye and indicate I was going to go — I’d grab my stuff and go to the bathroom. I flipped down the change table and wiped it down with wipes I had brought, laid down paper towels, then set up on that. There’s an outlet in the bathroom, so I plugged in and pumped kind of leaning over the change table. I brought my kindle because pumping is boring. When I was done everything went in a bag with an ice pack.

      Sending you good vibes. Pumping while traveling was stressful, but it can be done!

    • Thanks! It’s a four hour flight, so luckily only need to pump once. It’s JetBlue, so no first class, but I think their “even more space” seats have outlets so that’s why I’d consider upgrading (also, depending on the route I find those seats tend to be pretty empty so day of if there’s an open row I’ll go for it). I have an aisle seat now near the galley in case I can persuade the crew to let me pump there.

      I’m going for three nights, so I’ll be bringing home a metric f*ckton of milk, so I’m mostly doing bags as they take up less space. I’ve actually brought freezer packs thru security before and never had an issue as long as they were actually frozen.

      I’m kinda happy to be doing this first trip not for business so I can figure things out without male colleagues on the same flight to like, Amsterdam or something. Ugh. Not looking forward to those days.

  5. Legally Brunette says:

    I just got around to reading the post from a few weeks ago about healthy school lunches, and several of you said you give cubed tofu for lunch. Any good recipes? I highly doubt my kids will eat it plain, but they will (sometimes) eat it with a marinade. Would love ideas!

    • ElisaR says:

      yes please – i bought the tofu and it’s sitting in my fridge!

    • Anonymous says:

      I was one of the people who serves this. Plain is how my kids like it, but they are weird and don’t like most dipping sauces. We get the extra-firm and just cube it after trying to squoosh out all the water.

    • grey falcon says:

      Crush up crackers + add any desired spices. Place in ziploc/tupperware with mostly dry cubed tofu and shake. Voila: instant texture and flavor.

  6. Anon football widow says:

    I need to vent here so I don’t take it out on my DH. Starting this weekend, DH will be working most Friday nights and long Saturdays for the next three months. Then he’s so worn down from a full work week + weekend, that he needs at least Sunday morning to recover. Which, you guessed it — means lots of solo parenting with two kids. This has been our fall schedule for literally years and it has not gotten easier as the kids get older. Being ‘on’ all the time is exhausting and this introvert gets zero time alone unless I park my kids in front of a screen and pray that they don’t need me for something. Or someone takes mercy on me and invites my oldest for a play date. All the house stuff, grocery shopping, you name it, falls to me. This whole week I’ve had terrible anxiety because I KNOW how hard the next few months are going to be. This is the nature of my DH’s work, it isn’t going to change, and I’ve let him know many times how much I hate it and resent it. So he feels guilty, too, and neither of us is happy. He tries his best to relieve the burden from me and give me a break right before a long weekend, but it’s not enough. I feel so bad for struggling with the demands of solo parenting. What kind of mom does that make me? I love my kids, and I love being with my kids, but doing nearly full weekends alone after working full-time during the week is my tipping point. I even find myself getting more frustrated with my oldest kid because it seems like he should be less needy while I deal with the toddler, which I realize is completely unfair and crappy of me. DH has been able to negotiate some comp time/flex time during the week to take care of things at home (this is a new thing), but that doesn’t help me during the moment, you know?

    • Anon in NYC says:

      That sucks. Can you afford to pay for a regular sitter or pay for certain luxuries (like online grocery shopping or grocery delivery) that you don’t normally do? Do you have family nearby that can regularly take at least one of the kids for a couple of hours?

      You are not a bad mom for being exhausted and burnt out after working full time plus managing 2 kids by yourself for 1.5 days. I’ve been solo parenting this week and literally have only seen my kid in the mornings and evenings and I want SO MANY DRINKS tonight.

    • POSITA says:

      This sounds like it sucks. I’m sorry. I would do your best to relax standards and just muddle through. I always have trouble keeping us occupied without another adult around. Time just drags. Just thinking about strategies:

      Without a second thought, I would declare Friday night to be movie night and plop everyone in front of a movie with pizza.

      I find I do better if I have other parents over with kids for play dates. Perhaps you can do errands on Saturday morning when kids are fresh and an exhausting activity like swimming or a bike ride, come home for lunch and quiet/nap time, and then have friends over for a playdate in the late afternoon/evening? The other kids then will help occupy yours and you can have some adult conversation.

      Sunday morning I’d hit a coffee shop for my favorite beverage and take the kids to a park to run around. There is always less mess when they’re not in the house. Whenever your DH pulls himself together (late morning?) starts “Dad time” and you get a break. Everyone has family dinner on Sunday night with Dad cooking.

    • Anonanonanon says:

      Advice from my single mom days:

      Definitely look in to grocery delivery. It suonds like a luxury but there’s so much competition now (depending on where you live) and a lot of good introductory specials ($20 off your first order, etc.) that it really isn’t that much more expensive. Plus, you don’t have the impulse buys since you’re not in the store, so that helps!

      Early bedtime for the kids. They don’t have to go right to sleep, but they can’t leave their room. Maybe they can wind down with an audiobook they turn down themselves when tehy fall asleep or something. My son is 7 and his bedtime is still 7:30 because I just Also, he gets grumpy when he’s not well-rested

      Afternoon quiet time on Saturdays? Again, maybe audiobooks in their room, etc. My 7 year old is really digging audiobooks right now. I don’t even make him pick “good” books. If it’s something like goosebumps I’ll get the audiobook but get him the paperback so he can follow along. He likes that more than just reading.

      Maximize your lunch break if possible. Lunch break is when I do school supply shopping, pick up those 2 or 3 things we need from the store (those days i’ll keep a cooler with ice packs in my trunk, or shamelessly throw a gallon of milk in the office fridge).

      Friday Night movie night. Watch a movie with your kids, cook a frozen pizza, give yourself (and them) a break.

      Also, don’t be afraid to lower your standards a bit. One person can’t do a job as well as two, it just can’t happen. and that’s OK! Give yourself some slack!

      • Anonanonanon says:

        Also, I used to get frustrated when people advised throwing money at a problem because I didn’t have money to throw, but even if you can get someone to come do $80 of cleaning every two weeks, maybe consider it. Sometimes it’s worth it just for the feeling of coming home after work to a house that’s cleaner than you left it. If money’s an issue, maybe you can find someone who’s willing to just do the bathrooms and vacuum the stairs, for example. Then you at least don’t have to scrub toilets during your downtime.

      • Clementine says:

        TOTALLY +1 to Lower your standards.

        Maybe that means your kid watches Elmo so you can take a shower without anyone screaming at you. Maybe that means you eat breakfast for dinner. It’s fine. Your kid will be fine.

      • Anon football widow says:

        I have gotten better about trying to rest when my toddler is napping. The problem is keeping the 7-year-old occupied. ;) But, I really like your suggestion about audiobooks. I could see him getting into that. You’re also right that an earlier bedtime, at least on the roughest days, would help.

    • Clementine says:

      Hi. This is hard. Because of my husband’s work I am a 100% solo parent half the year (2-3 months at a time). Here are a few things that help me keep my sanity.

      – Take breaks. Whether it means screen time or getting a sitter, you need breaks. I take personal days/half days while my kid is in daycare and just take a break. I become a regular gym goer because my gym has child care, so I plop my kid in the playroom (a treat for him! fun kids! new toys!) and go watch HGTV on the elliptical for an hour.

      -Keep a routine. I grocery shop Saturday mornings at 8AM, then we walk the dog, then we go to the gym, then lunch and nap.

      -Have defaults available. When everyone is exhausted and I need to feed my kid something, he gets one of the two ‘default’ meals available (frozen whole grain waffle with peanut butter and banana or pasta with TJ’s meatless meatballs. I keep two ’emergency’ outfits that are all ready to go on hangers in the front of my closet that make me feel good and require 0 thought.

      -Ask for help. This is the hardest for me. Do you have family or friends nearby who you can ask to take a kid for a day? I’m honest with my BFF and she takes my kid for playdates when husband is at work. I am later able to reciprocate by taking her kid for date nights.

      -Vent when you need to! Seriously! Page me on here if you ever need a solo mom pep talk.

      • Anon football widow says:

        Major props to you for solo parenting! You are absolutely right that I need breaks, and I’m thinking a trip to the YMCA during the owliest part of the day might help. Kids can blow off steam in child watch/get a change of scenery, and I can get in a run. Or just sit in the hot tub. Whatever.

        The help part is hard. We don’t have a ton of family around that is available to help, and I am really bad at asking my friends because they’re busy with their own lives and kids.

        Appreciate the pep talk, as you seem to have it nailed!

    • Anonymous says:

      Split Sunday mornings. You’re basically solo parenting on Saturdays so you need recovery time too. One week he’s ‘off’ until 10am and you’re ‘off’ 10am – noon. Family time in the afternoons. Following week you can alternate (unless you prefer being ‘off’ later. Book an exercise class or brunch with friends so he’s not fudging on whatever time you get off if you’re still in the house).

    • I second one night being pizza and movie night! It’s lowering standards + establishing a fun tradition. Saturday might be even better because you’ll have been with the kids all day.

      During the week, have whoever cooks make a double batch of one meal and freeze half for the weekend.

      Can you give your older kid more responsibility (even supervised responsibility)? Make him your grocery shopping helper, your kitchen helper, etc. That gives you the opportunity to get things done while giving your older kid attention (doing it together) and praise for his helpfulness. Your toddler may be able to help with some things too–mine loves doing laundry.

      Reach out for play dates! Hire babysitters. Look at opportunities for childcare (Mom’s Night Out at the Y, a gym or studio with childcare, etc.). I understand your husband needing to rest on his one day off, but I think he should take the kids for a couple of hours–maybe each of you do one “shift” solo + schedule some family time.

    • Anonymous says:

      I say outsource, even if its just for 3 months every year. Add it in your annual budget so you can plan for it and set the money aside. Get a house cleaner and online grocery ordering for this time (agree with the other comments on it being competitive/being able to find deals right now). I echo the advice of pizza + movie fridays, then have a routine on saturdays (swim class??), relax/family time on Sundays. Also could you hire a babysitter from 9-11am on saturday mornings?

    • Have DH use his comp/flex time to do “emotional labor” to make your weekend easier.

      – He can write out a meal plan, grocery shop, and prep anything he can ahead of time.
      – He can run a couple loads of laundry so you and the kids have clean clothes
      – He can clean the house and take care of the yard and do any other errands so they’re not on your plate for the weekend.

      Also, for two weeknights, he should be on kid duty. You get one night to recharge, and you use the other to plan out your weekend. Schedule a play date, scope out the weather and a park, find a local festival to wander around, get supplies for a craft day, etc. Something to give you an “activity” with the kids that focuses your efforts and doesn’t make the weekend feel like pure survival mode. Plan on a day-sitter for most of the day Saturday for 1-2 weeks during this phase, and get those booked. If you plan to stay in the house but just not on kid-duty, you could get away with a cheaper “mother’s helper” (Hate that term.) and you won’t feel as much need to vet someone extensively.

    • CPA Lady says:

      So, sometimes I jokingly make comments about how I tell the truth about my parenting so other people can feel better about themselves. But I’ve learned a lot about self preservation over the past three years. My husband worked nights and weekends for the first fifteen months of our daughter’s life. Then he worked at least one weekend day a week. Now he’s traveling 70% of the time. I’m a huge introvert. It’s not been awesome, and sometimes it’s downright awful, but we’ve made it work.

      Biggest tips:

      – truly, lower your standards: IMO, the moral issues of the mommy wars (food, screen time, etc) are for rich people who have fully contributing spouses, or enough money to buy all the help they need. If this isn’t your situation, you will only make yourself crazy if you try to do everything “perfectly”. When I really can’t deal, I let my kid eat whatever in the heck she wants (usually fruit), WHILE WATCHING TV, while I stand in the kitchen drinking boxed wine and eating whatever real dinner I made that she doesn’t want. She’s fine. And I am not yelling, so that’s good too.

      – take care of yourself when it’s not the weekend. I get stupidly expensive haircuts, fancy coffees, do a little too much online shopping, and go to yoga when my husband is in town. Whatever does it for you. I just signed up for the Sephora box subscription because I need more care packages in my life.

      – automate and routinize everything you can think of to reduce your mental stress level. Put all your bills on auto-pay. Set up subscription deliveries for everything you use regularly, including pet food. I run the dishwasher every night and empty it every morning even if there are four dishes in there. I don’t own anything that can’t go in the dishwasher. I get gas every Saturday morning. I pick up the house a little every night after my kid goes to bed because a chaotic house makes everything worse for me. We have an every two weeks cleaning person. I do jack squat in terms of true cleaning in between.

      – order your groceries online.

      – ASK YOUR HUSBAND FOR HELP. I get really resentful of my husband when he’s just going on about his life and making sure he has time to do his hobbies while I’ve been busting my ass parenting alone for the past 8 days. But every time I’ve asked for something, I’ve gotten it. Maybe be more proactive about taking entire weekend days for yourself throughout the year and leaving him with the kids by himself. Or do stuff by yourself on week nights, even if it’s just wandering TJ Maxx.

      – divide Saturday up into pods- morning activity, lunch, quiet time, afternoon activity, easy dinner, early bedtimes for everyone. My favorite thing to do when DH is out of town on the weekend is get donuts and a giant coffee and bring them to the playground Saturday morning, let my kid run around for a couple of hours, go to target, come home for lunch and after nap we go swimming.

      – Can your mom come help you? My mom is coming to visit for a couple of weeks this month while DH is out of the country. Just having another adult around can be a nice break.

      – watch all the “Mom Truth Friday” videos on you tube and laugh hysterically until you are crying and then just cry.

    • Hey! You’re doing great and this is hard. One thing I did not see suggested already: how old are your kids? My two eldest are 7 and 4 and I am a big fan of having a friend or two over — so if you can’t get invited somewhere, have a kid over for a couple of hours. I find that if you pick the right child, you get breathing room b/c the kids run off and play together (i.e. I send them down to the basement). There is a little bit of feeding or refereeing that might have to happen but overall my kids are much better entertained when they have a friend over. This is my new secret weapon for getting stuff done around the house! Otherwise I echo some of the themes above: you also need down time, treat yo’self during the week, and routinize/mechanize as much as possible. Good luck mama!

    • Anon football widow says:

      Have I mentioned how much I love this community? Seriously, you all are so generous with your support and amazing suggestions.

  7. Patty Mayonnaise says:

    My 5 month old just started daycare this week! Everything’s going smoothly, except they contacted me yesterday to tell me he had “run out of milk” – which meant he had finished the three 4 oz bottles I had sent in with him (had one at 9, one at 11 and one at 3). They were concerned he’s not getting enough because he wasn’t napping very well. But my lactation consultant had recommended a total of 12 oz and indicated that this wouldn’t change much over his first year (though she did warn me that many daycares overfeed babies). Also, my husband was home with him for the last month and the 3 bottles were never a problem. Anyone have a similar experience or advice? I really don’t want to overfeed him and I also want to start off on the right foot with his caregivers.

    • Anonymous says:

      I was thinking maybe your LC underestimated until you noted your DH had no issue with three bottles. Clearly the issue is with daycare. Kelly mom online has a great article on how to bottlefeed a BF baby. I wouldn’t hesitate to discuss that with them. You may need to emphasize that bottlefeeding a BF baby is not the same as bottlefeeding a formula fed baby.

      It’s unusual that they are blaming his napping challenges on this. He JUST started at this daycare. I would be surprised if it doesn’t take at least a couple weeks for a baby to adjust to a new nap routine. I can’t see that being feeding related.

    • Rainbow Hair says:

      I agree that you need to show them the resources about paced feeding. There’s a good video online – should be the first hit on youtube for “paced feeding.”

    • Anonymous says:

      Meh, I know breastfed babies aren’t “supposed” to need more milk as time goes on, but mine did. Your baby may also be in a growth spurt. She started out with 3oz bottles at daycare and now she drinks 3-4 4oz bottles. Sometimes babies also feed for comfort in a new environment. I give our provider the advice that she should never force her to finish a bottle. Some days she drinks 3 bottles, some days she drinks 4. Your baby could’ve just been hungry yesterday. And FWIW, it took my DD like 3 months to get comfortable napping at daycare. They should be used to that.

    • Patty Mayonnaise says:

      Thanks so much! I’ve thought about bringing in the paced feeding info (that’s how DH had been feeding him), but I don’t want to insult them either… such a delicate balance. There’s also a language barrier issue so I wonder if anyone’s found similar info in Spanish? The director kept telling me on the phone yesterday that “of course babies need more food as they grow,” so I wonder how much experience they have feeding breastfed babies. And per the LC, I’d prefer they don’t overfeed him because it’s important that I still breastfeed him at home as much as possible to maintain supply.

      • Anon in NYC says:

        My daughter started daycare at 4 months. We had been sending 4 4-oz bottles, but shortly thereafter changed to 3 5-6oz bottles. Maybe my kid had a huge appetite. I found that it didn’t make a difference in terms of my supply and allowed her to go a little longer between feedings.

      • Anonymous says:

        if you can read Spanish a bit , you can look around here for something:

      • Anonymous says:

        I’m finding that even as breastfeeding rates in the US are increasing (yay!) a lot of daycare providers don’t have experience with breastfed babies. Maybe because a lot of people are supplementing with formula by the time they kids go to daycare? Who knows. But I had to educate my provider on how long the milk is OK at room temperature, etc…She had nursed her own kids but never pumped/bottle fed (ever!) and it had been years since she had a breastfed baby in her care.

    • POSITA says:

      At 5 months you could also start thinking about starting solids. A small bowl of baby oatmeal or a half jar of sweet potatoes might be enough to keep him satisfied. It might also be enough for the teachers to feel like he’s getting enough food even if he doesn’t swallow much for a while.

      (I know the current recommendation is 6 months for bf babies, but both of my kids were sitting independently well before 5 months, interested and ready. Feel free to do your own research or talk to your pediatrician. This is one of those things that varies by kid, IME.)

      • Katarina says:

        The current recommendations on solids are a bit mixed, but trending towards 4 months, due to evidence on food allergy prevention for introducing solids earlier.

  8. Unless he has a specific health need, I’d just let the daycare overfeed. Others may disagree, but our thought is that if she’s healthy, and daycare’s happy, that’s the best combo. They give her way more milk than we do at home, but eh, she’s well cared for and her needs are met, so we just run with it.

    • Our daycare overfed, and this gave me SO MUCH ANXIETY about pumping enough for the kiddo (they ran out of milk once or twice, he refused formula, cried until I got there). So…ymmv…

      He was also a not-great napper – at home or at daycare. Plus, the infant room can be pretty chaotic because kids will all go down for their naps at different times, so it can be hard for some babies to stay asleep.

    • Patty Mayonnaise says:

      Thanks. I’m also trying to maintain supply so I want him to be a bit hungry when I pick him up. And I think it’s very possible the naps are tough just because he’s used to napping alone in his dark, quiet room!

      • Anonymous says:

        I sent 4*4 ounce bottles my son’s first year. I don’t know if he ate that much every day (our daycare was a black hole of info) but he was always happy to nurse when I picked him up. and overnight, sigh. Anyway, I don’t think what they are suggesting is crazy; i thought 16 oz was pretty normal. Can you compromise by leaving some extra frozen pumped milk for emergencies? Babies will generally comfort nurse even if they aren’t starving in the evening so it might not impact your ability to nurse when home. I agree that there are many possible other reasons for napping problems though.

  9. Thanks everyone for your thoughts on night feeds and co sleeping. The baby wouldn’t settle in his bassinet last night but passed out in our bed so my husband stayed up and watched TV until midnight and kept an eye on us while we slept. I then took over and send him to the couch around 2. The three solid hours made a huge difference. Baby spent the rest of the night in his cot and in my arms.

    Someone asked about night feeds – we are still feeding rather frequently despite his size. He is a snacker and would happily eat for five or ten minutes every hour or so.

    • Anon in NYC says:

      Something that I just thought of… my daughter slept fine in the bassinet and didn’t really need/want to be close to us at night, but one night in particular she would only sleep physically on us and would wake up every time we put her down. I finally figured out that she was cold and just wanted our body heat. I wrapped her up in another layer and she slept like a rock. So, something to consider!

    • NewMomAnon says:

      Oh!!! I had a thought about this last night! For some infants, they seem to have a need for a certain level of “mom touch,” and if they don’t fill up during the day, they’ll demand it at night. For my kiddo it was really, really high, and I found that she slept better at night (err….not great, but better than usual) if I did a lot of babywearing during the day. Do you have a baby carrier or a kangaroo care shirt?

    • layered bob says:

      +1 NewMomAnon – one of my kids needed a lot more mama skin, and babywearing skin-to-skin helped her sleep better (also not great but better).

      Re: feeds – I’ve never understood the “bigger babies don’t need to eat as frequently” thing. Bigger babies are bigger and need more calories, and there is a limit to how calorie-dense milk can be, so bigger babies need to eat just as frequently as little ones! (Which was 18-30x/day for my infants, falling to 10-16x/day by 1 year and 0-3x/day by 2 years… definitely not the 6-12x/day I heard from my lactation counselor).

  10. avocado says:

    Will he cluster-feed in the evening if you let him? My snacker slept much better when I just stayed up and let her eat every 15 minutes or so from 9:00 p.m. until 1:00 a.m. After that she’d sleep for a few solid hours.

  11. His cluster feeding seems to last between 6 and 10pm, with a brief break for a bath.

  12. Ah – I combo fed so the extra food was just formula.

  13. Bigger babies need to eat as much, but not as often– they have bigger stomachs that can store more milk at a time. Encouraging a schedule (nurse on both sides so baby actually fills up) encourages the sleep needed for brain development.

    Also, babies use most of their calories to grow, not to be active. The older they get the slower they grow. Preschool kids actually eat fewer calories than young toddlers, because their growth slows down. This isn’t true of babies, but basically a baby needs as many calories as a newborn (unless they are having a growth spurt) because they are growing slower. Bigger babies also expend less energy regulating their body temperature.

    So bigger babies eat less often and generally (barring growth spurts, illness, etc.) need about the same calories as their newborn selves.

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