Maternity Monday: Maternity V-Neck Nursing Tank

I’m an older FTM wondering when to give parental leave notice. When did you tell your boss you’re pregnant and will need leave? I’m almost 20 weeks, not showing, and I only go into the office 1-2 days a week anyway. I will have been at this job for a year in Sept., so still not protected by FMLA.

We do not have paid leave or STD. We have “unlimited PTO”, which we can’t use for leave. I’ll likely take the max 12 FMLA unpaid leave weeks. Our employee handbook requests 30 days notice for leave.

Should I wait until Sept.? That was my original plan, but I suspect I’ll be showing by then, and I don’t want to be lying to people. It feels like a lie by omission.

I’ve been in a rat race job for the last ~15 years. Increasingly people I respect have been leaving the company to do other things related to the same Widget/product, and people I barely respect are taking over in leadership roles, which makes life really hard day to day. It’s exhausting. We just completed our family, me having given birth last fall to my third/last. I’m such a hustler in my core – working up from an admin position in my financial services firm to my current role of MD in a total man’s word. I’m really proud of my trajectory and hustle, and “I’m going to prove them wrong”-driven aspirations that got me to where I am. But, today? Today I’m tired. Like, just totally disheartened by and exhausted of the race.

Is this turning 40, which I will at the end of this year? Having kids/having the view that my family is now complete so it’s time to live, so to speak? I also had some professional acquaintances literally drop dead in the last 6 months at young ages – one in his 30s and one around 55. I feel like I’m oddly, uncharacteristically introspective at the moment – finding myself asking, “what’s the point?” of the race I’m in if I can’t enjoy life outside of work. I’ve for so long identified by myself by my job and hustle, but it just feels way less fulfilling to do that these days.

I’m not sure what my question is. Does this resonate? It’s time to explore a change, right? DH is currently in the midst of a job change after a decade at his company so I’m trying to not put all of these feelings on him at the moment (he knows I feel this way but he’s not as available to go deep with me as he’s readying for his own change). I think if I made a move I’d still make really good money, albeit less than what I make now, but that’s fine. What would you do if you were me?

Hi all, I need opinions because I’m not sure if I can be objective in this situation. Thank you in advance.

My parents frequently fly from their hometown to visit my family, mostly to see my 2.5yo child. When they are here, they stay for about 7-10 days and are available to watch my child. My family does not need help with childcare, as we pay for preschool fulltime, but my parents (and especially my mom) like the 1:1 time with their grandkid, so I let my parents take my child out of preschool midday most days that they’re here. All that to say, my parents are very involved grandparents.

Over the weekend, my mom joined me and my child at our neighborhood playground. My child is on track (if not advanced) from a gross motor perspective, and I generally let him navigate the playground by himself, but constantly watching him and staying within a few feet in case he needs help. My mom, upon seeing how I was handling playground time, became visibly upset and began hovering over my child. When I told her to please not worry and that I had the situation under control, she began audibly gasping and sighing. She also made comments like “[Child’s name], you can’t do that,” even though my kid was 100% capable of doing what she was referring to, and making comments like “It only takes one incident” to me. It started devolving into a bit of a scene, and I calmly asked her to leave. She eventually did.

I feel hurt and offended, like my mom was suggesting that I’m negligent and don’t care about my own child’s wellbeing and safety. From a more practical perspective, her behavior is odd to me since I’m of course more in tune with what my child is physically capable of doing than she is. Then of course there’s the issue of undermining me in front of my kid.

Thoughts? Should I just let this go, or am I right to feel like this is a red flag and need to assert better boundaries and maybe some distance going forward? Thank you.

In very stressful unpleasant news, a random Google search just informed me that my POS father has recently moved to a city about an hour away from me. 30 years ago he was a violent abuser who deviously skirted the edge of legality. Now he has a felony record for CSA, but I don’t know any details. Obviously he can live where he wants, but I don’t know of any thing that would draw him here besides me and my kids.

He hasn’t contacted me or done anything threatening that I know of, but this is too close for my comfort, and I want to lay groundwork to protect my family. I plan to tell daycare about the whole situation, and provide them with a current photo. I’m considering how to up our home security, probably with cameras not with guns. Any other suggestions for preventative measures?