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Happy Monday! I love this simple ponte dress for summer and beyond — the V-neck is nice and high, yet flattering, the sleeves look comfortable, and the seams and darts look slimming. I also like that the dress is machine washable. It’s $128, available exclusively online at Nordstrom. Eva Alexander London Ponte Knit Maternity Dress
(L-2)
Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.
Sales of note for 12.5.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Holiday sale up to 50% off; 5x the points on beauty for a limited time
- Ann Taylor – 40% off your purchase & extra 15% off sweaters
- Banana Republic – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 40% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything & extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – Extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase with code
- Lands’ End – Up to 70% off everything; free shipping (readers love the cashmere)
- Loft – 50% off your purchase with code (ends 12/5)
- Summersalt – Up to 60% off select styles & free scarf with orders $125+ (this reader-favorite sweater blazer is down to $75)
- Talbots – 40% off your regular-price purchase; extra 50% off all markdowns
- Zappos – 34,000+ women’s sale items! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- Crate&kids – Free shipping sitewide; up to 50% off toy + gift event; free monogramming for a limited time only (order by 12/15)
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off your purchase with code
- Pottery Barn Kids – Up to 50% off toys, furniture & gifts
- Graco – Holiday savings up to 35% off; sign up for texts for 20% off full-price item
- Walmart – Up to 25% off top baby gifts; big savings on Delta, Graco, VTech, Fisher-Price & more
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Guilty Mommy says
Having a guilty mommy morning. My toddler of course pooped right as we were getting ready to leave the house, necessitating a fight about which pull-ups, clean pants and shirt to wear. Once that was resolved, she had major meltdown about wearing socks and rainboots. Get in the car, she is full blown hysterics, pulling off her boots and socks. We are already late, the weather is terrible and I know I am going to hit major traffic on the way to work, and as I already come in later than everyone else in my group and I have a jam packed day, I am super anxious. So I pull her out of the car, bring her back to the house and ask the nanny to take her to school. I tell her to have a nice day but no kiss, no I love you. She just looked at me. I cried in the car because I feel like such a cr@ppy mom. Hope everyone’s Monday is going better than mine.
FVNC says
Big internet hugs — hope your Monday gets better. This weekend’s NYT Magazine cover story (about depression and pregnancy) included a quote that really struck me: “Mothers often exaggerate, to themselves and to others, their protective, adoring feelings, and they discount their feelings of irritation or anger as weaknesses. But a child should meet with irritation and anger some of the time; he or she should understand what those emotions are, what provokes them, how they are expressed and how they are resolved.” As a mother, you’re still allowed to feel angry at or annoyed by your children. Those feelings don’t mean you’re a crappy mother.
Shayla says
Hugs to you, momma. I’m in the same boat, still feeling guilt of losing it this morning. Mondays are the hardest for us. All I can say is we’re ok, The kids are ok. The kids, bless them, probably aren’t even thinking about this any more–there’s too much to do at school. Regardless of what the internet, media, and pinterest say, we’re allowed to be imperfect. As long as our kids know they’re loved, we’re doing it right. Shake it off, focus on what you have to do to get home. We always get a do-over. And, enjoy your coffee in peace, I know I am.
KJ says
You know what? Your little girl got to school, you got to work, you didn’t yell a bunch of profanities at her or punch a hole in the wall. You are doing a good job. It can be so hard, but you are keeping it together, and you should be proud of yourself. Here’s hoping tomorrow morning is better.
Anon says
+1. Sometimes, the most important part of being a parent is knowing when you need to bench yourself and let someone else handle the next play.
mascot says
Well put. So true.
Muppet says
Love this advice. Thanks!
(former) preg 3L says
You’re a great mom!!! You have everything set up, a clean kid, and you have backup so that you don’t yell at her. She will be so happy to see you the next time you’re there. Tomorrow morning *will* be better.
anne-on says
Hugs. You didn’t yell at your kid, you didn’t hit her, and you didn’t make her cry. You did the best you could to manage your frustration in a healthy way, and sometimes we just don’t have the time to perfectly handle every single toddler meltdown. Which…is also why I have only one child, handling multiple children getting out of the house in the morning with little to no help is something I know I can’t handle.
FWIW says
My lovely next door neighbor just had baby #2 and I’m trying to figure out what food item I should bring over. I know she mentioned that they were eating GF, but I’m struggling to figure out what to bring over. Older kiddo is 6.
I am tempted just to bring over a roasted chicken, roasted potatoes and a salad. Alternately I could go in a more casserole/freezer meal direction, but when I cook for GF people I tend to just use items that naturally have no gluten in them and I feel like most of my casseroles have gluten in them. Do I do something like fajitas where I send over everything and it’s assemble your own?
Yes, I’m realizing i’m over thinking this. Do I just go get a fruit basket and call it a day? We don’t have Seamless here.
FVNC says
When I was in a similar situation — new parents of twins, loosely followed a paleo diet — we took over a bunch of chicken breasts that we’d cooked in a couple paleo-friendly ways then frozen, some fresh veggies with a long(ish) shelf life (e.g., Brussels sprouts), and some mini-fritatas baked in a muffin tin (also frozen).
Meg Murry says
Do you know if the family is gluten free by choice, or if one of the family members has celiac? If celiac, chances are they won’t eat any food prepared outside the house – they can’t chance even a tiny amount of cross contamination from your cutting boards, etc. I have a friend with a child with celiac, and they either throw out any food someone else prepares for them or send it in to their office to share – they can’t chance the child eating it.
I might just go with a grocery store or Target gift card, or even just a card, with your phone number and a note that you’re willing to watch the six year old if needed (if you are willing, of course).
Maddie Ross says
Celiac family member here and I’ll just chime in that that *may* not be the case about them being so strict. It’s probably good to check, but my dad is celiac and he has made the conscious decision to take the calculated risk on food prepared outside the home (both things made by family/friends, food in restaurants, and food at meetings/events). If it’s the child, they may be different. But I think a fair question is to ask before making broad assumptions. And if you know whether it’s the mom or not, you could always just put together a basket of snacks specifically for her (prepackaged or homemade).
FWIW says
No, no one is celiac. They went GF to help with some of the older kid’s behavioral issues. I honestly don’t know if they still are for sure, but I figured I’d just make food that naturally didn’t have gluten in it.
(Also- I’ve prepped food for lots of people with different food restrictions before and have just found that items like parchment and tin foil are my friends.)
I think I’m sensitive because this is someone I would like to be better friends with. Maybe I’ll just get her a nice hanging basket.
(former) preg 3L says
If you’d like to be better friends, check in on them in a month, when all the newborn gifts have been used up and they are still getting used to being a family of 4 and are still totally sleep deprived. I mean, definitely send a fruit basket (or whatever you decide) now, but checking in on them later will develop the friendship more (imho).
FWIW says
Yep, this is the plan.
I think I’ve landed on bringing over a fruit basket and a big stack of fun magazines.
Also, we get along well enough where if they ever have to run to the hospital in the middle of the night, I’m on the list of people who come stay with the older kid. She’s a nice, smart person who’s currently a SAHM and is the type of a person I’d like to be friends with, especially when I’m on maternity leave.
mascot says
Ask. I think a fruit basket sounds great, btw. Keeps for a while, easy for snacks.
FWIW says
You are all so awesome. I was totally overthinking this.
Fruit basket it is! No gluten worries, easy to figure out, can leave it on the doorstep if they can’t answer the door.
kc esq says
For future reference, some make-ahead meals I’ve done for GF family members are: chili, Alton Brown’s shepherd’s pie (subbing cornstarch for flour), pulled pork. If anyone has others to suggest, I’d love to hear them.
FWIW says
I’ve done roasted chicken, sweet potato black bean chili, chicken white bean kale soup, quiche with a GF crust made of hash brown potatoes that you pre-bake…
All these things seemed wintery to me but those went over well.
Meg Murry says
Anyone have any advice/commiseration as to how to deal with handing off some of the “default parent” responsibilities without turning into a nagging shrew or losing your temper completely? Or anyone else want to share a “I blow up at my husband regularly but our relationship is still fine because XYZ”?
I recently (in the past few months) started a new job where I am 30+ minutes from home and had 0 vacation days for the first few months. My husband works near home, and has taken on the bulk of the day to day kid issues, including getting to school (and home from school when there is no aftercare), packing lunches, etc. However, there is one task that involves scheduling a meeting with my son’s teacher and guidance counselor which my husband has promised me he would handle – and has been promising for months. Its now the last week of school, and sure enough, it’s not handled, and without completing this last signature gathering task we will basically be starting over again next year when my son transfers to the next level school with a new teacher, instead of it just following through from this year.
So, upon realizing this, I basically chewed my husband out this morning as soon as he got out of bed and I was on my way out the door. I’m trying not to make all our interactions me nagging him, but I’m really tired of dealing with his laid-back “I’ll get to it later” attitude – but I don’t want to blow a whole unpaid day off (the only way I could deal with this, whereas he could take care of it in an hour) and now I don’t know if we even can do it at all this school year. This isn’t the only thing where my husband and I are arguing about in regards to tasks/nagging- he says I’m nagging him, I shoot back that I wouldn’t nag him if he would either JUST DO IT or tell me to handle it myself or when he is going to handle it. Then we wind up shouting, both mad and nothing is done.
Anyone have anything I can do differently? Or a way to smooth this kind of thing over? I really don’t want to just handle this stuff myself. One thing that worked for a while was to say “ok, when will you have it done by? Ok, 2 weeks? Ok I won’t bring it up until then” and then ask again at the 2 week mark – but that still doesn’t work.
Normally, my husband’s laid back style compliments my Type A, put it on a calendar, check things off a list tendancies – he calms me down, I prod him a little here or there, it’s all good. But this week has been pretty bad.
Maddie Ross says
I know what you are looking for is to hand-off duties, but one thing that has worked in my household for the items that are easily forgotten is to keep a household wipe board /chalkboard in a prominent spot (ours is in the hallway that leads to our garage and laundry room, so we pass by a zillion times a day) and record these type of items on it. We both write things on it as they come to us – appointments to make, things to take to daycare, reminders about our own schedules, etc.
CPA Lady says
I’ve had success asking *specifically* for *exactly* what I want using the word “will” rather than the word “can”. It sounds weirdly minor, but it really changes how the question is answered. So instead of saying “Can you handle the meeting thing with school” I would say “Will you set up the meeting today for next Thursday?” [Then I stop talking. I don’t bring up the past. I don’t nag. I just ask for specifically what I want.]
When you ask someone a “will you” question, they have to answer with a sort of promise. Or they have to give you a definite no. But either way, you know the answer. “Can” is a much hazier concept than “Will”.
SC says
I think the key is to choose your battles carefully and allow everything else to just not happen. Some things really are important enough to require multiple reminders. But my husband typically doesn’t feel like I’m nagging unless it’s very frequent or about multiple things. It also helps to choose my moments wisely – not when he first wakes up, not when he first gets home from work – and to have a non-naggy tone of voice. Finally, I try to get real buy-in at the beginning, where we’re both on the same page about how important something is and when it really needs to be done (and sometimes he convinces me to relax about something). If he actually agrees that something needs to get done, he usually doesn’t get too annoyed by my reminders (if timed appropriately and said in a nice way).
Oh, and sometimes I use other ways to get his attention – text or email or whatever, depending on what the thing is.
pockets says
I deal with this a lot too. I’m not Type A (in many ways except for task-doing I am the more laid back partner) so don’t blame it on that. My husband had a SAHM growing up who did e v e r y t h i n g for him (including putting his shoes away after he took them off in the middle of the hallway) so he’s just used to household tasks being handled by someone else. It’s a hard habit to break.
One thing I have been trying to get better about it no talking about tasks before coffee and breakfast. Neither of us is at our best self in the morning and things can spiral quickly.
I also told my husband that there is no way he’d treat his boss like he treats me. If his boss asked him to do something he would do it ASAP and without multiple reminders. And if his boss did need to remind him, or asked him for an update, he wouldn’t tell his boss to stop nagging him and leave him alone. He handles his job duties very well, so I know he can handle other duties if he wants to. It’s insulting to me that he thinks his boss and job duties are more important and more deserving of his attention than me and family duties. I told him this a few weeks ago so I don’t know how it’ll work in the long run.
Finally, any chore than is can be handed off without oversight has been handed off without guilt (it was hard to do it without guilt but I remind myself of the million little unobservable things I do, and that helped). Laundry is a good example. We both see that it needs to be done (overflowing laundry basket/no underwear) and he’s in charge of doing it (I am an everything-in-the-wash, everything-in-the-dryer person so there’s no oversight issues). Moving the car for alternate side parking. Cleaning up dinner. That way I can focus on the chores that require more oversight (grocery shopping, making sure we have diapers) without feeling like I am doing everything to keep the household going.
Carrie M says
We’ve had this issue before (and still sometimes do), except that my husband is sometimes the one nagging me (though it does go both ways in our house). We haven’t found a perfect solution, but here are a few strategies that we’ve tried depending on what the “thing” needing to be done is:
– We give the other person a time limit, e.g.: You have until the end of the month to paint that room. If it’s not done by then, I’m calling a painter, and you can’t complain about spending the money on it. That’s the end of it.
– We keep a running to-do list and try to sit down once a week (or sometimes once a month if things are crazy) with a couple of beers and check off what’s been done and get on the same page for completing other tasks. If something has been in his court for a while, I will offer to take it over. And we try to be specific with each other about why it’s important for it be done on time: e.g., I want this done by June 1 because we have guests in town the next two weekends and won’t be able to deal with it. Or: baby has to have this appointment by June 15 because she needs her shots to continue going to daycare.
– We split it up. I am good at scheduling, so I make all the doctors’ appointments. Then we split up which adult can go depending on work schedules. I tend to do a lot of the phone calls (calling to get someone to fix our AC asap, inquiries to our health insurance re coverage, calling our bank, etc.) because I have a private office and he’s in a cube. He can be more flexible on some days, so he waited at the house for the AC repair person.
– When all else fails, we use the “truth gun.” Truth gun: it really pissed me off that you didn’t schedule the appointment with the school when you said you would handle it. I’m sorry I yelled at you, but I was really annoyed that you dropped the ball on something you said you would handle. Our rules of engagement for the truth gun include not getting defensive and not having a fight. We both have to calmly engage with each other. It was really hard – for me – when we started because I tend to get heated more quickly. But over the years, I’ve gotten a lot better, and we’ve had some really good conversations re how to improve our relationship, what’s making us happy or angry or frustrated, how we’re handling money…..basically a lot of the tricky conversations in a marriage start with a truth gun in our house.
I hope you’re able to sort everything out with the meeting with the teacher! good luck!
hoola hoopa says
If you scheduled the meeting, would he show up? That would get it resolved without you having to make time in your work day.
We try to play to our strengths. While we can and do evenly share the majority of tasks, I’ll default to the things that I can do most naturally or conveniently and him to his. We’ve found that mis-assigned tasks are generally the ones that don’t get done (real examples: me in charge of getting something fixed on the car or calling a utility company; Husband in charge of reviewing a contract or sending birthday party invites).
Lorelai Gilmore says
Also, it is May. May is the Worst Month. There’s so much work to be done to get through the end of school, prepare for summer “vacation,” sign up for camps, cover colleagues who are all out of the office for graduations/their own vacations, etc. It’s a ton of work. My life has gotten better since I’ve just come to terms with the fact that May is a tough month and it’s not anything specific to me – it’s just a lot of work. Be gentle to each other during this time period and it too shall pass.
Having said all of that, I really agree with two points above:
1) having regular check-ins with wine to go through the list/calendar/etc., and
2) not trying to have the check-ins or reminder conversations at bad times. In my marriage, I can’t handle serious conversations or check-ins after, say, 10:30 PM (and preferably even earlier). I don’t mind mid-work-day check-ins, but my husband can’t handle the distraction from work. And my husband can’t handle morning reminders. It means that we have to book time (often on a Friday night, yes, I know we have a glamorous life!) to have these conversations, but it is just so much better to do it when you’re both emotionally available and prepared. I think my husband’s restrictions are ridiculous – and he thinks mine are – but we are so much happier when we both just acknowledge each other’s limits that way and respect them.
Carrie M says
+1 to this: “we are so much happier when we both just acknowledge each other’s limits that way and respect them”
and also to understanding my OWN limits. I’m sorry, but I can’t have a conversation while we lie in bed. I will fall asleep in the middle of it, and your feelings will be hurt because I fell asleep mid-sentence (yes, this actually happened).
Lorelai Gilmore says
Ha! Me too.
Meg Murry says
Yes, I think everyone hit all the nails on the head – it’s the end of May which is a stressful time for us both with school and jobs, this is the kind of task I’ve been handling because I’m usually better at it, and we are trying to communicate about it at the worst possible times – when he is first waking up and pre-coffee because I’m about to run out the door, or after he comes home from an evening meeting and I’m half asleep, or should already be asleep. So I’m cranky and he’s cranky and makes everything seem like nagging. I’m hoping we can break this cycle, but I’m still pretty ticked off about him dropping the ball on this task so monumentally, and I think I need to figure out how to move past this or it will linger in all our communication.
Lorelai Gilmore says
Time to pull out the truth gun! Good luck!