Maternity Monday: Maternity Draped Joggers

My son’s BFF is 15 months older, and started school this year, and we had a playdate this week and the oneupmanship was intense. His bike was bigger, he rode with pedals rather than a balance bike, he was faster, he would always and forever be older, he had every toy my kid had and more. My son didn’t get annoyed by it but at one point he turned to me and whispered “I think he likes to show off his tricks…”

Is there a way to gently correct or redirect? They spend a lot of time together and really enjoy each other’s company, but it was a bit sad to watch? I have to remind the BFF of his please and thank yous all the time and he seems to take that in stride so I think a gentle nudge would be fine.

I have been in the same job since before I had kids. Some days I cling to my reputation/established credibility when I feel like I can’t be super employee all the time due to my family needs. I’m not contemplating a new job and scared about leaving that comfort zone. Can anyone speak to the experience of starting a new job with kids in tow for the first time? did you just mentally commit to like 6 months or a year of your job being priority 1 until you build up some “credits”?

For those of you with kids on the autism spectrum, what sorts of activities actually work? I feel bad when my kid just can’t function in an activity that seems like it should work and I’d love to have a drop-off activity and not helicopter, but my presence in case of a meltdown is often the cost of admission (and I feel costs growth and independence since meltdowns are low-occurrence (maybe annually? but odd (but quirky vs dangerous or rule-breaking) behavior and atypical gait is a given)). Soccer and swimming haven’t worked out so well for us. With COVID, social skills groups aren’t meeting.

Question for this group – does anyone have a child who is just an incredibly slow eater? If so, how do you handle this so that you are not at the mercy of 75+ minute mealtimes, while balancing trying to not rush your child/give them a complex about having to rush to eat?

For background – our 2.5 year old is a pretty decent eater and not very picky. Sometimes he eats food at a normal clip (finishes a meal in 30 minutes), but about 1/3 the time, at 45 minutes after serving him his meal, he’s only taken a few bites. Sometimes he comes home from school with his lunchbox mostly full because, per his teachers, he just wanted to talk to friends, sing songs, or point out what everyone else was eating (“Liam’s eating a sandwich! CeCe’s eating cucumbers!”). It does not seem to matter if it is a food that he loves vs. a food that he is iffy about. At about 30 minutes, we will ask him if he is finished. He often says “No, I am still eating.” (and then eats a few more bites). It also doesn’t seem to be a delay tactic because he doesn’t want to eat, we (and his teachers) are in agreement that he would simply rather be singing a song than eating. But then he is staving later (on the days where he’s only had half his lunch).

I know that most Americans (myself included) likely rush through the meals and don’t stop to savor and enjoy our food. We currently have about 30-45 minutes to eat in the morning, he has an hour at school, and 45-60 minutes for dinner. Our child seems to have high sleep needs, and he’s not up until 7:15 in the mornings, so it’s not like we’re up at 5:30 and can fit in a 2 hour breakfast. I guess part of me feels like it shouldn’t take 60 minutes to eat a banana and a small bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, and would appreciate the wisdom of this group. TIA!

I had two rounds of interviews over the summer for an internal (same org but different unit) position I was really excited about. I thought the interviews went well, and the hiring manager said she’d be in touch soon to schedule the final round. Then I never heard from her so I just assumed I didn’t get the job. Well, surprise! She just reached out to schedule the final round interview. But I don’t think I want to proceed anymore for two reasons: For one, in the intervening time, I got a new manager and he and I have really clicked. The problems with my job and the unit I work for persist, but life is much more tolerable with a manager who has your back and I’m hesitant to leave a good manager for an unknown one. The second reason and the reason I’m asking advice here instead of the main page, is that my childcare is more unreliable than ever before (today is my 10th day of daycare being open since the week before Thanksgiving), and I really just don’t see how I can learn the ropes and give the new job the attention it deserves when I barely have childcare.

I’m obviously not going to share the first reason with her, but would you share the second? Or would you just say a vague “My circumstances have changed, and I’m no longer interested in pursuing this opportunity”? I know being vague is usually the standard advice in situations like this, but part of me thinks employers really need to start hearing about how pandemic daycare and school closures are costing them valuable employees.