Maternity Monday: Bardot Dress with Half Sleeve
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There are a few interesting things about this dress. A) it comes in a zillion prints and colors, in regular, petite, and tall maternity sizes, b) it is the top item that comes up at ASOS when you search “maternity”, c) in some of the pictures of the dresses it looks more like a wide boatneck instead of an off the shoulder look, suggesting you have some options there, and d) for $41 (in black), you get your money’s worth even if you only wear it out on a few date nights, cocktail parties, and maybe your baby shower. The different sizes and colors range from $18-$46, exclusively at ASOS. ASOS Maternity Bardot Dress With Half Sleeve
Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.
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Sales of note for 1/16:
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
- AllSaints – now up to 60% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles with code — readers love this blazer, these dresses, and their double-layer line of tees
- DeMellier – Sale now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
- Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off — reader favorites include their scoop tee, Dream Pant, ReNew Transit backpack, silk blouses and oversized blazers! New markdowns just added
- Hannah Andersson – Up to 30% off all pajamas;
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything
- L.K. Bennett – Archive sale, almost everything 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Tag sale for a limited time — jardigans and dresses $200, pants $150, tops $95, T-shirts $50
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – 50% off + extra 20% off, sale on sale, plus free shipping on $150+
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Had a nasty run-in with the neighbor in the next door apartment about a door closing noise that “woke him up” (at 3 pm on Sunday). It led to him pounding on the wall between our apartments for a few minutes, and then a completely off-the-rails multi-page typed letter slid under my door, in which he lays out in minute detail his observations about the inner workings of my apartment based on the noises he’s heard, including insinuating that I was a bad mom because my daughter wakes up multiple times a night (he noted that he can also hear me “shushing” her). Also said he’s not sure why I don’t want to be social with him because all he wants to be “welcoming” (he’s gay, that isn’t a sexual invite but it’s still bizarre).
I had e-mailed building management after the initial episode, and then gave them a copy of the letter and talked with them this morning. They are sending in maintenance folks to do whatever they can, and they were definitely sympathetic. I guess he sent them close to a dozen e-mails as well.
I’m really rattled and don’t feel safe in the apartment anymore. Are there other apartment dwellers who have dealt with intrusive neighbors? Are there noise reduction strategies that I can implement? I hate (hate hate hate) that he can hear what goes on in my daughter’s bedroom, but flipping the bedrooms would be challenging (kiddo would have access to a door to the porch and an attached bathroom if we flipped the bedrooms, and both of those things make me nervous).
Daycare question: our daycare makes us pay for Federal holidays – is that common? It is a day off for teachers and staff, but I am pretty sure that they do not get paid for that day.
Some exciting news on a Monday morning. I’ve been given the opportunity to make a job switch into a specialty in within my field – at my alma mater! I’m excited to be going back, and excited to be taking my family with me.
I’m really stumped on wardrobe. I’m currently in a very business casual (to the point most people don’t care what you wear as long as it isn’t jeans or sneakers) environment – which has led to wardrobe sloppiness and lack of style on my part. I’m not sure of a good direction to take my wardrobe, although I know it needs some updates.
During my interview I saw a lot of men in shirts with ties, but no jackets – although the institution was on fall break and I wondered if it were perhaps a little more casual than usual. The only woman I saw in a jacket was the President of the institution. All other women appeared to be in slacks/thin sweater/cardigan. The community is northern (ie, cold and snowy) and extremely rural. My position would be mostly internal, working with faculty, and as far as I can tell would only occasionally require business formal attire.
I’d be happy to live in cords, sweaters and boots, but feel it may be too casual. Is there a good step up from that?
Ugh, terrible fight with my husband last night. I have never, ever seen him so angry, and I don’t totally understand why. Here’s my view of what happened. He spends a lot of weekend time away from the family. Sometimes it’s to have an afternoon with his friends, which I encourage. Sometimes it’s to help out his mom (we all come along sometimes, but they sometimes need mother-son time). Sometimes it’s because he thinks he needs to go into work. Sometimes he really does need to work. But often he just feels like he needs to do “more” work, even though literally no one else goes in on the weekend (I know because he often complains that the HVAC in the building isn’t on). I feel like we rarely do things as a family and honestly I don’t think he enjoys spending time with our kids (2 yo twins). He’s kind of said as much.
The fight started with him napping through what was supposed to be some family time yesterday. I woke him up at one point and asked if he wanted to come out for a walk (we had agreed earlier in the day that we’d all go for a walk after the kids’ nap). He said “no” I asked “are you sure?” and he said “yes, I do not want to go for a walk.” And went back to sleep. I was kind of miffed because here I was again on my own with the kids after we’d agreed we’d do something together. But later in the evening, after the kids were in bed, he seemed like he was annoyed with me. I asked what was up and he said he was upset that I’d gone on the walk without him! I said “but you said you didn’t want to go” and he said that he was upset that I’d just gone anyway, that he might have wanted to do something other than a walk. He didn’t say “I’m not up for a walk, but I’d be up for something else” he just said “no” and I’d given him two chances to answer!
This led to me saying that I feel like I’m on my own with the kids a lot on the weekends. He got upset because he feels like he’s not off doing fun things and I’m saying he should hang out with me instead of doing things that have to get done, like helping his mom or going to work. In any one instance I totally get it, but I feel like there’s a point where you’re consistently choosing other things over family, it suggests that spending time with family is low priority. I feel like it’s leftover time.
This is part of a bigger issue where I feel like he assumes that I’ll be there to cover kid and home stuff and he can run the rest of his life as he wants. But I feel like the kids come first. If one of the kids needs to go to the doctor, for example, he’ll say “I can’t do it – I’m too busy at work.” And I don’t doubt he’s busy. But it’s not like the kid then doesn’t need to go to the doctor. If I were on travel or really, honestly, had a reason that I could not go, he would make it work. But when it’s day-to-day stuff, he always feels like he “can’t” do the family stuff.
He also says that I don’t believe that he supports my career, but I feel like his actions show he doesn’t really, not when it’s in competition with his own. I’m the one who gets home to relieve the nanny in the evening, leaving him to work as late as he needs to every night. But I also get up with the kids in the morning, meaning I don’t have that unfettered time. If I want to go to bed early so I can get up early and do some work, he gets annoyed that I’m not spending more time with him. He’s offered to get home early one night a week so I can work late, but he wants to plan it every week so it works with his schedule. I feel like I need to ask each week for the thing he gets every day.
So all of this came up last night. And the best I can understand is that he’s angry that I think the work is unequal. I’m now hurt and angry that he doesn’t hear that and say “I’m sorry you feel that way — let’s see if we can figure out who’s doing what and be sure that we’re both doing our part” He hears me saying “you’re not doing enough.” And that’s how I feel, but I’m willing to hear him out – maybe there are things he does that I miss. He just gets unreasonable when he’s angry. He said “well we dont’ bring in equal money but I’m not complaining.” I earn 47% of the household income. And in the past I’ve earned more like 75% of our income.
I feel like this is totally normal, typical stuff that working families deal with. And I can see his side, not as well as I see my own (and he would probably cast all this differently if he were the one writing), but I see both sides. What I don’t see is how this made him so incredibly angry. He was literally shaking he was so angry. He was still furious this morning. He said he was wondering if he’d made a mistake in marrying me. He said that I make our home unwelcoming and it’s no surprise he doesn’t want to spend time there. He doesn’t mean these things. We had a terrible fight in August when he said he didn’t know if he could stay married to me, but we worked things out and I don’t think we were actually on the brink of divorce. And things had been incredibly good. We had talked just that morning about how good we are together. He will say these things when he’s angry and he knows how hurtful they are (everyone in my family is divorced so divorce is very real to me; no one in his family has ever gotten divorced so these things just don’t carry the same weight for him — but he knows how much they hurt me and he’s said in the past he shouldn’t say things like this, but when he gets angry, out they come.)
I just don’t know how I’m going to get any work done today. I don’t know how to move on from this. I think marriage counseling makes sense because overall I do think our marriage is really good. I just think we have these toxic fights once in awhile. But in the meantime, I wish I knew how long he’d be this angry. Also he tends to carry grudges and these fights build up and come back over and over again. So in five years, we’ll have a fight and this fight will come up. He just doesn’t let go. I’m so frustrated because I feel like it’s so hard to bring anything up, but I don’t know how to make it better.
Not sure if I’m looking for advice, or just trying to work through this. Sorry for the novel.
Whoops! Realized I posted this on Friday’s thread. Question for those of you who have a breastmilk stash – do you cycle out the frozen stuff once in a while? We haven’t had to dip into the stash much, so I wasn’t sure if at some point I should start thawing out the frozen and freezing fresh stuff. But I know the fresh milk is best so is that a bad solution? Any stash secrets I should be aware of?
My newborn son does not seem to have been born with any sleeping skills. I will put him down swaddled when he seems sleepy, I might sing a little song to him, I might pat or tap him or rub him a little bit, and he starts wailing within minutes. At most he falls asleep for one sleep cycle and then wakes up wailing. Letting him cry sometimes helps, but typically does not. He is, if anything, overfed. I give him a pacifier when he is awake, but I would rather not put it in his crib with him, because then when he falls asleep and it falls out of his mouth, he will wake up and scream more. I am exhausted, and I think the lack of sleep is impacting my mental health. Any suggestions? I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.
I’m at the end of my rope as far as sleep deprivation. The baby works up at least 3 -4 times every night. Older kids also haven’t been sleeping great, so I’m really looking at like 5-6 wakeups every night. My fitbit tells me I average around 4 hours of sleep with 13 restless periods. I can’t concentrate at work and in the past week I have had a minor fender bender (I hit an object) and i fell down a flight of stairs. I feel like this is all related to long term sleep deprivation and I’m seriously becoming a danger to myself and others. Husband hasn’t been a great help, 3 kids has been tough of both of us and he isn’t handling lack of sleep well either, he doesn’t get up nearly as much as I do (probably 1-2 times/night), but he still isn’t getting great sleep. Usually when this happens we can visit my parents for a weekend and let them entertain the kids while we nap, but my mother had surgery last week so that is off the table. I don’t even know how to make the situation better at this point.
Thanks TBK!
We leave books in her crib and she used to look at them by herself until last week. She also has a lovey and night light that she can turn on. But neither of those things seem to soothe her now.
I haven’t tried the clock and I am not sure if she is old enough to get it. She seems to wake up pretty distressed, asking for “Mommy and Daddy come here now!”
Flu (shot) season is upon us! What are your tips for helping small children through shots?
My kiddo has always done great with her immunizations but is just now at the age (nearing 3) where I think she’ll need some extra help to be prepared and then to get over it. I’m try to be honest with these things; my plan is to tell her she is going to get a shot, that it will hurt, but that I will hold her until she feels better. Other tips? screens/ juice and other bribes are all on the table.
Also, is it ok for her to just go to daycare afterward or do I need to keep her home for the day? I’d rather not take a whole day off of work unless necessary.
Help! My 2 year old has decided to start waking up at 5am. Up until last week she consistently woke up after 7. I’m falling asleep as I type this. Any tips? It doesn’t feel right to CIO at 5am. I feel like she’s just going to cry for an hour and then it will be time to wake up anyway and our neighbors will super hate us.
She wakes up and wants to read books and start her day. Not hungry and not interested in potty.