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Fenty Beauty (by Rihanna aka Robyn Fenty) is supposed to be inclusive of a wide range of skin tones and colors; their foundation line has 40 shades. I recently saw a makeup tutorial where the artist used a single one of these color sticks to do an entire face of makeup: blush, eyeshadow, and lipstick. Although I probably would not be able to pull off one color on my entire face, I think that concept is really cool. I am also not a makeup expert, so I always appreciate when a product is designed to be blended with your fingertips. I could see myself buying one of the bronze-ish ones to use as an eyeshadow and contour stick, or a pinkish one to use as blush and lip color. They are $25 each at Sephora. Match Stix Shimmer Skinstick
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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
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- Boden – 15% off new styles
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- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
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Dogs & babies says
My 6 month old is not quite crawling but is getting fairly mobile by rolling, scooting, army crawling, etc. We have a small dog who has always been wary of the baby and pretty much avoided her when she was immobile. Now that the baby is more mobile she sometimes approaches the dog and touches her legs or tail. On several occasions the dog has growled loudly at the baby when this happened, even though the dog was not confined in any way and was free to walk away (and is obviously much faster than the baby).
The dog and baby are never together without one of us present (this is fairly easy because the dog is a “Velcro Dog” who is always glued to me or my husband, especially my husband, and gives the baby a wide birth unless DH and I are both with the baby). The dog is an adult rescue mix. She’s terrified of just about everything, including strangers, but we’ve never really seen any aggression before and we’ve had her for ~5 years. When kids try to pet her at the farmers market, she runs away with her tail between her legs. She’s definitely not a golden retriever that wants to love on everyone she meets, but until recently it always seemed like her instinct was just to remove herself from situations she didn’t like. But now it seems like she wants to stand her ground and growl at the baby, which is concerning to say the least.
Anyone have any advice?
Anonymous says
Do not let the baby touch her legs or tail. I would consult a dog trainer as this will only likely worsen as baby gets more and more mobile. I would be concerned that she runs away from other kids as well. Fear can lead to aggression so you should address this sooner rather than later.
Anonymous says
+1. Treat this very seriously and get a dog trainer involved asap.
Em says
+1 we have a similar dog (afraid of everything) and we got a behaviorist who specialized in fearful and aggressive dogs in to work with him before our son became mobile. He is still fearful, but is soooo much better than he was and has developed a good relationship with our now 2 1/2 year old. This was in conjunction with constant training of our toddler of how to appropriately interact with animals. Make sure you never yell at or otherwise discipline the dog for growling. It is warning right now that it is uncomfortable. The next step is biting and you don’t want to discipline it into not giving the warning growl.
SC says
+1. My in-laws had an aggressive dog (who I’ve posted about here before). The dog bit an adult while my husband was holding the leash on a walk and greeting a neighbor. The dog had been disciplined in multiple ways, for years, for growling and giving other warning signs. After that incident, and with advice/encouragement of people here, I said we could no longer allow our toddler around the dog. Long story short, it happened again (no warning signs, bit an adult), with MIL in the room, and they realized they had to euthanize the dog.
So, yes, please seek a behaviorist ASAP. They can help guide you on what to do, and what not to do. And treat the growls like the warning they are–take them seriously, but don’t punish the dog for them.
Anonymous says
Keep the dog in a separate space separated by baby gates at all times. She’s growling at your baby, this is dangerous, stop it. Call a trainer ASAP.
mascot says
We have two dogs, same breed. One is bombproof and loves people. The other can be much more timid, particularly around small kids, other dogs and in public. She’s gotten so much better in the 9 years that we’ve had her, but it was a process. A couple of things we learned. Don’t put your dog in bad situations. Not all dogs are able to go to farmers markets and errands at petsmart. That’s ok- you don’t carry them there. Even now, I put my dogs away in our room when we have a bunch of little kids over and everyone seems happier Also, and you already know this, but a growl is not a snap, a snap is not a bite, all bites aren’t necessarily the same. 6 months old is too young for your kid to really understand this, but it’s something to verbalize in hopes that it sticks in a few years. Hey, doggy is growling, doggy wants you to leave her alone, lets go do something else. Our dog can get very loud and very close and frankly it sounds like she’s about to rip you apart. But, what we’ve learned is that she does have very good bite inhibition and she’s going to correct people if they do something that she doesn’t like and she thinks she’s in danger (like tail pulling). For the first couple of years of our child’s life, we watched them like hawks if they were in the room together and constantly redirected each of them to give each other space. He wasn’t allowed near beds or bowls or toys. Slowly, she got comfortable with him and he learned how to act around her. Now he can feed the dog, she’ll snuggle on his lap, and they play together so this isn’t forever. We read a lot of books about dogs and kids and reading dog behavior/emotions (Patricia McConnell is my fave for this). Good luck- it’s hard at times and the vigilance can be exhausting.
mascot says
ETA: Definitely get a trainer involved to help here. We’d been through several rounds with both dogs and it helped guide us.
aelle in aerospace says
Growling is already a step too far. Keep the two physically separated by gates or doors and don’t allow any contact until you have worked with a trainer – and if you can’t hire a trainer, plan on keeping the dog and the child separated for good. Your daughter will only get more curious about the dog as she grows, and children cannot reliably read warning signs in dogs until age 7, so you need a solid plan, not just a short term workaround.
AIMS says
Ok. So first thing first – you will not be able to always keep baby from touching the dog so you need to work on this with the dog more than anything else. My daughter is great at mostly not bothering our dog in ways he doesn’t like but we spent a lot of time making sure that even if she yanks his tail, he would never be aggressive. (Btw, a side note, this has nothing to do with breed; golden retrievers have one of the highest incidents of biting precisely because people assume they don’t have to spend time on training with them because they’re so family friendly).
So talk to your vet and talk to a trainer ASAP and in the meantime keep dog and kid separate as you can. Do you have a crate for the dog? We have one with out a door that is more like our dog’s “home base” and it helps to have that available for him to retreat to if he is feeling crowded. One other small bit of advice – dogs are very immediate creatures. If the dog growls, you need to immediately firmly say “no” and separate them or whatever to make sure that dog knows that is not allowed. If the dog is being good with baby, you can reward it. But it should all be right away because they don’t have a good concept of past/present. It may be enough to do this a few times or you may need to have a more formal program. Every dog is different. But I would talk to at least your vet because there are a lot of basic steps you can take here to make this easier (and frankly that maybe you should have taken already to try to bond the dog and baby, which I only point out to say maybe this dog training business doesn’t come entirely naturally to you and professional help is called for).
Anonymous says
I have a family member that trains animals. You don’t want to punish a growl. A growl is a warning sign from a dog that they’re upset. If you successfully train them not to growl without addressing the issue, you haven’t fixed the problem, you’ve just removed the warning sign.
Em says
+1 THIS. Do not punish a growl! You will just train the dog not to give the warning sign and the dog will snap without warning.
AIMS says
That’s a good point. I think there is a way to teach tolerance for kids without doing punishing the growling itself, which is more what I was getting at. Def. all the more reason to involve a professional.
Anonymous says
Call a behaviorist NOW. Get the dog and situation evaluated. If they recommend revoking the dog,do not second guess them. Do it. In the meantime, crate the dog and make sure you have gates everywhere.
This problem will not go away. It will get worse as the kiddo gets older and if you have more kids.
I went through the same thing. We kept trying to make it work. We did tons of work with behaviorists/trainers you name it. My dog just got more guarded and aggressive – toward strangers, not us, but was never totally comfortable with my kid. Dog ended up snapping at and biting my kid at 18 months, totally and completely unprovoked (husband had kid on lap and was petting dog, dog snapped at kiddo and got her finger. It bled but the dog was big enough that if he’d wanted to he could have bitten *off* the finger so it was a warning). Dog was rehired that afternoon. It could have been so.much.worse. In hindsight and now with more kids, we were stupid and stubborn to try and keep that dog in what was clearly a dangerous situation. We tried and it didn’t get better.
Do not be us!
FEIW my first was great with the dog- kept her distance, didn’t harass him, left his spaces alone. My second two kids would NEVER have behaved like that and they’d have been bitten way earlier.
Anonymous says
And, I should say, I cried for months over having to regime the dog. He went to a known family (of adults). He is fine. Which is super lucky because he was a 6 y/o blvlnsog with a bite history! But I mourned the situation as if he’d died. It’s really, really hard. But you have to do it (if vet/behaviorist recommend).
Anonymous says
REHOME!! My goodness.
avocado says
We went through something similar with a dog that was aggressive towards me and dangerously rowdy around our baby, although fortunately the dog never bit anyone. You absolutely must prioritize your baby’s safety over everything else. This means keeping the dog physically separated from baby at all times while you consult with a reputable behaviorist to determine whether and how the dog can safely remain in your home.
We had an immense amount of guilt over “failing” our dog, which led us to keep the dog much longer than we should have and to waste thousands of dollars on training, doggie day care, dog walkers, and other “solutions” that made zero difference. In hindsight, I wish we’d rehomed the dog while I was pregnant when it became apparent that the dog had decided that she outranked me in the pack structure and no amount of training could ever change that. Be aware that you will face an immense amount of judgment if you do need to rehome the dog. Even (and especially) people who consider themselves dog experts and ought to know better will tell you that you didn’t try hard enough, didn’t get the right training, weren’t committed enough. Do not listen to those people, and don’t let their guilt trips lead you to let an unsafe situation persist. Now that you are a parent, you no longer have the luxury of putting a dog’s needs on equal footing with the needs of human beings. Non-parents and even some parents who have never lived with a dangerous animal just don’t get that.
Anonymous says
Yes, this. I’m the anon above who eventually register med. oncsvthe dog was out of our home, it was this immense relief- a stressor/weight we didn’t realize we’d been carrying was suddenly gone. Of course, we mourned the loss of the dog and felt we’d failed. I’d imagine it’s not dissimilar to the feeling that one has after a loved one fighting a log battle with disease has- grief, but relief. It’s not the same but I was genuinely surprised how different it felt not to have to be on high alert 24/7 regarding the dog. And I still miss him!!
Anonymous says
Am also the anon above whose phone cannot autocorrect “rehome”- ugh!
PinkKeyboard says
First: Never discipline them for growling. It doesn’t teach them not to be aggressive, it teaches them not to give a verbal warning.
Second: I’d keep them separated using gates. I have two friends whose kids have been bitten in the face by small dogs. Small kids can be unnerving to dogs, they act unpredictably, are loud, move strangely, and just generally act in a strange manner.
Third: Adult dogs discipline puppies by growling and nipping, we aren’t accepting of that discipline of our human puppies.
Fourth: It may be worth it to look into re-homing. We have and love our giant dog (120 lbs) but he ADORES kids and is as gentle as you can get. We still have to be careful until they are moving so he doesn’t accidentally take them out and stomp on their face. Having to perpetually keep him separated and worry about biting seems incredibly stressful long term.
anon says
So I’d err on the side of caution here, as everyone’s telling you.
On the other hand, just wanted to say that our dog growls at my kids sometimes and I actually think it’s okay (and at this point she’s really proven herself). It’s her way of telling them that they are bugging her. She’s never escalated it, and they have definitely pulled on her. She’s also not as frightened as yours though – growling is just her way of saying she’s annoyed before she usually removes herself from the situation.
But definitely look at totality of the circumstances and then proceed with caution!
Anonymous says
+1
It’s good to coach kids to understand that growling means doggy wants to be left alone.
Anonymous says
I had a dog that was frightened of everything like OP’s (and have had other dogs along the way)– the always-scared dog is just another ballgame. Mine was scared of kids, and I didn’t have any at the time, so I thought I could work with her. We tried for months, but she ended up biting my young cousin and we had to rehome her. It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do and I mourned that loss for a very long time. I’ve only had cats since that happened. It was so, so hard!
AIMS says
+1. There is normal dog growling and scared dog growling. Very different. We recently had a whole incident with a dog at a BBQ and his owners kept saying “oh but he’s such a scaredy cat, he’s afraid of his own shadow, I can’t believe it…” but that’s exactly why.
Anon for this says
I just want to say I appreciate the responsible dog owners here. I am not good with dogs, due to an incident when I was a young child, and the way some dog owners brush off my fear is really frustrating.
lsw says
Has anyone else read the Ask a Manager where someone wrote in about how their coworker was singing nursery rhymes to himself? They apparently thought it was really creepy, but AAM responded that they probably just have a preschooler. I thought of that five minutes ago when I caught myself singing “Thomas, you’re the leader” aloud quietly while I loaded this s i te.
Cb says
I agree. I am so used to narrating life – dropped off at nursery this am and said aloud ‘Ok, right, off to work now…ooh look, a big red bus!’ My husband sings the Fisher Price farm songs.
anne-on says
Yup. I once asked a coworker if ‘she needed to go potty before we got in the car’. It was at the end of a loooong work day and I was just wiped and apparently my brain couldn’t handle work mode any longer. Thankfully she was also a mom and thought it was hilarious.
Anonymous says
Bahahaha…. I can’t stop “narrating may day”. When my friend was staying in with us when kiddo was about 8 months old she asked me why I just explained to her how to make toast. It has really escalated my talking to myself alone in my office (though it is down slightly from when I was preggo and I was actually talking to the baby… )
anon says
I still exclaim out loud when I see a fire truck go by, even if I’m with my coworkers. Oh, and my kids haven’t been obsessed with fire trucks for years.
Anonymous says
I love the bubbleguppies “line up” song. They should play it in gym classes.
KateMiddletown says
What time is it? It’s time for lunch! Even my 8 year old laughs at how juvenile but ear-wormy that is.
EB0220 says
“Line up, everybody line up!” and “What time is it? It’s time for lunch!” are endlessly useful in our house. “What time is it? It’s time for bed!” “What time is it? It’s time to eat!” etc etc
SC says
My kid loves Curious George, and for a couple of months, it was the only thing he wanted to watch. Netflix removed 2 of the movies, so we were left with an 8-episode DVD of the TV show and the Christmas Special. The Christmas Special begins with a song that goes, “Are you reeeady, for Christmas Day to come? Sing it with me, or if you’re a monkey hum.” Our whole family sings the “Are you reeeady” part frequently when we’re leaving the house. I’ve definitely caught myself singing it around normal adults.
Cate says
Definitely watched that christmas special last night… in September…
lsw says
We watched it last weekend!
SC says
We watched it SO many times in June and July. I feel like I don’t allow much screen time, but I guess it added up since it was the only thing he would watch for months!
Also, that song has been in my head since my morning reply.
Anonymous says
I know this has been posted many times and I’m disappointed I never copied it down – what is your best list for what to pack in a hospital bag? Thanks!
Anonymous says
It varies a lot from person to person. My must-haves were snacks, charged camera, phone + charger, flip-flops for the shower, nursing bras, sweatpants for wearing home, a going-home outfit for the baby and toiletries. I was happy to stay in my hospital gown the whole time (and I wore the mesh underwear, not Depends) but a lot of people like to change into their own clothes. IME they will give you everything you need for postpartum recovery (including stuff for your n*pples) and everything baby needs (diaper, wipes, clothes, blankets, formula if you use it, etc.)
Anonymous says
Just a PSA that “baby friendly” (aka “mother unfriendly” as I call them) hospitals won’t give formula unless a pediatrician signs off on it, and they generally won’t unless the baby has lost a dramatic amount of weight or otherwise seems ill. I had a baby that would nurse for an hour, sleep for 15 minutes and then start screaming again. I was in extreme pain and borderline psychotic from lack of sleep. I asked if we could have formula to supplement after a nursing session since the baby clearly wasn’t getting satisfied at the breast. They wouldn’t let me have any and told me I just had to “keep at it” and feed constantly, even after the extreme exhaustion of childbirth and more than two full days without sleep. My mom had to run out and buy formula and even then we got a lot of judgy glares from the nurses and admonishments that we shouldn’t give the baby formula. It was such a relief when we got home and DH and my mom could formula feed the baby in peace in between nursing sessions. My milk came in a couple of days later and I breastfed until the baby was 16 months old, fwiw.
Walnut says
Sounds like I need to add ‘validate formula availability’ to my list of questions to ask at the hospital tour.
AwayEmily says
If you do want to wear your own clothes make sure to bring more than you think you need because you will be so gross (bleeding, sweating, leaking, getting vomited on). I liked having my own PJ pants. If you are small-chested you can probably get away without a nursing bra, too.
AIMS says
Agree that it varies. Obviously some basic toiletries. I also always recommend granola bars, a long charging cord, n&pple balm and something to change into. Something comfy to wear home (you will not be quite back to your old size so make it stretchy) and something for the baby to wear home. Cotton underwear for the trip home is good and some super long maxis that will stick better than the hospital’s are a good idea, too. If your hospital has those newborn photoshoots and you think you might want to take advantage, pack a cute swaddle blanket or whatever you may like and a hat or two.
avocado says
If you are planning to labor in the tub, a two-piece swimsuit is nice to have. A surprising number of people will be in and out of the room while you’re in the tub, and you may be more comfortable in a swimsuit than on full display.
KateMiddletown says
Good call! I’m bringing old bottoms and just wearing whatever bra fits at that point.
GCA says
Just did this a month ago and I found the following useful.
During labor:
– Snacks and electrolyte drinks (some hospitals are stricter about snacking than others; most will say clear fluids are OK)
– Water bottle
– Tablet and charger/ phone and charger – handy for keeping family members posted and watching a little TV during labor, not that I had very much time to do so as things got intense very fast
After delivery:
– Snacks. *All the snacks.*
– Basic toiletries – toothbrush, toothpaste, soap and shampoo/ dry shampoo, moisturizer – and hairbrush
– Phone and charger
– Tablet and charger. We watched a fair bit of TV post-delivery. I would’ve liked to escape our room more, but there was a minor emergency – the roof leaked the first night we were in the maternity ward and there was a lot of repair/ maintenance work in the hallway
– Nursing bras and tanks plus nursing pads, although milk really comes in in full force only on the 2nd-3rd day or so
– Premixed formula and spare bottles because we were supplementing for various medical reasons (the hospital did give us premade formula and sterile single-use teats so we didn’t end up using ours, but I am not sure if all so-called ‘baby-friendly hospitals’ will do the same, which is a rant for another day)
– Something comfortable to wear home (maxi skirt/ sweatpants; none of us is being held to Kate Middleton standards, thank goodness)
– Something for baby to wear home
– 1-2 sets of whatever else stretchy and comfortable that you like to wear: baggy old t-shirts, nice PJs, sweatpants, scrubs, maternity leggings, etc.
anon says
Yes, bring your own water bottle. I hated the one the hospital gave me so bring one you like.
Also, it didn’t even occur to me to bring a cute outfit for baby for the car ride home so do that.
FP says
I would also add to bring a choice of items to wear home, in case you end up with a c-section and don’t want to have the waistband of sweatpants on your incision. A maxi dress was very comfortable for me.
Anonymous says
It varies, however, I’ve delivered 3 babies in 3 different hospitals with births of varying difficulties (though all vaginal). I’d say you must bring:
– toiletries **including shower gel or bar soap** one of my hospitals had a soap dispenser in the shower, the other two had nothing. I used baby wash until DH got something better ;)
– hairdryer (find out in advance- one hospital had hotel style cheapies, the other 2 had nothing)
– your own washcloth and towel. This sounds princess-y but the towels I had were so, so bad they hurt. A beach towel you don’t care about might be smart since you’ll probably bleed on it. But in my most recent Hosptial the washcloths were like actual sandpaper.
– charger for phone
– makeup
– water bottle- in one of my hospitals we got awesome liter jugs of water with straws that I could keep refilling. The other two just had the pitcher + plastic cup which was a huge pain since I drink about 60 gallons of water.
– underwear and clothes in a dark color/that you don’t care about.
Turtle says
Bring a pumping bra. I’ve talked to more people who, like me, had to pump in the hospital for various and unexpected reasons (in my case, DH was jaundice and had to take formula for the first 48 hours to help flush it out of her). I sat there hormonal, sobbing, and holding my pump to me… it was The.Worst.
KateMiddletown says
When are you due? Early October baby here!
anon says
your own pillow and a nursing pillow.
A colored folder with any paperwork you may need (copies of your birth plan, insurance information, car seat manual, list of medications). They will give you tons of papers and you can throw them in there too. It was helpful to be able to tell my husband “its in the Green folder,” rather than answer questions while trying to focus on contractions.
I also suggest a birthplan for everyone, it’s really less of a plan, and more a list of information and the nurses seemed to appreciate it and respected it. (its listed names/DOBs/allergies, Drs, who is allowed in the room during labor, we want to breastfeed, we don’t want them to bathe the baby, please dim the lights and please speak softly and so on)
If your baby book has a page like “first visitors” maybe bring that for people to sign, if you’re expecting visitors
Redux says
PSA: Target is having its car seat trade-in event. Read on for a DH-related gripe.
We are upgrading our car seats all at once– two new boosters for the 4-year old and two new conversion seats for the 1-year old. This is (obviously) costing us hundreds of dollars. I am deep in the reviews and have discussed with my DH multiple times, including sending him side-by-side comparisons of different models to see which will fit best in our cars, which will be easiest to tighten, etc. etc. We have visited Target once to have the kids sit in the seats, we have made 1 purchase so far, which DH installed last week. Yesterday, I told DH about the trade-in event at Target, the coupon, the recycling program. DH went to Target with one of the expired car seats. When he came back, I asked him for the coupon as I had decided which seat to buy online. He said, “oh, you wanted me to bring the coupon home? I just left it in the car seat aisle.” WTF do you think this has all been about?!?! AARRRGGGHHH.
Anonymous says
Arrggh! We just had to buy a new dishwasher. I asked DH multiple times if he wanted input, since he does the majority of the dishes. He kept saying no. I did extensive research and chose one that Consumer Reports highly recommended. DH won’t stop b!tching about how it doesn’t hold enough dishes and how could I have chosen this one, why didn’t I get a different one, etc. I literally asked you 100 times if you wanted input. I just can’t.
Anonymous says
I would 100% make DH call the store and tell them it was accidentially lost. Ask them to cancel it and issue a new one.
FP says
We are married to the same husband. We have a newborn and I finally got the bottles out to start pumping – and spent a morning cleaning out a cabinet, washing all of the pump parts and bottles, and sanitizing everything. He came home from work on Friday evening and I proudly showed off how organized everything was. Cut to Saturday morning when I ask him to get a bottle ready… “Where’s the bottle stuff?” DUDE.
Redux says
I really try not to be one of those people who is always like, Men are helpless and dumb! and I reject that there is some gender normative thing happening here. But sometimes I just have to shake my head and walk away. Get it together, DH!
AwayEmily says
Any recommendations for toddler slippers? Preferably something a 2.5 year old can put on by herself. I’d rather not spend a ton of money, since I’m not positive she will actually wear them.
AIMS says
We have crocs for this purpose. Bonus is they are wide enough that it doesn’t matter if she gets the right one on each foot.
avocado says
I used to buy slippers with a ribbed cuff around the ankle from Old Navy. They were typically available a little closer to the winter holidays.
Carine says
We love the LL Bean fleece slippers for that age – they have the cuff around the ankle so they stay on and the bottoms don’t slip on our hardwood floors. All my kids would leave them on happily, but I’m not sure how easy they’d be for a toddler to put on themselves.
Butter says
Piggybacking to ask if anyone has recs for a toddler bathrobe? Not the fleece kind, but the towel kind for after showers. We used one at a hotel and the toddler loved it, but I haven’t been able to find one similar online. Specifically looking for one with a belt or tie, not just the hooded towel kind.
Anonymous says
The Company Store.
anon says
I got one at Gap last year with bear ears and my 3.5 year old LOVES it.
I’ve gotten slippers at old navy and kohl’s. I’ve seen cute ones at target.
Anonymous says
We use a terry swim suit cover-up from Land’s End for this. It was mostly an accident, but works well when kiddo will actually keep anything but just her diaper on after bath time ;-)
BabyBoom says
I recently got Kamik Kids Cozylodge slippers for both my 2 and 3 year old. Both toddlers love them and insist on putting them on every morning – and it is no where near slipper weather here yet. My 2 year old has zero problems getting them on by herself. I ordered the slippers on zappos.
We also got nautica robes at costco for each toddler this summer. I think they are more considered a swim coverup, but they have been very useful.
Anon in NYC says
My 3 year old suddenly seems to be filled with “fears” of all sorts of things. Sometimes it seems legitimate – like when she wakes up in the middle of the night and hears a noise – and other times it’s things like her macaroni and cheese. She cannot articulate why she’s afraid of anything – the noises or her dinner – so I’m not sure how to help her. At times, it also feels a bit manipulative although I’m trying to not get too exasperated.
Any tips would be appreciated!
Anonymous says
I think it’s fairly normal. I was scared of jello (and many other things) at that age. My parents still make fun of me for it. A preschool teacher told my parents that I was probably very smart because my imagination was so overactive. Not to brag, but I’ve tested very high on IQ tests and went to a top college and grad school. So maybe you have a smart little kiddo :) But either way I’m sure she’ll be fine and grow out of it!
Anon in NYC says
lol at afraid of jello! such a hilarious kid thing.
AIMS says
We are going through this too. It runs the gamut from reasonable (swimming pools) to super random (baths, fans, wind, the dust buster). I err on the side of mostly not treating it as a manipulative. For mine, I think noise is a big factor. She’s afraid of things in different ways so there is also no one size fits all approach. For some stuff touching the object makes her feel better. So she went through a phase of being afraid of the vacuum and we would hold her and let her turn it on and off to feel some control, which helped. With the pool, we went to swim class and seeing other kids not freak out helped. We also watched a lot of Daniel Tiger because apparently she was afraid of the drain in the tub and in the pool, and Mr. Rogers/DT have a song for that one. DT is generally a good resource for this – lots of fears: tub, lightning bugs, etc. Some things like the giant fan in our laundry room, we have just given up on for now. It’s not worth the fight. We just don’t take her to do laundry. One thing we also try to do is to stress the positive. Like she freaks out at the fan and I’ll say “Oh I know it’s loud and you don’t like it, but it helps keep the room cool by moving the air around and that’s a good thing!” I also think kids take their cues from adults so I try to not promote fears generally even where I have them (bugs, etc.)
AIMS says
I should add that where appropriate, we’re not above using “tools” – like we have little noise headphones at home or goggles for swim class. I think it gives the kid something to do when they’re panicking. So now if she hears noises I’ll say “want to put your head phones on?” and 9/10 she doesn’t but it calms her down. For a while, though, I did think I was going to have that weird kid goes out in a ton of protective gear everywhere.
AwayEmily says
What AIMS said. Also, ask her what would make her feel better…maybe not in the moment but later on when she’s calm. Kids can come up with surprisingly creative solutions (a recent one from mine is “I hold mama’s hand and sing twinkle twinkle little star”). And you can offer some suggestions, too. But having a known ‘thing that they do’ when they get scared can be comforting.
Anon in NYC says
Thanks, all! Good idea to develop routines or solutions to help her calm down. DH and I will have to start that.
Right now we’ve been a little helpless in the face of “I’m scared of my dinner!”
Anon in NYC says
Thanks, all – I posted an earlier response but it appeared to have been eaten. Good ideas about asking her for ways to comfort her or setting up little tricks for her to feel brave. DH and I will have to implement them!
Bringing the potty training party to daycare says
My 2 y/o is doing great with potty training at home. She went all weekend with no accidents (except at night- we still have her in a diaper bc she wakes up wet). She’d been doing very well at home so last Friday we tried undies at daycare and she had a 100% fail rate. She apparently would st on the potty, then get off and have an accident not 10 minutes later.
Today when I dropped her off we tried the potty first and she went and there was much celebrating. I think she’s both not quite comfortable telling her teachers and also still getting used to what it feels like- though she’s mastered “i go potty now” at home.
With my first we had a similar issue where she was rock solid at home and it took MONTHs for her to be OK at daycare. I’m trying to avoid that again…but it seems like that’s our destiny.
Ideas?
Anonymous says
Have the teachers take her every 15-20 minutes and work up the spacing from there. Don’t rely on kid to identify that she has to go in enough time for a teacher to be available to take her.
Bringing the potty party to daycare says
Update: 100% success rate today! I feel much better.
FWIW they were taking her often, and she flat out refused to try. But today she tried every time. Phew!
prone to tears says
Hi all, I have a 5 yo daughter in kindergarten who is very prone to tears. She spills water on herself, tears, her 3 yo brother makes annoying sounds, tears, a friend knocks over her magnatiles, tears. Last week I volunteered at her school and she cried through the entire lunch period because of the aforementioned magnatile episode. Her music teacher pulled me aside to tell me my DD has been crying more this year (was an issue last year too) in class. I don’t want to stifle her emotions, but any ideas on how to help her cope? We have talked about taking deep breaths, counting to 10, etc. I am worried that she is missing out on the fun at school but getting in these crying tailspins. I’ve also been getting her to bed earlier too, just to rule out tiredness. Her ped told me at her 5 yr check up she should grow out of this by the end of kindergarten, but I am not so sure. I also can’t find any books on how to self calm or how to figure out what is a big deal vs what is a small deal. Any experience would be so helpful!
Sarabeth says
I don’t have advice, but my five year old girl is basically exactly the same. We’ve done meditation stuff with her (although she’s not super into it), worked on taking big breaths, etc. But she still has enormous meltdowns all the time. So, following?
Anon for this says
I’m struggling at work and looking for any advice/insight.
About 3 months after returning from maternity leave, I was offered a promotion. I took it believing my old role would be backfilled and I would start this new job pretty soon after. Fast forward 7 months: my role has never been backfilled and I am still doing two jobs. I am drowning, I am not doing well at either job, and furthermore I’m now at the point where I’m thinking about getting pregnant with number 2.
My concerns are 1) I have not proven myself at all in new role, so I need to wait on getting pregnant again and 2) generally I just need to figure out a way to cope with everything falling through the cracks.
Common sense would say this isn’t my fault and I accepted the job under false pretenses, but I’m VERY hesitant to even hint at that to my boss or coworkers, because I don’t want to be perceived as whiny/complaining/making excuses. I’m finding myself more and more underwater in both of my roles, and I don’t know how to manage. Is there anything I can do without seeming whiny/ungrateful? I am always on pins and needles trying to prove myself after having come back from maternity leave. So far all I’ve done is asked my boss what the progress is on backfilling the old role, and he says they’re “close”, but won’t give me a date as to when I will be able to transition fully to my new role.
anon says
If you haven’t already, you need to have a frank conversation with your boss about how taking on two roles is affecting you, and which projects are at risk as a result of being spread too thin. Use the phrase “this is not sustainable, and we need a plan for moving forward.”
You are not at fault here; your organization is failing to have a plan other than “pile more work on Anon at 1:21.”
I have been here, and it was awful. It wasn’t good for my self-esteem, my mental health, nor my outlook on my job. Frankly, it sort of damaged my relationship with work and now I’m hesitant to take on any new responsibilities, for fear of my workload spiraling out of control again.
I don’t know what to say about your plans to TTC #2, honestly.
OP says
Thanks. My concern is coming off like I can’t handle it when I talk to my boss. I’ve also been in similar situations before and that’s why this is giving me such anxiety…I know where this is going. And I wasn’t contemplating getting pregnant with a toddler at home!
Is this a “know your boss” thing? I actually don’t know him that well, since I only started reporting to him with this new role.
anon says
With a boss you don’t know well, I think you have to de-personalize the conversation a bit and point out specific areas that are suffering as a result of doing two jobs. Also, come with specific suggestions about what needs to be a priority vs. what can be put on the back burner (or at least de-prioritized) until your old position is filled.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
anon says
Pros/cons of owning a trampoline? I REALLY want one for our kids. Both are little spark plugs who benefit greatly from having a physical outlet for their energy. They’ve jumped on trampolines at gymnastics class and friends’ houses and love them. So do I, honestly. DH is adamantly opposed: injury risk, first and foremost, and his dad (a former insurance agent) constantly harped on the liability of having a trampoline.
Anon in NYC says
I mean, I think the huge cons are the ones that your DH and FIL pointed out. Risk if injury/death to your own kids, and the risk of it happening to another kid. I haven’t done much research on it, but it seems like it’s a not-insignificant degree of risk too. I love trampolines, and my kid seems to like them, but that’s something I will gladly leave to a playspace or a trampoline park. (Granted – I do not have the space for one!)
Anonymous says
Every house where there was a trampoline when I was growing up ultimately played host to a medical emergency (thankfully nothing serious, but a few broken arms, major cuts necessitating stitches, etc).
Anon says
I was completely indifferent to them until I witnessed what goes on in my ‘hood. My neighbor has one and we watch all the neighborhood kids “sneak” into their yard when said neighbor is out of town (which is every weekend during the summer). We were trying to be a good neighbor as we’re close with them and police it for them, but it’s exhausting so we’ve given up. We made neighbor aware this is happening and they’re trying to handle on their own. I cannot fathom the liability this presents. At least my pool is behind a locked fence and has a safety gate at the pool’s edge.
Anon says
To clarify: “sneak” into their yard and jump on their trampoline at all hours, day and night (night trampolining with no lights in the yard). Just waiting for someone to get seriously injured.
Anonymous says
We have friends who had high schoolers sneak into their pool at night. They too had a locked privacy fence (no gate, but their yard is huge and the fence is around the pool only and not the entire yard – so you’d never be playing around the pool unless you were actually using the pool if that makes sense). They ended up setting up a motion camera, figuring out who it was, and then talking to the parents.
Anon says
We have a nighttime motion camera, too. Totally get no amount of security for an outdoor feature like a pool or trampoline is bulletproof. Still, I feel like pools are well known hazards whereas trampolines are maybe a little more casual, and potentially more inviting for a risky-but-not-that-risky adolescent testing boundaries.
Anonymous says
AAP recommends against them and I know a few gymnastics coaches who don’t like them for home use because kids are not usually sufficiently monitored by people knowledgable about their use.
Gymnastics mom says
There are many gymnastics coaches who advise against home trampolines not only because of the lack of qualified supervision, but also because home trampolines are not designed to bounce the same way as real trampolines and are more liable to throw the jumper off. Insurance rates and liability for invited and uninvited users are also of concern.
My child is not permitted to use any trampoline outside her gym or without a qualified coach in attendance.
Anonymous says
With the liability, is it still as big of a deal as it once was? When I was a child, I knew one family with a trampoline. And it was definitely a huge draw. But now they’re so common that I tend to wonder if it is that big of a thing anymore. That said, I doubt we’ll ever have one. Hubby is very much opposed, and I am indifferent.
JDMD says
The risks of trampolines are too high for me to feel comfortable letting my kids on them. I have several friends who are either orthopedic surgeons or married to orthopedic surgeons, and trampolines are absolutely forbidden by all of them.
Any chance your kids would jump rope instead? It’s great for exhausting them, and there are all kind of crazy tricks they can learn. Double-Dutch is great, too, if you have room and 3+ kids.
Anonymous says
My neighbors had one when I was in high school. Their son was on the track team and amazing at high jump. But yes, lots of neighborhood kids would go jump when they were not home. No fence in their yard, and it backed up to a pond ringed by houses, so many, many people could see it. There was a developmentally disabled older teenager in the neighborhood and he in particular would show up all the time, no matter how often he was told not to, and would get really belligerent and aggressive if asked to leave.
I wouldn’t consider a trampoline in my own yard for injury and liability reasons. I’d feel like I needed monitor use of it all the time in a way that I just don’t when my kids and their friends are running around playing tag or whatever.
AIMS says
We have some family friends with one and it’s been fine? They have a tall safety thing around it which you can lock, if you wanted. Their kids are older – youngest is 10. It’s been several years and so far everyone’s been responsible. But obviously it’s a risk.
Anonymous says
The book baby 411 is written by a pediatrician and she says she doesn’t let her children go on trampolines. I’m with your DH. I would be a hard no on this as well.
Redux says
I’m a hard no on at-home trampolines, too, after my little brother tore his ACL, MCL, and Lateral Miniscus doing nothing but run-of-the-mill jumping on our cousin’s trampoline. As people mentioned above, those injuries are orthopedic surgery nightmares and because he was injured as a child when he was still growing, they were never able to fully repair his injury and now (as an adult) he still suffers from it. At the same time, I do think they are more ubiquitous now than they were when we were kids and so I wonder if they’ve gotten safer somehow. Sounds like no?
Spirograph says
I remember big metal springs and gaps between them around the edges from when I was a kid, but the ones I’ve seen more recently have pads over the springs and usually have the tall nets around the edge so you can’t fly off and fall to the ground. I don’t think it would prevent the type of jumping-related orthopedic injuries you mention, though.
anon says
Arg, I suppose everyone has talked some sense into me. ;) They’re so ubiquitous in my area that it’s easy to overlook the downsides.
So, any ideas for awesome games/equipment that’ll entice older kids into the backyard? DS is an active kid, but isn’t sporty — he has almost no interest in kicking around a soccer ball, for example.
Anonymous says
How old are we talking? If you have a space to consider a trampoline, you probably could fit at least a small swing set. We had one with multi-level platforms, sandbox, a slide, swings, rings, climbing rope, balance beam (just a long 4×4), and a flipping bar. My siblings and I made up all kinds of games with the neighborhood kids out there while we were in elementary school. It was a pirate ship, castle suitable for storming, islands in a pool of lava, etc depending on the day. By middle school, I was mostly riding my bike with my friends to various places to get away from my younger siblings.
For games, if you can round up at least 3-4 kids, I really liked SPUD, kick the can, and red light green light.
anon says
We have a swingset, but my older kiddo is outgrowing it. Getting my kid outside when there aren’t other kids to play with is the biggest battle, honestly.
SC says
I don’t know if this is feasible, but around the age I was outgrowing swing sets, I biked all the time. I know things are changing with respect to letting kids out and about in the neighborhood, but in a safe neighborhood, 8-11 seems like the idea age for the limited independence of a bicycle. (Alright, since I admitted it last week, I was a nerd and rode a scooter until a friend’s parents taught me to ride a bike when I was around 9.)
Anonymous says
I got really into adventure & survival stories (think Hatchet, Island of the Blue Dolphins, Julie of the Wolves) at some point when I was in mid-elementary. My parents got me an age-appropriate how-to book about wilderness survival, and I would go build “shelters” out in the woods behind my yard. It wasn’t super active in terms of burning energy, but at least it got me outside! and it was a good solitary activity.
Anonymous says
How old are your kids? Get a geo climbing dome. $150 and my 5 and 3 y/is love it, as does our 8 y/o neighbor. Or one of these: https://express.google.com/u/0/product/8289990031997944909_950027061337076755_105747?utm_source=google_shopping&utm_medium=tu_cu&utm_content=eid-lsjeuxoeqt%2Ceid-ygcnqnyulq>im=CKe0lbHrjZG0iAEQ4ZmAlbPbhvVhGLCmpGsiA1VTRCiQv4bdBQ&utm_campaign=105747
Anonymous says
Jumperaoo is the brand we have played on before. All the bounce, not nearly as dangerous.
Seafinch says
Hard no. Every doctor or physio I know says they are appallingly dangerous. I am the absolute last helicopter parent on the planet but they are just not worth it. Additionally, if you read the fine print, no kid under six should ever be on one because of the risk of damage to bones which are too soft. This becomes very difficult to police and no one knows it.
Anonymous says
Pro: bouncy!
Con: serious injury and death.
Hmmmmmm.
Thermometer? says
Is there a specific type of basal body thermometer I should get? Or will any do at a drugstore? Got my AF today so going to try charting now.
Anonymous says
I got a generic drugstore one, and it was completely adequate.
Anonymous says
I just got one off of Amazon, but ultimately ovulation test strips were much more effective for TTC.
BigLaw Sr Assoc (of Color) says
Love the Fenty Beauty line. First foundation I can use off the shelf (450) – I used to have to mix several together. I also use the skinsticks for contour (espresso matte)/highlight (cinnamon bronze).
Anonymous says
I know people have talked about a specific brand of baby socks that don’t fall off… was it Hanna Anderson? I have a 6-month old and we’re getting into sock season.
Anonymous says
If you have a girl, the answer is tights!
Anon in NYC says
I actually don’t like the Hanna socks (and I love almost everything Hanna). I really like Gap socks.
Anonymous says
So, three kids in, I still haven’t found the answer. I did, however, more or less succeed in getting my kids to wear baby sock-slipper things (they sell them at Hannah but I think there are cheaper versions elsewhere too) that were harder for them to pull off.
Anonymous says
Hope you see this but we liked H&M socks!
Anonymous says
Late to the game but yes, HA socks were the only ones that stayed on our kids feet!