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My biggest “power struggle” with my son is about food. He’s generally good as far as quantity is concerned but is so averse to trying new foods, and there’s only a handful of things I can give him for dinner that I know I won’t have to fight with him about. I am following a lot of toddler feeding Instagrams, which I am actually finding really helpful and informative. An interesting product one of the accounts recommended is this Iron Fish that you boil to add iron to food. When I googled the product, there was a scientific study that came up that said it does actually work, though I didn’t do quite a deep dive and I’m certainly not a scientist. (You can find information at luckyironfish.com.) If your child doesn’t love meat or iron-rich foods (or I’m sure I can even use this for myself), it’s worth checking out. It’s $30 at Amazon. Lucky Iron Fish This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Lana Del Raygun says
Can I just hang it on the wall? It’s so adorable.
Anonymous says
Yes — hang it on a wall. Then go get a Lodge cast iron skillet and cook in that.
Anon says
Agree. I was just thinking that cooking in cast iron would likely accomplish the same thing.
Anonymous says
IDK aren’t cast iron skillets a lot of work to maintain. And not exactly suitably sized for pasta boiling or soup which are the two main ways I would see this being realistic.
Anon says
We cook every night in our cast irons and my two good eaters were still iron deficient at 1-1.5. So it’s not a perfect solution. (Though cast irons are actually extremely easy to maintain. They barely need washing and we use enough oil while cooking that we’ve never had to reseason or do anything special.)
Anonymous says
Is this thing subliminally indoctrinating you to become Canadian?
Lana Del Raygun says
I’m already Canadian, so I guess it’s subliminally indoctrinating me to buy it.
Anonymous says
How/when have people with kids on the spectrum told the child him/herself? My twins are 2, boy has ASD. He is very high functioning but not very self-aware. Girl twin knows that BT goes to the “special doctor” (ST/OT) to help him learn to talk better, and she knows that sometimes he has trouble saying what he means, but we haven’t labeled it with her. We watched our first Sesame Street with Julia yesterday, and that seems like a good opener as he gets more aware, but any strategies/wording for incorporating it into the general knowledge of the family versus making a big announcement would be helpful!
ekat says
I have experience of this from the kid side, and I don’t really remember, which suggests to me that it was just a thing my parents taught me to know about myself. I think 2-3 is about the right age to start that process. For me, there was a celebrity with my diagnosis, and all the comparisons got old by elementary school, but I imagine it was useful when I was really little. “He’s so cool, let’s get some of his music. Hey, do you know he has disability just like you?” Sorry this is not more helpful, but I wanted to comment to say that I’m really glad you’re thinking about this. A lot of parents of ASD kids — or kids with other disabilities — make IMHO an absolutely unforgivable decision not to “label” their kid. Which in my mind is depriving a child of a really important tool to contextualize themselves and the world and how other people respond to them. Not to mention totally hamstringing the kid’s ability to learn to advocate for themselves and their needs as they grow. And I think the impulse is all about parental shame and disability phobia. So yeah. Definitely tell, tell early, tell often. It will doubtless raise some short-term issues at some point, perhaps in the twin relationship, but that’s just a thing you are all going to have to figure out no matter what.
So Anon says
I would discuss this question with whomever provided the ASD diagnosis. My son, 8, was diagnosed with ASD this fall by a developmental pediatrician and confirmed by a child psychologist last week. I asked both about their opinion about when to tell our son. I know every situation may differ, but here is my take: My son is “high functioning,” and goes to OT every week to help with certain issues and skills. He struggles mightily with making friends, the give and take of conversation, has exclusive special interests and is very literal. We decided not to tell him about his specific diagnosis because he does not understand what it means, the stigma surrounding it and may inadvertently tell folks who do not know what to do with the information or say inappropriate things. (E.g., I recently told someone who responded, “but he can talk! and he doesn’t flap his hands in front of his face.” I am happy to provide education in that situation, but I don’t want my 8 year old in that spot.)
We do discuss in our family that everyone has strengths, weaknesses and that we all have things that we are working on. Mommy has struggled with her brain telling her that she should be worried/stressed about things that she doesn’t need to be (i.e. anxiety) and that mommy sees someone and takes medication to help. Mommy also sprained her ankle and goes to a special doctor to help make it all better and so that she doesn’t sprain the same ankle again. His little sister has trouble with pronouncing certain words, so she sees someone at school to help with her pronunciation. I think framing in terms of “we are all different and that is wonderful” has helped in our family. We have read stories about kids with ASD (A Boy called Bat), differences and disabilities, and are working it into our general understanding as a family.
So Anon says
Wanted to add: We plan on telling him when he is late elementary middle school when he starts asking the questions that will inevitably come our way. It is not my intent to hide anything.
Amomynous says
I think this should be like adoption: the kid shouldn’t remember not knowing. There are some really angry/heartbreaking stories out there about people who got diagnoses as kids and we’re never told. And then they were depressed /suicidal /angry and got re-diagnosed as adults. There’s definitely a feeling of “my parents were ashamed” “my parents didn’t support me” “my parents let me suffer as a teen and adult”. I’d look into some disability rights advocates websites instead of asking neurotypical adults what makes them most comfortable.
Anonymous says
Thoughts on how to talk about your pregnancy at work? Now that it’s common knowledge, people keep asking me about how it’s going. If I say all is fine, they’re like “wow, sounds like you’re having a really easy pregnancy!” which makes me feel weird, because no, but I don’t want to mention too many complaints either.
rosie says
“Mmhmm” and move on (walk away or change subject) is the easiest/least confrontational. This is sooooo annoying.
Anonymous says
That’s a weird response to you saying fine. I just said “fine” or something similar because I hate talking about my medical stuff. No one ever said anything about my pregnancy being easy. If you want to head off those complaints maybe you could say something like “baby and I are healthy so far” or something like that?
Anonymous says
Fine thanks!
Repeated 7-47 times a day until you give birth.
Anonymous says
And then for the next 18 years.
Pogo says
hahah yup.
Emily S. says
And then quickly, “Thanks for asking! How are you?” I found that asking how that person was doing was effective. Doubly effective was asking about their kids. :)
NYCer says
I would occasionally try to joke and say something like “Oh, you know, getting bigger every day”, but in general just said everything was good/fine and then turned around and asked them how they were doing.
Anon says
I had a terrible, horrible pregnancy in all the ways one can except for the one saving grace that as miserable as it was, I and baby were both healthy and doing fine. So I didn’t feel like “fine” was an appropriate response for me (particularly at work where I was still running out of meetings to vomit at you know week 37). I would say something like “managing through, but I hear the end result is worth it” or something light-hearted like that and then ask how they were doing.
CCLA says
Ugh, I hated this part. People also tended to ask me how appointments were and if everything was looking good or something similarly intrusive. I definitely bluntly told a colleague at least once that it was an inappropriate question as to whether my appointment went well and all was good, because if it weren’t I wouldn’t be likely to tell him (all was fine, but come on). With my colleagues that I was close with, I had no issues talking about how I was feeling and appreciated their interest for the most part, but when random people from other departments whom I’d never interacted with before started engaging frequently, a few responses of “fine” with a serious RBF and walk away worked on 95% of them.
Anonymous says
If it was my close team (where almost everyone had a child) then I was truthful. There’s nothing weird about saying “good but my back hurts today”. I did have one coworker who asked 1) how dialated I was in the last few weeks and 2) if they should call 911 if my water breaks (no, I’ll take an Uber home, yes I have extra clothes here). I then had to explain to everyone that there’s zero reason to call 911 unless I’m unconscious or bleeding to death.
Boston Legal Eagle says
People are weird around pregnant women – they feel the need to strike up a conversation because the baby bump is SO obvious, even if the pregnant woman has most likely heard the same question/comment a million times that day. I had a stock of “due XX, yes, it’s a boy, feeling fine (or tired)” for pretty much everyone at work because those are the likely questions you’ll get. I found it annoying too to be on such display, but I think people really don’t know what else to say and I would take it as just them trying to make small talk.
TheElms says
There isn’t a right or wrong answer to this question. I’ve had some minor in the grand scheme of things complications, so once I told people, I decided to tell people everything, largely. I had many more doctors appointments than is typical and people were noticing that anyway, so it just seemed easier. My office is pretty gossipy so I get a lot of questions as a result, but I try to just roll with it.
My take is while it can be intrusive, people are asking because they want to be nice / see if they can help/ know if I’m ok. I’m not going to be overly critical of their inability to phrase their question better. Life is too short. But I’m generally ok sharing my life at work and I know other people are not as comfortable.
I suppose if I thought people were asking for a nefarious purpose (like to not give me work or spread rumors about my competence or lack thereof) I would feel differently, in which case I’d probably go with RBF to ward off the questions in the first place / give a “everything is great with a big smile” response in an attempt to kill them with kindness / not give them what they wanted approach.
Law Mama says
“Tired but okay!” seems to satisfy people
Anon says
Tips for calming anxious toddlers at the doctor? DD is 2.5 and has a rare genetic condition, so we see a number of specialists every few months. Lately she’s been getting more anxious/crazy at specialist visits (even if they involve minimal poking or prodding) and we have one next week that I’m already nervous for. Any tips that help your kids?
Anonymous says
We sometimes watch the Daniel Tiger episode where Daniel has his check up with Dr. Anna before we go to the doctor. And before shots. It helps.
octagon says
Same, and like on that episode, we draw a picture and talk about what’s going to happen at the appointment. If it’s a new doctor, I will call ahead and ask about the appointment so I can prep kiddo. I also include a page that basically signals, the doctor might have to do other things, but she will talk about them in the moment.
Mama Llama says
Do you have any doctor toys at home? We have a doctor kit and white coat set, and at that age my kid loved to give me and her stuffed animals check ups. If you haven’t tried it, maybe acting out the appointments like that could help take some of the edge off.
AwayEmily says
We had a lot of success with our anxious kid actually letting her bring the doctor toys with her. We’d say “ok, time to pack your bag with the doctor stuff!” and giving her ownership over packing it all in her backpack and taking it with her seemed to make her feel more in control.
SC says
The Daniel Tiger episode has a companion book–Daniel Tiger Goes to the Doctor. Reading the book helped too because there’s more interaction. The doctor kit is great too, and my kid loved playing doctor for a long while. (Kiddo received the book and doctor kit as a bundle. The bundle is outrageously expensive on Amazon, but you can buy both items for under $20.)
So Anon says
My son, 8, has a chronic health condition, where he is seen by a specialist every 3-4 months when all is going well. We also do routine blood work. A doctor kit and playing doctor with stuffies really helped ease any anxiety about the appointments. I know there are different thoughts on this, but we also separate any blood work from actual doctor’s appointments. The result is that he is comfortable interacting with and talking to the docs because he is not worried about being poked. We do the lab work a least a week before or after, and go to the office just for the lab work. We do a special treat on those days and acknowledge that the blood work is not comfortable or fun.
Anon OP says
Thanks. We also separate bloodwork and doctor visits. I will have to try playing doctor with her and see if that helps.
anon says
Bribery? I am late to this but if you check again, we bribe our kid with a special candy at the doctor because his anxiety it so so high. Tiny M&M when he gets on the scale without a freak out, tiny M&M when he lets them measure his height, etc.
Anonymous says
Why not just give a multivitamin? A picky kid is going to be deficient in more than just iron. And I’d be hesitant to use a product designed for developing countries – I can imagine that people in rural Cambodia need iron supplementation far in excess of what even the pickiest American needs. Our breads and cereals are iron-fortified, unlike in developing countries. Too much iron can be really toxic so adding iron into the diet is something you have to do fairly carefully.
Anonymous says
Eh, my kids were nearly vegan at first (I am so, so, so not). There is iron in cereal (and a lot of other things) and we stirred in oatmeal baby food into sweet potato baby food. And cooked in cast iron (for ourselves). They were fine. But I was concerned that they rejected pasta at first — I am from New Jersey and it seemed proof that I had alien baby changelings or something. They eat pasta now, but only one shape of it (b/c again . . . crazy changeling children).
Anonymous says
Not all kids’ multivitamins contain iron. And the ones that do are often liquid and gross. Especially at the toddler/younger preschool age group.
Anon says
You can mix them in applesauce or oatmeal or something like that to disguise the taste. My kid has never had a problem with it, as long as it’s mixed in a food she likes, and she’s very picky.
rakma says
My kids will only take the liquid ones that smell like death. Straight, not mixed into things. Kids are just weird sometimes.
Anonymous says
FYI our ped said we could cut one of the flintstones chewables with iron in half when my son was younger than the recommended age – worth exploring if your kid won’t take the nasty liquids, which also stain like crazy when your child spits them out on their clothing (speaking from experience here!)
anon says
Half a Flintstones vitamin is the recommended dose for 2/3 year olds per the bottle. Or do you mean for under 2?
Anonymous says
I can’t remember when we started doing this. Probably not much before 2, so this may not be a ground breaking tip.
anon says
Agree that before they can take chewables, getting iron into littles can be really tough. My kids tested anemic at 18 mo and we were already giving iron-fortified foods, so the only option was adding the drops. They learned to refuse the drops straight from the dropper and could smell them mixed into anything I could think of, even juice, which we don’t otherwise offer. I tried various brands, iron only, iron as part of multi, etc. Ultimately, I couldn’t get enough iron in them, and they still tested anemic at 2. At that point, ped suggested switching to a chewable multi with iron. Now my kids beg for their vitamin every morning…
So Anon says
Iron can be really tough to get into the kids that need it, and we tried everything we could to make it happen, including do more cooking with cast iron. Many of the products that are iron fortified contain gluten, so for a kid with celiac’s there are limited options. To add to the fun, many multivitamins contain gluten without specifying that they do, so we could not give a multivitamin without risking a reaction.
For moms of school-aged kids says
I work and my kids go to school (and then stay at at-school after-school, which has about 40 kids in it, most younger than my kids). A lot of kids go home (SAHMs, nannies, babysitters, WFH parent) after school.
I feel like coordinate one play date per week per kid is ideal, but just never happens. It’s like a lot of legwork to work out 1-2 per month per kid (I have 2). How can I be better at this? And how long until kids run their own social lives (or are we always involved b/c unless you can walk next door, a grownup will need to take you until maybe far along in middle school if not high school)?
I feel bad for my kids b/c not only did I go home after school (teacher mom) but I could wander around my 3-street neighborhood and find a million kids to do something with spontaneously. We only have a couple of kids in our ‘hood (a lot of babies, so will be good when mine are old enough to babysit / be mothers’ helpers, and a bunch of high schoolers).
I feel like I need more skillz and don’t know how to get more >:-|
anon says
OK, honestly? I plan playdates almost never. I feel like the before/aftercare program is like one giant playdate. When there is a kid we want to foster a closer relationship with, I will invite them to come with us somewhere — like if we’re taking a family outing to the dinosaur museum, it’s really not that hard to add another kid. Between hanging out with other families and my big extended family, I don’t feel like my kids are suffering from lack of social interaction!
Based on what I’ve seen, kids start handling more of their social lives by middle school … but of course they still need parents to be taxi drivers. :)
Anonymous says
Thanks — I used to think afterschool was a big playdate, until my kids’ friends started leaving it. It’s been hard on them and they truly miss seeing friends that they used to be around for hours every day to seeing them maybe once a month.
The afterschool program is used a lot by the K-1-2 parents and then eventually a lot of parents get an afterschool nanny or pair up with neighbors or have their kids in sports with afterschool practices. So by 3/4/5 grades, there aren’t a lot of older kids left in it :(
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
So, my kid is 16 months old, and I don’t know really…anything about anything, but my parents never scheduled playdates for my brother or me. I know that’s a thing now, but (gently) it sounds like you were putting pressure on yourself, and that you are doing great!
My parents ran a business, so were working FT and we went to the YMCA after school in the elementary years. Our social calendars were dominated by scouts and weekends with family/family friends, who all had kids of similar ages. It was a lot of dinner parties where the parents socialized downstairs and we played in the backyard or watched Mrs. Doubtfire and played Super Nintendo upstairs, with the occasional picnic or trip to the beach thrown in.
Anonymous says
We benefit from the population density of NYC in this, as we live within 1/2 mile of everyone my son goes to school with. Since we have an only child and he entertains himself much better with a friend, we often do 1/weekend, but they are “planned” extremely last minute. I just text the other parents. And we only do them with families for whom the parents are at least kind of my friends too. One is almost a standing play date at this point – friend drops off her son on her way to take the daughter to gymnastics.
Anonymous says
Just to be clear – we do this because it actually makes our life easier, not because we think our son would be socially deprived otherwise. We don’t invite kids over that require a lot of maintenance, only ones that he plays well with. And he’s almost 7; I think we did less when he was younger.
avocado says
I think a play date a week is incredibly ambitious. My daughter is in middle school and gets in most of her socialization through extracurriculars. Her little group of school friends all decided to do a couple of time-intensive school clubs together. She plays a travel sport, so she spends 12 hours a week practicing with her sports friends and many weekends together at competitions. There is also a lot more carpooling than there was during the car seat years, which provides additional opportunities for socialization. The kids also interact a lot via group text.
Our kid and her friends will occasionally get together to watch movies or play games or have a sleepover. They typically arrange these gatherings themselves with parental input on scheduling. The lucky few who live within biking distance will also get together spontaneously. The kids are all so busy that their schedules don’t actually sync up that often, but their gatherings are more frequent now than in the play date years.
I will say that it is a lot easier to have 13-year-olds over than elementary school kids. You don’t have to make the awkward phone call to set up a play date, worry about serving the right snacks, or make sure everyone is playing nicely and having fun. You basically just have to provide large amounts of food and make yourself invisible. We also know the parents pretty well after all these years and have become friends with many of them, so everything is easier and more casual. I can just text another mom and ask if Suzy would like to come home with Sally after practice for pizza and a movie, or if their family would like to meet up with our family for lunch before the sports competition. When the kids were little, I didn’t really feel that we knew the other parents well enough for that kind of thing.
Anonymous says
I hear you!
We don’t do intensive sports (just Girls on the Run at school and non-competitive swim team in a “fun” league in the summer at our pool) b/c we were concerned both about the overscheduling and how as two working parents we were going to be able to pull this off. So we go hiking on the weekends when we can and on bike rides. We’d love to bring a friend, but it is hard to do spontaneously (which I think it checking the night before or maybe 2 hours before if not first thing in the morning).
If you are on a team but your friend isn’t, it’s hard to sync schedules. Maybe middle school will be easier? If anything, we’d likely get an afternoon nanny then so they could have a friend come home with them or go somewhere or be on a team (and have team friends).
RR says
I have never planned a play date. My kids are 11 and 5. Now, there are kids in our neighborhood that they can play with, and my 11 year old daughter can play her own play dates. The other thing that helped is we switched to a nanny. Nanny plans play dates all the time. But, I failed at play dates, and I’m generally okay with that.
I also agree with the poster above that said extracurriculars end up being social events for kids.
avocado says
Forgot to mention—sending your kid to day camp or sleepaway camp with a friend is a great way to get them some time together. We and others we know have frequently done this.
Anonymous says
My kids are in at school after-school care. They play with the kids there. On the weekends, we often text neighborhood friends when we are headed to the playground/going biking etc and it turns into a playdate or not.
SC says
I grew up going to private school, with kids spread out over a huge area, so my parents were involved in my social life until I started driving. But if your kids are in 3/4/5 grade, can they start taking some responsibility for play dates? My friends and I were practicing calling each other up, possibly with the encouragement of our parents, or we were initiating plans at school and going home to ask our parents. I imagine kids communicate differently than using the landline now, but presumably they have some way to reach their friends?
Also, are they old enough for sleepovers? When I was growing up, my best friend had 2 sisters. Once a month or so, each kid could invite one friend over for a sleepover. It was noisy chaos with 6 kids, but we had a great time, and I became pretty close with the whole family.
I also agree with others that you shouldn’t discount social interactions with kids at after care (even if it’s not all their friends), in activities, etc.
Paging yesterday’s crabby anon says
For the mom who posted yesterday about being overtired in the evening: I feel your pain. How old is your older child? If he is reading, I’d suggest having him get in bed at 8:00 when his younger sibling does, then letting him keep his light on and read until 8:30. This will give you a half-hour of decompression time. At 8:30 you can just pop your head in and tell him it’s lights-out time, and you will already be mostly prepared to fall asleep yourself. We instituted a similar policy with our kid when she wanted a later bedtime than I could handle (also an early morning exerciser), and it has been working well.
I also find that evenings go more smoothly when I have some caffeine around 2:00 and a snack later in the afternoon, and when I leave the office exactly on time.
anon says
This is a good idea. Older child is 9, and we’ve really been struggling with developing/enforcing bedtime boundaries now that he’s older. Now that it’s light in the evenings, I don’t expect this to get much easier! But I am really struggling with not having any time to just be still/alone/off-duty, and I think it’s feeding into my own issues with falling asleep.
And, I think you and other posters are right that I need a snack before I leave work. I do appreciate all the good advice everyone gave yesterday.
buffybot says
Learning towers or similar structures – do you have one? Are they worth it?
My son is getting more and more interested in watching what is going on in the kitchen – he’s only 15 months so is probably a little young, but I’m thinking ahead and really looking forward to him being able to participate.
Is there any kind of NYC apartment equivalent? All of the ones I see on Amazon or Etsy seem like they have a massive footprint. Is the need for this type of thing wildly overblown and I should just be finding a stepstool and not worrying about whether he steps off of it?
Mrs. Jones says
We just used a step stool.
anon says
We used a step stool. It was fine, no serious mishaps. I’ll admit that I see those learning towers as “unitaskers” that have zero utility after the narrow time in which you need it.
Anonymous says
I think it’s wildly overblown, but they’re definitely a “must have” item among upper middle class toddler moms. I admit I don’t get the Montessori thing in general though.
Mama Llama says
We have this step stool with hand rails, and I think it’s a good middle ground between a giant tower and just a regular stool. And I regularly use it to reach things on high shelves in my kitchen, so it’s useful for me too. I’ll put the link in a reply.
Mama Llama says
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002SRFI1O/ref=oh_aui_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Anonymous says
We have a cheap folding metal step stool with a handrail. The design prevents the kids from stepping off the side, it folds flat for storage, and is useful for reaching things on the top closet shelf, painting, and other adult tasks.
rakma says
We have a similar wooden 2-step step stool, we lucked out because MIL found it at a garage sale. Best $15 we’ve ever spent. Though I am looking forward to the day we can pass it on, because we end up moving it at least 17 times a day.
Anonymous says
+1 to the wooden one linked from another NYC parent. We had a very similar model and loved it. The hand rails and weight are key to making it stable. Son is older now and we have a smaller IKEA stepstool (the tall one), but I still kind of miss the wood one.
Anonymous says
Wait I found the one we actually had – it’s a little cheaper.
http://www.amazon.com/Guidecraft-High-Rise-Step-Furniture/dp/B001FW0AC0?sa-no-redirect=1
Anonymous says
I love ours, but even in our small-but-not-NYC-small kitchen, I get annoyed with how much space it takes up. When I’m in Serious Cooking Mode, I take it out of the kitchen entirely (which requires hefting it over a baby gate).
My kids use it every day several times a day. They eat breakfast in it so they’re closer to me as I food prep in the morning. My preschooler helps me cook (chop things, tear herbs, etc.) in it. My toddler helps feed cats in it. It’s nice to have them contained in the kitchen, and they do get a lot of learning out of it.
I got ours on a seriously steep discount. Can you look for a secondhand one?
anon says
With a not large, but not NYC small kitchen, we just had a two-step Ikea stepstool because a learning tower would have been too big. We’ve had minor, but no major mishaps.
I kind of wish I’d gotten a learning tower just for the period of time when kid wants to see before kid can be safe on a stepstool without parent hovering, especially with kid #2. Kitchen life was a lot harder than it needed to be.
That said, kids are now 2.5 and 5 and very safe on stepstools—all of the worried instruction probably helped.
Anon says
We have one (and are not crunchy, Montessori or whatever – I didn’t realize that was even where they stemmed from) and I LOVE it. My child is in it every day (from 12 months to now at 20 months) and our friends’ kids are still in it at 3 and 4, so I think the life span is longer than you might think (and two kids can fit in it at once). That being said, I live in suburbia in fairly large house with a decent size kitchen, so the size doesn’t bother me.
The tipping point for me was when my child would demand to be held every time I was in the kitchen and I needed two hands to get stuff done (and didn’t want to listen to the constant sobbing, pulling at my legs, etc.). I like to cook and bake a lot. With the tower up against the island, she can see what is going on, can’t touch anything sharp or hot, she can climb up and down in it herself without assistance (starting at around 15 months), and generally keeps the peace. She often eats breakfast in there as I’m packing my lunch for work and doing the dishes, sometimes other meals if she’s not eating with us, and occasionally “helps” when I’m cooking or baking. Once they’re older, a regular step stool is fine, but at the still wobbly toddler age, I definitely appreciate the “boxed in” approach. She also sometimes climbs up there on her own to keep her drinks on the island (I guess because none of us keep our drinks on the floor?).
octagon says
We have one and it was worth the cost (secondhand), but it is a big item. Consider if you have room to not only use it in the kitchen, but if you have a place to store it when you’re not using it. The ones that fold up seemed too cumbersome to fold/unfold in the moment.
I think it’s fantastic, and kiddo absolutely loves it — the ability to move around a little bit (or have a friend up with him) is better than a stepstool. But DH is counting down the days until we can sell it and reclaim that part of our space.
Cb says
I’ve been eyeing them but I think my kitchen is just too small. He’d be able to reach everything and we wouldn’t be able to open cupboard and oven doors. My son sits on the counter while I make pancakes and if he wants to stir something, we just do it on the dining room table.
HSAL says
We have this and it’s been perfect – https://www.amazon.com/Cosco-Step-Folding-Stool-Rubber/dp/B0032JRVPI/ref=sr_1_25?keywords=step+stool+with+handle&qid=1554475384&s=gateway&sr=8-25. It keeps her decently contained – we started using it when my daughter turned 2, so 15 months might be a little young? We probably could have started earlier.
rosie says
This is like what we use. We already had it as a stepstool for us to use, and started around 18 months for helping put away silverware, cook, etc. It makes me a little nervous, especially at first, but the cost & space required for the learning tower ones was really unappealing.
Anonymous says
Step stool or stand on s chair.
Anonymous says
+1. On our 3rd kid and they’ve all done great on step stools and chairs. I don’t need more junk in my already too full (very large) house ;)
Spirograph says
+2
My 2 year old loves to “help” in the kitchen. He pulls a chair in from the dining room (adjacent to the kitchen, ~5 feet) and climbs on up. It’s not the safest thing in the world, but we haven’t had any mishaps in 3 kids.
Io says
My three-year old has definitely taken a couple of rough drops off our Ikea step stool. But I’d say 95+% of the time it’s been enough. She also helps a bunch in the kitchen.
That said, the much more helpful things have been keeping her sweaters where she can get them, having a chair where she can put on her shoes and having a high chair she can climb in and out of herself.
Walnut says
My kids have pushed chairs all over the house since they could walk. It’s like a one foot fall if they take a tumble. I guess I don’t see the point?
FVNC says
We have a fold-up version that I love. It’s gotten daily use for 4+ years, with both kids. Caveat that both my kids are really short and the older one is really clumsy so we definitely didn’t feel safe with her on a step stool. We have a small kitchen (not NYC small, but not much bigger) and even so it’s been worth it for us.
AwayEmily says
I think this is a know your kid thing — mine is super clumsy just like her mom so we really needed one with a back — even now that she’s three I don’t trust her on a stepstool with no back.
EB0220 says
We had one and really liked it, but we live in suburbia. My kids have always liked helping/watching in the kitchen. We used the tower for probably 4 years. Now they just use stools (4 and 7). They do fold down pretty small but when in use they do take up a lot of space.
Anon says
Is selling clothes at a garage sale less wasteful than donating them to Goodwill or something like that? We have hundreds and hundreds of baby clothes, some of which were never worn. We have a neighborhood garage sale and I was thinking of selling them there. My husband feels that the money we’re going to get isn’t going to cover our time, and that donating them to Goodwill is just as good from an environmental/waste perspective. I think he’s almost certainly right on the first point, but am not sure about the second. I feel like a lot of what gets donated to Goodwill ends up in a landfill, whereas someone who buys our clothes at a garage sale would presumably use them for a while. I guess they would be in a landfill eventually but it feels less wasteful if I know someone else is actually getting use out of them.
ifiknew says
why dont you try something online like Thredup? You just dump them all in a bag and mail (they pay for shipping) and they’ll pay you for the ones they’ll resell and donate the rest. Super easy. I think it’s hard to have each single item be used because there are just so.many.baby.clothes that are so inexpensive so some are bound to go to waste.
Anon says
Is ThredUp still around? I was sure it went out of business.
anon says
Definitely still around. Last time I tried to get a bag, it was a 2 month delay though.
Mama Llama says
Why not donate somewhere other than Goodwill? You can post them for free on a local moms list serv or Facebook group and someone will almost certainly take them.
lawsuited says
+1 Post them as “free” on Facebook marketplace or a mom group and they won’t go to waste.
Anonymous says
You’ll be lucky to get buyers at a garage sale. I would post them in your neighborhood buy nothing group — they’ll go to someone who will use them and will then probably pass them on to others.
Anon says
I think this really depends. The neighborhood where I used to live has a huge garage sale weekend and clean baby clothes in good condition do sell.
Anon says
Yes, OP here and this is my situation – huge neighborhood garage sale, you advertise what you’re selling on a flyer that gets circulated to the neighborhood and printed in the newspaper, there’s lots of foot traffic.
Anonymous says
Another option: If you post on Freecycle or something similar you will probably find a good home for them. I don’t think there is a big difference in Goodwill or garage sale – whatever you can’t sell at the garage sale will get tossed, and Goodwill will operate similarly.
Lana Del Raygun says
You get to decide what happens to things that don’t sell at a yard sale, so you have the option to try again at consignment, take them to rag recycling, etc.
Anon says
We have a Buy Nothing facebook group in my neighborhood and kids clothes get snapped up very quickly.
SC says
It’s true that many clothes donated to Goodwill aren’t resold in their stores. A significant percentage get sold in bulk to developing countries (which has its own set of issues), and the rest (maybe most of the original) get recycled. Supposedly, only clothes that are wet and moldy (5%) get put in the landfill.
If you manage to sell at a garage sale, then there may be a better chance that those clothes will get re-worn, and the buyer may refrain from purchasing new items. But that buyer will face the same choice about what to do with the clothes down the road. Eventually, they’ll end up sold in bulk, recycled or in a landfill.
I buy a lot of kids’ clothes on consignment. I like knowing that I’m not purchasing new and contributing less to the issue of textile waste. I’ve handed lots of baby clothes down, but I’ve never managed to re-sell because it’s so much effort.
Anonymous says
Donate them to your local women’s shelter if they are interested. Women’s shelter’s often house children who had to leave with very few items.
Anon says
I checked a couple in my city – seems like they only want money and very specific, mostly consumable, stuff (like toothpaste and paper towels). They don’t want clothing.
Anonymous says
We have a local women’s day shelter that happily took my maternity clothes, winter baby clothes, and unopened breast pump. Probably worth a call.
Anon says
+1. Check with local charities other than goodwill to see if they have a need.
rosie says
Agree. Goodwill sells items, yes? I would try to find an org that will give the items themselves to families that need them. Places in my area that I would check focus on babies, like breastfeeding center & orgs that collect diapers/formula.
Anonymous says
Less work than a garage sale, you could post the whole lot of a bargain price on a Facebook or similar yard sale site. Like, if you had a bunch of brand new items and asked $20 for the lot of it, you’d get a taker.
Or just list it for free.
Emily S. says
+1 for ThredUp. You can print a label at home, use an empty diaper box to pack up the clothes, and schedule a USPS pick up, which, for me, beats hauling it to the local kid consignment shop, waiting for them to pick through, and then usually returning home with a bag that you have to take to Goodwill. Also, ThredUp promises to recycle or sustainably process what they don’t take. (I take their word for it, but I haven’t investigated.) The payout isn’t great ($0.10-$1.20 per item) but you can use it as credit to buy more clothes for kiddo (or you). The biggest benefits for me, though, are that I can do it all from home and it (seems) like it keeps stuff out of the landfill.
Anonymous says
Are you in a city? If so, find a kids consignment store. We have two Kid2Kid stores in the DC area. I just consigned a basket full of clothes and got $40, and they donated what they didn’t want (wasn’t much). You could also see if there’s a huge kids consignment sale in your area a few times a year
Knope says
For clothes that truly aren’t acceptable for sale/donation (because of stains, rips, etc.), H&M will take any clothes you drop off and recycle them and you get a card for a 15% discount off of your next purchase.
Pesh says
What type of newborn onesie do I get for a baby that will be born in July in the Bay Area? A close friend is due in July and a onesie I want to get her as part of her shower gift comes in a few different configurations – sleeveless onesie (no legs), long sleeved onesie (no legs), long sleeved onesie with legs and feet. I don’t have kids and am not sure how you dress a newborn, and don’t live in the area to know how the weather can be at that time of year. This particular onesie only comes in newborn and 1-3 month sizing. Thanks for your help!
Anon says
There’s no right way to dress a newborn and you will find people who preferred each of the three options you listed. I think the sleeveless, no legs is probably the safest. They can always use that as a bottom layer and add pants or a shirt or whatever, and the baby will likely be swaddled a lot in the beginning, so a light bottom layer is good. Definitely get the 0-3M sizing. Newborn sizes are only meant to fit babies up to 8 pounds, and many kids are born bigger. If they have a tiny peanut, they can always use it later – every kid will grow into it eventually. We never even opened the newborn clothes we received.
Pesh says
Very helpful, thank you!
Anonymous says
I’d agree with this. I also firmly believed if I bought newborn onesies I would have a massive baby by virtue of Murphy’s law (I still had a 9 pound baby but at least I had clothes that fit). But also, giving clothes in larger sizes is great too – they will get used quickly. So you could also get a long sleeved one in the 6-9 month size.
anon says
Where in the Bay? In San Jose (or anywhere on the East Bay or Peninsula), it will be super hot, so I’d get sleeveless. In SF, it could be cold, so a mix might be good.
Anon says
+1 to where – Bay Area has micro climates and they vary WILDLY. SF and the North Bay in July is probably something like New England in late spring or early fall – cool and foggy. South Bay is like LA – hot and sunny, but not humid.
Mama Llama says
I’m not in the Bay area, but I’m partial to newborn clothes with legs and feet and long sleeves. Even in the summer, inside has air-conditioning and outside you want to keep the sun off of them. My area has sweltering summers, and my summer baby wore lightweight, long-sleeve sleep and plays (zip or snap-up one-piece outfits) almost all the time.
Mama Llama says
Sorry, that was for Pesh.
Anon says
I am in the Bay Area, and air conditioning isn’t used much here. It gets so cool at night and isn’t humid during the day, so there’s really very little need for it. It’s counter-intuitive, but buildings here are much warmer in July than buildings in Florida in July, because we don’t blast the AC.
anon says
Ideas for a birthday gift around $10-15 that I can buy at Target during my lunch break? Birthday girl is turning 5, and she’s into My Little Pony.
Lana Del Raygun says
Coloring books and colored pencils?
Emily S. says
Pretty sure I’ve seen some MLP crayons and coloring books at my Target. I also picked up a MLP headband with sequins (of course) and a rainbow tail for dress up.
Also, my 5 y.o. niece loves the B.Toys jewelry kit. Should be at Target, but also on Amazon and you can prime it.
Anonymous says
My 5 y/o girl and her friends love/would love:
LOL dolls/pets
The Barbie mermaid
Art stuff- colored penicls/smelly markers/a good coloring book + some crafty junk from the dollar spot
Flippables (not sure target carries them?)
Any of the Cat and Jack flippable seauin shirts (girls XS would most most 5 y/os)
Headbands & necklaces & purses
My kid and her friend just got this clip in hairpiece from CVS that I think is absurd but they both wear it constantly. I bet target has one. This isn’t it exactly but you get the idea. As a bonus they think they look like My Little Ponies ;). https://www.claires.com/us/kids-6-pack-rainbow-butterfly-clip-in-faux-hair-clips-189051.html?pid=189051
anon says
Holy cats, those hair clips are amazing. lol.
Redux says
These hair clips are very My Little Pony! I think we have a winner…
Anonymous says
Ugh, having a day… Can I start one of those threads where we share something positive related to our kids?
My 10 mo has started talking to her stuffed animals in her crib before she goes to sleep and for a few minutes after she wakes up. It melts my heart :)
Anon says
Wow, that seems so advanced! I didn’t think they did pretend play until way later.
Anonymous says
I mean she like looks at them and says “babababa mamamama dadada, etc.” I may be projecting the talking “to” part :). Although I think she might be advanced verbally because she does have about 3 or so “words” (like consistent sounds she makes to refer to the same things– “ha”= hi, “buh”= bottle, and dada)
avocado says
Last night my 12-year-old baked cookies and cleaned up after herself. All I had to do was eat the cookies.
Anonymous says
I read this as 12 month old at first and thought “now THAT’s advanced.” :)
Boston Legal Eagle says
Thank you for this reminder that these little people will one day grow up to be actual big, helpful almost-adults. I often can’t believe it when I look at my baby and toddler.
Walnut says
My not-yet-two year old told us she was going to be stinky and used the potty chair last night! I have no interest in potty training right now, but I’ll go with it when she takes the initiative.
Pogo says
Related, my 20 month old has a baby doll he loves and is obsessed with. He is always making sure she is involved – like saying “baby share” and offering her toys or food, and insisting she sit near us for storytime. I also use her a ruse to get him to take a bath and nap (“Seems like baby needs a bath!” “Baby is getting tired!”) and he has internalized that so now when I say “ok bathtime!” he gets super excited and yells “baby!”, so I don’t forget her.
Anonymous says
This is adorable.
Anonymous says
This is so cute! And reminds me that my 4 year old has misplaced her doll, “Aggie.” She very articulately lamented earlier this week, “Mommy, I can’t find Aggie, and I neeeed to find her, because she is just so special to me. She is my sister and my best friend, and I neeeeeed her.”
Pogo says
omg, that is precious.
IHeartBacon says
Aw <3
I love this thread! We should always have this thread on Fridays!
Lyssa says
Maybe not quite positive, but funny – my 3 year old threw a tantrum yesterday and got put in her room, where she “retaliated” by taking off all of her clothes. She eventually put her pants and shirt back on, but insisted that she was NOT going to wear underwear (because that would show us, I guess). When I got her into her nightgown at bedtime, she did put underwear back on. My husband said “I thought that you were never going to wear underwear again,” and she responded “I was just mad. Then I realized it was uncomfortable.”
Anonymous says
That’s hilarious
IHeartBacon says
Adorable. <3
Anonymous says
Oh man I feel this so hard. My 3 y/o kept complaining about the leggings I put her in earlier this week being too small. They were not too small. However, they were a bit too big in the waist and apparently she kept dropping trou at daycare all day and her underwear came with them. Like she was trying to…take them off? Keep them on? We don’t know but her butt was bare most of the day and she has never done such a thing beforehand or since.
Everlong says
My 3.5 year old was extremely apologetic last night when he realized that he went to the grocery store with Grandma and picked out donuts for him and his brother but not for me. I was putting their treats on plates and suddenly he started profusely apologizing, “Mommy! I didn’t get you a donut! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’ll get you a donut next time!” I was thankful that I didn’t have the temptation in the first place, but it was so sweet.
FVNC says
Aw, these are all so sweet (literally, in the case of the cookie baking ;)
My little one turns two today. One of his little daycare friends turned two yesterday, and he learned the birthday song in adorable garbled two-year-old-ese.
My kindergartner is in spring break camp this week and met a girl she wants to have a playdate with! She doesn’t often bond with peers quickly (or at all), and I’m so happy she met a little friend. (Now, we’ll see if she passes along the note I sent with our contact info…!)
Pogo says
One of mine’s little daycare friends sings it as “happy to you, happy to you”. Adorable!!
Anonymous says
My youngest has gotten better at enunciating now, but when he was around 1.5-2, it was “habba boo-doo” and so stinking cute. I miss little kid mispronunciations.
Happy birthday to your two year old!
Boston Legal Eagle says
My almost 3 year old (birthday in a few weeks, eeek!) has been asking what time it is, then when we tell him “9:46” for example, he’ll first say “oh” in this funny way, then will try to start counting to that number – gets to 10 pretty well, then switches around to 20, 32 and finally lands on the last number. He has also been putting on my boots lately and apparently wearing boots transforms him into one of his teachers, where he then directs us what to do.
5 month old is still extremely adorable (I might be biased) and has started rolling onto his tummy. We’ve transitioned him out of the Magic Merlin into a sleepsack – milestone!
IHeartBacon says
Awww! <3
I have a very very distinct memory of my LO doing this too around the same age. Just little baby babble, but he was definitely "talking" to his lovies. I'm tearing up just thinking about it.
Pogo says
this whole thread is making me tear up! I love the weird cute things kids do. Like, what goes on in their little brains! It’s amazing.
Anon says
My 20 month old has started using a napkin to wipe her hands and face when she gets messy while she’s eating. Particularly helpful on nights like last night where I brought home tacos and cheese dip and she shoved her ENTIRE face (mouth to eyes to ears) into the cheese dip container to lick the last cheese out of the bottom while sitting in my lap. Now, if only we could get more than a handful of words….
HSAL says
My husband got this story from the daycare teachers yesterday. Apparently it’s a struggle to get my 3 1/2 year old to keep her shoes and socks on during the day. The other day she came out of the bathroom with her pants and underwear around her ankles. The teachers were like “so what’s up with that?”and she said “But my shoes and socks are on!”
Anonymous says
We’re refreshing spring clothes – my 4 year old son asked for new spiderman sneakers and ‘rainbow unicorn’ rainboots. Made me feel like I might not be screwing up this parenting thing if he felt confident to ask for what he wanted and didn’t think of unicorns as for girls.
Mrs. Jones says
I also want rainbow unicorn rain boots. Let us know if you find some. :)
Anon says
I think Target had some – Cat and Jack brand. I just got my toddler the totes cirrus rainboots (solid color) and OMG they are soooo light. I was shocked. She promptly put them on with her jammies and wore them around the house all night.
Anonymous says
We have some!! My daughter is wearing her “rainbow unicorn” boots today, thanks to the light drizzle that really doesn’t justify waterproof footwear, but whatever. They are Hatley brand, and I just looked for them and it looks like that exact design isn’t available at the moment, but there’s hope. (Background color is pink, but the unicorns themselves have rainbow colors. I don’t know if that counts?)
SC says
My husband introduced our almost 4-year-old to the Great British Baking Show this week. Kiddo loves it! That means we can all sit down on the couch and watch a show or movie that was not created specifically for children!
Also, last night, Kiddo was crawling on the couch between us and aggressively cuddling/pulling on us. I asked if he needed something or wanted to be with us. He said, “Just want to be with you. Because I love you..r shirts.”
Redux says
This made me lol! Link to the shirts, please!
Anon. says
They are practicing numbers in the Toddler room at daycare, so we’re reinforcing at home. (Which seems ridiculous – he’s 21 months old – but whatever.) This morning at breakfast I asked him to count and the result was: One, Yellow, Three, Four in adorable toddler-lisp. Adorable and hilarious at the same time.
CPA Lady says
I’ve been working so late recently that my kid is in bed by the time I get home most nights of the week. Recently I’ve been video chatting with her for a few minutes before bed and it actually goes well and doesn’t upset her and she can actually tell me about her day. She’s so cool.
Also, in related news, pray for tax accountants everywhere.