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For frequent flier babies and toddlers, this is the perfect travel crib.
We’ve traveled with our now six-year-old since she was a few months old. On almost every trip, the Lotus Travel Crib came along. It’s way lighter than a traditional pack-and-play (it’s only 13 pounds), can be carried like a backpack, and fits in the overhead bin of most planes.
Setup is literally a snap, and it’s also GreenGuard certified (so no scary chemicals like phthalates or formaldehyde). When we’re ready to fly again, our travel crib is ready and waiting for our toddler.
The crib is $199.95 (includes the travel crib and backpack). There’s also a bassinet kit and travel crib for very wee ones for $299.90.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
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Kid/Family Sales
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- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Ifiknew says
Going on our first trip in June. Our newly turned 2 year old has a baby Bjorn travel crib he sleeps in for naps at local grandparents. Is it worth taking for the trip? Would a 2 year be old be comfortable overnight or should I rent a crib
Anonymous says
A hotel crib is likely to be an ancient pack n play. I’d bring your own.
Pogo says
This has been my experience.
Anon says
I would call and ask the hotel what they have in detail to make your decision. At age 1 in Kansas City, the hotel crib was a very nice wooden crib on wheels. DD climbed out of the PNP around 20 months, so we stopped traveling with that shortly thereafter. What we typically do for kiddo is either co-sleep or get a roll-away bed (it’s basically a twin size mattress on the floor) or put her on a pull-out sofa and all have worked great!
Anon says
If he doesn’t exceed the height/weight limits I would definitely take it. We used a PNP for travel until 2.5.
Anonymous says
Alternatively, you could bring an inflatable toddler mattress. It may be lighter and less bulky depending on what you get.
PistachioLemon says
Are you driving or flying? If driving, not that hard to throw the travel crib you have in the trunk. If flying, I would just use the hotel one for a couple of days and save yourself the weight/aggravation. You can always bring your own crib sheet (much lighter!).
Anonymous says
+1. And we typically took our own sheets. Lots of times hotels just wrap a regular double or queen sheet around the “crib” mattress, and it is a mess.
Anon says
I was a bit of a germophobe even before Covid but we almost always brought our own PNP when we traveled. If you’re checking luggage it’s not that big a deal to take it along and with a toddler or baby we never got away with going carry on only. My kid loved to press her face against the mesh sides so just having clean sheets didn’t seem like enough. One time we tried to use a hotel room one and the mattress and sides had huge brown marks that definitely looked like bodily fluids. They were able to get us a new one when we complained, but it reaffirmed my decision to bring my own.
Anonymous says
Do airlines charge to check the pack and play? Or is it similar to strollers/carseats where you can bring them without fee?
Anon says
Not sure, we always put it in our large checked suitcase.
Anon says
They’re not free anymore.
Anon Lawyer says
Piggy backing off this, but would folks recommend the Baby Bjorn or the Lotus above for my 18-month-old? Now that travel is safer it’s starting to be a more pressing question . . . . (I had a cheap travel PnP pre-Covid that I really think she’s too long for now even though she’s average height.)
Anonymous says
We have the Lotus and I really like the side zip panel, which the Bjorn doesn’t have. My daughter could crawl through there and I’ve also laid next to her when needed. Highly recommend getting the quilted plush sheet with it. It’s also pretty long, although I don’t know how the Bjorn dimensions compare.
Anon says
Easy adult beverages for a 2 hour backyard party for my 4 year old next Friday? It’ll just be two moms and their 3 kids and my 2 kiddos.
Also, party favors? I hate getting junk but not sure what’s easy and appropriate.
I’ve never hosted a bday party with friends for my 4 year old so my list says adult beverages, pizza, cake, cookies, water and lemonade, paper playes/napkins/cups, party favors. What am I missing??
Hummingbirdie says
It can be as simple or as complicated as you like. I’d say lean into the pandemic and keep it simple (as someone who would go over the top for kiddo parties in the before times). You could grab a few bottles of chilled rose or sparkling wine or hard seltzer’s or beer. On favors, I bet some sidewalk chalk and bubbles would be a hit. And once they are used up, they are done.
Pogo says
I agree. For adult beverages I always have La Croix and Spindrift, beer, and wine. I have done punch like 3 times. So glad I registered for that punch bowl for my wedding.
Anonymous says
This is perfect.
Anonymous says
IME adults never eat the pizza, cake, and cookies at a preschool birthday party, especially if it isn’t right at a mealtime. I’d have a little veggie tray or something for the moms.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Alternate take: The parents I’ve seen (including me and husband) almost always have some of the pizza and cake. Yes, it gets to be a lot of if you have multiple parties per month, but every now and then it’s nice to not worry about lunch! but I agree on having a veggie or fruit tray as extra.
8:37 says
I would like to be friends with you and anon below. What’s funny is that we live in a dumpy suburb, not a fashionable place where everyone ostentatiously advertises their keto/Whole30/vegan/gluten-free status, and the pizza and cake refusers aren’t health-conscious by any stretch of the imagination. But if no other adults are eating the treats, I feel like I can’t either–what if the pizza and cake are only for the kids and it’s some sort of faux pas?
These same parents do expect beer, though. I did not realize that I was expected to serve adult beverages at a kids’ party at 2:00 in the afternoon.
Anon says
This always drives me crazy in planning. If most of the parents eat, then what if there’s not enough? Then, if most of the parents don’t eat, there’s way too much! So frustrating!
On the opposite note, I’ve noticed that invites almost never specify what will be offered, and you can’t predict from time of day. Husband brought our little one to a party at 6:00 on a weeknight the other day, and they just had chips and cake – she had to rush home and eat leftovers right before bed. Other times, we’ll go to one mid-afternoon (well after lunch and before dinner), and they’ll be a full meal. I want to know what to plan for!
Boston Legal Eagle says
So funny! Come on over to our suburb in MA. I actually hardly ever see adult drinks at bday parties around here (which is fine, I don’t really like chasing my 2 year old after having wine or beer) but there’s always some pizza and cake!
Anonymous says
Ha, both I and all my friends inhale the pizza, cake and cookies at every kids party. I always account for 2 slices per adult!
For favors, I like stuff that gets used up and is on theme — usually bubbles, chalk, temporary tattoos, stickers.
Anonymous says
Ummm just buy wine?
Anonymous says
Sangria! Super easy and fun. Good for spring too because you can add berries. Also for the love of god please no crappy plastic favors- my kids love them but I hate them. If you must do favors make it a balloon or crayons or something.
Anon says
For that age, I’d swap the pizza for chicken nuggets. ChikFilA has really good catered chicken trays (I struggle with whether to order from there, so usually go with a local option instead). And instead of lemonade make it easy and have a few juice boxes and mini-sized water bottles. Maybe add in a few applesauce pouches and the kids are covered. More napkins than you think you need.
Good chicken will usually be enough for parents too, if they want to eat after the kids are done, and then cake plus water/adult beverages will be fine for adults. Honestly at that age I ate the rest of my kids’ plates at parties and called it good enough. As long as they offered the leftovers to parents, I thought they were being super generous.
Party favors – since we’re going into Summer and you’re doing backyard theme, you can get a “summer kit” together. Chalk, bubbles, and maybe one of those bat-and-wiffle-ball combos. Put it in a cheap sand pail and it looks intentional. All of that can be found at your local dollar store.
Anon says
I love ChickFilA but don’t people frown upon that because it’s not PC? I’m in a red Midwest state (although our friend group skews really liberal compared to the state) and I would be scared to bring ChickFilA to an event. I can’t imagine it going over well in Brooklyn or SF or some place like that.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I don’t admit to anyone that I buy my kid ChickFilA.
Anonymous says
I dunno, I live in a blue bubble and I don’t think anyone around here assumes that eating at chick fil a is an endorsement of their owner’s political leanings. I understand if people choose not to spend their money there, but even the people I know who consciously boycott it will eat the nuggets if someone else buys them because…. they’re delicious.
Anonymous says
ChickFilA isn’t available in Brooklyn. Kennedy Fried Chicken 4 Evah. But actually, pizza rules at birthday parties here. Personally I don’t think it is necessary mid-afternoon – its not a meal time – but it is ubiquitous.
totally anon says
actually it is, there is a Chick FilA across from Barclays Center and they deliver.
Anonymous says
Coffee has always been appreciated at our parties. What parent of a young child isn’t sleep deprived? I usually just offer that and seltzer/soda for grown up beverages. I don’t usually provide alcohol but am also never hosting at home (small apartment), don’t drink, and am frankly probably not the best host.
Anonymous says
This is genius.
Anonanonanon says
I love this. For a backyard party, if someone had a thing of iced coffee available, I’d be the happiest person in the world.
I’m not sure if alcohol at kid parties is regional or universally accepted. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it at our area. The sangria suggestion above seems like a good bet.
Anonymous says
Where I am, alcohol is consumed at playdates, not just parties, especially if the weather is nice out!
Mary Moo Cow says
I’ve done a morning Easter party with coffee, bagels, and fruit. It was so relaxed and, looking back on it, more enjoyable than an afternoon party trying to gauge whether it is too early for lunch/dinner and full pizza or if looks like I’m a cheapskate trying to avoid buying pizza and just having snacks.
Anon. says
For party favors, we like Wikki Stix, mini scratch note pads, Bubbles, Sticker packs from Dollar Tree. Also, balloons and mini-Playdoh containers.
https://www.amazon.com/Wikki-Stix-Party-Favor-Pak/dp/B00FRYO8FW
https://www.amazon.com/Scratch-Different-Delivery-Drawing-Notepads/dp/B07Q2WBK3L
DLC says
I always like it when there is fruit at parties.
Mary Moo Cow says
I wouldn’t go overboard with party favors, as others have said. Helium balloons double as decoration and favors if everyone gets to take one home at the end of the party.
Fallen says
Cookies and Kate red sangria. Or actually with summer there are tons of amazing white sangria recommendations.
Or I have seen pitcher of margs recipes, if you don’t mind squeezing lots of limes!
Sally the Porsche says
The thread on parenting being a slog got me thinking. I’m on the fence for really trying for a second. Goalie pulled but with a spirited three year old we don’t always have intimate parent time, and we aren’t timing or really trying hard like we did with our first. I thought I was just an impatient parent but I think I just have an intense kid (who is also a joy and so clever and funny). Bringing a second kid into this and starting over is crazy, right? The cost of a second would be doable but I love not being on a super tight budget right now, even with a daycare payment and the expenses of modern life. I’m also an introvert. Our attitude right now is if it happens, ok. If not, that’s ok too. Has anyone been in this spot? I’ll be 37 next month so nature might decide for me on way or another. Any thoughts?
Anonanonanon says
I have a second very far apart from my first and of course I love her more than anything and she has brought us so much joy and I’m happy to have a daughter BUT I miss the freedom we had a small lil family of 3 with an older child, I miss the money that is going to daycare, I miss everyone being able to dress themselves and get out the door with minimum supervision, I miss not having to buckle anyone in, etc.
All that to say, I 100% think it’s possible to be happy either way and I think there are a lot of advantages to being one and done! I found life got a lot easier when my first turned 4, HUGE change at 5, only got easier from there. You’re so close!!
Anon says
My experience has been that things are harder for a while, but once the youngest hits 3 yo or so, they get easier. My kids play together really well and at 4 and 7 can disappear into pretend games for 6 hours at a time (stopping only for a snack or two). I know parents of only kids often have trouble keeping them occupied.
We also adjusted our childcare so we weren’t using daycare, which in our area stops making financial sense at about two kids. We have an au pair and part time preschool and that rhythm works better for our kids. They’re more relaxed and less overwhelmed. We probably would have kept our oldest in daycare if she’d been an only, but she’s really flourished with more personal attention and quiet time.
Your life will adjust to two kids if that’s what you want. There are harder bits and easier bits. Do what you want.
Anonymous says
Personally, I think you really need to be sure you want another kid before you have another kid, though I know a lot of people disagree that that’s a firm prerequisite. I’ll say from my own experience that I think kids get a lot easier once they’re 4 yo. IT depends on what aspects of childrearing you find hard, but for me, the baby and early toddler phase (while sweet and cute) are exhausting and stressful to the bone. Once my oldest turned 4, I thought “oh so this is why people have lots of kids, they get so much easier.” Don’t get me wrong, my kid is a tough kid and whines a ton, but he’s much more of a little person who can do a lot to take care of himself now. I’ll also say that childcare costs will go down a ton for us when our son starts kindergarten. I know a lot of people say the cost of summer camps rival that of yearlong daycare, but we haven’t found that to be the case at all where we live.
We had our second when my oldest was just turning 2, and it was REALLY HARD. We’re planning our third now, and if things go as we hope, they’ll be 6 and 4 when the baby is born. I’d have preferred a three year age gap but COVID threw a wrench in our plans and we have fertility issues slowing things down.
Anyway, good luck! I hope you find a path forward that makes you happy!
Anon says
+1 it sounds like you’re unsure you want a second so I’m kinda confused as to why you pulled the goalie. Not preventing is trying, in my view (I got pregnant the first time I had unprotected s3x, no temping or tracking or anything like that – I realize I got very lucky and it doesn’t happen that fast for most people but I still think if you aren’t using birth control you’re “trying.”)
We’re very likely one and done. I’m a happy only child who always planned on one, so it’s different than your situation OP. And our family felt complete when we met our daughter. But we did consider a second when our first was under 2 – she was such a happy, easy baby and toddler and parenting was so much fun we sort of felt like it would be criminal to not do it again. (I don’t like the term, but we were definitely poopcups.) And then she became a very difficult 2 year old and we were both like yeah no not doing this again. I love her madly and am so glad we had her, I definitely do not regret becoming a mom at all, but living through the last year of pandemic and a very intense, spirited kid made us sure we didn’t want to disrupt our delicate balance by adding another family member. And now at almost 3.5 with the pandemic improving things are relatively easy and fun again and it’s daunting to start over and feels like it would cost us so many fun experiences with our oldest. I see why most people do 2 under 2 but I think that would have been too overwhelming for me.
Anon says
OTOH, our second was an accident (seriously ONE time and I was still nursing, which is clearly why I was wrong about when I ovulated), and he’s the best thing we could have done for our oldest and the whole family. Sometimes things work out even if you’re not planning to a T. Obviously if we had been super against having another kid we would have been more careful but I’m so grateful we weren’t because we probably would have put it off for a long time and I’m so so happy they are close in age.
Anonymous says
My SIL has a “spirited” 3-year-old and an incredibly easygoing baby. What I’ve noticed is that even though the baby is the world’s easiest baby, SIL now has a harder time dealing with the exhausting high-needs preschooler. This is the kind of kid who runs out into traffic, climbs the furniture, throws himself down in the middle of the street if you won’t let him hold the dog’s leash by himself, etc. SIL has started to feel like she needs to “fix” his behavior because she just can’t deal with it any longer, which as we all know is mostly impossible. On the other hand, SIL is really enjoying the baby stage with her second in a way that just wasn’t possible with the high-needs first baby.
anon says
I also have this dynamic — high-needs first, easygoing second — and I wholeheartedly agree with all this. It’s really hard, and I constantly have to check myself to make sure I have reasonable expectations with Kid #1. But this has confirmed that I wasn’t doing anything wrong the first time around; my kid really is that challenging. (He also was eventually diagnosed with ADHD, which is a parenting challenge in itself.)
Pogo says
This is me, too, although my first was also a pretty chill baby. I love the baby stage and that actually makes me want a third more than the preschooler stage, which gives me even more hope about all this getting easier when he’s in K/grade school.
Overall though, if you aren’t sure, I’d err on the side of not having a second.
Anonymous says
We have a two year old who is really easygoing, and everyone keeps telling us our next one will be challenging, which is scaring me off! (By the way that’s not a helpful comment, folks.) I think we will have a second, since we both want to, but might wait another year or so to start trying so we can get our jobs/childcare back on track after the pandemic. My best friend just announced her second pregnancy though, so I guess I’ll view her as a guinea pig.
Anon says
Eh, I’ve had three chill babies. It can totally happen. DH are pretty relaxed too, which is how we ended up pregnant with our fourth!
Boston Legal Eagle says
I think my first is more spirited than others but even he is so much easier now at 5. My second was more easy going as a baby and young toddler, although is now hitting a rough patch at 2.5. So yes, it was definitely difficult with two little ones. But I think it will get easier and I like that they have each to play (and fight and learn to compromise) with. I agree that you’ll adjust either way and there’s no one right answer.
Anonymous says
No having another kid isn’t crazy.
Spirograph says
yup! I seem to be a minority, but I think it’s fine to say “I’m OK with having another kid, I’m OK with not having another kid” and seeing what happens. You’ll adjust, you’ll love your baby, but you don’t have to desperately want a family of four and “try” in order to grow your family. I wanted 3, DH was a little ambivalent, and this is how we approached it. (And I have three, and I was thrilled and also thought I was crazy at the same time. Multiple things can be true at once.)
Anonymous says
Parenthood has convinced me that it is crazy to have even one child, yet we all do it anyway.
Lyssa says
I agree with that. As long as you know that you can take care of the baby and it will be loved and given a stable home if it comes, I’m fine with letting the universe decide this one. (Obviously not if you can’t offer the baby what it needs, of course.)
Anonymous says
I would classify this as “relaxed trying” or “trying but being OK if it doesn’t work out.”
Cb says
I’m quite happily one and done and the older my son gets, the more it confirms my decision. At nearly 4, he’s just so fun and chill, and the physical labour of parenting is so much less – he eats what we eat, goes to bed fairly sensibly, is in charge of his own potty business, and is honestly pretty helpful. I wouldn’t want to go back to the sleep deprived, really intense physical period, particularly at 36.
CPA Lady says
^ same and totally agree. It keeps getting better and better. Kiddo is 6.5 now and I’m really happy that we decided to stop at one. Coming out of the pandemic, starting to plan travel, and it’s actually really exciting to contemplate the future. It just feels like when you have an only child, there is more of a sense of companionship, like we’re a unit of 3 and I can easily fold her into our/my lifestyle rather than the massive adjustment most people seen to make to having a child-focused life when they have multiple kids.
OP, I think it’s natural to get cold feet when you start trying for a second even if you’ve thought it through and really do want it, but also I think having two kids is the “default” and sometimes people don’t really stop to think if they really want two, they just sort of assume its the number of kids everyone has. If you want to stop at 1, that’s totally fine! If you want to have 2, that’s great too. I personally really liked the book “One and Only” by Lauren Sandler when I was really contemplating how many kids I wanted and thinking I wanted to stop at one.
Cb says
Yes, definitely, 1 kid an accessory, 2 kids a lifestyle. Pre-pandemic, travel was pretty chill and fun, and now that my kid can walk further, doesn’t nap, etc it’ll be even better. But YMMV, my kid would happily sit in an outdoor cafe on a busy street and people watch while he drinks his babycinno.
Sally the Porsche says
Cb, the image of your kid quietly sipping his babycino is WAY too cute!! Thank you all for the support and kind words. Maybe I’m too sensitive but to the person who said she didn’t know why we pulled the goalie—because we’d be fine with a second but every month it doesn’t happen I wonder if a family of three is best. Thank you all, ladies!
Anon says
Agree that two kids is the default in our society and a lot of people feel like that’s the number they ‘should’ have. If you want a second, you should definitely have one and you’ll make it work! But don’t have one because of other people’s expectations. My husband and I initially disagreed on the number of kids we wanted but when we talked about it more, he realized he only thought he wanted 2 kids because that was his family of origin size and that was what he thought was “normal” and expected of parents – don’t let that drive your decision. Once we had one he agreed with me that our family felt complete.
I disagree with the One and Only book rec though. I am a super happy only child and very content with my one child, especially as she gets older and more fun, but that book actually made me cry and feel terrible about having an only child. If you’re looking for encouragement to stop at one, I think reaching out to adults you know who are happy only children or have only children by choice is a better bet.
Cb says
Yes, definitely, I’m a very happy adult only and would always be happy to chat through my experiences.
Anon Lawyer says
Tangential, but has anyone watched Girls5Eva yet? Episode 3 has a whole plot about “New York Lonely Boys” and it’s pretty amazing (and a happy ending for parents of onlies).
Carolyn says
I think it depends. My parents definitely folder my sister (6 years younger) and I into their lives – we traveled to Italy and Hawaii and Germany, went on local trips, they took us to restaurants etc. And I’m not just saying this, this is actually my parents whole philosophy and advice, that you can take kids with you for most things. I was a picky child when I was <5, but after that we ate more or less what they did, and I was old enough when my sister born that I was actually sorta helpful in taking care of her. We went to parties with them, and if necessary, fell asleep early in a back bedroom. And I have great memories of all this, and they do too. So I don't think having 2 kids, or having a kid, means that your life is over and you can't do anything.
Anon says
Attitude is definitely a big part of it. I know someone who has 4 kids and schlepped them all over the world pre-Covid. My BFF pretty much gave up all travel and adult-oriented stuff when she had her first kid. So it does vary. But I don’t think it’s uncommon to feel that 2 is a lot more limiting than 1. As others said, we folded one kid into our pre-kid lifestyle pretty easily, but I know my own limits and I know our lives would change a LOT if we had a second. For us, I’m confident the 1-2 transition would be a lot more dramatic than the 0-1 transition. For a variety of reasons including my own (relatively low) tolerance for stress, but also more practical stuff like finances. Two in daycare would be more than my salary, we just wouldn’t have the budget for international travel.
Anonymous says
It’s not just about the parents’ attitude. It’s about the kids’ personality, too. We took our daughter to the symphony and the ballet and fancy restaurants and rock concerts starting at age three. She always behaved perfectly and had a great time. On the other hand, I have two nephews who couldn’t sit still, be quiet, or eat nicely even at age 10, and another who at three years old constantly screams at the top of his lungs in all situations. These kids’ parents have just given up taking them to most adult places because it isn’t worth the stress. I don’t think parenting explains much of the difference.
Pogo says
+1 to what Carolyn said.
anon says
Couldn’t agree more with the statement that 1 kid is an accessory and 2 is a lifestyle. I cant emphasize enough how much more work 2 kids has been. Granted, mine are 2 years apart so maybe people with 4+ age differences feel differently, but it is a constant stream of cleaning, eating, someone upset/complaining/tantruming, getting them to their nap etc. There is no time to relax and both of us are always on or I do a lot of tired stressed solo parenting. I wouldn’t do anything differently, because our family is complete, but I do feel stretched in ways I never did when just my daughter was about to turn 2 and I was pregnant. Mine are about to turn 2 and 4 next week.
Anonymous says
Feel free to ignore this internet stranger giving you advice, but mine are two years apart, too, but just turning 3 and 5 — and it gets SO MUCH EASIER! You’re close, hang in there! I am confident now that a two year age gap is at least twice as hard as a three or four year one. I say this because I know it’d be way easier to have a baby with my 3 year old hanging around than if he were 2. Might be that a close age gap is easier as they get older, but in the beginning, it’s way harder!
Anon says
I completely agree with all of this. 5 and 3 is a whole other ballgame, in a great way. They are fun and funny and play by themselves (!) The 25-month age gap was REALLY hard at first, but is paying off now. Honestly, things were so smooth I was finding myself a little bored at times!
(Now I’ve gone and thrown a wrench in the works with #3, so the other two are regressing somewhat and are back to bickering, but I notably planned for a 3.5-year age gap this time :)
Anon says
Poster above. Sooo nice to hear, thank you so much. Truly gets me thru the day when I hear these stories
Anon4this says
This is somewhat similar to us. We have a 2 year old who is stubborn and high spirited and never stops moving, but is also an excellent sleeper so it makes it manageable. We thought long and hard about whether to have number 2 and decided to try. We are experiencing secondary infertility for unexplained reasons, which is frustrating. We’re currently deciding if we want to give IVF a go. I think we are going to do it but if I have terrible reactions to the drugs or am a poor responder I probably will be at peace with stopping. I think we’ll be ok if we end up with just our one kiddo.
DLC says
I feel like with all my kids, I wanted another one, but not enough to actively track and plan and try. And I then ended up with three kids. And I also feel like the urge to have a child is very rarely rational, especially since you never know what you’re going to get. I always think back to what a father on a listserv I belong to said- he had five kids and was definitely feeling stretched on so many levels. And he said (paraphrasing here), “I have moments when I really regret the life that five kids forces me to have, but I never regret the kids.”
Anonymous says
I posted this on the main s1te yesterday but reposting here this morning.
Has anyone experienced surgical menopause? I had an ovarian cyst removed recently (and posted about it here about 6 weeks ago) and unexpectedly had to have the ovary removed. Because it was my second such surgery, I only had a sliver on the other ovary, which apparently wasn’t enough to keep me out of menopause. I’m “only” 42 and while we’re TTC, we’re doing it with frozen embryos so this shouldn’t be a real problem (knock wood), but I’m still feeling gutted. There are all sorts of increased health risks, but on top of that, it just feels like such a sudden change, and it makes me feel older than I am. Would appreciate hearing your experiences if you’ve gone through it. Does the sudden nature of it mean that the symptoms (hot flashes, moodiness, etc) also pass sooner? Did you experience rapid weight gain and if so, did hormone replacement therapy help? So hard to find answers to these questions for some reason.
Anon says
No advice, but this sounds really stressful and I’m sorry you’re going through it.
OP says
I really appreciate that, thank you!
Anon says
Definitely not the same, but I had an emergency hysterectomy due to post-childbirth complications and found that doctors really underestimated the impact it would have on my life. Frankly, I still am looking for a new doctor because the whole, ‘Well at least’ BS was frustrating at best and traumatizing at worst.
Sending you good vibes – mine was really traumatic and something that isn’t talked about is the long term impact on intimacy. My partner has been incredible and I wouldn’t have made it without his support.
OP says
I appreciate you sharing that, and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through it. I agree that my doctors (all male) have been extremely cavalier about the impact this would have. Ahead of the surgery, we thought the cyst was on my “bad” ovary because of where it appeared on the ultrasound, but it was actually on the good one (just pulled way over to the other side). So they didn’t anticipate this, but they haven’t been great afterward either.
Anonanonanon says
We used the guava lotus as our bassinet/crib full-time and for travel and were very happy with it. I move my kids to floor beds early (my first was a climber, my second got so tall she could throw a leg over the side of the guava lotus before she was 2) so I preferred to invest in a good option that could also be used for travel.
anon says
I also used it as the main bed and for travel for my kids. I loved the Guava so much.
The zip down to the floor feature was so very helpful for cuddling and for letting a little one go to a familiar space while traveling.
Anonymous says
We used the bassinet full time. LO’s in a regular crib now, but the Guava crib is fantastic to throw in the car for a day at the grandparents’ house so we don’t have to worry about planning around nap time. I’m sure it’ll be great for travel once we’re able to do that again.
Anon says
Any suggestions for bumpers for a twin bed that is high off the ground? Ideally ones than mimic the feeling of a crib? At home kiddo is still in a crib, but going to visit grandparents this summer and can’t comfortably fit in a pack n play anymore. Hoping to at least get some sleep on the trip
Anonanonanon says
This is probably obnoxious because it is not what you asked for, but is there any way she can sleep on a low air mattress? We did that for a grandparent visit when my daughter was 2 and it was a good solution that was ultimately less stressful than trying to navigate all of the bumper/tent/cot/etc. options I was scouring the internet for. Bonus, my mom took her to the store to pick out whatever gaudy blanket she wanted for it, so it had flamingo sheets and an Elsa blanket.
Anon says
+1. My large 3 year old is still in a crib (converted to a toddler bed) at home, but has long since outgrown the PNP. We use an air mattress for travel and grandparents. My husband was convinced she wouldn’t be able to sleep on the air mattress (because he hates air mattresses) but it was completely fine. Bonus – an air mattress can often fit in a bathroom or closet if your kid needs a quiet, dark sleeping area.
OP says
not at all obnoxious, this would’ve been my preference, but there is no space. this is actually for our twins and the room they will be sleeping in is not huge and already has two twin beds in it that they dont really have space to move to some place else so no room on the floor for two air mattresses, or even to take the mattresses off the beds and put them o the floor. my MIL is more than happy to buy whatever bumpers we suggest, which is why i’m asking all of you :-)
CCLA says
Hiccapop. We use the memory foam one at home, which does roll down fairly compact, but also have the travel set which is inflatable (a little less comfy but functional). Used last weekend at grandparents for 2 yo very successfully.
CCLA says
To be clear this is a bumper! Not an air mattress
Anonymous says
We also have a hiccapop on my daughters bed. It works fine!
OP says
thanks all. appreciate the air mattress recs – but specifically need bumper recommendations because an air mattress won’t work
Anon says
Regalo makes a swingdown bedrail that you can use. My parents still have the one from my childhood like that and it worked fine for kiddo, but we stopped using it after a while because she now uses the opportunity to sleep with Grammy or her aunties. I thought about putting one on her bed now (queen) but she hasn’t fallen out so we’re not bothering.
PistachioLemon says
I would roll up a towel and stick it under the fitted sheet. It creates enough of a barrier that if the kid rolls against it, then it generally stops them from falling off (and you can do 2 next to each other in a line down the side of the bed). It won’t keep the kid from climbing out, but this solution has worked for me (my 2 year old transitioned to a high-ish twin from a crib) plus it’s free and you probably don’t even have to pack it!
Cb says
After a terrible hotel packnplay experience, we got a travel tent and it’s been great, you can scooch in with kiddo for a cuddle and then zip them in once they’re asleep.
AnonATL says
Is anyone planning to decline the monthly child payment and instead planning to claim it on taxes for next year? Just saw something on NPR about the ability to decline it.
We don’t really need the monthly payment.
Anonymous says
Yes, I am planning to decline the monthly payment. We are not eligible for the expanded child tax credit, only the original credit, and our tax withholding is already perfectly calibrated so we don’t get a refund and owe a few dollars. If we were to take the monthly payment, which is an advance on the credit for which you’re eligible, we’d just have to repay it at tax time.
Anon says
I understand why you’d decline it if you’ll owe the money back at tax time. But if you can claim it at tax time, why not take the money now? Otherwise you’re just giving the federal government an interest free loan.
Lyssa says
Is there any advantage to that? I certainly don’t need the monthly payment (or any payment), but I don’t know that it makes a difference either way. It did inspire my husband and me to get off our duffs and start getting serious about college savings, though, so we’re planning to put it right in there.
Anonymous says
+1. That’s what we’re going to do with the money.
Pogo says
I didn’t hear about this, but it looks like it phases out completely for married filing jointly if AGI is over $170K?
Anonymous says
That’s the expanded credit. For some dumb reason, they are also giving monthly payments for part of the regular credit, which doesn’t start to phase out until $400K for joint filers.
Anon says
I think it would depend on # of kids and their ages.
“Above these income thresholds, the extra amount above the original $2,000 credit — either $1,000 or $1,600 per child — is reduced by $50 for every $1,000 in modified AGI,” the IRS’s website states.
If I’m doing the math right it wouldn’t phase out completely until $214k if you have two children under 5.
Pogo says
ooo ok thanks! makes sense.
Par-tay says
Any outdoor activity suggestions for kids around 14 or 15 months old? I’m hosting a backyard party and several kids that age will be there. I have some bubbles. Should I get sidewalk chalk? A used baby slide or playhouse of some kind from f@ceb00k marketplace? A small tent or tunnel that collapses for storage? We have a kiddie pool but I’m not sure about putting it out because then people might need to go in and out of the house to change diapers/clothes more frequently. I have a baby, so anything that we buy will probably get used by us eventually.
Anonymous says
With kids that age, you would need to watch a kiddie pool constantly to avoid drowning. The small Little Tikes folding slide is perfect for that age and only about $35 new. A bubble machine would also be a hit, but we got rid of ours because it was noisy and messy and produced too many bubbles to leave on for very long.
Anonymous says
I just bought a <$10 pineapple bubble machine from Target. It may need to be refilled often, but otherwise seems great.
Anon says
water table and little tikes slide were big hits at my home at that age. a couple of balls – ideally ones they can’t hurt themselves with. also, people don’t have to go inside to change their clothes
AwayEmily says
I don’t think you need to get anything new. Just bring a bunch of your inside toys outside and they will be Exciting and New to all the kids.
Anonymous says
You need balls, lots of balls. And toy cars/vehicles. They would probably love some kind of water play – a table, even a bucket and toys – but they will get soaked.
Katala says
Bubbles and a baby slide would be good options. A water table with some cups and funnels would be fun and less (but not zero) need for changing. Also snacks.
Anon says
We had a first birthday party with a large basket of balls. The kids spent the entire party picking up the balls and carrying them to and fro, putting them into and taking them out of the basket. It was endlessly entertaining for 10-16 month olds.
Kirsten
Anon says
Beach balls totally work for this. You can even put them in the baby pool sans water.
Mary Moo Cow says
You can fill the pool with plastic balls to make a ball pit. My kids loved that! Water in summer and balls in the other three seasons, so I got a lot of use out of that $10 pool!
Chalk probably won’t be appreciated by kids that age, but a pop-up tunnel would be (at least, it was with my kids.) We also had the Little Tykes slide/swing/tunnel combo, which was great because 2 or more kids could use it at the same time.
Anonymous says
Do you own a wagon? For DS’s first birthday we gave him a wagon and the kids around that age who came to the party loved being pulled around the park with him in the wagon
Backpacks? says
What do people like for elementary schooler backpacks? Looking for something that lasts. I had LL Bean packs as a kid, anything else as good or better out there now?
Anonymous says
LL Bean is still the best and most durable.
Anon says
+1.
PistachioLemon says
+1
Anonymous says
My son has been using his basic Land’s End pack for 4 years. We need to replace it because he’s gotten taller, not because it is falling apart. So you don’t need something indestructible when they are still growing.
Anonymous says
PS – Jansport still does free replacements I think. I have a friend who, in her 40s, is still sending hers back for a free replacement or repair when it breaks. She’s been doing this since we were in high school.
anon says
REI workload mini is great and on sale right now.
Mary Moo Cow says
Ugh, my rising first grader just asked for a new backpack and of course picked the PBK Mackenzie Princess backpack with matching lunchbox and water bottle. I’d rather not pay that for a bag that she might think of as babyish in a few years, but she didn’t get a new backpack for K and, admittedly, the LL Bean bag is getting a bit small to carry the daily folder, the spare art shirt, the extra hand sanitizer, etc. Usually I go with LL Bean or Land’s End, solid colors so they’ll last for several years.
anon says
LLBean makes excellent backpacks. My kiddo is in 5th grade, has had one since 1st grade, and it still looks almost brand new.
For my younger kiddo, I could not pass up the pretty PBK prints. So far, so good.
Anonymous says
The North Face or Patagonia or Adidas are big with the older elementary kids at our school.
Anon for this says
I just need to share, I’ve made an appointment and am getting Botox this week!
Just on the vertical ’11’ lines between my eyebrows. If you knew me in real life, I’m a fairly low-maintenance kind of a gal… but as I’m getting older I can see that deep creases are starting to form and make me look mad (especially when you can’t see me smiling). I’m all about the cute little smile lines but… no thank you to looking angry.
I told one friend and my husband but… I just wanted to shout it out because I’m so excited not to look ‘mad’ with my mask on.
Anon says
Ha, I love my resting b1tch face because I love not getting approached by strangers. Everyone warned me people would touch me constantly when I was pregnant and no one did. But you do you! Glad this will make you happy and you’re doing it.
Anonymous says
This is me too! No one bothered me while pregnant and I pretty much never have people say rude stuff to me about parenting/kids. And I’m a really smily upbeat person when talking.
Anon says
it’s the best money I spend every 3-4 months. so totally worth it.
Anonymous says
gift ideas for a turning 7 year old first grade girl? She does not like art, barbie, or legos, which are my defaults. She does karate and gymnastics, is VERY high energy and a good reader.
I kind of want to go with some kind of active outdoor toy– like nerf type stuff? She has 10 year old older brother so I think they are good with NERF but that’s the sort of thing I’ve been thinking about.
gym mom says
If she’s on preteam or team, Birkenstocks (ask her mom what style is popular at her gym–at ours it is tan Mayaris), Uggs, flannel PJ pants with “GYMNASTICS” down the side (q-sport dot com is a good source), black Nike Pro b00ty shorts (check gym policies to verify that shorts are allowed), or a Hydroflask water bottle will make her feel like one of the big girls.
Anonymous says
UPDATE: I got her a personalized swim suit wet bag for the summer, plus sunglasses and a hooded unicorn towel.
(she’s not on any kind of really competitive team, and I am hesitant to buy shoes)
Anonymous says
Perfect! Useful and cute, not cluttery.
Preganon says
I’m 19 weeks pg with #3 and just already feeling big. I was bigger with #2 than #1 (and she was almost 2 lbs heavier at birth!) Just not looking forward to the rude comments from strangers, etc and worrying I’ll feel gigantic and swollen over the summer. Also really hoping this baby isn’t 2 lbs heavier than #2! Any thoughts/advice…?
Anon says
If it’s any comfort, weight doesn’t have much to do with how hard the baby is to get out – it’s head size that matters for that. And there are advantages to bigger kids – they tend to eat and sleep better from the beginning. I wouldn’t have wanted a 12 lber or anything but 9 lbs is kind of ideal size imo (even though I was terrified of birthing a 9 lb baby when I was pregnant!).
Katala says
Yes, the extra weight, presuming a normal-sized head, is mostly squishy so doesn’t necessarily make them much harder to birth. Mine were 8 lbs and 8.5 lbs 3 weeks early and were great eaters and sleepers at the very beginning. This baby’s measuring ahead too but her head is measuring less ahead than her tummy. I’m all for a chubby, squishy baby that eats and sleeps!
OP, I feel you, when I go out (rarely) I get so many comments about how surprised people are that I have 6 weeks to go and only one baby in there. Like thanks, I really need your comments about how huge I am based on your expertise on how 34 weeks should look.
Anonymous says
+1 my 2nd was 9lbs7oz and the birth was actually easier than his 7lb sister because it was my 2nd and his head wasn’t much bigger! It was just all extra fat and length on him. I will say I felt a LOT more pelvic pressure because I unknowingly had a full term sized baby in me at 36 weeks. You’re probably just looking bigger because of looser muscles/3rd baby dtuff
anon says
I hated pregnancy weight comments. Just keep it to yourself, people! There’s no good weight comment, either. No one wants to be told they look huge, and no one also wants to be told they look skinny and start worrying about fetus size. I always wanted to retort with a a sarcastic “yeah, let’s all talk about our weight gain in a group setting, that’ll be soooo funnnn. Let’s throw in religion and politics too! What’s your stance on abortion? HAHAHA.” Maybe you can do it for me and let me know how good it felt.
Hang in there and keep repeating to yourself that you’re a badass growing a human.
Spirograph says
Ugh, sorry to not be a ray of sunshine, but you probably *will* feel gigantic and swollen over the summer. My 3rd is an August baby and it was not a pleasant summer, but it didn’t last forever. Lean into muumuus in breathable fabric, get comfy shoes, and make sure you have a pool membership. And maybe pandemic muscle memory will keep strangers away from you!
On the plus side, I didn’t gain significantly more weight with #3 than I did with 1 or 2, I just got pregnant-shaped much sooner. This may just be your body “remembering” and getting ahead of the game. My first baby was pretty small, but the next two were about the same size as each other, 2lbs more than #1. No linear increase! :)
Congrats and good luck!
Pogo says
+1, this was my experience with #2 last summer. However I have a pretty good tolerance for the heat, and I gained less weight than with my first, so I wasn’t really swollen and miserable.
But I for sure looked 3rd tri pregnant by 20 weeks. And both times people told me my baby was going to huge and both times, they kinda were. Whatever.
Anon says
uch the comments are the worst.
stranger: “you’re so big, you must be pregnant with twins.”
me: “actually, yes i am”
stranger: “you could not possibly be carrying twins, you’re too small for that. you must not be eating enough.”
Mary Moo Cow says
I have a May baby and an August baby. I dreaded being pregnant over the summer, but tried to embrace it. I actually was comfortable and gained less weight overall, though more in the beginning than with my first pregnancy. I wore mostly sleeveless dresses and occasionally, t-shirts and linen shorts, and Birkenstocks Arizonas. (The very last hole in the strap is your friend.) I wore compression stockings at home and propped my feet up at work and exercised more than I did in my first pregnancy, and felt better because of those things. Toward the end, people did say things like “you’re huge! sure you’re not due tomorrow?” and I just inwardly rolled my eyes. I tried to remember that this was likely my last pregnancy so I could endure it. On the other hand, people were more sympathetic, like offering me a chair or water or turning up the AC and saying, “you must be so hot!” I am, thanks.
Anonymous says
I think people are just always going to say a pregnant woman is huge no matter what. Thanks to hyperemesis, I was legitimately skinny, with bony arms and hips that wouldn’t hold up size XS maternity pants and a basketball belly. I still had people telling me I looked like I was going to deliver any day starting at 6 months.
Pogo says
wtf is wrong with people.
HSAL says
Does anyone use the Lo & Sons Catalina Day Tote as a diaper/kid/casual excursion bag? I love the Rowledge for work but am looking for more of a tote for taking out. My old diaper backpack is bulky with more compartments than I need, so I was looking for something a little sleeker when going out for a half-day or so.
Anon. says
I use my ‘work’ Rowledge as a diaper bag for now since work from home means no work bag and I like the bag too much to not use it!
I can’t space to the day tote, but have the larger Catalina for overnight trips and have been very happy with the construction, durability etc.
2 under 2 says
Any recommendations for a mattress for kiddo’s new big girl (floor) twin bed? Online searches suggest Tuft & Needle might be a good buy, but wondering if there are other options to consider. Kiddo is not potty trained, so I’m guessing a mattress protector is a must. Anything else I should buy? Thank you!
CCLA says
Both of our kids have tuft and needle original, works great, I have slept on it a few times! I did not like the mattress protector that came from tuft and needle, it seemed loose and moved around – I like the amazon basics one and keep two per mattress on hand so we can replace if there’s an accident. I’ve heard of ppl layering the mattress protectors but I never bothered, accidents were rare enough for us that it wasn’t worth it.
HSAL says
Yes to a mattress protector, always.
Unless adults are sometimes going to be sleeping on it, I’d go much cheaper for a kid’s twin mattress. If my kid can comfortably sleep on the floor or in awkward positions, she’s going to be just fine on a cheap mattress. I’d only spend a couple hundred bucks on something decently reviewed. Our oldest went from a toddler bed to a full that will occasionally have guests and I think we spent around $400 from Costco.
Anonymous says
I prefer innerspring mattresses. We just bought out daughter a Saatva that I really like. I wish I’d bought the thinner version, though–the thick one is very heavy and difficult to change the sheets on.
Mary Moo Cow says
Both our kids have Allswell twin mattresses. Tuck dot com has reviews and (usually) a discount code. I bought a waterproof mattress protector from Target (one that stretches over the bed, not the kind that zippers on.
We bought a cheap twin from a mattress store for our older kid, and it only lasted about 2 years before it got saggy and squeaky and visibly compressed. You get what you pay for, to some degree.
Anon says
If you’re in the Chicago area, we love a local mattress shop, Quality Sleep Shop. They deliver to most of the suburbs I know for sure.
Otherwise we got some kids Juniper mattresses from Costco and they worked well for several years.
Anonymous says
We’ve got a Nest Big Kids Bed, which we really like. Kid seems cozy. Mattress seems high quality. And it should get him through a number of years, since we plan to keep him in a twin for a long time in our small house.
Anonymous says
If you are planning to keep it on the floor for a long time, you might not want a foam mattress. They are supposed to be on slats so some air can get under them to avoid mold. I’m not sure how much I would care, but FYI. We got the Zinus Green Tea foam mattress for our son a couple of years ago and it seems fine. It was the Wirecutter’s cheap foam recommendation. Get both a bedbug-proof mattress encasement and a waterproof mattress pad; the latter is much easier to take off and wash; the former keeps bedbugs out. We have a waterproof encasement and I put a sheet on top of that, then the waterproof pad, then another sheet. That way I can change it easily and quickly if needed. Although in my case the cat peeing on the bed is the problem, not my kid.
Daycare bag? says
What do you all use for daycare bags for infants/kids who can’t carry their own bags, yet? My daycare just started allowing us to keep sheets and backup clothes there, so my kid doesn’t need such a large bag (and honestly, I hate it, but it was free and I’d forgotten to get a bag until the weekend before she started).
Mary Moo Cow says
We use the reusable grocery bag that daycare gave us. It’s lightweight and clearly marked with the daycare logo so I don’t mix it up with other bags. Also, if it is just going to live at daycare, I wanted it to be cheap and disposable.
Anon. says
We also use a reusable grocery bag – not daycare provided though. And my toddler proudly marches put of the building with it over her arm. It’s almost as big as her, but she can carry it if it’s just a days worth of dirty clothes or something.
Anon. says
We’ve been using since she was a baby. It was big enough to hold the soft sided cooler we sent bottles in and also collect clothes, papers, pacifiers etc. Now that she’s not using bottles it doesn’t come home every day, only when they have dirty clothes or something.
Anon says
They had very specific requirements for the backup clothes bin. It has to be clear and certain dimensions to fit in a cubby. It took me forever but I finally found one that met their specifications (at least enough that they didn’t complain to us).
For the bedding I use a Vera Bradley tote bag I got on a press trip. It’s not my style at all, so I’m happy to have it live at daycare but it’s sturdier than a plastic bag or one of the flimsy tote bags that you get as conference swag. My kid is 3 and could carry a backpack but the bedding doesn’t really fit in a backpack so we just send it in a tote bag. None of the kids seem to wear backpacks, I think that’s more common at schools where parents have to send in meals and snacks.
Anonymous says
I should’ve clarified – this is the bag to go to and from daycare every day, not the one that stays there. My kid is one of the only full time babies, so I’m never at pickup at the same time as other parents of babies and have no idea what they use. Lots of 3-year-olds with backpacks, though.
Pogo says
One of those LL Bean Bote n Totes, monogrammed w/ his name.
Anon says
I send our stuff (folder, lunch, sometimes clothes, sheets once a week) in a little daypack/backpack that was my husband’s. Some people also use totes.
Io says
The LL Bean Boat n tote with the diaper bag insert and the kid’s initials. Then you take out the insert and use it as an activity /gym/car travel bag. Good for YEARS.
Anonymous says
Pro tip: if this is your first and you go the LL Bean route, consider putting the LAST name on the bag (or even last initial), not the first. Otherwise you’ll end up sending #2 and #3 to daycare with a bag labeled with his brother’s name. Ask me how I know :)