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The matching PJ thing has leaped from winter holidays all the way to Halloween.
Hanna Andersson always has such fun prints, and their Halloween ones are darling. I just sent three sets to my nieces and nephew in this “candy apples” print. These soft, organic cotton pajamas have smooth seams for comfort and (as I can attest) last wash after wash. These pajamas currently come in seven prints ranging from ghosts and bats to gummy bears and pumpkins.
These pajamas are on sale starting at $13.29, depending on the print. They come in sizes 2 to 14-16.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
Anon says
We are dealing with our first run-in with Covid in our house and I’m at my wit’s end. We had to miss my sister’s wedding and a work conference already. Now it seems like we’re on the “extended” track – Kid 1 tested positive 2 weeks ago, then kid 2 last week, now #3 tested positive maximizing our childcare issues. Per our health dept, kids 1 and 2 can go back to school, since they’re past their isolation. Does this mean we need to cancel their Halloween plans this weekend? Obv we wouldn’t take #3, but if the other 2 are back in school do they need to miss out? The guidelines are so unclear, so just wondering if anyone’s been there and has insight.
HSAL says
With the first two kids being past the ten day mark (and presumably no symptoms) I think it’s fine for them to trick or treat. Could you set up some trick or treat “stations” in your house for #3?
Anon says
If they’re out of isolation it’s fine to trick or treat. I’d have them wear a mask if it hasn’t been 10 days (unless they’re testing negative) but I’m at the more cautious end of the spectrum.
Anon says
+1 and whichever adults from your household are going trick or treating with them should also be masked (since you’re exposed per CDC)
Mary Moo Cow says
I also would take kids #1 and #2 trick or treating. Poor kid #3! Missing the holidays just stinks.
If you are trick or treating with people who know the situation, hopefully they’ll volunteer to throw in some extra candy for Kid. Also, one year a kid in neighborhood was in the hospital on Halloween, so several neighbors kept up decorations and saved candy and we dropped off goodies the day off and then offered to let him trick or treat a few days later. Do you have any neighbors or friends who would do this?
OP says
Thanks so much. Kid #3 is still a baby, so luckily he doesn’t really know what he’s missing. Reassuring to hear that it may be ok for #1 & #2, who would def know what they’re missing! They’ve also been invited to a couple of parties this weekend too so trying to gauge how to approach that…
Anonymom says
We went through something similar when Covid slowly made its way through our house. If your kids are past isolation, and for sure if they’re testing negative, they should not put others at risk. (In fact, they are probably pretty safe right now!) You could preview with the hosts if they might feel differently, but I think they’re definitely fine to have normal interactions with others.
Clementine says
PSA – just go ahead and buy the matching Hanna Christmas pajamas now. I usually get a generic ‘winter’ theme and wear them all year. Actually, my (adult) Hanna long John pajamas are some of my favorites. Not sheer, wash well, appropriate to wear around other humans…
Mine got shipped this week and I’m kind of thrilled to have our ‘Christmas Eve Gift’ checked off our list.
SC says
Thanks for the PSA. I need to get in the holiday spirit!
DLC says
+ 1 to this! I also find this time of year is a good combination of available styles and sale prices.
Anonymous says
I also do “winter” PJs, usually with snowflakes, instead of an overt holiday print. It annoys me to no end that Old Navy only sells their flannel PJ bottoms in holiday prints. I do not want to buy PJs that can only be worn for one month out of the year, and I don’t want to wear Christmas PJs in February.
ifiknew says
How do you do the room set up at hotels for family vacations? We’ll have a 4 and 6 year old mixed gender siblings. They sleep in their own rooms at home and are not used to sharing a room, much less sharing a bed. It seems egregious to stay in hotels with 2 bedrooms every time so each child can have their own bed, but I also dont see the 1 bedroom set up where mom and dad sleep in the king bed and the kids having to share the queen pull out couch in the living room working. Any ideas? I could see if the hotel would provide one rollaway bed. I want hotel amenities, so not looking to do an airbnb.
Also, meals, do you typically eat out for every meal or do breakfast at home? We’re new to traveling frequently, so would love your best tips! Thanks!
Anon says
We are frequent travelers with b/g kids (8 and 10) who do not love sharing a bed. A few options —
1) always ask about a rollaway when checking in. Many hotels have a policy that it costs more, but I’ve found a lot of hotels will put it in your room and won’t charge you extra.
2) Sometimes you can find a room with two beds and a couch – this works well too.
3) In a pinch, I will sleep with my daughter and my son will sleep with my husband. It helps a little to have a bigger person with a smaller person doing the bed sharing.
4) The Stokke JetKids airbed has been a lifesaver. It is a packable air bed that has a built in hand pump (inflates in less than 2 minutes) that compresses down. We have tossed this thing into many suitcases for many trips, and just switch up who ends up on the air bed.
Anon says
We usually do a 2-queen room set up and put an adult and a kid in each bed. Or maybe in your scenario the smaller kid can sleep in the king, too, and the older one can sleep on the couch alone? Bring white noise machines, too.
Anon says
Mom + daughter in one double/queen, dad + son in the other.
Chl says
Our kids are 2 years apart. Up until when they were about 6 or 7 we slept one parent/ one kid in each bed. Recently they’ve mellowed and now are used to sharing a bed in hotels.
GCA says
I have a 7yo and a 4yo. We also do two queen or king beds; on vacation the kids ask to sleep in the same bed (they share a room at home). Quite often the 4yo ends up in our bed anyway after about 5am. I would try a few setups and see what they want to do; kids are well aware that vacation entails unusual sleep arrangements and lots of fun things they wouldn’t do at home (watching tv in bed, for instance!)
Mary Moo Cow says
We do one adult in each bed with a kid. (Mine are also 4 &6.) They just can’t with each other in the same bed. It quickly devolves from a giggle fest to a kicking and whining brawl. DH and I have Glousent neck lamps that we use for reading in bed and then just call it an early night. TBH, no one really sleeps that well. Shrug.
We eat breakfast at the hotel, if it is provided, and lunch and dinner out. I try to pack packaged snacks from home and either grab extra fruit from the hotel (like a banana, apple, or orange) to take along as a snack. If that’s not possible, then I order fruit as an extra side when possible and everyone shares it.
An indoor pool is such a novelty to the kids that sweetens the pot when staying at a hotel.
Anon says
I only have one kid, but I would think two kids could share a bed pretty easily, or if they can’t you can have one kid with each parent. I have no problem sharing a queen+ size bed with my 4 year old and most hotel rooms can give you two queen beds. You can also often book a rollaway bed or a sofa bed without paying way more. I think it’s when you have 3+ kids that a standard room setup becomes difficult to impossible.
For meals, we tend to eat out a lot. In Europe, hotel rooms usually come with breakfast included and in Covid times this often means you can have it delivered to the room at no extra charge, which was really nice (not sure if that’s gone away now, but it was the case at all the European hotels we stayed at in spring/summer 2022). But other than breakfast if it’s included, we eat all meals out. We don’t do three sit down meals a day though. Usually just breakfast and dinner and then get snacks to tide us over during the day.
Anon says
(I guess I should say at an all-inclusive resort or cruise we do three sit down meals a day, because why not? haha. It’s free and there’s not a ton to do on those types of trips. But when we’re staying at a normal hotel with no food or just breakfast, we don’t go out for lunch.)
Anonymous says
My main goal for our own vacations is usually maximizing sleep and we usually can’t afford two hotel rooms so we Airbnb it. However I grew up always sharing the second bed or pull out couch or whatever with my younger brother and it was fine. Alternately someone can sleep on the floor.
Anon says
I actually sleep way better sharing a bed with my 4 year old than I do at home! I usually end up going to bed when she does and not reading or playing on my phone, since the light could wake her up. So I often end up getting 10+ hours of sleep, which is way more than I normally manage at home. It’s actually one of the things I look forward to most about family vacations.
Clementine says
So. This is one of the reasons that I sometimes struggle with the idea of having 3 kids versus two – the hotel accommodations. Is that minor? Well… yes and no. `That being said… we still have one in a pack and play, but my kids see it as kind of part of the novelty of traveling.
Anonymous says
I have 3 and depending on the vacation we do two queens + pullout, or king suite plus pull out in the main area plus air bed or rollaway or two adjoining rooms.
If it’s just a night we do the first. If it’s a fun trip, we spring for a joining rooms. I don’t want to share with my kids at all regardless of their gender or number . :)
DLC says
Our kids are 10, 5 and 3. Our ideal is king suite with sofa bed in a separate room. 3 year old sleeps with parents in king bed, 10 and 5 year old share sofa bed. The kids understand that bed sharing is just par for the course when we travel.
We also try really hard to pick a hotel with a breakfast option. We usually do lunch and dinner out or bring dinner back to the hotel and eat in front of the TV. Watching TV in a hotel room is one of my kids’ favorite part of travelling.
I will say, the longest we stay in a hotel is 3/4 nights because sofa beds and eating out lose their charm after then . Anything longer we try really hard for an airbnb.
An.On. says
Growing up, my brother and I (about 2 years apart) shared beds when we traveled, and we did fine. We’d get queen beds which were larger than the twins we normally slept in. I think we graduated to separate beds when our parents had more $ and we were older, say early teens.
Anonymous says
We Airbnb it because I hate sleep issues but this is such a laughable problem looking back on my childhood. Our family of 5 traveled a LOT as one of my siblings had an intense travel sport and we always shared one hotel room. 2 siblings in one bed, the other one on a rollaway, or someone (child or adult) slept on the floor. Yes, I’m serious. I have a boy/girl but once the younger one is a bit older I have no problem making them share a hotel bed.
OP says
It really is a first world problem, so so much. I just am a grumpy mess and cannot enjoy the trips if i’m tired and my children are SO cranky if they dont get enough, but maybe this will continue to get better as they are getting older..
Anon says
Have you traveled recently? I only have one, but age 4 was a big turning point for us in terms of travel sleep/jetlag. She’s old enough that we can explain when she’s supposed to be sleeping and she (mostly) complies. It’s much, much easier to cross multiple timezones than it was even a year ago.
I have a high sleep needs kid and am high sleep needs myself, so I get it. Trips are much less fun if someone is not getting enough sleep.
Anonymous says
Not that poster but my 4 year old handled time zone changes waaaaaaaaay better than my high sleep needs second grader who ended up not falling asleep till almost 2 am.
Anon says
Melatonin helps a lot if the issue is falling asleep. But it doesn’t do as much for middle-of-the-night wakings, which was our issue when my kid was a baby and toddler. Now we can point at the sky and say “It’s nighttime, go to sleep” and she gets it. I was also personally hesitant to use melatonin in a baby or toddler who couldn’t communicate if she felt “off” or was having weird dreams the way an older kid can. I know people have different comfort levels with it though.
Anonymous says
One room two queen beds kids share. Who cares if they are used to it
Op says
Because they don’t sleep well then they’re a grumpy mess. That’s why I’m asking..appreciate all those helpful responses
Anonymous says
Thanks!
Anonymous says
You may be surprised at the quality of sleep on vacations. Mine (7/4 B&G) get so tired on trips that they quickly fall asleep and stay asleep. They share full / queen beds on trips without any problems (they have separate rooms at home and the 4YO comes up with excuses to get up numerous times before falling asleep)
Anonymous says
writing this from an embassy suites suite with 2 queen beds in the bedroom and a pull out couch in the living area. we’re doing 1 parent with 1 kid in each of the queens and the extra kid on the pull out couch. if we have 2 kings, we usually do 2 kids in one bed and DH and me in the other, plus a roll-away cot or couch if there is one. and sometimes we do get 2 adjoining rooms, in which case it’s grown-ups in one room and the 2 same sex kids share a bed in the other room. that’s because the opposite sex kid wets the bed frequently, though, not because of gender. i don’t understand why 4 and 6 can’t share a bed, even if they are opposite genders? kids are excitable and wound up in a hotel no matter what, sharing a bed is not adding a significant additional complication, to me.
Cb says
I’ve been gone since Sunday (and my husband and son left on Friday) and this week was a rough one. I normally take two buses from the airport to home, and my husband decided that he’d get T ready for bed, throw him in the car, and come and get me so I don’t have to wait til the morning for a cuddle. My son likes to roll down his window as they pull into the pick-up and yell “where’s my lovely muuuuummmmyyyyy!” to the delight of the other people waiting for taxis.
Anything you’re looking forward to this weekend?
Clementine says
Awww! That’s very sweet!
Yes, I’m looking forward to baking pumpkin muffins with my kids. Well, what I actually do is set my toddler up with measuring cups of water in a baking dish in the sink and then bake them with my 6 year old.
Anon says
It’s a crazy weekend of Halloween/fall stuff for us. School Halloween party tonight, trick or treating with farm animals tomorrow, mitzvah day at Sunday school (basically volunteering, but requires parent participation unlike normal Sunday school) and then a fall festival on Sunday afternoon where my kid is performing with her Y dance class. And then of course actual trick or treating is Monday night. It will be fun for all of us, especially 4 year old, but I’m exhausted just thinking about it. It’s also a really busy (and unpleasant) time at work for me because I’m finishing up a huge annual project that I really dislike and this week has been stressful.
Seafinch says
Also going to be a crazy weekend for us. We have a a Name Day and a Birthday this week. I do Halloween costumes from scratch and we host a Halloween Party every year. So two parties, three days apart. Work is crazy and my boss is going on leave for a month for surgery and I am holding down the fort. I am hoping for a calm before the storm weekend when I can get the costumes done and am super excited to have my anatomy scan done on Monday. I have had very little monitoring this pregnancy and am anxious.
Anonymous says
What is a Name Day?
Anon says
I’m Jewish but I know this lol. It’s the day that honors the saint who shares your name. I think it’s more common in some non-American cultures. I had a Polish friend growing up who celebrated this. It was a much bigger deal than her birthday.
Seafinch says
Yep, that is it. Sort of a Feast Day in origin related to the name. It’s morphed a lot and depends on the country. I need another Holiday obligation like a hole in the head but a decade of European Au Pairs has entrenched the “holiday” and I can’t seem to out run. It was a quite a big deal for some of them.
Marshmallow says
That is so sweet! I’m ducking out of work a bit early this afternoon so we can carve pumpkins and watch The Great Pumpkin on our projector in the backyard around the fire pit. Our daughter is so excited for Halloween.
Grapes? says
I need a gut check. I recently happened to see the kids in my toddler’s class eating lunch. One of the kiddos had a container full of whole grapes. They were brought from home, so it’s not like the school is serving them, but it still seems super weird to me. I mentioned something to the teacher who said that she thinks it’s odd too, but thats how the parents send them all the time and the child does fine with them whole. Is this a mind-my-own-business thing?
My concern is that even if that child can eat them whole, another child (including my 2 year old) could pick them up off the floor or something and choke. But I don’t want to be the parent that’s critiquing other parents’ lunch choices either. So I don’t know what to do.
FVNC says
Two thoughts:
1. I think the teacher should cut up the grapes at lunch time, or ask the parent to send cut grapes. This is a safety issue and I’m surprised the school is okay with it. (Teacher should handle, not you.)
2. In my experience, daycare kids have the “no sharing food” rule drilled into them from a very early age, even before covid (because of allergy risks). So, I wouldn’t worry about your kiddo picking up a grape off the floor or reaching into the other kid’s lunch.
Lily says
I would 100% ask the teacher to cut them up or instruct parents not to send choking hazards. I would also be concerned about inadvertent sharing, and also concerned for that kid. Maybe the parents just don’t know, and would be horrified and appreciate being told.
startup lawyer says
Unless the school has a rule about this (e.g., like no nuts or whatever), I think it’s a your problem. Many toddlers I know have been eating whole grapes since they were under 2 (under supervision). Maybe you can practice it at home or just teach your kid not to eat food off the floor.
anon says
I think food requirements should be dealt with as a school/age group level rule and not a one-off.
If you feel compelled, maybe talk with the director about the possibility of a school rule? But, I’d be inclined to let it go.
OP says
Of course I try to teach him not to eat off the floor. But he is a toddler and he does all kinds of things I’m trying to teach him not to do.
Our pediatrician’s office has a huge sign saying no whole grapes until at least age 4 (and ours recommends cutting them even longer) so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable for not having “taught” my kiddo to eat them whole.
Anonymous says
Until 4? Yeah, your pediatrician and that poster is very extra.
Well says
That is the AAP recommendation. It is in fact based on physical development. You don’t have to follow it, certainly, but the idea that it’s ridiculous or unheard of is uneducated.
NYCer says
+1. With a caveat that I don’t have kids in daycare, I think this is a mind your own business thing. You already brought it up to the teacher. If they had a rule, I think it would have been addressed by now.
Anon says
+2. We stopped cutting grapes at home around 2.5 because my kid was doing fine with whole grapes. Our daycare provides food, but if I’d had to send grapes into school I probably would have cut them just because of the shame factor. But I don’t think there’s anything to do in this situation except mind your own business and practice eating whole grapes at home under close supervision if you’re really anxious about your kid eating off the floor. I agree with others though who said that no food sharing is one of the first rules daycare kids catch on to (even pre-Covid, but especially in these times) and it wouldn’t worry me.
Mary Moo Cow says
I would let it go. You’ve brought it up with the teacher and know that teacher is aware. Unless you know differently, it is possible that teacher has made a comment to parents that has been ignored or had push back. For me, this is mind your own business.
Anon says
This.
OP says
Thanks, I’m leaning toward letting it go. I try really hard not to be “that mom” but it frustrates me a little bit because we are so careful with lunch allergy requirements (no peanuts or nuts of any kind, no eggs, etc.) Given all of the restrictions, it just seems weird that choking hazards are allowed in a room with 18 month olds? I think as parents we all have things we worry more/less about, so I need to accept that I can’t control everything.
anonM says
This. A cousin w who has in the past worked in a daycare center said parents often sent things like grapes, too-large pieces of celery, etc. Parents would get mad when daycare teachers told them to cut them and that the staff doesn’t have time to do it for each kid. Let it go.
TheElms says
I might be that parent. In the 2’s room (so 2 year olds turning 3) I sent cut grapes, but now in the 3’s room (where it just happens that half the class is already 4, but my daughter is still 3) I send whole grapes. In a 2s room I think I’d say something because I see that as a safety issue. I guess its still a safety issue but as the kids are all getting close to 4, it bothers me a lot less.
Last year our school served popcorn to 2 year olds and I said something. I just emailed the teacher and director with a link to the AAP guidelines on choking hazards and asked them to change the snack in future and they did. I don’t think I’d say something this year, however.
OP says
This room is 18 month old and 2 year olds.
Anonymous says
A child around this age died in DC a few years ago when a nanny fed him uncut grapes. I would have no qualms about being that mom in this situation. I would talk with the director/ teacher about requiring that the parent cut them in half until age 3 or 4, and frame it as a matter of safety policy, not a personal attack.
Anon says
I would be similarly anxious about this. It should be a rule; if parents push back then teachers could take that part of the lunch away until they comply.
But unfortunately that’s out of your control, so if I were in your shoes I would teach my toddler how to eat whole grapes (take small bites, always sit, etc) and occasionally practice at home. I remember reading something about how dangerous it is for 4/5 yr olds who only have experience with cut grapes and hot dogs to suddenly be in a school setting or at a friends house and learning to eat them whole while rushing, fooling with friends, etc. It made sense to me to I’m trying to practice at home at earlier ages.
Anonymous says
+1 to start practicing at home. This is what we’ve been doing with our 2YO and and keep reminding our 6YO.
But I’m not anxious about it like OP is.
Marshmallow says
I would be that mom and tell the teacher firmly you have been thinking about this, it’s a safety issue, and you really need the school to either cut the grapes or make a blanket rule prohibiting choking hazard foods. Our preschool has a similar rule re uncut grapes, carrot sticks, grape tomatoes, etc. and DD’s classroom goes up to age 4. I know this may rub some people the wrong way, but I will not take a chance with safety for my kid or any other kid, at least when it’s something that obvious. But this is definitely a thing to address with the teacher/school, not for you to bring to the other parents.
Anonymous says
I’m really surprised at these responses. Mind your own business.
Anon says
How is a choking hazard being brought into a classroom full of toddler none of the parents’ business?
Anon says
I mean, aren’t there lots of potential choking hazards in toddler classrooms? Like small beads and stuff like that? I definitely get wanting to cut your own child’s grapes, but being worried about your child getting another child’s grapes off the floor and choking seems a little far fetched to me.
?? says
What? Hopefully daycare teachers have the sense not to leave small beads and other items a toddler could choke on around a classroom.
Anon says
I’ve never seen a daycare classroom that doesn’t have some small toys or other objects. Maybe not in an infant room but anything above that, yeah there are small things kids could potentially choke on. Being this worried about someone else’s grapes is very, very weird to me, and I consider myself a fairly anxious person.
Well… says
Grapes are one of the biggest choking hazards to kids because they can easily completely block the airway, they are round and slippery, and they are extremely difficult to dislodge from a child’s throat even with appropriate CPR. There’s a reason for the recommendation that they not be given to small children.
Whether or not you want to serve your child whole grapes at home is a personal choice, but this particular concern is evidence-based and certainly not “crazy.”
Depending on the state, this is also a licensing issue—many states’ regulations specify that whole grapes and hot dogs cannot be served to children under 4.
Anon says
I didn’t say the recommendation against serving whole grapes is illogical. It is evidence based. But just because you’re not supposed to serve them doesn’t mean you need to worry about your child finding some other child’s grape on the floor AND eating it AND choking on it. That chain of events seems highly improbable to me. Risk is a spectrum, right? You can reasonably mitigate risk by not serving whole grapes to your child, without worrying about every rogue grape in their vicinity.
As someone who’s been involved in childcare licensing stuff, it’s very different for daycare staff to serve whole grapes vs allowing a child to eat food their parents sent. I would assume even if the licensing restrictions prohibit the *school* from serving whole grapes to children under 4, they don’t prohibit the school from serving them if the parents send them. I know that’s the case in my state.
Anon says
I just looked up my state’s licensing rules on this issue because I was curious, and it says “Centers shall not offer foods that present a choking hazard to children under three (3) years of age, including, but not limited to, the following: (1) Whole grapes.”
BUT it’s very clear that this is about what the center can serve, not a restriction on what parents can send. It also says that centers can’t, for example, serve juice with added sugar and that they must serve different foods at every meal. I’m sure there are some parents out there sending sugar added juice, and sending the same food for multiple meals because that’s what their picky kid will eat, and no one is confiscating the food. So I really doubt the daycare is violating any licensing regulations.
I do understand that whole grapes are riskier than many foods, and I don’t think it’s crazy at all to cut up your kid’s grapes. But this is likely the first of many lessons in letting go and accepting that you can’t control all the risks around your kid.
anon says
Seriously. It’s not your kid. Toddlers are gonna toddler, but they’re probably not eating each other’s food THAT often. I’d be more upset about that than other people having whole grapes.
Anonymous says
Wow this is next level insane
Anon says
My toddlers eat whole grapes just fine. I think choking is more of an issue before they really learn to chew. Not a reason to freak out. The teacher should be watching and is aware.
FVNC says
I had an epiphany this morning re: how fathers versus mothers handle parental leave at my company. My employer is great in giving all parents (mother, father, birth or adoptive) generous leave. When women (including me) in my company take leave, they tend to *minimize* vacations/PTO except for the inevitable illnesses. When men in my company take leave, they make sure to *maximize* their PTO and sick leave. I just finished covering for a colleague’s 3 month leave (baby is 8 months), and now he’s asked me, two weeks later, to be his backup when he takes a four day weekend. At first, I was resentful — like, hey, you were JUST out. And then I realized — no, he’s actually using his benefits. Same thing happened last year with a different male colleague. Light bulb! I should use all MY vacation too! No real point, just an “aha” moment!
GCA says
In theory, yes! And more men should role model actually using all their benefits and also taking sick time for kids. (This is why we have DH handle most of the routine kid medical appointments; we split the unforeseen sick-kid time out.) In practice… at your workplace, do women get penalized at work for taking the leave – are they perceived as less committed to the job because they take leave?
FVNC says
It’s a good question. Within my company’s law department, definitely not and we have a number of women with and without children in leadership positions (including several women who were recently promoted to executive level). Company-wide, I couldn’t say.
Anon says
I haven’t seen it. I recently took sick leave for several days because my husband had Covid and, as a result, we had no childcare for our toddler. I’m an SVP at a F500.
Seafinch says
100%! My husband is a commanding officer and has been in leadership jobs the last few years and he models this all the time as a concerted effort to change culture. He leaves all the time for medical appointments etc. Interestingly, I have had two bosses in the past five years (pipe hitting streamers) who both said their wives’ careers were the dominant priority and so they were the the primary parent. It was fantastic. They would both leave before 3 p.m. for hockey practice or a weekly medical appointment.
Anon says
Eh I feel like generalizations like this are a little bit sexist. I’ve never not used all my, and I have to twist my husband’s arm to get him to take a vacation. I haven’t really seen it break down along gender lines in my workplace either.
Anon says
*all my vacation leave
FVNC says
Fair. My post was limited to my experience “in my company”; I have no idea what the culture is at other employers.
I’ve been with my company 12 years and have seen this pattern play out multiple times…but for some reason I didn’t identify it until this morning.
HSAL says
Yeah, I tend to agree. My husband never uses all his PTO (doesn’t roll over) and I left a job after 13 years (that had excellent PTO) with only a week of vacation to cash out, and like one sick day. Sure, I used a lot of it for maternity leaves but I was definitely an “earn and burn” person.
Anon says
The only time I ever accrued vacation leave was 2020 when we couldn’t go anywhere, and I burned through the accrual this year. Took almost two full months off in 2022 (total, not all at once). And I have unlimited sick leave so never have to use vacation leave for my own/kid illness.
Anonymous says
I use all my PTO … on kid sick days, doctors’ appointments, etc. That’s why men have time available to take fun days off and long weekends.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Hi all – asking for my BFF who doesn’t read/post here – anyone have any experience giving their small children allergy drops?
BFF has terrible allergies to outside things (takes shots for them) and her younger child does too, so she’s hoping to minimize her experience for the kid. He’s 2 if that makes a difference.
Anonymous says
If you mean the drops that contain small amounts of allergens, I wouldn’t bother. If his allergies are truly severe, she needs to take him to see a pulmonologist.