This simple tee shirt dress has a lot of positive reviews on the Target website — unlike a lot of their other maternity clothes, interestingly enough. (For a good time, read reviews of this dress.) I like the simplicity of this one, the price, and the fact that it’s apparently versatile enough to dress up not only for work but even for fancier events (a number of reviewers note wearing it for their shower or company holiday party). It’s available in five colors, sizes XS-XXL. (Two other winners, according to reviewers, although they’re both a bit casual for my taste: here and here.) Liz Lange for Target Maternity Long Sleeve Tee Shirt Dress
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Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
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- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
- Zappos – 28,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off kids’ camp styles; extra 50% off select sale
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off summer pajamas; up to 50% off all baby styles (semi-annual baby event!)
- Carter’s – Summer deals from $5; up to 60% off swim
- Old Navy – 30% off your order; kid/toddler/baby tees $4
- Target – Kids’ swim from $8; summer accessories from $10
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
anon in nyc says
2 part question:
1) Have you ever returned from maternity leave to a new job? I’m applying for a job, and while long-term I think it would be the right move, I worry about returning straight from maternity leave since the first year in any job is usually a big transition (for me, at least). I worry that it will exacerbate the growing pains associated with leaving my baby with a nanny for the first time, figuring out work/life balance, etc.
2) Would you be willing to cut your maternity leave short for the right position? I have a great opportunity and this particular job does not open up often, but I’m hesitant to give up any of my maternity leave. I’m in big law now and I hate to give up this special time, but don’t want to be short sighted if this new job is a better fit in the long term.
mascot says
2) How much of a cut are you looking at? I was ready to go back (physically and emotionally) by 9-10 weeks. For an awesome opportunity, I could probably have gone back around 8.
ANP says
Yes! I went straight into a new job after having my first child (now PG with my third). I liked it, because it gave me something really meaty and interesting to dive into at work (new challenge, etc.) so in many ways it was a distraction from the fact that I wasn’t with my kiddo in those challenging early weeks back at the office. Now, the caveat was that I started the new position part-time (three days per week) and my husband was home full-time with DD for the first month I went back to work, so we were able to ease the transition somewhat. But overall, it was a great move for me. I always tell people going back to work after maternity leave that you have to like your job (or at least be interested in it) as least as much as you like your kid. Having something new and different to explore with my brain was great for me.
As for your second question…I probably would have with my first child. Now, as a more experienced mom and more senior-level employee, I’m more protective of my leave and have no intent of cutting it short for anyone/thing — and some of this comes from increased confidence in my own work product, too. That said, I would ask: have you been offered a new job yet? If so, have you asked them about start date/flexibility? As someone who’s in a position to hire and fire, if I found the right candidate a few weeks wouldn’t make a difference to me — I’d rather have the best person for the job with a somewhat delayed start vs. picking a #2 candidate for want of a few weeks. Obviously this could change if you’re needed to begin ASAP on a time-sensitive project or something, but that’s just my general feeling on the topic. I would not, however, bring up or negotiate your start date until you have an offer in hand.
Good luck! This is exciting — new baby, new job.
anon in nyc says
Thanks for your thoughts….I am a finalist, so have not yet been offered the position, but am sensitive to the possibility that my maternity leave may put me at a disadvantage. So I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea of giving the last part of it up….both the time and the money. Would end up being about 2 months (1 month leave, 1 month accrued vacation). I’m not sure how much accrued vacation my current firm would pay out if I quit (I think non of the rolled days get paid out). Makes me sad because it’s such a great big law perk, but don’t want to pass this job up if it’s the right move for the long term.
ANP says
I think you’re in a great position! I would wait and see if you get an offer, then assess. Who knows — the offer period could take some time, there could be another round of interviews, whatever — all of which would get you closer to that two-month start period. It’s tough, but you just have to wait and see how things unfold.
Something else to consider: I don’t know if being at a family-friendly workplace is important to you, but how your potential employer reacts to a request to finish out another month of maternity leave is, IMHO, a good indicator of how much they value their employees. If you had an offer TODAY and they wanted you to start in two weeks, but you asked for an additional eight off, I could see them wanting to negotiate. But a month is no biggie and if they’re sweating it, I think that says something about the corporate culture. Just my two cents. Keep us posted!
anon in nyc says
thanks for the support. good point that when all is said in done (background checks, giving notice, etc) it may end up being closer to the time I’d go back anyway. I’ll keep everyone posted if things progress!
Annie says
Your current firm may let you come back and work one day or something to continue to get benefits for an extra period. I’ve had co-workers do that.
Lyssa says
I haven’t done what you describe, but I did wind up changing jobs when my son was 4 months old. (After having taken an 8 week maternity leave.) It was harder than it would have been if he’d been older – I think that around the 3-4 month mark is when babies start to really come into themselves and recognize you and interact some, so it is harder to leave them. I had an advantage that my husband is a SAHD, which did make things easier. I’m happy that I did it that way; it was worth it to change jobs, but it was challenging in some ways.
I would carefully evaluate what the demands of the new job will be, compared to your old job – since you’re coming from biglaw, it’s possible that it will be less demanding, but I would recommend against taking something that would be more so, unless you have a good network in place to handle kid stuff (i.e., a partner at home or very helpful grandparents). Personally, I did not pump during my old job so it was a non-issue, but if you are doing that, it’s a consideration. (I would probably bring it up during the offer stage – yes, they should accommodate you regardless, but it would be better to give a heads up.) Also make sure that you have a plan for childcare issues, since it would be hard to take days off for sickness or leave early in the first few months of a new job.
anon in nyc says
Thanks — it would be less demanding from a time perspective (i.e., regular business hours rather than the unpredictable schedule of big law), but it’s a new area of law for me so it would be a steep learning curve!
Anonyc says
Yes, I’ve done this twice–once going into BigLaw with my first kid, and once going into an entirely new position in government with my second. It’s doable, but the key is that your support system (caregiver(s), partner, backup care, etc.) are all in place. For me, at least, when that system isn’t running smoothly I’m a mess no matter where I am, new job or not. But if you feel like your baby is being well-cared for, you can focus your energy/thoughts more handily on work.
What I found helpful was to start baby in his/her daycare before I headed back. This allowed me to be around to smooth out any bumps, get to know the teachers, figure out what logistics needed to be figured out (like a pumping schedule, for instance). Then I felt like I could turn to myself and my job and really focus. The things that killed me were sick babies (= not allowed in daycare) (although if you’re going for a nanny, substitute sick nanny for sick baby and you have a similar problem) and trying to fill that gap–it totally sucks to tell a new job that you’re trying to prove yourself in that you need to stay home with a sick baby. I’ve done it, but I hated it, even if I was glad to be able to care for the kiddo. Another one to figure out is who covers doctor’s appointments. So I’d say really nail down a backup care plan–whether it’s that your partner can take on those challenges, or you have family around, or whatever system you find works.
As for cutting my leave–depends on the position. I know it’s hard to leave a baby around 3-4 months when they are starting to emerge from their baby cocoon, but if the job was awesome and ultimately offered better work-life balance (because kids just get better with time), I’d probably go for it. If the job was just okay, probably not. I’ll caveat this by saying I was lucky to be able to take long maternity leaves and really wanted and needed that time to get it together (physically healing, getting some rest/trying to get some kind of sleeping regime going, figuring out feeding, etc.).
Good luck!
Midwest In-House says
In response to Question 1, I didn’t go to a new job straight from maternity leave, but my daughter was still pretty young when I made the switch. Will you have PTO right away with the new job? How much will you have? One of the bigger challenges I’ve had is that I didn’t have PTO for the first three months and even now, haven’t banked that much so it makes sick days really stressful.
Lyssa says
Not quite sure how to phrase this as a question, but I was thinking that this would be a great topic of discussion among intelligent and high achieving moms out there – how do you go about evaluating and planning for your kids’ early schooling?
For us, both husband and I come from lower-class backgrounds, and we just went to the county public schools in our area – I don’t think that our parents put much thought into it, and there really weren’t any practical alternatives anyway. And they were fine, but could have been better. We’ve always discussed the idea of choosing a private (possibly Catholic, even though we’re not very religious) school, but now we live in a very nice part of town that has the reputation of having the best public schools in the area, and that, combined with our financial situation (OK, but not great enough that I’d be happy to add a big tuition payment) makes public school seem much more appealing. But, to be honest, I don’t really know much about the public schools or the system as a whole, and people have a lot of strong opinions that often seem, well, less than completely well-formed. How do you go about evaluating and understanding the schools/education styles/everything else that you need to know (or what do you even need to know) about schooling options for your kid? (My first just turned 2, so I’ve got time, but I’d like to start gaining some awareness.)
anne-on says
This is a good question. Everything I’ve read about early childhood education more or less concludes that children from homes where the parents are educated and well-off will do well in nearly any school because parental involvement generally makes up for any lack in the school itself. This of course changes as you get into middle/high schools, as private schools may have more or better options for college prep, foreign languages, arts, etc.
What was not at all apparent to me until I moved to a ‘wealthy’ area was how much elite prep schools can also serve as a breeding ground for the ‘old boys network’ that apparently forms early. You hear a lot of ‘oh I knew so and so from prep school/college’ and these friendships/contacts serve the kid well into working life in the form of internship/job referrals.
NewMomAnon says
Yes, this was my experience as a child. I went to a public school for elementary and a wealthy private school for junior/high school. I am constantly amazed at the networks I can access just by saying where I went to high school. If you have limited funds for pre-college tuition, I would save them for high school. Elementary school is more about learning to be part of a community and parents can fill in the gaps of any curriculum deficiencies. (With the caveat that you should probably try to access a public school that doesn’t have extreme behavior or budget issues that would cause your child to feel unsafe at school)
Lyssa says
All that network stuff makes me itchy! I think that that makes sense – plus, if you wait until later in education, you would get a better idea of your kids’ strengths and weaknesses and how to address them.
I would like to know more about the public schools, both in our immediate area and in the system, though, just so that I know. What criteria should be looked at?
Nonny says
I am in Canada so my frame of reference is slightly different, but I’ve been thinking about similar issues for my daughter (who just turned one, so we have even more time than you!). I think what I am going to do is keep my eyes peeled for school events such as concerts, fairs, etc. that are open to the public – then we can attend and hopefully get a sense of the schools from those. Where we live, children are supposed to go to the public school in whose catchment area they live – so it isn’t like we would have a choice as to public schools anyway unless we wanted a special program such as French immersion.
PregLawyer says
I’m probably overly obsessed with this question. I am a product of private schools, but my husband went to public schools. We both ended up in roughly the same place. I don’t think we’ll be able to afford private school, although we might consider it for a portion of our kid’s education.
My thoughts on the value of private schools: if your kid is a self-starter and a high achiever, they will probably be fine in very good public schools. They may not be challenged enough, but they will likely end up fine. If your kid is smart but tends to fall more in the middle of the pack because of a variety of reasons, private school will be better for them to achieve their potential.
Except for the networking piece someone mentioned above, I think if you can afford only some private school, it’s actually more effective for younger kids than older kids. They build good skills early. Granted, I come from a state that is generally underrepresented at top East Coast schools, so top students from public high schools actually have a decent shot at getting into very competitive colleges. I don’t know how the college admissions rat race shakes out in your state.
I will probably have my kids in public school unless something crazy happens to us financially. I gather information by talking to friends or coworkers who have kids in public schools around town.
RR says
I didn’t find this to be overly complicated, but maybe it’s easier in my area. We live in an area with a lot of Catholic schools–very good, very prominent, very well-loved Catholic schools. However, we are not religious and are therefore not comfortable with Catholic schools (even though they are the default among most of my colleagues and provide a huge local network). So, when we are choosing where to live, we look at the quality of the public schools. The public school district in our suburban town is one of the best in the state.
I think Google is your friend here. There are national rankings of schools, for what they are worth. I look at class sizes, student/teacher ratios, community support (when levies are needed), test schools, high school graduation rates, college rates, course offerings, etc.
Anonymous says
Has anyone in a similar situation ended up sending their children to a Catholic/other religiously affiliated school? My husband and I are also not religious, but we live in a mid-sized town without any great public school options past elementary school (I’m slightly uncomfortable with the middle school and high school options from a safety perspective, to be honest). The only real private school choices are religiously affiliated. It will be a few years until we have to make any decisions, but I’d love to hear about the experiences of others in similar situations.
RR says
Obviously, I have not, but I know quite a few people who went to Catholic school locally despite not being religious. In fact, I’m told that even people of other religions sometimes attend Catholic schools locally (a friend had several Jewish classmates, for example). I’m told that, particularly for high school, the Catholic schools aren’t hugely religious and it isn’t a big deal to be non-religious or a different religion and attending.
Lyssa says
I grew up Catholic, and recall my friends who went to the local Catholic high school saying that the religious studies were actually studies of different kinds of religions, from a social studies type perspective. I don’t know how good it actually was, but it sounded like the sort of thing that everyone could benefit from.
If we were to consider Catholic school, it would be because they have a reputation for rigorous academics and discipline. (Though, of course, we should do more research on that, too.) I do think that husband and I (both lapsed Catholics) would have to have a serious discussion on how we are handling the religious aspects though, an issue that we’ve basically been avoiding thus far.
hoola hoopa says
We were. Essentially the neighborhood school was the Catholic school (public school was a disaster) and even though we are not religious, our oldest went there for two years until we moved. The school was fantastic, the student body was very diverse and representative of the neighborhood (race, SES, religion), and overall we loved it: the teachers, the curriculum, the administration, the families. The school has historically served as the neighborhood option and understood that a large portion of the student body was not attending for religious reasons. However, parents also had to understand that they were sending their kids to a Catholic school. The students attended mass one day a week, said grace, had a religion (Catholic, not comparative) unit in their curriculum, etc.
Neither my husband or I are religious – although not atheist – but despite loving the school overall, my husband surprised himself by being uncomfortable with the religious aspect. I grew up Catholic and left the church on good terms (my husband was raised with no religion), so I saw it as more positive or at least more comprehensible. It was challenging for both of us to balance our own beliefs with our daughter’s request to own a children’s bible and read it at bedtime. We left for practical matters (relocation), but he wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to do it. However, we looked at Catholic options in our new area, so I suppose it wasn’t such a bad experience for him.
However, what we found in our new neighborhood (where public schools are strong, so primary motivation for families to seek religious schools is the religion), the percentage of non-Catholic students was much lower and the emphasis of the school was much more on religion. Academically, there wasn’t an advantage (except for preschool, which we are considering for younger kids). It wouldn’t have worked for us spiritually, and frankly it didn’t make any sense for us to pay for an education that didn’t fit as well for our family with the public schools were a good option.
CPA Lady says
Do you know any public school teachers? They can be a really good candid resource when it comes to knowing which schools are actually good, which ones have drama with administrators, high teacher turnover, gang problems, etc. I have a friend who teaches at a local school, and she’s told me a lot about the school district. I trust her judgment more than I do some random angry parent ranting on the internet.
ANP says
Yeah, second this. I work in a private secondary school but my husband and I are making the round for our daughter, who’ll be starting kindergarten this fall. I think if you can get access to a teacher or admin who works in the school/s you’re considering, that’s a huge start. Also, talking to parents can be a great barometer as well. Keep in mind that everyone will have That One Incident With That One Teacher — the bigger issue is how it’s handed.
FWIW, I don’t love Google for this — I’ve seen disgruntled parents post crummy stuff about schools (not just my own!) online too many times, while the perfectly-content 95% of the rest of the population isn’t motivated to post how great the school is in reply. The grapevine is going to be your best bet on this. I would also consider teacher and administrator turnover to gauge what kind of working environment (and, therefore, teaching/learning environment) you’re looking at.
Finally, some advice that I would do well to heed: there is no perfect school or situation, and even the ritziest of private institutions has its/their downfalls (lack of diversity, fewer programs b/c of expense, etc.). I know this feels like a HUGE decision now but your kiddo will be OK wherever s/he ends up — parenting is a huge part of success in education! — AND, (this is most important) if wherever you choose turns out to be a bad fit, you can always move your child after a couple of years. Good luck!
Pogo says
We chose where to buy our home based on public schools. But DH and I are products of good public schools, so it was our thought all along we’d buy in a town with good schools and send our kids there.
This might have been a weird way to do it, but I talked to college classmates and friends about where they went to high school – many of them come from really good public schools in the Boston area, where I wanted to buy. I wasn’t overly rigorous; I had a sorority sister who had grown up in one of the towns we were looking at. I asked her about the demographics and where the top kids went to college, how good the sports teams were, how many people took AP exams, etc. She was over the moon positive about the town, and we love it too, so that was that.
Also in the Boston area, home prices and taxes are a decent proxy for schools (obviously, not perfect). We were essentially priced out of the top districts – Concord-Carlisle, Wayland-Weston, Lexington, Winchester etc – because you can’t really get anything for under $1M. If I had millions to spend I definitely would have moved to one of those districts!
hoola hoopa says
This is such a huge question. A great question, but a huge question. My husband I also grew up lower-middle class – in a small town with not really any options except public – and it was downright trippy to be considering all these different options.
Remember that it’s not so much a question of private vs public, but this school vs that school. Private schools are not interchangeable. Neither are public.
Ask around. Talk to parents with kids at the school and parents whose kids are no longer at the school. IME, parents are generally happy to discuss and will be truthful to their experience. I had a prospective parent ask me questions at the bus stop once and it didn’t faze me at all.
Similarly, where do the parents similar to you (or families with which you want your family to interact) send their kids? I kind of hate saying that, but thinking about that flow made the difference for us. In one neighborhood, that meant a particular private school. In another neighborhood, that meant neighborhood public school.
Consider all grades, too. Don’t look just at kindergarten. A wealthy, well-rated elementary school may be stellar but eventually feeds into a high school with a known drug issue. A private elementary school that’s comparable to your public school may offer priority to admittance to a private high school that you know you want.
Add up the cost. Sounds basic, but I’ve known parents who actually didn’t do it until ~1st or 2nd grade of private school. Number of children you have or plan to have plays into this. How you spend your money is your business, but at least know what you’re going to spend. Similarly, shop around. Private school costs vary quite a bit, IME. Ask about tuition and fundraising contribution expectations.
Think about your child. Will they succeed anywhere? Do they need special attention that can be better provided by this school or that school? Do they need special accommodations that a public school is better able to offer?
Think about yourself. What do you want your child’s education to be like? For us, we wanted a racially and SES diverse environment with a track system (multiple levels according to child’s abilities) and consistently good (but not necessarily the best) success and a mellow parent atmosphere, for free. For friends, they wanted a religious education with small classes, a firm structure, and minimal changes. Another family wanted hands-on, student-lead learning. Another wanted the best education money could buy while avoiding “legacy” students and uniforms in middle school. Another looked for public schools with very high graduation and college attendance rates.
mascot says
I think one of the common assumptions about private schools is that there isn’t SES diversity. While there are plenty of kids that come from middle to upper class money, there are also a fair number on some form of financial assistance in my experience (both as a student and a parent). So it may be a bit more diverse than it seems on that front.
Katarina says
I always wanted to send my children to good public schools based on my experiences. In choosing schools, I tended to look at the high schools, even though this is far off, because I think this is where there is the biggest difference between schools. Houses in what is clearly the best school district in this metro area are too expensive, so I eliminated it. I tended to focus on achievement on the high end (SAT scores, AP scores, number of students taking AP exams, number of students attending college) rather than the low end (number of students with minimum competency. I also talked to some co-workers to see where they send there children. I also considered the caliber of elementary schools based on minimum competency exams. I bought a house in an area with a higher rated elementary school and a high school which has a high level of high achieving students, but does have a lower percent of students passing competency exams than some other high schools. I also considered my commute in home location.
Annie says
Just to add another perspective: I went to private pre-school/kindergarten (“early learning center”), then private secular school (“Day School”) from 1st-3rd grade, then public school from 4th-12th grade. The public schools in my town were good.
I noticed senior year that almost every single student that had started with me at the early learning center was in AP classes and headed to highly-ranked colleges. That was probably partly due to the parents, but also I think due to the fact that we all knew how to read by the time we finished kindergarten. That little school taught phonics and had us reading at 3rd or 4th grade level by the time we got out. I think early childhood education makes a huge difference.
It really depends on what’s available in your area, too. Try visiting the local elementary schools, public and private, and seeing what you think.
ANP says
Gang, where can I go for more dressy, work-appropriate maternity wear? My pregnancy wardrobe skews pretty casual and I need a few upgraded pieces. Complications: this is for sure, come h3ll or high water, my last baby, so I’ve been loathe to spend a lot/any money on maternity pieces — but the friend who loaned me a bunch of stuff is a SAHM, so obviously tons of jeans/casual tops but not as much work-appropriate gear. I live in the Midwest, so it’s cold now but but I’m not due until summer so I’ve got about 6 months to go.
I work in a business-casual environment but in a highly-visible leadership role, so I need to dress up more. I’m a big scarf/jewelry wearer, so simple stuff I can dress up with accessories is great. Just feeling completely uninspired at the moment! (FWIW, I may buy the dress featured today.)
NewMomAnon says
I had some dresses from Target that I wore with different accessories every single week of my leave to work. Also, is there a maternity consignment store in your area? You can get some nicer pieces for not too much money. I also have friends who put out e-mails at work to women who had recently had babies, and picked up some nice maternity pieces on loan that way.
Lyssa says
It’s not high end, but I felt pretty good as a litigation attorney in my nicer stuff from Target and Motherhood Maternity. I particularly liked MM, because I could evaluate and try on in-store (not an option with so much maternity-wear now!). I found them to run really great sales on dresses – there was always a rack of pretty nice ones in the $30 range, and I think that those with a suit-jacket (I wore my non-maternity ones open throughout) are sufficient for almost any professional requirement. My MM maternity pencil skirt with a Target maternity Tee and jacket got a lot of good wear, too, as did a black wrap dress from the Gap.
I’m due in June, and only just starting to dig into the maternity professional wear, but I’m pretty sure that I’ll be reusing all of those pretty well (probably my last, so I’m trying not to buy anything else new.)
Katarina says
I wore a lot of Motherhood Maternity stuff, it was by far the cheapest place to find work appropriate work clothes, they have great sales, and there stuff fit me well. I had a few items from Pea in the Pod, which were a step up. Pea in the Pod also has great sales, but has higher starting prices, and I found there stuff ran much smaller. I was due in August, and wore a lot of dresses, which was easier and more comfortable for me. I used my pre-pregnancy sweaters and blazers until it was warm enough I did not need them, and only bought summer clothes.
POSITA says
I got a couple of suiting quality skirts (black and gray) from Ingrid and Isabel and they were great with non maternity blazers. Real workhorses and versatile with different shirts, scarves and necklaces.
POSITA says
Just looked and sadly they no longer sell them. It’s really too bad since it’s so hard to find quality professional maternity wear. These skirts looked just like my normal suit skirts, except they had a full belly panel.
Nonny says
I had a really good experience with my Isabella Oliver maternity wear (I had a couple of dresses that I wore to the office at least once a week, each). Granted, they were pricey but if you can find any secondhand on Craigslist, that could be an option. But surprisingly, I also had a really great jersey dress that I found at Topshop (I believe it cost me something like $24), that I wore with a secondhand maternity blazer that was originally from Pea in the Pod. I got more compliments on that Topshop dress than anything else I wore during my pregnancy.
Finally, I had one jersey pencil skirt from ASOS Maternity that I was able to pair with a variety of tops. Also pretty cheap but it looked great for work.
I think the ultimate answer is that you only really need a few good pieces – a pencil skirt, one or two dresses, a maternity blazer – and that will help you transform what you already own.
Philanthropy Girl says
I loved hitting up consignment shops. I found that Clothes Mentors in select neighborhoods had a delightful range of high quality, often professional, looking items. Particularly if you don’t want to spend a lot of money, I found like-new (or brand new) items that were perfect for what I needed. You probably won’t find suits or business formal, but dressy business casual was an easy find for me. Often easier than visiting our small town mall!
D says
I have been searching the past few months for workwear that is appropriate for court. I ordered skirts from Nordstrom, ASOS, Gap, Old Navy, Pea in the Pod, and Japanese Weekend. I returned all but the skirt from Japanese Weekend. I have had good luck with Ann Taylor Loft, but they do not sell skirts or blazers. I recently purchased several items from Seraphine. They are my favorite pieces so far. The only caution is that I found I had to size down for most of their clothes.
NewMomAnon says
Ok, so update on sleep training after the weekend:
We had two nights of only one wakeup each (yay!) so I decided to try nap training. The first one, she went down within 25 minutes. The second one….not at all (I let her go 35 minutes), and got herself so hysterical she threw up. I climbed into her crib with her, nursed, and she fell asleep (hiccuping the whole time, sad). Soooo…that wasn’t great. Then Dad skipped the afternoon nap (and snack…grrr) while he had her. Last night she woke up several times; I reassured her and she fell back asleep each time. Today we start nap training at daycare….I’m worried about that.
I think what I have learned is that:
1. I need to cut the 3 am feeding and just stay really consistent with letting her put herself back to sleep without eating; she is almost 12 months old, eats solid food (sooo much solid food) and needs to be tapering on milk anyway.
2. I also let her take a nap with me on Saturday, and I think I need to either get on the nap training whole-heartedly or not do it at all. We’ll see how it goes at daycare this week. It may be that crying through naps is counterproductive to night time sleeping, in which case I’ll drop the nap training.
3. She is also popping a tooth and started saying some words this weekend, so consistency will be key since we may have some sleep disruptions for a few days.
mascot says
IME with a daycare center, they have a lot of experience getting kids to sleep and getting kids on a routine so nap-training may go better than planned. Around age one, my center dropped the morning nap and just did an afternoon nap. It was easier to keep him on their sleep/eat schedule since he spent 5 days there. He also is really good about sleeping in rooms that aren’t perfectly quiet and aren’t totally dark. I credit daycare naps with that skill.
RR says
To me, daycare nap training and home nap training are two different things.
Also, my kiddos have all been young to transition to one nap a day (in part because they do well at night sleep I think). As you get night sleep under control, it could be that your kiddo is a one nap a day girl. For us, that one nap a day on the weekends tends to be 3 hours on average (at 16 months). It manifested in the second nap being a nightmare. Again, I really recommend the Weissbluth book. Remember too that sleep begets sleep. The better she does at night, the better she will do at naps, IME.
For nap training, the CIO rule of thumb is usually to give them an hour and go get them if they don’t fall asleep. Sometimes, that means they play in their crib for an hour. Worst case, they cry. Obviously, when they throw up, all bets are off.
I think you are doing great! Sleep is not easy, but soooo important for both of you. Good job mama!
FVNC says
Third-ing the comments that nap training at daycare may go better than anticipated. My 15 mo old naps really well at daycare (usually 2+ hours in the early afternoon), but I still find it challenging to put her down for naps at home. At daycare, she falls asleep on her mat by herself – no rocking, singing, begging (joking – sort of) required. Not so much at home.
I just wanted to say I admire your patient, deliberate approach to both night and nap sleep training – you’re doing a great thing for both yourself and your little one. I never really did any sort of formal sleep training (loosely followed No Cry Sleep Solution) and got lucky with a decent night sleeper but pretty mediocre napper.
T. McGill says
The other day we were talking about “mom judgment,” but are there things you judge yourself on and find you come up short (meaning, are there things you do that you are not proud of)? Generally my mantra is “you do you, I do me,” but over the weekend my husband and I had this incident with our toddler at nap time, and I kind of fell apart. My toddler is what we call “not a good sleeper.” Because of our schedules, my husband is the one who regularly handles bedtime. He never had the stomach for sleep training (hated hearing our baby cry, would totally cave), and I never had the energy to fight him on it, so now we have a toddler who is incapable of putting herself to sleep. No matter how tired she is, with us, she will only nap in a moving car. At night, to get her to go to sleep, we let her watch TV in her bed (shows on netflix or amazon prime) until she falls asleep. Yes, we got a TV for her room (again, smart TV so all she watches is netflix or amazon prime).
She is a great kid — intelligent, curious, kind, friendly and talkative, and she has a healthy appetite — but all I can think is how I am screwing her up for life because there is a TV in her room and that is how she falls asleep. Not sure what I am looking for exactly, other than commiseration that this is not a massive fail in the grand scheme of things. And that every mom has their secret shame I guess.
RR says
You know better. Your intelligent, curious, kind, friendly, and talkative little girl is not going to be a delinquent because she watched TV while falling asleep. That’s crazy. My kids don’t watch TV to fall asleep (although I am by no means anti-screen time), and I wish I could get more consistent kindness out of them most days.
I’m a big believer in picking your battles. We have this mentality that perfection is required in parenting and that any failure to adhere to the “perfect” guidelines means our children are doomed for failure. If you don’t breastfeed, if you let your children co-sleep or have screen time, if you allow your kids to eat refined sugar or McDonalds, you have failed. You may as well give up and start over with another one to see if you do better. It’s not all or nothing. It’s the sum of millions of tiny little parts, 99% of which you are doing great at. And even if you were perfect, your kids aren’t going to be. They are little individuals who will also screw things up.
My life philosophy is “Do the best you can every day and try not to feel bad about it.” I’m confident that the best I can do gets a little better over the years, and everything is going to work out fine. But yes, I have secret shames. My kids do not eat anywhere close to enough vegetables (and neither do I). I don’t listen to them enough. I don’t encourage activity enough. I’m overly critical. My house is a mess. Do I need to go on? See above–“try not to feel bad about it.”
Burgher says
My 2 1/2 year old was an amazing sleeper from 14 months up until he figured out how to crawl out of his crib. He’d go down immediately and sleep all night. Now he will go to sleep in his own bed, but only after everything is exactly right and Daddy lays with him until he falls asleep. He wakes up at some point every single night and instead of fighting it, we let him sleep with us. I know we should be firm and insist he stays in his own room, but we’re just way too tired to care. We’ll see what happens when the new baby comes any day now.
Midwest Mom says
I could have written your post word for word, except I’m the one who handled bedtime and by the time I wanted to sleep train (around 2), DH was opposed and thought she was too old. Anyway, she’s now 3 and has a TV in her room, which we turn to Disney Jr. at night in the hopes it will keep her in her bed until she falls asleep. She is also a kid that we call “not a good sleeper.” I feel the same guilt you do, so you’re not alone. I’m fairly confident, however, that we are not ruining them for life.
T. McGill says
Thanks all. Reassuring to know I am not alone.
Annie says
FWIW, I’m an adult and find it hard to fall asleep without the tv on. They say it’s bad for sleep, but for me, it clears out all my thoughts and lets me relax. I put it on a sleep timer so it goes off in like 30 minutes. I’m usually out in 5-10 minutes.
POSITA says
Nanny called in sick today with a 103 degree fever so my husband is home with the baby. We’re guessing the nanny has the flu so I think we’re going to try my firm’s backup care at a local center tomorrow (and until the nanny is better).
My daughter 16 months old and has never been in a daycare setting before. She’s been in a nannyshare since 4 months and has never had an unknown sitter (only nanny and grandparents). Any suggestions for how to make this go smoothly? She has some signs and good receptive language, but no words yet.
Shayla says
If you’re worried about you, take some deep breaths and be logical. Daughter will be ok! Be sure to pack everything you think she might need, and that will give you piece of mind, even if she doesn’t need it (2 baby dolls, fine!). The other thing that will make you feel better is to communicate with teacher in the room when you drop off, what she likes, doesn’t like, what she needs, what you’ve packed. You can even write it in a note, all this information is good for them too. Especially if they know she knows some sign language!
If you’re worried about her, let her know it’s exciting and new, almost like a field trip. She might understand the concept of leaving a picture of the family with her in a bag, so she can see her family while she’s in a new environment. My 2 year old loves this. If she gets sad when you leave with the nanny, she’s bound to be just as upset if not more in with day care because it is new. Just know they bounce back and are usually ok in a matter of minutes. It helps to get her engaged with a toy, give a hug and a kiss and leave. Don’t keep going back to her, her teachers and her will be MUCH better off if you just go (it can be heartbreaking though!). Call in an hour and check in on her if you’re still worried.
Hope that helps! I’m jealous your firm has back-up day care!
POSITA says
Thanks so much! I think she’ll be okay as soon as she sees the toys.
Does anyone have a suggestion about what to bring? For instance, do I need to bring several sippys with milk or can I just bring a container and have them refill? Do I need to pack snacks and lunch? Can they microwave food or does it have to be eaten cold? Do I need to pack her fork and plate? Does she need a nap roll and blanket or will they have her nap in a crib? Will she eat breakfast there or should I feed her before we leave? What about wipes? What’s in your daycare bag?
I have no idea how daycare works….
Anonyc says
Sounds like you might need to ask the daycare–by 16 months the kids might be sleeping on cots and IME they provide the milk (you provide the cups). My short list of items to bring:
-Lunch and snacks (a.m. and p.m. snacks) (and make sure it’s nut-free; most daycares seems to be nut-free environments, so soybutter rather than peanut butter, etc.); include flatwear and a bottle of water, plus an empty sippy (so they can fill with milk)
-crib sheet
-diapers and wipes for a day, plus any creams you use
-extra set of clothes
-if your LO needs a blankie or special object, maybe that; most daycares will not allow that for regular kids but for a drop-in might make an exception
RR says
Agree with asking daycare. Mine supplies crib sheets, wipes, lunch, snacks, milk, cups, etc. I bring diapers, diaper cream, paci, blanket (my daycare allows). At 16 months, they are transitioning to a cot in preparation for moving rooms at 18 months, so I’m not sure how that works at a drop in type place.
For how to make it easy on your child, think about what her currency is. My kiddo loves food and milk, so if we can get a new caregiver to give her a sippy of milk, she’s good. It’s like, “Oh, you have food here. We will be fine.” If it’s toys, then go that route. She will be totally fine, even if she’s a little fussy at drop off.
hoola hoopa says
Ask! It varies dramatically from center to center – and IME the parent handbook is often incorrect or out-of-date.
At 16 mo, the kids are probably sleeping on mats or cots and doing one nap per day. (Don’t worry if she’s in a crib at home – she’ll do fine). IME, you’ll provide diapers and maybe wipes but daycare will provide bedding and food at that age, but you can send your own if she has a special blanket etc – but that’s SO variable that you really must ask. If you are comparing centers at this point, think about whether you want to pack lunches/snack every day, want to be in control of what they are eating, and how you’d compare the tuition costs.
As with any transition, mentally prepare for a month of adjustment for everyone. However, IME, she’s entering at the time that daycare starts to be fun for kids because they are more social and creatively active beings, so hopefully she’ll just love it right away.
POSITA says
Thanks all. I’ll call the center once we know we’ll be using it tomorrow. Just waiting to hear from the nanny to see how she’s doing. We don’t know which center it will be yet, but it should be a Bright Horizons’ in DC.
noob says
I don’t know if this is universal for Bright Horizons, my infant goes to a BH in NoVa, but from what I remember from the tour, they supply bedding and food (snacks and lunch). We have to bring in diapers, wipes and diaper cream (which requires a form, but that may be a Va rule).
ANP says
Bright Horizons mom here. Our center is great, so hopefully you have the same experience! Ours supplies breakfast, lunch and an afternoon snack, along with all bedding and toys. You should be prepared to bring a change (or two) of clothes (in case of blowouts), diapers and wipes, any creams they have to use (some require a doc’s note — not regular diaper cream, but pretty much anything else) along with a blankie and/or lovey and pacifier.
Meg Murry says
I know its not a cheap option, but if you don’t wind up using the backup care tomorrow – could you consider doing a planned day at the backup center? Maybe a day your nanny could use as a personal day, and you could try out the center to see how it goes. That way, if you wind up having to use it in future, you’ll at least have more confidence in how it goes and what you need.
ETA- If they transition rooms at 18 months though, you may want to wait until after 18 months since you’re already so close – the rules and supplies provided may change slightly with the next age up.
Claire M says
It definitely varies by center, even in DC. Our regular center provides 2 meals plus snacks, and crib sheet. The one she goes to for backup care doesn’t provide any of this. Be sure you have the DC health forms filled out! Good luck!
PregLawyer says
Kat – I really like this dress. Nice post.
anon says
I tried to buy this dress yesterday! Despite appearing to be in stock, it informed me after I checked out with the rest of my order that it was not in stock. Boo!
PregAnon says
Hive, I am at work and so, so tired. 7 weeks. I want to curl up and go to sleep. No morning sickness, but I’m definitely kind of nauseous. I’ve just been sipping tea and water. 2 more hours before I can leave. So….tired……
Annie says
As my mom has been saying, when you’re tired and pregnant, you have to let yourself rest. You’re growing a person!
I’m 17 weeks.
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