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My daughter was and is delighted by shoes that light up — bonus if they sparkle.
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My daughter’s old sneakers gave her blisters, so we recently switched to a similar pair from Stride Rite, and so far, no complaints.
Stride Rite’s light-up glimmer sneaker is $57 for kid sizes and $55 for toddlers. They’re also available at Zappos (both toddler and kids), but lucky sizes only.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
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- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
twin gender curveball says
PSA: We were told that recent advances in the NIPT meant that Myriad could tell us to a near certainty that my twins were both boys. (I know a year or two ago, the line was that it could identify whether there was at least one boy, but not whether there were two; our results said clearly BOTH BOYS!) Welp, as of yesterday’s anatomy scan, one twin boy is actually a twin girl. Of course this is two weeks after I gave away our baby girl clothes.
Also, eeek! This feels like another surprise in what has been a series of surprises. Any words of wisdom about… any of this — babies, twins, twin babies with a toddler (DD will be almost two when the next two get here) — would be much appreciated!
GCA says
Oof, that’s a lot of surprises! I can’t speak to surprise babies, twins, or three under 2, but I think that is just how parenting is. Kids are going to turn out the way they turn out, not necessarily per parents’ expectations. But you love them anyway. At the same time, your feelings are valid – it is ok to be surprised, to be startled, to be sad that things aren’t turning out the way you expected. And acknowledging that is all part of constantly recalibrating your relationships with your kids as they, and you, grow. (The clothing is the least of it though. You have time, newborns don’t care what they wear!)
Boston Legal Eagle says
^ what GCA says about accepting that kids are who they are and this not usually lining up with expectations is spot on but on a practical matter, line up all of the support that you can! Spend all the money to get a night nurse, a helper for when you’re on leave and grandparents to drive/fly in (or move to your town!). 3 under 2, including twins, is a lot and you need all the support you can get. They can wear PJs all day everyday, but you will need extra hands.
Anon says
Streamline what you can. Cut out entire categories of things (breastfeeding and housecleaning were mine). My twins always had formula (I pumped but only for a bit) and it really freed up my time to spend with the twins and toddler. My house was messy, always. Keep the twins on the same schedule – really really try to make this happen. Put as much energy as you can into strong sleep skills – we used Cara but there are better people out there that do the same thing. SHIFT SLEEP with your partner – make sure you each get at least 4 uninterruped hours of sleep per night, every night.
Overall, there’s less room to go with the flow. There’s just too much happening, make a system and adjust as needed. You need to be able to function on autopilot because it’s zombie town for the first 4-6 months.
Buy the PBS Kids subscription and let toddler watch a lot of Daniel Tiger. Buy the Big Little Feelings course to help give the support the toddler needs (and improve toddler behavior, which will improve your life). Buy the Joovy Qool stroller, and use the Libby library app because books help. Buy 16 bottles so you only need to wash them in the dishwasher 1/x day, label them for each kid so you don’t get bottles mixed up mid-feed, and buy the Dr. Brown’s formula pitcher.
Say YES to help. Oh, you want to help me? No midwestern ‘no thanks.’ If someone offers tell them what to do. Have a default answer too – like, oh, yes, we really need some fruit and dinner, can you drop it tomorrow?
Mommasgottasleep says
I have a four year old and six month old fraternal twin boys. +1 to all this advice, seriously. And hire a night nanny if at all possible. You can do it! Twins are so different and so rewarding. I can say that now: the first four months were HARD. Go easy on yourself and your partner. My life is bananas and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
govtattymom says
I recently had a baby and if I had been able to get 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night it would have been a game changer. I don’t think I ever got 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep those first two months. And I was miserable because I couldn’t exactly nap during the day when I also had a 4 year old to watch! I love your advice of doing whatever is necessary to make those 4 uninterrupted hours happen!
Anon says
i have twins, two fraternal girls. fortunately did not have another already. honestly, i think you have permission to ask for all the baby girl clothes back. hire all the help you can afford. call in all family. a night nurse is totally worth it. let go of all standards. frozen meals, pb&j, eggs and takeout are all great meals for the first year! accept all the (masked) help offered. keep twins on same schedule as much as possible. if you weren’t a schedule person for the first one, you kind of have to be with twins if you ever want to sleep. realize one or maybe both could spend some time in the nicu.
anon says
As someone who received a lot of newborn/baby hand-me downs recently, I would not be offended at ALL if someone asked for them back within 2 weeks of receiving them. In fact, I would probably be very very happy to return them, especially if you just found out you’re having twins! I often find only a handful of clothes I actually want to keep.
Coach Laura says
The shift-sleep comment is so important, unless you are getting a full night-nurse where the nurse won’t wake you up at all (and will take care of the toddler too if she wakes, which is unlikely). One of you should sleep from 9-2 and the other should sleep from 2-7. Or if both have to be up earlier for work adjust the times on an equitable basis. Put a bed in the twin’s room for the “on” parent to sleep if needed, or they can sleep on the living room sofa if not awake dealing with babies. If it’s parent A’s night on, they can go to sleep after 2am but before that they can nap. Parent B goes to sleep at 9pm and can sleep after 2am if not awoken by the other parent. Alternate or assign sleeping times to those with natural night owl or early riser tendencies. Or if one has to be at work early versus later. Wear eye-masks and earplugs if needed.
Expensive accidents says
What do you do when your kid breaks something expensive by accident (but an accident that could have been prevented if they were behaving)? My preschooler “tossed” my phone at me (yelling “CATCH!”) but I was 1) not prepared (holding the baby) and 2) his aim was completely off – and he hit the flatscreen TV. He has of course been told many times we don’t throw things in the house. And we don’t throw phones. And we definitely don’t throw phones AT THE TV.
Quick google searches and calls to the manufacturer leads us to believe the thing is totalled (you can replace the screen, but this costs almost as much as a new TV). Amazing, homeowner’s covers it so we’re only out the $1000 deductible.
The natural consequence would be, you can’t watch TV (which… you can’t. the thing doesn’t even turn on) but he prefers his iPad. So we took the iPad away. But like, for how long? And is that the right call? We want him to understand how serious it is (he apologized immediately but suggested we “use the other TV” or “try to tape it”). I also feel very privileged that, while annoying, $1000 is in the end not that big of a deal but I can imagine that many families wouldn’t be able to replace something of that value. So part of me wants him to understand that, but maybe that’s too much to ask of a preschooler.
Anon says
Having him understand that is definitely too much for a preschooler IMO. I think the only lesson he can learn here is accidents happen and I can count on mom and dad to not completely freak out when they do. Then when he’s a teenager he’ll actually tell you about the minor car accident. Learning empathy related money lessons will come later.
Anonymous says
+1 – I think there’s not much you should do here. He was acting his age and unfortunately in this case it had an expensive consequence, which is of course why you have these rules, but he didn’t do anything really crazy. You want him not to throw things inside and not throw phones, not to only throw things inside when something expensive won’t get broken, because he’s a preschooler and can’t predict the latter with any accuracy. You were probably so upset that any message about seriousness that could be conveyed has already been conveyed, so I would just move on.
NYCer says
+2. Also, FWIW, unless you’re getting a huge tv, there are tons of flat screens on the market for way less than. $1,000.0
Anon says
This was my reaction too, curious what type of TV we’re talking about that makes a$1,000 deductible worth it. We just bought our most expensive TV ever on prime day for like $1300 at that point it’s not worth going through insurance and the potential premium increase.
OP says
Thanks. I was mostly shocked and serious, there was no yelling or any punishment in the moment. DH is more upset and wants to keep the iPad away until the TV is fixed, which seems too harsh for me (who knows how long it’ll take us, and that’s not LO’s fault that we’re busy). I also pointed out how he could have hit me or the baby, and that would have been even worse than the TV. So he seemed to get it.
Anonymous says
What even is this? Go to Best Buy and get a new TV this weekend. Tell your husband to stop behaving like a toddler.
Anonymous says
+3. My husband and I joked recently that no one talks about the cost of broken/destroyed stuff when talking about how expensive kids are. “Normal wear and tear” goes out the window with young kids in the house.
My kids are old enough that we try to talk about how expensive things are relative to other things to get through to them… A preschooler probably won’t get even that, though, so I’d just let it go.
Anon says
If it makes you feel better I never know what do to in these situations either. My son threw my phone and broke it a few months ago. I basically just explained it was very expensive to replace, and that needing to spend money on my phone meant that I couldn’t buy him new legos for a while (this was not technically true, but I thought woudl help him understand the consequence in a way that made sense). I’ve mentioned it a few times when he’s thrown expensive things since, just like a “remember what happened to my phone when you were too rough?” and I’d say half the time that gets him to stop, suggesting my speech had SOME impact. I feel like harsh punishments for accidents are too much (not that taking the ipad away for a day or two is harsh – but I woulnd’t worry about a big consequence).
Anon says
As someone who had to replace a tankless hot water heater ($6k, also covered by insurance) when a preschooler ‘filled up the gas tank’ by putting a hose in the air intake…
Yeah. Expensive accidents happen. Natural consequences and lessons learned. For me, it’s the price of doing business as a toddler parent.
(The guy who came to fix it told me his kid put rocks and chalk into a gas tank of a vehicle…
OP says
OK, that puts it in perspective!! This also sounds like something my creative kid would do.
Anonymous says
With a 2-year-old, I think you have to treat phone-throwing the same way whether it causes $0 or $1000 of damages. I do agree with the suggestion below to repeatedly use the broken TV as an example of what can happen when we throw things.
OP says
He’s 4, guess I should have clarified. He is definitely old enough to be able to understand he can’t throw things.
Anonymous says
If you really want to make a point, you could take a loooong time to replace the TV.
Anonymous says
Even a 2-year-old should understand he can’t throw things. Whatever the age, I just think it’s kind of odd that you and your husband seem to be focusing on punishing the result (expensive item destroyed) instead of the dangerous behavior. Every time he throws a phone he risks hurting someone and should be corrected. The behavior itself isn’t any more dangerous the one time he hits the TV.
Insurance Company Person Here says
And I would NOT file on your homeowners unless it was a crazy expensive TV. You will be dinged later on and you only get a certain number of claims before you will be dropped or charged a much higher rate. And your claims follow you to other carriers if you decide you want to switch carriers because they nonrenew you or raise your premiums.
Nanny Job Search Help! says
Can I have your best questions to ask a nanny during an interview? Our Mary Poppins of a nanny resigned unexpectedly, giving us just shy of two weeks (done 8/31). I have all the feelers out and will be talking to two candidates this afternoon. We got current nanny from our daycare so there was no interview, per se, making this uncharted territory for me.
Separately, my care.com post only got one reply after two days. I feel like that’s light? Any tips or tricks on that front?
This is the worst. I’m absolutely panicking. I’m in the greater Boston area (northern Burb / Melrose – Reading corridor) in case anyone has some location specific advice. TIA.
Anonymous says
Look at Park Slope Parents nanny hiring guide – it should give you lots of tips.
Anon says
How old is your child?
OP says
3
govtattymom says
I would ask questions that gauge how much experience the nanny has with children in your child’s stage (infant, preschooler, school age). Our nanny is phenomenal with our four year old and adequate with our baby. I wish I had asked more questions about her specific experience with infants. Good luck; I hope you find another Mary Poppins!
Anonymous says
Our experience has been that nannies don’t like care.com. They have to pay for membership and background checks, but typically it doesn’t lead to good jobs. I would post on FB, next door, and indeed.
ifiknew says
I need some advice of older parents here. Our son is 2 (26 months). He has a level of physical rambunctiousness that’s very exhausting i.e. climbing out of his crib for 2 hours in the middle of the night last night, pulling all the couch cushions off to use as a trampoline, just being a little energetic, adorable but exhausting tornado. Also, he doesn’t seem to care to please / want to follow the rules / show empathy for hurting us physically (we also have a 4 year old daughter and she was not this way at age 2, but of course kids are different). He cries in timeout, but then just does whatever he was doing again i.e. touching the tv, bothering his sister, throwing food. I have to carry him a lot to the car and into stores etc because he just tries to break-away from me. I do all the BLF type strategies and it’s worked great for my daughter, but he just doesn’t have that intense emotional outbursts (yet), it’s more the physical energy. It feels like we’re still stuck at how I remember 18 months being with my daughter. Is this just age 2 for some kids or is there any larger issue here?
Anon says
i am not claiming to be a parenting expert by any means, but i’m not sure if time outs are really effective? i think it is just a lot of natural consequences, ad nauseam, and it is so so freaking exhausting as a parent. one of my three year old twins has really been giving me a run for my money the last 10 days and i am trying sooo hard to stay patient, but i’m running out of patience. throws food, food gets taken away. doesn’t hold hands/walk safely – has to be held/go in stroller. is this more work for you – yes, totally and this is the part of parenting no one told me would be quite so challenging/exhausting. sounds like he needs a lot of physical outlets – if you don’t want him to use couch cushions as a trampoline – he needs something else to be directed to, a nugget, a little trampoline, a bean bag chair, whatever. lots of commiseration of how hard/exhausting this is
OP says
Thank you, I don’t know what works. this is probably just as simple as slog through until he becomes more of a reasonable human, ha, but who knows when that will happen. Commiseration is helpful at a minimum, we dont have many friends with kids this age.
Spirograph says
This is just 2 for some kids. All kids are different. Boys (VERY generally speaking) often have much more physical rambunctious energy than girls at that age. All of this sounds very normal, but that doesn’t make it easy to deal with. Some phases you just need to white-knuckle through. Give constructive outlets for physical energy, and be consistent with expectations. He’ll probably get more manageable as he grows up.
Anonymous says
I have a nephew who has always been like this, currently aged 3.5. Some kids just have more energy than others. In addition to constantly being in motion and testing limits, he also throws a tantrum whenever he doesn’t get his way, like the time he threw himself down in the middle of the street because I wouldn’t let him hold the dog’s leash by himself. The dog weighs 75 lbs and is about the same height as he is. Of course he’s not my kid so I don’t have to live with it day in and day out, but when I babysit I have the most success when I allow him lots of physical activity early in the day, let him spend a lot of time in fenced outdoor areas where he can run free without my having to constantly tell him “no,” and to the extent possible avoid putting him in situations like walking the dog that I have learned will inevitably lead to a power struggle. I much prefer babysitting him in my childproofed, low-clutter house rather than in his own home, where I literally have to be within arm’s reach and giving him my undivided attention at every moment because there are so many more potential dangers.
Come to think of it, I manage him pretty much how I would manage an energetic dog–tire them out, limit opportunities for dangerous and destructive behavior, and generally set them up for success and positive interactions.
Anonymous says
Have you tried wearing him in stores instead of carrying him? It might be easier and would leave your hands free.
Anon says
My daughter was and is like this (just turned 4). As an example, this morning she was running sprints down the hallway while I was brushing my teeth and decided that WWE-style body slam “hugs” would be an excellent way to greet the day. Age will help, but 2 is tough. Keys to harmony (or survival): lots of physical outlets (whether outside time, play wrestling, foam sword fighting, obstacle course running and jumping, etc.). We put DD in part-time church preschool at 2 so she could get more energy out. For a while we were doing 2 mile walks a day (of course without a stroller because why ride when you could run?). Then pick your battles. If it is unlikely to cause serious injury (head injury, stitches, or high probability of a broken bone), we let it go.
For discipline, we have had a lot of luck with 3,2,1 time out, but time outs have been very effective with her, even from the age of about 18 months, as long as they were consistent and long enough (by 2 we were doing a full 5 minutes even though that is longer than recommended, and we end the time out with a (now calm) discussion of what was wrong (mommy told you no climbing the fireplace mantle, you did not listen, next time mommy says stop you stop)). We also do some natural consequences (e.g., if throwing food, we are done eating and take the food away, for plate throwing we took the plate away and would put one piece of food at a time on the tray). For a while it would be multiple time outs a day (originally in the PNP, then (and now) on the stairs), but now it’s maybe only 2 a week. I think empathy is a bit of a reach for 2 (really it was around 3.5 where DD started being apologetic or upset that she had hurt us while roughhousing), but that doesn’t mean the behavior needs to be tolerated.
Anon says
This sounds like my kid. Time outs do not work for us. She won’t stay there and gets more rage filled. What has worked is making sure she gets enough exercise, using the prep stuff and distraction techniques see eg big little feelings and making sure she is allowed some agency and choices whenever possible. At 3.5 we seemed to have turned a corner with far fewer tantrums and better listening skills. She is still a lot – has a lot of energy compared to much calmer cousins same age – but she is a lot easier to be around.
TheElms says
I have a 27 month old girl and your son sounds just like her. She will sit still if we are reading her a book (her favorite), but otherwise she has one speed: tornado. She climbs all over the couch, basically destroys the family room if left unattended for 5 minutes (flips the coffee table to make it a boat, uses the cushions to try to build forts). She has gotten very good at relocating her learning tower or a kitchen chair to reach anything she wants. She runs from activity to activity (so build duplos for 5 minutes, color for 5 minutes, ride scooter 5 minutes, etc.) In the downstairs playroom she basically just runs laps and jumps from piles of cushions to piles of cushions for as long as we let her. Its just a hard age I think in terms of the level of physicality combined with their size (my kid is tall and heavy). Some kids are just very high energy and we happen to have gotten those kids. Hang in there!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yeah, I think it’s just going to take time and him growing up unfortunately. My first was a bit like this – high energy, always running, big tantrums, time outs didn’t work, etc. He’s 5 now and so much easier. Like night and day. So you’ll get there. But I agree on lots of physical outlets – get him a grocery cart that he can just run back and forth on the street with (yeah, that was our quarantine “hack.”) My second is not as much like this (has not yet stood up in his crib even) so it’s very kid dependent and nothing you or I did.
EB0220 says
I personally did not love that age. They can do plenty but you cannot reason with them whatsoever. Try to wear him out if you can (get one of those little mini trampolines) but otherwise just hold on.
Anon says
This behavior is in the range of normal for a 2 year old, but my 2 year old that was like this is now 5 and diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder – so I think it just depends. I had a feeling that something was off because he was just so violent when things did not go his way and I wish I would have trusted that sooner.
I agree with the above poster about physical exercise (swing, bike, run) was the only thing that helped. It is also part of his occupational therapy plan now, so it is something that can work either way.
Anonymous says
Can I just have a pity party for myself for a minute? A summer cold (Covid tests were negative) has made its way through our house, starting with my kids and finishing with my husband, then me. Covid rules mean my 2-year-old can’t go back to daycare while anyone is sick, which leaves me parenting my two kids (who are back to full steam) all day while feeling like absolute cr@p. I made it through yesterday with copious amounts of tv, but the cold medicine meant I woke up many, many times overnight (somewhere between every 15-45 minutes). I am just dreading today. Any ideas? Commiseration?
Anonymous says
Oh, and said toddler was up for the day at 5:25, because she hates sleeping.
Anon says
my kids are generally pretty good at playing in the bath for a long time. especially if i add bubbles or food coloring to it, or give them popsicles to start, put legos in the bathtub, etc.. good luck! parenting when sick is one of the worst parts of parenting
Anon says
Commiseration. This is us. Unsupervised arts and crafts (I fear for my kitchen table), all the TV and video chatting with retired relatives, and really long baths. Broke into the rainy day toy stash. Here’s hoping we’ll be feeling as awesome as DD does in two days.
anon says
I posted a while ago about my mom gifting a Fire Kids Pro10 to my 5 year old. I’ve gotta say, what a complicated mess that thing is! I wanted to like it, y’all sold me on the parental controls, etc. but its SO confusing! The constant switching between parent profile and kids profile and having to enter your pw over and over again . . . I also don’t really get the content. Previously my kid had been using an old Mac book which we have opened to a browser window with Netflix. That’s all the content she ever accessed. Sometimes we’d switch to Prime via the browser and we did have DIsney+ for a while, too. Now there’s this overwhelming amount of content on the Fire and it’s hard to even figure out what is a book, what is a random video, what is an actual show or movie, what is a game–she’s 5 and just learning to read so it’s not like she can do it on her own. I really want to like this thing, but what am I missing? I wish one of you could come over to my house and walk me through it because I just can’t figure out how to make it not a frustrating experience.
Anonymous says
We have a kindle and I specifically did not get the kids edition because it seemed problematic for some of the reasons you mentioned. Is there a way to uninstall Kindle Kids and just use it as a normal Fire tablet?
Beyond that, the UI is still confusing and buggy–we have an ongoing issue where i cannot get certain media to download to the SD card vs internal storage that fills me with rage. But you know, it was super cheap.
anon says
Idk. We have a fire kids and I consider it a huge waste of money, for all the reasons you mentioned.
Odd one out says
Friendships are hard. A group of 4-6 new acquaintance/friends meets informally once a month and has decided to start meeting at a time that doesn’t work for my schedule (I’m the only one with young kiddos). It’s no big deal and I let them know I wouldn’t make anymore but that it was fine to do what works for others and I understood. But now I’m getting pressure to make the new time work and I just — don’t want to. It’s not that I don’t like these people, but doing this would require a lot of logistical effort and I’m feeling very much like I just have nothing else to give right now. Why do I feel guilty about this?
Anonymous says
I hear you. I have let a lot of friendships slide for this type of reason. (was a late bloomer on the kids front so had lots of friends that were actually older childless women and in this stage of life it just doesn’t work..). As we emerge from Covid I am kind of realizing how few friends I have??
Despite that it sucks try to go every second month. It is hard to make new friends and I love that this group is organized. I guess you feel guilty because YOU actually want to go (FOMO more than guilt).
Anonymous says
Definitely a PITA – I would still try and go every second month if you can swing it.
Anonymous says
I would love to have this problem. I am shut out of everything, most disappointingly the book club, because my kid went to day care and I didn’t meet the other local moms until first grade. By that time the clique had been established since MOPS and none of them needed any more friends. They are all perfectly nice and I think some of them actually do like me and in other circumstances would become my friends, but their dance cards are already full.
OP says
I have no close mom friends locally either, for what it’s worth. These women are all childfree or have grown children or high schoolers. Their schedules are just different than mine right now and they have flexibility that I don’t. I understand that completely but the pressure and guilt to attend when I really just can’t make it work is draining.
Toddler Nap at Daycare Advise says
Seeking the experience of this group – for those who transitioned to full time day care at a slightly later age (my son is 27 months and just started full time care this week, previously at home with a nanny), how long did it take for your child to learn to nap at school?
This week was the first week where we had no nanny (who had been with us for 2 years) and started at school. The rest of the school transition seems to be going okay/normal. We have had a grand total of 15 minutes of a nap this week at school, (even on Monday and Tuesday, which were half days and he was home to nap, he didn’t nap at all).
At home with our nanny, our son had a specific pre nap routine – read two books, sing a song, get in his sleep sack, get put in his crib, turn on a stuffed animal that plays music, turn on white noise, fully dark room….. I do not, and have never expected, that his school would have the same nap set up in any way, shape or form. At school he has a nap mat, a blanket, and a dupe of is lovey from home (we actually sent the OG lovey to school and the dupe now lives in his crib at home). He is usually pretty good about napping, but there is occasionally times where he just doesn’t nap.
We have been lucky that on days he doesn’t nap, he doesn’t have a melt down, but we usually just get him in bed a bit earlier. However, he’s never gone 4 days without a nap like he has this week. Is this normal because of the transition to school? Any suggestions?
(I mean, personally, I also would not want to nap on the floor in a room full of strangers, but I also know that he’s happier child when he sleeps.) Thanks!!
Anonymous says
It could be the transition to school–if that’s the case, it should sort itself within a few weeks. Or he could be outgrowing the nap, in which case you might want to move up bedtime. If he is already skipping nap sometimes at home, he might be getting close to being done with it.
Anonymous says
Normal transition. It’s a more exciting environment than at home. He’ll likely start napping again in a couple weeks.
Anon says
Seeking experiences of those who have gone part time, say to a four day a week schedule. I’m a lawyer in government so extra points if you work in a similar environment but open to all! I carry the vast majority of the workload on the home / parenting front and for various reasons that is not likely to change in the next few years, and am just feeling burnt out on working essentially two jobs, and feel like I’m missing too much time with my kids. But, worried if I go part time I’ll end up getting a paycut while working not that much less / take a hit long term career wise (I’d probably have to give up a recently-obtained promotion for example). Any experiences you want to share appreciated!
Anonymous says
My experience (I only did it very short term) is that working fewer days does not results in less productivity – just less optional time for you. Are the you personality / does your job lend itself to working at home later?? What about staying full time but either (i) negotiating a different schedule – like I work 10 hours a day for 4 days to have Friday “off” or (ii) being super strict (with yourself) that you leave at X time every night??
Anonymous says
JD-preferred job at a nonprofit. All colleagues who have tried to go part-time have all either returned to full-time status or quit. It’s basically the same amount of work for less pay. In our line of work, it’s also difficult to work around limited availability. You often end up taking calls on your day “off,” which I would find incredibly stressful and disruptive.
Anonymous says
I went part time, 32 hours/4 days a week for a while. I was a government contractor, not a lawyer. It was the best choice at the time, and I loved it. I was not in a lean-in phase in my career, and had 2 under two. I did that schedule for a little more than a year before changing jobs (to private sector) and going back full time. New job was a step up and a raise, so the temp part time definitely didn’t hurt anything.
I say, if you can swing it, do it. Think of it as temporary, because it probably will be, and you’ll probably naturally feel like you can go back to 5 days a week without excessive strain at some point. You do need to guard your time, though. It was easy 5 years ago for me to just not be in the office and therefore not work, but if you have a wfh component to your job now, make sure you keep the boundaries.
Ifiknew says
I went part time in finance. I work 9 to 2 every day and now mostly from home. It’s perfect and I much prefer working every day so I can do pickup and dropoff and evening activities etc. I will caveat that I’m in a very unique role and my firm (very small) makes this work for me. They wanted me to be full time and I told them that I had only had 25 hours to give and they made it work. it’s a very family friendly culture and particularly my boss understands so it works very well. I do not at all feel that I’m getting paid less and working just as much,as everyone tells you will happen. Biggest thing is to find the right firm, I would not have gone part time at my prior “big finance” type jobs even though my previous employer tried to tell me they could do it.
Anonymous says
Do you have the option to use an alternative work schedule (ie work 9 hour days with one day off every pay period)? I do that and it’s amazing what having every other Friday off has done for me. No pay cut either!
Anon says
Looking for tips and tricks to handle 3 kids (7yo, 2yo, newborn) in the car. Right now we have a Jeep Grand Cherokee (so, only one row in the back), and a GMC Acadia with captains’ chairs in the middle and two seats in the way back. We’ll have three carseats — a bucket, a convertible and a booster. Eeek.
The Jeep seems to be — as narrow seats as possible, 7yo in middle, 2yo and newborn on the sides. Acadia seems to be 7yo in back. Any other brilliant ideas? I’m really struggling with getting my husband on board of not getting two GIANT cars, we do not need two cars to tote around the family — one big car for everyday use and one regular car seems to suffice. But noooooooooo, he wants a minivan AND a three row SUV and I’m just wondering if he thinks cars are free now?
Anonymous says
Ha, I think of a Grand Cherokee as giant. No, you do not need two three-row cars. As long as you can safely get all three kids in the second car, you only need one big comfy car for longer trips.
Kathy says
Honestly it sounds like you may already have what you need. Like your Jeep, we do three across in the back of a Subaru Forester – 4 and 2 year olds in narrow convertibles bookend the 7 year old in the middle on a Bubble Bum. It’s worked for our very short commutes (in the before times) but the 7 year old is getting too big to continue to be squished in the middle. I found what I call my “unicorn” car – a Kia Sorrento (similar to your Acadia but smaller). A compact third row SUV with captains chairs so the big kid can access the back, and it’s small enough to fit in our city garage.
Anonymous says
What seats you have makes all the difference in the world. I had Maxi Cosi buckets but I think you can get narrower now. If 7 year old is smallish, keeping them in a five point harness makes the fit better as you can put the seats right against each other instead of needing to leave room for the booster seat kid to reach the buckle. My 7 year old still fits the Graco Tranzitions. Clek Fllo would be great for the 2 year old. Any seat wider than 17 inches will make it a tough fit.
We have three across in our Subaru Outback as our main vehicle. Downsized from a minivan once the twins were forward facing. Use seatbelt installs over latch installs to give you more flex on exact positioning.
DLC says
Agree to this- it’s cheaper to get slimmer car seats than a new car. We have 9, 4, and 1 year old. The 4 and 1 year olds are in Dionos – one rear facing. The nine year old was in a booster, but thankfully has graduated to riding without because buckling the booster was a major pain. When it was bucket, Diono, booster, it was tight but doable in our Subaru Legacy, and barely doable (as in I had to buckle in the booster) in our Subaru impreza.
Also if you feel comfortable with the two year old riding forward facing, I found that helped things jigsaw together better
Anonymous says
Put the 7 y/o in the way back in a booster. That’s the purpose of captains chairs! When it’s time to get a new car, consider a minivan. They are great!
My almost 8 year old is ready to ditch a booster so you too may only need to worry about it for a year.
Anon says
We are in the process of buying a house but they found on oil tank on the property. It was removed this week but there were holes so now they are doing soil testing. Has anyone been through before? What are the chances that they come back contaminated?
Anonymous says
I used to work in this area of enviro law. Some tanks leak, some don’t. It’s pretty hard to guess until you get it out and/or get testing done. No visible holes/oil is a good sign. If it hasn’t leaked, great. If it has leaked and spread to neighboring properties it will be a huge PITA and I would walk away. If they do enough test pits to establish the size of the leak (sometimes a leak is quite localized because of the topography of the land), then they might just be able to remove a bunch of soil and you’re good to go.
Anonymous says
Agree – I currently work in environmental consulting and we see old oil tanks all the time. The older the tank, the more likely something has leaked and impacted soil will have to be removed to the state environmental agency’s satisfaction. Also agree with the other poster, if you’re on well water and contamination has gone into the well/groundwater, walk away since you’re a private individual and not an developer with money and time to throw at the problem (aka hire environmental consultants to work with the state agency to remediate the issue or go through voluntary cleanup programs, or other more involved solutions).
EDAnon says
I supervise construction for work and agree with the previous poster. Some leak and some don’t. We just redeveloped a site (that included a small gas station) and found completely unexpected contaminated soil in some places and no contamination in places the seemed at highest risk. If it wasn’t actively leaking, that’s a good sign.
Anon says
A friend of a friend bought a property with a buried oil tank that had leaked into their groundwater (they were on a well) and it caused many health problems. The seller had lied about it. You do not want to deal with that especially if the house does not have public water service.
Anonymous says
Going anon for this one. There is a situation that happened in my extended family and it’s making me look at my own family and bringing me worries. I have a son (17) and my sister has 2 daughters (18 and 22).
My oldest niece is starting a T14 law school this year. She interned in DC for elected officials and has plans for a political future. My youngest niece graduated high school this year. The plan was for her to do undergrad in a science field and then to attend Stanford doing a dual JD/MD degree. She was due to start at Cornell this semester.
Last week she dropped the bomb that she wouldn’t be going to Cornell. She didn’t confirm to any of the schools she was accepted to. She told her parents she got a job as a utility worker for water out in Colorado. Unknown to everyone she quit her job as a tutor last year and had been working in a garage instead. She said college or school isn’t in the cards for her and utility workers don’t need education and it is a recession proof field so she chose that. Her job is government and unionized. She also said she’s talked to national guard recruiting about a job repairing generators.
This bomb was completely out of the blue. Everyone is shocked. I guess I’m thinking and worrying about my son. He says he wants to do the JD/MD program at Stanford and we are getting ready for undergrad applications next year. He has given no indication he changed his mind but my niece never did either. I don’t know if I’m projecting or I should be worried or what. Should I talk to him or just leave it alone. And what I can I do to help my sister? She’s still reeling a bit.
Anonymous says
It sounds like your niece developed a solid plan for herself. Are you concerned with the social value of her job? As for your son, yes talk to him. It sounds like the actual problem with your sister and niece was that they were not communicating. Listen to what your son’s goals/plans/preferences are for his own life and try to support rather than push in a direction you would prefer.
anon says
+1 and if she was headed to Cornell she might quickly find she wants more intellectually stimulating work/colleagues and go back to that plan (or not). Your family sounds like a pressure cooker, better she does something like this now at 18 than later after the significant investment in her education.
Anon says
It sounds like your niece developed a solid plan for herself. Are you concerned with the social value of her job? As for your son, yes talk to him. It sounds like the actual problem with your sister and niece was that they were not communicating. Listen to what your son’s goals/plans/preferences are for his own life and try to support rather than push in a direction you would prefer.