Peplum tops are made for baby bumps. Here’s a work-friendly choice from new-to-me brand Ripe Maternity.
This navy-and-white-striped button-front top has a layered peplum that covers your bump. The flattering high-low cut also covers your backside. Keep this shirt for after your baby arrives — the button front is perfect for breastfeeding or pumping.
Add a pair of black cigarette pants and polished loafers for an office-friendly look. And on the weekends, sport leggings and your favorite sneakers.
This top from Ripe Maternity is $86 and available in sizes XS–XL.
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Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
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My family and I have been passing a cold around for several weeks now, it’s so annoying! Is everyone else having a tough spring for illnesses? We’ve never tested positive for Covid but we keep having colds and it’s really wearing on me.
Yeah we’ve had three colds since February and one of them was really bad (maybe the flu?). The US has apparently had a very late flu season because of Covid restrictions being lifted recently.
Between colds and allergies we’ve had runny noses and coughs since January.
It’s been almost a week of stomach flu cycling around our house, and I’m really struggling. A few days of nonstop TV for our toddler, and even though she’s recovered all she wants to do now is “watch television” (she screamed this morning because she had to go to school instead). It’s hard to take sick time with upcoming deadlines and I really just want to quit my job right now.
Yes. Between colds and Covid exposures, our kids are never in preschool and we have all gotten sick a few times.
We have yet to test positive for Covid (and we are pretty frequent testers). I was just telling my husband that I am sick of it seeming like we definitely will get Covid so it’s just looming and ruining our plans. But that’s manageable.
My only actual worry is losing my jobs because I am out to watch the kids so much.
4 colds (including the worst one of my life for which I actually had to take 2 days off of work, something I have never done for a cold because I’ve never felt sick enough to not WFH) and two stomach flus since March (but still no covid, knock on wood). It has been brutal. Taking DD today for her PCR test from last week’s covid exposure. Fingers crossed for a negative since her rapid tests have been negative, and then she can go back to preschool tomorrow and I can go back to the office and we will all be happier not on top of each other.
In the last month, we’ve had a run-of-the-mill fever virus, the flu (everyone but me got it, but I got a terrible cold instead!) and now a stomach bug that has hit all five of us one after the other. We have a baby and two young school kids. There is so much out there right now (and we are generally pretty healthy! Usually just 1-2 short illnesses per season).
My family of 5 was sick constantly from March 16th until early May. We had the flu, chest colds, ear infections, strep, a mysterious week long virus that ended in a crazy viral rash (not HFM or Roseola), at least one stomach bug, and sinus infections. My husband and two of the kids were coughing for 4 straight weeks.
For whatever reason, none of the 5 of us have gotten covid (yet). Kids are tested weekly in school and every new cold was another swab.
Ugh yes. We got Covid in February (which was luckily just a blip for us), and then in April all three of my kids were sick in turn, spanning about 11 days. I think that one might have been the flu? It didn’t occur to me at the time since it was so late in the season, but right now I know two different families with confirmed flu.
My kids are 2 and 4. Only my oldest is in part-time preschool, yet it feels like both kids (and sometimes me) have been sick on and off since the start of the year. We’ve miraculously avoided Covid but I’m tired of all of the germs going back and forth in our house.
Boston Legal Eagle says
2+ years in to this pandemic and I still don’t have a clear idea of what to do. Our county is back in red so our elementary school sent a “strong recommendation” to wear masks again, but it seems to ultimately be up to the parents now. My kids are back in their masks, although it’s far from universal. We’re planning trips for June and August. We’re still waiting for the vaccine for our youngest but at this point, I don’t know how much difference it will make. It just feels like I don’t know what the end game here is, whether we should be cautious or not, and no clear guidance either way. How is everyone else feeling?
Exactly the same. We are not red, just yellow but case counts are really high. We have a youngish city with a high vaccination rate so it makes sense that there are not a lot of hospitalizations.
My youngest also cannot be vaccinated yet. We don’t make plans other than outdoors (like camping). I wanted to travel to see my family in another state this summer but I don’t want to pay for such a costly trip only to miss it due to Covid.
My mental health isn’t great. Every time I schedule a day off when the kids have school, it gets taken by my kids being home due to illness or exposure. I just need time to do things but I am so tired.
Can’t you book the trip fully refundable? Plane tickets are all refundable now so you just need to find a refundable hotel, which isn’t hard. It seems like you’re basically letting Covid cancel the trip before you even book it, and I’m not sure how that’s less disappointing than booking and taking the (objectively pretty small) chance that Covid will cancel it.
I hadn’t thought of that. I am used to pre-COVID where anything refundable is crazy expansive. But also, my kids have been home for a week every month this year due to exposure so it seems…fruitless. But part of it is being overwhelmed by everything generally.
I just bought a normal economy-class plane ticket and there are no change fees. Much different from the Before Times.
Yeah it’s very different now. Normal economy plane tickets are refundable (for airline credit, not cash, but still…you don’t lose the money). There may still be some restrictions on “basic economy” but there are other good reasons not to buy those.
We mask in public places (including school) because we see little downside. We avoid unnecessary stuff indoors (eg groceries, which can easily be gotten curbside) but don’t hesitate to do fun stuff indoors while masked. We try to see friends mostly outdoors, especially this time of year, but go to indoor stuff on occasion. We do indoor playdates with school friends without masks because I figure the kids are already exposed through school. We have no plans to cancel all the travel we have booked for 2022.
If we get it, we get it, but I want to get it from a vacation or seeing friends, not something boring like the grocery store.
The only thing I care about is kids in school and vacations not cancelled. I don’t think schools should be closing for Covid.
We’re back to normal. We also had omicron, so after that it felt like we had a free pass for a while in a way, but I don’t think i could go back.
I AM going to be extra cautious about sending sick kids to school next year and I am going to opt to work from home when sick myself. Probably going to wear masks on planes/when traveling. But yeah, that’s where we are. That’s the best decision for my family. I want my kids to grow up cautious and smart, but not afraid.
+1 I had a cold recently — I’m 99% sure it was just a cold because we have a bajillion rapid tests and I tested a few times — but I stayed home from work just because I don’t want to be That Person sniffling at my desk. I also have a lower bar than I used to for keeping the kids home from school. But otherwise, normal.
I’m always going to wear a mask on planes from now on! Why didn’t we all think of this earlier instead of just accepting that you get sick every time you take a trip?
+1 million to masks on planes forever! And the subway.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 to this – we’re pretty much back to normal after we had Omnicron (only me and DS #1 tested positive). And we still mask when we go to stores, etc. We’re doing indoor dining (mostly just adults). This is pretty much the case overall with my COVID cautious colleagues and friends.
Awaiting the 4+ vaxxes which have seem to be forgotten…
Agreed 100% – I don’t think I’ll ever fly without masking again!
Mary Moo Cow says
I’m feeling indifferent. Our county just creeped into medium transmission level after months at low and we’re not changing any behavior. We still do indoor shopping, indoor swim lessons, some indoor dining, and I’m back in the office 3 days a week. School was mask optional for three months and had zero cases for 2 full months until 3 weeks after Spring Break, when 11 popped up, so they’ve reimposed some restrictions like no visitors and no group work. I expect cases to continue to rise and then fall again as the weather turns and people shift into outdoor activities again. Guidance we’ve gotten from the school authorities is school as Before Times in the fall and they’ll reevaluate in August.
I don’t there has been a clearly communicated, nationwide, endgame or guidance. There might be at the state or local level. My city skews more cautious, my county less so, and the neighboring county even less so. DH and I have made the decision to make our own risk assessment and be mindful that the people we socialize with might have lower risk tolerances and act accordingly.
How am I feeling? I’m over it. We got an email that a kid in my kid’s class tested positive on a rapid test on Sunday after testing negative on the school’s weekly PCR on Friday, but there was an outdoor class gathering on Saturday that the positive kid (and mine) attended, so the school recommended following close contact protocol and wearing masks for a week out of an abundance of caution.
I do not have an abundance of caution left, and furthermore I really don’t think it’s warranted for passing contact outdoors. My kids are all vaccinated, husband and I are boosted, half the family had omicron over the winter, cases are going up in our county, and I literally could not care less. I did send my kids to school with enough masks for the week and told them to mask up if teachers or other students request it. I keep a mask with me to wear if people ask or it’s required (med office and young kid-centric places still require them around here), but otherwise I’m living like it’s 2019.
There. Come at me, I know you want to.
Nope. Lots of us are like this just not as weirdly aggressive about it
Every time this comes up, several people chime in to say that being indifferent to masks means that you want all immunocompromised people to die. I’m just bracing myself. For the record, I wish everyone a long, healthy life.
I am immunocompromised and I would not consider passing outdoor contact something worth masking up for (seems oddly aggressive on the school’s part). I would ask you to either regularly test and/or mask if you were exhibiting symptoms or had a known positive contact (e.g. the person who exposed my daughter thought it was “just allergies” and didn’t test for a couple of days while choosing to not mask and interacting with children too young to be vaccinated and so now I have been wearing a KN95 in my own freaking house and asking my child to keep her distance from me as much as possible while we wait out her exposure period).
When I am in public spaces though, I wear a KN95 mask to protect me. And I choose my places to avoid crowds and frankly avoid the indoors during high sickness periods (flu, norovirus, covid). And the choosing of places was true pre-covid. It’s just part of the disease I have that I need to balance my risks differently than other people.
Ditto. I’m immunocompromised and honestly, at this point, I’m happy that I can wear a mask without being a freak, so it’s almost a net-win. A lot of the things I’m doing we did before 2020–avoid indoor play places, avoid crowded indoor places in winter, strict hand hygiene, asking people to let us know if they have an ill household member before getting together, etc.
For me, it’s a much different calculus now that treatments are available. I had long decided I would consider this thing “over” when vaccines and antivirals were widely available, and we’re there.
Sure, I’ll come at you. You’re IQ is very low if you don’t wear a mask indoors. I hope you get it and your kids get diabetes and then you all die.
Feel better? I didn’t want you to miss out on feeling smug on your high horse!
I know you can’t function without being morally superior in your indifference! Caring is uncool! If we improve schools in this country where will I get incredibly competent but poorly educated women to care for my children? If we save the environment my 401K might take a hit! If I put myself out the tiniest fraction of a little bit to help others it’s because I’m weak and they’re bad and how dare they!
This is… a lot.
Oh no thank you. Can this be removed?
Also lol at “you’re IQ”
I’m feeling slightly more anxious than I was maybe a month ago, bc I know more people who are covid positive right now, but honestly the only difference in my actual life is that slight increased anxiety. There are no mask requirements in our SEUS city now except for at the doctor’s office. We do a rapid test if someone has symptoms that seem like more than a normal cold, but our threshold for testing has gotten higher after a 3-month stretch where someone in the household (3 kids aged 2, 9, and 11, plus parents) had the sniffles at all times. I’ve had covid before, as has the toddler, and while I wasn’t noticeably sick at all when I had it, it did feel different than other head colds so I use that as a metric in terms of when to test.
We have returned to all normal activities (school, church, indoor dining, indoor activities, festivals, parties, etc.).
Everyone has had the maximum number of shots for which they’re eligible at this point. Hoping additional boosters for the adults and shots for the toddler are approved soon, but I’m not dwelling on it.
There’s a great article at Tyee.ca by Andrew Nikiforuk that summarizes several recent studies suggesting the 1889 Russian Flu was probably a coronavirus. It lasted about 10 years. It now causes 10-30% of common cold symptoms yearly.
The end game is wait it out — wear masks inside and in large stationary groups (like on outdoor train platforms) and get vaccinated. Spend as much time as possible outdoors.
Industrial cattle practices probably caused the 1889 version, SARS in 2002 started in agriculture workers, MERS in 2012 was caused by wild camels interacting with domestic camels. So advocate for environmental policies that protect habitats and food production policies that are pro-animal welfare and maybe we won’t have to do this this every decade.
Whoa, that’s fascinating. I knew that about SARS and MERS. I wonder what the story will ultimately be about this version.
Very interesting. I had never even heard of the 1889 pandemic. I think it is a good indication of where we can expect this disease to head, although the timeline will likely be different.
Normal life. If anyone in our house is sick or has energy levels pointing to coming down with something, we opt out and stay home. Staying home when sick is the thing we all should have learned out this, right?
Staying home when sick is what we should have learned, but most people haven’t. Our school district is getting aggressive about attendance. Everyone in my circle is showing up to gatherings sick. Part of the reason our family is continuing to mask is to avoid all the colds that everyone seems to be completely blase about spreading.
Also in MA and also got the “strongly recommend” email from our superintendent. Not doing anything differently.
My kids are all vaccinated, most of our friends and their have had COVID. When they are sick, they get a rapid and stay home. They are PCR pool tested weekly.
Socially, if there is COVID in the house, parents have been sending the healthy [vaccinated] kids to school in masks and testing daily (“test and stay” protocol but done at home). My oldest’s BFF wore a mask last week Wed-Fri inside (took off outside) because her older brother had covid. nobody else in their 5 person family got it.
We have resigned ourselves to the fact that this is going to be a long haul that lasts for at least the next several years. All plans are now understood to be fluid and we are ramping precautions up and down as local conditions warrant. During the winter omicron surge we went into total lockdown with the exception of school, where kiddo wore and still wears a high-quality mask. Around the end of February we eased up. We will lock down again when things get really bad.
We are still making efforts to avoid infection because the long-term effects of COVID are scary and not well understood. The fact that it looks like most people are going to get reinfected at least a couple of times a year makes me even more worried. We are wearing high-quality masks in public places and avoiding indoor dining. We are taking some risks in high-benefit situations, like sending our daughter to sleepaway camp. She is used to going off on her own for part of every summer, and being trapped at home for the past two years has really hampered her development. It’s not just a health risk but a financial risk–we will lose thousands and thousands of dollars if she is sick or quarantined and can’t go or gets sent home early.
The thing that is frustrating me most right now is public tr***it. Subways, buses, and trains seem to be some of the riskiest places that exist. I am about to resume both business and personal travel, and avoiding subways and light rail is really going to be a hassle.
Just wear a mask on the subway? I do it every day.
The crowding and lack of ventilation on the subway make masking seem inadequate.
I saw a headline over the weekend that the DC metro is considering masks-only cars. In theory, I’m all for it; it makes sense to me to have a safer option for things, like transit, that are unavoidable. In practice, enforcement would be tough. Metro commuters are very non-confrontational, and I’ve seen plenty of people maskless even when masks were required, let alone people eating and drinking when those are *always* against the rules.
If it helps, I took Chicago public transport to work for most of 2020 and all of 2021. Masked once that became the rule, vaccinated once available. I never got sick (regularly tested to rule out asymptomatic too).
I’ve flown a bunch since the end of airplane masking and haven’t gotten sick (I wear a KN95 on the plane and only eat it in flight when air circulation is good). I think a good mask goes a long way, even if it’s not perfect.
Still living a modified 2021 here, but it’s OK? If a little isolating because we don’t see as many friends as we used to but hoping that will change this summer with the pool and fire pits and outdoor BBQs. Between me being immunocompromised and DD not old enough to be vaccinated yet, we still avoid indoor activities other than school, work and swim lessons for her (which I view as a safety issue, but we pick end of day and a small class to minimize the people she is in contact with). Fortunately the weather is turning nicer so DH will eat outside with us now (in the past DD and I would bundle up and eat outside by ourselves at the few restaurants who kept patios open during the winter since we do not share DH’s aversion to cold). About half the kids in her preschool wear masks. I wear a mask at work when case counts are high (like now) but I back off when case counts are lower unless it is a large indoor meeting (which I can do because I am rarely within even 10 feet of another person at my office unless in a large meeting). We have a couple of road trips to visit family for long weekends over the summer (2 hour drive) and a longer road trip to the beach in August. Once DD is vaccinated in the fall (or sooner if under 5 gets approved and the data looks good), we are tentatively planning Disney (which includes flying) in January and a flying trip to see family for spring break next year. But I am pretty firm on no indoor activities except as mentioned above until she is vaccinated, and then we will continue to avoid them during high sickness periods.
I am waiting for the rest of the world to catch up to reality that “living with Covid” is not a sustainable option if adults can expect 2 or so infections a year and more for kids. Not only do you have the continuously disrupted work and childcare, but if each infection carries a 3-5% risk of Long Covid that lasts over a year, then 30-50% of the population will be disabled within 10 years (and this is the numbers for the vaccinated). These numbers are speculative but grounded in the most recent UK and US data.
I was immune compromised before Covid, so we have taken it seriously since the beginning, but my heart is sinking as more and more people join my online disability groups after each wave.
I think the shape of the pandemic will look a lot like the politics and long-term adaptation of water sanitation systems after Cholera. It is going to be a long slog but the obvious conclusion is that we will need more interventions beyond vaccines, including masks, ventilation, and air filtration. I expect it to take at least 2-3 more years to see real progress and 5-10 years is possible.
Really lovely society we have here. Everyone is in their own. Do your best.
It’s so frustrating to me that air ventilation, quality and filtration isn’t being taken more seriously. There was already so much evidence about how much it improves health, minimizes toxin exposure, increases productivity and moods, and saves companies money before COVID. Now it’s just inexcusable.
Amen to all of this.
This is baseless and unhinged.
So these numbers are whack. First of all, you’re assuming long COVID equals permanent disability, which it doesn’t. I promise you; I’m scared of long COVID too, but even six weeks of feeling lousy and the a year of feeling not up to par is horrible but not the same as permanent disability. And that’s on the bad side for long COVID (because it truly is awful! I want to avoid it too!). A lot of people in that 5% are tired at six weeks and then ok later.
Second, you’re assuming that people are equally likely to get long COVID on subsequent infections which is extremely unlikely. Post-viral syndromes generally happen because your immune system doesn’t know how to handle a virus. That’s why vaccines cut long COVID in half even when not tailored to the current variants. Variant-specific boosters will likely reduce that further. But so will having been initially infected once because your immune system is already primed.
There is concerning evidence about stealth longer term outcomes like heart attack risk. And of course we want to be concerned about that too. But that doesn’t seem to be what you’re talking about here.
If I was using the non-disabling Long Covid numbers of simply “not feeling up to par” those are more in the rage of 30-40%. Long Covid risk is not independent from numbers of infections. I haven’t seen any great studies yet, but the patient groups are seeing rising numbers of people who didn’t have severe postviral symptoms until their 2nd or 3rd infections, so yes people become at least partially more vulnerable with each separate infection carrying a separate risk for Long Covid.
I said I was waiting for people to catch up to reality for a reason. Clearly everyone wants to but into the sunny lies more than they want to face reality right now. So we’ll do a few more years of an annual 6-8 weeks of work and school disruption for infections (if you live in a family with young kids and consider the time off needed for you and them) and watch as there is a growing contingent of disabled people before we get serious about making our indoor air quality good enough to prevent the vast majority of infections.
Those are not real numbers. This is ridiculous and fear mongering and you should stop spreading it around. Covid is serious and long COVID is a serious risk but you are not helping by exaggerating the magnitude to this extent.
Every single one of these numbers can be backed up in a peer reviewed journal, except for the anecdata of patient groups who are seeing Long Covid arising on 2nd and 3rd infections when the first one or two infections were no problem. I’m sorry the truth is so horrifying but it is what it is.
I really and genuinely struggle with this. I honestly don’t know what the right answer is, but my kid had a severe mental health breakdown after school was closed for an extended period of time. Asking very honestly, what would be the preference for society to do? I completely agree with the statements that we need to devote more resources to air quality, the environment, and ventilation. But I do not agree that society should be “closed” indefinitely – kids need to be in school and interacting with each other, childcare needs to exist so parents can work, and people need to be able to go to work to make a living. I haven’t seen anything anecdotally with folks I know who have contracted COVID, nor seen anything to suggest that that level of disability is occurring or likely in the future. Curious if you can point me to the statistics.
I don’t think it works like that though. Some individuals have a 3-5% risk of long Covid but infections in the same individual aren’t independent of each other so individuals who aren’t long Covid prone are unlikely to get it even if they get infected multiple times.
I also think two infections a year is an overestimate. I only know a handful of people who’ve had Covid twice and no one who has had it three times and we’re 2+ years into this. The vast majority of people I know testing positive now had made it until now without getting infected.
Remember that the CDC estimates 40% of people still haven’t had it. So it’s not a small population that could still get a first infection.
I think two infections a year is a conservative estimate. A lot of infections were prevented in 2021 by lockdowns, remote work, and mask mandates in schools, on airplanes, etc. The current evidence shows that vaccinated people who have been infected are vulnerable to reinfection with omicron within 3 months. Between the end of all mitigation measures and increased t***missibility, it seems reasonable to expect a minimum of 2-4 infections per year in people who do not mask, maybe fewer in those who mask.
That seems a little silly given how many people actually haven’t been that careful over the last year and still haven’t gotten covid 2-4 times. Like
large swathes of the country. Also being vulnerable to reinfection doesn’t mean you’re as likely to get reinfected as someone would be to get infected as an initial matter, especially if you’re getting boosted.
All of this sounds like the more out-there Twitter consensus but there’s a reason no public health experts, including those who have been pushing for greater precautions, have been saying it. It just doesn’t make sense.
Agreed with Anon above. Where my parents and my in-laws live, COVID precautions effectively stopped at the beginning of last school year (so Fall of 2020). My nieces and nephews were all back in school, unmasked, for a full year last year. I definitely don’t think it is accurate to say that the transmission is going to go up because people are significantly changing their behavior now. I do think that’s true for many of the cities, but definitely not the majority of the country.
Yeah 90% of the people I know have done zero mitigation since May 2020 and have had Covid zero times, once or (at most) twice. I think it’s hard to get infected more than once a year and the combo of vaccine + infection gives you “super immunity” that is likely durable against many variants. (There are scientific articles about this if you don’t believe me). And remember that vaccines are very protective against severe illness and serious complications like clotting problems and MIS-C so even twice annual infection in the vaccinated likely isn’t a big deal. I agree unvaccinated adults are in for a world of hurt but I don’t really consider that my problem. Play stupid games get stupid prizes.
+1. Cases are starting to creep up in my area, and my kid is coming up on the end of her 90 days of freedom from quarantining this week (and much of those 90 days were spent with colds, the flu, and noro…). She’s too young to wear a mask or be vaccinated, and the local health department doesn’t allow test to stay for daycares, so I’m getting ready for another round of quarantines. Even when she had Covid at the end of February, most of the external people I work with were not willing to make any accommodations, and it was so so frustrating (and not like I was missing deadlines or putting off dealing with life or death situations). One of my colleagues went to a small conference last week, and something like 9 or 10 sessions had to be cancelled because the presenters either had Covid or were recently exposed (and conference attendees are people who typically work with very high risk populations). I’m presenting at a conference next month, and organizers are absolutely refusing to make any contingency plans for speakers who can’t attend at the last minute. I’m so tired of all this. If we’re supposed to be back to normal, stop making my kid quarantine for 10 days all the time. DH and I have decided that we’re probably one and done for kids because we can’t keep going through this every couple of months.
‘If we’re supposed to be back to normal, stop making my kid quarantine for 10 days’ — this.
I have one child too young to be vaccinated. Daycare has actually moved to test and stay, but [knock on wood] no test cases yet. They dropped masking for kids last summer, on the basis that replacing a three-year-old’s mask 50 times a day in practice is not good risk-reward, which is fine with me. Elementary school where most kids are vaccinated has moved on to test-and-stay, which to me is the right move if the long-term risks to healthy kids are low. I guess I’d say our risk tolerance is medium? We still mask if indoors for long periods (see: kid under vax age), except at swim class.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Thanks all. I feel a lot of what you all are feeling – I want to get back to “normalcy” on the one hand, but on the other, I feel like I’m being too cavalier. We’ve been doing occasional indoor dining and indoor get-togethers, and are these strictly necessary? No, but they bring me joy and connection with my spouse or friends. And with the masks at school – I’m all for it, I just wonder how much of a difference it’ll make now that it’s just recommended and not required, and these kids are involved in all sorts of activities and parties anyway (which is so important and nice for all of us!) And the travelling piece, I have trouble getting excited for our trips, knowing that they might be cancelled due to Covid at all times. But I suppose that’s life. I think I will also wear masks on public transit for a long time from now on – I do on my commuter train now. I’m probably trying too hard to find the “right” answer here when there isn’t one. Thank for letting me vent my feelings here.
i have twin 4 year olds. DH goes to work in his office without a mask, but his office has ~9 people in it, in a space meant for 20, so they are able to spread out. he has done some indoor dining for work purposes. I do not do anything indoors unmasked (including work) and our kids preschool went mask optional, and we are trying to keep our kids in masks, but they definitely aren’t being worn 100% of the time. i run errands, etc. with a mask and don’t really take my kids with me. our socializing is predominantly outdoors. kids do soccer outdoors. one does OT indoors, but she and the therapist are both wearing masks. Other than school, the riskiest thing our kids do is swimming lessons, though there are not a lot of people in the building at once and they have windows/doors open. we live in an area of the country that is very hot in the summer, so people tend to want to socialize indoors, but we will be sticking with outdoors bc we have a trip planned to visit family this summer that we really really do not want to cancel and i don’t find it that hard to socialize outdoors. DH and I are not on the same page, which is stressful, but i’ve kind of come to terms with it. Our families live flying distance away and we ask them to test at home before coming and wear good masks when flying.
Your Local Epidemiologist and Eric Topol both had very clear Substack updates today that I’m still processing.
Ear tube frustration says
Just venting – My kid got ear tubes a couple months ago, and I’m not impressed. She’s had one definite ear infection since then, and we’re thinking she has another. The problem is that when she gets an ear infection now, the tubes just get clogged with gunk, so we don’t actually see any drainage until things get bad and it turns into a massive ear/sinus/eye infection that requires oral antibiotics and staying home from daycare until there’s less stuff draining from her face (but never from her ears). She’s had thick yellow snot for two weeks now, so I finally called the ENT’s office over the weekend, and they said to start the ear drops. However, since the ear tubes are presumably clogged, the drops don’t actually go in. So now we’re waiting to see if the ENT thinks she needs to come in to get checked out and get her ears suctioned out, and of course the ENT has less availability than the ped’s office. This whole thing seems like it’s more of a hassle than it was pre-tubes.
Oh, that sounds miserable for everyone. You likely will need suction – and fair warning, it is a miserable process for kid and parent alike. Have them examine the placement of the tubes – they should be draining and not clogging, your experience is not typical.
Mrs. Jones says
It sounds like the tubes weren’t placed correctly. The tubes worked like magic for us; son basically never got sick again.
I’m sorry, but thank you for sharing. My toddler has never had an ear infection but takes a very long time to clear colds/mucus and the ENT has noticed fluids in his ears. He’s also a horrendous sleeper and she’s recommending tubes for that. Everyone makes tubes sound like a miracle cure, but I can’t help but be nervous…
I had HORRIBLE ear infections as a kid and still get them every now and then (never got tubes), so it seemed worth it to spare my kid the pain I went through. I’m seriously second-guessing the decision now.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. Seeing my son go into surgery for tubes/adenoid removal was much more upsetting than I had anticipated, and I would be SO frustrated if we had done that for seemingly nothing. This is definitely not how our experience went, I hope they can find a solution for you.
I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. Two of my kids have had ear tubes and both times they were miracles. The most recent one has lots of health problems and essentially wasn’t sleeping (literally skipping all naps and 4-6 hours max at night). The week after he got tubes he slept 14 hours PLUS two naps. I’d go back to the ENT ASAP and see if your ped can help you in the meantime. Maybe do the ear drops for a few weeks until you can get her seen. I remember what it’s like and it’s so lonely and frustrating. I hope you get some reprieve soon.
I am in a similar situation! Our ENT recently cultured the drainage from my daughter’s ear and had us switch to an anti-fungal drop after the culture started growing candida (a yeast infection). I would definitely ask for this if it hasn’t been done yet!
Thanks, I didn’t even think about this!
I don’t want to jinx myself, but I’ve been incredibly burned out at work through a merger and looking to go a new direction, though I wasn’t sure WHAT new direction. I reached out to a former colleague with a question about a cert they have/I was considering pursuing, and they mentioned they’re growing their team and had been thinking of reaching out to me! I put in an app and have a phone screening tomorrow. No guarantees, but it feels good to be taking steps to address my misery. The new opportunity also allows room for growing a lot of different possible directions while staying with the same company, which is something I haven’t had up to this point in my career (which has been local/state government/non-profit).
I’ve never interviewed with the private sector before, so fingers crossed!!
Good luck! I know the commentors can be kind of wacky, but Ask a Manger has a great guide to preparing to interview/common interview questions. And in my last go round of interviews everyone seemed to prefer/explicitly tell candidates to use the STAR method (situation, task, action, result) as their preferred way of framing responses.
I recommend this ridiculous sounding book called 60 Seconds and You’re Hired. It’s short and cheap if you want to buy it, but the crux of it is to prep five key ways in which you’re a great fit for the position – tied to the job description/organization/role. Then practice answering interview questions in a way that highlights your five things. I write my five things at the top of my notes so I make sure I cover all of them.
For example, coming from government, maybe you have extensive experience interpreting and implementing legislation. That may be unique in the applicant pool, so something you’d want to highlight (assuming it’s relevant!). Another one may be,say, extensive experience in mission-driven work and as a mission driven organization, it aligns with your experience. My husband made the jumó from a 100% government caterer to the private sector with success. For him, one thing that haloed was translating his experience serving the public to serving the board and shareholders.
Also, may or may not be relevant to the company, but I would prep solid answers to common DEI questions. We always ask one in interviews and it is clear when people haven’t really thought about the issue at all.
Also, good luck! I am so glad this opportunity came up for you!
First, congrats and good luck! Second, as someone who made the switch from government to private sector, several years ago, I just want to highlight that it’s a major thinking adjustment to go from public good motive to profit motive (hopefully not to the detriment of public good!). That diversity of experience and mindset is really good for teams, but it was a bigger change than I expected. The exercise above would be a great way to mentally frame up your transferrable skills and put them in this new context.
Thank you for highlighting that, I’m hoping I’m not downplaying that transition to myself. I became pretty disillusioned over the past few years and conflicted over being paid by taxpayers but answering to businesses in my current role and have reached a point where, if my actions are going to be guided by places that make a profit, I might as well be directly paid by the business I’m supporting.
Thank you for this excellent advice!
I had a baby last month and am exclusively breastfeeding. I’ll start pumping and try bottles in a few weeks, but am not there yet. With COVID rates high in our community we don’t want to take the baby inside. This means I feel reliant on my husband for every little thing like picking up a prescription or getting groceries or stopping at post office to mail a package. Is there some solution I am missing? Is this just how it is right now? I had my first kid pre-COVID and running errands was a big part of how I got out of the house during leave.
Imperfect, but how do you feel about curbside pickup? A lot of places in my area still offer it, and if you tack on a little walk in an outdoor area nearby, it might feel like the escape-from-the-house that you need?
I had a baby in February and yup, same thing. I didn’t want to start pumping early because I had oversupply previously. Plus, the baby did a lot of small feedings because otherwise she would projectile vomit everywhere. Add in short naps and I felt really tethered to the house, and I hated it. My only advice is just to wait it out and get out for short trips when you can (like, right after a feeding). We also did (and still do) a fair number of carrier naps. My favorites were ones where I’d meet up with friends outside.
I’m on the other side now — she’s three months, eating only every two hours during the day (and fine with bottles) sleeping through the night, and napping regularly. Life is SO much better. I almost cried with joy the first time I went to the grocery store. You will get there!
Can you all ride along on errands to get out of the house, even if you’re not going into stores? That and walks. Our child was born pre-Covd, but I didn’t get out much either. It is really hard.
I think it is just how it right now, but you can still run errands without going inside anywhere. You can do drive throughs, you can drive to a scenic overlook and just roll down the windows and look at the view, or start visiting all the playgrounds in your area (playground buddy app usually has good maps), check out local hiking trails, etc.
I had a pandemic baby (almost 2 now. Holy moly) and yeah I basically sent my husband inside for everything. He is in the army reserves so there were weekends when I had to actually do stuff on my own and curbside pickup was the answer. Most major retailers still have it. I know there’s a lot of valid issues with Amazon, but the convenience factor is great in this stage.
I personally really enjoy the grocery store because I love food and cooking. The first trip to Costco without the baby made me super happy.
To address cabin fever I would go to the park and push him in the stroller with the sun shade all the way down mostly to keep people from getting near him.
so i had my kids precovid, but i had twins, and never took them on an errand anywhere. running errands with an infant was not at all part of my parenting experience. i’d go to the grocery store on the weekends in between feeds in order to get out.
I would definitely do curbside pickup (or, for groceries my recommendation for all new moms is a delivery service (we have been delivery-only since I was pregnant with my daughter 5 years ago), which solves the reliance issue but not the getting out of the house issue), eat at restaurant patios on off hours (so they are not crowded) and go for outside walks in nearby parks or outdoor shopping centers (again, pick off hours so it isn’t crowded). I do curbside pick-up for just about everything because I find it more convenient (target, williams-sonoma, total wine, home depot, etc.). For the prescription, find a pharmacy that does drive through. You probably have to leave post-office to him.
I had a baby last month too! If you don’t want to go inside there’s Target pick up, grocery pickup, and some pharmacies have drive through. You can wrangle it if these things exist near you. Fwiw I do run errands with the baby at off hours, using a car seat cover thing as a baby “mask”. I feel like exposure has been pretty minimal.
In a perfect world, our 7 week old would probably be as protected as yours is, but we haven’t been able to avoid being out and about with baby and our pediatrician is completely fine with it. We live in a (high Covid risk right now) city without a car, and baby has been in and out of stores since 2 weeks or so. The ped told us to pull the shade all the way down on the bassinet / throw a blanket on top, or to use the carrier (which is our preferences), to keep people away and that’s been working. I still mask, though my SO does not.
Anon Lawyer says
So I know kids act differently at daycare, but apparently my 2.5-year-old doesn’t talk at her daycare at all. Her teacher says her comprehension is great and she’s on target in every other way but she barely even uses any words regularly. She’s not super verbal at home – maybe even would qualify for speech therapy (planning to talk to her ped about it at her 30-month-appointment), but says phrases and occasional short sentences. And she’ll echo back words people say to her which apparently she NEVER does at daycare.
I am especially worried because she’s super resistant to going. She’s reactive at drop off but even more than that, she’ll get upset when I mention it outside of daycare (like, oh, tomorrow is a school day and I’ll get cries). But by all accounts she’s happy when she’s there. And her teacher is super experienced and even teaches child development. I also know a bunch of the other families and everyone has been really happy with it. And she’s been there almost a year.
So basically, I guess I’m wondering if this is a sign or something I should be really worried about. It seems today bizarre to me but maybe less so than I think?
I think it sounds like a sign of language delay you should raise with the pediatrician sooner than later.
Anon Lawyer says
Her appointment is Thursday and I just heard this from her teacher this morning. But I’d be interested to hear more about the difference between home and school in this regard if that’s what you’re thinking.
Admittedly I’m coming at this as a mom whose kid was nearly referred for selective mutism evaluation (we postponed until age 3 and he did grow out of the worst of it to the point that we probably won’t do the evaluation, but we’ll see) but this rings to me as mildly concerning re kiddo, not concerning re daycare. Our issue presented differently (extremely verbal at home, near silence at school, which is classic for SM) but in discussions with a SLP I know, she mentioned that many kids with all sorts of speech issues go really quiet away from parents because parents have the highest comprehension rate, and kid knows it, and even the small bit of stress that separation presents can really shut down the verbal abilities for some kids. Your situation doesn’t sound like an emergency, but raising it with the ped seems like a good idea, and maybe some gentle pushing for an eval if the ped isn’t getting why you are concerned.
Anon Lawyer says
Thanks this is helpful and that might be some of it. I was surprised because earlier in her time at daycare she was generally speaking more there than at home. So it seems like it has shifted which might point towards that. I’ll talk to the ped about it on Thursday.
Same anon with a kid with possibly SM — you mentioned downthread that you are changing schools soon, and I wanted to come back and say that is a golden opportunity to get a snapshot of how kiddo is doing. I thought my kid was improving on speaking to people who aren’t family, but it’s hard to be sure in pandemic times. But then we moved when he was 2.75, and he started at a new daycare, and he blew us all away with how quickly he was able to start speaking. In previous room transitions at daycare he would go 100% silent for weeks to months, which is super stressful, but in this transition he was talking within a week. It was wonderful to see, and I would have had no idea just how much he’d improved if not for the change. So pay lots of attention and ask lots of questions around the transition, is what I’m saying. You may get lots of good info to take to the SLP if that’s where you end up.
I mean it could be selective mutism? This is a thing where kids only talk to family and 1 maybe 2 of the same kids at school. I would call Infants & Toddlers to get her evaluated. And she may also not like her childcare?
In addition to the potential SLP issues raised above, I had a kid who absolutely hated our wonderful, universally beloved daycare with amazing, experienced teachers. As he got older, it turns out he has a lot of sensory issues that he wasn’t able to verbalize in this environment, but essentially, the noise/kids/environment was just a bad fit for him. Among other issues, ambient noise is really stressful for him. In hindsight, I wish I would have looked into other options for him at this age, as I think he had a few pretty stressful years at an otherwise lovely, wonderful, awesome childcare center that was a perfect fit for my older kid.
Anon Lawyer says
Thanks. She is actually switching in August due to aging out of this one. I haven’t noticed any sensory issues in other settings – e.g., my mom has her two days a week and takes her to a gymnastics class and a preschool science playground at a museum that she absolutely adores even when lots of other kids are running around. And she hasn’t been in a ton of other care situations if only due to Covid but she will warm up to other adults who make an effort with her. So I have never gotten the impression she’s shyer or more anxious than any other 2-year-old, not that I have the whole perspective. Except that she is used to having an adult totally dedicated to her except in a daycare setting so that might be anxiety causing in and of itself.
But I have wondered if something about it just isn’t a fit for her – she’s also the oldest and the two who are close to her she seem to have kind of make a bff/bestie pair. It seems like it should be minor but maybe she just doesn’t feel like she’s connected?
Ugh, sorry for the novel, everyone.
But you described her as not being super verbal. So there are issues outside of daycare.
Anon Lawyer says
Right, I agree and was going to talk about that with her pediatrician anyway. From what I’ve read she is meeting milestones and passes the screening they send out but just barely, I think, so I don’t know if she’d qualify for services but it seems possible or like some private sessions may be useful. But it seems like a BIG difference to me between meeting the milestones but just barely and not talking at all at her she and it really threw me for a loop to hear that this morning. So trying to figure out if it’s anxiety about speech vs. about setting or something like that. I understand nobody here can tell me, and obviously I am reaching out to her doctor, that so some of it is just thinking out loud but it has been helpful to hear anecdotes and experiences.
I had a slow to talk kid and the advice I got from the speech therapist was to make her ask for things. Don’t preempt her needs by getting her things, but make her ask with words if she wants something (e.g., a drink or a snack or to go outside or a toy). Ask questions and encourage her to speak.
If there’s anxiety involved that may backfire, but if you think it’s more developmental or a habit or personality trait, it could be worth a try.
Anon Lawyer says
Thanks, I definitely could be better about this! I also think that part of what is going on is that she just does things herself – she has zero compunctions about moving furniture around to try to get a snack she wants off the counter or rifling around in the freezer to bring me a box of ice cream sandwiches while I’m on the toilet. So I have always figured there’s a bit of a push-pull there – she uses words when she can’t do something herself – but I also don’t want to quash those independent tendencies. I’ve also always been worried about making her personality into a problem to be solved. Not that I’m at all against speech therapy but it’s part of why I wasn’t pushing for it when her ped and teacher didn’t think it was warranted at 2. But now I’m kind of spiraling about what’s going on.
I mean I get you’re upset but as an outsider, you’ve been noticing a lack of verbal skills for a while, and those are also showing up at daycare.
Anon Lawyer says
Right, I understand that which is why I’m not ignoring the speech issue. I feel like I’m not expressing myself very well. The issue is not that I thought she was brilliantly verbal and was totally ignoring the speech thing entirely before this. The issue is that it sounds like she’s a totally different kid at daycare and that concerns me. If the answer is – yes, this is often what happens with kids who are borderline at speech at home and a good sign that speech therapy is warranted, that’s good to know and I appreciate that someone suggested that because that explanation does make sense and I will 100% bring it up with her doctor.
I was trying to work through some of the other stuff like selective mutism and sensory issues because I hadn’t seen that level of anxiety in her elsewhere and – again – I find it concerning. I don’t know, I am upset, but it’s not really clear to me why I’m getting responses suggesting I’m ignoring something I said several times
I was addressing.
Hello! Does anyone here use buy sell trade (BST) trade pages on Facebook? Do you have any favorites? Mine was The Mom Edit BST, which is a good community with the type of clothes I am typically looking for, but I haven’t loved the offerings recently. I think they are getting more resellers, which isn’t really what I’m looking for. Wondering if anyone else has some suggestions for pages that have a mix of work and weekend wear in the nordstrom/saks/anthro/etc price range?
At my husband’s request, I fully delegated food shopping and meal prep to him, as part of better divvying up house/family work. He asked for a little grace as he gets used to it, which is fine. I am super organized so we, for example, never run out of milk. But we did this week, so I ran to the store and got it without comment. It happens!
However, we have a small fridge, which I bought so I am sensitive about. It was the best option for the space. To address that, I am a careful shopper and attentive to using stuff up/cleaning stuff out. He is not doing that. The fridge is a disaster with tons of duplicate food items and tons of expired food. I even saw him see that something was expired and then put it back! To me, managing by the fridge is part of the food purchasing role. He also tends to complain that the fridge is too small. I hate that. It just takes a bit of planning and it’s fine. It’s not, like, a mini fridge or something.
Do I say something to him? Just clean it out? Consider this part of his figuring it out and leave it?
Let it goooooooooo or it’ll be your job again.
If it wasn’t already clear in your division of labor, you should tell him that purging expired food is also his responsibility. If he has to do that, hopefully the food waste will be more in-his-face and he’ll get better at it more quickly.
I think you need to be clear about your expectations/desires and be willing to compromise…to me, managing the fridge is separate from buying food. I meal plan and buy all the food but I sometimes have blinders on regarding the old leftovers and expired things. My husband and I just discard things when we notice them, and he notices more than I do. You might also be a more organized person, and therefore it’s easier for you to assess and pull the old stuff out. So basically 1) I don’t think your assumption is naturally understood by your husband, and 2) have a conversation and/or pull things out yourself when you notice them
I think you can have one conversation about your “best fridge practices” and then that’s it.
I think you talk to him not us. “Babe the fridge is full. Do you want me to help with that? Or do you want me to leave it to you?”
Re: the fridge and being sensitive, I’m the queen of reading into things that aren’t that deep, and he probably isn’t blaming you every time he says it’s small. Either way, feel free to respond with “I know! If we ever redo the kitchen, I’m definitely planning for a bigger fridge” or “I know, it’s so inconvenient! Next time we buy a house you’re bringing a measuring tape so we can see how big the spot for the fridge is! Lesson learned for us!” In other words, acknowledge it’s inconvenient while gently reminding him it’s the one that fits there.
I think you have a few options
1. “Hey honey so I realize I didn’t say this in our conversation, but part of buying the food is cleaning out the fridge as you put away the groceries. So checking that there isn’t already jelly in there, for example, before putting unopened jelly in the fridge, and checking expiration dates on condiments regularly. I realized I didn’t say that in our discussion, and it’s not fair of me to hold you to a standard I didn’t communicate, so I wanted to let you know.”
2. “Hey honey, if you have a chance, let me know when you plan to grocery shop and I’ll make sure to clean out the fridge before then so there is more room.” (hoping he’ll either say he’ll take it on or you’re OK doing it yourself)
3. Just leave it and hope he figures it out
Holy passive. #3 is all I’d recommend. Let it go.
Can you buy a second fridge and put it in the garage or basement? We have a small fridge in the kitchen but also have a full sized not fancy one in the basement. While it for sure holds beer and freeze pops, plus some freezer burnt chicken from our COVID emergency stash 90% of the time, it’s great for oversized grocery runs like what you’re describing.
Marriage is not like supervising an employee. “Delegating” generally means letting him do it his way. Let it go.
My 4 year old (boy) asked for a bike for his birthday. Any recommendations of a bike for a 4 year old (also should I do a balance bike or a small one with training wheelsbh
My 4 year old (boy) wants a bike for his birthday. Any recommendations? Also should I do a balance bike or one with training wheels?
I would go straight to the most lightweight pedaled bike you can afford, and take the pedals off for the beginning. I LOVE our woom. My small and not wildly athletic son was pedaling on his own by about 36 months. Woom and prevelo are the two big brands, at least in my neck of the woods, and they both hold value well. I bought his first one before the demand went through the roof, but am the 4th (? 5th?) owner of his current one one size up and it’s in fine shape. I plan on storing it for my next kid in utero unless a friend wants to borrow in the interim.
If you don’t want to go that far, I’d just get a balance bike. I think most folks in to biking with kids would tell you to never get training wheels, especially for a 4 year old. They weigh a lot, keep kids from learning how to balance, and basically instill bad habits. YMMV of course.
We are such big believers in balance bikes here. Even my 3yo jumped easily to a pedal bike a few months after balance (the 5yo needed only a month before moving on to the pedal bike).
I liked the scoot brand balance bike we got for the younger one – it had a hand brake which was good for practicing, and also had rubber wheels. The older one learned on a very basic Gomo brand which worked fine too esp since she used it for only a month, but the foam tires I suspect wouldn’t have held up super well for longer term.
Also echoing above, we love woom bikes – now that they are both pedaling we have two of those and they are fantastic.
Thirding the woom bike. It is worth it. For reference: my almost four year old had a woom 2 for the past year. It was $350 and we sold it on FB marketplace after a year of use for $275. He’s in a woom 3 now but we also looked at prevelo and guardian which seemed like excellent options. If you get the woom 3 just take the pedals off. Do not bother with training wheels. My son was riding with no training wheels by 35 months and it’s not like we are some big biking family. This was primarily learning in our driveway.