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I’m seeing a lot of asymmetrical necklines in maternity sheath dresses right now, and i really kind of like the look. It can make layering necklaces a bit more difficult, of course, and it makes dresses more memorable, but sometimes you want to be remembered. This teal maternity dress looks flattering and comfortable, and I like that it’s only $88. Kimi and Kai Teagan Body-Con Maternity Dress Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines. (L-all)Sales of note for 4.14.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon in NOVA says
I really like this, what a gorgeous color! I agree with the necklace difficulty-that was my immediate thought. I think the neck line is interesting enough by itself that bracelets and earrings will be more than enough.
I’d like to hear everyone’s opinions/experience with heels in pregnancy. I was a student in my first pregnancy so heels weren’t an issue. As a professional, I’d like to think I could still wear them in certain situations, but is that unrealistic when you’re super preggo? Is that just some Kate Middleton-level stuff?
anne-on says
I think it depends on the type of heel. I definitely wore boots with heels until the very end of my pregnancy, but they were low (2ish inches) and block, so fairly stable. Towards the end of my pregnancy I felt so unstable that heels would have been a disaster on me. For the first few months though it wasn’t an issue and I wore heels as I normally would.
If you’re feeling a bit unsteady but would still prefer heels what about the blocky heeled styles that are in now? I also lean towards mary-janes or other styles with a strap for added stability.
Anon in NOVA says
I’ve seen the mary jane style heels in a lot of maternity ads and they look very cute with a maternity dress, that’s a good call. Block heeled booties are really cute and would probably be great for pregnancy, but I still haven’t crossed over to block-heeled pumps yet. If I was pregnant I’m sure I’d reconsider.
MSJ says
By the end of my first trimester I was no longer able to wear heels, so I used it as an excuse to get flat oxfords (more support than ballet flats). For me, it was more back pain than a lack of stability. I think you definitely get a pass while pregnant and I was uncomfortable enough that I didn’t want to have to deal with uncomfortable shoes.
POSITA says
I gave up heels much sooner with number 2. I think my ligaments were looser and I felt tippy before my bump was even very big. If I recall, I think I was in low wedges by 16 weeks, maybe? Certainly before 20 weeks.
CLMom says
I stuck with kitten heels, 1-2″ tall through the day I went into labor.
SC says
I switched to wearing flats most of the time pretty quickly in my pregnancy. I was uncomfortable enough without forcing myself to wear heels. I kept a couple pairs of heels at my desk and changed into them for client meetings, court appearances, and times I’d be seeing lots of people, not just sitting at my desk by myself or talking to the same 5-6 people I typically worked with.
D. Meagle says
I wore wedges (ranging from 2.5″ – 3″) all the way to the end. I found that the incline helped alleviate my back pain (which was exacerbated in flats) but the wedge was more comfortable/stable than a heel.
CLMom says
Ditto re: the elevation’s benefit.
PrettyPrimadonna says
Same. Until my very last week, where I wore thong flat sandals every day to work. O_O
FTMinFL says
Yep. I wore wedges almost every day after 18-19 weeks until 37 weeks, I think, when my feet had swollen out of them. I was in denial that it would happen and ended up needing to make a Target run on my way to work to find cheap flats that would fit for the last few weeks!
Edna Mazur says
Interesting, I had terrible back pain the first go-arounds. Any brands you recommend for a low, stable wedge?
NewMomAnon says
I heard enough stories from women who suffered permanent foot issue (fallen arches, damaged joints, etc) from wearing heels during pregnancy that I stuck to flats. Another note: if your feet are swollen, don’t wear any shoes that you want to wear after the pregnancy. I stretched out several pairs of shoes so badly that I had to donate them postpartum.
Beth says
First baby, my feet never swelled, so I wore heels until about 6-7 months. Second baby my feet swelled up like sausages and heels and normal shoes were a no-go. I bought a size up in black flags and wore those, then was in flip flops for the last 6 weeks or so.
H says
I couldn’t wear heels after week 36. Not pleasant at all. I did wear them a couple times a week before then.
Anony says
I was very lucky and no swelling issues, so I continued to wear my normal heeled shoes through about month 8. It was nice to have at least some ‘normal’ stuff to wear, when everything above ankles was just varying degrees of maternity frump in a rotation.
Lyssa says
I’m sure that it varies. I scaled down gradually – normal at first, eased out my less comfortable ones around 20 weeks, then wore them less frequently for a while. I don’t think that I went to all flats all the time until about the last 2 weeks or so.
Anonymous says
I’m 20 weeks and I wear heels or wedges probably 2 days a week. No feet swelling issues, but my joints (and back) are more achy than usual after a day in heels or wedges. I generally prefer flats anyways though.
Edna Mazur says
Remember your joints loosen up during pregnancy due to the relaxin (sp?)and your balance is off due to the change in your center of gravity.
I know of someone who fractured her leg while she was pregnant because she lost her balance and fell in heels. I’ll wear them for awhile in the first trimester but not much after really.
Wow says
I rocked 3 inch heels until the last days of my pregnancy, and I don’t consider myself particularly coordinated. Obviously see how you feel at the time, but it can be done. My feet did not swell either.
Spirograph says
I was good in 3 inch heels into my 3rd trimester. I didn’t give them up because they hurt or I felt unsteady, just because idgaf the last couple months and even un-pregnant, flats are more comfortable!
I didn’t think my feet had swollen too much, but my stretched out shoes told a different story.
Apt advice says
(Cross posted on main site too)
Ladies, what would you do in this situation? H and I are expecting our first child this spring but we currently live in a hcol city so we need to move to a 2 bed from our studio. We’ve got 2 options so far: (1) is a cute split level apt in a very convenient and kid friendly neighborhood where a couple of our friends already live. But storage is minimal, there are no amenities and the room we’d likely have to use for the baby has an exterior door. It’s a relatively safe neighborhood, but still a city. (2) is a similar square footage in a condo building with a front desk and gym and gas stove with more storage. But the baby’s room Would be in a loft-like space with walls that don’t go all the way up and no real door. So I’m concerned about having to sneak around while the baby’s sleeping. Plus the area is kind of a business district without many parks, etc. so I’m concerned about not having much of a neighborhood community or things to do while on mat leave.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!!!
POSITA says
Number 1 for sure. You want walls and doors so you can live while the baby sleeps.
(was) due in june says
Not even a question for me. Walls and doors and option 1. You can add a security bar and other stuff for the outside door, or even, with landlord permission assuming it’s not an emergency exit, have the door semi-permanently closed with screws. A loft is not a room and would be an utter disaster.
quail says
Definitely option #1. Convenience, walls, and friends are all key factors – way more than an exterior door is a negative (in my mind.) Also, having two levels is nice.
Anonymous says
Option number one, for us at least.
We are in a HCOL with a 10-month old (moved from a small 1 bedroom when I was pregnant). I will be honest, more storage would be amazing. BUT if you want the baby in its own room (and are planning on staying for a while), a loft-like baby’s bedroom would be a no-go. We still have our kid in our bedroom, but to get her to sleep a decent chunk of time once she started going to bed at 7ish (around 4 months) requires a door + white noise. Definitely.
Where does the exterior door open into?
Apt advice says
Thank you! It opens onto a patio which is not secured in an alley…
anne-on says
Definitely option #1, especially if it gives you access to your own outdoor space and friends nearby. Having a ‘tribe’ especially as your kid gets older is so so important, and kid-friendly amenities mean SO much more to me now than I ever thought they would pre-baby.
CHJ says
I voted for #1 on the main site too! With the comment – can you switch rooms so that you have the one with the exterior door?
Apt advice says
Thanks so much for all the advice so far! We’d like to switch rooms, but have a king bed, which would make it tricky I think. Esp for when we need to have a bassinet in the room…
SC says
Option #1 for sure. The convenience of having friends with children and parks nearby will be worth it. And having walls and doors while Baby is sleeping is key. Storage is nice (and so is a gas stove), but you’ll figure it out. FWIW, we have a similar setup to Option #1 (but in LCOL area).
Anon says
Option 1 for sure. Few reasons:
– That elevator/door situation may become a bigger hassle as baby grows. We were in a similar building with my first, and I thought it was really hard to lug all my gear through the few extra hurdles (to the elevator from parking space, then up garage elevator to lobby, then through the lobby, then up the elevator to floor, etc.). Also, it took an extra 10+ minutes to get upstairs b/c a 12 month is distracted by elevator buttons, the doggies in the lobby, the sweet door person saying hello!, etc. Was great some times, but frustrating at other times. I know city people do it all the time, but if given the choice, I much preferred an apartment where I walked down a half flight of stairs then was right outside.
– The access to outdoor space and kid friendly spaces may be glorious for YOU as well as baby. This may be very person dependent, but I struggled with PPD after my first. Getting out of the house and being outside with baby really really helped. But, when we were in the building, it was such a hassle to leave and then drive to the park, that we stayed cooped up more made any of us happy. With my second, I loved just bundling up the baby, then walking outside to push a stroller (it felt less overwhelming than leaving the highrise apartment) – and seeing lots of other parents and families helped as well. When I really needed a boost, I really needed that easy access (that being said, if being outside isn’t a boost for you, may not be as important). Ultimately, we left our highrise even though it has great commute for both of us b/c it was a big toll on my mental health.
– My second is a crazy, insane climber. Out of his crib at 9 months. Putting aside the noise issues, we would have had bigger safety and confinement issues if he was in a room without at door at that age.
Request that your landlord add a dead bolt to the exterior door in baby’s room, and get one of those alarms that goes off if the door is opened. Good luck!!
anon says
#1
ChiLaw says
I would probably bring my concerns up the chain. My kiddo is in a BH center and the care they give the infants is amazing — tons of interaction, trying cool stuff to give them age appropriate stimulation, etc. etc. I think that that is the standard that BH tries to set. So with that in mind, I would be expressing my concerns up the ladder somewhere before moving kiddo out.
RDC says
Also vote for #1. With the exterior door, if security is a concern, it seems you could replace with a more secure (solid) door with a deadbolt. I actually see it as a benefit – you have an alternate escape e.g. in case of fire.
In House Lobbyist says
Just wanted to add that our old Victorian house in the city only had one bedroom downstairs. So we turned the library into the baby room even though it had an open doorway to the hallway and an open doorway to the tv room. We just used a sound machine the whole time and we never had an issues.
POSITA says
I’m struggling with my infant’s daycare. Big sister is at the same large center (Bright Horizons) and we all love her teachers and friends. It’s a great fit for the 3 yo. We really, really don’t want to move her.
Little sister is 5 months and started in the infant class about a month ago. I just haven’t gotten warm fuzzies. The teachers seem to do as little as possible. They’ll change, feed and dress babies, but they don’t ever gratuitously play or talk to them. They’very been very focused on teaching my baby to hold her own bottle so that they dont have to feed her, for instance.
Then on Friday my husband came for pick up and found my 5 mo sleeping on her stomach in the crib. To the best my my knowledge, she has never rolled over and should be on her back. My husband asked and the teacher swore she rolled to her belly and fell asleep. I don’t buy it. From what I’ve seen, my guess is that she fell asleep on her tummy on the rug and they moved her to the crib still on her tummy. Should I raise this with the director? I feel crazy calling the teacher a liar, but I really do not believe that my non-rolling, does-not-put-herself-to-sleep child rolled over and went to sleep exactly in the center of her crib.
Then this morning I dropped the 5 mo off into a room with 12 babies and 2 caregivers. I asked at the front desk and they told me that traffic was bad and many teachers were running late. We are in a 3:1 ratio county. I don’t know if more teachers arrived moments later, but it was really hard to leave her in the pack of babies. (Twelve infants all lying on a single carpet while the two teachers sat to the side talking and ignoring the babies.)
Gah. What would you do? Should I lower my expectations for the sake of a single drop off? Move the infant and have to make it to two places every day? Move both and risk upsetting a very, very content 3 yo? Raise it with the director and say what?? Infant daycare spots are hard to come by here, so my only option may be a nanny or home daycare.
mascot says
I’d give it a little more time. I think pick-up and drop-off times are generally chaotic and probably not the best indicator of what is going on the rest of the day. As far as stomach sleeping, isn’t 5 months about the age that they start rolling and they’ve got the neck strength to turn their heads when they do roll? My kid always did things at daycare that he refused to replicate at home. Daycare cribs are usually really bare/safe and there is always someone in the room.
POSITA says
I don’t think she was in terrible danger, but I don’t like that I don’t believe the answer that I was given. If the teacher had said, “Oh, I thought she was rolling already and I didn’t want to wake her.” I would have believed her and just reminded her that the baby needs to be on her back for now. But I really don’t believe that she rolled over and went to sleep. She is doing all sorts of other things these days, but hasn’t shown the slightest interest in rolling.
BKDC says
Yikes, that would give me pause, too. Drop offs can be nutty, but in situations like that, daycares will usually have a floater come by or will maybe combine the rooms (bring a baby in with the toddlers) to ensure that ratios are met. And finding your baby on her tummy — that’s definitely a game changer for me.
If you do like the facility, talk to the director about your concerns. There are things that are sometimes not worth the battle — but a young infant sleeping on her belly and a failure to maintain the ratio are. I wouldn’t lower your expectations here, but I also wouldn’t borrow trouble. Talk to the director — he or she is not going to want to hear about violations and should act swiftly to resolve the problem.
Anon in NOVA says
I say trust your gut and start looking. I don’t think you need to pull your child out immediately (though that’s totally up to you), but I would personally start looking at in-home daycares. If 3 year old is happy I’d leave them. The multiple drop offs will STINK, but not as much as leaving the daycare every day with that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Yes, your baby may have rolled. But there’s clearly not a level of trust there if you don’t believe them.
It may be worth speaking to the director. it sounds like you’ve had your older one there for some time and they should know that you have been previously happy with the center. These are very valid concerns and it sounds like you have specific examples you can point to (laying babies on the rug while they stand to the side and chat despite being short-staffed, for example). Easier said than done, though. I’m always hesitant to stir the pot at my child’s childcare.
I’m sorry, it’s always the worst when you realize you’re no longer comfortable with your childcare situation.
anon says
+1000.
PregLawyer says
Start looking! We pulled our son from his first daycare. Once I started questioning the facility, my mind ran wild. Your relationship with your daycare is built on trust, and once the trust starts to erode, it’s hard to get it back. It doesn’t hurt to start looking for other options.
Also, talk to the director.
Samantha says
+1 trust your gut.
I’m not concerned about the belly sleeping as much. With my second, I let her take brief naps on her belly while I was in the room (and checking her airways were clear) as she clearly slept better that way. It’s a probabilities game like Emily Oster would say.
But the caregiver indifference would be a deal breaker to me. Maybe get a feel of other nearby centers and home-based centers. Also try having a talk with the director expressing your concerns. If they feel you may pull baby out, the teachers may be galvanized into action.
Anon says
Your older child complicates the situation. However I pulled my son from his first daycare for similar reasons. He was 10 weeks old at the time, which definitely impacted my decision. The teachers were incredibly apathetic and the babies spent 95% of the time in baby containers or sitting/laying on the floor with minimal supervision while the teachers talked or openly played on their phones. I repeatedly saw them practicing unsafe sleeping habits (blankets in cribs, babies sleeping with bibs on, etc.). The breaking point was when one of his teachers put him to sleep on his side with a pillow propping up his head and then seemed genuinely baffled as to why I wouldn’t want her to continue to do that. I never considered complaining because I knew I would never feel safe leaving him there after I complained. I would like to think that a teacher wouldn’t retaliate on a baby, but I’m sure it happens. I could live with the baby containers, but the sleep habits were a safety issue, and I couldn’t live with that so we moved him to a new daycare.
GCA says
Ugh, I’m sorry. I would definitely raise your concerns with the director – I’d mention the ratio and unsafe sleeping. And perhaps talk about how much interaction you’d like there to be.
If your Bright Horizons is like ours, do they send photos during the day of the infants’ activities?
Was your older kid there from the time she was an infant, too? In other words, is this infant environment something that’s changed in the last couple of years?
POSITA says
My older daughter started as a 2 yo. I’ve found the quality of care to be really inconsistent between teachers and classrooms. I had a few issues with another teacher at the center that I did bring to the attention of the director (a teacher grabbing at and yelling at a young 2 yo). The director offered to watch the teacher more closely. I haven’t seen the problem again and that teacher is still there.
My biggest issue with the center is that a lot of the teachers are very apathetic. They just sit and chill all day while the kids do whatever. Not a safety issue, but not a great environment. It was a problem in the 2 yo class, but the 3 yo teacher is awesome. She keeps the kids super busy and my 3 yo loves school again.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t keep the younger child there hoping that after two years of mediocre teachers, the 3 year old teacher will still be there.
Anonymous says
I was iffy as I read down through your post until I got to the ratio issue. The ratio being so far off would be a huge concern for me, in addition to the total lack of interaction by the teachers.
If you can swing it, I’d do a Nanny and leave the three year old in daycare. If money is an issue, can you find a nanny share? If you’re doing a nanny on your own, can you drop the three year old to like three days a week so it’s less expensive? I say Nanny over dayhome because then you’re keeping it to one drop off. If you can afford Nanny and decide to keep older sister in full time daycare, I’d outsource drop off to the Nanny. That way you can get into the office earlier even when you leave home at the same time, so you don’t have to work as long.
Anonymous says
I’d also give it some more time. Fwiw, I love my daycare and the infant teachers are wonderful, but even they try to teach babies to hold their own bottles early and let them feed themselves. Something about more self-regulation of food intake and also independence. The ratio thing surprises me, the most. 2:12 is waaaay off from 1:3. The fact that there were extra people hanging out at the front desk and giving excuses about traffic instead of being pulled in as extra teachers temporarily seems parricularly strange. But none of what you described would be a deal-breaker for me, yet. Even the tummy sleeping, as long as the crib was free of blankets and stuffed animals, wouldn’t have bothered me too much, although I don’t think you’d be out of line to mention it to the director and confirm that the staff are instructed to always put babies to sleep on their backs.
Anonymous says
“The fact that there were extra people hanging out at the front desk and giving excuses about traffic instead of being pulled in as extra teachers temporarily seems parricularly strange.”
This! It’s not the fact that teachers got stuck in traffic – it’s the NBD attitude around a 2:12 ratio!
Anon says
+1000. I was only at a daycare for a short time, but we often saw different teachers at morning drop-off.
GCA says
I agree – at our center the director herself, as well as the level coordinators and even toddler / preschool teachers, have stepped in to help when there were temporary staffing hiccups. They don’t seem to have a sense of urgency around the ratio, which would concern me.
JayJay says
Late chiming in, but I also agree re the lack of urgency at the ration issue. I often see our director or other teachers filling in during drop off times to make sure they don’t get above the mandated ratio. I’d be concerned at their lack of concern. The fact that you have enough of a gut feeling to doubt the teacher’s answer about tummy sleeping, in conjunction with all the other issues you highlighted, might mean the end of that place for me.
Beth says
I’d report the ratio issue. Whenever staffing Hs been an issue, our centers (we’ve used 3 over the years) have back up plans, even if t means the director or a floater or a preschool teacher or heck even a parent. Where we are infant radio is 3:1/7:2 so 2/12 is a huge deal. If you are somewhere where it’s 10:2 then maybe it’s not as big a deal.
The tummy sleeping I’d let go, but I’m way more lax about tummy sleeping / where babies sleep (eg I’m fine if mine sleeps laying on a boppy at daycare, or in a bouncer, or swing. I let my oldest tummy sleep because that’s the only way she would.
AwayEmily says
I just made the call to move our seven-month-old to a new daycare for similar reasons (disorganization, chaos, general icky feeling, but nothing truly awful). It helped me to think of it less as a choice about HER and more a choice about ME. Intellectually I knew she was going to be fine either way. I never thought she was in physical danger or really even in danger of anything but being a bit bored. It sounds like you’re in a similar position. But I couldn’t help but worry, and I know myself well enough to know that I was going to keep being anxious/unhappy about the situation, which would not be healthy for me, her, or my work. So we made the call to move her — she won’t actually make the switch until January but I already feel SO much better. I visited the new place a couple of times (including at drop-off/pickup and during mealtimes so I could see it while it was at its worst) and talked to a bunch of parents and I think this will be a better fit for her and, just as importantly, for me.
Spirograph says
Honestly? If I were paying Bright Horizons prices (in my neighborhood, infant care is about $400/month more than the other comparable size centers), I’d demand pretty close to perfection! The ratio issue is shocking, and I’d mention that to the director for sure, as it could be a licensing problem for them. You could also say you’re concerned the teachers aren’t engaged enough with the babies, but I think that’s unlikely to change and you risk turning the teachers against you for bringing it up.
I loved our in-home daycare when my kids were under 2. It doesn’t solve your two drop-off problem, but it’s not a bad option if you feel too uncomfortable to stick with the current situation. Sorry, this sounds really frustrating. Childcare issues are the worst.
RDC says
We were at a bright horizons for the first few months with my son and were similarly unimpressed with the level of warmness and interaction. We didn’t have other issues so we would have stayed, but a space opened up at a more convenient center (a different major chain) and it ended up being so much better. Teachers are actively involved and affectionate toward the kids; planned activities every day (even in the infant rooms); generally just a better environment. I only mention this to say – despite the prices BH charges, it’s not necessarily the best and definitely possible to find better options. I think it’s worth looking around even if it eventually means moving your older daughter.
fwiw, I agree with the others who said the ratio and lack of urgency about ratios would be concerning to me, as well as the unengaged teachers.
POSITA says
Thanks all for the advice. It helps to know thar I’m not off base to be concerned. I need to start looking into other options.
Due in December says
Question about socks and shoes!
Socks: As the temperature drops, we are currently stuffing my 10-month-old’s [large] feet into 3-6 month old size socks. Which she then removes. So, I’d like to buy a bunch of interchangable white socks. Recommended brands? That stay on relatively well?
Shoes: Um, this seems like a simple questions, but when do I buy my kid shoes? She’s pulling up and standing but not walking…the walking thing will probably happen in the next few months. Wait until she’s actually walking? Now, because it’s getting colder and socks on the hardwood floors can be slippery (though daycare and home are primarily carpet)? Now, because maybe it will keep her from taking off her socks?
Due in December says
ETA: And what kind of shoes to start? Just the soft inside-only kind?
anon mom says
I found a 6 pack of grey socks at H&M with grippies on the bottom. They worked really well and we didn’t have to try to match socks. We put off buying shoes till kiddo was actually walking, then we got a pair of PediPeds.
Anon in NOVA says
I almost LOL-ed when I read your shoe question. Only because I remember how it felt to be like “am I really asking when a kid needs shoes? Is this another obvious thing I let slip through the cracks? Does everyone else magically know this stuff?” but yes, it is confusing. :-)
If you’re in the states, take your 10 month-old to a stride-rite store. It is going to be a little expensive, but they really do specialize in shoes for early walkers, etc. I personally think it’s really important that they have appropriately-sized, supportive footwear when they’re that young. They can get you the right size shoes that are appropriate for your child’s walking ability. By the time they’re walking, they’ll NEED shoes, so it’s best to get them used to wearing shoes before then.
I hope this helps.
Due in December says
Thank you, this does help!
And yes, I think of myself as an organized, research-oriented person, and yet since the baby was born I am constantly thinking things like, “oh sh*t, it’s getting cold, she doesn’t have socks! How can I be the only person who has failed to buy her child socks?”
quail says
I didn’t get my kid shoes until daycare was like, um, your kid needs shoes, please. He wasn’t walking yet but crawling around outside required something other than socks.
I’ve had good luck with Carter’s socks and Hanes (from Target) as both have grippies. I think the Hanes come in plain white though I stupidly bought the “cuter” colored set and now am missing half the socks. My kid outgrew the 12-24 month socks at 18 months (size 6 toddler shoe) so I’d bet that size might work for you.
JEB says
We also waited until daycare asked for shoes. My kid wasn’t walking yet, but there was a wood deck outside, and she’d pull herself up and walk along the rail. So they asked for shoes at that point. We got her soft Robeez and only really used them at daycare. Other than that, she was barefoot or in socks until she was walking.
(was) due in june says
Yep, Robeez at daycare, which she also wore outside because it was summer and so the ground was dry enough, until daycare asked for legit shoes. Barefoot only in the house.
GCA says
Socks: Buy a size up. Or two sizes up. Kiddo has been in 2T Old Navy socks since 12 months! The Old Navy ones work well because they roll down twice, so the lengths are adjustable to cover the pants gap.
As for shoes, our interim cold-weather solution was Skidders socks with the grippy bottoms (again, order a size up!). He grew right out of a pair of lovely, expensive Pedipeds before he was fully walking, and then I gave up and didn’t bother again till he was walking properly.
Anonymous says
Love wullyz or padraig slippers for chilly baby feet. They can go barefoot instead them. Great for when they’re learning to walk.
Closet Redux says
I recommend Robeez as “shoes.” They are leather-bottomed soft sole shoes which, if you end up falling in the barefoot is best for pre-walkers camp (and I’m sure there are valid arguments either way, but that’s where I came down) they are an awesome option for needing to provide a little coverage and warmth for a pre-walker. My kiddo had two pair and I plan to use them again for our second kid– we loved them! I think target has a knock-off brand, too– ministar?
MDMom says
Agree-get robeez or similar. My kid is 17 months and I wish he could still wear those. Unfortunately he’s outside too much now. But I think he trips over his comparatively bulky stride rites.
Anononymous says
My kiddo crawls around outside a bunch so we got shoes. We got her a pair of Robeez, but she pulled one off in the stroller and lost it. So we got her Old Navy canvas shoes (they have a stiff fabric bottom — not as soft as Robeez, but more flexible than a lot of shoes.) They were trashed instantly, but they mostly stay on and keep her from scraping her feet or tearing her socks. When she’s walking will probably get her Robeez fuzzy slippers for the house. And I’m considering Old Soles for outside.
PregLawyer says
Nordstrom does a great job with baby shoes, too! Lots of options, and they will size your kiddo and can recommend appropriate brands based on the shape of your kid’s feet.
H says
IME, the grippy socks aren’t very grippy. Slippers might work better? My son LOVES his slippers.
Momata says
I second the rec for the Old Navy socks that fold down. Whatever you do, buy only ONE KIND of socks. Pairing baby socks will drive you bananas. Also, I wash mine in a l!nger!e bag so they don’t get lost from being stuck to other pieces of laundry. They come out a little balled up but clean (enough).
I also didn’t get shoes until daycare said I had to.
Jdubs says
+1 for the Old Navy roll socks & a wash baggie!
PhilanthropyGirl says
For socks we went with Meijer brand Falls Creek socks – they fold down and are white or white with a colored stripe around the ankle. No grippy – but even with grippies on footed pjs, he still wipes out on our wood floors. I never had a problem with socks falling off/pulling off. We eventually reached the point we stopped obsessively color matching the stripes. If one is blue and one is green, we don’t care. Especially with long-pants weather upon us.
We had some little white crib shoes we used prior to walking for dress occasions (weddings, Easter, etc…), but bought first walkers when I knew his walking days were imminent – right around his first birthday. He only wore them when walking outside or non-residential buildings. Otherwise, I keep hearing barefoot is best.
I’ve always ordered online. I loved my MoMo Babys for first walkers – they are a bit on the wide side which was great for my large-footed child. Now he’s in Stride Rites, and his sneakers seem great, but I think his dress shoes are a bit narrow in the toe (they don’t look it on the outside).
anne-on says
Random thing – definitely get a wash bag for baby socks. Our washer had an obstruction in the drain. I was able to clear it (thanks youtube!) and inside the tube was 4 or 5 infant socks. It later died, and the repairman said baby socks and thongs are the two most likely things to be sucked inside a front loading washer in between the front of the tub and the gasket.
anon says
+1 even if you live in an apartment building – we lost so many socks in the bowels of the industrial dryers!
octagon says
I was waiting until I was done BF to start working on losing weight (I am 15-20 lbs higher than pre-preg weight). BF ended 2 weeks ago. I have cut calories in my diet since then but have gained 5 lbs in those 2 weeks.
Has this happened to anyone else? Is it hormones? At what point should I expect things to start to level out (or consult a doctor)?
Anonymous says
It will take as much as 6 months to return to normal. Your body is used to eating enough calories to maintain plus nurse so I’d give it at least a couple months of concerted effort on your part with no change in weight before seeing a doctor. Write down everything you eat and in what quantity.
If you took domperidone – my friend group ancedata is that it takes twice as long after you finish to lose the weight.
Pregnancy and nursing causes a lot of changes in the body – even your vision can take 6 months to settle out again afterwards.
CHJ says
+1. I gradually lost weight after I stopped BF’ing, but it was very, very gradual. I didn’t get back to a stable pre-pregnancy weight until 6 months after I stopped. My guess is that gaining 5 lbs in two weeks is hormonal/water weight, so I’d drink some green tea and try not to worry about it yet.
NewMomAnon says
My weight was all over the place from about 6 months postpartum until 2 years postpartum; I mostly weaned at a year but didn’t fully wean until 2 years out. 2 weeks post-weaning is not much time; your body could probably start nursing again if stimulated. You may also find hormonal swings from weaning cause mood issues for a month. Be gentle with yourself.
In House Counsel says
I agree that it may take a bit of time to lose the weight. Mine came off quicker with baby#1 — within about 3 months of weaning but with baby#2, its taken about 6 months and more consistent working out to see movement on the scale and in the fit of my clothes
anon says
I think that big a jump in 2 weeks is likely due to hormones or something. How many calories did you cut?
hoola hoopa says
I also think it could be hormonal, esp if you’re prone to weight fluctuations with your regular cycle.
But +1 to cutting calories. I also gained weight after weaning because I had really adjusted to the extra BF calories, so I had to rein it in.
anon says
OMG yes, I was not actively trying to loose that last 10 pounds, but I quickly put on 10 more. Sigh.
JEB says
Thoughts on an outdoor birthday party in mid-November in Northern Virginia? My kid will be turning two. I’m honestly too lazy to plan or spend much this year. I’d like to simply invite her friends to a park on a weekend, serve some pastries, fruit, and coffee/milk/hot chocolate, and call it a day. Is this too much of a gamble regarding the weather? Would you be annoyed to go to an outdoor party when it’s cold? I looked at the temperature averages, and it looks like the average low is mid-low 40s and the average high is mid-high 50s, and those numbers don’t seem to bad, assuming the weather doesn’t do anything crazy.
CHJ says
I think this is a nice idea. One thing my friends have done for similar parties is to have a rain date (usually the next day or the following week), and email everyone mid-week before the party if you need to change the date. I wouldn’t be annoyed to go to a party outside on a cold-ish fall day – it’s part of living in a four-seasons climate!
TBK says
Yes, it’s too late in the year. I wouldn’t be thrilled about committing to an outdoor party when the weather is such a gamble. Also not sure about how long you’re planning for it to last, but being outside on a playground for 30-40 min while my 2 year olds run off some energy is one thing, but being outside for 2-3 hours for a party is something totally different. I probably would RSVP “no” — sorry! (And I’m a New England transplant so probably more cold-tolerant than a lot of the Southerners in the area.)
octagon says
I’d be okay with it, but only for a short time (maybe 45 minutes max) and only if there is a warm place to go afterwards for the refreshments.
Can you find a park with shelters/rooms to rent? Or invite people back to your house for cocoa afterwards?
Spirograph says
Eh, I think it’s fine. I’m in the DC area too, and I love our fall weather. I’d make it clear that it’s a “we’ll be at the park with snacks between these times, please stop by to play!” kind of party, not a heavily planned one with Expectations, and then just have a fun, low key time with whoever comes out. Definitely have hot drinks available, though.
anon dc mom says
agree! kids still have to go to the park in the cold. have hot drinks and keep it short. sounds fun!
Anon in NOVA says
I’d look into the rec centers (Fairfax is your best bet- you can book/use them even if you aren’t a resident I believe) and see if you can rent a bit of gymnasium space or a workout room or something? You can have some balls, etc. for the kids to play with and give them the unstructured play time that a park would afford, but still have warm kiddos and parents! They offer a lot of relatively (by NOVA standards) affordable party packages at their different centers, as well. I’ve used one and had a really great experience. There’s a whole section of their website dedicated to parties.
SC says
I think it’s too cold to really enjoy a party, especially, as TBK says, a 2-3 hour party. If you can afford it, I’d have the party at an indoor place that does the majority of the planning for you. Or, if you have outdoor space, could you have the party at your house and rent a bounce house but allow kids and parents to go in and out?
You didn’t ask this, but you could also just not have a party for a 2-year-old if you don’t want to plan or spend much this year. This is the approach I’m advocating for our 2-year-old, although I haven’t convinced my husband yet. We had a 1-year-old party, which was mainly for us to celebrate. But right now, I’m thinking that our family and friends care much less about our son turning 2, and he won’t remember or even fully understand a party when he’s 2. Save your effort and money until he’s 3… or 4… or 5.
Anonymous says
+1 – I live in NOVA and have a kid with a November bday. Too risky to do it outdoors in my mind. How many people are coming to the party? When my kid turned 2 and we were still living in an apt, we just had a few friends over to our place to decorate cupcakes and play. Not really a party though, but I’m not sure a 2-year-old really needs or enjoys a big party.
Edna Mazur says
+1 We took our two year old to the zoo for his second birthday with his grandparents. N party, not overwhelming for him, low key for us, it was perfect.
RDC says
That sounds like the perfect party to me. We’d be at the park anyways so the cold isn’t really a concern unless it’s pouring or something. I’m all about low-key kid parties, though.
JEB says
Thanks for everyone’s thoughts on this! I thought about renting out a rec-center soft playroom – I’ll look into the Fairfax facilities. It’s still an option, but I don’t know that it’s important enough to me to spend the money (I think I’ll feel differently when she’s older and can actually remember the event). Unfortunately, I think our house is too small. Scrapping the party all together is also an option, as I’m not set on doing something. I agree that a two year old doesn’t need a party.
Our friends with kids have done the park thing for their 2 year olds’ parties. As a guest, it was nice to have a big, pre-planned playdate on the calendar…one less thing to figure out for the weekend. Also, with a park, entertainment for the kids really takes care of itself. So that’s why I was thinking I’d do something similar. Definitely not 2-3 hours! I’d probably have some snacks and warm drinks out, do a cake/singing around 30-40 minutes, and let things naturally die down. I really like the suggested language above (we’ll be there, stop by to play). I think I’m leaning towards scheduling something, and if it’s a bust, oh well.
Em says
We are having a party and the guest list includes 5 kids in the 2-5 year range. Any suggestions for affordable activities or toys I can get that can help entertain them for 3 hours?
Anon in NOVA says
Either Amazon or Oriental Trading has these large packs of sticker sheets, where one piece of paper is a “scene” and it comes with an entire sticker sheet that coordinates with the scene. For example, the paper may look like a cupcake bakery and the stickers include cupcakes, an oven, a chef, etc. I had a multi-pack that had a lot of different cute scenes and I remember it being relatively expensive. not sure if you’ll end up finding stickers stuck to odd things in your home later, though.
Google ideas for entertaining kids at weddings, I’m sure there’s a lot of creative ideas out there and it’s the same concept
H says
I love the sticker idea!
NewMomAnon says
A babysitter.
Closet Redux says
MY KINGDOM for an event with a babysitter. That would be amazing.
Em says
I would consider this if we had a place to separate them (or basement is basically an unfinished dungeon).
POSITA says
If you’re going to be outside, stomp rockets! Everyone loves them.
anon says
There is also a handheld version we just got as a favor at a 4YO birthday party. Awesome and okay inside!
SC says
Sidewalk chalk. Bubbles. If you’re close with one of the parents, ask the parent to bring some toys over before the party and help set up a play area.
anon says
Honestly I would consider setting up a TV with a movie, or have that as a backup plan. You really need toys to keep them busy for long – stickers/craft supplies might buy you 20 minutes (at least with my son). Can you invite each family to bring a toy that can be shared? Other ideas: Balloons are surprisingly versatile at this age. You could maybe get an inexpensive cardboard play house and washable markers for decorating it. Matchbox cars + a ramp made out of a board.
anon says
I should clarify that my response assumes you don’t have kids and toys already in your home. If you do, then no problem.
Maddie Ross says
A little tikes bounce house. It’s the best $120 we’ve ever spent.
PhilanthropyGirl says
Balloons. Seriously – my 2 YO son and my 3 YO nephew played with balloons for hours the weekend of my son’s birthday party.
ChiLaw says
Bubbles, balloons, balls, anything they can throw and chase outside!
Push on ride-able thingies like those Little Tykes cars and scooters.
For my kid, a lot of the thrill of visiting friends/going to a party is that there are NEW (to her) toys. Things that light up or make noises are always a hit (sigh).
One thought — some things that are great for 3, 4, and 5 year olds are problematic for 2 year olds like mine who will put EVERYTHING that might fit in her mouth right in there to check. So there were some cool googly eyeballs at the party we were at this weekend and I basically spent the whole party doing choking prevention. So the more baby-proofed things can be, the better for your parent-friends.
In House Lobbyist says
Can you pick out a craft that goes with the theme – Halloween/Thanksgiving/birthday or have coloring sheets you print off the internet? My kids also like the paint with water books where you just need a paintbrush and some water. Blocks or legos? Lots of snacks!
shortperson says
we hired someone who does mommy and me guitar at the local store where sahms hang out to come to the party. she brought instruments and sang songs with the kids, did fun bubble activities, parachute play, etc. it was <$100 in a HCOL. kept the kids busy and everyone happy.
lsw says
I’m preparing for my first time flying for work since having the baby. He’s 3.5 months. He is breastfed, and has no problem with a bottle when I’m not there. It’s a short trip (just over 24 hours), but I’m an overplanner, because it helps me feel less worried. What am I forgetting? Any helpful tips?
So far I have:
– booked a nonstop flight both ways even though it cost twice a much. They can afford it.
– prepped a frozen and fresh milk combo for caretaker/dad; resisted the urge to thaw way too much milk; tried to figure out how much he’d take by looking at how much I’ve been nursing outside of work
– planned to bring both manual and electric pumps, bottles and bags (I hate pumping into bags) small cooler with freezer packs
– asked hotel to put a fridge in my room
– printed out TSA regulations so I have the info if I need to refer to it
– checked out the locations of lactation rooms in both airports
– asked my husband to take videos and FaceTime with me, since babe just started laughing and smiling more and I’m unbelievably sad to miss this magical week
– actively tried not to worry about how the overnight is going to work out for baby and dad
I know I’m being a bit ridiculous, but…
JEB says
I just got the error upon posting, so I’m trying again. My apologies if this ends up posting twice!
The freezer packs may not freeze well in a hotel mini fridge. When I pumped and traveled, I’d bring lots of ziploc bags. I’d fill some with ice at the hotel and often re-fill at the airport and during layovers. If the ice isn’t completely frozen when you go through security, you can always dump it and get more from a restaurant on the other side. I usually layered my bags of milk with the bags of ice, and it was always nice and cold when I got home. I’d also line my little cooler with the hotel room laundry bag, which I started doing after an in-flight leak (thankfully, the ice leaked, not my milk!).
I thankfully never had any issues with TSA giving me trouble about carrying on my pumped milk, but I did have one instance where TSA didn’t close the milk-storage bag tightly after inspecting it. So re-check everything once you’re through security.
You may want to bring some supplies to wash your pump parts (although, for only 24 hours, I’d probably rinse and store them in the fridge).
Good luck!
GCA says
+1 washing supplies – I’ve travelled with a small bottle brush and a bit of Dr Bronner’s soap in an empty screw-top prescription bottle, and that worked out well.
i’m done pumping, but lining the cooler is a great idea! I used to stick a dish towel in there.
lsw says
Smart! These are both really helpful. Thanks!
(was) due in june says
I traveled a fair bit when nursing and pumping. My best tip is to give your ice pack to the bellman every night to freeze in the hotel freezer, and pick it up every morning, frozen totally solid.
Second tip is to bring a bunch of gallon size ziploc bags. Put pumped milk bags in the gallon ziploc bags, separated by date – this also helps avoid your milk bags having direct contact with that nasty TSA screening table when you get the secondary screening. Put clean parts in one ziploc bag. Put dirty parts in another ziploc bag. Extra ziploc bags to fill with ice if needed post-security, but using the hotel’s freezer always ensured my ice packs were 1000% frozen solid.
I also hated pumping into bags. I brought two big bottles, and pumped into those, and then transferred the milk into bags after pumping. Bring a sharpie to label the bags by date.
Bring travel size bottle of dish soap. An official travel bottle brush (oxo) would be cool but I used a dedicated clean toothbrush.
Bring a nursing cover in case you have to pump in odd locations. And a baby blanket to lay across your lap and catch drips.
Request a microwave in your room so you can use microwave steamer bags to sanitize.
Tell TSA when you’re in line that you have a) a pump b) a frozen ice block and c) milk. They handle it better if they’re not surprised by suspicious looking things on the xray. Allow PLENTY of time to get through security screening.
Samantha says
You’ll be fine. Really. You sound more than adequately prepared. Enjoy a full night’s sleep on soft white sheets! Enjoy waking up whenever the heck you want, and having breakfast in bed.
ChiLaw says
Definitely agree re: all the gallon ziplock bags! I used a combo of those and freezer packs that the hotel froze for me to keep stuff cold on long hauls. I pumped into bottles, poured into storage bags, put bags into freezer bags, and then double bagged it because why not.
Do you have a battery pack for your electric pump? Might be worth looking into.
Here’s some bad news re: airport pumping. Depending on what kind of set up it is, the fact that a lactation/pumping/whatever room exists doesn’t mean you’ll have access to it. Ask the woman who spent half an hour pounding on the door of the family restroom (that’s all that they had!) before giving up and pumping/sobbing in the handicapped stall so I could at least get something out before running to my next flight. Not telling you that to make you horrified, but if I had been more mentally prepared I think I would’ve handled that better.
Will you pump on the plane? I actually found it less horrible than the aforementioned bathroom stall. I gave the flight attendants a heads up that I would be pumping in the bathroom and it was totally fine.
RDC says
Also a hands free pumping bra and nursing cover, and a battery pack for your pump since not everywhere will have a plug. I didn’t want to pump in restrooms so I pumped sitting on the terminal floor and also on the plane in my seat (was super fortunate to have an empty seat besine me). No one even glanced at me twice.
lsw says
I thought I might manually pump if I have to on the plane. I don’t think I’ll have to, since it’s not a terribly long flight.
Pushy says
My 3 year old has developed a nasty habit of shoving/elbowing. Any good book recs? Her preschool teachers are on the lookout and this isn’t behavior she has with her siblings at home, just (mostly older) kids at school- she kind of pushes her way into situations instead of talking. Or shoves someone when they go to take her toy (vs using words). Is “hands are not for hitting” still good here even though
Her hands are more pushy/shove-y than hitting?
Anonymous says
What does she do with her siblings at home? Get her to role play using her words instead of pushing.
My kindergartener was astounded when I explained that she could say “Don’t color on my paper” to a kid in her class that was bugging her, just the same way as she does with her little brother. We role-played it a few times with switching roles back and forth for her to get comfortable using her voice.
At age three – give her a couple three word phrases to use/practice “Can I play too/I want to color/I want a doll too” etc
anon says
At my son’s preschool, they teach the kids to try to use words but if they need teacher intervention to resolve a conflict to put their hand up and yell, “I NEED TEACHER HELP” [or grown-up help]. It seems like a useful thing to practice since urgency for a resolution is the issue. But I would let the teachers worry about it if it is a school issue – I don’t think it is at all uncommon!
GCA says
Night weaning update: kid now has a cold; I have a cold; we are waiting until this (@#%& cold is over. Le sigh.
anon dc mom says
Need career advice – advice on mentoring programs?
My gov agency has a year long mentoring program that I am considering. While I am really happy at my current job, my goal would be to learn about other opportunities for the long term future. The drawback is that there is a considerable time commitment involved with the program and I am not sure if it would be worth my time.
Any experience with something like this?
Closet Redux says
Styling help: I am going to a new england wedding this weekend (in other words, it’s cold out–like 50degrees). The ceremony is outside and the reception is inside. I am 7 months pregnant and will be wearing a dress similar to the one at the link — navy, all over lace with lace long sleeves. My only maternity coat is a black puffer, which I do not feel comfortable wearing to the wedding. My plan instead is to wear a cognac brown leather jacket (open, obviously). I feel like leather and lace might look intentionally stylish, right? But what do I wear on my legs and feet? Nude nylons and heels? Cognac booties and tights? Recall of course that I am in my third trimester and will be walking on grass for the ceremony and sidewalks to get to the reception, so comfort and stability are key.
Closet Redux says
dress is similar to this: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ingrid-isabel-lace-maternity-dress/3844360?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=TRUE%20NAVY
AwayEmily says
Black tights and black booties or low heels. Black and navy is absolutely okay now.
Closet Redux says
even with a brown leather jacket? or should I scrap the jacket?
AwayEmily says
I think it’s more than fine, especially given that you will only be wearing the jacket during the ceremony. And leather jackets go with everything! you’ll look great (and very intentionally stylish)
Anonymous says
I vote flats, wedges, or booties and tights. Heels in grass are hard enough when you are not pregnant. I wore simple pointy black flats to fancy events in my 7 month of pregnancy and did not feel frumpy.
Closet Redux says
Good point. I am easily duped by people like Kate Middleton. I’m no Duchess!
ChiLaw says
I would wear pretty flats. You could go a lot of different ways — sparkly!? or just kind of elegant. But that’s what I would do. With cognac tights could be pretty.
But also, how about a faux fur stole on your shoulders for the ceremony? Wouldn’t that be fun? (Is this why I don’t get invited to more weddings?)
Closet Redux says
Faux fur stole would be fun but I am trying to shop my closet for these last few months!
anne-on says
Pretty flats and nude or fishnet stockings. Your feet will thank you for not attempting heels.
Closet Redux says
Fishnet with lace? I do not have a particular eye for fashion (hence the question)– is that a classic pairing?
hoola hoopa says
Definitely the booties and tights or nude hose. I don’t do heels for outdoor weddings any more, pregnant or not. Lawn (or cobblestone)+heel is just such a bad combo.
If the reception was more fancy than that, I’d wear nude hose and bring heels to change into for the party.
hoola hoopa says
Should say “…bring heels or cute flats to change into…”
Tired Mommy says
My first born turned three today and it is hitting me hard! Ugly crying in my office after writing him a letter about all the things he is up to these days. I have a six month old, so I don’t think I’m missing the baby so much. Just sad for some reason…
NewMomAnon says
I hear you! I keep referring to my daughter as 2.5, but someone corrected me this weekend and said, “Actually, isn’t she almost three?” It felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.
Three isn’t even “old,” but it means so many milestones have been hit already and so many sweet stages are gone. Having said that – I love the age my daughter is at now. She is curious, and helpful, and independent, and enthusiastic, starting to have opinions, but doesn’t yet have a mean bone in her body. It’s kind of wonderful.