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I have the most darling photo of my oldest wearing hikers similar to these on her first National Park trip.
If you’re looking to spend some family time in nature, these all-around hikers from Keen are perfect for your little ones. They work in wet and dry conditions, are comfortable year-round, and feature an easy-on, easy-off bungee closure.
Having seen my kids trash their sneakers on muddy or rocky trails, I consider these a sound investment. That pair from my oldest is ready and waiting for my youngest.
Keen Kids’ Newport Shoe is $54.95–$69.95 at Zappos. They’re available in toddler, little kid, and big kid sizes. They come in bison/black, black/original tie-dye, and steel grey/brilliant blue.
Sales of note for 3.28.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything plus extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off 2+ items; 40% off 1
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- Lands’ End – 10% off your order
- Loft – 50% off everything
- Nordstrom: Give $150 in gift cards, earn a $25 promo card (ends 3/31)
- Talbots – 40% off 1 item; 25% off everything else
- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off entire site
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all swim; up to 30% off HannaJams
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; 50% off select swim; 50% off kids’ styles
- Old Navy – 50% off Easter deals
- Target – 20% off Easter styles for all; up to 30% off kitchen & dining; BOGO 50% off shoes & slippers for the family;
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
I highly recommend low-top waterproof hiking shoes as everyday shoes for little kids. No more soaked sneakers from dewy grass on the playground.
Anonymous says
We got kiddo some Merrills for sneakers during the winter. It makes walking around outside easier during winter conditions when we don’t need boots but it is still wet or there is a little snow on the sidewalk/parking lots.
anon says
Our third second grade teacher quit this week. That’s three out of four. Is this happening at your schools? Our admin has been pretty quiet about why teachers are leaving. The three teachers that have left have given less than a week of notice. One teacher just gave a day of notice. The abruptness is really scary and makes my mind wander. What the eff is going on?
Anonymous says
In many places, teacher contracts are set up so they lose their license and/or their ability to get a new teaching job elsewhere if they quit in the middle of the year, so midyear resignations are unusual. This year, teachers are being treated so badly and are subject to such terrible working conditions that many are just quitting and leaving the profession altogether. In our district, teachers are unhappy because they are being asked to teach simultaneously in the classroom and over Zoom, the on-line learning management system that was hastily and poorly implemented ahead of schedule during the pandemic is a terrible hassle and requires them to rework all of their existing lesson plans, they are losing their planning periods to cover for absent teachers, they are subject to all sorts of verbal abuse from parents and administrators, and students refuse to wear their masks properly. Now they are even more unhappy because the school mask mandate has been rescinded and our governor has set up an e-mail hotline for parents to report teachers who are requiring masks in the classroom or are teaching “divisive” subjects. It’s just too much.
Anonymous says
This. My mom is in her last year of teaching and counting down the days until she can retire for all of these reasons. Pre-pandemic she was open to teaching longer, but she dropped her retirement paperwork as soon as she was eligible in 2021 because it’s just been one thing after another since March 2020. Teachers are in a no-win situation caught between angry parents, local/state government, and administrators who are trying to play all sides.
Anonymous says
Yup. I have two teacher relatives who are planning to retire this year the moment they are eligible. There are ripple effects too. I have a friend who I fear will quit teaching or find a teaching job out of state. I work with her husband and this would mean he would have to follow her.
Realist says
Yes. This is a brewing mass crisis for public education. Unless something big changes between now and the end of the school year, there will be a mass exodus this Summer as the ones who were just waiting to finish out the year quit.
Anon says
This. I think a student exodus will probably follow as parents with options decide to give their kids a better experience.
Kids and parents without options are going to suffer.
Anonymous says
It’s pretty obvious that teachers are being treated like garbage and their lives are being put in danger by parents who won’t vaccinate and mask their kids.
Anonymous says
This is what is going on:
https://cbs12.com/news/nation-world/va-teachers-react-to-governors-new-school-complaint-tip-line-why-are-you-vilifying-us
Mary Moo Cow says
Wow! This is not happening at my school, but it is a small, private school. I haven’t seen reports of teachers quitting in the public schools in the area.
Anon says
Our public schools aren’t having teacher retention issues either. However, we are one of the few school districts in the state where masks are required and where there is high vaccine uptake among kids and staff, so I think teachers here feel comparatively safe.
anon says
Same here. The teachers are still plenty stressed, what with all the student and staff absences, but we aren’t doing hybrid education and we do require masks. Vaccination rates are not what they should be. What’s happening in public education across the country is absolutely chilling, though.
anon OP says
OP here – we are in DC and masks are required for everyone, high vaccine rate, and weekly tests. I know this has been an insane year for our teachers, but its not like the crazy stuff that’s happening in Virginia and other states. We are a small, supportive community at our school.
NYCer says
Same here, we also have not had any teachers leave at my daughters’ schools. Even given the current state of affairs, three out of four teachers in a five month span seems incredibly high. I would be pressing the administration for more info.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t bother demanding more information. Administration won’t give it. If you really want an investigation, call in a tip to the local news. Or find out through the parent rumor mill.
Anonymous says
NYC public school teachers have an incredibly strong union that has been generally getting along with elected officials though. I doubt salaries and benefits are much higher anywhere else in the US.
OP – did she have young children? Many of my son’s teachers are working mothers too, and we all know how they have been getting squeezed. I would definitely question whether there is a problem with the school’s leadership if this is not happening all over your town though.
Anonymous says
This is going to be even more of a problem as mask mandates are dropped. Teachers’ kids are getting sick or are quarantined for exposure. Who is going to stay home with them?
anon - OP says
OP here – none of the three teachers that left have any children. They are fairly young, newer teachers with less than 5 years of teaching experience, so I think it was easier for them to leave. I am just shocked at how they are abandoning our community mid-year. One teacher left a week before thanksgiving, didn’t even wait till the break and left our admin scrambling.
Anonymous says
I think your blame is misplaced here. When you have repeated sudden departures it’s not about the individual employees’ disloyalty. There is a systemic issue going on. If they were all young women I’d be suspicious about harassment.
anon OP says
OP here again! To anon at 10:49am – you’re totally right and expressed what I was trying to say. I am afraid of a larger, systemic problem within the school that’s making these awesome and hardworking teachers leave without notice.
Realist says
Agree, repeated and quick departures is a system problem not an individual teacher problem. Agree with looking into harassment for young women (could be a parent or someone in the school). Could also be something else, like a particular problem with the classroom (such as a severe maintenance issue). But something beyond the individual teachers is going on.
Anonymous says
Wow, what? That’s breach of contract around here (MA, public schools). Barring Major Unexpected Life Circumstances it never happens. Teachers absolutely leave over the summer, but never mid-year.
So Anon says
If someone is leaving the profession entirely, they are unlikely to care about breaching a contract. You cannot force someone to work. The district could try and go for damages but that would be unlikely to help if that district is having trouble keeping teachers.
Anon says
Former teacher here. Leaving mid-year doesn’t happen a lot but it happens. I was more in an administrative role but under contract and I left no problem. Colleagues in teaching roles have left for different positions at other school districts.
Anonymous says
If I weren’t allowed to use the bathroom during the workday (true story from our school), I would not care about breaching a contract.
Anonymous says
It’s not just teachers. The bus driver shortage is so bad here that the buses are doing double-back runs. Our bus has been 20 minutes or more late to school every day this month. I have given up on the bus and am doing drop-off and pickup myself, which takes up 1.5 hours per day that I really don’t have.
Cornellian says
I have a couple teacher friends that have quit this year. I think it’s a combo of super poor pay, no coverage, no respect, and a feeling like they’re unable to protect themselves or the kids from COVID. A friend of mine from high school was asked to “teach” 90 unmasked kids in a classroom for 30 routinely. I am very scared for the next few years in public education (and nursing!)
Boston Legal Eagle says
And daycares. We’re on our third or fourth daycare director – they all keep leaving with less a week’s notice. And there is still a staff shortage so our hours are still limited. This is what happens when you don’t financially value these professions.
Realist says
In all seriousness, what are we going to do about this? The pandemic does not appear to be going away anytime soon. What we are doing right now is not sustainable for even 2 more years and I think even that timeline might be optimistic unless we can get a more variant-proof, longer lasting booster rolled out before then.
Anonymous says
To me it’s looking like after the omicron surge we will do away with quarantines for exposure, mask requirements, and possibly even isolation for infected people, and these precautions won’t be reinstated during the next surge. This will cause some day cares to close permanently for lack of staff, reducing the availability of child care and driving up its cost. There is a lot of rhetoric about “learning to live with the virus” that is code for giving up rather than coming up with a sustainable, adaptable long-term plan for implementing and easing up on precautions as conditions warrant.
Realist says
This is the strategy I am really worried about.
Anon @12:04 says
Annnd I just got the email from the school that we are abandoning masks and contact tracing effective Monday. Our metro area looked like it had peaked about 3 weeks ago, but there has been an uptick over the past week. This will go well.
Anon says
I think this is basically the steady state situation for at least the next decade, at least in terms of cases; hospitalizations and deaths should continue decreasing as the number of immunologically naive people keeps going down. Basically everyone in the world now has some level of immunity from infection and/or vaccination, so it’s not like we’re just going to magically get herd immunity at some point in the next several years. It will probably become even more seasonal than it is currently, though.
Anonymous says
Infection rates, hospitalizations, and deaths depend a lot on how durable immunity from a previous infection turns out to be. I think the policy response is a different story. There just isn’t any will to do anything other than continue screwing over moms and families.
Realist says
I sort of agree, but this is not steady state because what we are doing right now is so unsustainable for so many of us. So we are on the road to a steady state of no public education, only a few very privileged working moms, etc. I find that unacceptable.
Anon at 12:08 says
I meant more steady state in terms of virus spread. I think schools will basically be treating it like any other virus (no quarantines, etc) by at least next fall. I’m not really convinced all the quarantining has any benefit anyway, and certainly it doesn’t seem like it has a benefit that’s commensurate with the significant cost to kids and working mothers. I personally wish we could keep masks indefinitely, because I view that as a low cost, high reward intervention (especially with recent studies that viral load is a big factor in how sick you get), but many people apparently disagree so I expect those to be a thing of the past soon too.
Anon says
Send a nice email to your kids teacher every once in a while (DS loved the lesson on xyz, thanks for helping DD with xyz, the project you assigned was cool, etc). Send in a $10 gift card just because. It seems small but it makes teaching worth it sometimes.
Anonymous says
Be nice to administrators, too, because their mood affects how they treat teachers. A lot of them are super stressed out from spending all their time on contact tracing. When I get the call I always thank them for what they are doing; I get the impression that most parents yell at them.
Anon says
We need to move on from the “vaccines only”/”pandemic of the unvaccinated” response and get serious about leveraging mitigation measures that work to flatten the curve during waves. We need to take advantage of low percent positivity when it happens, so that people don’t burn out on mitigation measures when they’re not as needed. We need to admit that herd immunity isn’t on the table and that “endemic” COVID-19 would not involve a return to normal. And since we botched the last vaccine roll out by not pairing it with serious suppression efforts, we may need to try again with a new vaccine.
I would argue that we also need to be expanding our hospital capacity by paying staff more and treating them better, instead of bleeding qualified healthcare workers by cutting their pay and treating them like they’re expendable.
Realist says
Yes. This is what I am talking about. If we are going to live with the virus, I really need to see a better plan than “Suck it up, moms, teachers, nurses, doctors, immune-compromised folks, etc, this is life now.”
Realist says
Yes, this is what I’m talking about. I really need to see a better plan than “Suck it up moms, teachers, nurses, doctors, and the immune-compromised. This is life now.”
Sorry if I’m repeating an earlier comment that I think just got eaten.
Anonymous says
Amen. We need strong public health leadership to get on top of responsive mitigation strategies.
Anon says
So it might sound like a conspiracy theory, but I want to mention that there is a coordinated conservative attack on public schools. The desired result is shifting funds towards charter and private schools, and the likely result is increased inequality. It is playing out with mask mandate removals and book bans and in the lack of support for teachers.
Anonymous says
Exactly. Case in point: the election of Glenn Youngkin and his actions so far as VA governor.
Anon says
I believe this is true but also that it is working.
Anon says
Not a conspiracy theory. This is for sure happening.
anonM says
I’m so happy to see these featured! We do keen shoes for winter and keen sandals for summer. I freaking love them and they’ve held up well for both kids. Team no flip flops for kids!
Anonymous says
I should have bought Keen stock, b/c their shoes are fantastic. These in particular and also their hiking boots. I easily get 2-kids’ worth of wear out of each pair.
anon says
I love Keens. Sadly, my middle schooler has decided he’s now too cool to wear them, but I have such happy memories of our yearly Keen purchases! Agree on banning flip-flops for kids. Hate the things.
TheElms says
Ha ha, jokes on me. I know this is a big issue in the DC area and I still managed to mess it up. My kid’s preschool sent out the summer camp registration email yesterday afternoon and I missed it (they didn’t announce beforehand that it was coming). By this morning all the sessions are full. Its fine and we’ll be able to figure something else out. My husband who didn’t grow up here is experiencing utter disbelief that this is the way it is.
Anon says
I think this is how it is everywhere. I live in a small town in the Midwest and all the halfway decent summer camps fill the same day the registration goes live.
Anonymous says
This is how it is in our midsize city too. You have to know what day and time registration goes live for each camp, have your selections planned out in advance, click “refresh” constantly around the go-live time, and type fast. It’s like trying to book Hamilton tickets a few years ago, or a campsite at Yosemite. This is an advantage of having kids in full-day, year-round day care instead of preschool.
anon says
Yup, same. Gotta get my kid into Hogwarts; I’m gonna start cracking my knuckles and stretching now.
Anonymous says
My kid actually went to Hogwarts! Our YMCA camp did a whole week where they put a walkie talkie in a sorting hat and sorted the kids into houses, played quidditch, brewed potions, and had a house cup competition. Before camp started they got an admission letter and packing list from the headmistress via owl post. It was absolutely worth clicking refresh 47 times to be the first to register.
Mary Moo Cow says
Ugh. We’re in a weird year where older kid is old enough for summer camps but younger child isn’t old enough (pre-k) so DH doesn’t want to deal with the logistics/meltowns of the kid who has to go to camp instead of staying with grandparents. We’re considering a mother’s helper to come in a few days a week because we’re both working from home at least part-time. Anyone done this and want to weigh in?
Anonymous says
This is puzzling–I’d expect the one who didn’t get to go to camp to complain, not the one who got to go to camp.
Anon says
I don’t think it’s that weird. If the choice is between grandparents and camp, my kid and many others I know would choose grandparents.
Anon says
my kid never wants to leave the house basically so I’m in the same boat as OR.
NYCer says
My kid would definitely pick staying home with grandparents/us too.
anon says
Are there no preK camp options? Where I am summer camp starts at 3.5, so any kid who was old enough for preK the previous year (aka 3 or 4 by Sept 1) will be over 3.5 by June.
octagon says
Hi, same. Our preferred camp opens registration on 2/1 and they only have a handful of spaces left for non-returning campers. I’m over the summer already and it’s still January.
So Anon says
Same here in northern New England. One of our preferred camps opened spots at noon on a Monday, and spots for my youngest (8) were filled within 4 minutes. I was primed and ready ahead of noon, and still didn’t get her a spot. I did manage to get a spot for my oldest who will be 11.
Anonymous says
I registered my kids in September for summer camp. Reg opened at 12 and my friend registered at 12:15 and got waitlist.
Wtf.
Anon says
Has anyone self-referred their infant to early intervention and can speak to how that works and what to expect? DS hasn’t really missed milestones to the point where the pediatrician is concerned. However, we and daycare have noticed some core weakness that seems like it is going to prevent him from crawling, etc. on time. DS was 4 weeks early and had really bad reflux as a younger infant- -both of which we think are contributing to his core weakness.
Anon says
In my state, early intervention is a public service you access directly, you don’t need a pediatrician’s referral. That said, it sounds to me like you may be borrowing trouble. Crawling isn’t an official milestone, and kids develop on different timelines, preemies especially often develop more along the lines of their adjusted age. And some kids just naturally aren’t that physically strong – it doesn’t mean they need EI.
Anon says
I self-referred my 1-year-old for speech therapy and physical therapy. It was easy. I felt like my pediatrician was being a bit more lax about things than I was comfortable with, so I reached out to my local Infants and Toddlers program. They had me fill out forms and then did an evaluation via video call (this was in 2020). By the time all of that was scheduled, which took a long time because it started right before the 2020 lockdown, my concerns about physical therapy were gone, but we went forward with the speech evaluation and my daughter qualified for speech therapy. All her therapy was virtual, though, and I felt like it made little to no difference from what I was already doing but YMMV.
Maisel says
Not exactly – but my daughter is visually impaired and when we found out (but before we had an official diagnosis) our pediatrician agreed to refer to physical and occupational therapy even though she wasn’t technically “missing” milestones yet (she was only 4 months old) as a preventive measure. Even if your pediatrician isn’t concerned yet as you note, they may be willing to make a referral (if going through private insurance or paying out of pocket is an option for you). Once we got her diagnosis, she started early intervention sponsored by the state, but this was set up through another agency that works with visually impaired children, so I don’t have tips for navigating that process on an individual basis.
Anonymous says
Yeh you don’t need a referral. My personal agreed my daughter need an evaluation for speech but she just said “here’s the number”. Infants and toddlers is free! Call them up.
Anonymous says
I’ve requested an evaluation for all three of my foster kiddos. The evaluation is usually useful. Only one of mine qualified for services (PT) and it ended up not being the right fit for my baby for versions reasons, but I’m glad we tried it (we kept up with services for six months). Keep in mind early intervention may also determine your child doesn’t need services. If they say that, you should trust them. But no harm in requesting an evaluation.
Anon says
Not infant, but toddler, and it’s a fairly straightforward/easy thing to get rolling. You can Google or ask your ped for the number to call. We didn’t qualify, though (in NY the bar is pretty high since there are so many kids/limited resources).
Unsolicited advice: In the meantime, make a concerted effort to give your baby tons of floor time. No bouncers, no sit-me-up-seats, no containers – lots of floor time when not being held. I did this with my current baby and his motor skills and ability to be content on the floor/play independently have far surpassed my other kids. Lots of factors at play, but giving free reign for movement absolutely helps most kids
FVNC says
I’ve been meaning to thank those posters that recommended some great stocking stuffers last month. Kanoodle, scotch tape and bandaids have been such big hits! Honestly, the tape is probably the best — now, they don’t have to ask me for it (we keep ours out of reach because they use so much!) and I don’t have to be annoyed that they’re “wasting” it! Love this community for the big and little things :)
Cb says
Washi tape and a pack of blank postcards has been a lifesaver this week. We have been doing washi tape art. We have been writing cards to people which has been a nice treat.
SC says
I probably suggested the Kanoodle–I’m so glad it’s been a hit with your kids too!
anonamama says
Childcare wordle is too depressing to attempt; it’s January 74th and I would love to hear some hilarious things your kids are saying, or some classics. I’ve got a good one — upon seeing a picture of Raffi holding a guitar on the back of a book, 2yo goes “Who’s that naked guy?”
Cb says
We are on day 3 out this month. My son’s nursery is doing all things Scottish this month – it’s part of “citizenship” education. He comes home talking about tartan, different Scottish words (and how his American mom says them wrong), Robert Burns “a Scottish poet, mama” and Highland games. Today, we did caber tossing and tug of war with household objects. We haven’t been to a wedding so he hasn’t gotten to wear a kilt yet.
Anonymous says
Heartwarming rather than hilarious, but my birthday is coming up, and yesterday at dinner my husband was soliciting guesses from the kids of what mommy would like for her birthday.
“Nice, pleasant kids!”
“We clean our room! And the whole house!”
“Something joyful!”
Bean74 says
My kid is super into making up jokes right now. Yesterday’s best was “Why did the fork flush the toilet? Because he pooped cinnamon!!” Cue maniacal laughter. ??♀️
Also, Sing 2 was a huge hit in our house and the soundtrack has been on repeat. Hearing a five-year-old sing “My name is who? My name is what? My name is chicka chicka Slim Shady” is hilarious. As is watching him dance around to “Let’s Go Crazy.”
Boston Legal Eagle says
We got a rumba and when it was first starting to go around our rooms, our kids would scream when it got near them and said “It’s coming….run for your lives!” It really is a smart robot.
SC says
We took my son for an MRI yesterday afternoon. It was being done under sedation. When the CRNA came in, he asked questions to confirm the patient’s identity. (Details changed, obviously.)
CRNA: “What’s your name?”
Kid: “Joe Smith”
CRNA: “What’s your birthday”
Kid: “August 15”
CRNA: “And what year, buddy?”
Kid: “Oh, you can just look on the bracelet. It’s all on there.” [Goes back to ipad.]
Anon says
DD (4) wasn’t sleepy, so she (while we were sleeping) got her tablet out of our room, ran that down to zero, and then took herself downstairs to watch PBSkids on her school-issued laptop (which we only have so she can get speech therapy virtually if schools go back to that) and then sometime before 3AM crawled in our bed, which is when DH woke up to find her sleeping there and the laptop open and still playing downstairs. When asked she said she was “sneaky like a ninja!” very proudly.
Anon says
how bad of an idea is it to get fabric chairs in our kitchen with two kids? our decorator keeps insisting that the fabric will just wipe off, but it makes me kind of nervous…
Anonymous says
After dealing with rush-seated chairs that are impossible to clean and shed little bits everywhere as they get worn out, I will never again buy any kitchen chairs with seats other than wood, kids or not.
Cb says
We have bar stools in the kitchen and the pads get so so mucky. They are just ikea so I feel ok throwing them in the wash twice a week. I wouldn’t want anything unwashable.
Anonymous says
We had washable fabric covers pre-kids and I still didn’t like how dirty they got. Solid-surface chairs only for me.
Mary Moo Cow says
How low are your standards? I have white fabric Parsons chairs in the dining room, and they were stained with Nutella 2 weeks after I got them. I cleaned them, but meh. The black dog hair is also visible. I put up with it because I really like the look, but I have had to lower my standards.
Allie says
A very bad idea. Our *wood* chairs have somehow managed to get gross despite diligent clean up.
Cornellian says
I think your decorator is wrong. If you don’t care about the aesthetics you can probably get those elastic washable covers for the kids’ chairs, but I would probably skip that whole thing.
anon says
I would not do it. Even with older kids. We have some faux leather stuff that I’m wiping off constantly. And thank goodness; you can’t wipe fabric.
ElisaR says
we just had our fabric seated kitchen chairs (WHICH WERE NAAAASTY) reupholstered w/ faux leather stuff. amazing. game changer. wish i did it sooner.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 – our kitchen island is faux leather and it’s wiped off 2-3x/daily with soapy water.
Anne-on says
I swear any decorator who recommends this obviously has never worked with young kids before OR they are POOPCUPs
We have cycled through metal, acrylic, and woven (rush) chairs. I like the wood woven ones we have at our kitchen table the least as the woven rush is harder to get crud out of but not impossible. My husband hated the metal bar stools but they were super indestructable and I love them. The acrylic bar stools we have are the Cb2 chiaro stools, and I am truly in disbelief at the amount of gunk I wipe off of our acrylic stools after meals, I swear kids turn into octopuses when eating.
OP says
no she has two kids and a big dogs who she say says are quite messy! she says that fabrics have come a long way in the past two years and that you can wipe them with a wet wipe, but i am skeptical
anon says
Then her bar stools/chairs are just a lot grosser than I’d be willing to deal with. Wipeable all the way.
Anon says
Or they just don’t care? We have fabric chairs in our dining room and an extremely messy 4 year old. The chairs aren’t perfect but I just really don’t have the energy to care. I’m not entering my home in a beauty pageant any time soon.
Anon says
What kind of fabric is it? I think something like sunbrella would be ok but I wouldn’t do most fabrics. Probably easier to avoid it by getting a different type of chair.
Anonymous says
We have fabric dining chairs and white fabric stools. We covered kiddo’s chair when she was younger. Her stool is also covered, but we rarely eat at the stools. The dining chairs are black fabric, so maybe that helps. Only the seat is fabric. The rest is wood. We bought them about 10 years before we had a kiddo. They’ll likely get replaced when kiddo hits middle school. Right now they don’t bother me. They have to be spot cleaned from time to time, but they’re really not bad. Maybe because they are black, and definitely becuase it was covered until she was at least 4. The white stools are a new purchase. My husband was skeptical, but I absolutely love them, the fabric is a performance fabric meant for kitchens, and I can afford to replace one if it gets ruined. But I don’t plan on ruining them. We’re smart about how we use them.
anon says
I love the look of chairs with fabric seats, husband (rightly) was concerned about our messy young kids. So we found a table/chairs set with a wooden bench on one side and wooden chairs with fabric seats for the other sides. I guess it’s more of a dining table than a kitchen table in that it’s a 6 person table, with a leaf that can be inserted to expand to seat 8, but it’s the right scale for our Texas-sized kitchen/great room. The kids sit on the wooden bench, adults on the chairs, and it’s worked out great so far.
Anonymous says
Even if the fabric doesn’t stain easily, it will never be easier to clean than a hard surface. I wouldn’t do it. There are plenty of nice looking chairs that aren’t fabric.
AwayEmily says
We have fabric chairs for the adults (they are a lot more comfortable) and the kids sit in Tripp-Trapps.
Anon says
My in-laws raised 5 kids and now have 17 grandkids and they have fabric chairs and a rug under the table (that, as I understand, have all been in use a Very Long Time) and they are still in fine condition. I don’t understand how but apparently some people have the magic
SC says
I covered my kitchen chair seats with vinyl that looks woven. It looks like fabric from the living room, and it wipes clean really easily. I could recover for about $50 and a couple hours of time when we’re ready for a change.
So Anon says
Does anyone have a recommendation for a decent – not looking for top of the line – laptop that will be used for school and gaming for a tween? He is adamantly anti-apple because it is incompatible with Minecraft java edition. I have no idea what I’m looking for, and little dude’s birthday is around the corner. (I’m fine if it takes some time to come in.)
Anonymous says
I’ve had good luck chatting the people at NewEgg for recommendations, especially since it sounds like you have an idea of what you need. They’ve never tried to upsell me. Good luck! Laptop shopping is overwhelming to me.
Anon says
I like HP laptops. The Envy with a solid state drive is as much computer as I will ever need, but there are sub-Envy models that are cheaper. You may be surprised at the specs recommended for gaming. I think it’s worth it to get something physically robust (if you’re shopping in person, this is easy to assess, but if you’re online, you may want to check reviews on cheaper machines since you won’t want something delicate for a tween).
Anonymous says
My son runs Minecraft Java edition on an old Mac.
Anon says
Having been in a relationship with a “gaming”/computer guy for the past 20 years, you should probably do some research into what your son’s games really need in terms of system requirements to run properly. Depending on what he’s playing, he may not really need a “gaming” laptop, which tend to be expensive. For example, Wirecutter’s “best cheap gaming laptop” goes for over $1,300. If you don’t go for an actual gaming laptop, I have learned that most games run best if the PC has a separate video card (aka, not integrated graphics) and a good amount of RAM. But from a couple min of poking around, if your kid really just wants to play minecraft, I don’t think you need a “gaming” system.
Spirograph says
All of this. Also, if it doesn’t really need to be portable, your son might get a kick out of building a computer. It’s not necessarily a money-saving proposition depending on the components, and there might be some frustration involved for a first-timer, but my 8 year old loved “helping” build his PC.
Cornellian says
I’m not sure what exactly I’m asking, but I’m really struggling with the emotional aspects of parenting and am not sure what to do. My son just turned five, and has lived with me (sans dad) for three years. He’s generally a pretty well-adjusted kid, I think, no known developmental or emotional issues. Dad is not a monster, but is a selfish incompetent mess and hasn’t ever had son for even an overnight. Most of the time he sees him for a few hours a couple times a week, but there have been 1-3 week periods he hasn’t, or has forgotten him at school, etc. I have, say, 90-95% custody.
In the last six months or so, my son has started saying really hurtful things to me about how he loves daddy more, I’m no fun, he wishes it was Thursday so he could see dad, etc. I’m trying not to be reactive, but it’s hard and wearing on me. I spent a year keeping him home full-time and working full-time during COVID and I think it’s maybe permanently damaged our relationship. I’m the distracted boring parent who does all the doctors’ appointments and haircuts and makes him wipe his butt and wash his hair and brush his teeth, and dad is the treat who has no concept of any of that and is just “fun”. I’m tired and hurt and it’s starting to affect my parenting more, which is a bit of a vicious cycle. I think I do fun things with my son… we built an e-bike seat together so I could bike him to school, we go camping 5 or 8 times a year, we go out to restaurants occasionally, I plan birthday parties, etc. But it feels like it’s never enough.
Are there parent therapists? Is there a way for me to reframe this? Will he stop soon?!
anon says
My heart breaks for you. FWIW, I think this is a fairly common dynamic with “Disney dads.” Of course they can be fun; they don’t do any of the real work. I have no advice other than to hang in there, and try not to take it personally because a 5-year-old’s opinion doesn’t usually match reality. If you feel like therapy would be helpful for reframing, no shame in doing it.
Cornellian says
Yeah, I hate the “fun dad” “nagging mom” trope so much, and now here I am living it.
Anon says
so you could talk about this with a therapist. i do not think this means that he actually loves his dad more. we are a two parent household and my kids sometimes say that they love one parent more than another. he is probably testing to see what happens when he says that -like do you love him less bc he says that (obviously not). i totally totally understand that it is very hurtful to hear and SO much easier said than done, but try not to take it personally. how do you respond when he says that? you might say something like “i’m sorry to hear you feel that way. i still love you very much” and move onto something else or another sentence you could add is “it sounds like you are mad about something, do you want to talk about it” etc. sending hugs. you are doing a great job!
Anon. says
Agreed. Definitely find a therapist to help you process because it hurts. It might not make it hurt less, but this also sounds totally normal to me. My not quite 5 year old who lives in a two parent home with a dad who does lots of no fun stuff also routinely tells me he loves Daddy more, he doesn’t love me, has a shrieking fit about me doing bedtime routine instead. I try very hard not to react at all to his face and nonchalantly respond. (And privately vent if I need to)
Cornellian says
Thanks. I think part of my concern is that kid is picking up the approach that he needs to sort of parent his dad (being a child seems to be all dad is capable of). So, for example, I’ll ask him where his water bottle is and he’ll be like “oh, I forgot to remind my dad so he could give me water” or “you have to be his boss and tell him to do things”. I’m not sure how to have a conversation around that being inappropriate, especially without coming down on his beloved dad.
Anon says
I’m sorry, that sounds so hard. I’m married but we have a good cop, bad cop dynamic when it comes to parenting. It’s less extreme than your situation, but my 4 year old has started to talk about how he’s more fun than me, how she’d rather spend time with him, etc. I get it – he is the fun dad who just plays and goofs around and I’m the mean mommy who makes her do her chores and do things she wants to do – but it’s definitely hard to hear. There are family therapists, but I think this is something you could definitely discuss with a regular therapist.
Anon says
*makes her do things she doesn’t want to do
Cornellian says
It seems like 4 is about the right age? I don’t want to be the “agent of no” for my kid while dad does all the fun stuff.
So Anon says
First, this is hard and you deserve all the support. Single-parenting during the pandemic is no joke, and it is amazing that you are still putting one foot in front of the other. In regular times, being the parent who does all of the “life” things seems a heck of a lot less glamorous than getting to be the “fun” parent. During covid, when I am guessing that you are also the one always making the risk calculations, school decisions, medical decisions, etc., it feels like just too much. Then you pile on a kid who says things like he wants to spend more time with dad? Its enough to make you want to hide under the covers permanently. Ask me how I know.
Yes, there are therapists out there who can absolutely help you reframe this and respond to your son’s comments in a positive way. My therapist is a key support to me. I’m in a very similar boat. My two kids are 8 and 10, and their dad sees them every other weekend from Saturday morning to Sunday early afternoon. He is not involved in the day-to-day grind of parenting.
From my perspective and experience, try as much as you can not to take your son’s comments about wanting to spend time with his dad personally. I know that can be easier said than done. You are doing enough, and you are being the rock solid parent that your child needs. He is not capable of seeing that now, but some day, I am confident that your child (and mine) will look back and see that we were there for them day in and day out. In addition to the fun trips, I am also the one who holds my daughter as she cries because her big brother is now enjoying his friends more or comforts my son after a bad dream. I am the one who knows that my son is getting better at playing trombone because I hear it every night. I know it sounds kind of corny, but I reframe it from “I am the one who has to ___” to “I am the one who gets to be present for my kids.” I get to see and know them as the amazing people that they are. I also know that they hold it together for their dad, and I see the real people – the good, the bad, the hilarious. I also lose my temper and they see a real person parenting them, which I think is equally valuable.
My son adores his dad and will make comments about how he can’t wait to see him. I encourage that love and also know that it is highly likely that their dad will let them down. I grit my teeth or scream in my car. My daughter honestly doesn’t care about her dad. I view my job as being the solid person in their lives. Also, as a daughter to a single parent, I also want to make sure that they know that my life is bigger than only my kids. So I have other things that are part of who I am too and are important to me – my job, my friendships, running so I don’t completely loose it. That kind of thing. Hang in there. This is hard and you are doing great.
Cornellian says
Thanks, that was really helpful to read.
Like I mentioned before I think one harder-to-articulate item that is bothering me is that my XH constantly places himself in the child position in the parent-child dynamic. He does it with his mom (who, despite xh being nearly 40, sent him a car, sends him toys so our son can have some), he did it with me, and he seems to be doing it with our preschooler. Son is starting to say things indicating he thinks it’s my or his job to make sure that his dad feeds or remembers where his camp is or whatever. I don’t know how to stop that on my side, and I don’t want to throw dad under the bus making my point.
Anonymous says
This seems like the perfect question for a therapist with experience working with divorced parents. You are wise to avoid throwing his dad under the bus, and an expert may be able to give you some language to make that easier.
Also, didn’t you recently remarry? That may be playing into the dynamic as well.
Cornellian says
I did, and I’ve also considered that. But nothing has changed in his day-to-day and he never targets new husband or talks about him to me. Something to keep considering, for sure.
So Anon says
Ugh. I can relate to this. My ex constantly acts like he needs someone to take care of him. It is why my kids are with me for at least one solid meal per day (Saturday breakfast and Sunday dinner). It sounds like your kiddo isn’t with his dad for too long of stretches, so I would do what you can before and after to make sure that your child is fed. Do you use a parenting app? There are free options, and you can put your child’s calendar/events on the calendar. That way your ex is going to the app and not you or your child for this info.
Cornellian says
I am so sorry, I hate this for us.
OMG just yesterday my ex was like “why are [son’s]eyes dilated?” and I was like he was at the eye doctor (for the fifth time in two months). I put the time and the date of appointment in our shared google calendar. And he was like “Well you didn’t remind me!” I truly think he thinks that I as his ex wife should be calling him 20 minutes before every appointment and school pick up and reminding him how to get there. It’s wild. I’m half hoping he gets fired and has to go live with his mom.
So Anon says
I can so relate. You put it on the calendar, which is the extent of your obligation to notify your ex of the comings and goings of your son. Once you do that, repeat to yourself, “its not my job.” If Xh confronts with a “you didn’t tell me?!” I would respond calmly with “it’s on the calendar” and not do more than that. I highly recommend looking into parallel parenting and BIFF communication responses. It has helped me to take the emotion out of it when I want to scream, “can you just be a minimally competent adult?!” and I turn that into a thumbs up emoji. Then go scream into a pillow.
Anony says
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I think you probably already know this, but maybe it would help to hear it – just because your son says these things doesn’t mean he really believes them. You’re just a safe target for his frustrations because you’re always there, you’re dependable, and he knows you will love him no matter what, and he’s not really mature enough to understand how this will hurt you. But you’re a great mom, and of course you’re fun, even if you’re not the Disney dad.
Cornellian says
Thanks!
Anonymous says
I’m so sorry. That sounds really hard. Given your son’s age, is there a way for you to start to bring him onto your team? I don’t mean one team is you and one is dad. I mean more that your family is your team. So ask for his help, his contributions, his thoughts on decisions–things as small as what to make for dinner, but also bigger things, within age-appropriate reason. Make him a part of your parenting process, and think of it less as parenting choices and more as family choices.
I guess my context here is that my husband and I have to sometimes remind one another that we’re “same team.” We operate so much better when we’re both thinking about the family’s success, and I think kids can be a part of that. The idea would be for him to feel invested in you and him as a family.
Cornellian says
Thanks. Maybe I can get him more involved after school it seems like that’s when he gets sort of petulant and mean.
Boston Legal Eagle says
They always hurt the ones they love the most. Yes, I think you can reframe this similar to toddler parents – the kids lose it or say hurtful things because they know you’ll still be there and love them. It actually means that your relationship is so strong that he feels comfortable expressing his emotions, knowing that you will be there the next day. It certainly doesn’t sound that way but he’s not capable of saying something like “hey I get to do this fun thing with dad sometimes (if he shows up), but I’m also kind of sad that I don’t get to see dad all the time and does that mean he doesn’t love me? Is there something wrong with me?” (a lot of adults are not mature enough to do this). So he takes it out on you. You don’t have to be fun to be a good parent. A good parent shows up every day and does the hard work, even if it’s boring and annoying. That’s parenting.
Anon says
Screaming into the void today. Haven’t had childcare all this week. Took the toddler to the grocery store right when it opened this morning to waste some time. Got a call for work on the drive home. Trying to unload groceries, kid, and do a work call. Dropped a bottle of wine that smashed all over the garage. RIP wine
Back to daycare on monday at least!
Cornellian says
Oh no!
Anonymous says
I have a video interview today for a virtual butt in seat job that a former colleague recommended me for. I have an easy four year old and 11 month twins who were premature and have had health challenges for the last five months. I’m working hard to manage their issues: in February one of the twins has eight doctor appointments. Last night I was lying in bed and one of them was crying and I thought, there’s no way I can work and care for these kids. FWIW, I have a nanny, but she can’t take them to doctor appointments (they’re fosters so I have to do it). Am I crazy to not consider the job? The income would be nice. Mostly, I’m afraid if I’m out of the work force for multiple years I won’t be able to get a job once the twins start school…which feels like it will be 400 years from now. I need to at least give the job a shot, right?
PistachioLemon says
Yes! Take it one step at a time. You don’t have to take the job, but you can definitely interview for it. See how it goes and then you can decide next steps.
Thanks for being a foster mom! That is awesome even though a ton of work.
Cornellian says
You definitely should at least give it a shot. You can take some of the income and outsource anything else you can so you can focus on the parent-only events.
Anon says
I don’t think you’re crazy to not want to take the job. I have one kid who has an increasing number of doctor’s appointments (but not eight in one month!) and I’m considering quitting my job. The mental load of kid health stuff is significant, in addition to all the time spent going to and from appointments.
Anon says
Look, you only get one life to live. You don’t “have” to do anything you don’t want to do. I don’t think there is a wrong answer. Go ahead and take the interview, if you decide it’s what you want to do, go for it. If not, that’s ok too. You’re in a tough spot– give yourself some grace.
FWIW, I was out of the workforce for 2 years and have gotten back into it without too much fuss. (Granted, I was in the process of applying/interviewing/processing for a long lead-time job for the entire second year, so I was actually offered the job when I had been out of the workforce for 1 year.) I am a lawyer and was terrified that taking time away would ruin my career. Many on here said it would. It didn’t.
anon says
I have a summer child-care dilemma. Younger kid is going to a program for school-age kids at her old daycare. She’s super excited about it, has lots of friends there, they do field trips, etc. So that’s easy. The dilemma is what to do with my sixth grader. While he doesn’t need to be watched in the same way, having him home alone for hours and weeks on end is not going to be a good scenario, either. Please trust that I know my kid when I say that he can stay alone some of the time, but definitely not the whole time. We can cover about three weeks with camps. I have no idea what to do for the rest of the summer, though. The YMCA offers full coverage, but it’s not a viable option (e.g., kids that have a history of being terrible to him, plus young, undertrained staff members are a toxic combination). What’s relevant is that he has ADHD and needs structure to his days.
Option 1: Try to find more week-long camps. Which is getting challenging because he’s aging out of quite a few of them. The downside is that we tried this last summer, and it was such chaos and disruptive to our work schedules to have a new camp every week. DS also didn’t deal well with a routine that was constantly changing.
Option 2: Find a college-age student to basically be a nanny. Seems dumb to have a nanny for one kid, and I don’t know what they’d do all day, but it’s something. Also, how does someone find a unicorn like this? It’s possible that I could split this with another family, but not totally sure who, yet.
Option 3: Occasionally send him over to my MIL’s. While he loves his grandma a lot, she has mobility issues and can’t easily take him places. He will be bored and in front of a screen a lot, but at least he’d have company.
Anonymous says
Nanny for sure. We have used a nanny service for this. If you have to pull the younger one from day care to afford it, do it and have the nanny watch both.
Have you looked into sleepaway camps and/or solo visits to extended family? We send our daughter to various aunts and uncles for 5 days at a time and everyone loves it.
Anon says
Sleepaway camp? A sixth grader is definitely not aging out of that. If his ADHD would interfere with a traditional camp experience, you could look into sleepaway camps for kids with special needs.
Anonymous says
Yes. Many traditional camps have quite a bit of structure, with the day broken into 1 hour blocks and clear transition time in between. As a former sleepaway camp counselor and a current parent of an ADHD kid, I think it would be OK. It’s dicey to commit to multiple weeks of a new camp, but if the week-to-week change might be too much, a lot of sleepaway camps have stay-over options on the weekend, or you could still do pick up, but then bring him back to the same place the next week.
anonM says
I did this as a college-aged kid for a pre-teen boy that was basically my cousin. Mom didn’t want him home alone 8-7 just playing video games. I stayed with them (but knew them and thought it was fun), had time to work out, read/study, etc., but had to get him through his list of chores every day and had to get him to swim/bike ride, something active daily. We started dinner some nights, did some laundry, cut the grass weekly, played a lot of Magic, biked to the ice cream shop a lot, etc. I loved it. They paid me, but it was a set amount for the week — generous but not like a normal hourly babysitting rate I would have charged for a Saturday evening or whatever. The mom did give us a long chore list daily, I’d def do that and make clear you expect the college kid to do this. I’d check a neighborhood mom group to see if anyone has a college or high school kid local that need some extra cash.
Anonymous says
Sleepaway camp, maybe some kind of organized summer fun with a friend or two?
Find out what his buddies are doing. When I was about that age, I had a handful of friend and we would rotate houses for a couple weeks over the summer. A parent was a round to supervise but we generally bummed around together. Some of my favorite summers!
SC says
I definitely recommend an overnight camp for at least a few weeks! Even with that, there will be weeks of not having anything structured in place. Until I was about 12 or 13, my parents filled in the gaps by hiring a college student to basically be an adult who could drive me to friends’ houses or the mall, or be home if I wanted to have friends over. There was no set routine or structure to the day, though–like, I planned my own activities, watched as much TV as I could handle, and didn’t spend my days doing math worksheets. I’m not sure how to find someone like this. My mom taught Sunday School to the high school seniors at our church, so she was already in touch with those who went to community college or the local campus of the state university system.
As for structure, does your son have any hobbies out of the house? I used to ride horses. When I was in middle school, I spent several weeks each summer helping out at the barn’s summer camps for little kids in exchange for lessons. (Not like mucking stalls, but helping teach the kids who weren’t riding at that moment about the equipment and care of horses.) Anyways, if he has a hobby, he may be able to find a way to be useful and around that hobby at the same time. You’d probably still need the college student for driving purposes.
Anonymous says
I’m an only child, and I had a college-age or late high school-age nanny for summers. I did the same thing for kids around that age when I was in HS.
Anonymous says
Have you checked the local private schools? Where we live, the private schools do full-day camps in three- or six-week sessions up through middle school. Kids choose from classes like swimming, ceramics, guitar, science, building model treehouses, etc. They are pricey and hard to get a spot at but really fun.
Anonymous says
Nanny. Doesn’t need to be college I did this in high school. Swim team, pool, library, set time for video games daily, if he’s got a friend split with that family.
Allie says
I echo the sleep away camp contingent — sounds like a great option.
EDAnon says
When I was a kid, I went to a horrible YMCA camp (like you describe) for two summers. I hated it and my parents found (when I was in 6th) a camp at my middle school. I don’t know who ran it but I loved it. It was basically hang out time with trips to the pool. I would keep looking around and see if you can find another option (I did not live in a large community!).
Photo waivers says
What do you do about the photo waivers for things like dance class or gymnastics class? We don’t post any photos of our kids on social media or online. I don’t want money for go to of my kids, I just don’t want the program posting photos of them online. I feel like I can’t find a single program that will enroll them without requiring a photo waiver. Is this just standard and I should get over it?
HSAL says
That’s strange – are the waivers actually required? I’ve probably filled out at least 6-8 and they’ve all been a “check yes or no”.
Allie says
I usually decline to sign it and it’s never been a problem.
Anonymous says
Are you sure the photo waivers are required? For some activities, if you don’t want them posting photos you just don’t sign the waiver. I always end up signing because they never associate the kids’ names with the photos unless the kid has done something newsworthy that will get public exposure anyway, like being cast as Clara in the professional production of the Nutcracker or winning the symphony youth orchestra concerto contest. Photos with no name are not going to help the facial recognition algorithms learn your kid’s likeness.
Anonymous says
Just politely decline. This is what I do for my fosters. I think technically they can be in group photos, but I just default to “I will not be signing this photo waiver due to safety reasons; thanks for understanding!”
EDAnon says
I always decline.