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CorporetteMoms

01/13/2023 105 Comments · by Ann

Family Friday: Kids’ Hike Full-Cushion Margarita Crew Socks

Recent Recs

A pair of multicolored striped kids' socks

We spent part of our winter holidays romping around a cold and snowy mountain. Here are socks that will keep your little one warm and dry.

These crew-length wool socks from Smartwool are soft, breathable, and odor resistant. They have a flat toe seam and elasticized arch brace for comfort and fit. With these and the right gear, they’ll be ready for a winter full of outdoor adventure and fun!

These socks are $15 at Zappos and come in a blue (neptune blue) or red (ash) pattern. They’re available in little kids’ medium (12-2.5) and large (3) sizes.

This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of Note…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

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  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles; extra 50% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 30% off your purchase
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  • Lands’ End – Up to 60% off your order
  • Talbots – End of Season Clearance: Extra 60% off markdowns
  • Zappos – 21,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.

Kid/Family Sales

  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 30% off Valentine’s Shop
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  • Lands’ End – Up to 60% off your order
  • Carter’s – Up to extra 40% off clearance
  • buybuyBaby – 20% off premium pumps & accessories
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About Ann

Ann is a working mom, a longtime reader of Corporette and CorporetteMoms, and has been writing our morning fashion advice for working moms since November 2020! She has a daughter (born winter 2014) and a son (born fall 2019) and is a public interest lawyer in Washington, D.C.

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Comments

  1. Mnf says

    01/13/2023 at 8:40 am

    Recommendations for harness to booster seats? My kid is 4 and 39 pounds, so I don’t want another convertible seat. The car seat lady doesn’t seem to have any reviews of this type of seat – just car seats (baby to toddler) and then boosters. Tia

    Reply
    • Clementine says

      01/13/2023 at 11:58 am

      Britax Grow with You Harness Booster seat is our ‘grandma’s car’ booster/harness seat. We have the previous version – the Frontier/Pioneer. Easy and does it’s job – downside is that it doesn’t fit 3 across. Really easy to adjust and meets the need.

      Reply
      • Anonamoma says

        01/13/2023 at 1:12 pm

        This is what we just got for our 4-year-old who is about the same size (42 inches, 40 lbs). I actually am pretty sure we got the Frontier (it was majorly on sale on Black Friday– didn’t realize it was discontinued). She really likes it so far, especially the cup holders that her prior car seat did not have. We love the ease of installing the ClickTight line of Britax seats.

        Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 12:06 pm

      We like our Graco Tranzitions. Reasonably cheap, fairly light if you need to bring it on a trip, one of the narrower options, 2 cup-holders, and transitions to both a high-back and no-back booster.

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        01/13/2023 at 12:53 pm

        We like ours too! Note that it is pretty wide- we definitely cannot fit a third booster in between two of these in a RAV4.

        Reply
        • Anonymous says

          01/13/2023 at 1:23 pm

          Counterpoint: I have three of these across the middle seats (front facing) in my 2012 Honda Odyssey. I feel like the Tranzitions is really underrated: relatively inexpensive, fits three across, easy to move from car to car. One of the 5 point harnesses sticks, but I think that’s a fluke because the other two don’t. I like that my 6 year old (who is small) and my two year olds can all fit.

          Reply
    • anon says

      01/13/2023 at 12:08 pm

      Chicco MyFit turns into a high back booster. No comment on the booster function yet, because I’ve had it since my now 3rd grader was in kinder and the harness still fits properly (which is great! kiddo finds it easy to use and it’s safer to keep it in harness mode as long as it fits properly).

      Reply
      • Anon says

        01/13/2023 at 2:05 pm

        We have this and use it as a booster (my then 4YO outgrew the harness by weight less than 4 months after we got it as a replacement of her old car seat from a car crash). TBH, I wish we had just gone straight to booster, because the booster is much lighter and easier to install and reinstall (and cheaper!), given we only got 4 months out of the harness usage, but I had my head wrapped around a 4YO couldn’t be in a high back booster (even if that’s where we ended up anyways because of weight). But if you’re just leaving it in one car, it was very easy to switch to booster mode, and booster mode goes up to 100 pounds.

        I picked that one because it had the tallest seat height, but note that harness mode weight maxes out at 65 pounds. So if you have a giant for a child like me, while you may be able to eke out an extra 6-8 months on shoulder height for the harness, be mindful of weight limitations (my now 5YO kindergartener is 4’1″ and 75 lbs).

        Reply
  2. Fell down three stairs says

    01/13/2023 at 9:14 am

    I broke a big toe yesterday and have to wear boot for the next 4-6 weeks, and walk as little as possible until the boot comes off. Any tips from those who have been there on how to take care of a toddler and preschooler while I wear this thing? I’m a SAHM right now and I’m struggling to think how I can take care of my very active toddler and get her energy out while I wear this thing.

    Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 9:28 am

      Oy – I have a toddler and infant and it would be impossible to “walk as little as possible” so this sounds really tough! Can you hire a babysitter to help with the toddler for a few weeks? Is family help an option? Could your spouse/partner take off 1 day here and there/WFH to help and have family come 1 day per week to help?

      Reply
      • AwayEmily says

        01/13/2023 at 9:39 am

        Yes, I think sit down with your partner to figure out how you can get help — maybe this is the time to fly in some reinforcements and for them to take a bit of time off.

        Also, can you get a sense from your doctor of when/whether there will be SOME improvement in so you can time reinforcements accordingly? Like, what are the chances it will actually take the full 6 weeks? When my sister broke her big toe she was doing (with the doctor’s permission) small amounts of walking at around 3 weeks with a special shoe.

        Reply
    • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

      01/13/2023 at 9:41 am

      Not answering your question, but this sounds so painful AND inconvenient. I hope you feel better soon!

      Reply
      • AwayEmily says

        01/13/2023 at 9:42 am

        Yes, I should have also said this! This sounds TERRIBLE. I dropped a bottle of vanilla on my baby toe weeks ago and it still hurts. I can’t even imagine how painful it must be to break your big one.

        Reply
    • anon says

      01/13/2023 at 9:46 am

      I had a stress fracture years ago and was in a boot for the same amount of time. The hardest thing was going up and down stairs. Otherwise getting around the house and doing chores was pretty easy.
      For getting the toddler’s energy out, do you have a yard? Maybe get some new fun outdoor toys or a small indoor trampoline? Something toddler can play with minimally supervised.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        01/13/2023 at 10:47 am

        Little Tykes Bounce House.

        Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 10:58 am

      Remote control cars for the kids that they can operate and ones you can operate and they can chase. You can also get monster truck style ones that will run outside. You sit in a chair and control the cars, they run and chase.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 12:21 pm

      I broke my arm with kids this age, and I just broke down and hired a mother’s helper. It’s not ideal, but I really couldn’t do it all and pushed myself too hard.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      01/13/2023 at 1:43 pm

      Definitely hire someone and ask any available family members to come!Im an SAHM and a lower body injury is a big fear of mine so I get it. Are they in part time preschool at all? Utilize any indoor play places or library rooms where you can sit and watch them play rather than chasing them around. Get a small indoor trampoline. Bring mom friends who can help. If you have other SAHM friends ask if they’d be willing to watch your kids for 2hrs/day during these weeks.

      Reply
  3. Redux says

    01/13/2023 at 9:17 am

    I feel like I should have resolved this by now after years of hybrid work from home, but… does anyone have guidance on how to keep the backside of your desk looking neat and tidy despite all the cords? My home office desk faces the door, which means that one million cords are twisted and gnarled and dangling, and the first thing you see when you look in the office. I tried rotating the desk so the cords can be hidden against the desk and wall, but I really prefer the other orientation. Specific recs for cord-keepers for the various power, monitor, speaker, modem, etc. cords? Currently I am trying to use zip ties but they still create a channel across the top of my desk that makes me look like I am running an electricity grid.

    Reply
    • CCLA says

      01/13/2023 at 12:37 pm

      Check for “cord management kit” and/or “cable sleeve”. I have a couple management kits on my standing desk (I think they are from Jarvis, but don’t remember for sure). That takes care of tidying and corralling them in a slot right under the desk. I don’t currently use a cable sleeve but did at my old job. Zip ties work too but the sleeve is a little sleeker (but harder to redo anything once set up). Also look at modesty/privacy panels that cover the lower part of the desk to add another layer of hiding the stuff.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 12:59 pm

      I have a tray that hangs from the bottom of my desk to wrangle a power strip and cords. There are a bunch of adhesive zip tie-like things from a cord management kit to secure all wires to the underside of my desk. It’s this one, if you have a desk where you can screw things in from underneath the desktop: https://www.fully.com/accessories/wire-management/fully-cable-management-tray.html

      Reply
  4. SLC/Moab/Arches says

    01/13/2023 at 9:24 am

    Speaking of hiking, we’re planning a trip this spring to Salt Lake City, Moab and Arches Nat. Park. Traveling with 1 and 2.5 year old. We chose Arches due to the many short hikes close to parking lots. Any must-do’s with kids/recommendations/tips? Thanks!

    Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 9:43 am

      Following. This is on my fall trip to do list.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 10:35 am

      You’re brave. That’s an ambitious trip with little kids. Do you have hiking backpacks to carry both kids?

      Reply
      • OP says

        01/13/2023 at 11:33 am

        Yup hiking backpack for 2.5 year old and baby carrier for 10 month old. 2.5 month old can walk up to a mile at a time. We have very low expectations for each day (mornings in the park, then afternoons hanging out at the pool).

        Reply
        • Anon says

          01/13/2023 at 1:05 pm

          We did a hiking heavy trip like this with kids similar ages (baby a few months older though). I would consider a hiking backpack for both. (I’m trying to remember, 6 months is the start for hiking backpacks I think?). You can likely borrow one from a friend, we did. I feel like this is one of those things that several people you know likely own and never use and would be happy to see theirs get put to use. I personally found it to be a world of difference in comfort for the adult for even a semi short hike.

          Reply
          • Anon says

            01/13/2023 at 1:07 pm

            I should add, we actually found it a sweet spot time to do a hiking oriented trip. There comes a time in the not too distant future where you can no longer do the older one (then both) in a hiking backpack, but then (at least in our case) you are still years away from doing an enjoyable hiking oriented trip where they can walk any amount of distant on their own without constant complaining. So I was glad to do it when we did. Enjoy!

          • anon says

            01/13/2023 at 1:21 pm

            I didn’t find hiking carriers intrinsically more comfortable than a SSC on my back, but what was key when each adult is carrying a kid is that hiking backpacks let you have a kid + gear and baby carriers don’t.

          • Anon says

            01/13/2023 at 1:28 pm

            Same. We are big time adventure travelers, but I know my kids’ limits pretty well. I have three kids, and last year, I took a 2.5 to a backcountry lodge that was hike in only. We just took it slow and let the toddler go at his own pace. We made it before dinner. We’ve also taken babies and toddlers backpacking and as long as YOU are an experienced hiker, you’ll be fine.

            Just wanted to offer a counter point to some of the other thoughts here, especially because the idea of taking my babies and toddlers to a museum or indoor dining gives me hives. I find those situations far more stressful than letting kids run around outside.

      • Anon says

        01/13/2023 at 12:58 pm

        +1 I traveled a lot with babies and toddlers but trips centered around hiking was the one thing we wouldn’t do.

        Reply
        • Anonymous says

          01/13/2023 at 1:42 pm

          Different strokes for different kinds of people. The idea of eating at a fancy restaurant with my kids makes me want to stab my own eyeballs, but I will hike with them every day of the week. I sort of love toddler hikes because they tend to default to scavenger hunts. Who can get the biggest stick? Who can collect the most rocks? What is that bug? Where are these leaves coming from? Can I soak my entire outfit in this puddle?

          Reply
        • Anon says

          01/13/2023 at 1:47 pm

          That’s surprising – I know tons of families who find hiking one of the easiest things to do with kids.

          Reply
          • Anon says

            01/13/2023 at 3:20 pm

            I think it’s about expectations and is probably a matter of personal preference. For me national parks are places where I want a full day of sightseeing and I don’t want to waste time at a pool or in the hotel room while a kid naps. I’m pretty laidback when I travel with little kids – I think you kind of have to be – and we always build in lots of outdoor time at playgrounds and pools the like. But for me that kind of laidback slow-paced travel fits much better with beach destinations and cities, where I usually don’t feel like I have a set agenda. I enjoy hiking at home with toddlers, just not something I’d spend vacation time/money on at this age because it doesn’t feel worth it to me. Ymmv, everyone is different. Per the thread the other day, lots of people don’t think taking toddlers to Europe is worth it and we did that a bunch.

    • So Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 11:06 am

      I took my kids on this trip last year! We looped in Zion, Bryce and Canyonlands as well, which was manageable for the three of us because they are a bit older. We had an amazing time! A few thoughts off the top of my head:
      – Arches has a timed entry system. As soon as you know when you’ll be in the area, book your entry. Also, it takes a LOT longer to get through the line to the entrance of the park than I anticipated. If your entry ticket is at 11:00 am, plan to be in line for the entrance by 10:15.
      – We went in April. Arches is at the top of the canyon, and it was windy when we were there. It made the hikes colder than I anticipated. Even so, Moab itself was warm.
      – Moab is a cute town. There are a few hotels on the other side of the river that are actually closer to Arches and seemed to have fun pools. We stayed at Moab Springs Ranch, which is not directly in town because they have kitchenettes.
      – There are some great hikes in the area outside of Arches. However, some are accessible via mountain roads where the primary mode of transportation is four wheelers. I would not feel comfortable taking little ones on the four wheelers, though I saw folks do that.
      – If you are into ancient art, there are beautiful petroglyphs in the area. There is a petroglyph of a woman giving birth that made this art history nerd very happy.

      Reply
      • OP says

        01/13/2023 at 11:36 am

        This is so helpful, thank you! We already got our timed entry tickets and are also staying at Moab Springs Ranch. Also going in April, so good to know about the weather – will pack layers!

        Reply
    • Anonymous says

      01/13/2023 at 12:11 pm

      Look at renting a UTV – can put car seats in them and they are really fun for adults. Bring goggles for kids – can be dusty. There are rental agencies all over Moab and they can guide you with trail maps, etc.

      Reply
  5. double-bingo says

    01/13/2023 at 9:28 am

    Any advice/tips on bribery-based potty training, and specifically how to stop if it works???

    DD2 will be 3 in March and still in diapers. Big sister was day trained just before 2.5 after 3 days of boot camp method, motivated solely by (lots of enthusiastic) praise. We tried that with DD2 in early November since she showed interest and ability. It went ok, and then we found out she had pinworms and daycare asked us to put her back in diapers until we finished the course of medicine. After that DD2 insisted she wasn’t ready, and then we were thrown into travel/holidays/etc and didn’t want to push it. Now we want to try again, and are thinking she might be motivated better by straight up bribery – I’ve heard good things about offering a chocolate chip for every time they make it to the potty instead of in their pants. But if that works, how and when do you stop? I can imagine this child insisting on endless chocolate chips…

    Reply
    • OP says

      01/13/2023 at 9:39 am

      To add – we want to try bribery because DD2, unlike her sister, is much less interested in our approval!

      Reply
    • AwayEmily says

      01/13/2023 at 9:41 am

      I do not have advice because we used a different method but just wanted to say that lots of people I know have successfully used bribery and their children are not still addicted to M&Ms so clearly it can be done!

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      01/13/2023 at 9:51 am

      We bribed one, it kind of worked. I say kind of because until they’re ready nothing works, so she was ready. (We also tried bribing with TV and she elected to not watch TV for months). At some point we just said she was a big kid and didn’t need m&ms anymore. (She only got them at home, not daycare). Like many transitions, it wasn’t as big of a deal as we thought it would be.

      Reply
    • Anonamoma says

      01/13/2023 at 10:01 am

      Could you try a potty chart with stickers? We got a premade potty chart kit and gave a treat/gift at the end of each day with a bigger gift at the end of the week. I believe it had like 4 weeks worth of charts. That would be a natural end to the bribery cycle. It just kind of petered out for us. We didn’t finish all 4 weeks.

      Reply
      • NYCer says

        01/13/2023 at 10:13 am

        This was basically our strategy too. The bribery just kind of died a natural death.

        Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 10:03 am

      We did M&Ms so my daughter could pick her color of choice, but CC work too!

      Offer the candy consistently at first. After a while, don’t offer it but if your daughter asks, then provide it. After a bit, it will fade.

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        01/13/2023 at 10:12 am

        This is basically what we did for training our oldest to go #2 (he was scared and constipated). I will say he is very easygoing so bribery worked fine in conjunction with providing miralax consistently. I think he got M&ms every time he went #2 for about three months. We bought that huge sharing size bag and used half of it. After about 9 months I threw the remainder of the M&ms away, mostly as a gesture that we were DONE potty training. Good luck!

        Reply
      • Anon says

        01/13/2023 at 11:03 am

        This is what we did, until DD figured out how to go every 5 minutes a few drops at a time to maximize her extortion. I think then we made a new rule it had to be “big enough”. She never stopped asking, so we made another new rule (because she was 3) that chocolate was only for going no. 2. Eventually it faded away (she’s 5 now and it’s been years since we had to give chocolate).

        Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 10:05 am

      How about a sticker chart with a prize at the end? That way there is a natural stopping point. My sister has used the m&m method and her kids have accidents for a loooong time because how many m&ms do you really need in a day, lol. I think extrinsic motivation can work for some kids for a short, defined period. I’ve had luck with cold turkey, set times to use the potty/vigilance from me, and a small sticker chart.

      Reply
    • Lyssa says

      01/13/2023 at 10:06 am

      We used bribery, small candy for 1, bigger treat for 2 (my daughter, at age 2, was so cute – “I go peepee in the potty, I get a (high pitched voice) little treat; I go poopoo in the potty, I get a (low growly voice) BIG TREAT!”

      We didn’t really have a plan or strategy for ending it; eventually, it just sort of faded away, as using the potty became a normal routine rather than something to celebrate, and kids forgot to ask. Probably over the course of 6 months to a year, but I don’t recall for certain. It was easier and more natural then I expected.

      Reply
    • Allie says

      01/13/2023 at 10:27 am

      We ended it with a present and a LOT of hyping the transition from reward to present and no rewards after. Worked well.

      Reply
    • TheElms says

      01/13/2023 at 10:46 am

      We bribed with videos (but she never got them at preschool). We easily stopped videos for going pee, but poop has been harder because it provides an incentive to sit there and my kid tends toward constipation. It is also her only consistent screen time at the moment – she may get other screen time but its not consistent. She’s currently 3.5 so, maybe at 4 we’ll move to dedicated screen time and tell her she can have that (which would likely be longer) or a video on the potty. I think (hope) she’ll pick more screen time!

      Reply
    • anon says

      01/13/2023 at 12:12 pm

      We have done lots of rounds of bribery for our kids* and, honestly, they’ve also just kind of faded away organically. At first the kids are really invested in getting their chocolate chip or sticker, then they get used to the new habit and it’s less exciting to get the reward, and then they just stop asking for it. I was worried about this initially, but it’s turned out to not at all be a big deal (at least from ages 2 to 6).

      *Neuro-diverse kids who are very externally motivated

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      01/13/2023 at 12:23 pm

      We used chocolate chips with kid 2 (kid 1 was just raisins!!). For both kids it just naturally petered out in time. At some point we didn’t offer unless they asked and then they stopped asking. A total non issue.

      Reply
    • Artemis says

      01/13/2023 at 12:42 pm

      For my kids I didn’t want to do food (no judgment!) so I bought a large sleeve of Hotwheels—one car for every successful poop on the potty. I was hoping that we would be pretty good by the time the sleeve was gone and we were! I didn’t specifically put that pressure on him at all but he did it. When he had a temporary regression I told him he could pick a bigger model car (under $5) when he got back on track. He still treasures his potty training cars haha. So maybe a similar semi-identical inexpensive toy series?
      My oldest got tickets for every successful trip. Each ticket was 10 minutes of screen time and he could save up for a whole show or a movie.

      Reply
    • CCLA says

      01/13/2023 at 12:44 pm

      I’ve told this story before but we went big on bribery for our second. She got the hang of #1 OK but was withholding #2 and she was not motivated by M&Ms, was just like nah I don’t need an M&M. In desperation one day I offered her a full size lindt chocolate bar, told her she could have all of it if she went in the potty. It worked, and we gently tapered off the candy over the next week or two, eventually landing on “see, now you know how and don’t need the chocolate, so proud of you to have learned and that you’re doing big kid things” or something like that. Our older kid was very stubborn and not at all motivated by bribery, so by no means am I saying it will work for everyone, but for this kid it worked and months later she would still tell me “remember that time you gave me a giant chocolate bar so i would learn how to use the potty” – clearly a highlight and she got that it was not an every day kind of thing. Oh, and of course she didn’t actually eat the whole bar, but was THRILLED that she in theory would be allowed to. She ate some and declared herself done. Good luck!

      Reply
      • AwayEmily says

        01/13/2023 at 2:28 pm

        I love this story.

        Reply
    • Anonymous says

      01/14/2023 at 9:07 am

      We successfully motivated our ready-but-resistant child by telling her an activity she wanted to do only took kids who were potty trained.

      Reply
  6. Anon says

    01/13/2023 at 10:35 am

    At what point do behaviour problems warrant intervention? My 6 year old kid is often awesome – kind and clever. But when denied something they want, they take it out on younger sib (3) and can hit, spit, ruin younger sibs toys/drawings etc. also just not cooperate. Obviously, we stop the behaviour, protect the younger kid but It’s exhausting. But… parenting is not easy, this i know. At what point do we say, this isn’t normal.

    Reply
    • anon says

      01/13/2023 at 12:16 pm

      Parenting is hard. Do you have a parent consultancy in your area? In the Bay Area, Parents’ Place helps with strategies for a big range of issues, whether they’re normal or not.

      Reply
    • anonymous says

      01/13/2023 at 12:30 pm

      This description fits my 6yo very well. She is brilliant and extremely charming and helpful when she wants to be, but has a very hard time dealing with disappointment (including being told ‘no’) and lashes out physically. We started seeking out behavioral therapy when it was getting to the point of majorly disrupting our home life, e.g. we’d need to remove ourselves or her sibling from the room multiple times during an evening to avoid the physical attacks. Going through the process of getting the initial evaluations for therapy was helpful, because then we had someone else objectively looking at the situation and saying “okay, on this scale the mean is X, the clinical cut-off for treatment is Y, and your kid is Y+40”.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 12:38 pm

      This sounds like my 7yo. Mostly, good parenting is just hard! I’m thankful that social media/the internet has shed a lot of light on neurodiversity, childhood trauma, etc and empowers people to speak up; but, at the same time, I think there’s a tendency to pathologize normal developmental behaviors. As a starting point, is your kid hungry/angry/lonely/tired when these situations most commonly occur? Or generally is he getting good sleep, are there any life changes happening, is school rough, etc.? There is a lot to be uncovered by going “back to basics”.

      If a child’s behavior is truly disrupting family life, or you have a gut feeling, it doesn’t hurt to seek out a professional to discuss. I guess I’m saying all this because I feel bombarded by messages that “something must be WRONG and you need to DO SOMETHING”, when really slowing down and leaning into connection could help with most of it.

      (And some kids are just naturally more difficult…check out Mary Von Geffen, she is a great resource for parenting “spicy” kids.)

      Reply
      • anon says

        01/13/2023 at 1:25 pm

        So yes, this is true…but on the flip side this starts implying that people with challenging kids could just fix everything if they made sure they got enough sleep, ate properly, and got to spend more time with their parents.

        I would love if that was all my kid need, but it isn’t and that’s why it’s great that medication and therapy and in-school behavioral teams are options.

        Reply
  7. Anon says

    01/13/2023 at 11:01 am

    Made it a whole 6 days of school and now one kid was up the past two nights and is home sick today. I’m soooo tired.

    Reply
  8. A says

    01/13/2023 at 11:17 am

    I’m sure this has been asked before, but how do you have fun with your spouse? Between sick kids, work stress, and family of origin stuff, I feel like my husband and I are ships in the night. We try to go out just the two of us but are often exhausted and don’t necessarily have a lot of capacity or energy to be footloose and fancy free. Our kids are 4 and 8, so not that little and I thought we would have more bandwidth by now.

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      01/13/2023 at 11:22 am

      Finding TV shows to watch together- the Terror, White Lotus, Chernobyl, Derry Girls are some recent ones (yes we are not up to date). Also taking off an hour or so early on Fridays for happy hour is an easy and fun one, and also sometimes meeting for lunch out during the week (although that ones a bit harder).

      Reply
      • Anon says

        01/13/2023 at 11:55 am

        Ours are 2 and 8. We try for dates every quarter or so, but really, watching shows together is about the best we can mange most days. We each have Big Jobs and each do Important Things but our t.v. show habits lean very trashy – 90 Day Fiance, Love is Blind … can’t wait for Milf Manor!

        We’ll sometimes do Date Night At Home where we get take out and to do home projects together – bake a complicated dish, repot all of the house plants … we made candles once. Just an excuse to interact with each other, where kids are not the center of our conversations. Date nights out can feel too much like work, once you figure in child and dog care, driving and parking, reservations, etc.

        Reply
    • Spirograph says

      01/13/2023 at 11:35 am

      Sometimes there’s just a season like this. My husband and I have gone through weeks and months lots of times where it felt like we were just trying to get things done and planning some kind of date night or elaborate way to connect is energy we don’t have to spare. The connecting doesn’t necessarily have to be “fun” to meet the need.

      examples: veg in front of the TV together & fold laundry, pausing the show to chitchat about whatever pops into our heads. Do things on the weekend where the kids are likely to run off ahead and leave us time to talk, like a hike or a bike ride. Talk while making dinner. Call eachother on commutes or while waiting for kids at separate activities.

      Reply
    • Clementine says

      01/13/2023 at 11:55 am

      We play cribbage and (since Christmas) Mario Kart together. It’s really so much more fun for both of us than watching TV. We also committed to a really consistent date night schedule – Planning for 2 dates/month really just made us so much more sure we would do it.

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        01/13/2023 at 12:28 pm

        +1 we have a game and fancy foods/drinks night every so often. Recently I made bacon wrapped dates and we played Codenames. We have also gotten into a video game called Overcooked where you have to work together to cook food at a restaurant.

        Reply
      • OP says

        01/13/2023 at 1:27 pm

        Love the Mario Kart idea! We have a Switch and enjoy playing with our kids, but I think we would have fun playing just the two of us, too. Date nights are great, but I think this would help with the weekday slog.

        Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 12:07 pm

      Getting out in nature together and introducing more novelty into the day. A bigger adventure (e.g., hiking a peak, a full ski day) is best, but minor adventures (e.g., exploring a new-to-us park locally) can also be great, especially if it’s something new. There is a lot of evidence out there that doing NEW things, not just fun things, helps cement the experience in your memory and break up feelings of monotony/routine. It also really helps to be engaged in our surroundings and bring curiosity to the day – we talk about things like the snowpack and whether the clouds we’re looking at seem to portend rain and whether we’ve seen more deer this year than last year. It brings more mindfulness and connection to our relationship to observe the world around us together. Time away from screens and distractions is so key for us.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      01/13/2023 at 1:23 pm

      For us, it’s about getting out of the house. We’re trying to book a babysitter every 2-3 weeks this year, and while we’ve had some nights out that were less than ideal because our general exhaustion, it’s still been really good for us (I basically fell asleep at a concert–whoops). My advice would be to just make it happen and go out tired. I’ve also found that by building out our babysitter roster, we’re now in a much better position to be social with other couples, which has been amazing after covid winter and a cross-country move.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 1:26 pm

      We started doing a 20 min workout together once a week. It feels good to do something positive together that’s not kid related and is easy to fit in.

      Reply
    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      01/13/2023 at 2:05 pm

      Couples only trips for our birthdays. Date nights that involve activity (like an escape room) instead of just staring at each other over dinner. We try to watch TV or a movie together too. Going out to the movies is also nice.

      Reply
    • AwayEmily says

      01/13/2023 at 2:32 pm

      maybe this is super boring, but the times I feel most connected/have the most fun with my husband are when we just sit on the couch and talk. The kids are in bed, the house is clean, and we just gossip about our friends, politics, whatever. I love it.

      We do some other stuff together, albeit not super frequently given 3 young kids (dinner every once in awhile, cross-country skiing over lunch breaks in the winter) but the living room chats are my favorite because there’s no pressure.

      Reply
      • A says

        01/13/2023 at 3:16 pm

        Not boring at all! I agree that having more than five seconds for a conversation makes a big difference, and we are definitely more connected when we can make this happen.

        Reply
  9. Anonymous says

    01/13/2023 at 11:58 am

    We’re going to fly with my 3.75 year old soon, and I’m not sure what to do about car seats. Last time we flew, we took the Cosco Scenera Next on the plane with us, but it was hard to stop my kid from kicking the back of the seat in front of him the whole time. This time, he’ll be too big for the Scenera Next. I’m thinking our options are either (1) ship a car seat to our destination and fly without any restraints, or (2) buy a larger carseat and bring it on the plane, or (3) get one of those harness things for flying, plus ship a carseat to our destination. I’d like to go with option 1 but am hesitant about flying with a squirmy kid for 3 hours with no restraints. Any thoughts? Thanks!

    Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 12:12 pm

      Option (4) is get a travel harness for the car (Ride Safer Travel Vest is what we use) and fly without restraints. That’s what we have done since my kid turned 4 (now 5).

      Reply
      • TheElms says

        01/13/2023 at 12:26 pm

        We did multiple flights at Thanksgiving/Christmas with no car seat on the plane for a 3.5 year old (we tried to bring the Graco Contender on the planes at Thanksgiving and there was no way it would fit in the airplane seat so we were forced to gate check it) and after that experience, at Christmas we just brought the Ride Safer Vest in our carryon luggage. The flights were all 3-4 hours and kiddo had no problem sitting and staying in the seat. She was happy to watch videos on her tablet. The Ride Safer vest worked really well for us in a variety of cars and we’ll definitely always go that route in future. If it helps for reference 3.5 year old is about 42 inches tall and about 38 lbs.

        Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 12:20 pm

      I also have squirmy kids, and I also fly very frequently with them. I need a car seat on the plane to keep them from scaling the top of the airplane or, I don’t know, rushing the cockpit. It’s expensive, but we have loved the WAYB Pico. It’s foldable (worth buying the backpack), so very easy to transport in the airport, and transitions well from the plane to the car. You might get lucky finding one on your local listserve, but I haven’t seen many make it to the secondary market yet.

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        01/13/2023 at 12:46 pm

        The review I read said that the WAYB Pico crotch strap is pretty short — has that been your experience? The crotch strap on the Scenera Next is too short for us so that concerned me.

        Reply
        • Anon says

          01/13/2023 at 12:53 pm

          Oh interesting, not my experience, but my toddler has always been a little smaller than the average bear. I may run into this now that she is 4 (I’ll update next month when we fly again).

          Reply
        • Anonymous says

          01/13/2023 at 4:11 pm

          I love the Pico. Its swan song was likely our trip last summer when my (VERY TALL) 3 y/o was just under the height limit. She had no problems with the crotch strap.

          Reply
      • CCLA says

        01/13/2023 at 12:52 pm

        Yesssss the wayb pico and to the backpack that goes with it. However, we don’t use it on the plane, I just like having something that stores in the overhead bin or under the seat so I have a seat at destination without checking it. FWIW we also had a CARES harness we used a couple of times at age 3 for on the plane, but it just seemed like more hassle than it was worth so we stopped, just making sure the seatbelt was snug.

        Reply
        • Anon says

          01/13/2023 at 1:52 pm

          We use Wayb Pico plus CARES harness.

          Reply
      • Anonymous says

        01/13/2023 at 4:12 pm

        If you buy on the secondary market, be sure to check the info. The first batch of seats ended up being recalled. (And I am a happy owner of one, so not trying to turn you off here!)

        Reply
    • Anonymous says

      01/13/2023 at 12:24 pm

      Option 5, gate check a car seat you own and put the kid just in a normal plane seat.

      Reply
    • anon says

      01/13/2023 at 12:27 pm

      If you want to bring a carseat on, look at the Cosco Finale. I’m not sure it will solve your seatback kicking issue, but my 5yo also does that when sitting in the regular plane seat, so *shrug*.

      If you don’t want to bring a carseat on, I’d actually still recommend the Finale and just checking it, since it’s nice and light to carry through an airport.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 1:00 pm

      You can check the car seat for free, you don’t need to ship it. But yes at that age we flew without restraints on the plane and my kid was much happier that way.

      Reply
    • NYCer says

      01/13/2023 at 1:01 pm

      Personally, I cannot imagine bringing a car seat on the plane for a 3.75 year old, but YMMV. My daughter is similar aged…we fly without restraints and check a Wayb Pico in a travel bag with our checked luggage.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        01/13/2023 at 1:26 pm

        A friend just brought a carseat on a cross-country flight for her 5.5 year old and reports they would absolutely do it again because it was such a good experience. To each their own, I guess!

        Reply
        • Anon says

          01/13/2023 at 3:22 pm

          That’s wild to me. We fly a lot and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a kid over age 3 in a car seat. Frankly we rarely see them at all on planes – kids under 2 are usually lap infants (I know it’s the safest option, but it’s very common) and kids over 2 usually just use the airplane lap belt or a harness.

          Reply
          • Anon says

            01/13/2023 at 3:23 pm

            It’s NOT the safest option, I mean

          • NYCer says

            01/13/2023 at 7:21 pm

            +1.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      01/13/2023 at 2:03 pm

      For our summer flight, we did no restraints for either the then 3.75 year old or the 6 year old. No issues (iPads for the win). We checked the 3 year old’s carseat and brought a mifold high back travel booster for the older one. You could probably do the booster for the 3 year old if you’re not going to be driving too much.

      Reply
  10. Anonymous says

    01/13/2023 at 1:38 pm

    I have an interview with an oil and gas company in downtown Houston next week. I’ve been out of the work force or WFH for the last three years. What should I wear? It’s with a medium sized E&P. Full suit or black pants and j Crew shirt? Would also take recommendations for walkable black heels: headed to Nordstrom rack this weekend to look. Thanks for any guidance.

    Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 2:18 pm

      My Houston-based client in a related industry is still very conservative on dress, so for an interview I would wear a full suit (ideally in a color other than black so you don’t look “brand new”) or a nice dress and non-matching tweed jacket. Especially if it is male-dominated, to me that cuts in favor of being more formal. I’m just the service provider, but I was not out of place in my nice dress with non-matching jacket attire. If you are more senior, I would cut against the matching full suit because sometimes to me that reads as junior – less so in colors other than black, but I and my partner-level female colleagues rarely wear matching full suits these days.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      01/13/2023 at 2:39 pm

      In my experience, Houston O&G is still pretty formal (especially downtown), so for an interview I’d err on the side of full suit or suit-like separates (like the suit dress and tweed jacket approach mentioned above). Good luck!

      Reply
  11. Anonymous says

    01/13/2023 at 2:16 pm

    Question – for those of you where you and your spouse are both going into the office, and your offices are close to each other, do you meet up for lunch? If so, how often?

    DH and I work in the same business district and have for 7+ years now. Previously, our offices were 6 blocks apart. Now our offices are 1 block apart (my office moved buildings). My admin asked if we’d now be meeting up for lunch. She means this as a genuine question. I had never considered it, as I’m usually just trying to make it through the day as fast as I can and get home. And I have a sit down lunch maybe 6 times a year. I don’t know if anyone else who works near their spouse, so curious about others. I don’t think we’ll start, but you never know.

    Reply
    • Spirograph says

      01/13/2023 at 2:38 pm

      We used to work in the same campus, and yes! Not every day, but when things were slow, it was a nice break in the workday.

      Reply
    • Clementine says

      01/13/2023 at 2:41 pm

      My BFF and her husband work similarly and have a standing lunch date once a month. It started when their oldest was in daycare and she’s mentioned repeatedly that it’s something that is so much easier than an evening date.

      It’s also the time they chat about what kid/household related things they need to do – and it’s during business hours so they can often also go back and then call the place and it’ll be open. FWIW, she just has it on her calendar as ‘BFF Out’ and an hour or so blocked off.

      Reply
    • CCLA says

      01/13/2023 at 2:55 pm

      Yes! DH can’t usually get away from work but has random days fully off, whereas I have a very flex job. Since we live close to my office, when he’s off, we will sometimes meet up for lunch, or more often we’ll grab breakfast after dropping the kids off and I’ll head into work a little on the later side. I love it – a date without needing to arrange a sitter! I’d say we do it a couple of times a month.

      Reply
    • NYCer says

      01/13/2023 at 2:55 pm

      Pre-covid, my husband and I would get coffee probably once every week or two and lunch about once a month (our offices are probably an 8 minute walk apart, and we meet somewhere in the middle). Now that I don’t go in every day, I tend to not go out for lunch or coffee as often, so our numbers have dwindled. But we still do it occasionally. It always makes me happy when we do. OP, you should try it if you can!

      Reply
    • Cb says

      01/13/2023 at 3:12 pm

      We did it prepandemic, not every week but every other and it was lovely. It was like a free date. We went to a vegan place that had this extensive burger menu and worked our way through the burgers.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      01/13/2023 at 3:15 pm

      My husband and I worked on the same block for an overlap of 3 months, and we got coffee or lunch together maybe once every other week. It was really nice to have a little check in time outside the house! Then he changed jobs and now I miss it. We did not commute together because we had different schedules, but if that is an option for you that might be a nice time to catch up as well.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      01/13/2023 at 3:24 pm

      Yes. My husband and I used to work on the same university campus and had lunch together 1-2 times per week. One of the things I miss most about pre-pandemic life.

      Reply
    • Vicky Austin says

      01/13/2023 at 5:14 pm

      When we worked in the same building, yes, often!

      These days we work geographically far apart and he usually likes to spend his lunch hour going home to let the dog out, which I can’t always swing with lunch traffic. Once in a while we’ll meet up and the dog will deal. Especially if I have an 11amish OB appointment, which I do my best to finagle.

      Reply
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