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If you’ve been on the main site, you’ll know that I’ve been recommending the Karmen pump for years, in part because the readers have been recommending it for years. Payless filed for bankruptcy in April and has closed many stores (check on yours here), so if you like this shoe or if you haven’t tried it yet and need a very affordable pump (with a 3″ heel), do give it a try. You can pop into your closest Payless store (er, if there’s still one around) and pick up a pair there, or you can buy one on Amazon, which has 10 colors in sizes 5-13 (including some wide sizes). Comfort Plus by Predictions Karmen Pump This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.14.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Pogo says
What do people do about clothes sizing post-baby? I realize now that I have been incredibly blessed my whole live to have a very standard bust-hip-waist ratio. I am supposed to be in a wedding 3 months PP and the consultant recommended going with whatever size my current bust is, plus one more size up to accommodate future growth of the girls.
Obviously since it’s a bridesmaid dress I’ll get it tailored, but that measurement puts me 4 sizes up from my pre-pregnancy size! What if my waist goes back to even remotely close to my old size – does that mean I’ll need to get all my clothes tailored??
I don’t know why this never occurred to me, and now I understand what all my large-chested friends have been complaining about for years. I guess the answer is you use resources like thiss1te to find clothes that are professional and accommodate nursing b**bs.
Anon says
I was a bridesmaid 8 weeks PP for my best friend, where we just had to buy a black cocktail dress. I bought a dress guessing at boob size. I had it altered at 5 weeks PP. At 7 weeks PP, it no longer fit. (Everywhere, my whole body changed shape.) So I made an emergency run to Nordstroms, every personal shopper in the store was helping me find ANYTHING that would work. I bought three dresses in three sizes, wore the one that fit “best” and returned the others.
It was a nightmare, and 2 years later I’m still a different body shape than I was before pregnancy. I had to get all-new clothes, and yes now they all need to be tailored. Before, I had a large chest but everything else was relatively standard so I could get away with careful shopping and minimal tailoring. Now, there is zero chance something off the rack will fit me. It’s awful.
Pogo says
So what you’re saying is my nightmare is just beginning :) ??
Anon says
Yeah that was the least-helpful comment ever, sorry. I think I meant it as commiseration? I’m still bitter than I’m not one of those people who magically go back to their pre-preg sizes just with better b**bs, but those people definitely exist so maybe you’ll be in their camp?
Pogo says
I mean, even if I go back to pre-preg size, I feel like my b**bs will still be ginormous and thus off-the-rack will not work, like you point out. It never occurred to me how much sizing (at least US sizing) depends on a pretty rigid bust-hip-waist ratio that just seems physically impossible after having a baby.
Anonymous says
Unfortunately, there’s just no real way to know. At three months PP both times, I was basically back to my normal size (could wear tailored pants for instance), but my chest was still larger than normal. It did not go up an entire extra size though from my pregnancy b**bs. By 3 months, it was pretty much about where I was at 30 weeks of pregnancy or so. For a BM dress post partum, I would definitely leave room to accommodate an increased chest size over your “normal” size, but I would hold off on worrying about tailoring your regular clothes. By 6 months of so PP (and certainly after weaning) my chest size leveled out and I was back in all of my regular clothes with a measurable change. The only clothes that don’t seem the same to me after pregnancy are pants that are low-rise, but I also think some of that is attributable to style changes over the last few years, not just changes to my figure.
Annie says
I started out four sizes up pp, and 10 months later am down to 1-2 sizes up pp. My old clothes are in a closet waiting and I’ve bought new things. I can’t imagine getting things tailored b/c it just wouldn’t seem worth it. Unfortunately, you have no way of knowing what size you’ll be.
Blueberry says
In a similar situation, I got fitted for a dress about a month pp and ended up having to have it taken down like 4 sizes by the time the wedding rolled around, and this was not really a problem for the tailor. So I guess err on the side of a bigger size. It’s not unlikely that your b**bs will get even bigger after you give birth.
Clementine says
In pants, I was back to my PP size by 6-8 weeks post partum; however, my cup size was enormous until about 8 weeks pp when it settled at my pregnancy size. (34DD pre-kid, 34G/H pregnant, 34I/J probably, and now I’m at a 34G nursing 2x/day). I would have bought a size to fit the girls that was as close to my normal size as possible.
Even though my clothes fit, I’m aggressively trying to lose the last 10 pounds. Especially hilarious because I lost everything else in the first 6 weeks. My mother swears she wasn’t able to until she weaned that she was able to get back to her normal weight.
lsw says
There’s no way to say how your body will react at that point, so my advice is this. Buy the dress huge and trust your tailor. Don’t worry about tailoring/replacing any of your other clothes until at least six months PP.
My bra size didn’t change at all while pregnant, then when my milk came in, literally changed multiple cup sizes in the space of hours. (It was really, really crazy.)
I lost 90% of the weight within two weeks PP. Then it came back while nursing. Now it’s dropping (slightly). It’s impossible to say where you’ll be, especially with breastfeeding.
Buy a huge dress and don’t worry about all this stuff yet!
anon says
It’s impossible to tell how your body will change during and after pregnancy. After both of my kids, I felt like it was a good year until I really settled into my new normal. I don’t know if that’s typical, or if it happened because I weaned around then. I was able to drop most of the weight within 3-6 months postpartum but my shape was so different. My boobs never grew much (34B-cup pre-pregnancy to a 36C during nursing/pregnancy), but my rib cage stayed wider for many months. It totally threw off the fit of every shirt I owned. My youngest is now 2 1/2. My body is changed, but it feels like my own. I guess what I’m getting at is that yes, you will probably go through a long phase of nothing fitting or feeling right, but you’ll learn how to dress the body you have. Once your body settles into itself, it’s a lot easier to accept what it is and dress accordingly.
I’d size up 1-2 sizes (from your pre-pregnancy size) for the dress and plan on getting alterations later.
Pogo says
Thanks for all the perspectives… obviously no way to know how my body will be and I’m definitely going to order the humongous size and get it tailored. Reading all these experiences, it seems like post-baby-sizing really is all over the map and just no way to plan for clothes and you have to do your best…. like most of motherhood lol.
CHJ says
Do you have any choice in the dress? If so, you can pick a more forgiving style (like a wrap) versus an unforgiving style (like a sheath). But overall, I agree with everyone else to just get it tailored as close in time as possible to the wedding and not worry about it being your all-time greatest wedding attire.
Rainbow Hair says
I was going to make this suggestion. I officiated a wedding ~10 weeks PP and I got a wrapped maxi dress because (1) I could nurse (though TBH I just stripped down and nurse din the bridal suite) and (2) the fit was adjustable.
Pogo says
Oh yeah, I picked the empire waist flowy style. For sure.
Anonymous says
Clothes with a little bit of stretch to them will be your new best friend if your busy remains significantly larger than your waist. I’m a 34ff and a size 6 pants when not pregnant. You need a little give in the fabric to fit the girls up top without looking like you’re wearing a muumuu!
Sarabeth says
FWIW, my chest circumference was definitely larger while pregnant than it was 3 months out. My cup size was larger postpartum, but my band size had gone back down several inches. It went something like 34B -> 38C (pregnant) -> 36D (postpartum). For dress sizes, I was a 6 originally and roughly an 8 three months PP, but definitely needed a stretchy waist still.
Em says
I was also in a wedding at 10 weeks pp and did the same thing with ordering. I wasn’t a whole lot bigger than I normally am so I had to have the dress heavily tailored. I have always been an extreme pear and my son is 15 months now and my body is pretty much back to normal, but it took a full year to get there. All my old clothes fit well, including some pre-pregnancy suits, so there is hope!
Anon says
No way to tell, unfortunately. I was at least 2 sizes below my normal at 3 mos PP but with a much larger cup size, and at 3 months PP my cup size would vary dramatically throughout the day depending upon how close I was to a nursing / pumping session.
Agree with advice here to buy a dress in a large size, then book a tailor about 2 weeks before the wedding to fit you at whatever size are then. If you have a choice, I recommend not purchasing a fabric that obviously changes color when wet because of leaks.
Any chance you can just wear the baby in an front Ergo during the ceremony so you don’t have to worry about whether the dress fits well or not?
Pogo says
ha! that’s a great suggestion. If the little guy loves the carrier (I have both ergo and ktan) that might be the best way to keep him chill. I suspect her ceremony won’t be long though, honestly.
Katarina says
My waist did not go back to normal right away at all (or probably ever, I think I will need to get to about 10 pounds below pre-pregnancy weight for it to be back to normal, which is probably never happening). The bust to waist proportions of clothes are non-uniform, so something might work. FWIW my bust and waist where bigger in similar proportions while nursing, so I just sized up and wore flowy tops. My but went back to its original size or smaller, so pants where problematic.
Anonymous says
Soooo this may make me unpopular, but I am back to same size and shape as pre-pregnancy, and have been since about 8 months pp. So don’t be like me and assume that’s never happening and donate 2/3 of your pre-pregnancy clothes while on a cleaning binge at 39 weeks pregnant. Oops.
Anon says
29 weeks pregnant and fighting the urge to clean out my closet when cleaning out the rest of the stuff in preparation for the nursery. I KNOW I need to wait and see what fits and what doesn’t, but I’m so ready to clean out all the clothes!
ANon says
I put all my pre-pregnancy clothes in a box to clear out my closet and fill it with maternity wear. Packing everything up satisfied the urge to clean out my closet and reduced the stress I felt every morning when I opened my closet to get dressed for work. My maternity wardrobe was limited (so it didn’t fill an entire closet or anything), but it was nice to know that when I opened my closet every morning I didn’t have to comb through a bunch of stuff that couldn’t possibly fit.
I’m now 3 months postpartum and I’m going to pull out the box to see what fits before I go back to work.
SC says
Immediately PP, I was about the same weight or even 10 lbs lighter than I was when I got pregnant. (But for context, I was generally overweight.) While on maternity leave, I mostly wore lounge wear. Since my b**bs were bigger while I was breastfeeding, before I went back to work, I went to an outlet mall with a good friend and bought new bras and some loose-fitting Ann Taylor shells. I also wore a lot of ponte and fabrics with a little stretch or give in them.
But then I gained a lot of weight, maybe 20 lbs in a year. I had to buy bigger sizes anyways. When I left that job, I started WW and lost a bunch of weight–the 20 lbs and then some. Kiddo was 18+ months old by then. I am now able to wear clothes I was wearing about 2 years before getting pregnant. My body at a healthy weight really isn’t that different than it was before.
Soooo it’s a long journey. I wouldn’t throw anything you like out or get anything nice tailored until you’ve weaned and you’re significantly PP. I boxed up all my non-fitting clothes while I was pregnant (well, we renovated, so I boxed up all my clothes, but then didn’t move the non-fitting ones back in). I was so happy to be able to pull them back out.
Sleepy mom says
This week 15 month old (who admittedly has never been a great sleeper) has gone from STTN pretty reliably to waking up at 1-2am, standing up in her crib and screaming at the top of her lungs. It takes a long time to calm her down and get her settled unless I bring her to sleep in our bed. Awesome, right? I know she does not have an ear infection since we were at the ped a few days ago, my mom claims it could be teething, sister says could be night terrors (?!). Either way, I am losing my mind. We never did CIO…is it time? Looking for any advice!
Anonymous says
Maybe? We did CIO sleep training around 18 months for exactly the same reason. Baby would wake during the night and would only settle moving in with us. The problem for us is that the time of her move in with us kept creeping earlier and earlier, until she would only be in her bed for like 2 hours before wanting to get in ours. At that point, we did full on sleep training. It only took a couple of nights for her to “get” it and she has ever since. It was hard while we were “in” it, but so, so worth it.
mascot says
IME, night terrors are distinctive. My kid had a couple and it was like he was in a trance and didn’t recognize us. It took a lot of soothing and maybe a feeding and then he would snap out of it. He’d already sleep trainined so we had a fairly good handle on what was normal fussing it out and what needed more intervention from us.
RDC says
Was going to say this – night terrors are clearly different. During a terror the child is not awake and isn’t conscious of your presence. It’s similar to sleepwalking. FWIW when my son has them sometimes singing his favorite songs helps bring him out of it.
Marilla says
Does she calm down right away when you pick her up? If it’s inconsolable screaming I would check again for ear infection. Teething is also definitely a likely culprit. I would pick her up, take her out of her bedroom (my daughter SCREAMS and points to the door and it’s best to just go with it), give her Motrin, offer water, sit on the couch in dim light for ten minutes to soothe and distract her (with a book or stuffed toy), and then try to put her back in bed. In my experience it’s better to be awake for 20 minutes and go back to sleep after instead of not sleeping properly the rest of the night because you end up with her in bed.
Sometimes when we do this she’ll settle back down easily, sometimes she screams herself back to sleep (in those cases I turn on a little projector for her that plays music and pictures and she falls asleep before it finishes its tape).
Another thing that helped at that age was (oddly) taking her to the front door, opening the door, showing her that it’s night out and saying goodnight to the birds sleeping in their nests, the squirrels sleeping in the trees, the flowers sleeping in the garden. It was sort of like a little goodnight ritual that reassured her she could go back to sleep.
This habit kind of came and went with our daughter for a little while but now I can’t remember the last time we had a similar wakeup. (Our current struggle is 5 am not 2 am!)
Good luck!
Anon says
If she doesn’t have her canines and one year molars yet, I am guessing that is the culprit. Both of my sons got their one year molars around 14 months and then canines around 15-16 months. Molars are bad, Canines are TERRIBLE in every sense of the word. We always do advil at bedtime, and then have a replacement dose ready to go at the 6 hour mark (which they always wake up about 10 minutes before this, so it told us it was working).
As for ear infections, before we got him tubes, my youngest son had a ton. My pedi told us that they could look fine in the morning and then it can show up a few hours later. So a recheck might be in order if she isn’t getting teeth.
As for CIO, I think this is a bad time for it unless they have all of their teeth. Mostly because you never know when it is legit teething pain at this age. And the teeth that come right now aren’t those easy milk teeth.
FTMinFL says
Agreed with all of this – my little guy got all four molars at the same time around 15 months and it was tough until we realized what was happening. Motrin before bed actually eliminated the middle-of-the-night wake ups most nights.
ElisaR says
My 15 month old has been getting his molars for the last 2 weeks and he has woken up in the middle of the night (not typical for him). They take awhile to poke through! I have given him Motrin when it seems really bad (I was told it has an anti-inflammatory that helps with teething pain that Tylenol does not have)….
Anonymous says
We do CIO when this happens to my toddler. And we have since she was around a year old. She’s two now. We found that going in just got her more upset when we would inevitably try to leave. And she is a terrible co-sleeper. Sometimes she screams for a minute or two. Sometimes it’s more like 5+ minutes. But she always goes back eventually.
Anonymous says
I should add that if she’s sick or teething we do not do CIO in the middle of the night.
EB0220 says
Sounds like teething to me. Teething and ear infection are the only things I’ve seen elicit that kind of middle of the night screaming, and you know it’s not an ear infection.
Sleepy mom says
I do think more teeth are around the corner…at least I hope, cause DD only has 6 teeth! I will double check with the ped about her ears though, just to be safe. Thank you everyone for the advice, I love this community!
Anonymous says
DEfinitely sounds like teething. Try a pain reliever at bedtime. Molars are the worst and take forever in some kids – so painful for little ones
GCA says
No question, just a… doozy of a morning. Husband travelling for work. Kid woke up late so it was rush rush rush out the door, but not till he peed one last time and tried to open the finger paints so now his shirt is decorated with extra colours. I have half a pancake in my purse from his breakfast. I clean lost a hair tie on my walk to work. Apparently it fell off my braid (which is clipped up with a claw clip) and rolled away. And I walked in to work…and realised I wasn’t wearing a single thing on my face. No moisturiser. No sunscreen. No tinted lip balm. And definitely no makeup!!
anon says
I’m sorry you’re having such a rough morning, but your description of having a pancake in your purse gave me a good laugh. :)
Edna Mazur says
You made it to work and kiddo made it to daycare! Sounds like a win in my book :)
ElisaR says
hey, you never know when you need a spare pancake!
lsw says
I laughed at the pancake too. I sympathize because my husband was traveling for work this week too – which he has never done before, and I have done several times, so I can’t complain too much. But, MAN it’s hard to solo parent! New respect for all who do it regularly.
GCA says
Haha! I did get peckish around 11…
Seriously though, so much respect for people who have to solo parent regularly. I imagine you begin to develop good systems for it! I do maybe one or two 2-week solo-mom stints a year, plus occasional overnights as my husband has to be in the lab, and I travel for work myself maybe one or two weeks total. Don’t even want to think about doing it with 2 kids…
Clementine says
My husband’s job is 100% travel. On average, he’s gone for 2 to 3 months at a time, then home for equal time.
Would you believe me if I told you that the daily grind is the hardest for the first week, because you need to find your ‘groove’. After that, it’s not so bad.
There are a lot of other parts of solo parenting that are really really hard though. If anyone ever needs emotional support during a period of solo parenting (which is very different than single parenting because of the financial stability aspect), let me know!
GCA says
I believe it! When my husband’s gone for a fortnight, I really begin to get into the groove late in the first week. The first time he did it though, Baby GCA was 6 months old and *really* not sleeping and I was still finding my groove at work and almost had a nervous breakdown.
Just like there are strategies for getting out the door with everyone happy and well prepared for the day, it sounds like solo parents need strategies for building an emotional support network – what are yours?
H13 says
I would love to hear more about how you do it! What are your tips and tricks? My husband is going away for one night soon and I am panicked at the thought of being alone with two kids at bedtime.
Blueberry says
I would totally eat that pancake. Solo mornings get easier the more you do them, but in my experience, there’s no getting around the fact that you have to wake up earlier to make it work.
ANon says
When you’re starving and really want a pancake, half a pancake from your purse is better than no pancake at all. ;)
NewMomAnon says
Kiddo came home from school and announced that she is “done” with sandwiches. Apparently that means rolled up sandwiches as well as bread + filling sandwiches. Any suggestions for easy, make-ahead entrees with protein? Today I sent her with leftover dinner (reheated in a thermos), and yesterday I heated up some meatballs and put them in a thermos, but heating food before school is not always an option. I’d love something I could just scoop into a container the night before and pull out of the fridge the next morning.
Unfortunately, kiddo doesn’t do beans or fish. Her favorite proteins are peanut butter, deli meat (but not in sandwiches!), chicken and sausage.
GCA says
Finger food? DIY version of Lunchables with deli meat, crackers, cheese, hummus, veggies? It’s summer so she won’t really need a hot meal.
NewMomAnon says
So funny – when I was a kid, this kind of lunch was a super special, coveted lunch. My mom later admitted that she only made it for us when she had fallen behind on grocery shopping and didn’t have any bread in the house. My kiddo would love this.
AB says
We sometimes do salami, Babybel cheese, cherry tomatoes and plain buttered pasta, which my kids will eat cold or room temperature. A fridge-ready meal.
lsw says
Would she eat something rolled in a piece of deli meat? My mom would roll mustard/mayo inside ham and cream cheese inside bologna. Also regular cheese slices rolled up between meat.
Rainbow Hair says
Yes, this is what I was going to suggest! Roll some deli meat around some other delicious stuff — something creamy + something crisp.
Other thoughts: hard boiled eggs? chopchop salad with tofu? something involving cottage cheese? tuna salad that she gets to put on crackers by herself (this is a BIG hit with my kid)? crumbled sausage over kale and pasta?
NewMomAnon says
Do kids eat tuna? I have never been able to handle the smell; are there non-smelly tuna brands?
Rainbow Hair says
Hmm, my kid loves tuna? I think mainly for three reasons: (1) salty; (2) I make it with mayo; (3) she gets to build her own tuna+cracker thingie.
But if tuna grosses you out, what about chicken salad?
Anon says
How about quesadillas? Mexican sandwich? We eat a lot of cottage cheese at my house as well. Frittata?
mascot says
If peanut butter or sunbutter is an option, send a small container of that with lots of things for her to dip in it (fruit slices, carrots, crackers, celery, etc). Shredded chicken, hardboiled egg white, greek yogurt, stacklables of meat/cheese/thin veggies? Mozzarella balls, basil and cherry tomatos on skewers are good. My kid loves a nibbles plate so bento box style lunches are a big hit.
Pogo says
+1 I feel like dippables and stackables are your friend here. I have never met a kid who doesn’t enjoy dipping and stacking their food.
avocado says
Cold peanut noodles? My super picky kiddo loves the Marcus Samuelsson recipe for peanut noodles. I double the sauce.
Sarabeth says
Mini-quiches? You can freeze a bunch and defrost overnight.
CHJ says
How about cold pasta salad? Like tortelli with salami, mozzarella, tomatoes, and oil/vinegar. Chicken salad (curried or plain) plus crackers is another one that my son will eat by the gallon.
Em says
Vermincelli noodles with chicken, carrots, cucumber, mango and peanut sauce (peanut butter, soy sauce, and water); mac and cheese with chicken (we also add in carrots and blended leafy greens); Costco has little chicken salad cups made with Greek yogurt.
mss says
What about yogurt? We send yogurt and a string cheese/baby bel/cheddar rectangle pretty much every day of the week :).
Anon says
I went through 10 years without sandwiches through school and my mother (bless her) still made my lunch every day. A lot of soup, salad or pasta. Cold pasta salad as well. We weren’t worried too much about the protein, but would usually have cheese and crackers or peanut butter. Could you put deli meat on the salad? My mother has never had a chickpea in her life, but as an adult I add those to salads now.
Anon says
I was going to say pasta salads as well. We have been making them with the Banza chickpea pasta, which eliminates the gluten and adds lots of protein, but still looks and tastes like normal pasta to me.
Jen says
Seconding the faux lunchable advise. We do that here and call it a “sample plate” (my kid love And acoustic and Trader Joe’s samples…).
Roll ups of meat, sliced. Cheese cubes. Breadncut it ontiny pieces. When we’re home I stick toothpicks in some of it.
Anon says
Ugh, I’ve posted about my job dilemma before, but I’m posting again because I’m discouraged and need to vent. I was really excited about a job at possibly the most interesting public interest place in my town (medium city) and certainly one of the only ones where I could see a job materializing… and I’m realizing that I’m not sure I like the people there. Or at least two I’d be working with closely really rubbed me the wrong way, and I generally like most people.
I guess, commiseration? I really want to get out of biglaw into the public interest sphere and am willing to take a huge pay cut, but I’m having trouble finding somewhere. I have great credentials (I really do!), so it’s frustrating.
But there’s no state or federal government where I live, local never hires and basically I should have gone to a local law school for the network. I’ve been networking while working in biglaw and it hasn’t gone anywhere. I really want to go somewhere mission driven, I just don’t know if I can find anyone to hire me!
This job should be a perfect fit. I might still take it if they offer. It just doesn’t feel good.
NewMomAnon says
I’ve learned that there are multiple kinds of jobs and different reasons for taking new jobs. There are “forever” jobs, which are the rare unicorns that offer a good working culture, interesting subject area, and room for growth. And then there are “transition” jobs that let you develop a skill or network in a different area so you can better position yourself for a different forever job. (and then there are “lean out” jobs that let you focus on home life while still keeping a foot in the door professionally….) Is it possible that you’re evaluating this public interest job as a forever job, when it might actually be only a transition job to bridge your lack of local network? Is there some other position beyond this job that you could aim for with a 2-3 year exit in mind?
Anon says
And this is why I love the moms site. Thanks NewMomAnon, you are totally right.
I think it’s a transition job. It would be a step down in terms of work and role within the org (probably the other thing that’s grating me – it will likely hurt my pride) (I’m a fifth year associate, so solidly midlevel and this job feels more junior) but I think it would position me well for my next job. I think I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around being in a junior role – where I don’t love my coworkers – and at age 30-something. I probably need to suck it up and think of it as a stage/means to an end. And use them!
I also have a toddler and an almost toddler at home so it’s really not the best time to lean in anyways.
I just miss feeling excited about my career possibilities, you know?
NewMomAnon says
I hear you on being disillusioned about career possibilities. I don’t know whether I’m just crashing to earth from my millennial naivete, or whether working-while-mothering is making me short-sighted, but it seems like there are not many good options for lawyers who also want to be parents. Good luck.
Transitioning out of using a stroller? says
Just curious as to everyone’s experiences. When did you stop using a stroller with your child? Was it your choice, or your child’s? Reasoning?
NewMomAnon says
My kiddo is 3.5 and I just realized that I haven’t used her stroller in months. I think I would still bring it for an outing at a fair or Disney or something. Kiddo likes to walk and that’s probably healthier than riding, right?
NewMomAnon says
Hmm, seems like a lot of people had stronger arms and more patience than I do. My kiddo was 35 pounds at 2.5 and already 60% of my height; I knew I couldn’t carry her more than a block, so a stroller or Ergo was necessary for any walk longer than a block. I live in an urban area, so every walk is longer than a block….
Also, I hate the way I look in an Ergo. Some women look all cute and maternal. I look like a little hunched troll person or one of those Halloween costumes in which a really tall person appears to be riding on a very short person’s shoulders.
Anon says
Urban parent here too, often saw 4-5 year olds in strollers in my old neighborhood (v. middle class, lots of nannies), in my new neighborhood I see about 50/50 2 year olds walking (more working class/daycare oriented). I think there’s not stroller storage at lot of the day cares, so people just make kids walk. There’s a huge cultural component (and also, nobody asks nannies to babywear).
avocado says
Mine was 32 lbs in kindergarten. She also hung on like a baby monkey, which made her a lot easier to carry than her cousin who was the same size but went limp like a sack of potatoes when she was picked up.
In the city I see lots of preschoolers on those little 3-wheeled scooters.
avocado says
We didn’t use the regular stroller much except during the brief window between when our kid got too tall for the Baby Bjorn and when she learned to walk and decided she was done with the stroller. (Fortunately, she didn’t resist riding in grocery carts.) If better babywearing options had been available back then, I probably would never have used the stroller.
We never bothered with a stroller for the zoo, amusement parks, etc. after age 2. She didn’t really want to ride in the stroller, and she was so tiny that I could just pick her up and carry her on my hip for a while if she got too tired. She had given up napping anywhere but day care by that time, so naps were not a reason to bring the stroller.
We did use the jogging stroller for long walks in the neighborhood until she was able to keep up with us on her bike with training wheels for reasonable distances, around age 4 or so. She didn’t mind the jogging stroller as much as the regular stroller, but it was a beast to fold and get into the car so we rarely took it anywhere.
SC says
Kiddo is 2. We rarely use the stroller, and we probably started leaving it in the car most of the time around 18 months. Kiddo can go on “walks” around the neighborhood for 20-30 minutes. He stops a lot, but mostly to explore. I don’t think he would enjoy riding in the stroller while I walked several miles anymore (maybe if I ran, but no).
The only place we really take it now is the zoo, where we might walk a couple of miles. Even there, Kiddo mostly walks on his own or wants to be picked up and carried to look at the animals. But it’s nice to have if he gets tired and we’re still half a mile or more from the entrance.
We would still take it to Disney (and did earlier this year). It’s definitely normal to see people with 5-year-olds in strollers at Disney–and I don’t blame them, since it’s pretty easy to cover 7-8 miles in a day at the park.
rakma says
Around 2, child’s decision. Made for some great naps after more ambitious outings.
We tried extending stroller usage, but ended up pushing an empty stroller and trying to chase after kid too many times, so we gave that up pretty quickly.
avocado says
“Pushing an empty stroller and trying to chase after kid” perfectly describes why we gave up on the stroller.
Rainbow Hair says
Kiddo is almost 2.5 and we use the stroller for bigger outings when there isn’t another escape available (the car). Taking the train downtown for dumplings? I want to be able to strap her down in a stroller if she’s losing it. Walking around our neighborhood, or driving to the pizza place? Not necessary.
Anon says
This is exactly my philosophy, and why I have a double stroller for my 4 and 2 yos. I still need a place to strap down my 4yo if he’s losing it and we’re somewhere more than a 1-2 mile walk from home. He’s heavy!
Anon says
Kid is 27 mo and we only bring a stroller if going more than a mile or mile and a half. Sometimes we end up carrying him, which is hard at 33 lb, but I hate hate hate dealing with a stroller. He got too big for the ergo around 18 mo, which we used 90 percent of the time instead of the stroller.
SEP and Solo 401(k) says
SEP and Solo 401(k) plans were mentioned in the comments on the main site and it got me googling.
We pay our nanny on the books and are registered with the State as a “sole proprietorship” with a state tax ID number. Does this qualify us to start a SEP plan or a Solo 401(k)?
ElisaR says
i don’t think so – i know a solo 401k can only be for the owner of a business with no employees, i assume the same goes for the SEP. is your goal to save money for your nanny or yourself?