Family Friday: Jese Slip-On Water Shoes

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It’s pool season, and that means a new round of water shoes for growing kids.

Every year, I buy these Cat & Jack slip-on water shoes. They come in a rainbow of colors and patterns, are easy to get on and off, and last all summer (and beyond, to another kid). For any dirt or sand, just rinse them off and dry them in the sun. They’re also safer and studier than flip flops, especially for wobbly toddlers.

These water shoes are $12.99 at Target and available in sizes from toddler 5 to kiddie 2. There are 8 colors/patterns to pick from.

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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Okay, I’ve been drowning. Between work and solo parenting while spouse has been away for work for an extended time, plus get together over COVID and trying to dig out from the backlog of work/house stuff… I have been struggling like so many others.

My mom has been saying ‘I want to help! I want to help!’ And like… normally I know i can have her watch one kid for 2-3 hours once every 2 weeks. Anything more is too much. WELL. She kept saying she wanted to help and… I said, ‘great! Thank you so much. Can you tap in for X and Y gaps in childcare so I can cover this work thing.’ She agreed and I gave her many outs.

Well. I was right and had to hear how I was both a bad mom and asking her for too much. Oh, and spouse sucks for being out of town for work. Okay, fine. I posted for and hired a babysitter.

Now she’s like offended I didn’t ask her? I cannot win.

Ok, so what is the trick with these shoes??? I see them recommended often (natives too) and bought two pairs last summer. Both gave my kid massive blisters. Once wearing just while dry, once while wet. I would love to get some use out of them but leery of buying any more. Tips that don’t involve slathering kiddos’ feet with Vaseline or making him suffer through it would be appreciated.

For those who solo parent a lot or who are single parents, when does it become easier for one parent to watch the kids at night, while also cooking and without screens? Most nights, both of us are home to divide and conquer dinner + the kids (6 and 3.5) but occasionally it’s just one parent and that parent cannot get anything done without the kids going crazy. Is this just my kids? Their ages?

My childcare is closed for it’s sixth 10-day closure this calendar year. We live in a super Covid cautious community. I am Covid cautious but LOSING MY MIND. We are running into the issue that K-12 schools faced: if you keep closing (or not opening) people with the means to do so will stop attending. I love my kids high-quality childcare! I want it to exist. But I also love my job and don’t want to get fired.
Does anyone live somewhere that’s doing something between “no Covid here!” (which wouldn’t fly here) and 10-day closure every time?i want to make helpful suggestions about alternative approaches.

Just a vent. We’ve had some small but annoying GI bug being passed around our household, or we just all have had some minor GI issues. I had it for 2-3 days 2 weeks ago, DH has it now. I made sure I rested, followed a strict BRAT diet, hydrated, and then felt better.

DH like, isn’t doing any of that, not solely eating BRAT-foods (and I’ve offered to help how I can), and of course is so fatigued because this thing has now been going on for 5 days. I feel for him but I’m also like – DO THE THING THAT HELPS!!! Eating mac-and-cheese and drinking your regular coffee is NOT going to help with a GI issue.

What do your babies wear to play outside when it’s super hot? My 14 month old usually wears bubbles but now she has massive bug bites from playing in the yard yesterday. Should I be putting her in pants? Just not worry about the bites? They don’t really seem to bother her but it looks uncomfortable.

I had a heartbreaking flash of clarity last night, and I need to process it here. I’ve written before that my mom can be self-centered and lack empathy or understanding for what others are going through in their lives. My choices are right only if they are exactly what she would have done in the situation, and if I mirror back to her exactly what she is feeling.

I spent Sunday afternoon with her over Memorial Day and spent much of the time with my jaw clenched. She wanted my kids and I to spend all weekend with her, so I compromised with a half day on Sunday and she attended the local parade with my kids and me on Monday. When I ask my mom about her volunteer activities, I get a diatribe about how the leaders of the organizations are not doing enough, don’t respond quickly enough to her ideas or emails, and how she refuses to do more than she already is. She quit volunteering at the local food bank because she disagreed with how they were handing out pasta.

Anyway, she renewed her nursing license to help out with covid vaccines. When the boosters were approved for my kids’ age group, she texted me at 8am, 11am and called at 3pm to ask when I was going to sign up my kids so that she could be at the clinic that day. My kids had their booster appointments yesterday evening. We show up and I complete the paperwork. I hold both kids hands as we walk over to get the boosters, and my mom is with us. My oldest sat down, and my mom looked at me and told me to take my youngest (8) away while my son got his booster. I took a step back to give the nurse space to get to my son. My mom then looked at me and said, “No, walk over there with [daughter.]” I asked why. My mom said, “Well, because of [daughter’s] reaction last time.” I looked at my daughter who shrugged and said, “I’m fine here.” So I said, no we are ok. My mom gave me a withering look, and said, “fine” in a tone that I know from growing up was anything but fine. After the appointment, my daughter asked what happened. She said that she was fine with both of her first covid vaccines and didn’t understand why her grandmother told her to leave. I agreed, and said that her grandmother was wrong to say that, and that she has done great with all of her vaccines, and that even if she had cried or anything else, she gets to decide how these things happen.

The way my mom treated my daughter, and me, brought back so many memories of similar experiences. I could see the confusion and upset on my daughter’s face. (To be clear, my daughter handles vaccines like a champ and was great.) My son is definitely my mom’s favorite grandchild and my daughter knows it, even if she can’t articulate it. My older sister was, and is, the golden child, and I am the scape goat. I’ve been in therapy for years to unwind this stuff, and this recent small interaction makes me want to protect my children even more. I think I’m ready to take a bigger step back from my relationship with my mom – now for the protection of my children.

Another how do you do it question-
How do you find time to plan and talk about important things with your partner? I feel like by the time the kids are finally in bed in the evenings we are both to tapped to discuss anything civilly and coherently. Mornings don’t work because he’s out of the house by 6:45am. Weekends we are seldom together since we tag team being on kid duty so we can each catch up on chores and have some adult down time. So we never find the time to do joint life admin stuff and vacations don’t get planned, taxes barely get filed on time, home projects are on the back burner forever, our will is not updated since having two more kids, we still haven’t decided where to send our five year old for Kindergarten next year, not to mention all the financial things…
We do divide and conquer a little, but some things I just want to be more collaborative on and I would like to tackle important things before it becomes urgent and we are missing deadlines. And that list of important but not quite urgent is long and looming.
Thoughts and strategies?

Help me decide? My 5 year old has the option to continue his kindergarten year at the private preschool he’s attended since he was 18 months, or start public kindergarten in the fall. His 15 month old brothers will attend preschool, so a plus would be one drop off. Also it’s very affordable. On the other hand, public kindergarten is 1/4 mile from our house, rated very good, and free. He will attend this same school for 1-4 grade, unless by some miracle we move (we’re not planning to). Hours for preschool and public k are the same. I feel a little silly for spending money to send him to private preschool when we have a free option but honestly I’m a little emotional about my oldest starting “real school” and Uvalde didn’t help. If I were advising a friend I’d say “of course put him in public school: it will be great!” so I don’t know why I’m having a hard time with it.

Re: Eye Contact Post Yesterday
I didn’t make it back to yesterdays comments until this morning. I wanted to thank the commenters who pointed out the difficulty some people have with making eye contact and that it doesn’t mean that they are “shifty.” I appreciate this community for pointing out in a respectful way how older schools of thought aren’t always inclusive. You have given me a reminder to do better with the next generation.

My friend invited me to join them in sending our kid to a cultural school on the weekend (like Chinese school, Hebrew school, etc.). We both have 3-year olds. I looked at the website and it says the school starts with “Pre-K” but doesn’t list an age. Am I being weird in thinking that we should wait a year? I expressed my concern with my friend, and she said “they let us sign up so I assume it’s fine”. I dunno! It’s a not insignificant amount of money. I want to, and I want to get more involved generally with this cultural group (husband grew up doing a similar program, I did not). So I don’t know what my hold up is.

Summer hair question: How are you styling older kids’ hair for the pool? My second grader has fine hair that’s down to her shoulder blades (the first time it’s been this long). Over the weekend, I tried braiding it, and it still turned into a snarled mess. So did a ponytail. I tried putting conditioner in ahead of time, and it didn’t do anything to help, as far as I can tell. She is extremely active, and I think her hair comes loose and then winds around itself, despite my best efforts. I feel like a French braid would be better, but, um, I can’t do them. Yes, even after watching YouTube.

Suave detangler isn’t cutting it, so any recommendations for after-swimming products are appreciated.

I would honestly love to cut a few inches off because I think her hair is too fine to wear long, but she is very attached to her length, has spent a year growing it out, and it feels super controlling to make her cut it.

Bday party logistics question:
I have a bday party for my 4 year old scheduled at a gymnastics place 12-1:30 on a weekend.

Do I service pizza and cake at 1, or just assume people will have eaten and serve cake?

Waiting until 1 for lunch seems too late for young kids. Serving pizza right at noon before they jump seems like a bad idea.

Thoughts?

Popping over here from the regular board – I’m not a mom yet, but a good friend just asked me to be the godmother for her upcoming baby girl. I’m so excited – she’s a close friend and her and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for 2-3 years. I want to get the baby girl something special when she’s born as a keepsake of some kind. I’ll also be doing a basket for goodies for mom (massages, food deliveries, etc). Is there a piece of jewelry or something of that sort you’d have enjoyed receiving for your kiddo as a keepsake? Budget is pretty flexible – she’s one of my closest friends, and I’m living the DINK lifestyle for the next few years until husband is done with his medical residency, so I want to spend on this kiddo and her parents!