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(L-2)
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
due in june says
At my 36+1 checkup yesterday, the Obgyn discovered that DD, who had been positioned correctly for weeks, flipped herself and was now breech. I have to do the pelvic tilt pose twice a day, and if she hasn’t flipped back by next Monday’s checkup, they are going to attempt to flip her manually from the outside at the end of next week. And if that doesn’t work, they’re scheduling a csection for week 38.
I’m so frustrated right now. I was hoping to avoid a c because the recovery time is longer and tougher and DH has no paternity leave and we have a tri-level home. Plus, major surgery. Commiseration? Past experience?
JJ says
Ugh, I’m sorry if it doesn’t go to plan. But if it’s any consolation, I’ve had two c-sections and the recovery was a breeze. I was walking within hours of the surgery and was able to go upstairs in our house on the day I came home from the hospital. You’ll be sore getting in and out of bed every day (and will learn that laughing/coughing is very painful), but walking/climbing stairs/holding a newborn were not issues for me.
mascot says
No experience with c-section, but I did have tearing/slow recovery that made stairs difficult. My solution was to set up a station on the main floor (diapers, clothes, pack and play, etc) so that I came down with baby in the morning and didn’t have to go upstairs again until bedtime.
Lyssa says
My first was breach. I opted against the attempt to manually flip, because it seemed unlikely to work (the doc said about 50% success rate, maybe lower because it was my first and I’m pretty small) and just generally, I don’t know, awkward? I didn’t like the idea of someone pushing on my baby. I’ll admit that the idea of a planned c-section was appealing to me, too.
I had the planned c, and it was really quite good. I’m fairly certain that the real negativity associated with cesareans comes from laboring for hours, then getting an emergency one done, and that planned is usually much, much easier. I know that it’s major surgery, but it did not really feel that way to me – I was up and about (slowly, and with some assistance getting up) in less than 24 hours, and had very little pain. I had no problem climbing stairs or getting around at home. (I was tired and glad to have my husband there so that I could rest, though, so I hope that yours can be there for at least some time.)
So, my advice is to relax as best you can, and accept that you can still make the best out of it even if it’s not ideal. Chances are good that it won’t be as bad as you fear. You can do it!
ATL says
I recently had a c-section due to a breech baby. I was walking ok by the time I left the hospital, albeit very slowly. I also had no problem carrying my baby (although she was small). I live in a two story house and didn’t have a problem going up and down the stairs. It was harder to get up from a chair or bed than it was to walk or go upstairs. Glad to answer any other questions you may have.
Biggest piece of advice if you have one: get up in the hospital when they tell you and practice walking up and down the hall. I cried so hard the first time they made me stand up, but it got easier each time and really contributed to a quick recovery.
Anon says
Sorry for all the stress and worry you’re going through right now!
A few friends have had success with a website called spinning babies; however, in my family the suggestion to ‘flip’ a baby has always been to scrub all your floors on your hands and knees. It’s a very old fashioned way of trying to get the baby to flip, but it can’t hurt!
My best friend tried it because she just wanted to feel like she was doing something, and baby ended up going head down in the middle of the night. Our next step was semi-insane and I seem to remember it involved an ironing board and laying down the stairs and me holding her ankles or something….
JEB says
I had success with the positions from the spinning babies website, at about 36 weeks (if I’m remembering correctly). I felt strange about the external manipulation to flip her from the outside…no good reason for my hesitancy, just didn’t like the idea. I didn’t have a C-section, since she flipped on her own. But from what I’ve heard from others, healing from a planned C-section seems to be far easier than healing after an emergency C-section following many hours of labor, which makes sense.
Good luck!
Newly pregnant says
Sorry to hear about the baby flipping! I’ve heard the same about recovery from a planned C-section versus an emergency C-section. And second the recommendation about spinning babies. I’ve heard it mentioned a few times, most recently in my birthing class to help flip a baby.
MSJ says
You’ve gotten some really sound advice already. I would join the chorus of a c-section is not ideal, but far better scheduled than emergency. I also had a c-section due to a breech baby (plus twins, so low likely hood of flipping). My biggest piece of advice is to start mentally preparing for it if you had your heart set on a v birth. I knew going in that my odds for a c-section were high so I was comfortable with the decision and I have no regrets, but I know many other women that mourn a more traditional birth experience. I also started to focus on the positives of a scheduled c-section (no labor, no tearing, etc). It’s also a time to read up on gentle c-sections (http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2015/03/09/390977656/the-gentle-cesarean-more-like-a-birth-than-an-operation) and if there are any aspects you’d like to incorporate ask your doctor and hospital now.
Jen says
My baby flipped to breach at 38 w, we had a version (successfully) but I ended up with a c-section any way at 41w6d. My next c-section was planned and I have to say I can only describe the experience as lovely — I had duramorph put in my spinal so I only need to take ibuprofen after surgery and I loved not having any narcotics because they made me feel sick after my first one. If you do end up having a planned c-section, they can be really wonderful experiences with minimal to no pain!
dl says
Scheduled c-section here, my recovery was much easier than my sister’s two v deliveries or any of my friend’s unscheduled c-sections … I had a 9.6 lb baby (2 weeks early, thus the scheduled c-section) and could carry him without difficulty immediately, also fine on stairs. I couldn’t return to exercise for 8 weeks (but who would anyway?) Plus for a first baby, it was nice to have 3 days in the hospital before heading home – nurses were available to answer any and all questions related to b-feeding, etc. I was initially hoping for a natural delivery but the c-section really ended up wonderfully for us.
Pigpen's Mama says
Ditto on all of the advice above — having stations on each level (c-section in a three level house here) and starting to walk around (slowly and not too far) early. I had an unplanned c-section, but I didn’t labor very long and was able to recover fairly quickly.
Also, if your bed is even moderately high, get a small step stool to help you get in and out of bed — that was probably the hardest thing for me.
In House Lobbyist says
I would just say that I had emergency c section for breech baby the first time and had to have a planned c section the second time because of the incision I required the first time. The second time was much easier; I healed quicker and my incision looked much better. I found getting out of bed much worse than stairs and I held a pillow over my incision when riding and coughing. I also got colds after each baby and coughing was terrible. But the comment above about managing your expectations is so true. I had a natural birth planned for the first one and was really upset when I didn’t get my ideal birth.
KJ says
Help for a picky eater? My 13 month old is driving me nuts at mealtime, just flinging all her food to the ground or screaming when I put things on her tray. She is rejecting things she previously ate with no problem, and it’s so frustrating. She will reliably eat fruit, but that’s about it and not exactly nutritionally complete. Additional info: she usually eats well at daycare and in restaurants. We don’t do family dinner (I know, I know) because baby goes to bed at 6:30.
Any resources for help with a picky eater this young? The advice I’m finding online seems geared at older toddlers. Since she started self-feeding we have offered a wide variety of healthy food in a low-key way, but it’s not really working. At this point I would be happy if she ate chicken nuggets and mac n cheese but she doesn’t like those either. I swear the next person who says “Just feed her what you eat!” is going to get a throat punch.
Maddie Ross says
No great advice, but commiseration. I found that toddler tastes change fast and are mercurial from day to day. As long as my little one was drinking enough milk and eating something, I usually just tried to let it go. I would continue to offer foods (reliable ones and new ones) each meal and just see what worked. If fruit works, continue to offer that, or cheese, or something else that gets a good reaction along with a new food or two. IMO, she’s too young to worry that she’s a “picky” eater. She’s just a toddler.
mascot says
I agree that this is pretty typical toddler behavior. They have such small stomachs and basically thrive on a diet of fruit, dustbunnies and play-dough, IME. Just continue with offering new and known foods and don’t make a big deal out of rejection. As for family meals, weekend meals and breakfasts accomplish the same thing to model good eating habits. Or sometimes, we feed our child separately, but try to sit with him while he eats and we can talk about his day or whatever.
KJ says
Even more additional info: Baby was diagnosed mild anemia at her 9 month ped visit. Ped said it was OK to discontinue the supplements after her 12 month visit but to try to push iron-rich foods, which, of course, she mostly won’t eat. So that’s another concern.
CHJ says
Our son had anemia too. I think it’s very common with older infants who are just starting solids. We’ve had success getting him to eat spaghetti bolognese (with ground beef), most meats from our favorite BBQ restaurant, and braised brisket. He will also eat green smoothies made with spinach, but only out of my glass, of course.
KJ says
Thanks for this. She will sometimes eat pasta with chopped up meatballs but not always. Spinach was a big no, but I haven’t tried a smoothie. What else do you put in it? It would have to be pretty thin and smooth to work with a sippy cup, right?
NewMomAnon says
My kiddo will eat ANYTHING if it’s either in a noodle or a topping on a pizza. Which means we eat a lot of spinach ravioli, and I *may* have put chopped up spinach on a pizza the other night. Beef and chicken go down well in ravioli form too. For smoothies – can your kiddo use a straw yet? Drinking from a straw is a favorite activity at my house right now. Requires some supervision, though.
But I agree with everyone else – my ped said that some days toddlers will eat like starving wild animals, and some days they will eat almost nothing, and that’s OK. I would just keep talking to your ped and making sure your kiddo isn’t losing weight or any of the other things that could signal a nutritional deficit.
FVNC says
I give my toddler at least one Happy Tots pouch per day, because it’s often the only way she’ll eat fruits and veggies. Many of them (and other pouch brands) have spinach as an ingredient. I like the smoothie idea too….may try it with mine!
CHJ says
You can really put anything in them and then add a bunch of baby spinach to the top of the blender, although I like to keep it in the yellow family so that the whole thing doesn’t turn a murky purple/brown color. Add as much liquid as you need to make it thin and drinkable. Here’s a basic recipe to play with:
1 banana
1 cup fruit (fresh or frozen – pineapple, mango, apples, pears, avocado)
1-2 cups liquid (water, apple juice, orange juice, almond milk)
other flavorful things (cinnamon, candied ginger, mint)
something sweet (honey, dates)
2 cups baby spinach
We also use these straw cups rather than sippy cups for this kind of thing, because the sippy holes can get plugged up:
http://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Straw-Ounce-Count/dp/B0054YZDWC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431451822&sr=8-1&keywords=sippy+straw+cup
Sarabeth says
Late to this, but the best iron-rich foods are seafood (esp clams) and organ meats. We buy frozen clam meat, boil it, dice it finely, and mix it with hummus (which our daughter likes a lot – you could probably put it in pasta sauce or any other savory sauce).
Carrie M says
We are having days like this too. Two things that have worked at times (but not reliably) both involve me giving her more space / independence. So this may not apply if that’s already your feeding style.
If she’s toddlering me, I will put a few different things on her tray and walk away. Sometimes when I’m sitting next to her and encouraging her to eat, I think she starts fighting it and calling to get up just because she knows I want her to sit and eat. When I walk away and pretend to do something else, she gets interested in the food and eats it at her own pace / because she wants to. That said, she has also once fed the dog almost her entire tray when I’ve tried this strategy.
The other thing we’ve tried is giving her a plastic bowl and spoon. She definitely gets less in her mouth, but I think she really likes trying to do it on her own. When she successfully gets some food from the spoon into her mouth, we’ll give a quick yay! for encouragement, but mostly we stay out of it.
Finally, we don’t usually eat together either, but when we do, she definitely likes to eat off of my plate. What if you prepared yourself a plate of her dinner that you could pretend to eat, but really just “share” with her?
Nonny says
+1. I’ve tried all of these strategies too, and they seem to work. I think my toddler’s favourite part of dinner is “eating” her yoghurt. Initially most of it ended up on her face/arms/highchair tray, but she now succeeds in getting most of it in her mouth and if we start out dinner with a bowl of yoghurt that she feeds herself, she is more likely to settle down for the rest of the meal (perhaps because of her sense of accomplishment?).
(Although as an aside, on the weekend my SO bought passionfruit yoghurt because he couldn’t find our daughter’s usual plain yoghurt, and you should have seen the tears yesterday when she found someone had tampered with her yoghurt! Oh my.)
FVNC says
Also have no real advice, but lots of commiseration. My 19 month old went through a similar transition from good(ish) eater to extremely picky around the same time as your baby. At her 18 mo checkup, the pediatrician told me not to worry about her diet, because there is just no way to reason with a baby that young. His advice was to continue offering a variety of foods, but not to pressure her to eat things she didn’t want. That made me feel a lot better.
Some days, my kid eats next to nothing. Other days, she’ll eat a decent amount of food. Unfortunately her diet is fairly unbalanced – breakfast is a pouch, possibly a banana, and a piece of buttered toast; lunch is a few bites of meat (hamburger, meatballs, pre-cooked sausage), grapes, and cheese cubes; dinner is a piece of bread with humus and maybe some vanilla Greek yogurt. What’s frustrating is that there doesn’t seem to be any logic to her likes and dislikes, e.g., she loves humus but will not eat chickpeas. I try to introduce different foods but they’re almost always rejected.
The “feed her what you eat” doesn’t really work for us either. We eat a lot of chilis, stews, salads, etc. — things that she does not yet have the skills to get from bowl to mouth. Also, she doesn’t want them.
Good luck!
CHJ says
Dinner is my son’s worst meal. I think he’s tired, happy to be home and wanting to play, and not terribly hungry. I usually have to give him a “favorite” (cottage cheese, canned pears, etc.) to get him to even consider putting food in his mouth. So what I’ve been doing is putting together a plate with one favorite, one neutral (for him, that’s rice, beans, deli meat, etc), and a scoop of whatever we’re eating. If he starts throwing food, I’ll say “ok, I guess you’re all done,” take the plate away, and put him on the ground to go play. Most days, he’ll eat the favorite and then move on to the neutral, and a few days a week he’ll have some of what we’re eating.
Also, on the throwing, we had good success teaching him to say “all done” when he’s done. Some days he will have half a grape and say “ALL DONE!”, which is frustrating, but other days he’ll actually eat his meal and then say “all done” without throwing his food.
KJ says
Thank you all! It’s nice to know that it’s not just me. You have given me some good ideas to try, but I think it’s clear that the most important thing is for me to take a breath (pour a glass of wine?) and let it goooooo.
anonymama says
Don’t throat-punch me, but sometimes kid is more interested in food that he sees everyone else eating… so you could try to show kid that you are “eating” the same thing and that might make her more interested? (especially if she does eat in restaurants or at daycare, when presumably everyone else is also eating) Try not to get hung up on her being a picky eater, and instead just keep offering her different things. Also, try to give her food when she is hungry (don’t give her snacks or milk right before mealtime). Give her the new food first and let her try it for a bit before giving her the fruit. Also, my kid started to get tired of really plain food and wanted stuff that was actually seasoned, like something I would eat myself. Actually the meat or veggies from soups and stews was usually a hit (thought sometimes messy).
Anon says
She’s eating at school and at restaurants because other people are eating with her. Imagine coming home and someone has made you a meal and then sits and STARES at you while you eat it. Then coaxes you to eat more. Then gets frustrated with you. Also this person is approximately 6 times your size. You’d feel weird, uncomfortable and defiant too. Make yourself a snack, sit down and model some good table manners. If she eats, she eats and if she doesn’t…. she’ll get hungry and eat.
Also, if she eats lunch, pack her the dinner you’d like her to eat at lunch and accept that dinner (a mere 4 1/2 hours later it sound like, not to mention there’s probably an afternoon snack in there, because what American kid doesn’t have an afternoon snack) is her light meal of the day. That should be a relief — something you’re NOT responsible for as a mom.
I’ve spoken with several nutritionists working with failure to thrive kids: What to eat, when and where are parental decisions. How much and whether are kid decisions. Trying to do something else can result in disordered eating.
Pigpen's Mama says
About how long are your kiddos at daycare or are they with a nanny/au pair (or whatever your care situation is)?
Generally my 8 month old gets dropped off at daycare between 8 -8:15 and picked up between 5:30-5:45 five days a week.
I feel like we’re finally in a routine and baby continues to do well at daycare, but I’m just wondering if she’s there for a ‘typical’ amount of time, or longer than most kids.
CHJ says
I think that’s about average for the kids in DS’s daycare. He goes from 7:30-4:30 (I shifted my schedule at work to get out earlier), but most of his friends are there from about 8 or 8:30 until 5:30-6.
FVNC says
Daycare drop off is between 8:15-8:45 am (depending on whether I am going into the office or working from home); pickup is between 5:45-6. I try to have her there for no longer than 9ish hrs, but sometimes it’s closer to 10.
KJ says
Mine is generally there from 8:30 – 5, which seems like a long day to me, but she’s fine and this is what works for our schedules.
JJ says
That’s about how long my kids are at daycare. We generally drop off between 7:45 and 8, and I pick them up between 5:15 and 5:30. My 20-month old wants to go to sleep by 6:30 (he asks to go to bed now), so I have to pick them up that early if I want to spend any time with him.
On bad days, though, or when husband has to pick up the kids (and he works on the other side of town), they may be there until 6ish.
M in LA says
9:30 am to 6:30 pm here. Daycare is open 7-7. I’ve noticed that the financial services folks do 7-4 (we are on the West Coast); the lawyers do 9-6. ;)
anon says
Kids are in daycare/preschool/school from ~8:20/9 to 5/6 (depending on each person’s hours) and with our PT nanny/babysitter until I get home, around 7 or 7:30 most nights. They have all always been in some kind of care situation from basically 9-6 their whole lives, plus at time commuting time before and after official daycare hours.
anne-on says
That sounds about average for office workers. My daycare has a lot of teachers kids, so they tend to get dropped off around 7/7:30 and picked up at 3:30/4. I drop off around 8/8:15 and pick up around 5:15.
Manhattanite says
Nanny. 8am-6:45/7pm. Since DD was 18 wks old.
dl says
10 hours – 630 to 430 from age 11 weeks (he’s 15 months now). Loves school. I tried the other day to have have him ‘walk’ to the car … he kept turning around and trying to go back in. He likes the other kids, and gets to run around all day long – much more fun than he has at home with me, I’m sure.
(former) preg 3L says
Yesterday morning, my mom suggested that my daughter start calling her “mommy” and I could be “mama.” At the time, I just didn’t respond, and my mom laughingly said, “oh just kidding.” But I’m fairly certain that my mom is trying to teach my daughter that she and my dad should be called “mom” and “dad” when I’m out of the house. First, I live with them, so I can’t just have my daughter spend less time with them unless I move out. Second, my mom thinks this is funny, so I really can’t talk with her about it. Third, WHAT THE ACTUAL. Any advice?
mascot says
I’m taking it that the grandparents haven’t picked names for themselves yet? I’d just say you prefer mom/mama/mommy be reserved for you. She can have any of the grandparent variations- meme, nana, grandmommy/ma, gigi, grandlady, nona, etc or what ever name she wants that isn’t reserved for you. Your child knows that you are her mother, regardless of what she calls you or anyone else. But, it’s okay to say that you are bothered by this and don’t find it funny. You are the parent, you have to set limits on things that really matter to you, yes it is hard with your own parents but no less important.
Nonny says
My goodness. This would make me so mad. Can you tell your mom straight out that it is not funny to you and to please cease and desist? I really think this is the only thing you can do. She ought to know that this is unwelcome.
(former) preg 3L says
She (and my dad) were perfectly happy being “grandma” and “grandpa” until about a month ago. They went to Florida for 10 days, came back, and my (then-14-month-old) baby was clearly attached to me(rightfully) and was apprehensive about them. My mom flipped out that, “OMG SHE DOESNT REMEMBER ME” and since then, has been referring to herself and my father as “mom” and “dad”. Whenever she does that, I correct her. When she said that yesterday morning, I just said nothing, shocked. She quickly said, “HAHA JUST KIDDING.” but like, she isn’t kidding.
Newly pregnant says
Wow. I would not be happy! I imagine your mom is going through some emotional stuff right now if she’s trying to get your daughter to call them mom and dad, but I would not be okay with that.
mascot says
At that age, kids can get some serious stranger anxiety (even with family) so you might want to remind your mom of that. I feel like my parents have selective memory about all those different developmental stages and act like my child is doing something different than the norm.
Pigpen's Mama says
Ugh — that’s not okay.
Any chance you could ask your dad to say something to your mom? Depending on your family dynamic, he wouldn’t even have to say it’s coming from you. In theory being straightforward about boundaries is important, but since you’re living with them, that’s easier said than done.
Lorelai Gilmore says
Grandma: “Haha, call me Mommy!”
You: “Mom, that’s ridiculous, stop it.”
Short, decisive. Call her on how ridiculous this is. If being emphatic and dismissive doesn’t do the trick, sit her down and say, “Mom. I love you. The baby loves you. You have a special relationship with her as her grandmother. But you are NOT HER MOTHER and I don’t want her to call you Mommy. She knows you and loves you as Grandma and that’s how it’s going to be. This “joke” where you encourage her to call you “Mommy” is not funny, and it is eroding all of our relationships in this household. Stop it. THE END.”
NewMomAnon says
My kiddo is transitioning to the toddler class from the infant class at daycare, and it is not going well. I am really surprised – she likes to do things herself, she is very social with her classroom friends, and I just thought it was a no-brainer when daycare suggested moving her up. I find myself feeling really guilty about it, even though daycare has a plan to help her transition and I know they all love her and want her to succeed. Basically, she is struggling with the idea that she doesn’t have one-on-one adult interaction constantly in toddlers; she wants an adult near her and playing with her at all times, and that isn’t how toddlers works at my center. It’s more about playing with adult supervision and interacting with peers. (BTW: I would LOVE it if she could learn to play more independently).
Reassurance? Advice? The idea of her having massive stress tantrums alone in the corner of the toddler room is making me so sad…even if she is only in the toddler room for half an hour at a time.
Noelle says
My kiddo just transitioned to the toddler room from infant class, and we’re having the same issues and it sounds like our kids have similar personalities. The daycare instructors told me I just need to give her more time to get used to the transition (they suggested about a month), so that’s what I’m going to do. Is your daughter crying all the time? My daughter apparently freaks out in the morning (when dad drops her off) and periodically throughout the day (but not constantly). I have to believe these freak-outs will subside with time….
R says
See if your center can do a phased approach. My center phases from baby to toddler for 3 whole months (they’re not officially in toddler until 15 months old). It starts with just an hour a day, for whatever is their favorite activity, and then gradually lengthens until they’re spending the entire day in toddler. The transition from toddler to 2s is just one month, and then the rest of the classrooms are one week.
R says
Oops, it must have cut off.
Anyway my center tries to emphasize the activity – “Let’s go next door to draw with markers!!!” “Let’s listen to Miss Susie read The Pout Pout Fish!” “Let’s go play with the dress up clothes!!” – and then explain they’ll come right back to the baby room afterwards. It helped my kids to know there was a definite end to the activity, and what was happening next. As the kids built up a trust with the new teachers, they were a little less likely to stress out over the rest of the changes.
The teachers gave us the plan for each week, so then at bedtime, SO and I emphasized the toddler activity. “Oh you got to draw with MARKERS??? How fun!! What a great day you had!!! I wonder if you’ll get to listen to a story tomorrow?? Wouldn’t that be FUN?”
Plus, work slowly to practice independence at home. Set her up with pots and pans in the living room while you make dinner. Ask her to go get a book from her bedroom and bring it to you on the couch. Let her play in the dirt while you just go “check” on the other side of the yard/park. My kids needed a lot of practice and encouragement. (And now they have no qualms about running away from me in a store, so maybe we practiced too much.)
TBK says
There’s a daycare just a block from my work and even though we’re very happy with our au pair, I thought I’d check it out, maybe for when the kids are 2. I thought I knew how expensive daycare was here but I had no idea! It would cost $51,000/yr for our twins! Fifty-one thousand dollars. Our au pair costs half that, including her room and board, phone, car insurance, Metro card, English classes, and probably even counting the random incidentals and gifts we give her. When they’re closer to 3 it would drop to $38,000, but that’s still so much more than we pay now! Sorry, I realize no one is surprised that daycare is expensive in downtown D.C., but wow.
anne-on says
Ha, that’s actually cheaper than the $2500/month I’ve been quoted per child in some places. Thank god our daycare center is $1300/month, for a while there my husband and I seriously thought the decision would be pay the mortgage or pay the childcare bill.
Anonymous says
In a close-in NOVA suburb, and we’re looking at $2350/month for one. I wish we had space for an au pair.
anonymous says
In Brooklyn: $31k. This is approximately the same as college tuition when I went about 15 years ago, begging the question: do you get more from one year of a liberal arts education or one year of FT daycare?