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When my oldest was born, I rallied against nursing tops as an invention of the baby industrial complex. The second time around, my views have moderated a bit. The Jane’s buttery soft and warm fabric feels delightfully smooth and cozy. And of course, no more fumbling with my top during midnight feedings.
In those blurry weeks right after my youngest was born, I even wore them as “going out” pajamas — with a long, contrasting cardigan, it encapsulated column dressing.
The pajamas currently come in four earthy colors. (I have black and a blue that looks lighter than what’s pictured online.) I love them so much that I plan on wearing them long after I’m done nursing.
They are $49.99 at Kindred Bravely and are available in sizes S–XXL. Jane Maternity & Nursing Pajamas
Sales of note for 12.11.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Holiday sale up to 50% off; up to 40% off selected designer styles
- Ann Taylor – 40% off your full-price purchase & 50% off full-price outerwear
- Banana Republic – 40% off your purchase; up to 40% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything; Gap Inc. cardmembers take extra 25% off
- Eloquii – 50% off everything until 4 p.m. EST; 45% everything from 4 p.m.–12 a.m. EST
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off almost everything; extra 60% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – Sleepwear from $19; 60% off everything else & free shipping (readers love the cashmere)
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles; sweaters starting at $20
- Summersalt – Up to 60% off select styles (this reader-favorite sweater blazer is 30% off)
- Talbots – 40% off your regular-price purchase; 50% off all T by Talbots; extra 50% off all markdowns
- Zappos – 34,000+ women’s sale items! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 60% off sitewide; up to 70% off clearance
- Crate&kids – Free shipping sitewide; up to 50% off toy + gift event; free monogramming for a limited time (order by 12/15)
- Graco – Holiday savings up to 35% off
- Hanna Andersson – 50% off sitewide; free shipping on all U.S. orders
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 50% off almost everything; up to 60% off sale styles
- Old Navy – Clearance deals from $2.99; 50% off all jeans for the family; 30% off your order, even clearance
- Pottery Barn Kids – Up to 50% off playroom furniture, toys, and Anywhere Chairs; up to 40% off stockings
- Target – 30% off select baby, toddler & kids’ clothing, shoes & accessories; up to 50% off select Nintendo Switch, PlayStation & Xbox games
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
Looking for Christmas ideas! When I was a kid one of our neighbors would throw stones on our roof on Christmas Eve- it sounded just like reindeer hooves landing, my brother and I would run to bed, and it was SO MAGICAL (obviously we didn’t find out till we were older that it was a neighbor and not actually Santa arriving). Unfortunately our current house doesn’t lend itself to anything like that, even though we have willing neighbors! Does anyone else do anything similar with Santa coming or arriving? Looking for ideas in a similar vein. Thanks!
AnonATL says
We did that when we were kids too! I also had a family member who would get one of those blinking red safety lights, put it on a long pole, and walk past one of the back windows after it was dark (pretending to be rudolph).
Anon says
We always say that Santa won’t land until we’re all asleep.
But if you want to do something similar and have willing neighbors, can one ring a jingle bell outside as the reindeer flying by?
anon says
+1! My mom did this when we were kids. We LOVED it.
Anonanonanon says
Haha my mom did this but the jingle bells were incentive to scare us to bed or santa wouldn’t come because we weren’t asleep
Does NORAD still do the santa tracker?
anne-on says
Do you do St. Nicholas day? We’re of Austrian/German background and us kids all LOVED the tradition of being able to put out shoes/a plate/stocking ‘early’ and getting our small gifts that day.
Daycare sent home ‘reindeer food’ when my son was small and he really liked sprinkling that in the yard and leaving out carrots (that the squirrels and critters dutifully gnawed on for him!).
Anon says
Aw that is so awesome! Glad you asked because this is on my mind – last night there was a thump from above while we were eating dinner. We were all in the dining room, including the dog, so still have no idea what caused it (?) but in the moment I mentioned maybe it was the Elf arriving. Kids loved that and sure enough Elf was here today!
Not sure I want more unexplained thumps in my house though! But this one was perfectly timed.
Anonymous says
We would throw carrots outside for the reindeer as a kid. My parents would go out after bedtime and nibble on them a little bit.
mascot says
::raises hand:: Checked that off my parenting bingo card a few years ago. Don’t do the indoor foot prints/hoof prints though even if they say the paint is removable- my friend had a terrible time getting them off her hardwood floors. I fear we are in the waning years of Santa for my kid so I’m trying to soak it all in.
anon says
Bless anyone who can pull this off. I don’t think I could keep up the ruse; hiding the packages until the kids have been asleep for several hours is hard enough!
katy says
We were obsessed with the NORAD santa tracker when we were kids. I remember listening to the updates on the radio when we drove home from the family friends we always spent xmas eve with.
Anonymous says
My sister and I still track Santa on NORAD as adults. It is magical!
Nanny Token Gift says
I could use an idea for a Christmas gift for our nanny. She is a member of the family. Aside from giving her a very generous cash bonus, I’d love to give her something small “from” our 2.5 year old daughter. She’s very artsy/crafty and is always making things with hand prints and whatnot for us and I really think she’d appreciate something with DD’s picture or handprint or something a little more personal, albeit small.
Any great ideas? This is just not my area of expertise. I unfortunately don’t have a great picture of the two of them, otherwise I’d frame that. I know Shutterfly and the like are chock full of knick-knacks and whatnot. Anyone have something wonderful before I go down a hellish rabbit hole of DIY pinteresty searching? Don’t get me wrong – I definitely want to do this for her and I know she’d genuinely love it, but I’m way more of an Excel-brain than a Michaels-craft-store brain. TIA!
Anon says
Not super creative, but we gave DD’s infant-toddler room daycare teachers finger paintings with her handprint (in addition to cash) when she left the classroom, and they seemed really touched. I think a photo would work too, even if it’s just your kid and not both of them.
anon says
One of my favorite simple kid crafts were handprints on construction paper cut out in imperfect circles and glued/taped to pipecleaners to look like a little bouquet of flowers. You can put them in a small bud vase.
Anon says
We do handmade gifts for the grandparents every year. I’m not crafty but the kids and grandparents love it.
Around age 2, we had my son use fabric markers on a kitchen tea towel. We got a blank tea towel from Michaels or Joanns or something, drew the outline of a Christmas tree and the year, and then let him “decorate” to his hearts content. It turned out really cute and the grandmas still put it on their stove every year. My one tip is to stretch the fabric a bit and tape it down to the work surface (with newspaper or something underneath in case the marker bleeds) so the markers don’t drag as much on the fabric.
Other ideas we’ve done: handprints on an apron, pom poms decorating a picture frame with a picture already in it, homemade soap, and drawings turned into shrinky dink keychains. We also tried sharpies on mugs but the paint rubbed off fairly quickly.
Anon says
We gave our nanny a locket one year. I have to confess though – I’m sure she LOVES your DD, but our nanny was touched we left it blank so she could put in pictures of her own family. Similarly one year we gave her an envelope with tickets to an event of interest in it and as she was opening it she guessed “oh and a picture of me and [DD]” – and when she saw it was tickets she was tickled. I think she has enough time bonding with our kids that giving her something that’s all about her makes her know we notice her.
We’ve given her bedroom slippers, the locket, the tickets, a funny array of socks (including a set to match my kids) picked out by the kids, gift certificate to Ulta because she likes makeup… this year we’re giving airpods.
Anon says
DD brought home from preschool last year a wooden frame that has rocks glued to it and a picture of her inside holding a sign that says “You Rock”! Corny, but I thought it was adorable.
Anonymous says
I would put the handprints or whatever on a card instead of a tchotchke. Cards are easier to store and more likely to be kept.
Anon says
What about an ornament that your kid makes or paints?
AnoninNY says
Yesterday, my 2 year old, who has pretty advanced language skills, started adding an extra syllable to a lot of one syllable words. For example, he said “gree-un” instead of green and “way-uv” instead of wave. It isn’t with every word but he mostly consistently keeps it up with whatever word he is doing it with. He is still doing this today. I’ve just been repeating what he says with the correct pronunciation, but not making a big deal out of it. I assume it will just go away, but has anyone seen this before or know what might be behind it? Thanks!
Anon says
I think it’s very common. My almost 3 year old has gone through multiple phases of doing this in different ways. I’m not an expert, but my theory is they’re just kind of experimenting and playing around with language. Also if he goes to daycare or preschool he will likely pick up some mispronunciations there. My kid said “yucky” correctly for months and then suddenly started saying “yuck-wee.” I can only assume a daycare classmate says it that way.
Lyssa says
Very common; both my kids did that. We live in the south, but both my husband and I (and all extended family) are northerners and they don’t have much exposure to local accents, so we joked a lot about how the kid had somehow absorbed a southern drawl.
FVNC says
So cute! For a while we lived in the South, and our then-two year old started saying, “Oh mah lawd!”, which he picked up from daycare. Sadly this particular expression is now gone from his repertoire, but it was my favorite for a while.
ElisaR says
adorable…. my only advice is to make sure you record it so you can look back once it naturally goes away and then you can say “awwwwwww”
Anonymous says
It’s a diphthong and both my kids have done it as part of their language development. It’s adorable.
HSAL says
One of my two year old twins had a couple months where he said kuh-lock instead of clock, and I’m pretty sure daycare taught him that so he didn’t go around saying clock without the L. :)
anon says
Huh, my son did that and I chalked it up to someone at his daycare having a thick southern accent (we are in the south, but neither my husband nor I have thick accents). He always said ca-yat for cat. I actually thought it was pretty cute and didn’t realize until reading this post that he’s pretty much grown out of it.
Cb says
Yep, super normal and adorable. I wish my son still said “bun-mi” instead of bunny. Kids language is super fascinating, my son adopted a very London accent for a few weeks. My husband is from London but is very BBC, and we live in Scotland, so we couldn’t figure it out. I joked that he was channeling my SIL who passed away this year and had quite a strong London accent.
AwayEmily says
I wanted to share a very minor kid hack that has been working well for us over the last four months or so in case it’s useful. The kids (4.5 and 2.5) like to listen to music or audiobooks in the car, but always want to listen to different things. I was tired of refereeing whose turn it was, so instead we instituted a rule that we don’t listen to anything until they can agree on it. It is super cute to listen to them negotiating with each other, and I think it’s given them some good, low-stakes practice for working through disagreements (by low-stakes I mostly mean they are strapped in and cannot actually injure each other).
Boston Legal Eagle says
Smart! My kids are always fighting over whose turn it is to pick their preferred TV show. I’m not sure if my 2 year old is capable of negotiation (beyond screaming “[Kid’s name]’s turn!”) but maybe soon.
Anon says
that’s actually quite impressive on behalf of your kids! my sister and i were not quite that mature. i know when we were older (like elementary school age), it became that if the date was an ‘odd’ date, it was my turn to choose bc my bday was an odd date, and an ‘even’ date it was her turn to choose bc hers was an even date (and it took a long time for her to realize that i got to choose for more days than she did per year)
HSAL says
I love that. We’ve got 2 1/2 year old twins and a 5 year old and do something similar. When they pick a show on weekend mornings the majority rules. My oldest quickly learned to pick whichever twin’s show she wanted to watch more.
DLC says
This is so great!
When my brother and I were little, we came up with the idea of “Radio Days” where we alternated who got to pick what we listened to. My brother had Monday, Wednesday, Friday and I had Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I can’t remember what happened on Sunday.
Footloose says
Look. Sunday is God’s day. lf you want to drink beer on God’s day, you need to buy it on beer’s day, which is Saturday.
AwayEmily says
I love hearing all the strategies kids (and parents) come up with to deal with these inevitable conflicts!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Did you all see the recent reports coming out saying schools are shifting policies to bring back younger kids (link to follow)? Finally. This is what we’ve been saying here all along. “The data is becoming more compelling that there is very limited transmission in day care and grade schools” – I hope this means that the next round of shutdowns will not include daycares and elementary schools. Curious if those of you with grade school kids have seen any changing policies with your schools?
Boston Legal Eagle says
https://www.nytimes.com/live/2020/12/01/world/covid-19-coronavirus
Anon says
Public schools in my state still make no distinction between kindergarten and high school. I do think daycares will be exempt if/when my state locks down again, but I think that’s more about daycare being “essential” than about young kids not spreading the virus since daycares are permitted to take school age kids.
Anon says
Our younger kids were supposed to go back in mid-November, but when numbers started trending up, that plug was pulled. I think it’s on indefinite hiatus. My kid is in a special ed speech therapy preschool program through the public school and when I asked if there was any update on that going back in person I was told probably not. Since the public schools reversed on K-2, I doubt our still closed very risk averse private preschool will reopen in January as had been discussed.
Anonymous says
Yes, I’m in NYC and the Mayor just announced Sunday we are prioritizing reopening special ed, pre-k, and elementary schools first. (We had been doing some hybrid learning but public schools shut down about 2 weeks ago when the citywide positive test rate hit 3%). It’s still a mess–hybrid learning is fairly awful, and only the small minority of families who had previously opted in to hybrid learning are eligible to go back when schools reopen on Monday. But I am glad we are moving in this direction. Theoretically, they will now be doing mandatory random testing of about 20% of the student body every week at every school, so the City/DOE has to ramp up testing capacity before they can expand to reopening middle and high schools. It sounds like that won’t happen before January.
Anonymous says
Our school district, which has kids in the classroom full-time with no distancing and some masks-off time in the classroom, has a lot of cases at all levels of instruction. The district is blaming all of the spread on out-of-school activities such as parties and play dates. Elementary school is probably safer than middle and high school simply because the kids are strictly cohorted and class sizes are smaller, but the district is insisting on staying open at all levels as long as possible. It appears that they are waiting for the governor to shut them down and then will blame it on parents instead of admitting that the unsafe conditions in schools are part of the problem.
SLC resident says
SLC, UT school district is planning on bringing back only Pre-K thru 1st grade in Jan because of the tradeoff between (seemingly) low transmission rates in that age range and the risk of learning gaps from zoom school. SLC district has also had both special education & ESL kids in person since last March, so they’re doing something right with at-risk populations.
anon says
Our district has tied themselves up in knots with reopening plans, with absolutely no forward progress. It’s beyond disheartening.
Teachers: We can’t come back in person. It’s too dangerous to have the kids take their masks off for lunch.
Parents: So have the kids eat outside. It doesn’t get that cold here.
Teachers: We cannot each lunch outside because of the risk of school shooters. We cannot take kids outside for lunch because of potential spread as the kids pass each other in the hallways to get to lunch.
Teachers: We can’t go back. If a kid skins their knee at recess and is bleeding, no one will be able to help them because we aren’t permitted within 6′ of a child ever. We’d have to let the kid bleed on the ground until their parents arrive.
Teachers: We can’t go back. If a kindergartener has trouble with their iPad, we’ll have to call their parents to come get them because we can’t get within 6′ of them to help with tech issues. They’re on their own.
Teachers: There will be no movement time during the day because we cannot guarantee students will stay 6′ apart. Students will need to sit at their desks for 6 hours with no breaks. Students who cannot do this will not be permitted to attend.
Teachers: Kids will need to wear masks and say 10′ apart at recess because they breath more heavily while exercising. To keep kids at this distance, they will not be permitted to run around and recess will be limited to 15 minutes per day so we can stagger cohorts.
Teachers: There will be no work on paper if we are in person because of the COVID risk of handing out and picking up papers. All work will be on the screen. No work will be permitted on paper.
Teachers: There can be no art or decorations on the walls of classrooms because they could need to close or reassign classrooms at some point again this year. Classrooms will resemble prisons.
Parents: We cannot go back in person. The school district is planning to use a staffing agency for the quarantine rooms (for kids with COVID symptoms) and these people are likely pedophiles.
Administration: We can’t send K-2 back in person. There aren’t enough buses to socially distance K-12 students on buses.
Administration: We cannot open windows in classrooms to improve ventilation. Some classrooms don’t have windows so opening windows in some classrooms but not all would be inequitable.
I’m not kidding–all of these points have been brought up at school board meetings.
Anonymous says
FWIW most of this stuff came up in our district (in MA) over the summer. Mercifully our school board shut it down. We threw a lot of money at some things (tech, PPE, busses, hvac upgrades, testing) and went hybrid. Fingers crossed knock on wood we are still hybrid. Kids wear masks, go 2X a week. My kid is 8 and plays soccer, lacrosse and tennis- all in a mask. I told her it was no mask no play fully expecting her to quit. She slapped a mask on and didn’t even complain.
Our high school flipped to remote this week temporarily to give a thanksgiving buffer.
Anon says
I wish we could get there. Our district is unable (unwilling?) to test, upgrade HVAC systems, or offer PPE other than 1 fabric mask per teacher. Without those steps we’ll likely still be closed in fall 2021.
Anon says
i know it wasn’t meant to be funny, but your post literally made me lol and brought some humor to my day
Anon says
I wish I was being funny. This is literally the local discourse. Last week there was a debate about whether the tentative reopening plan was equitable because it had aids supervising kids during maskless lunch periods so teachers could take their contracted lunch, such that lower paid aids would have more exposure than higher paid teachers. More of our aids are black/brown so clearly the plan is racist.
Meanwhile, no one is discussing testing or HVAC upgrades. Things that actually keep people safe.
Anon says
Just as a data point, my district brought back the younger kids (preschool – 5th grade) months ago and it’s been going great! They were planning on bringing back older kids, but the current spike ruined those plans. We also reverted back to a stricter protocol in my county, but the restrictions allowed schools and daycares to stay open.
Anonymous says
Are you in MA? We are and while our district has been hybrid since Sept we have not a peep about returning elem full time. Our high school flipped remote for this week.
Anonymous says
My district (in Texas) brought back Elementary and Middle school full time but high schools hybrid, with everyone having an option for learning from home full time. They have had this policy since they brought back kids right after labor day. The rationale was that the high schools are big enough that it would be hard to socially distance (they are enormous).
Anonymous says
Any restaurant or outdoor activity recs for Destin? We’ll be there next week and it looks like the weather will be pretty good (sunny and 60s).
Anonymous says
Boshamps has good food and a lot of outdoor deck space. Destin is known for its fishing- maybe see if any charters have some good rates. A half day trip is perfect for kids. Also, lots of golf.
Clementine says
Ugh. So my husband started to have a slight cough over the weekend. I asked him to wear a mask around the kids, told him to go get a COVID test. He (as he sometimes does) acted like I was being paranoid. “We haven’t seen anyone! You’re exaggerating how much I’m coughing. It’s just when I’m changing positions.”
…This week we got word that one of our kids had a positive case in their class. Last contact was pre-Thanksgiving. He did tell me that I was right, and one of the things that makes our marriage good is that neither one of us holds things over the other’s head.
But like… I really REALLY want to kind of… say I told ya so, don’t be a stubborn pain in my butt? Also, guys… we’ve been pretty locked down except for school/childcare… I feel like unless you’re going to the extreme of having nobody leaving your house, at some point you’re gonna get a ‘close call’ like I have. I’m trying to be kind to myself, but… mom guilt x1000.
Anon says
Why would you have mom guilt? It sounds like if it’s Covid your kids exposed your husband not the other way around. Hopefully it’s not that! we’ve had a few run of the mill colds and coughs. There is other stuff still circulating out there despite the virus precautions.
Clementine says
If it is COVID, it was likely a kid exposed Dad… but the source for the kid was school/childcare… Sometimes I wonder if I should have just stopped working and kept everyone home (yes, I know people who are doing this…)
Anon says
I know people who are doing that too but I don’t feel any guilt about choosing daycare. There are very real mental and developmental effects from keeping kids isolated from all other children except their siblings. And that’s to say nothing of the financial and mental health effects on mom and the whole family from quitting her job and staying home when she didn’t want to do that (no judgment on SAHMs who make that choice but it’s much harder to be a good SAHM when you’re forced into it).
IF this is Covid, you’re experiencing the downside of daycare in a pandemic. But the people who opted out of daycare are experiencing plenty of downsides too – they’re just not as visible to you.
Anon says
Yeah, we all just had a buffet of less-than-great choices.
As an example, I know SAHM who homeschooled, even pre-pandemic. And it still sucks now! Normally, homeschoolers go many places. Being at home literally all the time is just not good.
Anonanonanon says
I’m immunosuppressed so we opted out of daycare and have chosen to have a nanny, and we have had a close call or two regardless. And it’s financially uncomfortable. And stressful for everyone. And there is literally no right answer and no winning and we are going back to daycare in January unless people are actively dying in the streets.
anon says
As someone who isn’t quite doing that extreme but is pretty close, there is guilt on this side, too. We are all trying to pick the best course for our families, but all the choices are pretty sucky.
Anon says
The grass is not always greener. As someone who has been WFH full time with a closed preschool – there is a lot of guilt on this side as well regarding lack of socialization, language development, no peer visits, etc. We’re “safe” from COVID and able to see grandparents a few times a month spacing out visits but I worry every day about all of the other damage my kid is suffering.
Anonymous says
So, did he get the test and wear the mask?
Clementine says
Yep. And is sequestered in another part of the house so I’m solo parenting and WFH 100%.
Anonymous says
So you’re keeping everyone home now until he tests negative?
Clementine says
Keeping everyone home for 14 days from the last possible date of classmate exposure.
Keeping husband away from the rest of us until he tests negative.
Anon says
“He did tell me that I was right, and one of the things that makes our marriage good is that neither one of us holds things over the other’s head.”
Ugh I don’t like that comment from him at all, not in this context. I mean, maybe it’s true historically but it sits badly with me that he’d say that in the same breath as “you were right and I was wrong.” He was wrong and he was being a stubborn child about a highly contagious virus that could put you and your family at risk. You bet I’d say “I told ya so” and then some. I’m not the “I told ya so” type generally, but with COIVD I just have no tolerance for ignorance. You were sending a kid to school/childcare — OF COURSE he could have caught it. The fact he refused to admit that and then tried to make you feel bad for being cautious makes me cringe on your behalf.
Anon says
I read it as he just said “you were right” and the “one of things that makes our marriage good…” part was OP’s commentary.
Clementine says
Yes, that’s what it was. I know I need to let it go, but… I’m really frustrated that he didn’t listen to me and blamed it on me being anxious (which – I mean, it’s 2020, isn’t everybody??) AND it’s being compounded by me having to be the only one parenting while he has to self isolate.
I may tell him he needs to do something like deep clean the basement…
Anonymous says
Um, yes. If either me or DH has to quarantine without symptoms (realistically, it will be him, he works in an office and I don’t go anywhere), that person’s job will absolutely be to sort/purge the basement.
Anon says
I would be mad at daycare that I just now found about an exposure that took place before Thanksgiving! They should have told everyone in the class ASAP, especially with many people potentially gathering for the holiday.
Anon says
+1…but it’s possible the test results didn’t come back until now and daycare wasn’t notified. OP, I’d also get the child/children and yourself tested!
Clementine says
Yes, my understanding is that kiddo was tested over the weekend the results only came back Monday. Daycare notified directly impacted families within 5 minutes of finding out and notified the whole center within 90 minutes. They’re awesome. I mean, they’ve been open for 6 months and this is their first case – they’ve been doing something right!
Secondly – Yeah, we all got tested (recommended because of timing of exposure). We will still quarantine, but it will be good to know. Again, I did it all solo because Husband is self-isolated in the house.
Anon says
This is really really hard. No guilt – just get through it and I hope the rest of you stay healthy and husband is okay.
Anon says
My mom (out-of-state) tested positive for COVID. Asymptomatic. She took a test prior to coming to visit, which I am thankful for. But the numbers, the increasing number of people I know with covid, are becoming truly scary. It’s hitting me that we probably won’t have Christmas together like I had hoped. I am fearful how this may affect her and my dad (both over 65, with pre-existing conditions.) I feel like I was watching Covid from afar, and now it is closing in. I’m just effing sad today. That is all.
Anon says
I’m sorry, that’s so scary! Fingers crossed she and your dad remain well. We had no positive cases in our daycare center until two weeks ago and now we have 7 (!) (allegedly unrelated) so it’s suddenly getting very real to me too.
Christmas will not be normal this year for sure, but the good news is vaccines clearly work and will be distributed in 2021 and I would be very surprised if things aren’t normal or close to it by late summer or early fall, which was not a given at all – if the first vaccines hadn’t worked, we could have easily had 2-3 more years of this. I’ve been pretty pessimistic about this whole situation but the vaccine news has made me optimistic for the first time in a long time. Hang in there.
Anon says
So, I was reading CDC FAQs today and it is recommending that even people who get the vaccine continue to wear masks and social distance because we have no real-world setting data and don’t know how it will play out. I realize knowledge will continue to evolve, but the vaccine is not a panacea. Plus, it’s also a question mark how effective or safe it will be for elderly or sick people, as vaccines are generally developed for and tested in healthy populations. Who knows…
SC says
This is anecdata, but my parents’ friends participated in the Pfizer vaccine trial. They are both around 70 years old, and one of them had been in ICU with heart problems in early March. They’re pretty sure that at least the wife received the vaccine because she had swelling at the injection site, plus a mild fever the following day.
Anon says
The vaccines have actually been tested in lots of older people. 45% of Pfizer’s trial was over 55 and many were in their 70s and 80s! The data indicates it worked just as well in older people as in younger people. It’s unclear how it will work in the very elderly and infirm (like people in nursing homes, who were not included in trials) but that’s a very small group. The experts stressing mask wearing post-vaccine are talking about after the very first vaccine rollouts. Once the majority of the country has been vaccinated, then we’ll have herd immunity, but we’re not going to be there in March when 1/3rd of the country (or whatever the number is) has been vaccinated, so there will be need for people to continue wearing masks until the vaccine has been widely distributed, which will be likely be late summer or fall. Fauci and others have explained this numerous times, that a vaccine is not a silver bullet until enough people get vaccinated that we have herd immunity, but that is almost certain to come by late 2021 (especially considering how many people now have some underlying immunity due to natural infection). It’s also worth noting that the vaccines – even the less effective Astra Zenaeca – so far seem essentially 100% effective at preventing severe illness, which is the real goal. Getting a cold or flu-like illness if the vaccine “fails” is really not that big a deal; the goal is to prevent hospitalizations and especially deaths.
Also, for me at least, getting back to normal is about getting back to hugging my parents and traveling and putting kids in activities, not whether or not I do these things with a tiny piece of cloth on my face. I don’t really care if I have to wear a mask in public for the rest of my life (although I’m confident the virus will be so controlled by fall 2021 that no one wears masks anymore).
anon says
I’m going to beg and plead with you to cancel your Christmas plans with your parents, even though it will feel terrible. I just lost my FIL to COVID, and it’s been painful in ways I could not imagine. He was very careful but this stuff is every.where.
Clementine says
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
OG Anon says
Thank you. I am so sorry for your family’s loss. Yes, it is looking like we will cancel. I appreciate you sharing here and I am sending you a non-creepy, internet stranger hug.
Anon says
I am so sorry for you loss.
Anonymous says
Right there with you. my sister got it a while ago but she’s a clinician and was working in a hospital with an outbreak- so we knew it was only a matter of time.
But my 60 year old aunt with asthma just got it (she thinks from a coworker- she’s working mostly from home but does have to go in occasionally and that’s the likeliest place of exposure). She’s flat out in bed but the most scary thing is that she was supposed to go see my grandma (95) the week she had been exposed– and she only didn’t because she ended up working too late and then the week got away from her. She was one meeting away from exposing my grandma to covid.
annonny says
My almost 12 month old has suddenly abandoned good naps. He was never a great napper, maybe two 1 hour-75 min naps a day. But now his morning and afternoon naps are clocking in around 30-45 minutes. This is a phase right? He has recently started walking, and I know milestones disrupt sleep . . . but for how long?! Short naps are killing us. His night sleep is still pretty good.
Anon says
It might be a phase but also he might be ready to go to one longer nap. I think 1.5 hours total of nap is well within the range of normal for a 1 year old who sleeps 12 hours at night. Good night sleepers tend to be bad mappers in my anecdotal experience.
ElisaR says
agree, he might be ready to consolidate the naps. Once we consolidated…. napping got much better. it was like my boys weren’t quite tired enough for a good morning nap but were really ready and sleepy by mid-day.
NYCer says
How long does he sleep at night? If he is sleeping 12 hours (or even 11 hours) at night, 1.5 hours of daytime sleep is in the range of normal for a one year old. I think the range for total sleep for 1-2 year olds is something like 11-14 hours.
That being said, 30 min naps are rough for mom! Hopefully this will pass and/or you can consolidate to one longer nap in the coming months.
annonny says
He sleeps about 11 hours without waking up. Ugh, I was worried y’all were going to tell me this is normal! :) His sister made it to at least 14 months before she dropped the first nap. He’s about 2 weeks shy of a year old. I guess if this doesn’t change in the next week or two, we’ll try switching to just one (hopefully long) nap a day.
Anon says
Are any of you seriously involved with a non profit in your community (on a board for example?) I would really like to do some more service in my free time but not sure how to go about it – in terms of identifying a good charity to work with, and also a good opportunity – I’m happy to give money but as someone in NYC relative to others I am not a “donor” in a position to give six figures a year.
Anonymous says
If you don’t have a specific volunteer organization in mind, perhaps reach out to United Way since they support a bunch of agencies? Also, Junior League is a good organization for service and leadership opportunities but could be more involved than you are looking for.
Anonymous says
Call New York Council of Nonprofits. The organization that is like them in my state would help you identify how to find a good organizational match and possibly point you towards a webinar on being an effective board member.
Anonymous says
I work for a nonprofit in NYC. If you have the time, you could probably be a board member at a smaller organization, where giving expectations would be lower. E.g., I used to work somewhere with an annual budget of about $2.5 million, and Board members were expected to give or secure donations totaling $5,000 annually. Smaller organizations generally will expect less of a $$ commitment than bigger ones.
Here is a list of organizations that offer “board matching” services in NY to help nonprofits connect with good Board members:
https://boardsource.org/fundamental-topics-of-nonprofit-board-service/composition-recruitment/board-recruitment/board-posting-matching-programs-by-region/#New-York
One of them may be able to help you find a good match. But start by thinking about what you really care about – you will be most useful to the organization if you are genuinely passionate about what they do. Good luck!
Cb says
The Anxious Overachiever podcast had a really good discussion on Covid, motherhood, and mental health. Worth a listen.
Anon says
Anyone able to give me some advice on how to set up our house when baby comes if we are still WFH during my maternity leave? Baby is due in April. DH’s office has hinted to him that they will probably be WFH until everyone is fully vaccinated, which would put him home through the summer at least. We have four rooms in our house: (a) master bedroom, (b) DH’s current office, which will be the nursery, (c) guest bedroom, which is currently my office, and (d) great room (kitchen/living area). We are planning on (at least trying) to have baby sleep in a bassinet in our room for the first few weeks/months. My current preference is to keep DH’s office in the nursery and have baby sleep elsewhere during work hours, have a few toys in the living area, and then sleep in either our room or the nursery at night. This allows family to (hopefully) come visit and use the guest room and me to be able to sleep in the master during work hours if needed. Feedback? Thoughts? Am I crazy thinking baby doesn’t need it’s own dedicated room 100% of the time during this time?
Anon says
Sounds good to me. A newborn definitely does not need their own room.
octagon says
We kept baby in bassinet in our room for close to 4 months, so I think you will be fine planning to keep DH’s office in the future nursery. My only suggestion is to make sure that your guest room has a fully functional bed and is set up for sleeping including a white noise machine, because on nights when baby is having a rough time, one of you should decamp to get a full night’s sleep. And consider whether there’s another space (aerobed in the nursery?) where one of you could sleep if your guest room has actual guests in it.
OP says
Thanks– we actually have an extra bed in the nursery that we are hoping to keep there if there is room– so being able to have one person be in the room w/o the baby when we have guests shouldn’t be an issue. We also have an air mattress if we can’t keep the bed.
Boston Legal Eagle says
A baby does not need their own room for the first few months. My kids took their naps near me in the living room for the first few weeks. A lot of babies only nap in carriers/in motion. Tell your DH to invest in some good noise cancelling headphones!
AnotherAnon says
I think this is a great plan. Ours slept in our room for the first six months. He napped in the living room – he liked noise and I liked having him close by. Just a little reminder that was helpful for me: babies change so fast. If something isn’t working, or it works for two weeks then stops, try something new! I feel like I adjusted our schedule 100 times until he turned two. At 3.5 I’m still making adjustments. Congrats!
AnonATL says
We have a just over 4 month old. He slept in our room in a bassinet until he outgrew it at 12 weeks. At that point, we decided to move him to his room in the crib. It coincided with a bad sleep regression and so we sleep trained as well. My kid was also a very noisy sleeper for the first 3 months of his life which made me eager to move him. Even with white noise, he grunted and thrashed around enough to keep me up.
If we hadn’t moved him to the crib at that point, he would have been in the pack n play in our room. He has done just fine in the pack n play for the couple of overnights spent with family since his birth. Baby doesn’t really need their own room for a while.
We did try to do one nap a day in the crib from the start, but I don’t think that’s critical until closer to moving to the nursery fulltime. All other naps were wherever he fell asleep, most often on me.
My only other suggestion would be having some sort of changing station basket you could move from room to room so you aren’t constantly going into the nursery/office for a change. Newborns poo after almost every feed, so there are lots of diaper changes at the beginning.
Anon says
I have a male coworker who is clearly working out of his newborn baby’s nursery, including sometimes taking zoom calls while baby is napping in the nursery. He wears good headphones and has a mic that allows him to talk very quietly and doesn’t pick up the white noise machine (which he does anyway, he’s soft spoken). It wouldn’t work for all babies, but it works for his. My daughter never napped in her nursery; she would nap only while being held. So an office in her nursery would have been just fine.
Anonymous says
My 18 month old sleeps, at night, in the same room that I work in during the day, and has since March. He naps in a pack n play in a different room. He actually started napping much better, because the other room is much darker. That room is also a guest room, so he sleeps elsewhere in a pack n play when we have visitors, even during normal times.
All of my kids slept in our room for the first 6-7 months. We don’t keep many toys in the kids’ bedrooms, and we have minimal decoration in the kids rooms. None of us spend a lot of waking time in the bedrooms, so we prioritize decoration and toys in the common areas.
DLC says
Thought I would share- if you are looking for a Christmas themed audiobook, this weekend we listened to The Best Christmas Pageant Ever read by Elaine Stritch and it was hilariously heartwarming. My eight year old laughed uproariously the whole way home and I’m glad I wasn’t driving or I would have had to pull over.
Mary Moo Cow says
Thank you! We just got both the picture book and novella versions put the library, but I’ll look for this. This was one of my favorite books for years as a kid and I’m so happy to finally share it with my kids.
octagon says
Oh my goodness, I remember watching the tv movie as a child and it was so funny.
So Anon says
Last week, I found out that I have a significant inheritance from my grandmother in the form of a mix of cash, stocks and mutual funds. I opened an account at the bank used by my grandmother on Saturday, and the inheritance was deposited yesterday. I had absolutely no idea that this was coming, and I need solid financial advice. (Single mother, sole provider, etc.) I am not asking for specific advice, but how do I find someone to give me advice? This is the first time that I am in financial territory that is other than pay off student loans, max contribution to retirement fund territory.
Anonymous says
You need a fee-only planner who is a fiduciary.
FVNC says
As a starting point, did your grandmother have a financial planner? If so, that person could help you get a handle on the portfolio and then you could decide if you want to keep working with him/her once you have an overall picture of your assets. In any case, you can search for a fee-only financial planner (which I agree is what you need) on napfa.org.
I’m sorry for the loss of your grandmother.
Anonymous says
+1. Also check with friends to see if they have an adviser they trust.
SBJ says
If you’re in Maine-Cindy O’Rourke at Spinnaker Trust.
https://www.spinnakertrust.com/who-we-are
Anon says
I am happy for the good news for you!
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