I’m thrilled to introduce the newest member of our writing staff, Ann! She has a daughter (born winter 2014) and a son (born fall 2019) and is a public interest lawyer in Washington, DC. Ann will be choosing our morning picks every weekday — a big, warm welcome to Ann. – Kat
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Partner Exodus says
Can anyone speak to leaving a law firm as a junior partner to be a principal at a big four accounting firm? lifestyle? pension? buy-in? interest of work?
I’m in the beginning exploration with two Big4 firms. It seems a bit too good to be true.
Cb says
What’s on your kid’s Christmas list this year?
We’re keeping T’s (3) fairly minimal – a few additions to his railway, some play kitchen accessories that he’s been asking for, and a 00 gauge railway as his big present (although unclear if this is more for my son or my husband). Oh and an old school turtle sandbox as our DIY solution finally cracked.
We’re also trading in his balance bike for a pedal bike – but it won’t arrive until a week after Christmas. We have to meet the courier outside with the old one and make the swap so it’s slightly less exciting than finding it under the tree.
Anonymous says
My child is now old enough to understand the Target (and other) catalog and circle what she wants. So basically, the entire Target catalog is on her list. We’re working on narrowing it down this afternoon. Wish us luck.
rosie says
This happened to us with the Lakeshore Learning catalogue.
Same same says
The American Girl catalogue was our downfall. Also it includes a $650 van that my dd was very interested in until she saw a pink car… that’s pre-order for January (thanks AG) once you go to the website! Luckily found a Target knockoff but whew.
Anonymous says
I throw the AG catalogue directly into the recycling bin and cover it up so it doesn’t get noticed and retrieved.
anon says
We’re perhaps doing a bit more than usual, with a focus on things that will keep the kids busy through the dreary months of January and February. Schools are fully remote and the kids are not in any activities because of COVID. They need stuff to do.
My 7 yo has requested a pottery wheel, so I got her a nice-ish one rather than one out of a kids art kit. We should have fun making pots and watching YouTube videos to figure it out. She also likes building, so we put together a woodworking kit from Home Depot with real tools, including a saw, hammer, nails and electric screwdriver. Her dad is looking forward to building with her, but we do want her to be able to build her own creations without adult intervention, too. I think her grandparents are getting her Harry Potter legos.
My 4 yo is harder. She’s asked for an American Girl doll, so she’ll get that. I’ve also found her a couple of art kits. Any other ideas welcome, but we’re pretty set on toys for this age group so she’s hard.
Another set of grandparents are getting the girls a keyboard. They’ll be starting virtual piano lessons in January.
Anon says
do you already have accessories/play things for the doll? the target 7th generation sets work just as well. sounds like a cool gift for your 7 yo!
Anonymous says
Despite seeing both the Target and Amazon toy books (and wanting to show us all the Frozen things in them), every time we ask my 4 year old what she wants she says “cookies!”
Anonymous says
When mine was 2, she asked for a sandwich.
Cb says
Ha! My son said he’d leave out carrots, cookies, and wine. Guess he knows daddy is Santa!
Anonymous says
I asked my kids (3, 5) what they wanted and they both said Christmas lights “outside and on the tree.”
anon says
My 4 yo asked for a real dragon that she can ride on to fly around the neighborhood.
My 7 yo asked for a COVID vaccine.
Anonymous says
That’s totally fine! Just wrap up a stack of boxes with like a dozen cookies in each – different kinds. You can freeze a bunch and she can enjoy them all
Winter.
I had to do something similar the year my kid asked for ‘lots of post-its’ – each box had three sizes in the same color.
Anonymous says
OMG – post its. My LO would be in heaven!!
Anon says
My two year old is asking for blueberries. Done and done.
Anonymous says
Last year, my two-year-old nephew asked Santa for “Two!” Either he wanted two presents, or he thought Santa was asking how old he was.
Boston Legal Eagle says
More trains sets and accessories for our 4.5 year old. Also a couple of puzzles and coloring books. Little people and food accessories for the play kitchen for our 2 year old. Basically the goal is to add on to what they already have this year. We got a big set of magnatiles earlier this year, which have been a big hit with both.
Anon says
This is so fascinating to me. My kid (3) doesn’t watch TV with toy ads – it’s PBS kids, disney plus, netflix, etc. And we don’t get catalogs in the mail, so I don’t think it’s even occurred to her to ask for something (counting my blessings!). She also has everything she could ever want, as the only grandchild on both sides, so maybe that’s it. In any event, here is what Santa is bringing for her: A play coffee maker for her kitchen, just like her parents’, a play stand mixer for her kitchen (she loves to use the real one when helping cook), high ho cherry o, a real (nylon) knife set for the big kitchen, some new dresses, socks, undies and PJs, and a few new books. I think the grandparents are getting her a play tent and possibly some doll furniture, and I’m sure things they haven’t told me about.
Cb says
I found the cutest coffee / tea maker and it’s disappeared from the site where I found it. Hoping it might reemerge before Christmas. It had little wooden tea bags and slices of lemons.
SBJ says
This set doesn’t have the lemon slices, but it does have the wooden tea bags: https://www.melissaanddoug.com/wooden-steep-and-serve-tea-set/9843.html
I got it for one of my nieces several years ago and it was definitely loved!
anon says
Melissa and Doug always come through don’t they?
TheElms says
You can get fake lemon slices on Amazon – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08PB8BV9Q/ref=sr_1_28?dchild=1&keywords=toy+lemon+slice&qid=1606761696&sr=8-28
Anon says
I’m amazed you don’t get catalogues in the mail. We started receiving all kinds of kids toy and doll catalogues totally unsolicited, we’ve never purchased from any of the companies we get catalogues from. That said, my 3 year old doesn’t know to ask for stuff yet either. She likes looking at the catalogues but I don’t think she understands they’re selling stuff you can buy. She thinks it’s more like a book that tells a story with pictures. She calls the American Girl catalog “the baby magazine” and asks to read it all the time.
anon says
We don’t watch TV with ads either, but at 4 my kids now get the concept of “buying stuff” — they stop to look in store windows, ask for books advertised on the back page/back cover of other books, etc. Just you wait! ;)
Anonymous says
Yeah, this is definitely more of an age thing than anything.
rosie says
Yes, reading a book is not complete without looking through the list/pictures of other books on the back cover and saying if we have them or not. My child is 3 but she’s done this for awhile. I used to tell her we would look for it at the library, although now we’re not going b/c of COVID. I’m happy she’s interested in more books, and I’m trying to encourage that interest in reading the books versus having books for the sake of having stuff.
Anon says
Ha, I posted above before I got this concept – totally agree age 4 is the tipping point. And you’re so right about he pictures on the back of the book!
Anonymous says
Yes, we also get all kinds of unsolicited catalogs, which my 6 year old daughter calls “magazines” and loves. Lands End Kids, Lego, Mindware, American Girl (I hide that one if I see it first), and Target.
We typically don’t watch TV with ads either, but my kids were watching some actual TV channel the other day and my 4 year old adorably came to tell me the TV was broken, it was showing him commercials instead of his cartoon.
Anon says
Eh wait until next year – four is when lists started at my house for both my kids. I’d be shocked if many kids on this board watch commercials. It’s really an age thing, at least IME. But how do you avoid catalogues? We got amazon and a bunch of others, oof.
We also don’t buy them presents throughout the year so anytime they see something they want we say “add it to your christmas list!” so that’s become a thing too. I actually find it very helpful!
I think the real knife set sounds cool! I’m going to try to find one for my cooking obsessed kid. I tend to fill the stocking with useful stuff (new toothbrushes!) and consumables (crayons!) so your new undies comment speaks to my heart. We’re giving them new masks in their stockings this year too!
10:13 Anon says
I don’t know what I did to stay off the toy catalogs, but the only catalogs we get are for business equipment (leftover from when DH ran his own business) and clothes (including many brands I’ve never purchased from). I wonder if it’s because we have an unlisted phone number (due to DH’s job) and almost never shop in person (due to my crazy job that doesn’t have time for that), so maybe we stay off some of the mailing lists? Or maybe because the grandparents buy most of the toys and have them shipped to their houses so the world thinks we don’t buy many toys? Not sure, but I am thankful!
anon says
I actually think it’s buying online or looking things up on your phone that gets you catalogues, not shopping in person. I bet it’s the unlisted phone number. We get catalogues for toy stores we’ve never bought from for sure…
Anonymous says
I think it’s browsing the websites. Every time I check out a new brand on the web, I get a catalogue in the mail a few days later. It’s creepy.
Anon says
Buying online gets you on lists for sure (moreso than in stores I think), but some retailers also sell customer lists. I’ve never purchased or even browsed American Girl or Hanna Andersson but I started getting catalogues for both at eerily appropriate times (Hanna when my daughter was ~6 months, AG when she was almost 3). I can only assume that another retailer sold our info to them. Or if you register for things like formula samples when you’re expecting, you may get on lists that way, and then they know the rough age of your child (assuming your pregnancy is carried to term). It’s totally creepy.
SC says
My 5-year-old asked for a model train. I just ordered him the Lionel Pennsylvania flyer (battery operated–we’re not ready for electric yet). DH and I will probably also buy him a new bike. I’ve picked up a new board game, some books, and some large sets of crayons and markers. Relatives are buying Legos.
anon says
My kids keep updating their lists, but as of now they have asked for and will get:
-accessories for our train set (kiddo has his eye on a drawbridge), more train cars, etc.
-Princess Jasmine costume
I’m adding:
-snow gear (see question below about best gloves!)
-doll house accessories
-play kitchen accessories (I’m inspired by the coffee maker idea below…my kids always “help” mommy make coffee first thing in the morning, so this could be cute!)
Cb says
We have the drawbridge that comes with the cargo ship and it’s very cool.
I’ve had an amazing luck buying Brio on ebay (used) if your kids aren’t fussed about packaging. It’s often a kid/family selling it off and it makes me feel better about toy waste.
coffee maker says
We have a pretend coffee maker that uses pods, which they love because we use a nespresso! I think it’s melissa and doug.
AnotherAnon says
My 3 y/o also asked for a pedal bike, so he will get that, a new helmet (his is mysteriously cracked) and then a few small things in his stocking. The grandmas are getting him various and sundry “educational” toys.
Anonymous says
YAY for pedal bike! the LO learned about a month ago now and it is amazing. I am finally power walking / jogging!! To
We never put the training wheels on, and i would highly recommend persevering if he is proficient on the balance bike. It was frustrating the first couple of times, but about the third time on the bike he pedaled off no problem. If you want something under the tree bike related, what about a bike bell?
We are getting a hotwheels set for our 3YO. plus some more animals to supplement a playmobile farm. Some dress up clothes (ugh… ALL he wants from Santa is a batman suit. i can’t find toddler size that will ship for xmas. Have ordered cape / mask as back up). Grandma is getting him magnatiles alternative… my sister has picked out a board game and is sending hand me down duplos. A bunch of new books coming from the family too.
In the last month or so, our ability to more strictly follow board game rules has increased a lot.
It sounds like a lot. i think my shopping this weekend was impacted by the last two weeks with school lock down!!
Cb says
Yes, that was our plan. A friend recommended doing no pedals, so they get used to the weight of the balance bike, one pedal, and then two pedals. He’s a speed demon on his balance bike, so I’m semi-hoping this will slow him down a bit?
Anonymous says
has he ridden on a trike? Our little one had that as well, so he had the concept of pedaling (although once he was on the bike we realized that the pedaling action is a lot different because of the angle of the legs). If you can borrow a trike i think that would be the best bet. 1 pedal sounds like a nightmare to me…
start on a very slight downhill slope if you can. I held on to him with a real focus on getting the pedal action right vs balance, which theoretically i knew he could do. The continuous action was what we had to get sorted.
Anonanonanon says
My 2 (almost 3) year old was at a loss at first, until I gave her suggestions (which were conveniently what I had already purchased). Her eyes got real big and she said “you mean, santa can bring me BABY CLOTHES?” when i suggested outfits for her baby dolls. So she’s excited for that. I’m honestly happy she is, because I’ve spoiled her horribly in the “stuff” department during COVID just to keep her busy, so I’m happy she is still excited about something relatively small like baby doll outfits. I also upgraded her toy cradle for her babies (we have a plastic one that keeps breaking), got her some accessories for the babies (sippy cups, etc.) because the others have disappeared. Got a tube of plastic animals for her stocking and my mom ordered her a wooden play barn on etsy.
The older one is getting some video games, books, and schleich figures.
TheElms says
With at least one COVID vaccine likely to get emergency FDA approval later in December, has anyone who is pregnant talked to their doctor about whether they would be eligible to get the vaccine / whether that would be a good idea (assuming sufficient supply)? I’m in an area that for a variety of reasons is likely to have high early vaccine availability for non-high risk groups so I think I could probably get vaccinated by spring or early summer. We’re thinking about kid 2, but I would be willing to hold off until I was vaccinated if the vaccine isn’t advisable for pregnant women.
Anon says
I’m really curious what area (of the US, right?) is going to have a lot of vaccine available for the non-high risk general public…I want to move there! I’m crossing my fingers I can get vaxxed by June for summer travel, but not too optimistic since I’m low risk and not an essential worker. My understanding is that the current vaccines haven’t been tested in pregnant women and authorization for that group won’t come until the second half of 2021 at the earliest.
TheElms says
I’m in the DC area. I realize the vaccine won’t be authorized for use in pregnant women, just like it won’t be authorized for use in kids, for quite a while. I was more wondering if doctors were going to recommend people get it anyway.
Anonymous says
If the vaccine isn’t authorized for use in pregnant women, how can it be administered to them? Isn’t that different from the typical off-label prescription of drugs for a different purpose than authorized, rather than to a different patient population?
Anon says
If it’s not authorized in pregnant women, you can’t get it while pregnant.
TheElms says
Is that always the case? I wondered if this might be analogous to the Gardasil vaccine for HPV that was initially approved for use in people up to age 25 when it was first approved in around 2006. However, it was pretty common for doctors to recommend that people older than 25 get it (I recall a bunch of friends missed the age cut off but then got it in the mid-2010s), but FDA didn’t authorize it for use in people over 25 until 2018. Obviously, age is different than pregnancy, but I was just curious.
Anon says
That’s weird. I don’t know anyone who got it past the age of 26 (before the FDA expanded the age range). I asked and was told explicitly by my doctor I couldn’t get it because I had aged out, and she was very pro-vaccine for patients who were age eligible, so it wasn’t a question of her not trusting the vaccine or anything like that.
Anon Lawyer says
I got the Gardasil vaccine after having “aged out” and the only issue was that insurance didn’t cover it. Not sure how the Covid vaccine will be treated but I would imagine a couple of years of age would be viewed differently than pregnancy by doctors.
Anon says
A doctor is not going to recommend you get a vaccine while pregnant that has never been tested in pregnant women. Also why do you think DC will get more vaccine than everyone else? The allotment is going to be proportional based on population. Despite what the Trump admin is saying, I would be shocked if anyone except the high risk and essential workers gets vaccinated before late summer/fall. Keep in mind that there are 20 million in healthcare, 50 million elderly, 85 million non-healthcare essential workers (retail, teachers, etc) and 100 million adults with high risk conditions that all come before low risk, remote office workers. Given that ~30% of the country has probably been naturally infected at this point and over half the country falls into priority groups that will get a vaccine before me, I fully expect the US to reach herd immunity before I can get a vaccine.
Anonymous says
This all seems too much. How on earth would you know your area is going to have a lot of vaccine for non high risk people? No one knows that!
Heard this on TWIV (scientist-run virus podcast) says
The way they will start to get safety data on the COVID-19 vaccines for pregnant women is that they will only give them to non-pregnant people. At some point, people who have it will become pregnant, and then create a kind of natural experiment. Once you have some of those situations and get data, you can figure out out efficacy/safety and then they could potentially submit for approval. This is unlikely to happen quickly.
Anon says
Given how much your body’s immune system changes during pregnancy, I don’t think getting a vaccine while already pregnant is at all the same as getting a vaccine, building an immune response and then becoming pregnant months later. So if that’s the only plan for testing it in pregnant people, that seems super concerning.
Anonymous says
Ok you volunteer to get it while pregnant then. There’s a reason they don’t test this stuff on pregnant women. Not like loads are signing themselves up to be guinea pigs.
Anonymous says
Yikes, this is unnecessary. Some pregnant women WILL volunteer for the trial because they will believe that the risks of COVID outweigh the risks of waiting to get the vaccine. And unfortunately, others will not know they are pregnant when they get it, only to discover that they were. And then those women will be the ones to report complications, etc.
Katala says
I’m interested in this as well. Currently pregnant, so I’m thinking I won’t get one before my late June due date, but I wonder if my family members could? If I were able to get one after birth (or even if not), then at least our household would present a significantly lower risk to the newborn (and we’d be much less concerned about childcare situations for the older children). Also in a city that may have greater vaccine availability. I’m still concerned about safety with the vaccine trial process being so rushed, but we’re all about weighing risks at this point right?
Anon says
Why are all of you convinced your city is going to get more vaccine than other cities?! The federal government had said it will be distributed to the states solely based on population, not infection rate or anything like that.
Katala says
Not saying there will be more vaccine. I’m in a state that is part of the Pfizer distribution test program due to vaccine infrastructure and am in a city with particularly robust infrastructure. That suggests it’s possible my city will be in a position to offer the vaccine to more people sooner. No guarantees of course, no one really knows what’s going to happen.
TheElms says
Yes, every state will get a proportional allocation, but a lot of practical vaccine availability is going to be tied to ability to store it at the required temperature (depending on which vaccine) and ability to effectively distribute it. I think the DC area will have better luck with this than some areas (because they are actively planning for it) so the consequence will be that those that want the vaccine will have a slightly easier time getting it. I don’t have a crystal ball, but I think the DC area has done a reasonably good job managing Covid and Covid testing and I expect to see similar results with vaccination. The local governments will devote money, time, and manpower to the problem. Not all states/cities will do the same. There are likely lots of cities that fall in this category of better managed.
anon says
Proportional allocation doesn’t necessarily ensure equal access for individuals, as different states have different quantities of high risk individuals. For example, as compared to DC, Florida and Arizona have more high risk, elderly people who will get the vaccine first. If distribution is only based on population, more young people in DC could potentially get the vaccine sooner than in states with more high risk individuals.
(Only about 10% of DC’s population is >65 yo. By contrast, about 25% of Florida’s population is >65 yo.)
Anon says
I expect every major city will manage this fine. I agree some people in rural areas may have problems accessing it if they’re not near a hospital, although Moderna does not require nearly as cold a temperature as Pfizer and can likely be distributed via CVS. But the number of doses produced is going to be a limiting factor well into 2021 and possibly 2022 – right now they’re talking 20 million doses/month/company, which is enough to vaccinate 20 million people each month. At that rate, it would take over a year to vaccinate every adult. I know not everyone wants the vaccine, but I still think there just won’t be enough vaccine for healthy younger adults to be vaccinated until fall 2021 and by then the distribution chain will be smooth. Any geographic discrepancies in distribution will have the most impact in Q1 2021 and there isn’t going to be enough vaccine to go around then anyway.
Anon says
Yes, a vaccine would be great obviously, but it might not be necessary to postpone your second child until it’s available. To put the level of risk in perspective regarding COVID and pregnancy, here is an email from my OBGYN:
The New York Times recently released an article related to a CDC study with Prevention that studied 409,462 women ages 15 to 44, 23,434 of whom were pregnant, who tested positive for COVID-19 and were symptomatic.
The study found that:
Like most young people infected by COVID-19, pregnant women tend not to get very sick when infected.
For symptomatic pregnant patients, the survival rate is 99.85% rather than 99.88% in symptomatic non-pregnant women so there is an increased relative risk for pregnancy but only a very small absolute risk. The death rate is less than 2 per 1000, or 0.2%, whether pregnant or not.
There is an elevated risk for premature delivery as well. The baseline risk is that about 10% of all pregnant women deliver before 37 weeks and in symptomatic women who are infected with COVID-19, their preterm delivery rate is up to 13%. This is a significant increase but remember, 87% of pregnant women who are infected with COVID-19 still deliver at term.
Anon says
Currently pregnant and due in April. My state is part of the Pfizer Distribution plan as well and has a pretty well-developed distribution plan. Relatives are in neighboring states. We are expecting that the majority of close family (grandparents + siblings who work in health care) will have access to a vaccine before my due date and would expect DH to have access either near the due date or a few months after. I do not expect to have access during my pregnancy but do expect to have access before I go back to work from maternity leave… and am probably doing to structure my return to the office based on when I am vaccinated.
Wanted to say also that I am very pro-vaccine and will get the vaccine at my first chance post-pregnancy. However, based on reactions my friends in vaccine trials have had (which are apparently normal), I cannot see it being authorized for use during pregnancy or something I would feel comfortable taking during pregnancy. My friend had a 102 degree fever after the second dose and a 99.5 degree fever after the first dose. He was told by the providers running the trial that these types of fevers were common. I do not think intentionally giving yourself a 102 degree fever during pregnancy could possibly be medically recommended.
Anon says
i dont know if you plan on bfing, but do you think there will be recommendations on bfing and the vaccine?
Anon says
I have seen some news articles that have indicated that breastfeeding women have also not been included in trials, but I also am not really aware of any reason why the vaccine would be not be authorized for breastfeeding individuals unless it somehow affects supply? I think it’s too soon to tell. I also don’t think getting this type of vaccine super early post-partum would be wise… and DH and I will not be getting it at the same time so that one of us can still be the caretaker for baby if either of us have bad side effects like fever, etc. Ultimately, though, we will do whatever our doctors/pediatrician/etc. recommend.
I have though already talked about this with DH and while I was planning to breastfeed for about six months, we both have agreed that for us, getting the vaccine would be more important. So, if it turns out that I only end up BFing for six weeks before getting vaccinated to return to work after leave and can’t continue BFing, that’s fine with me. I realize a lot of people may not feel the same way.
Anon says
I know the yellow fever vaccine isn’t authorized or recommended for breastfeeding women, although even then you can get it if you’re going to an area with lots of yellow fever infections because the benefits are deemed to outweigh the risks. That’s a live attenuated virus vaccine, so there’s a potential risk of the baby being exposed to the virus via milk. The CDC says “According to the ACIP’s General Best Practice Guidelines for Immunization in Special Situations, except for smallpox and yellow fever vaccines, neither inactivated nor live-virus vaccines administered to a lactating woman affect the safety of breastfeeding for women or their infants. Although live viruses in vaccines can replicate in the mother, the majority of live viruses in vaccines have been demonstrated not to be excreted in human milk. Inactivated, recombinant, subunit, polysaccharide, and conjugate vaccines, as well as toxoids, pose no risk for mothers who are breastfeeding or for their infants.” The Covid vaccines developed so far aren’t live virus, so I’m not really sure why they wouldn’t be safe in breastfeeding moms.
Either way, I think your plan to wean if necessary to get the vaccine is a smart one. Protecting yourself and your family from Covid is far more important than the small benefit of a few more months of breastmilk.
Katala says
It’s interesting to consider getting vaccinated while bfing. If it’s likely safe (i.e., not a live virus so low risk although of course we won’t have great data for quite some time), I wonder if it could help baby too by passing the developed antibodies through milk. I haven’t looked at that research on that in a long time, something to read up on when/if the time comes. I personally can’t imagine giving up bfing to get vaccinated except under very limited circumstances, maybe if it were my only chance for a year + or something like that. I can work from home easily, though, and would fight to do so until I could be vaccinated in a manner that I felt worked for my family with input from medical professionals, even if that meant extended WFH following mat leave.
Anon says
as strange as it was to not be with family this thanksgiving, i do have to say it was kind of nice not to fly with two toddlers and to sleep in our own beds. we also decided to let the kids eat pie for breakfast on Thanksgiving Day, which they thought was quite fun. Anyone else have any positives (or negatives) to report back from their weekend?
Anon says
For me the Thanksgiving aspect of it was just plain hard. I know it’s “just one year” but I’m close to my parents and don’t know how many more Thsnksgivings I have with them and it just felt crappy, especially knowing it will likely be 6 more months at least before we can visit them safely.
It was a nice four day weekend though. My 3 yo who has basically quit napping ended up taking really long naps every day so it was surprisingly relaxing, and we had a lot of family fun.
Anonymous says
Our homemade cinnamon rolls (which kiddo participated in a bunch) were super delish. And I slept a lot. So I’m happy :)
anne-on says
It was shockingly relaxing and pleasant just being home with us and not having to host a ton of relatively demanding extended family. I love Thanksgiving, and I do enjoy cooking/hosting, but doing it every year for a holiday with a ‘set’ menu is not my favorite. I think this will really push us to circulate the hosting duties among the larger family and start outsourcing or requesting people bring more than they have in the past. Just not having to do so much house cleaning/washing up/deep kitchen cleaning was a pleasant break!
Anon says
This was the least stressed Thanksgiving I’ve had in a while (and we had our usual – my inlaws over, I cook the whole meal, etc.). I think it was a combo of having weeks to plan out my menu (my November pandemic hobby), all the shopping was done the weekend before (and delivered) because I didn’t want to risk things being out of stock, WFH allowed me to get all the desserts made in advance (this is my busy time, and while I have down time during parts of the day, I am often at the office until 9 or 10), and my family did not visit later in the weekend (we’ll see them this weekend to space out the visits). We also didn’t go anywhere except for a masked outdoor visit at 8:30 at night to get a tree on Friday, so that probably contributed to the peacefulness – usually we would try and see friends, go out to eat, maybe do some shopping, etc.
Anon says
Not a huge turkey fan so we made crab cakes instead and they were SO good! It was nice to have four full days at home after work has been so busy lately.
Anonymous says
Same! It was AMAZING to make the foods we wanted to eat, drink all the alcohol, not talk to my tedious relatives, not watch my mom get incredibly stressed out over the course of the day, and not wonder how late we’ll be eating. Pretty sure my husband had the best thanksgiving of his life not spending it with my extended family. Would love to continue to do it going forward but think it would make the grandparents too sad. It did get hard being the sole entertainment for our kids all weekend though.
anon says
I also really enjoyed a low-key Thanksgiving this year! A big reason is that my office closed for the week, so I got to shop/prep some dishes ahead of time, at a leisurely pace, while my kids were in school. We only made the dishes my immediate family actually wanted to eat, we didn’t get dressed up, we didn’t take pictures. We ran the dishwasher a ton but other than that not too much clean up. I loved it.
Anne says
Agreed! I roasted a turkey for the first time and really enjoyed making a low-key but festive holiday meal. Not driving in traffic for hours on end with screaming kids really made Thanksgiving a break.
Spirograph says
Negatives: I don’t know if I’ll get another Thanksgiving with my grandpa (frankly, I’m surprised and thankful he is still alive for Thanksgiving this year!), but my grandparents they should be among the first in line for vaccines, so hopefully I will be able to visit them in the next few months.
Positives: We saved airbnb money and skipped the 7 hour drive each way. The kids moped a bit about missing their annual adventure to great grandparents’ house, and I missed our de family reunion, but it was much more relaxing than Thanksgiving weekend usually is, and our all-afternoon Zoom open house was more satisfying than I thought it would be. Also, my husband made the turkey and gravy and did a darn good job for his first try!
Anon says
I missed our family and our hotel stay, which is always the same hotel and really fun!
But I got in three runs and was overall more healthy (eating less because no one was pressuring me to eat). It was only my husband and my second Thanksgiving in our city in 10 years together. I really enjoyed it last time, too (2014!).
Anon says
Meant to add that we ordered dinner and I loved that! It was the first time I have ever had moist turkey!
sleep says
Any body pillow recs?
Looking for one that is large/firm/holds it shape. It is for a male elderly relative that is over 6 foot tall and needs it for safety/positioning in bed. The prices vary so much online that I a suspect some are overpriced and others collapse in a week. Maybe one from Costco?
Thanks!
Anon says
Would a pregnancy pillow work?
sleep says
That’s what I’m thinking. Someone on the corporette site recommended I post my question here. I think the pregnancy pillows are probably similar to what I would like.
Best snow gloves? says
Like everyone else, I’m looking for all the winter gear for my kids this year. Does anyone have favorites? Lands End is having a 50% off sale today, bonus if anyone has experience with those. I’m looking for snow-proof gloves I’ll bust out for building snowmen, sledding, etc., not the cheapie kind I buy in droves.
CHL says
Snowstoppers 4 ever.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, Snowstoppers were good. I ordered them straight from the manufacturer (rather than via Amazon) and they were slightly cheaper, with free shipping.
EB0220 says
I’ve tried a bunch and my favorite snow gloves/mittens are the Outdoor Research Kids Adrenaline line. They have kids gloves, kids mittens and toddler mittens.
Anon says
just got off a work call where all my colleagues talked about how relaxing it was to have 5 days off (we got off wed, thurs and fri). DH and I spent this time potty training our twin toddlers – all i could do was smile and nod
anon says
Oh gosh, I feel this so much! My office closed for the week, which was lovely, but it was not “relaxing”. I have twins at home, too. :)
Cb says
Childless male colleagues – “it’s like an extended writing retreat! So pleasant!” while I grit my teeth.
OP says
to be fair, 3 of my other colleagues have kids, but 2 of them only have 1 kid and their kids are older (age 7 and 16) and my one colleague with two kids, hers are also older, 14 and 18, and so while i’m sure parenting older kids has its own challenges, i’m assuming it doesn’t involve taking their kids to the bathroom 10 times an hour. and yes, i love my kids and they were very much wanted, but sometimes i do miss the days of staying up late to binge watch a tv show and then being able to sleep in the next day
anon says
It gets so much better! I remember being completely exhausting after a 3-day weekend potty-training my twins and so glad they went to daycare the next day, but 1.5 years later I found this 4 day weekend pretty relaxing, even though I was constantly parenting! (Probably because I wasn’t parenting + supervising virtual preK + working, so it’s a low bar to get over, but still.)
Anonymous says
Yes, this! Mine are only 3.5 and 5, and it’s already so much easier than it was with younger toddlers. This weekend was actually fairly relaxing (a far cry from my childless days, to be sure, but much more relaxing than even 2 years ago).
Katala says
Mine are similar ages and I completely agree with this. We reserved one day as the “chill day” and let the kids have a lot of screen time so DH and I could rest, read and eat leftovers. Would not have been possible even last year. They even let us sleep in till 7:15 or 7:30 all 4 days!
Anonymous says
I have an 8 year old in remote school with no child care due to the pandemic, so I am back to liking days off work/school. But I still don’t get to sleep in much.
Nursery Deodorizer says
Any recommendations for a room deodorizer for the nursery? We have an ubbi and it keeps most of the smell in, but after some particularly fragrant poos the baby’s room can get a little stinky. I don’t want to change the bag constantly and produce more waste. Preference for a neutral smell vs a strong fragrance and my husband despises the smell of vinegar.
Anonymous says
Baking soda is my answer to most smell issues. We put it in the bottom of the trash can, and if your baby is not mobile yet, you could also probably stash a shallow bowl of it discreetly somewhere in the vicinity of the changing table.
Anne says
We taped some charcoal deodorizer to the inside bottom of our diaper pail and it helps a bit.
Anonymous says
Hamilton Beach TrueAir plug-in charcoal filter!
Anon says
We used charcoal bags tucked in the bottom of the pail (like under the bag). Just lay them out in the sun once a month to “recharge” them.
Kelly says
Flush the poop down the toilet before throwing the diaper away! Takes thirty seconds and cuts down on so much smell!
ElisaR says
that’s a given, isn’t it?
even doing that our diaper bin was still stinky.
Anon says
Uhh if it’s a given I majorly missed the memo…my child is almost 3 and I’ve never flushed a poop in the toilet.
Anon Lawyer says
Me neither. Never even occurred to me to do so. But, at the risk of being TMI, my 1-year-old’s poops are not always solid enough for that . . . .
layered bob says
You might be required to – many municipal sanitation regulations prohibit disposal of human waste in regular garbage. I know not many parents do it but in many places that is the rule. Most diaper packaging also directs you to dispose of poop in the toilet before throwing away the diaper. We cloth diaper so it is definitely a given for us!
Anon says
We are going to work remotely from my home state for awhile and are leaving soon. Any tips of snacks to bring so we can reduce the need to stop? Kids are 2 and 4.
We plan to bring granola bars, fruit snacks, and applesauce pouches. Those are our staples. What other good options are there?
AwayEmily says
We did a 12-hour road trip recently (stopping just once for dinner) and I loaded up on a lot of random little snacks, less for nutrition and more just to keep them interested/occupied. Gummies, goldfish, pretzels, Larabars, those weird “melts” that are made for babies, fruit leather, little boxes of cereal. I recommend bringing a couple of little snack cups to dole them out. Seems to minimize the mess.
Also, I don’t know what your potty plan is but even though both kids were fully potty-trained we put them in pull-ups and told them it was fine to use them if necessary. My 2yo did, my 4yo held it until we stopped, but it was nice knowing that we wouldn’t have to make any unexpected emergency stops.
anon says
String cheese. Tiny boxes of raisins. Goldfish. Snack-packs of M&M’s for when you need a bribe.
Anonymous says
Pepperoni sticks! Filing. No crumbs. Or salami / rolled up ham. (assuming you eat meat).
Drinkable yogurt. Cheese sticks. (obviously with a cooler).
Also – consider making the last thing you put in the trunk a potty. This was hugely helpful to us with a not quite 3 this summer. Obviously less attractive to stop at side of the road in the winter, but great when the next town is still 40 mins away. Given your age ranges it may not be relevant.
Also – lots of Lysol wipes in the car.
Anonanonanon says
100% recommend a potty. Kids can’t be trusted to not touch everything in a gas station bathroom and now is not the time for that.
Anonanonanon says
I got a car cooler that plugs into the cigarette lighter for a 16-hour road trip a few months ago and it was very helpful. How long is your drive?
Additional snacks I packed:
-Muffins
-Fruit (cooler)
-horizon organic single-serve milks (kept them in the cooler but they’re shelf stable)
-individually-wrapped cheese (babybel or similar- cooler)
-Ham and cheese crescent rolls (made with canned crescent rolls the day before, kept in the cooler)
-Lunchables (cooler)
-Goldfish
-Pretzels with jif to go cups of peanut butter
Anonanonanon says
Was thinking of doing family photos ourselves this year with a tripod. We usually have some good vacation shots of the kids individually, each of us with a kid, etc. to include on a card but since not much happened this year in the travel dept would like to just get a nice family photo.
Outside is not going to happen. Any cute ideas for indoor family photos? Poses? Location? I did try a search engine but I don’t feel like I’m having much luck, especially for what can be captured with a tripod.
Anonymous says
I would do one shot in PJs and masks surrounded by a hoard of toilet paper.
ElisaR says
that is funny
Anon says
I think this is so cringey and try-hard, sorry.
OP, the best spot is where you can get some natural light in. Your photos will look more professional if you can get a sharp image without having to use flash. If you don’t have that, I think in front of the fireplace if you have one, or your tree if you celebrate Christmas, would be nice. Keep in mind what’s in the background of the photos and how your outfits might clash or match with your home decor.
I would also suggest doing individual photos of the kid(s). Even for our family of 3, it’s really tough to get one photo where everyone looks great. Our professional photographer normally uses photoshop to merge everyone’s best facial expressions into one photo, but if you don’t have those skills (I don’t) you may find it’s frustrating trying to get a whole family photo. Having nice photos of each kid can give you a great card even if the family photo is so-so. I also think even for an amateur photographer, a photo taken handheld by a person usually looks more natural than a photo taken using a tripod.
Anon Lawyer says
I went sappy for our holiday card this year (which I think some people will hate too) but I think Pandemic humor is fine too, even if it’s “cringy and try hard” to some people. It’s a holiday card, not a Vanity Fair spread. Do what makes you happy.
Anonymous says
The world is such a mess that the perfectly posed professional photos seem out of touch to me this year. Either stage something ridiculous or use candid snapshots from real life.
Anon says
I get that many things aren’t normal now but I don’t really get why professional photos are out of touch. They can be done safely outdoors and judging by social media most people I know who normally do them got them done this year as normal. Photographers are usually small business owners and I think it’s nice to safely support these entrepreneurs if you can afford it. What would be out of touch would be pics of your family on a trip to Hawaii or something like that that’s clearly flouting the public health guidelines.
Anonanonanon says
I think that’s cute, but we’re both COVID responders and it doesn’t sit right in my gut for us to seem like we’re joking about it. I think we’ll try sitting in front of the Christmas tree. Was trying to avoid Christmas imagery because we do a New Year card but I’m too tired to think of anything.
Thanks, all, for your input.
Anon says
Agree with the comment re: natural light (and you want that natural light shining on your faces, not backlighting you, in case that wasn’t obvious). Barring that, I would think in front of a decorated tree or a fireplace are customary, or along a stair railing if you have nice stairs with decent light. I know you said not outside, but I have done them on the front steps before (a little easier to corral folks). I also have seen some on a bed with a big fluffy white comforter, lots of pillows, etc., but to me that is weirdly intimate and I personally would be uncomfortable.
Anonymous says
My holiday card concept is 12 crappy pictures for a crappy year. I am probably not going to do it but may feature a picture of us on our couch just wearing whatever. I don’t think it is making light of the pandemic; it is an accurate reflection of our year. But I normally just include snapshots, never professional pictures.
DLC says
If you have stairs somewhere at home, I find that’s a good option- it lets you set up layers for visual interest and it usually looks relaxed and homey.