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I haven’t bought any shoes that would be considered office-appropriate lately, but these updated loafers from Coach are calling my name.
These smooth leather loafers feature a low, walkable heel and pointed toe. However, it’s not all looks — the rubber sole ensures traction and the memory foam provides all-day comfort for coffee and copier runs.
I could see pairing these with a pair of tailored, wide-leg trousers, or even a pleated A-line skirt for a modern, office-friendly look.
The Isabel Loafer is $150 and available at Nordstrom (black only) and Coach (black, “Bright Watermelon,” or my favorite, the pictured “Ice Blue”). It comes in whole and half sizes 5–11.
Sales of note for 5.5.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase (ends 5/12); $50 off your $200+ purchase (ends 5/5)
- Banana Republic Factory – Spend your StyleCash with 40-60% off everything, or take an extra 20% off purchase (ends 5/6)
- Eloquii – $19 & up 300+ styles and up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Shirts & tees starting at $24.50; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles & extra 15% off; extra 55% off sale styles
- Nordstrom: Nordy Club members earn 3X the points on beauty; 30% off selected shoes
- Talbots – 40% off one item & and 30% off everything else; $50 off $200 (all end 5/5)
- Zappos – 27,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 40% off everything & extra 20% off select styles with code
- Hanna Andersson – Friends & Family Sale: 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Crewcuts – tk; extra 30% off sale styles; kids’ styles starting at $14.50
- Old Navy – Up to 75% off clearance
- Target – 20% off women’s clothing & shoes; up to 50% off kitchen & dining; 20% off jewelry & hair accessories; up to $100 off select Apple products; up to 40% off home & patio; BOGO 50% off adult & YA books
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
I love the color of these shoes, but I think only a chunky sole feels current on a loafer, especially with the wider pants that are now in style.
Redux says
A friend just gifted my daughter thousands of dollars worth of American Girl doll stuff from the 80s and 90s. Like, the entire catalog of dolls + accoutrements for Molly, Kirsten, Samantha, and Addie. Which is so generous and kind! Except– my daughter doesn’t play with dolls (she’s 7, so if she’s not playing with dolls yet, I doubt she is going to get into them in the future) and the boxes and boxes of stuff are giving me extreme anxiety. There are like 15 boxes and totes– the dolls, all their furniture, the clothing (so much clothing!), dish ware, and lots of little things like canoe paddles and bird cages and tiny little cakes. IT’S SO MUCH STUFF.
I never had an American Girl doll or the books, so I don’t know what is what/ whose is whose, and am frankly not nostalgic for these things in any way that would compel me to encourage my daughter to get into something she’s not into. What should I do? My husband wants to give it all away on FB or Freecycle, but I feel bad that it’s such a valuable gift (and what if she wants it back at some point? we are 40 and she has no kids or nieces/nephews) . I am leaning toward putting them away in the attic and then giving them back in a few years, but that seems a little silly? My husband says if we do that, it just delays the mass giveaway to a few years down the road as our friend is not likely to want them back and we might as well do the cleanout once instead of twice. I am admittedly too polite about gift giving, but he is admittedly too unsentimental about it. Thoughts?
Anonymous says
Can you talk to your friend about it? “Hey, that was such an awesome and generous gift, but Sally isn’t really into dolls and it’s a ton of really nice stuff that I’d hate to just let lie around! Do you want it back to give to some other girls? If not, do you mind if I give it away?”
NYCer says
This is what I would do. Your friend may have another friend who she wants to give them to. Or she might just be happy to be rid of all of it, and let you figure out what to do with it.
Redux says
Oh I would never. This is where my too-polite-about-gift-giving comes in. I cant even imagine telling someone that I don’t like/need/want their gift. Whereas my husband’s family includes the receipt in every gift and does not blink if someone says, not my style/ I’ll return it for something I like. The first time I spent Christmas with them I was horrified. I acknowledge this is my own hang up!
Anon says
that is the purpose of gift receipts! i’d rather someone get something they like, than be stuck with something they don’t. otherwise it is a waste of my money. talk to your friend.
Anonymous says
I think it is different here where the gift is so valuable. I’d ask friend what she wants to happen with the stuff, given how valuable the collection is/might be, when your child is done. She might tell you “oh, I just want it gone, I don’t care.” Or she might tell you that she wants it back. That will inform what to do here. I really don’t think honesty will hurt your friend’s feelings given the value of the gift. This feels different. If she is this good of a friend, you can have an open discussion with her about how to treat the value of the gift.
Anonymous says
This is different than the usual gift, though. These dolls and accessories may have sentimental value to your friend, and if so she would probably want to give them to another friend rather than have them tossed out.
NYCer says
Echoing the others above, this is way, way different than a standard gift. And it is coming from one of your friends. Talk to her. It will not offend her if your child does not like dolls. It is the right thing to do.
Anon says
You gotta woman up for this one.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’d sell/give them away on fb. It seems silly to just store them in the attic when someone who loves playing with dolls can play with them now. I’m not sure why your friend would want them back unless she explicitly said that?
anon says
If any of the stuff is from Pleasant Company before it was purchased by Mattel, then it is an insanely valuable gift. Don’t just freecycle or sell it without doing some research first. Original dolls can sell for more than $1k each, and that’s without all of the gear.
The peak age for AG dolls and books is older than 7, so there is still a chance that your daughter will get into it. I’d return it to your friend if you don’t want it. I wouldn’t sell it or give it away unless she tells you that’s okay.
Redux says
Oh, this is good intel! They are most definitely from pre-1998. Good to know, thank you.
Anon says
Yes. I absolutely regret selling my AG Samantha for $1 at a garage sale.
Anonymous says
Same. I regret donating Samantha’s brass bed a couple of years ago just because it was too big to fit on a bookcase.
Samantha says
Yes +1 to this. Pleasant Company stuff is so valuable, great quality, and in reading your original post, I would try to hold onto it for a year or so to see if your daughter has a change of heart. I think it would bring your friend a lot of joy to see your daughter use them, which is why she gave it to you. And if she ends up not being into it, then hand it back to your friend.
Mary Moo Cow says
My insane first thought was, I want it! I have Samantha, Kirsten, and Addie, but not all of their stuff. I tried to let my 6 year old play with it, but she was not as gentle with it as I hoped and it was giving me anxiety. But we’re storing it until she’s about 8. 8 is the recommended age and I think that’s when I started really appreciating the dolls. If I was in your shoes, I would hang on to it until she’s 8 and see if she’s interested, and then, if not, offer it back to your friend or discreetly sell it. Like someone else said, it is very valuable and sentimental goofballs like me want it and will pay for it for our kids. (Also, if you really want to get rid of some of it, please let me know and I will buy some of it and pay for shipping.)
anne-on says
Same – can I come over and play with it? I would have given my left arm for this collection as a kid. I would spend HOURS studying the catalogs and dreaming about all the accessories and toys as a kid but could never get my parents/family to buy it for me. I don’t have a girl and my niece wasn’t into them so it seems I’ll never get my chance to indulge my inner 80’s child.
Anyone else wish that there was an American Girl doll bar (like cat cafes) where adults who never got to have any of the dolls could pay for admission and play with all of the stuff? I swear I would hold a birthday party there…
Anon Lawyer says
Me too. I wanted one so much when I was growing up but they were always too expensive. But I loved poring over the catalogue and all the tiny little historical replicas.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Egad, the things I would have done for a Molly doll and accessories in the 90’s. My parents didn’t budge, so I just remember salivating over the catalogues.
Anonymous says
Talk. To. Her. I don’t care about your hang ups it is the only adult option. She has given you a very expensive but also burdensome gift. You can and should say “wow I hasn’t realized how large your collection was! So kind of you but Cindy is never going to play with all of this. I’d love to pass some of it along to another little girl to love but since I know these are valuable treasures wanted to check in with you first.”
It’s the right thing to do. Get over your nonsense and speak to her.
Ashley says
I would keep it in the attic for little while, and periodically offer it to your kid to play with. If after ~6months to a year, she still doesn’t play with it, I would then approach the friend. “Kiddo hasn’t been into the American Girl stuff lately. I think we are probably ready to move on at our house. I wanted to check with you before doing anything with it–I know these pieces are valuable! What would you like us to do with it? I’m happy to return it to you.”
anon says
+1
Anon says
I would definitely not give it away without offering it back to the friend. The size of the collection to begin with and the fact that she kept it for all these years really suggests that this is something that was very important to her. I feel the same way about my American Girl dolls, which I have also stored and kept since childhood. I think you owe her the opportunity to give this happy memory of her childhood to someone else who will build their own childhood memories. She might say that you can do as you wish, but I’d be worried that this is the type of thing that could upset a friendship if you make the wrong call independently.
anon says
During the pandemic I started doing historical units with my 7 yo daughter to introduce her to some history. The AG books were great for that. Would you consider reading the books aloud to her? You could pull out the stuff for each doll to help bring it to life. We also checked other books out from the library about the time period, watched movies, did crafts, and cooked food. Field trips were fun too. For Addy we went to Mount Washington to tour the slave quarters, for Molly we visited a WWII battleship and the WWII memorial, for Felicity we visited Williamsburg. There’s lots to get out of AG dolls beyond playing with dolls.
Anonymous says
1) give it a year or so to make sure your kid won’t decide to love it. My kids all LOVE AG and got into it when my oldest got her first one at age7. If your daughters friends are into them and she is not, well, then maybe she never will be. but you never know. My oldest is 8 and reads all the books.
2) if you know she won’t use it, talkt oyour friend
Hmmm says
This!
shortperson says
im late to this, but i do collect some pleasant company stuff and this is valuable. the “stuff” — not outfits — are the most valuable, although some of the rarest outfits sell for $800+ (most dresses go for $35-80 each). if she didnt get her the books, i would get your daughter one or two of the book sets. the books are good, and the dolls/outfit/stuff are matched to go with the books. while AG skews younger, historical pleasant company sets were aimed at 8+, so i would not assume she wont get into it until she’s 11 or so. of course, you know your daughter best. but i’ll add that i’m not a doll or girlie person otherwise, and most people who know me woudl be very surprised that i am into pleasant comapny stuff. but i do like to read and i like history.
Anonymous says
We have a big Disney trip planned for the end of October. It will be me, my husband, our 2.5 year old, my husband’s parents, and his brother and sister-in-law (all adults are vaxxed). I am nervous about Delta and am wondering when we should make the decision on whether to cancel. We knew going in that there was a possibility we would need to cancel, especially if we couldn’t get our son vaccinated (I think latest estimates are Winter for vaccinating you children?). I’m not too worried about the air travel, as my son is really good at wearing his mask and it’s a short flight for us. But I’m worried about being at Disney for 4 days, when we won’t be able to guarantee that everyone else is masked and we’ll have to eat some meals indoors. Thoughts? We still have a few weeks, but I’m not sure how to make the decision other than going with my gut.
Anon says
Eeesh. I would be so excited about Disney! But if this were me, I’d probably call it now. Your son is not going to be vaccinated by then. My concern is basically everything indoors that I’d be doing – the airport, hotels, any restaurants. If I’m spending Disney money I’d want to enjoy it, and I don’t think I’d enjoy it enough at the end of October based on how Florida is trending now.
Anon says
i would definitely cancel. also, your son is 2.5 and while i am sure he would get something out of disney, he’d probably get a lot more out of it if you waited. if you had asked me back in june or july when we thought that vaccinated adults couldn’t spread the virus, while it is not a trip i’d take myself right now, i would’ve said go for it. but i think i was just reading that in orlando they were asking people to conserve water because the oxygen they typically use for treating water they needed to treat covid patients in the hospital.
Boston Legal Eagle says
World or Land? I wouldn’t go to Florida this year at all – CA might be a little better, but I still don’t think I would go to Disney this year based on where case counts are now and that kids can’t be vaccinated. It is a ton of money and planning, and I’d want it to be an enjoyable trip. Plus, your daycare/preschool might have restrictions on travel, so you may have to quarantine when you get back.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t go. He won’t remember it and will enjoy it even more in a year. If the other adults want to go anyway (in laws) then can enjoy more adult stuff.
I know my first personal connection case of a double vaxxed person getting it. Sister’s friend caught it from her kids who got it at daycare. Delta is no joke. It’s super transmissible.
anon says
+1 He won’t remember it. You’ll remember the stress leading up to it and probably while there. Postpone for sure.
anne-on says
I would shelve it. We did Orlando in June. At the time masks were required at parks, compliance was good, but even so it was VERY busy (though still below peak occupancy). People were very close together, and there just doesn’t seem to be any way to space out enough at the parks while eating. Does Disney still mandate masks? If not (and obviously the state doesn’t) there is no way I’d go with an unvaccinated kid.
It’s just such an expensive trip that I wouldn’t want to do it and be nervous/anxious the whole time.
Anon says
I went to Universal Studios Florida a few months ago, in that brief respite when cases were low. I went with a friend, without any of our kids. I had a blast, but I specifically thought several times that I was glad I went without kids because of how crowded it was. Crowded in lines, you are jammed together on indoor rides, etc.
I am planning a big Disney trip in a year, so hopefully my kids can be vaccinated by then and I can relax.
Anonymous says
I follow a lot of Disney influencers and it is crowded, not distanced, mask wearing isn’t great. If that’s an issue for you, don’t go.
Mrs. Jones says
I wouldn’t go.
Blueberries says
I wouldn’t go.
Anonymous says
Cancel. The combination of crowds, poor masking, Delta, and low vaccination rates (and thousands of unvaccinated kids) make this a very high-risk activity for all of you, especially your child. I would classify this as high-risk, likely medium consequence, which would make it a no-go for me.
Tea/Coffee says
I would also cancel. Florida isn’t looking so hot, the winter may be worse, and depending on where you live, you may run into mandatory quarantines or something on your way back. That is what i am most worried about.
We visited FiL in FL in July and did one day at Epcot. There were basically no malls except for on transportation and even then i felt like it wasn’t really enforced.
anon says
You could not pay me to go to Disney right now. Florida’s numbers are terrible, and I don’t trust the Disney crowd to behave appropriately. We’d planned a trip for June 2020 and obviously canceled. We still haven’t re-booked. At this rate, not even sure if we’ll ever end up going.
Floridian says
I’ve gone to Disney world every month (at least) with my young kids since they reopened in August of 2020 and attended two professional on property. In terms of compliance, it is one of the most strict, most compliant places in the Florida. I’d go and enjoy.
anonmom says
Our preschool for the fall just announced that they are going to not require masks for kids over age 2. (They did last year). For those that had kids in programs last year without masks- were you just shut all the time? I am picturing the first week of school going fine and then all the germs getting spread and then it being constantly shut. Has anyone seen any data about how many days schools were shut last year that were supposed to be open?
Boston Legal Eagle says
Our daycare didn’t require masks for kids last year (just teachers, staff and parents). Caveat that this was before Delta but they never had to shut down – I’m not aware of any Covid case at all among the kids (one or two staff) throughout the whole last year. We had to keep our kids home for various “Covid-like” symptoms but no positive tests. I’m not sure how Delta would have affected this.
Anonymous says
Same with us. The 3-4 year olds were encouraged to keep them on as long as possible but not forced. Zero Covid. But I’m expecting this year may be different.
Cb says
We haven’t ever had masks at daycares in the UK. Our nursery had two bubbles, and one bubble closed for 10 days due to a positive case in a vaccinated staff member. There were no positive cases among children from that exposure. But we were in lockdown for two months during the winter wave and vaccine rates are really high among adults.
However, they’ve just removed the requirement that under 5s have to quarantine in the event of a close personal contact. Just the recommendation that they test.
Anon says
i think that unfortunately you cannot compare last year to this year due to Delta. and last year people generally were staying home a lot more and now they are more out and about. i will say that what your school is doing makes zero sense. did they see the letter that all the children hospital presidents just wrote begging people to have masks in schools. is there a group of parents that can push back on this. i live in Houston and one class of 3 year olds had to shut down after 2 days of school because of covid. (the school is requiring masks, but was giving kids the first week to get acclimated with them)
anon says
This. I’ve seen tons of anecdotes about how it was fine last year, but Delta is a completely different situation.
Anon says
My 2 year old wasn’t required to wear a mask last year and they never closed once. My 5 year old wasn’t required at a different school and his class closed for two weeks twice but many other classes never closed.
Interestingly, both schools requiring masks this year…
Anon says
Also both schools required masks for teachers and staff and didn’t let parents past the front door. I think this year will have more closures due to delta despite the masks unfortunately.
Mary Moo Cow says
I had a kid in an unmasked daycare and a kid in a masked school. Neither ever got a notice that we needed to quarantine because of an exposure, neither classroom was closed, and neither had a teacher test positive. Each school had staff members who were believed to have been exposed outside of school, but neither school had any in-school outbreaks. It was a good beta test.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
My kids school only requires masks for kids in K and up, and their building is all kids under 5. I send DS #1 who is 3.5 in a mask, but he’s one of a few kids wearing it. DS #1 is 8 months and is not masked. I’ve been emailing asking them to at least “highly recommend” masking for 2+, but the owner of the school likes to play to “both sides” so it has not happened.
All teachers, staff, and parents coming in/out of the building for drop off (not allowed in classrooms) are masked. Based on last year, we did not have any quarantines for DS #1s class, and it seemed (in a non-delta world) all cases were related to spread outside of the school.
anonn says
we were quarantined twice, whole center shut down twice I think. all due to teachers. Last time was in January. Oh and in April we shut down for a day due to high numbers of noro virus (stomach flu) Now only unvaxxed teachers wear masks. I think individual rooms have had to quarantine since then, but my kids’s rooms haven’t.7 rooms total, about 100 kids at this daycare total.
Anonymous says
Our 3 and 4 year olds had no masking all year and our all day preschool was shut only once. The shut down was not from a case in preschool it was an abundance of caution – 2 cases in a grade 1 class, a sibling of one of the in the grade 1 students (not the positive ones) was in our preschool class. Each group of 16 was cohorted, but other than the cross over from the previously mentioned grade 1 cases, none of the 5 classes got shut down at any other time.
Delta is different (I understand), but they are going with the same procedures this year. They are eating and napping there, so realistically i don’t believe effective masking for the students can really happen.
Anon says
We may have to move to Nassau county but know little about it. A cursory exploration on Zillow tells me it is wildly expensive and the houses look terrible. Any advice on affordable towns with good schools? Things to avoid? FWIW we are coming from Westchester, would like to maintain a reasonable “commute” to the city on the LIRR, and we have two kids under 5 (and yes, I never thought I’d be saying that there is a place more unaffordable than Westchester).
Redux says
Why do you have to live in the county? One of you have a county job that requires in-county residence or something?
OP says
We don’t *have* to in that sense but it does ease the commute for the one of us who has to go into work everyday.
Anon says
is the one who has to commute sure that they will stay at this job for a while and that the company won’t be moving offices? in one of my jobs in nyc, the exec responsible for opening the NYC office had it in his contract that they would not move outside of a certain radius of grand central bc he was moving his family and wanted to figure out CT/Westchester vs. LI/NJ based on his commute
Anon says
there is a big difference between the north shore and the south shore. Great Neck, Roslyn, Port Washington are all fairly close in with good schools. A bit farther out is Jericho and Syosset. Another town that I would check out is Sea Cliff. On the other side of the island, we have a some friends who have live in Merrick and while the main drag is literally one of the ugliest places i’ve ever seen, they seem to enjoy living there bc they have super close beach access and spend a lot of the summer at a beach club. There is also Oceanside, Woodmere, Hewlett.
NYCer says
+1 to Port Washington. Locust Valley is also extremely nice, but it is a slightly less direct commute to city.
[Caveat, I have only visited these cities, never lived there.]
Anonymous says
This is probably not very helpful but one thing to keep in mind about Port Washington and towns on that LIRR line – it is the only route that does not go through Jamaica, Queens, where you can change trains. So if there is a problem on the line you’re screwed. And if you need to go to Brooklyn you have to go all the way to Penn Station and then back out on the subway. (I live in Brooklyn and used to work in Port Washington, so this was an issue for me personally but probably not a big deal to most).
Now in Suffolk says
But that’s a huge plus for someone commuting to Penn not having to go to Jamaica. Jamaica shuts down for sunny weather, rain, snow, a butterfly fart… I’d live anywhere on the PW line. Manhasset and Port Washington are particularly pretty. Oyster Bay is very nice, but the train line is slower than anything.
anon says
I live in one of the towns getting mentioned. My general advice is that the homes with decent LIRR commutes on the North Shore tend to be slightly higher price/sq foot than comps on the South Shore. Overall, the home prices tend to be higher and taxes tend to be lower than the comps in Westchester, where property taxes skew higher but the sale price/ square foot might be lower. (*Of course these taxes/prices are astronomical to the rest of the country!) One friend chose to move to Cold Spring Harbor in Suffolk County, which she told me has a train that runs express to Jamaica from Cold Spring Harbor, so it ended up being the same time commute as towns she was considering in Nassau but she got more living space.
One of the things I hate about LI is that there was a lot of historical redlining and other issues from old close mindedness, so many towns historically have certain cultural identities (like there are “Jewish towns” and “Irish towns”)–some of which are being broken down by people moving for commutes/schools, rather than seeking the same “type” of person. But you may want to know the reputation, especially if you’re seeking a particular faith community.
Anonymous says
I recently moved back to Nassau County (grew up here). I found the services of Suburban Jungle to be extremely helpful, even though I knew the island extremely well. They set me up with different realtors in different locations that were willing to just sit and talk to me about the pros and cons of different areas and then I ended up using one of the realtors to buy my home, and I just can’t say enough good things about the process.
South shore vs North shore will be a major deciding factor. Other than the PW/Manhasset train line, I personally believe most south shore lines to be a better commute (if commute time AND frequency of train are major factors). Garden City has three different train lines (including Mineola) which for many reasons is excellent for commuting. Babylon line (RVC, Merrick, etc.) runs trains close to ever 20 minutes or less with some express in the morning. If train time is less important, then you really need to go check out the vibe of the different shores. They may seem close in geography, but the vibe is different. North shore is definitely more westchester like with trees, house spacing, and general village vibe – I always felt like parts of Roslyn Harbor reminded me of Hartsdale or Scarsdale.
I know this is short, but hope it helps a little.
Party Animal says
I am pregnant with a girl and my husband and I are trying to decide on a name. Our son is named after my father. Husband wants to name our daughter after his beloved late grandmother. He really has his heart set on it and he feels like it is a compromise since we named our son after my dad. Also, his brother, with whom he has a competitive, love-hate relationship with, named his son after their grandfather, and I think this factors into my husband’s feelings about it too.
I actually love the name he is proposing, but the problem is that it’s very, very similar to my own name. For example, think if my name was Emily and the name husband loves is Emilia. Daughter would probably go by a nickname, for example, Mia. I feel like it’s weird to name her this because of the similarity to my name, even if we call her the nickname. What if she decides when she gets older that she wants to go by Emilia and not Mia? I have many other names that I’d like us to consider, but husband gets frustrated every time I bring them up. What would you do?
oil in houston says
any chance he’d settle on using it for the middle name? if not, your idea of using a nickname is probably the way to go, starting from the moment she’s born.
congrats !
Anonymous says
I don’t see your problem as being a problem at all! My dad and brother have the same first and last names, and it was only an issue when people would call our landline and ask to speak to (name), and we had to clarify which one.I think it’s a lovely nod to both you and your husband’s family to choose a name in the spirit of your husband’s suggestion.
Anon says
so i love naming after people. in fact, both my kids first and middle names are named after deceased relatives. but i would also not want to name my child something so close to my name or DH’s name. i also, personally strongly dislike the idea of naming your kid one thing and calling them some other nick name. like in your example i’d be wondering why the parents didn’t just name the poor kid Mia. in fact, i purposefully chose names for my kids that have no nick names. my own name also doesn’t have a nickname, but growing up i just found it confusing when i had friends who had names that were different. this is obviously my own personal pet peeve. is there some other name that starts with the same letter DH is open to? or using grandmother’s name as a middle name, or what if you look up the meaning of grandmother’s name and see if you can find another name with similar meaning.
Redux says
This is so funny, because I feel totally opposite– I purposely named my kid something for which there were multiple nicknames and we call her by one of them because I grew up with no nicknames and still wish I had some flexibility. I want her to be able to choose her name in some way, whereas I was and remain stuck with one name version. E.g., Elizabeth, Beth, Betsy, Lizzy, Liz, Eliza, Eli… I like the idea that she can decide if she wants a more or less feminine name, for example, or wants to use one name professionally and a different version socially. I have a very 80s name for which there are no good nicknames, so I feel like it both boxes me in and dates me very precisely. Think Tiffany or Stacy, no offense to all my 80s ladies out there!
Anon says
I know a family where the mom and daughter have the same name and the daughter goes by a nickname; think Margaret and Maggie – like the nickname sounds quite different from the mom’s name. I actually think it’s adorable. And she probably won’t want to go by the non-nickname version of the name if you go by the full name. That said, my husband wanted us to name our daughter after his grandmother and I just straight vetoed because I didn’t like the name. My husband is super chill though so he was fine with it. But point being, if you like the name except that it’s close to yours I wouldn’t let that stop you!
Mary Moo Cow says
For me, this is not a hill I would choose to die on. If you love the proposed name and there’s a probable nickname, I would give the win to DH for the first name and you pick the middle name. (FWIW, I know more than one family where kids and parents have the same or similar names. It doesn’t seem like a big deal to an outsider, but maybe it gets annoying filling out forms or dealing with customer service.)
Anonymous says
I think it is fine.
No Face says
I actually think it is fine if your name and your daughter’s name sound similar. I have a cousin in the same situation, and it is actually very endearing and cute.
govtattymom says
I don’t think it’s weird! Men give sons their own name all the time! My daughter’s full legal name is a nickname for my own name (I initially thought this was weird but also was touched that my husband wanted to name our daughter after me). Also, my friend who is named Elizabeth is the fourth in her family to be named Elizabeth (mother is Elizabeth, grandmother is Elizabeth, etc.)
Anonymous says
If you like the name, go for it. My dad and my brother have the same first name. My dad is a junior. My brother is NOT a junior nor is he the third because my brother has a different middle name. So:
Grandpa: John Paul Revere
Dad: John Paul Revere, Jr (Goes by Johnny)
Brother: John Thomas Revere (Goes by JT)
Confusing is when everyone thinks brother is John Paul Revere III, which happed *all the time* growing up. Or when they think my dad is JPR Senior and brother is JPR Jr. And for extra fun, two of the three are in the same profession which requires a license and…..chaos.
Anonymous says
A friend named her son after her. That is ok. People will think you named her after yourself. That is also ok. The opinions of others do not matter. You said you love the name and it would mean a lot to your husband.
Anon says
My mom and I have very similar names and it was never an issue. I was named after her sister, so she had a lifetime of experience to know if having similar names would be a problem.
SC says
My husband’s family has a tradition of naming the eldest daughter the same first name as the mom. DH’s sister goes by her middle name. DH’s cousin goes by her first and middle names together.
EB0220 says
FWIW, I have a similar situation (e.g my sister is named Emily and my daughter is named Emilia) and it drives me crazy. Wish I’d thought of it before.
Trudy Judy says
I straight up suggested my daughter have the same first name as me, so maybe I’m biased, but I’d say go for it, if your husband feels a strong attachment and you love it too. To complicate matters even more, in my family we’re both going by nicknames of our (very different) middle names, but the nicknames sound similar. Think Ermengarde Gertrude (“Trudy”) and Ermengarde Judith (“Judy”). It feels a little egomaniacal, but I kind of love it. If we had a boy, I would have been fine with a Jr. It’s not like me or my daughter will be confused about who we’re talking about, and if my husband gets us confused, then that’s his problem.
I also just realized I typed this whole response and felt so clever about the fake names until I realized I probably just subliminally absorbed them from last week’s Brooklyn 99 episode.
Anon says
If you worked as a litigator and then switched to either a non legal job or a legal job that wasn’t litigation…let me know? I’m fairly senior in my career but realizing that the antagonistic aspects of litigation, which are pretty much unavoidable, are just not for me. Trying to figure out if there’s something else I can do.
anon says
Have you considered moving in house? If you choose a company where you agree with their mission, it feels good to be part of that effort. Sound legal advice can be critical.
So Anon says
I was a biglaw litigator and left as a senior associate. I clerked for a federal judge for a few years (so more litigation) then moved in house. My current role is more focused on our large contracts in a complex legal area, operations, and general in-house counsel work (all the meetings). Having my litigation background can be hugely helpful, especially when negotiating with the “old boys network” who want to pat me on the head and say that I don’t know how things work in court. However, it is the attention to detail, general writing skill, legal research and eagerness to learn and know the business that have been the most helpful. It is entirely possible to move from a litigation role to an in-house role that is not focused on litigation. You may need to take a sideways or slight step down as your learn the business. Before my in house role, I had litigated cases in the general subject matter, but I was not an expert. If you want to look for an in house role, look for any job in any company that you are somewhat familiar with and remember that a job posting is a wish list. If you have 50% of the skills, go for it.
Anonymous says
Moved from labor/employment litigation to labor relations (jd preferred role), which is a pretty common switch. It’s not exactly non-antagonistic but there’s a huge part of it’s that’s about long term relationship building, which helps balance out the antagonistic parts, and a ton of strategy setting and consulting, which is what I really enjoy.
laborlawyer says
Heyyy fellow labor lawyer here! What type of labor relations role? Union or management side?
Anonymous says
Currently management. Don’t really want to out myself and more detail might do that!
312 says
Yep, moved out of litigation and into claims. I would highly recommend it, lots of vacation time and no billables. Insurance companies handling very complex claims need lawyers. I’m not sure what practice area you are in currently, but you may be able to translate that experience over to claims – such as professional liability defense, etc.
Nap blanket says
I just found out this morning that my LO is switching to a mat at daycare today. Recommendations for a good daycare nap blanket I can pick up on my lunch break today?
anon says
I’d just send any old blanket today, and then order one from etsy. It’ll make your life easier. Less stuff to keep track of and its personalized. Urbaninfantusa
Personalized Tot Cot® Toddler Preschool | Daycare Nap Mat – Llamas
Mommasgottasleep says
I’m putting my annoyance on your behalf aside (why couldn’t they have let you know this Friday?) I’d just run home and grab a muslin blanket from your kid’s baby days. Unless you’re like me and give everything away immediately – then Target has character fleece nap blankets for around $20. I’d grab one of those.
Nap blanket says
I know, right? It’s a new room today. They said a month ago when they put out the class lists that it was a “transition” room – transitioning to cups, cows milk, and mats over the next few months. Apparently the mat is happening today. I’ve been focusing on cups for the last month. Facepalm.
Thanks! I’d shoved all the muslin blankets in a box and promptly forgot about them.
Anon says
We send in a crib sheet and (fleece baby) blanket rather than a special nap mat. I suppose it depends on what your daycare provides as far as mats go.
Sleep says
We just use one of those muslin blankets that comes in a four pack for daycare (I think it’s Aden and Anais). I don’t anything special is necessary.
Nap blanket says
Thanks, all! I didn’t find out until DH came back from dropoff (which is when he found out), so hopefully a crib sheet fits. Glad to save myself a trip to Target!
anne-on says
My husband has a man cold. (got tested, not covid). Son and I also have said cold and are managing to sneeze/sniffle/blow our noses without being heard from outside and around the corner. I am currently holed up in my office with headphones on and white noise playing and sleeping in the guest room to preserve some sanity. I may still lose it if I have to listen to another 2 days of LOUD throat-clearing and explosive sneezing.
Send me all your tricks for not losing it please….
Anonymous says
LOL why do men sneeze so loud!?
AnonATL says
When my husband blows his nose, it can be picked up on my computer microphone (while on a conference call) from the opposite corner and story of our 2 story home. He is physically incapable of blowing his nose without making a racket. We call it the nose trumpet.
fallen625 says
We are going to be staying at an airbnb for the next 10 days (half of it on vacation, half in our town) as we get our floors redone. Any advice on easy meals I can cook at the airbnb that require few ingredients? Or any already pre-made favorite meals from stores (e.g., whole foods, costco?) that may be good to grab?
Anonymous says
Will you have a grill? That is my go to.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Hi! Lived in Airbnbs for 6 months in 2020. We lived on rotisserie chickens, bagged salads, fruit, nuts, yogurt/granola, quesadillas, fried rice, frozen tortellini, rice-and-beans, scrambled eggs, and grilled cheeses.
We’d also order takeout and get stuff that could be re-purposed and stretched out (e.g. fajitas). Also, my parents would drop off food as well, so that helped a ton. Not sure if this is an option for you via local family/friends.
Mommasgottasleep says
Does Whole Foods have kale salad? I can live off of that for days. I love Costco’s burgers (you can pan fry them), tamales, frozen salmon. We have a local grocery store that does take and heat trays of all kinds of stuff. If you don’t want takeout, that would be my go-to. And +1 to grilling all of the above, if you have that option. Enjoy your new floors!
Anon says
I like nearly every pre-made costco meal at the deli section that I’ve purchased. Most of them need no cooking (giant chicken taco salad), just the oven with no other prep (pasta, stuffed peppers, etc), or they come hot (rotisserie chicken, full rack of ribs, etc).
Anonymous says
What my kiddo will eat from Costco:
– Chicken pot pie (I usually roast Broc at the same time) – ha we are having that tonight because School starts in the middle of the week, so not childcare until Thursday.
– Chicken Taco kits. I usually add slicced avocado and frozen corn sides (or sautéed peppers if i feel fancy)
If you have a grill.
– Pre-marinated pork chops (slouvaki) – i think you need tzatziki and hot sauce to go with it. Get some pita. I usually do greek salad with it (a pain in Airbnb) but it doesn’t have that many ingredients or just get the kraft greek dressing. (Don’t buy Costco greek salad – it has no flavor)
Some prep: marinate chicken at home and a bunch to have lots of leftovers for lunches / other dinners + bag of salad + baguette (don’t forget to pack butter)
Realist says
Sheet pan meals. Last night we made steak with frozen vegetables on a sheet pan. Seasoned everything, tossed in olive oil, broiled for about 4 minutes each side, so easy. Frozen veggies always taste better to me cooked in the oven than however the package tells you to heat them. Rice bowls are another easy go-to meal, especially if you have an Instant Pot or rice maker that you could bring with you to the Airbnb.
Anonymous says
Roasted or grilled sausages are also good for not bringing your spice cabinet along. :)
more name games says
DH and I are pregnant w our first, and divided on choosing a last name. I grew up with a double last name (eg. Smith Johnson) and happily dropped one to have a hypenated married name (eg. Smith-Williams). DH toyed with the idea of hyphenating, but finally decided it was an important family thing to stay just “Williams”.
Now he’s announced he wants to name baby Smith and not Williams. I would probably pick a hyphenated or double name, and I have always known it would be shortened to Williams most of the time.
He is a prosecutor in our small town, and has pissed a few people off. Chances are good he will stay in the same job for the foreseeable future. Part of me thinks it’s a huge over-reaction to choose a name based on a people’s opinions about a parent’s job, because people will know anyway. But on the other hand, it would be pretty terrible to see kiddo get constantly fouled in sports because of the name on their short, or something.
Suggestions? Advice?
Anonymous says
If it’s a small town, people are going to know who your kid’s parents are, regardless of last name.
Anon says
I’m a prosecutor albeit not in a small town and vote no – a) everyone who cares will know who his dad is anyway and (b) you can’t let the criminal a holes get you down. Eff them. Your husband is the good guy. Your son should have that name with pride. Feels sort of like letting the bad guys win.
(that said I think its cool when kids have the wife’s family name so if this is just an f u to the patriarchy I’m all for it) :)
OP says
I very much agree, f’ the bad guys, and I’ve been perfectly willing to make some reasonable sacrifices myself so that he can keep doing his job. I just wondered whether it’s fair expect the same from kiddo.
As for using my last name, it really seems like a choice between which grandpa’s name we choose. So whatever, the patriarchy wins a few battles, and we move on to fight again ;).
AnotherAnon says
I grew up in a small town. I think you’re borrowing trouble, but if this is in fact going to be an issue, the solution is to move to a different school district (which you can do years from now), not to give your kid a different last name than you. But first you should check that that’s your partner’s actual motivation behind the name: it doesn’t sound like you’ve discussed this with him.
OP says
Well, the school district thing won’t help because his work covers a huge area. And also we just bought a house we love in by far the best district.
But I also grew up in a small town and tend to think the name choice is irrelevant to this issue, so thanks for validating that.
AnotherAnon says
Just for added reassurance: I grew up next door to the DA. I had no idea what his job entailed until I left for college (and learned what a DA was heh). I went to HS with all three of his kids, who all played different sports, and it was totally NBD. We were in a crappy school district too, so you keep that dream house and name kiddo what you like!
Anon says
so DH wants to give kiddo your last name? not sure i agree with the motivation, but sounds great to me! i actually kind of wish i’d pushed DH to give the kids my last name bc my last name is going to die out with my generation, which makes me kind of sad
OP says
Actually, DH’s name is likely to die out unless we pass it on, and mine def won’t. But that’s a factor we should discuss, so thanks for bringing it up.
Anon says
I agree. Your kid gets your last name – that’s a win.
JL says
I have a gap in knowledge. I don’t know how to clean upholstery. My entire adult life (15+ years), we’ve had easy clean microfiber furniture. It doesn’t stain, and you just wipe things off with water. We’re working on upgrading our furniture, and we have a 5 year old. She’s not allowed to have much other than water and pre-approved dry snacks on the new furniture, but it really is time for me to learn how to clean a spill on furniture just in case. Please help. Thanks!
Anonymous says
Get it treated with stain repellant. Blot, don’t rub. And get it steam cleaned regularly.
Anonymous says
Would you go to a friend’s wedding in TX this October? If I go, I’ll have to fly. And if I somehow got a breakthrough delta case, we would all need to quarantine without child care for two weeks.
I just want to go and have a good time! Also the bride is under the impression that I’m attending, even though I have not formally RSVP’d. But I’m not sure the risks to my unvaxx’d kids (or to my sanity, if we have to quarantine) are worth it.
Anonymous says
Is the wedding outside? Will most others be vaxxed? How close is your friend/do you want to go? If it was a close friend, I’d go alone and make sure to mask and distance where possible.
OP says
Ceremony is outside but reception is inside, unfortunately. We’ll be somewhere rural–so not a lot of crowds, but I would have to guess that most locals are unvaxx’d. I don’t know the exact guest count, but it will be at least 100 people. Sigh sigh sigh.
Anon says
I wouldn’t. An indoor reception in rural Texas means that someone will definitely have Covid.
Hmmm says
I wouldn’t, personally. Frustrating not to be able to do this sort of thing, but to me? It wouldn’t be worth the risk of sickness, quarantine, etc.
Anonymous says
I would. I’m vaccinated. I understand the risks to myself, as well as my unvaccinated kiddo. If it was a dear friend, I would go.
Caveat that nobody in my circle is otherwise high risk (other than being unvaxxed)
Anon says
nope. i would maybe go if all was going to be outside and all guests were going to be vaccinated. unless things change A LOT between now and october. I live in TX (unfortunately) and we are one of the 5 states with less than 10% of ICU beds left. there does seem to be an uptick in vaccination so hopefully that will go down soon. right now i am not doing anything indoors unmasked. and if i were to do something indoors unmasked it would be with like one other person, not many people. i know quite a few people here who’ve had breakthrough cases. i might have felt differently back when we thought vaccinated people couldn’t spread covid, but since they can…
Anon4This says
OY – be nice, lots of proud Texans on this board (proud AND ashamed of our governor/state response)!
OP – I think it depends on the size of the wedding (10 people? 25? 50? 100+? are guests all required to be vaxxed?), WHERE in TX (Houston, Austin, Dallas vs. a smaller more rural town), and logistics. Speaking as a Texan in a major city, I do think things will get better here – vaccinations are surging and IF trends continue, we’ll be at 75% or more fully vaxxed by end of September.
I come from a culture of 200+ (minimum) people weddings over several days. While I wouldn’t go to one of those, a small wedding for a very close friend/family member with all vaxxed folks, while I KN-95, I would do.
Anon4This says
*Proud Texan AND Ashamed of our governor/state response, that is. No pride for Abbott.
Anon says
sorry sorry! i am a transplant to TX and while i do like our life here, the ‘proud texan’ hasn’t totally kicked in yet, in large part bc i’ve never lived in a state where i’ve been so embarrassed by the state government, where there are are so many Trump supporters and where i’ve encountered so many people who’ve never lived outside the state/have an interest in experiencing other places. it is hard to feel proud of a state where the state government makes so many policies that go against so many things i believe in – science, abortion, lgbtq+ rights, etc.
Anon4This says
Where do you live? Anecdata, but I recently moved back after spending ~15 years on the East Coast. And I 100% agree the state government is abysmal. I will also say, I felt the same when living in NY (a lot of people from different places, but a LOT of native folks to NYC/the suburbs had never lived elsewhere), and the micro-aggressions as a BIPOC I got in D.C. are unrivaled anywhere else (a lot of “liberal” people from smaller towns flock there and just don’t have a lot of world experience).
Granted, I live in a blue city/county, and in a liberal enclave within said place, so my family/friends don’t fall into the types of folks you mention (although I 100% have encountered more of these folkx since moving back – I mean, our pregnant neighbor didn’t get vaxxed last time I checked, and I have plenty of immigrant extended family that voted for Trump…)
Anon says
i will admit i’m a bit of a northeast snob now living in a blue city in TX and sometimes feel like an outsider because i didn’t go to UT or A&M. totally agree that a lot of our ny friends have never lived anywhere else, though almost all of them left for college (which i realize is a privilege), and i mean i can’t say i’d be proud of former governor cuomo and all of his policies, but if i had to pick i think i’d still choose him over Abbott. … i’ve also lived in MD, NYC, DC, PA. I am also part of a minority religion that is more prevalent in the northeast and it is just strange to be encountering people who’ve never previously met someone from my religion
Anon says
uh yeah, where do you live?! And you should probably move! I have lived in every major east coast city and Houston is by far the most diverse place I’ve been and has all those blue policies you listed. I think the last republican mayor was in the late 90s?
Anon says
I mean, Houston at least is waaaay more diverse than DC or Maryland or god forbid Boston. Or Philly! My goodness. I’ve lived in all those places except Maryland.
My daughter’s class had students from four different religions last year (14 kids) and they celebrated holidays for all of them. She strongly believes Diwali is the best. We get feedback on how much more interesting other kids lunches are. So maybe move to Houston and celebrate the diversity instead of being down on the state?
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+ Proud Houstonian here, child of Indian immigrants, plus 1000 to things folkx have said. Let’s not forget the first openly lesbian mayor of a major city was in Houston, too! I’ve lived on the East Coast, and besides NY, everywhere paled in diversity (and food), compared to Houston.
Anon says
whoa whoa. ok, sorry everyone! i actually live in Houston and as I said, i like living in the city itself! My (unfortunately) in my initial response was only in reference to Covid protocols in the state of TX and the current state of Covid in TX – neither of which are great, making a trip here right now higher risk than traveling to some other areas. I wish Abbott would let the local government do their own thing. and no i don’t like living in a state where people can now carry around guns without permits and schools are not allowed to have mask mandates. can i have Houston pride without having TX pride? Can we make Houston it’s own state. is that a thing? if so, i have lots of it :-)
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Well, the best thing about Houston is there are ALL kinds of peeps, right? Maybe one day we can have a H-town C-Moms meet up over chips and queso. :)
Our city and county leadership is good, and I appreciate their fight for what is right. Beyond thankful the districts near us have mask mandates, but hate that it was a fight. I agree on your statement re COVID protocols, but when I read some of the other comments on this board and how long people had to keep their kids out of daycare and school because of closures, it makes me thankful they were open here. Not saying there’s a right answer, because I don’t think there is except, prioritize school/childcare over bars…
I’m with you on the guns, even growing up here it’s something that I never understood…I just hope we have a governor with common sense gun laws one day very, very soon.
Other Houstonian says
I’m in!
Anon says
I feel like we might have the same friend.
Anonymous says
HA probably – this a grad school friend
Sleep says
I probably wouldn’t (but would consider going to a wedding in a different state, FWIW). If I didn’t have unvaxxed children my answer might be different.
oil in houston says
Being a Houstonian myself, I won’t add to the passionate exchange above, but I will say that I wouldn’t worry about the flying, you can wear a mask, it’s more the indoor eating that would be an issue for me. You’re not saying how old your kids are and whether they’d be going with you. As others have pointed out, covid is not pretty around here, and although it’s looking a bit better today, I don’t think it will last considering all schools are now back, most with no mask …
Would you consider going if the kids stayed behind? Is she that good of a friend that you’d go to the ceremony and any part of the reception outdoors but wouldn’t go indoors and leave at that point? Find out what you’re willing to do, and draw the line there. If you tell her with enough notice, she’ll understand, and will be able to offer your seat to someone else.
Furniture says
We desperately need new living room furniture. Couple of questions – what’s the best option with little kids; leather? Also, any idea where I can buy furniture these days that won’t take 10 years to be delivered?
Anon says
I feel like microfiber or performance velvet is basically indestructible. You’d need a little carpet cleaner for serious messes but mine has been through a lot and still looks new. I have no experience with leather.
Anonymous says
Washable microfiber covers.
Anonymous says
Anyone have tips to make it over the last potty training hurdle? 3yo daughter has been using toilet fairly regularly for about 9 months, but has only once made it a full day without an accident. We got her a watch about 6 weeks ago and now she’s down to about 1 accident per day, usually because she feels the watch buzz and decides not to go, then realizes she needs to go too late. She’s supposed to be fully trained before preschool which starts in a few weeks. Any tips/ tricks/ ideas? Thanks!
anon says
Our son took a long time to be fully, fully potty-trained. (It was super fun. He would pee when we told him “no” to something.) It went better we stayed as calm as we possibly could, but still had him “clean” up the mess — including carrying the dirty laundry to the laundry machine, spraying the pee, and having to be wiped down or bathed (note- NOT a fun bath – we did a quick, barely warm bath or wipe-down). It wasn’t mean or anything, but he didn’t like the time and annoyance of it all. Also, I’d communicate with preschool because you don’t want negativity/pressure to undo all the training you, and she, has already done. If she’s this close I’m sure she’ll get there soon. Don’t let them create new issues like constipation etc.
Good luck!
Anon says
i wouldn’t worry so much about preschool. my 3 year old twins just started preschool and we have yet to make it through one day where one of htem doesn’t come home in different clothes. so far they haven’t had any potty accidents, but their dress ends up in the potty, or they dont pull their undees down far enough, etc. obviously that is different than an actual accident, but i’d bet a lot of people are in a similar boat. at school they have set potty times and everyone else is going too, so i dont think deciding not to go is an option
Mommasgottasleep says
I would call this fully trained. Tbh once I backed off “reminders” and nagging, kiddo stopped having accidents. YMMV but our day care expects a few accidents and requests extra clothing be sent weekly to cover these instances.
Anon says
Need a gut check. Child goes to in home daycare (up to preschool). At drop off today I looked into the window and noticed an older boy (at least 7) playfully air slapping one of the baby’s butts. I can’t really describe it but it was more than a “pat.” Sometimes the provider allows former students to come if she knows other kids are out for the day and has the space. I did not mention it but have been thinking about it all day and would like to mention it to her. I do not think it is appropriate for an elementary school child to be doing that, and would like to get everyone’s thoughts.
Any advice on going about this? If I were the baby girl’s parent I would be very upset.
Anonymous says
what is air slapping – are you saying he didn’t even actually touch the butt in question? Is it possible the child is related to the baby? Are you worried about a sexual abuse situation or physical abuse or ?
Op says
The child and baby are definitely not related. Air slapping was a poor description—baby is on her hands and knees in a crawling position and the boy is behind her waving his palm back and forth at her butt (palm facing the wall, fingers grazing the butt).
I would not go as far as to say sexual or physical abuse but my gut rxn did not like it.
Anonymous says
Like…fanning the air? Maybe she took a giant poop ;).
I agree that I’d ask what the kid was doing there, though.
anon says
Honestly, I wouldn’t like it but as the parent of elementary age boys… they do weird stuff sometimes for no discernible reasons.
anon says
My concern here would be with an older child “dropping in” without notice. Caveat that we’ve never used an in-home daycare, and I know the dynamics are different from a classroom-style daycare, but I would be concerned about whether there is adequate supervision for such a wide range of ages. I also would be very concerned about a school age child showing up during the school day right now. Why isn’t he in school and/or his regular care setting? Is he supposed to be quarantined? This just seems like an odd situation separate and apart from the behavior you saw today.
Anonymous says
obviously OP would know whether this is the case in her area, but school hasn’t started yet everywhere. signed, antiquated midwest laws requiring school to start after labor day
Sleep says
I don’t think I’d like that either but am also not sure how I would handle it in your shoes. I wonder if the provider intervened or if you could mention it and ask if she did? I don’t have much experience with that age group but it seems like they should understand keeping your hands to yourself by that age.
anon says
Trust your gut. It could be nothing. Or it could be an older child acting out/grooming red flag. It’s not a Child X needs to be disciplined issue, but it is something caregivers should be noting and watching for patterns. Consent Parenting has good resources on how to approach. Might be a good time to ask about the caregivers’ background checks, prevention policies, and age-appropriate consent policies (i.e., we stop tickling when a child says stop. always.). I know two sexual abusers in my family, and with both there were ignored and brushed off red flags, so I’m very sensitive on this topic.