This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
It’s September and this dress epitomizes fall.
I often turn to & Other Stories for wardrobe staples with novel cuts or details. This collared, long-sleeved midi dress has an asymmetric, overlapping placket secured with hidden buttons and a self-tie belt (so no wardrobe malfunctions).
I love the moody and sophisticated chain link print. I’d brighten it up with some gold jewelry or even a red scarf or shawl.
This dress is $99 and available in sizes 0–12.
It’s selling out quickly — so check out these two options at Nordstrom from Loveappella and Fourteenth Place.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
How long does it take a 4 year old to adjust back from a big time change? We were on the opposite coast for two weeks and things are grim. Anything to do other than keep waking up at normal time and have a cranky tired kid till they can get themselves to bed at normal time?
Anon says
Have you tried melatonin before bed to help them try to get back on track? Use Zarbee’s chewies from Target or drug stores. I assume opposite coast means about 3 hours – I would expect that it might take a few days but should resolve soon.
Anonymous says
For us it was about 1 hour/day, although my son was 7ish. So 3-4 days for a 3 hour change.
Cb says
My husband sprained his ankle and can’t put any weight on it and my kid has a cough and is home awaiting PCR results…I’m hiding in the kitchen while they watch a show about farms on telly.
Anonymous says
If you think he might have COVID, put a mask on! Husband and I are both currently dealing with breakthrough infections we contracted from our son, and I kind of wish I had tried harder to isolate. Although not sure how realistic that is for 10+ days in a small apartment. Hopefully it is nothing and your husband is better soon!
Anonymous says
Seconding this! My friend’s kid had it in April but they masked up and managed to avoid catching it. Still had to isolate for X period but could WFH because they weren’t sick.
Cb says
It’s just a wet cough so I’m pretty sure he’s okay, but who knows…. the woman working the testing centre said it’s all kids now that schools are back.
Anon says
Public health where I live says most transmission right now is happening in homes where one person is sick and then everybody else gets it. More so than ever because the delta variant is so transmissible. I’d wear a mask.
ASD or pandemic effects? says
How do you know if your child is on the spectrum or is just socially impacted and shy from the pandemic? My nearly 3YO son is an only child and was home until March 2021, basically never interacting with other kids from when he was 1.5YO to 2.5YO. He’s been back at daycare since March 2021. The teachers check off the daily report boxes for “peer play” and “parallel play,” but when I’m with him at the playground he keeps to himself. He also resists taking turns with me and my husband, and he doesn’t do much pretend play, opting instead to figure out the mechanics of things. He is also shy when he meets new people. Will these social concerns get better as he is more socialized this coming year? Or should I be concerned about ASD? Important note: he had an expressive language delay and is now caught up on that but continues to receive therapy for his articulation.
Anon says
Nothing about the above really strikes me as ASD instead of being shy and getting used to people. What has his pediatrician said when you asked about this?
Anonymous says
+1. Our ped screens for ASD at most well child visits, so they seem to have a good handle on the signs and symptoms. I’d start with your doctor.
Anon says
it could also be neither ASD nor pandemic effects and this is just your kid’s personality. kids also often act very different when mom and dad are around than when they are. my twins just started preschool and i went to pick them up one day and the second one of my kids saw me, she started whining/on the verge of the tantrum and when the teacher saw her behave like that she was shocked bc she said she had never even seen a glimpse of that at school. if you have concerns talk to your kid’s teachers and the pediatrician.
Anonymous says
You talk to your pediatrician
Anonymous says
This seems normal even without a pandemic. I don’t talk to random strangers when I go to the park and it never occurred to me that my kids might play with random kids. No kids like taking turns at that age.
If the preschool teachers haven’t flagged it and his speech pathologist has not flagged it, I highly doubt it’s an issue.
This is a good reference for autism signs and it doesn’t sound like basically any of these are met. Just like adults, kids will have different interests. In preschool, one of my twins loved pretend play, the other loved mud (peppa pig and muddy puddles were his idols). At 8 you can imagine which one likes forest school daycamp and biking and which one asks for theatre daycamp and is in the local boy choir (virtually at least).
Anonymous says
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/signs.html
OP says
OP here – I last spoke with the pediatrician about this 6 months or so ago. She wasn’t concerned then, saying some kids are quirky and that it was most important to focus on our son’s articulation issues. I just continue to feel uneasy because he also seems to lack motivation to master tasks (for example, it is a slog every day to get him to put on his clothes, wash his hands, etc), stay on track sometimes (he is very impulsive), and engage with others for the purpose of play. But maybe this isn’t super atypical for a nearly 3YO?!
Anonymous says
Yes I think this sounds fairly typical for this age. It’s great that you got services for his articulation issues. I think it doesn’t hurt to ask your peds about it if you’re concerned or just want to talk it over, but shyness, not wanting to take turns when with his most loving/trusted caregivers (parents), stalling and getting distracted…all sounds well within the range of expected behavior.
Anonymous says
Ummm…. these are issues I still have with my 6 year old and 9 year old. And I know they are not behind based on their report cards. Just this morning older kid was reading Harry Potter in her room when she was supposed to be getting dressed for daycamp. And I can’t even get into the impulsive stuff the 6 year old does. Luca movie and ‘silencio Bruno’ will be the end of me.
Parallel play is not uncommon for 3 year olds. And your expectations seem really high for a 3 year old re staying focused on getting dressed, remembering to wash hands etc.
AnonMD says
I’m a pediatrician who does autism evaluations in this age group and honestly, I’d encourage you to push your pediatrician for a referral for an evaluation. Not necessarily because anything you’re saying is a red flag but for a couple of reasons:
1) parental concern has been proven to be the most sensitive tool we have to determine developmental delays. I always tell my patient’s parents “if you’re uneasy, I’m uneasy until proven otherwise”.
2) our waitlists are insanely long. Like 6+ months. Get the appointment now and if you don’t have concerns later you can cancel (pleeeease call and cancel though).
3) About 50% of kids I see for an evaluation are NOT given an autism diagnosis. It’s really common and I’m happy to reassure.
4) early interventions lead to the best outcome. I do what I do not because I want to “label” a child, but because I want my patients to have access to life changing therapies ASAP
Anon says
you sound like a fantastic doc!
Anon says
+1!
Anonymous says
This.
I have a kid with ASD-1 who passed every screening but it was obvious that kid was atypical. Our doc was very “it is all fine” but it was not all fine. An initial DX was ADHD (not with any H, the distractable kind) but that was not what was chiefly wrong, which was being on the spectrum. Finally diagnosed at age 10. So much wasted time. I want to cry and scream sometimes.
Anon. says
Yeah, this sounds super normal to me as compared to my just turned 4 yr old.
Anonymous says
All of that sounds normal
Anon says
Honestly sounds like it’s his personality! I have a kid more like this. I’m not sure I’d blame either ASD or pandemic!
(and if it is personality, it’ll mellow, but maybe he is a shy kid?)
I’d talk to pediatrician about more specific stuff.
anon says
You might consider having 1:1 playdates with some kids in his class to help build those relationships.
Anonymous says
Ok it sounds normal but just contact Infants & Toddlers or Child Find in your area to get him evaluated!! Depends on his age. You don’t need a referral from your pediatrician. It’s free. And they’re experts.
Anon says
for those of you on the more cautious side of the covid spectrum, how are you handling if work trips come up. DH just told me has to go on a team retreat in October to Arizona and that some vaccinated people from europe are coming in for this retreat. This summer pre-Delta I was totally fine with us being indoors among groups of vaccinated adults. Now with Delta and school starting, we have resumed only outdoor socializing bc we live in an area with high transmission and know quite a few people who’ve had breakthrough infections. we live in an apartment so we can’t really have DH quarantine upon return. ideas?
Anon says
Husband has been traveling a lot for work over the past few weeks, including a week in the hottest of hot spots (super fun!). He’s vaccinated and masking with a KN95 when in a room with other people for depositions. He’s getting takeout and eating in his hotel room if possible, which is nearly all the time. He’s not quarantining from us after travel because that’s just not possible for us at this time.
Anonymous says
Honestly at this point if it’s a job requirement he goes and you hope it is fine. Vaccinated people from Europe is no more an issue than vaccinated people from the US. Not everyone is able to continue to refuse to do any work travel.
Anon says
+1 DH makes eight times more than I do. I really don’t feel like we’re in a position financially to push back here. And no one from his office is (they resumed travel in February as vaccinations started to be available and haven’t looked back – he takes one trip every two weeks or so?) These definitely include dinners although it sounds like he tries to schedule outside whenever possible.
I have had him do every now and then rapid tests at home. If he has symptoms, we’ll send him in for a PCR. But it’s a cost of doing business right now and he’s worked hard to get to where he is in his job. His industry is not the sympathetic type.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 – Not the same, but similar. DH is currently on business travel to a low-vaxx country. It seems that most of his interactions with the potentially non-vaxxed people will be outdoors or in large warehouse type environments with ventilation. Not great, but it is what it is. He has a pack of KN-95s and will be rapid tested throughout the trip, which isn’t a guarantee of anything but is better than not taking any precautions. We’ve talked about him masking/quarantining until negative PCR results when he gets back.
Anon says
If everyone at the conference is required to be vaccinated, and especially if they are required to show evidence of being vaccinated, I wouldn’t worry excessively. What alternatives are there other than him telling his work that he’s uncomfortable due to Covid and will skip the event?
TheElms says
My kid’s school requires parents to quarantine away from child or pull child out of school pending PCR test results for all travel outside the area. So for me that means very little travel, including work travel is feasible.
Anon says
where do you live? i wish this was a requirement at my kids’ school
TheElms says
DC area, but its a private preschool, so they have more leeway. We knew the requirements would be fairly strict when we decided to enroll and that was a plus for us. We’re fortunate that we have space to quarantine in the house and away from kiddo, but logistically it would be tough. They are also planning to test everyone before school starts (to hopefully catch and exclude any asymptomatic cases) and after the winter break (because they anticipate most families will travel). Unclear what they plan to do around Thanksgiving (break is short and that makes it harder to figure out how to fit testing in).
Anon says
which school lin DC? if you don’t mind sharing
Pogo says
This was us last year, not sure if it’ll go back to that.
Anon says
thanks all. it is not a conference. it is a team retreat. why they can’t wait for this retreat i do not know. the part that makes me most nervous is the eating that will likely be done at the resort’s restaurants since there will be other people at those
Anon says
So, I had to do a work trip that involved eating in a restaurant, and speaking to 150+ people indoors in a place where very few people were vaccinated and the ICUs were filling up. It was not worth the political capitol to avoid the trip altogether.
Happy to report that my vaccine was effective. No illness.
Anon says
very glad to hear that you did not get sick. that being said, vaccinated people can still get sick and spread covid – though that does not mean the vaccine isn’t working! as long as it is keeping you from getting super sick/hospitalized it is working
Anonymous says
I would encourage your husband to push back and organize colleagues to do the same. Pre-pandemic, staff in my department got a really sketchy-sounding retreat (to an ashram that appeared to be run by a cult) cancelled by raising enough concerns.
Pogo says
Did you ask about this on here? I think I remember this!!
Anonymous says
I did!
Anonymous says
My DH has an exec retreat coming up next week. it’s in Vermont and is going to be “as outdoor as possible” whatever that means (we think this means outdoor business dinners and meeting outside unless the weather is awful). IDK, they’re in healthcare and all vaccinated. He’s driving not flying.
Anon says
Can he stay in a hotel for 2-3 days and then test? Any friends with a basement where he could stay? Would work pay for some of the expense to quarantine upon return (I know some companies are doing this)?
Anonymous says
The late thread yesterday about the older kid at the in home daycare got me thinking – as a first time parent, as my son is getting older (almost 1) I’m thinking more and more about safety (in general but also grooming or related red flags like the thread mentioned). There are often things I don’t realize or consider until they happen (right now that’s mostly dangerous things around the house) or I read about happening to other people and think wow I never would’ve worried about that. Do people have any wisdom they can share about anything they’ve learned related to safety, grooming related or otherwise? I did read protecting the gift by Gavin de Becker which I loved.
Anonymous says
Re. yesterday’s discussion, I am a little skeptical that a 7-year-old has the planning capacity to engage in “grooming.” Sure, a 7-year-old can be a weirdo or a predator, but grooming is something that happens over an extended period of time with the goal of a delayed payoff. Most 7-year-olds can’t even wait five minutes for a cookie. Does a 7-year-old predator really operate in the same way as an adult predator?
OP says
I agree. I guess I read that and thought Hmm, I wouldn’t like it if someone did that to my kid and I’d probably say something (although finding your voice to speak up for your kid as a new parent is also a process!) but it feels like when you send your kid to daycare you trust them and then give up control over these things? Maybe my question/comment was just about how it can feel hard to always be on the lookout for your kid. For instance I chose a daycare because I felt like that was greatest oversight but now I’ve noticed that when I pick up my kid, there is sometimes an older kid waiting for pickup with the owners husband in the front office. Do I think anything’s suspicious? No. He works there too technically. And I nothing against him. But I suppose I’d prefer my kid not be alone with a man as a regular practice.
Anonymous says
It’s a balance. You still need to trust your instincts and speak up when something doesn’t seem right. I just don’t think it is useful to accuse a 7-year-old of grooming. Speak up about the specific behavior and the fact that an extra, older kid you didn’t know about was present? Absolutely.
My daughter is a gymnast and I am very aware of how parents are conditioned not to question coaches and “the system” and the terrible things that have resulted, so I would not advise that you just “give up control.”
anon says
No said anything about accusing a 7-year-old of grooming. But a kid that is being groomed is having their understanding of boundaries messed with, so they sometimes will roughhouse too much, etc.
Anonymous says
No, yesterday someone definitely said the 7-year-old was grooming the infant. Which was kind of extreme.
anon says
Grooming red flag as in that older child could be being groomed by an adult. Again, kids who get abused often display warning signs that get ignorned.
What? says
Are we really willing to label 7 year old a “predator” now? Maybe I’m not up to date with the lingo but this seems not ok. A 7 year old is a child.
anon says
My comment yesterday is getting wildly, wildly misconstrued. No one called a 7yo a predator. BUT, again, a 7yo acting out CAN be a sign of that 7yo being a child victim. A 7yo acting sexually inappropriate should NOT be disciplined or shamed. But, the adults in that 7yo’s life should be aware that it COULD be a sign that someone in that 7yo’s life is acting inappropriately.
What? says
Sorry, I wasn’t referring to any comments yesterday. I meant the indication in this thread that a 7 year old could be a “predator.”
What? says
Specifically the comment above that “sure a 7 year old can be a weirdo or a predator.”
Anon says
Can a 7 year old really even be a “predator”? They’re a child. I’m not saying you don’t need to take steps to protect your own child from kids that may be acting out things they experienced themselves, but I’m not okay putting that label on a child.
anon says
Poster from yesterday again. I’m sorry to keep coming back to this, but my comment is just being totally misconstrued and I’m getting upset because this is an important topic. I said, in part: “Or it could be an older child acting out/grooming red flag. It’s not a Child X needs to be disciplined issue, but it is something caregivers should be noting and watching for patterns.”
Again, a 7yo is not a preditor or “grooming.” BUT a 7yo can show signs of being abused! One sign is that a child is being groomed or abused that the child then acts out in a sexually inappropriate way. Please, do not label a 7yo a “predator” or walk away from this virtual conversation thinking that is what anyone here advocated! Instead, pay attention to the children in your lives for signs of adults grooming your children or the children AROUND them.
Anon says
I was referring to anon at 10:07 today
Anonymous says
I started telling my girls that no one but them touches their bathing suit parts at age 5 (doctors, with a parent there, being an exception). We have grown that conversation as they got older.
Anon. says
My pediatrician started the conversation with my son at his 4-yr well check.
Anonymous says
Yes we started talking about this at 3.5-4. “We don’t show people parts covered by underwear, and other people shouldn’t show us those parts”.
anon says
Our daycare started that in preschool. “Don’t let anyone touch your butt.” I also do the “if it doesn’t feel right in your tummy tell a grownup” and “surprises are ok but no secrets from mom and dad”
anon says
A commenter from yesterday here again. A few things you can certainly do with really young kids. Start trying to teach and model boundaries. It’s really hard for a lot of adults, especially women. But, we don’t force hugs and kisses. We tell the kids, in front of adults, “please say bye and thank you to Grandma and Grandpa. You can hug or high five or blow a kiss. We’ll be leaving shortly.” The sooner you start this, the easier for everyone. Tickling and roughhousing is also a good boundary setting – as soon as someone says “no” or “stop” we stop. Parents, siblings, anyone. It also teaches kids to say how they feel. Also, teach proper body part names. Learn signs of abuse with children. Speak up when you see something. One thing may be a one-off, but if enough people notice enough “off” things, that individual may be grooming. And groomers get away with things by incrementally more inappropriate things.
Many children who are groomed and/or assaulted often act out with inappropriate behavior/touching/roughhousing, and it is often how sexual assault is exposed, especially in an extended family.
This is hard sometimes, but seriously worth the slight discomfort to teach your kids how to actually have boundaries and respect others’ boundaries. Sexual assault by relatives/close family friends is SO common and so devasting, so if you can avoid it by making it too hard for a potential abuser/groomer, do it.
Cb says
One of my mom friends shared this traffic light system, which helps you identify what type of behaviour is normal at different ages. It’s used to id cases of exploitation, but I think it’s helpful for parents to read as well.
JL says
I recommend the book Amazing You, which I heard about on here. We got it when kiddo was around 4. She’s almost 6 now, and I pull it out every few months for a refresher.
Mommasgottasleep says
I’m a foster parent, and here are my three takeaways from sexual abuse awareness training: 1) always always always trust your gut – people can be unsafe for your child while not meeting the criteria for sexual abuse, 2) teach your child body safety and 3) listen to them when they share with you. Never interrogate your child. If they come to you with an incident, contact the police.
Everyone who interacts with my children *while I’m not around* must be background checked. And anyone who makes me feel uncomfortable for any reason, even if it seems stupid, doesn’t get access to my children unless I’m there (even then sometimes we avoid them). This is not a fun topic, but I think it’s so important.
Anon says
wait, so if your kids have drop-off playdates or go to a birthday party. you run a background check on the parents?
Mommasgottasleep says
My kids have never been to a drop off play date or birthday party where I or their dad was not present.
Anon says
If you’re a foster parent, at least in my state, you can’t just drop the kids off for a play date, no. And one parent sticks around for birthday parties – it’s just how the laws work. There’s a network of foster parents and they can have play dates with each other?
Anonymous says
Most of the foster parents I know have a close knit foster parent network, and it is who they socialize with. I never thought it might be becuase of this. I think they just have become really good friends going through fostering together.
Yesterday’s OP says
OP from yesterday. I did not think the behavior was grooming or predatorial—I thought it was weird and inappropriate for a seven year old to be touching a baby’s butt. This was the kind of behavior I would expect the 2 year olds in the daycare to engage in, not an elementary aged child; even then, I would expect some discussion of “we don’t touch each other” to be happening at that age. Also, if a seven year old touched another seven year old’s butt, the other seven year old has the capacity to say something (“stop!” “What are you doing?”) or do something in retaliation to signal that it’s not ok.
I told the daycare provider upon pick up so that she knows it happened and that she could keep a closer eye on the big kids’ interactions with the babies or have a discussion about personal space with everyone.
Sleep says
This seems like a good way to handle it, I’m glad you mentioned it to the provider.
Anon says
Any tips on convincing a newly turned two year old to wear a mask? He will not even consider putting one on. Teachers and kids in daycare are wearing them and they are now mandatory. I sent in a couple and said basically said good luck this morning.
Anonymous says
Not sure if this will work for you, but just the pressure of everyone else in the classroom wearing masks convinced my 2 year old. After a few weeks he’s had no problem wearing it all day.
anon says
My son is a little older, but he first refused to wear any mask that went around his ears, so we used the Primary masks that go around the back of the head. Eventually he got used to masks in general and now tolerates the ear loop masks too. I suggest practicing with costume masks at home so he gets accustomed to it.
anon says
We also started with ones that went around the head rather than ear loops, as suggested above. Would he respond well to being given a choice between two different masks so he feels some ownership over it?
anon says
To get younger preschoolers comfortable, I’ve heard of parents allowing screen time only if the kid has a mask on properly. Then they transition to general wear.
For a 2 yo, you might also consider making it part of a costume. My 2 yo would wear anything as part of a superhero or animal costume.
Anon says
lots of putting masks on stuffed animals, seeing mom and dad wearing masks, matching masks. having kiddo wear mask for two minutes and getting excited about it, etc. i have yet to hear of a kid getting kicked out of a daycare over this as long as the parents are trying
Anon says
My kid is going to kindergarten and I’m feeling anxious about it. It’s a half day program, so the logistics of getting kid there and back to child care are annoying. But also, I’m worried about the expectations of school for parents and for kids. The supply lists! The acceptable lunches! The insane amount of PD days! It just seems that school is not set up for two parents who work. I know in my heart of hearts that it will be fine – my kid has been happy at every child care option they’ve ever been to, but I can’t shake the anxiety I’m feeling about meeting the expectations school has of me. Anyone experienced this?
Anonymous says
Oh, absolutely. I think I went on a rant about homeschooling when I found out that my picky, underweight kid would not be allowed to have peanut butter. Public school is waaaaaaay more difficult than day care. I was a very happy working mom right up until my kid entered elementary school. Every day since then I have wanted to quit and become a SAHM. The thing that can preserve your sanity is a good after-school program with coverage on days school is closed, or a nanny. I have never had access to either of these things.
Anonymous says
How was it surprising to hear that peanut butter wasn’t allowed? Peanut butter allergies are super common and so are bans on pb in school.
Anon says
If you have never had a kid in a lunch setting in a school before and you don’t have a child with allergies, I can 100% see how it would be surprising. New parents aren’t paying attention to peanut butter allergies if it doesn’t affect them. For what it’s worth, the nearby large public school systems and private schools offer peanut-free tables but not peanut-free schools.
Anonymous says
Exactly. I was expecting peanut-free tables. If you’ve never had a severely picky eater, you just don’t get the level of stress over food restrictions.
Anon says
And if you haven’t had a food allergy child, you don’t understand how freeing it is to know your child isn’t going to die within a few mins of accidentally eating a bite of your child’s sandwich. Just seems selfish to complain about this. I felt the same way until I had a food allergy child.
Hmmmm says
If you’re upset about peanut butter restrictions, you need to educate yourself about how common and extremely dangerous peanut butter allergies are. Peanut free tables aren’t enough to protect a child with a peanut allergy, and I’m sure none of us want our child’s lunch to be the reason another child ends up in the hospital or worse.
Anon says
Wow, this seems like an extreme reaction to me. It is possible to simultaneously understand that these types of restrictions are necessary and also be upset because this is one of your kid’s safe foods and now you need to worry about what you are feeding for lunch. I reject the shame you’re forcing in this comment.
Hmmmm says
I’m not forcing any shame on anyone – I didn’t say “you’re a terrible person”, only that you may not understand the issue.
If you are outraged about peanut restrictions in 2021, I have to think you really don’t understand the severity of peanut allergies or how common they are.
And no, my kids don’t have food allergies so this really isn’t personal. But I’ve seen what can happen to a peanut-allergic child who is accidentally exposed to peanut butter (even if they don’t ingest it – having it on hands or tables and touching it is enough if they are severely allergic.)
I have to think it people on this board really understood, they would gladly forgo sending a peanut butter sandwich with their child to school.
Hmmm says
That should say “having it on their hands and touching it to their eyes or mouth”
Anon says
I have also witnessed a peanut allergic reaction in real time. It is tough. But to tell a parent of a very picky eater that they should “gladly” give up this safe food for there kid is a bit much. They don’t have to be glad to understand. It can just suck.
Anon says
Quick note on the peanut butter issue – a plug for the various sunbutters that are around. I was able to successfully swap Trader Joe’s sunflower butter in for peanut butter in my VERY picky son’s sandwiches when he had a peanut-free daycare classroom due a severely peanut-allergic classmate. I think the grape jelly hid it well. That is totally acceptable in peanut-free and tree nut-free classrooms!
Anon says
Yeah sunbutter is great. Confused about this peanut butter complaint! I’d be kind of shocked if an elementary school allowed it.
Hmmmm says
Agreed!
Anon says
This is a great tip. I will have to use it later. Thanks!
Signed, a mom of a baby with severe food allergies.
Anonymous says
Yup. Pro tip—you must regularly volunteer at the school during the school day if you want your child to be considered for any awards, special opportunities, or competitive programs.
Anonymous says
This isn’t the case in my school at all
GCA says
What? This isn’t the case in my kid’s school, and sounds like an insane school culture.
Anonymous says
Well, that is how it works here. Compare the volunteer list and the good citizenship award list and you will be floored. All the kids who get awards either have super involved parents or are the “bad” kids. A child who was caught in the act of plagiarizing from my child got a good citizen award the next semester. It is nuts. Casting for the school play works the same way. Why was the star always the kid who took guitar lessons from the music teacher and whose mom was friends with him, even though she can’t carry a tune? Hmmmm.
Anon says
I’m starting to see this at my son’s school. There is definitely a lot of favoritism.
Anonymous says
Oh, and volunteer opportunities are gendered. Moms can volunteer weekly during school hours or bake/cook for the monthly themed teacher luncheons. Dads get to take one day off work to volunteer for the whole day. They get a special t-shirt, their photo in the yearbook, and a PA announcement. Working moms are not allowed to participate. The dad volunteer program is called “watchdogs”— if your school has it, I am sorry.
anon says
MONTHLY themed luncheons?!
Anonymous says
Yup. One is “pi day”—bring a pie cut into exactly six slices. Another is “souper bowl”—bring a crockpot of homemade chili or a pan of homemade cornbread. There is one with chicken salad sandwiches on croissants…
Anon says
i am surprised you can bring food cooked in your home. ours is only prepackaged food
Anonymous says
This is for the teachers only, not the kids.
CCLA says
This is cringey. My older kid starts kinder next year, wow I hope we’re not in for this (but will brace myself).
Anon says
Volunteer opportunities at schools are a way to get women to stop working for pay and start working for free. Hard pass.
anon says
What kind of rules are you getting from school about lunches? We have supply lists (pretty generic: notebooks, folders, pencils, scissors, gluesticks, etc) but that’s just one thing at the beginning of the year and then they can bring whatever they want for lunch in K so I’m just packing the same things I did for daycare.
anon says
School absolutely isn’t set up for two-parent working families. That said, I’ve been at this for awhile now. What’s helped us make it through is having good before/aftercare and a plan for non-school days. Luckily, many daycares and YMCAs in the area offer programs for those days, which means we can pick and choose which days we want to take off for some bonus time, and which days we simply need to work. You don’t need to do every volunteer opportunity at school; I promise you there are PLENTY of parents who don’t. If it’s important to you to go on a field trip, hopefully you’d have enough advance notice that you could take the day off if you really wanted to. But it’s not essential. Be easy to work with, communicate with your child’s teacher as needed, and I promise both you and your kid will be FINE. There are many ways to be involved in your child’s education.
So Anon says
Agree wholeheartedly. If it was in question prior to the pandemic, the pandemic with remote learning made it clear that public schools (and even the private schools in my area) were not set-up to accommodate two working parents or single parents. I found that after the first year or two, I got into a groove of knowing about PD days well ahead of time and the options for alternative care. There is no way that I can regularly volunteer in my kids’ school, and I am fine with that. I try and go on a field trip each year with each kid, and I stay in regular contact with my kids’ teachers. Regarding school lunches – if the rules are regarding specific ingredients to which others may be allergic, you will find alternates that work. If there are guidelines about what is “healthy” or “recommended,” I give those a solid nope. I once had a teacher push back because I sent something “unhealthy” for lunch. It received a quick response that my kids’ food intake was monitored closely under the direction of a Ped GI and registered dietitian. (I think the lunch in question involved chocolate milk and an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie that had protein powder added.)
Anonymous says
One thing to be aware of is that parents are now expected to do most of the teaching that used to happen in the classroom. For example, in second grade my daughter was assigned to write a report. When I had to write a report in elementary school, the teacher took us to the school library to check out books, taught us how to use the card catalog, and inspected all of the sources we had chosen. Then she taught us to take notes on notecards, which we turned in. Same with the outline, first draft, and final draft. For my daughter’s report, I had to take her to the library and teach her to find sources, walk her through the note-taking and outlining processes, etc. myself. The teacher did not address any of this in the classroom or even provide worksheets, instructions, or examples to help the kids figure the process out themselves. This was not just one bad teacher, either—every teacher operated this way.
Anon says
then what did the teacher do? i don’t understand this at all
Original Anon above says
While the above comments haven’t exactly altered my anxiety, I like that we are all in this together! I’m just going to focus on the kid having a positive experience. Oh and the school supply list was incredibly specific – specifying the only store, for example, in our city that carried a specific product but not any of the others. Oy.
Anonymous says
OP, schools and school culture ranges so dramatically around the US since the system is so localized, so you’re getting a wide variety of perspectives. One thing I love about my son’s school is that they don’t ask for supplies, just $30 at the beginning of the year and then the teachers buy what they need and give it to kids. It is optional so kids whose families can’t afford this still get the resources they need. This is one plus of being part of a system that really caters to families with very limited resources. (NYC public school). Working parents are also the norm here, although we still have plenty of random half days, etc, and it is a challenge to balance it all. But parent teachers conferences are always offered in both day and evening slots, for example.
Anon says
Ugh, feeling saddened, anxious, and in need of diversion today. Anyone have any special plans for the upcoming long weekend? Bonus points if it’s low-risk and something I can copy with my toddler!
So Anon says
If you need a pick me up, and are of the younger GenX/elder millennial generation (would have watched the Simpsons as a kid/teen), I highly recommend looking for the clip of what occurred at a recent school board meeting in Henrico County, VA.
Anonymous says
Aaaugh I live in Hanover and need to move to Henrico. Our school board meeting got taken over by an anti-mask militia.
Cb says
Is there a wood nearby? We have had great luck building a den with a wood (we have a den kit but a sheet, a rope, and a picnic blanket would be fine). Bring books and snacks and just hang out and listen to the birds.
Curious says
This sounds so lovely!
Mommasgottasleep says
Tie dye kit!
Curious says
If baby isn’t here yet, we are going to go walk around one of the big city parks!
(But if you could root for baby to come, I would be grateful.)
Anonymous says
Maybe the walk will motivate baby!
Curious says
Five miles yesterday didn’t (Seriously. The farthest I’ve walked in a day since January maybe?) but we will keep it up! Fingers crossed :)
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I posted above. DH is on business travel, kids are in school, and I am in an EMPTY home (no spouse grumbling at his office computer! No dual lunches to be made!) and it feels like heaven. I should add I have a local grandparent around for copious help, but even with additional responsibilities (e.g. the dog), it is SO NICE to have a break from DH and the constant togetherness of the pandemic.
Anonymous says
Amazing! Enjoy your peace and quiet!
Anon says
Are you me? Same here this week! Enjoy it.
Anon says
Oops posted on the main page instead of here.
Neighbor kid is turning 9. He likes Minecraft and spongebob. Any gift recs? Budget is $20. Thanks in advance!
Anon says
Target has some great Minecraft lego sets in that price range.
anon says
+1
Anon says
Did not know these existed! Thanks!
anonamommy says
Another Covid travel question. We’ve been invited to two weddings in October (3 weeks apart). We have one 7 year old who starts school next week. Would you go to these? We have to RSVP soon and my instinct is no for both, but then I feel like an antisocial curmudgeon. In non-covid times we would definitely attend both.
Wedding 1: Bride is a close friend of DH and I, requires a 90-minute plane ride to a low-vax state (not feasibly drivable in a weekend). 70 guests, with lots of small children. We will know maybe 10 other people there. Planning for outside but contingency plan for inside. We don’t have any local family or friends that we could easily leave kiddo with to go adults-only.
Wedding 2: Groom is a medium friend of DH’s, 45-minute drive. 120 people, indoors. We wouldn’t know anyone else there (maybe 2-4 people at most). High-vax city but bride grew up in a religious sect that is anti-vax (I don’t think she is still a member though).
Anonymous says
No to both, if only because there is probably a 50% likelihood that your 7-year-old will be in quarantine for COVID exposure at school on any given date in October.
anon says
No to wedding 2. Why bother? That seems like an easy skip.
Wedding 1 seems like a maybe to me. I probably wouldn’t go b/c of kid, but I could see going.
Curious says
+1
NYCer says
+2. Is one of your closer to bride 1 than the other? (e.g., she is your friend from college) If so, would either of you consider going to wedding 1 alone?
GCA says
+3. I would try to have at least one adult show up for wedding 1 as it sounds like your friend means a lot to you. As part of risk assessment, if you are close, I’d try quietly chatting with bride about likely vax status of other adult guests (if guests have small children they may be more covid-cautious, but maybe the couple has some anti-vax family members, etc etc). I’d keep the kid home regardless.
anon says
no and no
anon says
There’s no way I’d bring an unvaccinated child on a plane or to a wedding right now (unless it was local, outside, masked, and each household ate at a separate table). We’re less than 6 months out for a vaccine for kids. It’s not worth risking my kid getting sick or risking my family being a vector that gets others sick or shuts down school.
Anonymous says
I mean, I think it depends on your risk profile. Are you going on plane ride vacations, eating indoors at restaurants w/your kid, and similar? If so, I guess consider it. If not (I’m definitely not), no and no. Also I don’t know what your school requires, but at least the plane ride one would require exclusion until kid had a negative test for us.
Sleep says
No to both. If you had child care and could leave your unvaxxed child behind I would maaybe consider #1, but still leaning no depending on how close a “close friend” is and how upset they would be if I skipped.
Anonymous says
No and No unless you can figure out a kid-free way for #1.
FWIW – on who can you leave the kid with – I would be fine with one of my son’s friends sleeping over for one night. High vax area and kids currently unmasked in schools so it doesn’t feel like a ton of extra risk. If it’s only a 90min flight presumably you can fly out at lunchtime one day and back at lunchtime the next. That’s a pretty standard sleepover timeframe.
Wedding attendee says
This may not be your family’s style or just not suit for whatever reason, but my husband and I are having each of us go to one of the two fall weddings to which our family (me, spouse, toddler) was invited. I just went to mine and, on reflection, am very happy I went (I almost backed out at the last minute for covid reasons). You can tailor safety specifics (when and where you mask, testing after, etc.) to your family’s risk tolerance, but the whole thing is just easier to manage with one traveler than multiple and had the benefit of letting both spouse and forego PTO.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 – We’re doing something similar. We have a wedding next weekend that we are both flying to (it’s DH’s childhood friend), and they have mandated vaxxes, and I plan to KN-95 during the event. One of DH’s college roommates is getting married in October, and only DH will go.
Local grandparent will take care of the kids while we travel.
Baby Boy Name Help says
Help with a baby boy’s name please. Looking for something classic that starts with an A or F. Bonus points for a name that is traditionally Catholic. Even better if you have a good middle name to go along with it!
Anon says
I love Arthur. DD has an Alec (short for Alexander) in her class, which I also really like.
rakma says
Francis Xavier, Anthony, Andrew, Alexander? (I’ve basically just named half my 1980’s catholic elementary school classmates)
anonamommy says
A: Ambrose, Andrew, Anthony
F: Felix, Francis (Xavier for middle ?)
Anon says
Oh I love Felix.
Anonymous says
Francis. Frederick. Fabian.
anon says
Aidan is an Irish saint name
Curious says
Francis Joseph?
Aaron, Adam, Aidan (saint), Anselm (saint), Anthony (saint), Ambrose (saint), Adrian (saint), Augustine (saint, can shorten to Austin)
Anthony Ignatius, Adrian Matthew, Aidan Luke, Aidan Peter?
Fergus, Fabian
GCA says
Anthony, (how traditional do you want? Aloysius…too soon?), Fabius/ Fabian, Francis.
Anonymous says
August
IHeartBacon says
Adam
Anon says
What we’ve done for middle names with our boys is to pick a Saint whom we particularly like and he becomes a patron for that child (we celebrate his feast day with dessert, get kiddo a picture for their room and a Tiny Saints keychain for their backpack, etc.) You may have this covered with your first name, but if not, it’s become a very sweet tradition for our family. Most of the middle names we’ve used or considered have been named above…others include Jude, Joseph (it’s the year of St Joseph!), Thomas, John. We’ve also used Francis and it’s totally grown on me. I think the name (as well as Frances) is having a revival
anon says
A gift question: I have 10 nieces and nephews, all local. We still exchange gifts for birthdays, and I’ll confess that this seems to be getting harder as time goes on because of the sheer number! I’ve tried to “template” gift-giving — like one year, everyone gets something featuring their favorite cartoon character, everybody gets books, everybody gets fun pajamas, etc. Problem is, I am running out of ideas. Or it’s getting harder to accommodate the older ones, whose tastes are becoming very specific. I try to stay in the $25-30 range. This is a bigger pain point than I’d like it to be, mainly because 7 of the 10 have birthdays from September through December! So I need to get on top of it. Or maybe I need to drop the template altogether? Not sure if that would make it easier, or not.
Anonymous says
Target or Barnes and Noble gift cards are usually a hit.
Anonymous says
I do exclusively books.
Anonymous says
Maybe not the answer you’re looking for, but for how many more years do you think your family is going to keep this up? If you’ll stop at some point . . . is this the point when maybe you all begin to phase this out? Surely you’re not the only aunt/uncle who is finding this increasingly difficult.
shortperson says
templates dont work as they get older and become more unique in their tastes unless you do gift cards. nothing wrong with ice cream gift cards, which is what i’m transitioning to the for the tweens in my life. the tweens i know often like athleisure with obvious brands which can be done for $30-$40.
anon says
Any suggestions for what to send a three year-old who’s having ear tubes and a tonsillectomy? TIA!
Anonymous says
Balloons.
Anonymous says
YES. 3 year olds LOVE a helium balloon.
shortperson says
a kit from young, wild and friedman
Anonymous says
A season of Paw Patrol or Wild Kratts (purchasable through amazn prime).
anon says
Dropped of smoothies last week to a 4yo with tonsillectomy. If it’s your LO, heads up – over a week of pain for our friend’s little. :(
Anon says
aww my 3.5 yr old had it done monday. we are still recovering. he’s not enjoying anything one would traditionally enjoy…. the gift will mainly be for the parents. poor little ones.
anon for this says
8 year old loves journalism and reporting. Like, knows the names of the white house press corps and asks to watch Face the Nation on Sundays. Child loves creating their family newsletter and texting it to close family members.
What to buy for their birthday?
Curious says
Newspaper subscription? Age appropriate news magazine subscription?
EDAnon says
I loved journalism as a kid and made newsletters. You didn’t give an age, but I always wanted to reporters notebook, one of those hats with a press card, subscriptions to newspapers, some basic photography skills (maybe an online class?). I also loved old political buttons (like from the Kennedy election) and books by journalists. Hunter S. Thompson is likely inappropriate for a child but Carl Hussein was a journalist and wrote good YA fiction (like Hoot). Many of his books feature characters that are journalists.
Anon says
A copy of The Landry News by Andrew Clements. And maybe Adam Canfield of the Slash by Michael Winerip (It’s a little older and the whole trilogy is sort of about the collapse of journalism, so it’s kind of depressing for an adult). Pair with a copy of Newsies and some reporters notebooks.
Anon says
What we’ve done for middle names with our boys is to pick a Saint whom we particularly like and he becomes a patron for that child (we celebrate his feast day with dessert, get kiddo a picture for their room and a Tiny Saints keychain for their backpack, etc.) You may have this covered with your first name, but if not, it’s become a very sweet tradition for our family. Most of the middle names we’ve used or considered have been named above…others include Jude, Joseph (it’s the year of St Joseph!), Thomas, John. We’ve also used Francis and it’s totally grown on me. I think the name (as well as Frances) is having a revival
Anon says
Whoops nesting fail!