Accessory Tuesday: Ideal Pump

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Ideal PumpIf you’re the type of person who finds flats very uncomfortable, you may want to try a low, sturdy heel like this one. It’s not going to replace your stiletto 3-inch heels, of course, but you may find it more comfortable than a flat. I like the sturdy, comfortable look of this one — but it still seems polished (almost like Ferragamo, honestly). It’s $109 at Nordstrom and comes in a wide size range of 4–13 (as well as four widths) in patent leather: navy, black, and taupe. Ideal Pump This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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Just wanted to leave a follow up comment to the person yesterday who was talking about solo parenting. I’ve solo parented varying amounts for most of my kid’s life, and I just wanted to say that I went through something around the time my kid was 8 months old. That was when it really sank in for me that my life was Permanently Different and there was nothing I could do about it.

I had always thought that people whose lives changed after they had kids were just not [fun, adventurous, ambitious, whatever] enough. I thought that nothing would change. I would work at my same job without an issue. I would keep up my social life without an issue. I didn’t realize that having a kid was exhausting. I didn’t realize all the planning that goes into it. I didn’t realize that she would pick a bedtime and that it was going to be 6 p.m. sharp for a very long time. Add a huge amount of solo parenting on top of that, and all my assumptions about how easy it was going to be to make everything work went down the drain once the novelty and adrenaline of the newborn phase wore off.

Not that it’s all doom and gloom. As kid has gotten older a lot has gotten easier. (Definitely some things have gotten hard too, though). She goes to bed later so we can do more stuff out of the house in the evening. We’ve figured out routines and meals and all that. And sometimes we just chill and eat dinner in front of the tv together (#momoftheyear)… Just wanted to throw this all out in case you’re dealing with this disappointment too. It’s normal. Especially when you’re the one doing almost everything for your kid.

Reading the headline in Feedly, I really thought this was going to be about the Ideal [Breast] Pump. :)

Talk to me about finding a nanny. I’m in the market for the first time (having used daycare in the past), and I’m oddly stressed about it, given that I have plenty of time and a handful of prospects. How did you find your best nanny? Any suggestions on what I should be looking for that may not be obvious, or how best to vet a potential nanny? I’m seeing a big range of cost in my area — do you think the more expensive nannys are usually worth the extra money, or did they just get lucky and fall in with a rich family before? Thanks for any advice!

Also: would you ever let your nanny bring her own kid? Why or why not? I’ve seen a few who sound promising, and are interested in bringing their own kid (only one in each case) with them, in addition to having my kids.

I left a long comment to your original post. We are here for you.

My comment from yesterday finally came through, so here’s the updated version. Thank you all for your comments yesterday– they honestly carried me last night and made me feel so much less alone.

Moms, could use a little support. My life has crumbled around my ears in the last few weeks. Last week I ended up taking a week of unplanned vacation because we discovered that my brother-in-law ***** my 2.5 year old during a family vacation (she told us, plain as day– and there are lots of other red flags) and because I had to check my husband into a mental hospital for undiagnosed PTSD. I did the rounds of CPS reporting and law enforcement and pediatrician and getting started with therapy intake for kiddo on my own after getting husband settled.

Today is my second day back at work. I’m our family’s sole breadwinner and my job is pretty high-stress/fast-paced. So far my team and my clients have been amazingly supportive– but I feel like I survived a nuclear attack and am wandering around giving off radiation.

I’m not sure what I’m asking for, except that I know others of you have survived similar “life burning down all at once” events. I welcome advice about maintaining in the workplace most of all– my manager knows what’s going on, and I have told most of my colleagues about the kid stuff. That said, I have had several other major personal issues (health stuff) this year, and I’m starting to feel like Calamity Jane to my childless, unmarried boss in her late forties. It’s hard not to look over my shoulder a lot.

My husband came home last night and is starting an outpatient program for a while– can anyone relate? Any advice for supporting a spouse when they come home from a mental facility? This one is new to me. I’m feeling all the feelings– concern, gratitude he’s finally getting the help he needs, fear things will go back to the way they were, wanting to be supportive, anger at a lot of the behavior that got us to this point, and at being left to manage this whole kid situation as a solo parent, and, oddly enough, concern that I may not want to stay with my spouse. This round of events may have been the thing that broke me– having to dig deeper into my well of personal reserves, buck up, and handle ALL THE SHIT alone. I am telling myself those are normal feelings and I shouldn’t worry too much about them. I just want someone to take care of me for a change. Last night was weird– like a first date with someone I was meeting for the first time.

I solo parent 4 nights a week. We have a newborn and a toddler. I am all nerves about being alone with both and managing bedtimes, toddler meltdowns, etc. Thank you for all the wisdom and commiseration shared between yesterday and today. It’s just nice to know other people are making it work, too.

Hi all — update from the pediatric cardiologist. It was fine. I mean, kiddo hated every second of it and made sure we knew but, importantly, the doctor was not the least bit worried about her heart. And then we had ice cream for lunch. <3

Thanks for the comforting words yesterday.

I’ve been thinking about a thread on the main s!te from the other day. People were talking about whether they felt like they made enough money. I used to feel like we were ok, but a move, a second kid, and a pay cut for me have me feeling like we are cutting it really close.

What I really want to know is whether or not we will feel positively rich once we are no longer paying $3k/month in childcare or will that money be eaten up by other expenses (camps, aftercare, activities, etc.)? Do I just make it work another couple of lean years?

I think I need a pregnancy pillow. Didn’t with my first but I am waking up miserable and willing to try anything. My specific pain areas are my legs and lower back. Any recommendations?

Thought puzzle, brought to you by a 3.5 year old: kiddo has declared that all of her jeans-pants (pants with a fly and waistband) are “too itchy,” and her leggings are “too cold.” She wears almost exclusively dresses, and the skirts tend to bunch up over the bulkier sweat pants waistband….but what other leg-coverings are available if we exclude jeans, leggings and sweatpants?

-signed, a mom would would give anything to wear dresses with leggings every day

Has anyone gotten the flu while pregnant? I think I’m coming down with it, even though I already got my flu shot. I’ve heard enough BIG WARNINGS that it’s bad for pregnant women to be exposed to the flu, but I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do if I get it. Is it just the fever that’s the concern? When do I call the doc? (So far no fever, but lots of aches and absolutely NO energy. And I’m solidly in my golden days of the second trimester, where typically I feel like I am a superhero–not like death.)

Also, do I just push fluids and rest? And yes – I know that the answer to all of this is probably to call my doc if I’m genuinely concerned, but I also thought I’d post here. :)

I’m in a kid dinner rut. What are your ideas for extremely quick dinners for a very picky three year old? She almost never eats new things I try to give her, so I fall out of the habit of even trying. I’ll post some of our current rotation, in case anyone else needs ideas. * items are things I’ve tried that she hasn’t liked, but maybe your kid would like them.

Entrees/sides:
Pasta (cooked on the weekend) with frozen meatballs and jarred sauce
Mac and cheese (cooked on the weekend)
PB&J
Baked beans from a can
Frozen mini pizzas
Yogurt
Tortilla chips with guacamole
cheese and crackers
*quesadilla
*grilled cheese
*tomato soup
*leftover rice
*hummus
*frozen chicken nuggets
*leftover potatoes
*lunch meat

Vegetables:
frozen corn
frozen peas
cucumber slices
avocado
*frozen edamame
*frozen vegetable medley
*baby carrots
*grape tomatoes
*frozen vegetable patties or nuggets
*butternut squash puree
*jicama sticks

Fruits:
berries (no cutting or peeling!)
bananas
apple or pear slices
clementines
grapes
applesauce
seasonal fruits (peaches, cherries, watermelon, etc)

Pregnancy vent. Our Blue Apron this week includes barramundi and I belatedly decided to look up whether it’s high in mercury. Apparently this is impossible to find from a reliable source. One Australian kid s*te says to avoid it and everything else is either conflicting or inconclusive. F7ck – why does this have to be so hard?

I did earlier this year! I can down with a fairly mild flu at 34 weeks pregnant despite being vaccinated. I called my OB as soon as I was diagnosed and she was not concerned as long as I was able to breathe and to stay hydrated. I think that was because I was at the end of my pregnancy anyways- I think it’s more worrisome if you are earlier.

If you really feel off, it’s worth the time to go to PCP or urgent care just to get tested. And then either you know you are in the clear or you know you have the flu, in which case I would call your OB for info specific to your pregnancy.