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Now that we’re in the middle of fall, I’m stocking up on some of my favorite moisturizers.
Neutrogena’s Hydro Boost is one I buy over and over again. Clearly, I’m not the only one — it has tens of thousands of five-star reviews. Its hyaluronic acid draws in moisture and locks it in, immediately quenching your skin.
This gel moisturizer absorbs quickly, yet moisturizes like your favorite cream. It’s also perfect for wearing under makeup.
Neutrogena’s Hydro Boost is $17.54 at Amazon and $17.59 at Target.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Fall jacket says
Specific light coat recommendations for a toddler for 40-50 degree weather? A sweatshirt is too light, and our puffy coats are too heavy. Thank you!
Clementine says
You need a fleece! I’m a big fan of the simple Columbia Benton Springs fleece (often around $20 in at least one color) but for an upgrade, I adore LLBean. I got one of the extra soft ones with ears and it’s great.
anon says
The Benton Springs fleece has been my forever go-to. My kids are in elementary school and still get these fleeces. They’re great. Nice and thick, but priced reasonably.
Alternatively, the thermoplume jackets from Lands End are great, too.
AnonATL says
We had the Columbia fleece last year and it was great at that temp. This year, I bought the Columbia Toddler Steens hooded jacket.
DLC says
I do a fleece- either a jacket or quarter zip, layered with a puffy vest if the fleece doesn’t seem like enough.
Do not get a fuzzy fleece, particularly if your child is prone to shedding layers randomly on the playground. They look cozy and all, but those things attract mulch in such an irrevocable way, rendering the fleece unwearable.
anon says
Good advice on the fuzzy ones. I learned that the hard way. Also, I own one of my own, and I don’t love it for temperature control. Either I’m too hot, or it lets ALL the breeze through in a way that a traditional fleece doesn’t, rendering it useless. There are like 5 days a year where it’s the perfect layer. And it’s a Patagonia, so not inexpensive. It’s just not a great fit for my very windy climate; I get a lot more use out of my Columbia and Eddie Bauer fleeces.
Anonymous says
Are you in MA by any chance? Fall arrived this AM!
Fleece, sweatshirt + puffer, or some kind of coat- we have an adorable Sherpa lined cable knit jacket that all my kids wore in the fall in PK.
anon says
I picked up a reversible fleece/puffer jacket at LLBean in Burlington yesterday for my 3.5 year old and thaaaaank god I did! So glad it’s fall and hopefully it’s here to stay!
anon says
My other comment is in mod but OP, this is what I bought my daughter yesterday: LL Bean Reversible Mountain Bound Hooded Jacket
Cb says
I like the Primary light puffer for that weather?
Anonymous says
I bought a fleece from H&M a few years ago and it was a big hit with my then 2 year old. I think it was $5. We don’t get a lot of wind here though it just gets damp and chilly.
NYC Girl says
Patagonia fleece or LL bean fleece. Or the lightweight Primary or Patagonia puffers.
Part-Time Nanny? says
Does anyone use a very part-time nanny/sitter to pick children up from daycare and hang out with them for an hour or so while you/your partner are wrapping up your day/commuting home? I’m thinking of looking for something like this (a few days per week or every day) but feel nervous about someone else driving my LO around. I’m curious to hear about your experience if you have tried something like this.
Given our commute times and work locations and that our daycare still isn’t back to regular operating hours (and I’m on the wait list for every place within a reasonable distance that has longer hours), I feel like this is something we may need.
Anonymous says
We looked in to an after-school driving nanny at one point. It was difficult to find someone willing to work for less than 3 hours per day.
Clementine says
I have tried to find this and it was really hard to find someone at the time. I thought maybe it would be appealing for a college student? I was actually looking for pick up and 2 hours of aftercare 5 days a week (my kid was struggling with aftercare. There are literally 4 or 5 colleges within a 15 minute drive.
I do think you’ll need to offer more hours. I know my friend had to offer 3-6PM (even though she really only needed 3-5).
What I personally found was that I could either get somebody to do this 2-3 days per week or they wanted full time. What I ended up doing was paying the nanny across the street to pick up kiddo and watch my kid with her full time charge 2 days per week (the kids were/are friends), but I was never able to figure out full time.
Part-Time Nanny? says
Thanks! I thought this could be good for a college student too. I’ll keep the extended hours in mind. 4:30-7:30 a couple of times per week (ideally with some light housekeeping, like sweeping up the mess LO makes when eating a snack and dinner, thrown in) could work too.
Anonymous says
Following with interest. With traffic coming back and aftercare only until 4:30 at our school, this is something we’re considering too (otherwise my husband needs to leave *really* early from work to be sure to be back in time, or I get a call at 4 saying “I’m stuck in traffic” and I have to drop everything and run out the door).
I feel like college students are the best move for this — I had a couple friends in college who had nanny gigs that involved pick-up, giving the kids a snack, and generally getting them situated at home. Some of them did a little bit of dinner prep, too. 1-2 hours max. In my perfect world, this person would make sure my kids unpacked their lunchboxes, put their backpacks and shoes away neatly, and did 10-15 min of homework before shooing them back outdoors to pay.
Anonymous says
*play
Anon says
We did this! We used an aide from a local school (a referral from one of the daycare teachers) who was able to pick up the kids and bring them home. We guaranteed pay for 12.5 hours/week to help “lock her in” from 4-6:30, even though we were home by 6 most days. Since she had gone through a background check for the school, and was a personal referral from a teacher we trusted, I felt good using her.
We bought her car seats for her car, helped her install them, and told her if she ever got into an accident (in her off time) to tell us and we’d replace them right away, no problem.
The arrangement lasted about 4 years, until she moved to a school farther away. That was right before the pandemic so we weren’t able to find a replacement right away, and now that we work from home and aftercare lasts until 6, we can make it work. Plus our house was small – I don’t think it would have worked to have her and the kids in the house while we were trying to work. Once we go back into the office, we’ll have to figure out a new arrangement but I figure we’ll cross that bridge when it happens.
busybee says
I did this in college. I picked up the two girls from school and stayed till 5. I drove them to after school activities as scheduled and drove them through the car wash each Friday which was always a big thrill for them :) It was two hours daily and I made $100 a week. This was 2009-2011.
CHL says
We did this 3 days a week – it was a local nanny who worked for a family that let her out at like 3 pm. She would come over, do kids laundry, cook them dinner and tidy up, then pick them up from daycare at 4:30 or 5, feed them and so they would be fed, clean and generally happy when we got home. We didn’t have a ton of applicants, but we only needed one good one.
Part-Time Nanny? says
I love the idea of having someone coming over BEFORE daycare pick up to do a little bit of organizing. Thanks for sharing.
Pogo says
This is what we do – PT nanny comes over at 4:30 and preps kiddo’s dinner. She picks them up by 5, comes back, gives them dinner, cleans them up, and hands them off to one of us around 6 usually. It is really, really helpful to be able to work til 6 with my Central time zone team.
We bought and installed car seats in her car. Found her on sittercity. She was background checked and also I spoke to her most recent reference, for whom she did driving.
She is a counselor at a high school so her day ends at 2:30ish.
AwayEmily says
We have this now, sort of — a grad student who picks up my kindergartener at 3pm and then hangs out with her until 5 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. I was also a little worried about the driving, but we found someone who has nannied before and is older (30), plus the school is super close to our house. She drives our car (I walk to work and my husband takes the other car).
It was not easy to find someone. I struck out on care.com and on the FB babysitting groups, because most of those people wanted more hours (understandably). I ended up finding her via NextDoor. It was clear she was GREAT so I offered a fair bit of money ($25/hour) and worked with her school schedule even though it wasn’t the exact days we originally wanted.
It’s been fantastic. Agreed with others that you may either need more hours or more money to make it worthwhile to them. We interviewed a couple of people and I think that for college/grad students committing for every day can be tough because many of them have classes at least one or two days a week during those afternoon hours.
Pogo says
We also pay $25/hr and our person is in her late 20s. just finished grad school.
Anon says
I don’t think I’d have concerns about the driving if you choose the right person but it is super hard to find in my large metro area. It’s definitely the most in demand period for nannying or babysitting because that’s what everyone with elementary age kids needs. Right around beginning of school there are dozens of posts in local Facebook groups and next door looking for those hours “perfect for a local college student or responsible high schooler!” I’d offer high pay and guaranteed hours if you want to distinguish yourself but also just hope you get lucky through word of mouth. Not to be discouraging but Id just monitor your expectations!
Allie says
This seems to work best as a bit of a nanny share — a family with a full time nanny wants to save some money and have some socializing but having the nanny care for extra kids after school and the nanny wants the extra money to do so. My friend’s infant and toddler nanny picked up two kids after school and the kids liked playing with the little ones and the little ones liked playing with the big kids.
anon says
The one thing I would add is that if you’re going to hire a college student, be prepared to be very flexible – for example, our local state school has a 6 week holiday for winter break, so the month of January was totally uncovered.
anon says
October through early November is one of my busiest work seasons, every single year. Sitting here at my desk, bitter that I’m not spending fall break with my kids. Could I technically take the day off? Sure, but I can’t really afford to lose a day of work at this point. Instead, I tried to fit in all the fall break activities over the weekend, on top of the normal weekend chores, and I am beyond exhausted today. Sometimes working parenthood really effing sucks.
Anonymous says
What is fall break?!? I’ve never heard of such a thing! We go straight through from Yom Kippur to Thanksgiving
anon says
The public schools here have a fall break that runs Friday through Tuesday, always in the middle of October.
Anonymous says
Wow! Well from my perspective there are no fall break activities to miss, there are just fun things to do on the weekends if you want. We do one day of hike/pumpkins/apples and one day of Halloween and that’s it for obligatory fun.
Anon says
Fall break is a pretty standard thing in Midwest public schools. For us it’s on what used to be called Columbus Day weekend but is no longer called that. We don’t get any days off for Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur, which is pretty annoying for our family (we’re Jewish) so other than fall break there are no holidays between Labor Day and Thanksgiving. My husband and I are lucky that we work for the local university that has fall break on the same weekend so we can usually take a trip or at least spend time together at home as a family, but I definitely get why it s*cks for other working parents.
Anon says
That sucks. I hate when I have to work late and miss out on opportunities to spend time outside with my family during (in my opinion) the nicest season of the year.
Anonymous says
Working mom poll:
Our school district has half day Thursdays basically every other week. There is no after school on those half days, so working parents just have to…figure it out. It stinks, there is complaining every year, but that’s how it goes.
Due to crazy weekend schedules with sports and family stuff, those half day Thursdays have become a pretty common day to have a birthday party. My oldest is in 3rd grade and COVID notwithstanding it’s been like this since she was in K. One parent will “take the bullet” so to speak and host a party, everyone else gets to drop off their kids and have their Thursday afternoon back.
Anyway, I just sent an invite out for my kid’s b’day which is on a half day in November. Of the 15 kids we invited, at least half have dual-full-time-working families; almost all have two working parents (but some are part time). I just got a decline from one parent (mom) with a note saying “We cannot attend. I work full time.”
I’m not sure how (if) to respond. Lady, I know people work. I work full time too. I took the afternoon off to host. If I do a b’day party on a Saturday, 75% of the kids can’t come due to activities or family stuff. Other parents tend to have nannies/sitters during this time, send the kids outside to play with neighbors, or rotate houses for playdates. Of the kids coming, 5 kids are coming with one parent driving. We are bringing 4 kids home.
I say nothing, right? I’m wondering if it’s the first time that her kid has been invited to a mid-week party like this, though that would be really surprising since she’d have had to make it through K and 3/4 through 1st without that happening.
anon says
I mean, this kind of sucks. I don’t begrudge you for taking time off work to host, but surely you’ve been on the other side of this before?
Anonymous says
Right? Like. Y’all’s town is trash, I’m sorry your school is bad, but this is weird and you know it. Everywhere else manages weekend parties and I assure you we are all busy. Just be glad you can make it work for you.
Anon says
+1 I get why you’re doing this, but I also don’t think you can begrudge working moms who can’t attend and are slightly peeved about the fact the birthday party is in the middle of a workday.
Anonymous says
Why would you respond? I find it bizarre to have parties on a Thursday , because I work full time, as well. I wouldn’t be rude enough to say that but I think you can and should just ignore it.
Anonymous says
No one time will work for everyone. You don’t owe them an explanation; it sounds like you genuinely thought this might be more convenient for a majority of people for various reasons. The correct response is “I’m so sorry you can’t make it, we will miss you.” You could also offer a weekend play date another time if you want.
Anonymous says
Have they recently moved into the district? It sounds like she may be frustrated that on top of trying to juggle normal childcare during the middle of the week (which is truly bizarre), her kid might also miss out on fun social activities with their class because of logistics. That would make me cranky, too, and this note was probably just a moment of frustration that slipped out. She may also not realize that most families will drop their kids off and not stay for the party. I probably would not say anything unless you are otherwise friendly with this woman and could just talk with her about it the next time you see her. If this arrangement is common, she will figure this out in time.
GCA says
+1 — maybe add ‘If Susie wants to come to the party, maybe we can find a way to carpool’ or something like that?
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yep, it sounds like the parent doesn’t know the norms of your town (which do sound odd, honestly – is there really no aftercare option?). Or, if she and partner works outside of the home, literally, then their kid is probably somewhere else so can’t make a Thursday afternoon party.
Anonymous says
Yeah, where we live after-school programs cover early release days.
GCA says
“No worries, thank you for letting us know! We will miss you.” I’m afraid others here are right, your town is weirdly unsupportive of working parents with its lack of coordinated options, and the school system’s attitude that full-time 9-5 working parents ‘just figure it out’ is unhelpful. Invitee was a little rude, but in her shoes I would certainly feel a twinge of resentment that other working parents would simply reinforce it. OTOH, I’d also recognize that not every schedule would work for every family, and it’s the prerogative of the party host to hold it whenever they like.
Anonymous says
Yeah, you say nothing. If they’re new in town, though, it might be nice to make some kind of overture like, Sorry [name] will miss the party. I work full time too, feel free to drop off as an alternative to your normal childcare arrangement for this Thursday afternoon. These half days are so frustrating, amirite?!
Anonymous says
OP here- this is a great suggestion. My kids have been dropoff only for years now so I would be shocked to have to stay! For a 9th bday I didn’t specify that it was dropoff but maybe the COVID gap played in here and she’s assuming someone had to stay.
Anonymous says
Your attitude is pretty obnoxious. You expect this mom to have a nanny to drive her kid to weekday birthday parties? Maybe the kid comes home on the bus and the mom works from home.
Little kid birthday parties are the absolute worst. So much pressure and drama among the parents. Just have the party when it’s convenient for you. People who aren’t available won’t come. That’s just how it is.
Anonymous says
OP here. The kids are 8/9, not 4. It’s all dropoff, and all in town.
This is sort of the de-facto party slot and has been since elem school. It generally works for working parents because they don’t have other good solutions on these stupid half days…or they already have a sitter in place.
Anonymous says
Yeah, maybe she doesn’t have (can’t afford? can’t find?) a sitter and has to work so she doesn’t have time to drive her kid across town and drop her off?
Pogo says
I think the age part clarifies this for me – the mom might not have a specific childcare arrangement in place at this age, maybe kid takes the bus home while mom or dad wfh on Thursday afternoons, so she wouldn’t be able to drive her over to the party? It’s kind of weird, since this is a ‘thing’ in your town, but I don’t really know what you can say about it, she made her position clear.
NYCer says
OP – Is there a way you can work this child into the carpool? If so, I would respond and offer that up.
Otherwise, I would just reply to her mom and say something like “Thanks for letting me know. Child will be missed!”
[FWIW, I don’t find this Thursday afternoon timeslot as offensive as everyone else seems to.]
Anonymous says
I don’t find the Thursday afternoon time slot much more offensive than a weekend given the school situation. I do find the vitriol towards the mom who has to work and can’t bring her child to the party offensive.
Anonymous says
What vitriol? I see none
Spirograph says
I find the fact that the school district does this offensive, but it sounds like these Thursday afternoon parties are just making the best of a bad situation. I don’t see any vitriol toward the mom who has to work, just frustration that the decline note is a little rude/tone deaf. If I got a decline like that, I’d also be miffed that the sender seemed to have assumed I’m either inconsiderate or thoughtless when I saw myself as taking one for the team.
(My Saturdays are nuts, I’d be happy for a party on a weekday half-day!)
Anonymous says
I would probably have responded the same way she did. Do you want to be friends with with her or want your kids to be friends? If so, I’d respond “I totally get it! This school district is silly. Maybe do a play date some weekend?” If not, yeah just don’t say anything. Sorry but you’re making a weird situation worse by having your kid’s birthday on a weekday afternoon, regardless if “everyone else does it.”
Anonymous says
This is why I posted. Our kids *are* friends, and we’ve all had this dumb half day thing to deal with for 4 years [except for COVID, when they so thoughtfully turned EVERY Thursday half day not just every few!]. By now people have a Thursday solution in place. Of course all party slots can’t please everyone, but I was surprised to get that reaction given that most people say the opposite- thanks so much for having it at this super annoying time gap and Kiddo will be so happy to have something to do other than lay on the couch bored/be at grandma’s while I work.
Anonymous says
Ok well she’s definitely being the weird one since your kids are friends. She’s probably annoyed that she’s working and taking it out on you. Ignore.
EDAnon says
She might have also sent it off without thinking because she’s busy. I would try to do a no pressure double-check on the logistics, especially if you can solve the transportation issue.
DLC says
Perhaps grant her a lot of grace? Maybe she just had a poor performance review because she is still in pandemic hell and is feeling stressed and guilty about the whole working mom thing?
I’m sure her response stings when you’ve spent a lot of effort planning things, but if your kids are friends, I wouldn’t take it personally and instead perhaps use one of the many kind scripts above to show her a little empathy and accommodation.
Anon says
That stinks. I’d probably be in her situation though – my kid will go to the Y and there’d be nobody to drive them around to things even if it was supervised. We don’t have grandparents who can babysit or work at home office jobs.
Anon says
And I guess I’d probably be upset if my kid was consistently the one not to make the carpool. I get that cars only fit so many kids but the being left out might sting if that’s the situation.
Anonymous says
I just want to say, I don’t understand why everyone is jumping on this person who just gave a concise excuse for not making the party. I wouldn’t make any assumptions nor take any offense!
Anonymous says
+1. If weekend birthday parties were the norm, would OP be this mad at a mom who said no because of a soccer game or family plans?
Anonymous says
I don’t know. That note struck me as including an implied “unlike some people” that rubs me the wrong way. She could have just said, “Thanks for inviting Child, but we can’t make it that day.”
Anonymous says
Posting here on suggestion from the main board. I have serious fertility issues that mean my options are donor eggs, adoption, fostering or remaining child free. For those who were in a similar situation, how did you make the decision? Any advice? Everyone I know has children genetically related to them so I don’t have a good model for any of the other options.
Anonymous says
I spoke to a therapist. My clinic had a couple they refer people to regularly. It really helped to talk it through with someone professional
Anonymous says
Yes, definitely talk to a therapist. Fostering and/or adopting kids is not a substitute for having biological kids, and it’s not easy. If you decide to pursue adoption, be sure you have grieved the loss of your biological children that will never be. And become trauma informed.
Anonymous says
I just wanted to add that I’m really sorry you’re experiencing infertility. It can be hard, lonely and unfair. I hope you find the way to grow your family that feels right for you.
Clementine says
I wrote a guest post on fostering a while ago on here.
I think fostering is a wonderful thing and we need more foster parents – but also, it’s more than just a way to grow your family. The first goal of fostering is reunification, so most of the kids aren’t adopted/adoptable. Additionally, I would really suggest that you look into foster care as an opportunity to support kids and families through parenting – not simply as a way to grow your family.
Sometimes fostering does end in adoption, but it often ends in heartbreak as well. I say this not to discourage you from fostering, but to highlight it as something more than just a way to grow your family.
Clementine says
Wow, I didn’t edit that well, did I. Sorry for saying the same thing 3 times… (Facepalm)
Anon Lawyer says
I had a reply that got eaten so I guess it might show up again later.
I have not been in this situation but am a single mom by choice who had a baby via sperm donation so I have used donor gametes. I know a lot of women who used donor eggs as well – often in conjunction with sperm donors. In general, I think for the mother, the genetic relationship issue stops becoming an issue the second your child is born for most people, if not before. There’s zero doubt that that child is YOURS.
But there are a lot of things to think about for the kid – the research shows that its best for kids to know about their genetic origins from the beginning and to be told so early that they never remember being told; it is just part of their story. (My understanding is that adoptive parents are told this now too.) There are a lot of books for kids that you can find that explain donor gametes in age appropriate language and which have different editions for different family configurations. There are also a lot of questions you’ll have to decide regarding things like whether to connect with half-siblings from the beginning. I have a private Facebook group with some of my daughter’s half-siblings and while we haven’t communicated a ton, I’m glad that line of communication is open. But other families feel differently.
C anon says
Talk to me about tasks and errands I can outsource to a woman who babysits occasionally for us and is super trustworthy. I’m taking on a new leadership role at work, expecting our second baby early next year and want to avoid all errands on weekends. I also have a chronic health issue that makes me tired and it’s not possible energy-wise to run errands during the week. I have good childcare, good grocery delivery and a cleaning person, so really looking for all the other recurring and ad hoc errands that are escaping my pregnancy brain today.
Cb says
Ooh dropping things at tailor, dry cleaning, for repair. Dropping off negotiations or listing things on freecycle. Doing an inventory of hand-me-downs or clothes in the cupboard. Being in for repair people or taking the car for a service.
Anon says
returns/shipping if you do any online shopping. over the course of a month keep track of what errands you do over a weekend. figure out which ones might be good to outsource. generally though i don’t run that many errands to begin with. most of my errands involve returning stuff which i’ve been able to cut down on by buying less stuff
TheElms says
Some errands/ recurring tasks I would love to outsource include:
– Laundry, washing, folding and putting away
– Figuring out what kid clothes still fit when the seasons change, sorting outgrown clothes and either keeping them for baby 2 or giving away/donating/trash depending on condition.
– Taking kid to get new shoes when feet have grown
– Cleaning/organizing the pantry
– Tidying / organizing the toys and suggesting what should be put away for baby 2/thrown out
– Taking the car to the car wash or scheduling a car detailer to come to the house
– Taking the car to be serviced or picking it up
– Washing the car seat covers if they are gross
– Researching summer camp/after school care/ activities etc for kid and putting the info in the spreadsheet so you can just review and decide. Booking the activities once decision is made.
– Booking kid doctor and dentist appointments
Anonymous says
All of these sorting, organizing, planning, and purchasing tasks are things I would want to do myself. Car care and laundry are the only ones I’d outsource.
octagon says
Donations to goodwill and the like. Grocery shopping for you at places that don’t have delivery (Trader Joes in your town?) Purchasing birthday presents or christmas presents. Dry cleaning. Photos printed/matted/framed.
Spirograph says
Donation/consignment dropoff is such a good idea. If your area does recycling for stuff that isn’t picked up curbside each week (clothing, batteries, electronics), that’s another I’d outsource.
Also, post office / Fedex / UPS runs.
jdmd says
Meal prep — cutting up vegetables, fruits, etc. If your older child needs breakfast/lunch for school/daycare, include that prep for your sitter.
Laundry — this could include all the house laundry or just kid stuff or kid stuff plus sheets/towels.
Managing kid clutter — our nanny often reorganizes our game closet, crafts drawers, holiday decorations, etc. I LOVE IT. There’s so much inventory management with kid paraphernalia, and she does it on her own initiative.
Researching kid-related activities — could she do some of the legwork to figure out summer camp options and after-school activities?
Emptying dishwasher, taking out trash, Costco runs.
Anon says
Hi! But for the second baby we are twins! I still do laundry myself, but I outsourced the folding to our cleaning service. Dry cleaning used to be an errand until I stopped buying dry clean only clothes. The other biggest errand for me is returns, usually to Target or the post-office because I buy everything online. Could she do some light meal prep (or pick up takeout for dinner because in our area, delivery takes over an hour and the food is not surprisingly always cold, but cooking at the end of the day is not possible until my meds settle)? In terms of projects I wish I had more time for, inventorying outgrown clothes and pulling together goodwill pickups are high on the list.
Anon says
What’s been a hit with your kids for after a game snacks? Bringing them tomorrow for my first grade daughter – Gatorade’s and rice Krispy treats were big but don’t want to do the same thing as everyone else!
Anonymous says
My kids don’t want me to bring unique or healthy snacks. They want me to bring the most popular snack, even if it’s the exact same thing everyone else brings.
anon says
This.
Anonymous says
I’m the grumpy mom who sticks to apples or clementines but pretzels are also a big hit. Gatorade and Rice Krispie treats are a staggering amount of sugar.
NYCer says
+1. Personally, I would bring apple slices and pretzels with mini water bottles. Honest Co juice box with no added sugar if water is too boring.
Anon says
I am so grumpy about snack culture. Why do we need snacks for every hourlong activity?!
Anonymous says
I was so happy when our girl scout troop dropped snack. It took up like half the meeting.
Anonymous says
I’m with you. My oldest plays hockey, and they do weekend tournaments that are essentially 3+ hours of HIIT. They legit need fuel afterward/halfway through… and yet there is no organized snack, everyone just brings bottle of gatorade and an energy bar. Then there’s my younger kid in Little League. Please show me a 6 year old who’s actually tired after a baseball game, or who even expended half the calories in a rice krispy treat (maybe if they did a lot of cartwheels in the outfield?). It’s just a bribe for them to hold it together ’til the end of the game.
Anon Lawyer says
I mean, little kids, like all humans, expend calories just by living. I get the annoyance at having to bring a snack and waste time standing around the field eating it, but let’s not try and calorie count for our 6-year-olds.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I’m laughing at this, because I come from a family and culture where there must ALWAYS be heavy snacks and/or a meal at any sort of gathering.
I went to my first birthday party of a pre-school classmate this past weekend and was apalled there was no actual meal (e.g. pizza) and just minimal snacks/cake only for kids, even though it was an afternoon birthday party. Had never seen it before!
Anonymous says
Appalled you weren’t fed a meal at a time you acknowledge isn’t meal time? Wow.
Spirograph says
You don’t get points for creativity, don’t overthink it! This is when you go to the snack aisle at the grocery store and buy one of the 24-pack boxes of individually packaged junk food. Post game snacks are almost always some combination of
– caprisun (or any other juice boxes. Honest Kids seems to be popular around here)
– mixed chips — doritos, lays, cheetos, etc
– goldfish
– cookies (oreo + keebler + chips ahoy)
– rice krispy treats, as you said
Anonymous says
do the same thing as everyone else.
anon says
Fruit snacks are popular. I usually did chips + clementine or pretzels/goldfish + fruit snacks (like Annie’s).
Anonymous says
Would love some anec-data from other moms. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant with my third. I’m struggling because I just feel huge this pregnancy. This baby happens to have the exact same due date as my first, so I can look back at those weekly bump photos (yes, I was that kind of pregnant lady six years ago…?) and see how I compare. I can’t believe how pregnant I look this early! I know they say you show faster with each pregnancy, but this fees ridiculous. I wasn’t ready to tell people until all of my genetic tests come back, but….I am very visibly pregnant.
Did you look much bigger with your third plus kids? How did you hide it???
Anonymous says
Yes nearly everyone does and you don’t really hide it, you just wear baggy clothes and polite people pretend not to notice.
Spirograph says
This
AwayEmily says
Yup, this. That being said, I also think people are sliiightly less suspicious because of the COVID weight gain thing. We went on a vacation with friends in August, when I was 15 weeks with my third, and I hadn’t seen them in awhile. We broke the news after the first day and the two of them were genuinely surprised. My one friend said “I just thought you’d put on some weight!” But by 20 weeks there was no longer any plausible deniability. I would say I’m about 6 weeks ahead of my previous pregnancies — I’m now 24 weeks and look like I did when I was 30 weeks with my first.
If you’re 15 weeks, your tests should be back any day, right?
Anonymous says
I looked enormous with my second who was a midsummer baby. I looked 7 months pregnant with my 3rd at like, 4 months. I would get looks of pity in March when I said I was due in June.
TheElms says
I’m only expecting my second but am enormous at 20 weeks. I’m curious for people that already have two, were you bigger at the end as well? Or do you just get to approximately max size faster? I can’t really imagine being bigger than I was with baby 1 (9lbs!), but I’m sure its technically possible.
Spirograph says
Just max size faster. I might have gained a little more (~5 lbs) in 2nd and 3rd pregnancies, but imho that was wholly attributable to having less time and energy overall to focus on healthy eating and exercising because of toddler(s). For pregnancies #2 and 3, I very quickly went into “I’m going to be gigantic anyway, might as well have cake!” mode. I’m tall enough that it takes more than 5 lbs of evenly distributed weight gain to be noticeable, so this was a totally separate issue than looking pregnant way earlier.
AwayEmily says
hmmmm good question. Tough to determine because I’ve also gained some weight between pregnancies (I started this pregnancy at about 10lb heavier than I started my first pregnancy), which means I was bigger at the end of my second than at the end of my first. But I think it’s mostly just the “getting to max size faster” thing.
TheElms says
I also was about 5lbs heavier at the start of this pregnancy than I was at the start of my first pregnancy, but I don’t think that is really affecting how I look now (even though I’m short).
Boston Legal Eagle says
I gained about 35 lbs with baby 1 (born at over 9lbs) and around 40 lbs with baby 2 (born at over 10lbs!) I think I looked equally huge at the end of both. I just kept reminding myself that bigger babies = hopefully better sleep!
anon says
I only had two, but was absolutely bigger with #2 in the end. My weight gain was similar, but I had to go up a size in maternity clothes to cover my bump. My shirts from my first pregnancy wouldn’t stretch to meet my pants starting around the beginning of third tri. Baby #2 was about 1 lb larger than #1.
anon says
Same. Your body just kind of relaxes into that shape.
anon says
With first, I didn’t even know I was pregnant until week 11, so when I look at my “bump” pictures from weeks 12-15 it was laughable and I totally could have hidden it longer! With second, I showed very early. I also sort of stayed looking the same size for a while, like appearance-wise it plateaued. I did not hide it, but I did wait longer to put on true maternity clothes because I remembered getting sick of them by then of pregnancy 1. I liked getting some normal clothes a size up for the first half of the pregnancy. If you were my in-person friend I’d say why hide? Be comfortable. Life is too short to worry about “hiding” anything like this. And I’d come up with some one-liners ahead of time to combat the inevitable tone-deaf “omg you already look ready to pop!” or whatever other dumb things people will say.
Pogo says
I looked pregnant MUCH faster with my second, but ended around the same size from a bump perspective. I gained less weight with my second, but started 5lbs heavier than my first, and the baby itself was half a pound heavier!
Butter says
Just same, same. 15 weeks with my third and feel like I look like I’m in the third tri. I also managed to get rid of all my maternity clothes after the second because I was convinced that was it, so have to start over again with trying to find comfy/decent quality mat pants, which seems nearly impossible. Argh.
Anonymous says
Nobody can really hide it by 15 weeks unless they are very apple-shaped when not pregnant. People politely pretend they don’t notice.
Anon says
+1 I only have one kid, but I was very obviously pregnant by 12 weeks. I told my boss at 15 weeks and he said “I was wondering when you were going to tell me!” My childfree SIL knew at 8 weeks due to what she called “a certain roundness” and I’ve also guessed a lot of pregnancies before the end of the first trimester (the facial puffiness often gives it away even when their body looks basically the same). I’m tall and was relatively slender pre-pregnancy and didn’t gain a lot of weight (<20 lbs), fwiw.
I personally think anyone who thinks they're hiding their pregnancy completely at 15+ weeks is kidding themselves. From some clueless men, maybe. But not from everyone.
AwayEmily says
I think there’s also variation in how good people are at guessing/figuring it out. I have never once suspected one of my friends was pregnant before they told me based on their physical appearance (and I’ve had friends who didn’t tell until >20 weeks). I just don’t notice people’s bodies very much, I think. I’m also just not very observant, tbh. Also I know enough people who gain weight in their stomachs that my default assumption would be that.
Anonymous says
Early on it shows in the face more than the belly, especially for people who are not super thin. The face appears wider and flatter. Sometimes people with hyperemesis who are dehydrated and/or lose a lot of weight will escape this phenomenon.
I always find the comments to the effect of “I don’t notice people’s bodies,” with the implication that merely to observe something about another person without saying anything is intrusive and offensive, a bit disingenuous.
Anon says
+1 Facial puffiness and larger breasts are the two earliest signs in most women and are usually visible in the first trimester.
I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with observing changes as long you’re polite enough not to say anything about it. I’m an incredibly observant person, I always have been and it’s not even something I’m trying to do. I’ve also noticed divorces because someone stopped wearing a wedding ring, affairs when two people told stories with overlapping details, etc. I just can’t help but notice these things. I think I would have made a really good private detective. Minus the whole dealing with violent criminals thing :)
Anonymous says
I know this has been answered in the past, but search is failing me. We’re in the middle of transitioning our 12-month old off of formula and bottles. We give milk in a sippy cup at meals and she drinks a bottle of whole milk at bedtime. She was previously sleeping through the night but now wakes up around 2am screaming – and won’t stop unless she gets another bottle of milk! How do I get this to stop??
Anonymous says
High-protein snack at bedtime. Some people give a spoonful of peanut butter.
AwayEmily says
Yup. Or full fat greek yogurt.
Anon says
You’d want to mix any peanut butter into something or thin it out – a spoonful of peanut butter is a choking hazard at that age.
EDAnon says
We finally got hit with a covid quarantine. Grateful that it is the first but, of course, less than an hour after my husband goes to get the kids, my boss blows up and demands way more detail than usual in a presentation that I didn’t have handy. So now I have no child care and MORE work.
And I had been having a superb morning. At least I had that first hour of joy!
Anon says
Ohh how miserable. You have my sympathies. We still haven’t had one, but cases are blowing up in my college town and I feel like it’s just a matter of time.
serious convo with mom says
My mom had a small stroke this weekend, she seems to be doing great, but in ICU for observation. She’s 67, a widow, and still working. However, she misses a lot of work due to health reasons and has worked maybe 1 day in the last 3 months. I know it’s time to have some serious conversations with her as the responsible/lawyer child. What questions should I be asking? I want to persuade her to retire, transfer her house to a TOD deed, ask about final plans/wishes. What am I missing? She’s an open book if I ask the right questions, but doesn’t volunteer anything.
anon says
Does she have a will? Medical power of attorney? I’d be very specific about final plans/wishes (funeral, body donation, burial/cremation site, favorite quote/religious text, etc.) Friend groups she would want you to notify if anything does go wrong. Where does she keep passwords, safe combinations, phone passwords (if you need to open a locked phone after death, it can be really hard, require legal filings, etc.)…. What’s on auto pay and what is paid in hard copy? Is she comfortable adding you to accounts? I’d try to get an idea of how much she has in assets overall and see her feelings on long-term care (would she hate a retirement home/assisted living of is she an extrovert who thinks that would be SO FUN?). Good luck. I hope she’s feeling better quickly.
anon says
I’ve been trying to get my parent’s to do a will and POA for about 10 years to no avail. They tell me that they’re “too busy” when they are retired and have literally nothing going on at all. They have no good reason, but just won’t do it. So frustrating. It’s all going to fall on me as the only attorney in the family and the only local kid, but they just don’t care.
Anonymous says
AARP has some really good free checklists and resources for talking about this kind of thing – look at their caregiving section. Best wishes for a speedy recovery to your mom! My husband had a stroke 4 years ago and thankfully made a more or less full recovery. It took a good 6 months for his energy level to be back to normal though.
Anon says
Sorry to hear that, hope she recovers well. Do you want her to retire because you feel like her job is negatively impacting her health? I ask because I’ve seen a lot of older folks go downhill quickly after retirement. Something about the physical and mental activity of working seems to keep people acting young and then they age very quickly once they no longer have that focus. So unless you feel like working is causing her a lot of stress and harming her health, I’m not sure I’d push her to retire.
EDAnon says
My mom really liked the five wishes thing and that opened up a lot of other conversations. You might start with that since it’s obviously needed and then ask other questions.
anonamommy says
Covid-cautious moms, how are you handling babysitters? Are you having them? I am desperate for a date night but the babysitter is the hangup. We have no family in the area. Our closest friends have small children in different schools. Obviously we would require a sitter be vaccinated. Our kid is good about wearing a mask, and we’d ask a sitter to wear a mask too. But that’s more or less impossible at bedtime, I don’t know that it’s reasonable or sane to ask my kid to go to bed In a mask.
anon says
Just pick someone who is vaccinated and double check that they don’t have any symptoms. No need to do more unless your area still has high rates or your child is immunocompromised.
Anon says
Well, most of the US still has very high rates so “unless your area still has high rates” includes most people. A good friend’s daughter just got Covid from a vaccinated, symptomless nanny and then the parents (1 Moderna, 1 Pfizer) got breakthrough infections from their kid. This was in a county with 80% of adults vaccinated, fwiw. I would want both a mask + vaccine for sure, although I admit I’m more cautious than most. Even if you’re not worried about your kid getting seriously ill, an infection in your kid (which is quite likely to result in a breakthrough infection for you) will result in you being quarantined with no childcare for up to a month, which really wrecks havoc on working parents’ lives.
Anonymous says
All of this exactly.
anon says
A good chunk of the country is now under 10 cases/100k and even more is under 20 cases/100k.
Everyone knows that there is always a risk of transmission, but a single, vaccinated, non-symptomatic adult is as low risk as you can get for child care. Most kids are back in school or daycare. Unless the kid still isn’t going out in public at all, this is a marginal additional risk.
Anon says
Only one US state (Hawaii) is under 10 daily cases per 100k. Two if you count Puerto Rico. And even 10-20 is a relatively high level. Many states, including highly vaccinated blue states, have more cases now than at any time other the winter 2020-2021 peak. I don’t disagree that the risk is objectively fairly low, but a mask makes it significantly lower risk and I’m not sure why you wouldn’t take that simple precaution. I’m not suggesting she forego date nights completely.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1. We have one sitter that we use, and I have confirmed she’s fully vaxxed. I also know she’s had COVID-19 (June 2020), so I suspect based on her antibody level, that’s enough for me right now to not require masking given that both my kids are in school/daycare.
I thought I was COVID-cautious, but realize compared to most on this board I’m a lot less risk averse…nothing wrong with where others are on the risk spectrum, but just a general statement.
Anonymous says
If the kid is in school or day care, it is smart to minimize the risk of exposure to COVID and other bugs outside of school or day care, if only to avoid quarantine.
And what’s the big deal with asking the sitter to wear a mask? It’s not a huge burden. My biggest concern with that would be that the sitter would remove it after I left.
Anon says
“a single, vaccinated, non-symptomatic adult is as low risk as you can get for child care”
This just isn’t true. Having that same adult wear a mask reduces the risk by a lot. Having the child also masked (when not sleeping) reduces it further. You can say you don’t think this further risk reduction is necessary, or that the costs outweigh the benefits (I don’t see the “cost” to making the sitter mask though), but it’s simply not true that just because the sitter is vaccinated and doesn’t have symptoms that it’s as low risk as it can get. Fwiw, “non-symptomatic” is actually pretty irrelevant. The vast majority of Covid transmission happens from individuals who haven’t yet developed symptoms.
Anonymous says
I think I’m in the minority on this, but all other things being equal I would actually choose a masked sitter over a vaccinated one (both is obviously the ideal). I know this is just anecdata, but I know lots of vaccinated people who got Covid from other vaccinated people, and zero people who got Covid from an encounter where both parties were masked despite quite a few people having exposures. I would have said the opposite in the spring when the vaccines seemed >90% effective, but now it’s clear the vaccines mainly reduce the severity of the illness and don’t provide anything close to 100% sterilizing immunity. (I am not anti-vax – I am vaccinated and want my kids vaccinated ASAP. I just know way too many people who got Covid from a vaccinated person to consider it anything close to a silver bullet.)
Anon says
We have semi local grandparents so we’ve never had a babysitter, but I consider myself very Covid cautious and I would have zero concerns about a vaccinated sitter who was willing to keep a mask on all the time. A mask for the kid probably isn’t necessary at all (unless sitter is concerned about their own health), but I suppose it doesn’t hurt to have kid wear a mask during the day time. They should absolutely take it off for bed.
Anonymous says
One single person in your house is unlikely to give you COVID, given that they’re vaccinated. We have one part time nanny (since pre vaccination, July 2020) turned babysitter and we don’t require her to work in a mask. You’re welcome to do so, of course, but we are very cautious otherwise (unvacced kids are outdoor playdates only, with masks, etc). Can you use one single sitter, or do you need rotating sitters? We have also paid for her to stay home on days where she doesn’t feel well, and paid for her time to get (free) testing when she’s feeling sick. We want her to feel comfortable staying home, but we also want her at our house for date night when she’s well!
anon says
Yeah, have a date night. Pick a sitter who doesn’t have some huge exposure risk and plan a backup date so if your LO or the sitter feels a little unwell it will be no biggie to reschedule/will make the sitter comfortable telling you if they have symptoms. Go enjoy a date.
Anon says
it is not sane to ask your kid to go to bed in a mask. however, i don’t see anything wrong with asking sitter to wear a mask. we have only had family babysit so far. they are not local, but just when they visit.
AwayEmily says
My daughter’s vaccinated after-school sitter does not wear a mask (though we have told her either party can change their mind at any point). It’s certainly a risk, both to her and to my kindergartener, and we do what we can to reduce it (she gets tested once a week, we cancel if either she or any of us are sick). But overall we decided that the benefits outweigh the risk. That being said, I think it’s totally reasonable to come to a different conclusion. And I can imagine that the benefits of unmasking are a lot smaller when it’s a sitter who’s only there for one night — then it’s an hour of mask-wearing as opposed to eight hours over the course of the week for an after-school sitter.
Anon says
We have a sitter we use consistently that is incredibly responsible and will tell us ASAP if she needs to cancel because she’s unwell or if she came down with symptoms after being around our kids. I don’t make her wear a mask. She’s a guest in our home and our risk of exposure is low overall, so it’s a risk I’m willing to take with her. And I say that as an immunocompromised, expecting mom. At this point in the pandemic, we are mitigating risk and living our lives. We will revert to no sitters while our newborn is young.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Just a thought – Could you have one of these vaxxed, masked friends come watch the monitor once your kids are in bed? This would limit interaction with kids which seems to be your (valid) concern.
CCLA says
We are cautious and have not had a sitter or a date night other than when we had out of town grandparents in town (we also have no local family). Because it seems like vaccines for our kids (3 and 5) are close, we have decided to wait on sitters, thinking we’ve made it this long a few more months is not a big deal. That said, I recognize that is a very personal decision based on risk tolerance etc. and not everyone would make the same decisions, and it doesn’t seem unreasonable to have a vaxxed sitter over that you trust would tell you if symptomatic or exposed. We are also lucky that our jobs afford us the opportunity for a lot of daytime dates, so we do breakfast or lunch at least once a month while the kids are in preschool. Not quite the same as an evening out, but still good to reconnect just the two of us. If you decide that you don’t want to go the sitter route, maybe a day date could help?
Anon says
Do you really think vaccines for 3 year olds are close? My pediatrician recently told me not before summer 2022. Yes, I cried in her office.
Anon Lawyer says
Everything I’ve heard from official announcements has been sometime between late 2021 and spring 2022. Not sure where she’s getting summer 2022 from.
Anon says
Could that be for filing? The 5-11 group isn’t expected to have access until late 2021
Anon Lawyer says
I think some people are still hoping that the approval will be filed for in early November and then approved before the end of the year (assuming about a six week lag) or the worst case I’ve heard filed early-ish in the year and approved by spring. None of the news sources I’ve heard expected a summer approval. Honestly, I basically had a freakout at the spring possibility.
Anon says
5-11 should be available almost immediately after the ACIP committee meeting on Nov. 2-3, so almost two full months before the end of 2021. It’s only 4-6 weeks from filing to EUA approval, so that doesn’t cause a large delay. Pfizer has said many times that younger cohorts were each 1-2 months behind and specifically that that the data for 2-4 year olds would be filed before the end of the year, meaning a likely December/January approval, with kids under 2 in early 2022. Buuuuuuut the FDA apparently wants 6 months of follow up data in kids under 5 (they were satisfied with 2 months for all other age groups, including 5-11), so it’s looking more like late spring for the 2-4 and probably summer for the under 2s. It’s also not clear there will be an EUA at all for under 5s. 6 months of follow up data is enough for full approval, so the FDA may go straight to that. Unfortunately the full approval process is a lot longer than the EUA process so that could bump the timeline back even further. Scott Gottlieb mentioned this recently and I think he’s in the know. He’s a former FDA chief and current Pfizer board of directors.
Anon says
I have some friends who have done day dates and sitter stays outside with kids for playground, picnic, etc, while parents go to brunch.
Anonymous says
Omg what? It is insane and dangerous to have your child sleep in a mask. Get professional help.
EDAnon says
We use a babysitter from their daycare. She’s masked at daycare (except when eating) and not at our house. The kids don’t mask at home (but do at daycare). They snuggle basically the whole time she’s here. We use her less than once per month and I feel comfortable with it.
I would not choose a masked sitter over a vaccinated one. The vaccines are highly effective. Vaccine for sure. Mask for extra protection, if you feel like even minor risk isn’t worth it.