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CorporetteMoms

05/23/2023 147 Comments · by Ann

Nursing/Postpartum Tuesday: Herringbone Personalized Baby Blanket

Recent Recs

A gray herringbone baby blanket with the name

I love personalized items as baby gifts. Here’s a personalized, soft baby blanket that will be treasured for years to come.

This blanket is made from a snuggly, recycled cotton-poly blend. The jacquard knit has a herringbone motif, and you can add baby’s name to make it special. Use it for cool evening outings or as the finishing touch for a nursery.

This baby blanket from Pottery Barn Kids is $125 (personalization included). It comes in oat, pink, chambray blue, and navy.

This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Sales of Note…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

  • Nordstrom – 2,100+ new markdowns!
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  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale: Extra 50% off markdowns
  • Zappos – 26,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.

Kid/Family Sales

  • J.Crew – 25-40% off kids’ styles; extra 50% off select sale
  • Lands’ End – Up to 40% off your order
  • Hanna Andersson – 30% off all kids’ & baby clothing; PJs on sale from $25; up to 75% off clearance
  • Carter’s – Rule the School Sale: Up to 50% off; up to 40% off baby essentials
  • Old Navy – 50% off back-to-school styles; 30% off your order, even clearance
  • Target – Backpacks from $7.99; toddler & kids’ uniforms on sale from $5
  • Pottery Barn Baby – Summer sale: up to 50% off
  • Nordstrom – Limited time sales on brands like Maxi-Cosi and Bugaboo.
  • Strolleria – Free infant seat car adapter with any Thule stroller; 30% off all Peg-Perego gear in our exclusive Incanto Collection
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About Ann

Ann is a working mom, a longtime reader of Corporette and CorporetteMoms, and has been writing our morning fashion advice for working moms since November 2020! She has a daughter (born winter 2014) and a son (born fall 2019) and is a public interest lawyer in Washington, D.C.

« Makeup & Beauty Monday: Repairing Hair Mask
Washable Workwear Wednesday: Cooling Stretch Cupro Bias Skirt »

Comments

  1. Isabella says

    05/23/2023 at 9:39 am

    At what age is it appropriate to expect kids to deal with not getting the same loot as the younger kids? I’m hosting a big mixed-age birthday, and planning very childish party favors for the little kids: marshmallows, a plastic figurine, some stickers in a twee decorated box. For the older kids and grownups, there will be some chocolates in a simpler bag and prizes if they win the games (probably toy weapons). What would be a good cutoff age? I’m pretty sure a 13 won’t want the little kid toys, but what about 11 or 12? 9 or 10?

    Reply
    • Cb says

      05/23/2023 at 9:44 am

      I’d just go for simple bags for all, so it’s not obvious?

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 9:49 am

      Generally the peers of the birthday child get favors and others don’t. Younger siblings might also get favors.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 9:52 am

      I’d just make plenty of kid bags available, not do bags at all for adults, and never ever give other people’s children toy weapons.

      Reply
      • GCA says

        05/23/2023 at 10:17 am

        This but even simpler: stickers and chocolates/ a cookie for all the kids.

        Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 9:53 am

      i would do one party favor treat for all and call it done. Eg. a themed decorated sugar cookie. If you want something else, get a big pack of waterbottle-esq stickers (around here it would be pokemon, axolotls, minecraft, whatever) and give each kid 5. the older ones can just give the littles the stickers if they don’t want them (but they might!). I have kids 4-12 and they’d all like what I suggested above AND it makes your life easier AND it’s not plastic junk.

      Reply
      • avocado says

        05/23/2023 at 10:19 am

        My teenager and her friends, one of whom has axolotl charms on her crocs, would be delighted to receive axolotl stickers. I find the trend hilarious. What’s next–tardigrades?

        Reply
        • GCA says

          05/23/2023 at 10:48 am

          You joke, but I am being targeted by Temu ads for what appear to be stuffed tardigrades. I must be the vanguard of the tardigrade trend.

          Reply
          • avocado says

            05/23/2023 at 3:19 pm

            This is amazing.

    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 10:27 am

      Marshmallows or chocolates and stickers work for multiple ages. If you have a family with kids on their side of your age line, it’ll turn into a fight in the car on the way home if there are different bags.

      Please avoid toy weapons if it’s not like water squirters. 2 in 10 adults have experience or have someone close to them with experience with gun violence. So statistically, that includes at least a few invitees at your party.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 10:50 am

        yes please no weapons. and i also would just do the same thing for everyone. adults dont want or need goody bags

        Reply
  2. Anon says

    05/23/2023 at 9:58 am

    Which choosing names for your kids, how much did you care if a name was popular? I’m pregnant with my first, and really like one specific girl name. But it’s been in the top ten names for over a decade. Did this impact your decision?

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 10:03 am

      I have a name that isn’t popular and have enjoyed that, so many baby name list is full of names that aren’t popular. But it’s literally your choice who cares what other people do?

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 10:07 am

      I grew up with Kate, Katie B., Katie C. and Kathryn, Jessica A Jessica R and Jessica D. I, personally, did not want my kid to have to always use her last initial so we picked one that’s less popular.

      In my 1st grader’s class (not grade- just class!) there is Oliva P, Olivia O, and Alivia-with-an-A. She has three Sophies and a Sophia in her grade. There are two Lucases and a Luca in her grade of 70 kids. Jokes on us though because her name is not common but the only other kid we’ve ever met her age with that name was in her kindergarten class so my kiddo became Penelope C.

      We have a friend that named their child Dagne. In her K class there was a Daphne and it was close enough that it created chaos.

      Reply
      • Katie says

        05/23/2023 at 11:17 am

        Hi yes I’m a Katie A. from the 1990s. Unfortunately there are several names I like that I won’t use because they’re too popular (Ava, Ella, Nora, Jack, Daniel, Aiden, Matthew).

        Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 10:12 am

      I’m a 1980s top 10 name, and there were usually 3+ girls in my class with the same name. On the opposite end of the spectrum, my husband has a very unique name (family last name). We opted for somewhere in the middle for our kids — appearing in the top 100 but not top 20-ish. To be fair I never thought it was a problem that I had a very popular name. But my husband really didn’t like having a unique name that no one could spell and lots of people just substituted a name they understood (like if his name was Chasen but everyone called him Jason).

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        05/23/2023 at 10:20 am

        I have a very common 1980s name and people still get it wrong. I don’t think it’s possible to have a name that people don’t butcher.

        Reply
    • Lyssa says

      05/23/2023 at 10:12 am

      Obviously everyone varies, but having grown up with a very popular name (which I’m now starting to see turn into a “woman of a certain age” name!), choosing names that weren’t very popular was one of my non-negotiable criteria (along with choosing names that were reasonably easy to spell and pronounce, given they would be dealing with a last name that was definitely not).

      Reply
      • Lyssa says

        05/23/2023 at 10:18 am

        FWIW, I’m now working at a large company with a lot of other women around my age, and I’m half tempted to change my name now. It’s more irritating to be in a meeting where people are constantly saying my name and I’m not sure whether or not they mean me then it was in a classroom!

        Reply
      • Mad Martha says

        05/23/2023 at 10:49 am

        On the other hand, I’m Martha and born in the early 80s and still hate it to this day. It wasn’t a family name, legitimately just random that my parents picked it. My siblings all have very neutral, classic names. I’m really sensitive to this tbh – I really hated my name as a kid, got made fun of a fair amount. So when it comes to my own kids I avoid anything with bizarrely unique spelling, so old that it should be left in the past (ahem. Martha) or that screams trendy/too popular at the time my kids were born.

        Fun fact: I’ve done some digging over the years, namely in my teen years, and Martha topped out in the mid 100s in terms of popularity in the 1920s.

        Reply
        • Anonymous says

          05/23/2023 at 11:04 am

          Martha is a neutral classic name

          Reply
          • Mad Martha says

            05/23/2023 at 11:31 am

            It may feel that way but I swear to you I’ve never met another Martha that isn’t >40 years older than me. Not saying they’re not out there, but it’s not current. It’s old and out of date. I honestly would have put Eleanor in that same bucket but it’s had a true resurgence, along with a handful of other names that I associated with older generations for a long time. Martha? Nope.

        • Anonymous says

          05/23/2023 at 11:16 am

          I have a Margaret who goes by a nickname. I can tell you are sensitive to your name but for a while she had her heart set on switching her nickname to Martha :).

          I had a friend with your name in high school and she went by her first initials, which were M.K.

          Reply
        • Lyssa says

          05/23/2023 at 11:30 am

          My daughter’s name sounds modern, I think, but I do worry a little that we overdid it with my son’s. It’s the name of a comic book (as well as many movies, tv shows, etc.) character who’s been very popular since the 40’s, so I hoped that would keep it sounding fresh and familiar, but I sometimes worry it’s still a little too stodgy. (No, I won’t confirm or deny your guesses.) But I guess we can’t get it perfect, and it’s far too late to change now. :)

          Reply
          • Anon says

            05/23/2023 at 11:50 am

            You don’t have to confirm or deny but my guess is Bruce :)

          • Anonymous says

            05/23/2023 at 12:27 pm

            Clark.

          • Anon says

            05/23/2023 at 12:31 pm

            As the mom of a Clark I think it’s not that. Clark is just one hundred percent awesome! I love my kid’s name.

          • Anonymous says

            05/23/2023 at 3:18 pm

            Clark is a pretty great name. I also like Bruce.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      05/23/2023 at 10:14 am

      I feel like there are so many more names now than there were, say in the 80s with the Jennifers/Jessicas/Sarahs, etc. that you can’t really go wrong even if it’s popular. It’s been rare that there is more than 1 kid with the same name in both of my kids’ daycare and elementary classes.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 10:32 am

        Yes, I just said below but I’ve heard this as well and anecdotally it seems very true. We have not actually met that many Olivias, Emma, Sophias, etc. I also think it must be regional to some extent. I know three Remys and I don’t think that name is super popular nationally.

        Reply
        • Anon says

          05/23/2023 at 11:27 am

          Totally agree. I don’t know any Olivias, Emmas, or Sophias, but I know three Maeves, a couple Daphnes, etc.

          Reply
          • Anon says

            05/23/2023 at 11:47 am

            Hazel is really big in my area. I know more Hazels than Sophias, Olivias and Emmas.

      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 10:54 am

        name your kid Jessica now, i don’t know any!

        Reply
    • anon says

      05/23/2023 at 10:17 am

      I specifically did not want something that was currently and newly popular. My kid’s first name is a “classic” (like John/James) and their middle name was most popular in the 1980s (like Jeremy/Aaron). That’s just my preference though, since I felt like popular names made it easy to like a name that would sound dated soon. But there were tons of Kates and Sarahs and Jessicas in my classes growing up and it was fine and who cares if they were 80s names – we were 80s kids!

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 10:20 am

      I have a kid with a name that was #1 the year she was born. My husband and I picked the name before it blew up in popularity. I wanted to change it, but he was set against it for sentimental reasons. He won, and as soon as she was born I was glad we didn’t change it. We’d been calling her that in our heads for years, and it fit her. We do use a non-standard nickname. Think something like “Ollie” for Olivia rather than Liv or Livvy.

      We have actually not met anyone else with her name, when there was another one in her class this year at age 5. I read an article that said basically there are many more total names being used now than in the 1980s, so even “popular” names are not nearly as common as they were then. It wasn’t a big deal for my kid to have another kid with the same name. I am the opposite of many people here – I have an unusual and hard to pronounce name that was always mistaken for a much more common name, so it was important to me that my kids had relatively common and easy to pronounce names, although in an ideal world we would have used a name outside of the top 10.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 10:21 am

        *To be clear, when I say “I wanted to change it” I meant when I got pregnant I wanted to pick a new name. Not that I wanted to change the name of a living child.

        Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 10:23 am

      I opted for top 100 but not top 10 names. We have a unique last name and I didn’t want the kids to have unfamiliar first and last names. I’m glad I avoided top 10 names. There are two Sophie M’s in the youngest kid’s class and 3 Olivia’s in older kid’s class.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 10:27 am

      Wouldn’t worry if it’s a top 10, but I would worry a bit if it’s Olivia or Isabelle or a variant thereof. Those are ubiquitous for us right now. Eloise pretty dominant too, but I think that’s more specific to my area whereas the others are national. (I have four kids so I see name repetition across four different age groups, so I think I have a slightly different view on this than others though!)

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 10:30 am

      Honestly I really wanted an Emma, and I nixed it because it’s too popular and also one of my close friends had an Emma a year before me. But if we ever have a boy, our name of choice is currently very popular and we would probably stick with it. It’s really up to you – will it bother you if she is one of four Emmas or Sophias in her class?

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 10:35 am

      I cared a lot about avoiding popular names and my husband wasn’t bothered by popularity at all. The name in question for us was Charlotte. Lovely name, but it’s been #2 in our state for the past 4 years. On the flip side, I had a friend intentionally not pick a top 5 boys name because of its popularity, instead choosing one that seemed a little less common, but that sounded similar. I guess lots of parents around the same time had the same idea because we know so many boys born within a year with the name she ended up with. All that to say, if you truly love the name more than any other, don’t settle for something else: you may still have to do the initial and that just make you more bummed!

      Reply
    • busybee says

      05/23/2023 at 10:37 am

      Didn’t affect my decision at all. I have a common name, so do my children and husband. Doesn’t bother any of us in the slightest.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 10:41 am

      Don’t worry about popularity, just choose a name you love. You just never know what everyone else is naming their kids. They could have a top 10 name and wind up as the only one in their class or a rare name with two other kids whose parents thought they were being “unique.” The whole thing is a crapshoot. I say this as someone whose 6 year old son has a name that wasn’t even in the top 300 the year he was born (family name, traditionally male), but is now being teased daily because there is a girl in his class with the same name.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 10:44 am

      100%

      One of my guiding principles for choosing a name was “familiar but not common”. I didn’t want popular names (I’m a Kate/Katherine/Catherine/Kathy/Katie from the 80s, myself :) )

      So far, we have one girl and one boy, and we love both of their names. And the feedback is generally “Oh, what a great name! You rarely hear that one!” which I guess means we hit the mark?

      Reply
      • Mad Martha says

        05/23/2023 at 11:10 am

        Begs the question: what are their names??

        Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 10:47 am

      Are you looking at country wide popular name lists? Or just state wide? I’m currently expecting so I feel the pain of how tough naming is.
      I have an older child. For her I sort of kept an eye on my state. But I did end up picking a name that’s popular nation wide. I’m not too concerned. I grew up with a kid in my grade with the same first name. And we did not have super trendy names. It’s really luck of the draw. I would trust your gut on what name feels right over name lists :)

      Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 10:52 am

        agree with this. i have twin girls in two different classes. there are none of the top 10 in their grade, but have duplicates of some very unusual names in each of their classes

        Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 12:26 pm

        Yeah I’m not sure how useful statewide data is, I feel like you’d really need county level data which doesn’t exist in my area as far as I know. I just pulled the state list for my daughter’s birth year. Her name is in the top 10 and we know a couple of other girls with top 10 names (though all of them are older or younger) but there’s no top 10 name representation other than her in her preschool class or any of her extracurriculars. I think the #1 girls name among people we know who are roughly her age is Eleanor/Ellie, which isn’t in the top 20, although maybe it would be if you grouped them together.

        Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 11:12 am

      I have an unusual name and I’ve always loved it. It’s a beautiful name, and I’ve never had to work or go to school with someone who shares it, but it’s relatively easy to pronounce. With my kids, I went a similar route. I don’t really understand the appeal of anything that’s in the top ~25. But to each their own, I guess.

      The one thing I would say you SHOULD NOT DO is think you’re super clever by doing a personalized spelling of a popular name. Just no. I’m thinking “Emersyn”, etc.

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        05/23/2023 at 12:29 pm

        It also doesn’t help with the main issue of having a popular name. No one can hear the spelling when they are trying to tell if you mean kid Bee or kid Be.

        Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 11:18 am

      Not much. I didn’t love having to use my last initial my whole childhood, but nonetheless we named our kid a top 20 name. There were three of them in preschool- out of 24 total kids! But somehow he’s the only one in his entire elementary school. My husband is an 80s Ben and there are four dads named Ben in our son’s Hebrew school class of 14 kids!!

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 12:00 pm

      I ended up going with a family name (maternal grandmother’s name and my sister’s middle name) that had recently picked up in popularity and is now in the top 20 names. Some of my other choices were also in the top 50 (even in the top 10), but that wasn’t the deciding factor for me. It was the significance of it being a family name. I have a unique and truly one of a kind first name. I hated it growing up. It’s long and hard to spell/pronounce. Kids made fun of it. I could never find a key chain or sticker with my name on it. Chances are good that with a popular name, she won’t be the only one with it in her class and will probably get a nickname by default. I had 5 Nicole’s (some had different spellings) in my graduating class that were designated Nicole, Nik, Nikki, last name, and last name.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 12:18 pm

        I also could never find trinkets with my name on them and it made me so sad as a kid. I swore I would never to do that to my kid, but then I did because I gave her a less common (though still standard) spelling of a popular name. Most trinkets we find have the more common spelling. Oops.

        Reply
        • Anonymous says

          05/23/2023 at 4:00 pm

          You can’t win with pre-printed trinkets. When I was a kid I could only find trinkets with a nickname I didn’t use, never with my actual name. My daughter can only find her actual name, but she wants her nickname.

          Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 12:50 pm

      I have a popular name and always enjoyed sharing a name with people — we gave one of our two kids a popular name and she does go by [name last name initial] at school. No regrets.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 3:39 pm

      It was a concern for our first and not our second. Went with a relatively rare name for our first (a boy) after a long search and lots of disagreement. For our second, we immediately agreed on a very popular girl name and never looked back. The agreement was more important than the popularity concerns, lol. No duplicates in preschool as of yet!

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 3:58 pm

      I think there are more names in use these days, so even the popular ones are not as common. I have a very common 80s name and work with someone with the same name and always had several in my class. However, I gave my daughter a top 5 name a few years ago and no one has the same name in preschool. We are in Southern California with lots of types of diversity in the neighborhood. I’m looking at fairly popular names for my second child now too.

      Reply
  3. Anon says

    05/23/2023 at 10:28 am

    Has anyone read the parenting book Good Inside by Becky Kennedy? Thoughts? I’ve heard good things, but also saw a few reviews saying it’s heavy on guilt and concepts like “repairing the damage.” I’m not sure that appeals, but I’d like a few more opinions.

    Reply
    • ElisaR says

      05/23/2023 at 10:36 am

      she’s a super popular influencer on social media. i think just following dr. becky for a bit will give you a sense if her vibe works for you.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 10:53 am

      i follow her on instagram and listen to her podcast. i like her stuff, but like everything else in the parenting world it is all suggestions, and there is no one right way. i take different stuff from different people

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 11:05 am

      I know a lot of people love her, but I checked out her Insta for about 10 minutes and saw she had some statement on there about how you need to hold your kids during a tantrum and if you leave them alone – even if they’re screaming at you to leave them alone and not touch them – you’re abandoning them and inflicting trauma. She was doubling-down in the comments when people were disagreeing. I immediately noped out of there. I have a dramatic, extremely strong-willed kid, and leaving her alone to calm down for a minute or two was the best solution for all of us. We never left for a long time and were always available for hugs and cuddles afterwards, but some kids really do better being alone when they’re mad. Also we talk so much about bodily autonomy and consent (which is a good thing) but why do we take it away from a kid just because they’re mad? Her whole vibe is just not for me.

      Reply
    • DLC says

      05/23/2023 at 11:31 am

      It might be more useful to listen to her podcast or to listen to podcasts where she is a guest. I haven’t read her book, but I have heard her on several podcasts and I think that’s a more balanced way to consume her content. She was on an episode of the Puberty Podcast, which I found helpful, but I think her philosophy does require subsuming one’s own mental/emotional needs to one’a child’s. It seems very exhausting. Like I get that I need to be the grown up, but once in a while I just can’t.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 11:55 am

        I think that’s part of my hesitation – I don’t want something that is heavy on subsuming one’s needs while also potentially heavy on the guilt. It’s hard to find a book or some guidance that feels like a fit!

        Reply
        • Anon says

          05/23/2023 at 1:41 pm

          Dr Becky doesn’t vibe with me. What age kids? Look at Moms on Call and look at research on authoritative parenting.
          Also not looking to make parenting harder than it already is.

          Reply
        • Anonymous says

          05/23/2023 at 4:34 pm

          Nearly every parenting book ever written is all about guilt and subsuming mothers’ needs.

          Reply
    • Anon2 says

      05/23/2023 at 12:12 pm

      It does sound heavy-handed, but “repair” basically means apologizing. If you messed up, own it. In fact, repair is just as impactful as “getting it right” the first time, which I find very reassuring rather than guilt-inducing. When I yell at my kids (all the time), I can go back to them and say “Whoah that wasn’t cool of me, I lost my patience, I’m sorry”. It models taking responsibility and that everyone makes mistakes.

      Just think of how many adults (on this board alone) wish our parents ever apologized to us…

      Reply
    • AwayEmily says

      05/23/2023 at 12:52 pm

      She’s okay — I don’t totally vibe with her and many of her “scripts” would not work with my kids. I also don’t like how she advocates for pretending to find something difficult to model failure for a kid (e.g. pretend you can’t cut something well). I think my kids would know I was lying and call me out on it.

      That being said, I have a friend who got the “good inside” membership and swears by it. I actually found the book substantially LESS annoying than the podcast/IG, so I would recommend getting it from the library and seeing what you think.

      Also, side note: I’m not a ride-or-die Janet Lansbury person by any means but I’ve been following her for years and I think it’s kind of a dick move that Becky does not have a SINGLE mention or cite of Lansbury in her book. It’s all like “i’ve invented a TOTALLY NEW way of parenting that nobody has ever done before!” when huge parts of it are just repackaged RIE.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 1:09 pm

        Total dick move and I’m not a JL fan

        Reply
      • Boston Legal Eagle says

        05/23/2023 at 1:45 pm

        Did she at least cite Magda Gerber? JL talks about her constantly. I like Lansbury’s focus on accepting that kids will have big emotions and that it’s not our job to make sure they’re happy and pleasant all the time. Talking about every little thing is a bit much though, and honestly, “works” with only one of my kids and not the other. Kids need different things.

        Reply
        • Anonymous says

          05/23/2023 at 2:01 pm

          +1 I like these kind of RIE/Gentle Parenting things for my own mindset, but I don’t really find that the strategies work well with my preschooler. He hates when I talk him through being upset. It works much better when we talk about his emotions when he’s in a good mood. But I really liked the framing about how kids aren’t manipulative, they’re not misbehaving *at* you, they’re just having a hard time.

          Reply
        • AwayEmily says

          05/23/2023 at 2:28 pm

          Nope! No cites or mentions of Gerber either. I think I am probably especially sensitive to this sort of thing since I am an academic whose career depends partly on citations, but still!

          Reply
  4. SF says

    05/23/2023 at 10:33 am

    My colleague/direct report/friend (I’ve known her for about 8 years) is about to have her third child (3 under 5). She has everything she needs. I’d like to spend $100-$150 on a gift, this is outside of a present the company will give her. What would you want? In LA, if it’s relevant.

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 10:36 am

      Post partum meal delivery service? Really great eye mask and ear plugs so she gets the best quality sleep when she does get to sleep?

      Reply
    • ElisaR says

      05/23/2023 at 10:37 am

      i always feel like the 3rd kid doesn’t have anything with their name on it. Maybe a towel or an overnight bag with the name embroidered on it? I dont’ gift blankets anymore after receiving many and not using them.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 10:56 am

        and not a baby towel, those last for 5 minutes. we received kid sized beach towels for my twins at birth and have been using them for 5 years

        Reply
        • ElisaR says

          05/23/2023 at 11:01 am

          yes! beach or bath kid towels have been in use in our family for years. You could do a cute beach one with a baby bathing suit this time of year…. would be a cute gift! or a sun hat. you can never have enough sun hats (said the pasty lady on the internet).

          Reply
        • Anon says

          05/23/2023 at 11:27 am

          Yes! I actually like receiving those big towels. I recommend the boogie baby hooded towels from neiman marcus. You can get them personalized. They’ve held up well, much better than the mark&graham one we received for the other kid.

          Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 10:44 am

      Gift card towards a facial or massage

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 11:04 am

      Multi pack of condoms

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 11:22 am

      I have 3 girls and at one point had 3 under 5. My 3rd is always in hand-me-downs and has nothing personalized. She went to school today wearing a hoodie with her sister’s name on it carrying a backpack with her other sister’s initial on it (by choice, she thinks it’s funny).

      So, my suggestions are:
      – Monogrammed or personalized things, especially those that can be kept as the kid gets older. An LL bean tote with the kid’s name would be cute! Or a towel or beach towel set. Lunchbox if she’s going to daycare.
      – A brand new outfit or outfits, the more over the top the better. Name brand, total silliness. Ugg boots for a 6 month old, that sort of thing. First borns get all that but never the youngest.
      – something for mom, though this might be covered by the company gift.
      – something for all the kids, maybe coloring books and stickers or magnet type toys.

      Do not give a baby blanket unless it is personalized. She has plenty :)

      Reply
      • NYCer says

        05/23/2023 at 11:36 am

        I was also going to suggest an LL Bean tote with the child’s name on it. We received these as gifts for both of our girls, and they get a ton of use.

        Reply
    • SFs says

      05/23/2023 at 12:02 pm

      OP here – she does not have a name for the baby yet (36 weeks…) and it’s her third boy. Keep the ideas coming! :)

      Reply
    • anonM says

      05/23/2023 at 12:49 pm

      These are both things I’d ask the mom about beforehand, but what about the Ahimsa stainless steel kid plates? Not sure when they came out, but I didn’t see them until recently and it’d be a nice upgrade/plastic swap if we do go for #3. Or, if they don’t have one yet, a collapsible wagon?

      Reply
    • CCLA says

      05/23/2023 at 2:53 pm

      Unless you know her needs and wants really well, or would like to ask her what she’d like, I’d just get something happy and celebratory like champagne and flowers (or something from registry if she has one, I’m assuming not). I am one of those ppl that buys everything for myself and am therefore hard to shop for, but still appreciate nice bouquets and celebratory bottles. Or maybe a food delivery GC, which will almost certainly be useful but not as celebratory. I’d also love a Burke Williams GC but if she’s not conveniently located to one that may be more annoying than helpful.

      If you want to add something kid focused, we have loved the Ahimsa ware someone mentioned above, and bonus – they are really pretty. Still useful years later for when the kids are snacking outdoors.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 4:43 pm

      You might or might not be able to get this for $150 in your area, but HOUSE CLEANING

      Reply
  5. More Sleep Would Be Nice says

    05/23/2023 at 11:07 am

    Just posting here for a vent. Now that I’ve made the decision to look externally for new jobs – I’m really seeing things that don’t work (for me) at the current place, and realizing what red/yellow flags I overlooked. Hindsight really is 20/20.

    On another note, taking any suggestions to help me manage my constant annoyance at my boss – I’m borderline going BEC – today during a meeting, when the team suggested X person take care of a task, she pushed back and told the team “Well it doesn’t take two masters degrees to [do said task], like X has.” NOT OKAYYYYYYYY!

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 11:20 am

      Who cares? You need to work on caring less about this job.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 11:40 am

        +1 and I say that with love as someone who really hates my current job but is stuck here for Reasons. You will destroy your own mental health if you think this much about the frustrating parts of your job.

        Reply
      • OP says

        05/23/2023 at 11:46 am

        Thank you both. I likely needed to hear that. I’m…getting there. Getting emotionally detached and being able to “see” the things that don’t work for me was a big step.

        Reply
  6. Boy Shoes says

    05/23/2023 at 11:18 am

    Parents of 10yo boys – what are the cool shoes kids are wearing this summer? A friend asked me for shopping help but I have a toddler girl so I’m at a loss.

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 11:29 am

      My 10 yo boy does not care about what is cool at all–he still wears whatever is on top in his dresser–but loves crocs as they are easy to get on and off.

      Reply
    • anon says

      05/23/2023 at 12:51 pm

      new balance 990s or 550s

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 1:33 pm

      All my daughters friends (male and female) are still wearing Air Force 1s, air Jordan’s, and crocs.

      Reply
  7. anon says

    05/23/2023 at 11:48 am

    My 8 year old is getting into running. Not part of a team yet or anything but I want to encourage her. What are good running shoes for that age? Would be great if they aren’t too expensive because she grows like a weed!

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 12:23 pm

      Depends on her feet. If it fits well, its a good shoe for her.

      Reply
    • GCA says

      05/23/2023 at 12:29 pm

      I like New Balance sneakers for my own running, and that’s what DS wears (the Arishi model). I never buy full retail price – you can find them at outlet stores.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 3:23 pm

      Take her to a specialty running store! Fleet Feet is a chain but we’ve had great luck there. Once my kid’s feet grew half a size in two weeks and they recognized us when we came back and replaced the shoes for free under their Happy Fit guarantee.

      Reply
  8. Anonymous says

    05/23/2023 at 11:53 am

    When can children eat hot dogs

    Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 12:19 pm

      I don’t think there’s an age limit if you cut them into small pieces. Whole, I’d say probably around age 4-5?

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 12:21 pm

      Not before 6 am

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        05/23/2023 at 12:31 pm

        April through March.

        Reply
      • Anonymous says

        05/23/2023 at 12:41 pm

        But also not after midnight.

        Reply
      • AwayEmily says

        05/23/2023 at 12:53 pm

        these all made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

        Reply
  9. Anon says

    05/23/2023 at 12:16 pm

    if you were going to spend an afternoon in nyc with two 5 year old girls, which area of the city would you pick? and hotel recs? i was thinking maybe battery park city and do seaglass carousel and playgrounds? different idea?

    Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 12:20 pm

      Would they like fancy afternoon tea? Lots of great spots in NYC for that.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 12:35 pm

      I’d do uptown near central park. you could go roller skating, do the zoo, go into the ramble and look for birds (including our recent escapee from the zoo, Flacco), lots of ice cream trucks around there or a quick walk to Madison Avenue for fancy ice cream. And if it’s bad weather, you’re near the Natural History Museum or the Met (my kids like the mummies/egyptian stuff). Can end with a walk down Fifth Avenue for NYC Vibez.

      Reply
      • OP says

        05/23/2023 at 1:47 pm

        the only thing with this is that my kids go to the zoo and museums near us all the time (like weekly in the summer) and i grew up in NYC so have a soft spot for the ones there, but not sure 5 year olds would appreciate the difference

        Reply
        • Anon says

          05/23/2023 at 2:33 pm

          Not the 12:35 poster, but don’t they also go to playgrounds and carousels regularly? Nothing about your original plan really screams “only in NYC” to me. The 12:35 poster’s suggestions feel more unique to NY, at least in the opinion of this Midwesterner who visits NYC regularly. I feel like Central Park is pretty different than what most kids have at home and I think many 5 year olds would appreciate how epic the Natural History Museum is (unless you happen to have a very similar museum like Field or Smithsonian right near you).

          Reply
          • Anonymous says

            05/23/2023 at 4:03 pm

            Are my kid and I the only people who find natural history museums absolutely terrifying?

    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 2:27 pm

      I think for just an afternoon a lot of places would work, but I would recommend staying at a hotel in a residential neighborhood with a lot of kids (e.g. not Midtown). I think Battery Park City is fun – Rockefeller playground is extensive, you also have the carousel, and then the SI ferry is a free boat ride. Central Park is also fun. If you want to get out of Manhattan you could do Brooklyn Bridge Park, especially Pier 6, and maybe the Transit Museum. Brooklyn Heights/Dumbo in general is really pretty and kid-friendly with great views of Lower Manhattan. And if you haven’t lived in NYC recently, Brooklyn Bridge Park and Dumbo has changed a lot.

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        05/23/2023 at 4:40 pm

        In Brooklyn the Transit Museum is a kid-pleaser.

        Reply
        • Anon says

          05/23/2023 at 5:56 pm

          I think 5 is kind of at the upper age range for this. We went when my kid was 4 and she was mildly interested, but I think it would have been a much bigger hit at 2 or 3.

          Reply
    • NLD in NYC says

      05/23/2023 at 3:31 pm

      Coney Island and Nathan’s hot dogs if you can make the trek. Otherwise echo Nat History Museum (you need to get tickets in advance) & Central Park.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 4:19 pm

      If they are Eloise fans, there is an Eloise-themed tea at the Plaza.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 4:20 pm

      When my daughter was that age, she loved seeing a kid-friendly musical on Broadway.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 6:01 pm

        This is very kid dependent. Most kid-oriented Broadway shows (Aladdin, Lion King, etc.) say they don’t recommend it for children under 6. They’re kid-friendly subjects, but they’re still full length Broadway shows that are 2+ hours with intermission and your kid needs to sit still and be quiet the entire time, which a lot of 5 year olds couldn’t manager for that time frame. I’ve been taking my kid to live kids shows (like Daniel Tiger, Peppa, Bluey, etc.) since she was 3, and we still haven’t attempted a Broadway musical because I don’t think she could be quiet enough.

        Reply
  10. Anon says

    05/23/2023 at 12:18 pm

    My almost-2.5-year old is driving me nuts. He wants to put everything in his mouth. He wants to throw all the things and food. There are tantrums galore with *DRAMA*. There’s screaming. Kicking. Hitting?!? And then so much mischievous grinning. SO MUCH.

    He’s a little behind speech wise (not consistently putting 2 word phrases together/sentences) so I think a lot of this has to do with the communication piece. He’s in speech therapy which is currently virtual and I’m looking into other private, in-person options.

    My older kid was not like this at the same age – different challenges, but not this. Any suggestions?

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 12:30 pm

      Mmhhhhmmm. In a years time he won’t be 2.5. That’s all I’ve got. Kid sounds like a toddler.

      Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 12:33 pm

        Yeah none of this sounds unusual to me and I have a kid who was above average in terms of speech at that age.

        Reply
        • Anon says

          05/23/2023 at 12:58 pm

          Same. My 2.5 year old is very verbal (speaks in complex paragraphs), and yesterday she licked the bathtub wall, threw a doll across the room, smacked her little brother, and was upset that she didn’t get a 4th story at bedtime. She’s 2.5 and 99% charming (and the other 1% is ROUGH, but I know it’s all a phase).

          Reply
          • Anon says

            05/23/2023 at 1:58 pm

            Omg this reminds me of when my 2.5 year old licked the door at the doctor’s office.

          • Anonymous says

            05/23/2023 at 3:51 pm

            From the list of things I never thought I’d have to say:

            We don’t lick the potty.

      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 12:49 pm

        Ha I love this. Three boys, my youngest is 2.25, and YES. This is all I’ve ever known in toddlerhood.

        Reply
      • Anon says

        05/23/2023 at 2:38 pm

        Yep sounds just like my nearly 3yo. As hard as it is, holding my temper or walking away if I need to take a breath help so much.
        If the tempers are related to transitions like leaving for school, I set timers and he’s gotten pretty good about respecting them

        Reply
    • anonM says

      05/23/2023 at 12:54 pm

      Channel it as much as possible. Give them a dedicated digging area outside if you can. Give them safe things to throw OUTSIDE. Save your “no”s for safety as much as you can (I know, REALLY really hard). My DS was really tough at that age, but one thing that did help was finding what he liked and giving him space for that. For him, it really was garage time. We gave him wood to stack, things to “help” with as much as we could. A pool noodle and some golf tees to “hammer” in. Once you get into a power struggle, you’ve lost, so trying to head it off was key for us.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 1:16 pm

      2.5-3.5 has been the toughest period for me with both kids. Second kid is a Denis the Menace. Like the ideas he comes up with are insane. Your child sound normal. Outside time (like 3hrs/day), lots of exercise, and good food. Otherwise lots of deep breaths!

      Reply
    • OP says

      05/23/2023 at 2:51 pm

      THANK YOU!

      Reply
    • Mrs. Jones says

      05/23/2023 at 3:03 pm

      Same for mine, unfortunately until he was 4.5 years old. Sigh.

      Reply
  11. Not sure if I'm a terrible parent today says

    05/23/2023 at 12:28 pm

    Told my eight year old she could make breakfast this morning (DH traveling) thinking it would be cereal or frozen waffles in the toaster oven and came down to her having scrambled eight eggs for me and all kids, plus toasts with jam. Stove was off and pan in the sink. On the one hand, good for her. On the other hand, should I be letting my second grader use the gas stove? If she’d left it on I could have turned it off when I came down, but she also has siblings. So even though she’s careful that makes me nervous. But at what age do I get comfortable? Or is it a thing where I should be nearby? What do you all do?

    Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 12:32 pm

      I’d call this a parenting win, not terrible parenting! I think 8 is old enough for a responsible kid to use the stove, and she sounds very responsible.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 12:34 pm

      I think she just proved she can use the stove safely. You can make a rule that she can’t use the stove when you’re out of the house if you must, but enjoy this moment! What a wonderful show of independence and consideration. If I were your daughter at that age, I’d have been crushed if I had safely made breakfast for the family and was then told I had erred by using the stove.

      Reply
    • GCA says

      05/23/2023 at 12:40 pm

      Clearly you are a wonderful parent and doing something right if she makes a complete breakfast for the whole family! I would be very proud of her for being thoughtful and careful, and if she’s interested, take that as a sign to build in more opportunities for her to practice. If you think about it, those 9-year-olds on Junior Master Chef have been around stoves for a long time….

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 12:46 pm

      We have two eight year olds learning to cook and our rule is that they can use the stove if we are home (not just big sister babysitting) and they let us know that they are using the stove. That way we know so we can check in at appropriate intervals or be alert to anything going wrong.

      I would be very positive about the breakfast but in the future to just let you know if she is using the stove.

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 12:52 pm

      I have a 9 y/o and she’s allowed to use the gas stove but has to tell me first. I would be less nervous about electric.

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        05/23/2023 at 12:54 pm

        And I wouldn’t frame it as a negative. Just “it’s so great you can use the stove! You did an amazing job. Here are some to rules now that I know you are old enough. They aren’t because you are a kid; gas stoves can be dangerous if not turned off all the way. Here’s what to watch out for….”

        Reply
    • OP says

      05/23/2023 at 1:50 pm

      Thank you all! My coworker was shocked and DH was a bit nonplussed when I reported this as well, so you made me feel better! I’m going to use all of these suggestions too.

      And work on that junior masterchef career.

      Reply
  12. Immersion over summer says

    05/23/2023 at 12:56 pm

    Kid goes to an immersion school, but I’m worried about his awesome language skills decreasing over summer. I speak some of the language, but not fluent (not enough to provide an immersion environment). I’m home over the summer with the kid. Any suggestions to keep up the language?

    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      05/23/2023 at 1:10 pm

      Do you have Disney Plus? You can switch the language. We’re a bit strict on English language screen time and then allow extra screen time in other languages. I usually have them put the subtitles on as well so they get used to seeing the words in the other language. A lot of the National Geographic kids shows are only in English but most movies and like Bluey type shows are in multiple languages.

      You can also use the duolingo app, and/or audio books on spotify (depending on language). Plus your local library may have resources. Our smallish city library had a surprising number of kids books in other languages.

      If you speak some, you can incorporate it into play like playing store or restaurant in that language.

      Reply
    • River bird says

      05/23/2023 at 3:36 pm

      Tv suggestion is great. Reading in the target language and singing or listening to songs (childrens and regular) also help even if your pronunciation isn’t perfect. And just try to speak the language, especially if you can memorize a few key phrases (put on your shoes, take your plate to the sink, whatever) – I’m also learning my kids target language and I tell myself that I’m teaching them it’s ok to just try even if you can’t speak perfectly.

      Reply
    • DLC says

      05/23/2023 at 4:15 pm

      Do you have language camps in your area? My kid is in an immersion program and there are a few summer camps in his language around. They are very expensive so I’m only sending him for a few weeks.
      I think reading is also a great!

      Reply
  13. Swim bags says

    05/23/2023 at 1:01 pm

    Any favorite swim bags?

    I had been putting stuff for all 3 kids into a small duffle but they are all older elementary now and ready to have their own bags. Prefer backpack style but open to duffle as well. Ideally with a separate part for wet flipflops.

    Reply
    • Anon says

      05/23/2023 at 1:54 pm

      Unless they’re on swim team, just use their backpacks with a plastic wet bag inside

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        05/23/2023 at 2:11 pm

        Not swim team but between swimming at day camp, swimming lessons and weekends at the lake, they are usually swimming 3-4 days a week between June – September. I would just grab some regular backpacks but I feel like they don’t air out that well when in frequent use for damp items.

        Reply
        • Anonymous says

          05/23/2023 at 3:49 pm

          Yeah, for daily swimming at day camp I prefer a swim backpack with a mesh compartment for wet stuff. Check out Swim Outlet for a good selection.

          Reply
    • TheElms says

      05/23/2023 at 2:39 pm

      I’d get wet bags for inside their regular backpacks and then you can wash the wet bags. Otherwise I’d do mesh /nylon style backpacks so they can be washed when they start to smell. I swam in high school and everything needs to be washable or it will smell.

      Reply
    • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

      05/23/2023 at 2:52 pm

      I use a mesh beach bag + wet/dry bag, but also I cram all of our stuff in there. I think any bag + wet/dry bag would be good.

      Reply
    • Anon says

      05/24/2023 at 6:53 am

      I use a huge wet bag meant for babies as my six year old’s swim bag.

      Reply
  14. Anonymous says

    05/23/2023 at 1:20 pm

    So Anon I missed your comment yesterday but just wanted to say I am so happy for you about the new job! How did it go with your boss?

    I changed jobs to one where my boss is in Europe and I LOVE it. My boss has a great European sensibility about work life balance and the early schedule suits my natural focus times. I hope you are able to take some time off in between and enjoy!

    Reply
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