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As much as I thought working from home (aka living at work) was going to be temporary, it’s looking more and more like it’s not. The piles of folders I have lying around and the general file I’m throwing everything into on my home computer desktop, “COVID-19 Work,” need a more permanent and more organized solution.
I never knew that file cabinets were so darn expensive until I was browsing for a way to organize the files I took home from my office. Even the smallest and ugliest ones are approaching $100, and then you’re stuck with an ugly file cabinet in your house.
I found these plastic bins, and they solved my file organizing problem. They fit both legal- and letter-sized files (and you need to purchase hanging folders like these to use with it). I like how all of my files are finally in one place, and I can move the bin around to where I need it.
A single file box is $10.99 at Staples; a set of four is $39.99. Hanging File Box
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Cb says
Is anyone listening to Nice White Parents? I’m one episode in and I’m simultaneously fascinated and cringing in recognition. Our local school has a fairly bad reputation but here in Scotland, you either go to your catchment school or you have to go private, which financially just isn’t doable for us.
Anonymous says
I think there’s a lot of commentary that this is an oversimplification if the issue, at least in the US. Example https://medium.com/age-of-awareness/review-of-nice-white-parents-podcast-disjointed-and-disillusioned-4e8cd05bc714
AwayEmily says
Thanks for the link; that was a really interesting critique. I just finished listening. I both agree with the general thesis of the response and also think it kind of missed the point of the podcast. I don’t think the point of Nice White Parents was to argue that white parents are responsible for all educational inequalities — rather, it was to showcase the specific role white parents play in integration (or the lack thereof).
Anonymous says
Exactly.
Realist says
Yes.
Anonymous says
Yes I think it raises interesting and valid points. It’s doing worthwhile work. But many parts of the US are much more segregated than Brooklyn! From my, essentially all white, school district growing up to a school district with a significant minority population was 15 miles- which sounds close but it at least 45 minutes away. Absolutely white parents are never going to be okay bussing kids that far when there’s a school a 10 minute walk away.
Anon Lawyer says
Yes, and that raises the question of why all those White families moved to areas without a significant minority population. It’s certainly not a coincidence
Anonymous says
Absolutely not. It’s all tied in together.
Anon says
That kind of reinforces the point that white parents will do anything to justify their choices/deflect blame…. (myself included – lots of work to be done to reckon with how our choices for our children are perpetuating a broken system)
Anon says
I’m curious what you see as being the ethical choice in the scenario she presents. In Brooklyn, you can (1) live in a neighborhood with an excellent zoned school, that will likely be largely white (there are some exceptions to this); (2) send your kid to an excellent G&T program in a school that is more diverse, but the G&T program will be separate from the other kids, and largely all white/asian; (3) send your kid to GenEd at a more diverse school not in your neighborhood (most likely), where the academics will, at least on paper, not be comparable to what you would get at your neighborhood school; (4) choose a charter school, which will likely be more diverse but will “suck kids away” from the public school system; (5) choose a private school, which will likely be excellent and also more diverse than a good neighborhood public school, but again suck kids away from the public school system.
It seems like according to the host the only ethical option is choice 3, but if you choose that, it is also bad if you try to improve the school in any way. So I guess her position is we should all value diversity over getting the best academic education possible? (setting aside, for now, the argument that being in a diverse environment has its own educational value, which of course it does).
Anon Lawyer says
I don’t think “trying to improve the school in any way” was bad – the issue here specifically was that the white families came in and took over . That’s a totally different thing than working with the existing community.
That said, I think pretty much everyone acknowledges that the choices made by individuals are not going to solve our problems – all our choices are bad because the system is bad.
Anon says
I guess 3…or choose a more diverse neighborhood to live in. I absolutely agree we should value diversity over getting “the best academic education possible.” Choosing “the best” for your kid without thinking about the potential impact on your local schools/other students is a subtle form of racism. Some people may decide that’s something they will accept, but it needs to be called out
Anonymous says
Can’t you also go to a denominational school or apply for an out of catchement place?
Cb says
You can, but Catholic state school in our area is full and out of catchment is rare (unless you have a compelling reason). Gaelic school might be an option, but a hell of a commute.
Anonymous says
Ohhhhhh but Gaelic school sounds magical though.
Anonymous says
I’m four episodes in. A couple of things have been on my mind as I listen–first, what’s the point of acknowledging systemic racism if we’re not focused on systemic solutions to racism? If anything the podcast has reminded me that having white people go around publicly owning up to their privilege and posting certain books on Instagram and declaring Juneteenth a holiday is not going to drive any real change. I think the podcast is strongest when it shows how white parents, sometimes intentionally and sometimes not, push on the system levers in ways that are detrimental to families of color. (Though it’s the personal parts that are, of course, the juiciest tape.)
The other thing I’ve been thinking about is race vs class. They’re so intertwined here in the U.S., it’s hard to listen for them separately. But my husband is a Brit, and when I was telling him about the podcast, he wondered why it’s not called “Nice Rich Parents.” It did make me think a bit about which of the dynamics at the school are really tied to race versus tied to money. Not to diminish the role of racism in the school’s history, but I wonder if it would be easier to arrive at solutions to these questions if we focused on solving the money issues–how and how equitably schools are funded, PTA fundraising, etc.
Anonymous says
Just another example of how the U.S. takes systemic problems (racism, child care) and turns them into an “individual responsibility.” Oh, it’s not the system’s job to fix systemic racism. All those white people just need to make the right choices. It’s not society’s job to figure out how to provide high-quality child care for working families. All those mothers just need to figure it out for themselves because it was their choice to have kids. Etc. etc.
Anon Lawyer says
I agree that’s generally a problem, but I don’t think the podcast is doing that. I think that’s a lot of generalizing from particular stories that are told. But also, I do think the specific stories it tells of white parents siphoning off resources (not deliberately) are important to hear because they can inform how we approach things.
Separately, on the class vs. race issue, it’s not the same here as it is in the U.K. Of course there are parts of the U.S. where “Nice Rich Parents” would be more accurate because there’s a significant concentration of poor white families. (And note that even in the U.S., class is not synonymous with income either.) But in this school, the rich parents appear to pretty much overlap with the white parents and vice versa and that’s not an accident – it’s a legacy of racism.
Anonymous says
The role of government is to fix market failures and misaligned incentives. The current system gives everyone, including white parents, the incentive to do what’s best for their own children, often at the expense of other people’s children. Some parents will choose to do the “right” thing out of a sense of moral obligation and disadvantage their own children, but not enough to make a real difference. We need to set up the system so that the choice that is best for society is also the best choice for the individual. That’s the only way things will change.
Anon Lawyer says
Maybe in the long run. But it doesn’t mean you can’t endeavor to do things like not stampede over the parents of color at your kid’s school’s PTA in the meantime.
Anonymous says
No all of this comment is diminishing racism. It isn’t rich parents. It’s white parents.
anon says
A childless, teacher friend recently said to me “I was raised to not fault parents for doing the best they can for their kids”. I think that is the real problem putting the blame on individual parents instead of looking at how to, for example, make all urban elementary schools good. It’s not realistic to ask parents to inflict (real or perceived) damage to their children’s future for an incremental benefit to societal racial justice.
Anon Lawyer says
I feel like we need to interrogate this more though. Sure we all agree with this statement. But is everything people think is a detriment actually a detriment? What about actively pushing families of color out of the way in the school community? Do you really have to do that to get your kid a good education?
Of course you are going to do what’s best for your kid. But it’s also good to rethink what that means and what kind of collateral damage that you are willing to inflict in the process. Like, we should all just be active and thoughtful about this stuff.
Sf says
I see the keekaroo recommended here a lot. Why is it needed/worth the money? (10 days postpartum with my second and trying to simplify middle of the night diaper changes…)
Anon says
We couldn’t figure that out so we didn’t get one. The main benefits seem to be the lack of a need for a cover and the raised lip to help contain accidents and rolls. But we didn’t have to change the cover on our regular one all that often, and DH switched us to the poo poose once kiddo got extra wiggly because the wide velcro strap helped keep her in place.
Anonymous says
I think the main advantage is that it wipes down for easy cleanup if there’s a blowout?
Anonymous says
I think it’s a waste of money it’s not a huge deal to wash a changing cover.
Anonymous says
But it is when you don’t have a washer/dryer in unit — the ability to wipe it down was absolutely key for me. I thought it was totally worth the money and passed it on when mine was out of diapers — it’s now on it’s 3rd baby and still looks good as new. No regrets!
Anon says
I didn’t have one but I did have chux pads (if you have unfortunately had ill relatives someone probably has a stash of the leftovers) and they were great.
Lily says
I HIGHLY recommend getting two packs of these: https://www.amazon.com/Quilted-Thicker-Waterproof-Changing-BlueSnail/dp/B075ZMCBLG/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=bamboo+changing+liners&qid=1597931019&s=baby-products&sr=1-3
We only changed the cover (cute bottom sheet type thing) on the changing pad every couple weeks. Whenever there was spillage, we could just throw these liners into the wash. During the newborn stage, we probably went through a couple a day, but we still use them now with our toddler. They wear like iron in the wash and have zero stains after almost two years.
Anonymous says
Same, they worked great for the first 6 months when blowouts were a regular occurrence. Wiping down a hard surface would have been more work than throwing those liners in the wash.
cbackson says
I use these too, and love them.
AIMS says
I never even had a diaper table with my first. And I never had a single issue. I bought two large, washable changing sheets at IKEA for maybe $5 each and changed my daughter either on the bed (at night, after I fed her) or on the couch. We had more room with my second and bought a changing table (also at IKEA) and it was fine, but I honestly used it more for organizing supplies underneath than for actual changing. Once he was past 4 months, it felt much safer changing him on a bigger surface (with the same IKEA sheet under) or on the floor so he couldn’t wiggle off. I know some people really love these different baby things but sometimes the problems they are intended to solve seem like the pasta pot that is ‘just impossible to drain’ on late night informercials (cue woman struggling comically to empty water). But that said, if you’re overwhelmed, have the resources for this and it makes you feel better able to handle this moment – why not?
NYCer says
We didn’t have a changing table per se, and the Keekaroo peanut worked great on top of a dresser. I liked that it was extremely easy to clean, and also that it is very easy to move (sometimes we would put it on the bed to change a diaper, for example).
Do I think there are other changing tables/pads that are fine too if you don’t want to spend as much money? Absolutely. But I still think the $100 or whatever it is now is worth it.
Clementine says
Same. Also, for us, it’s been used almost continuously, been sanitized many times, and is still in great shape almost 5 years later.
HSAL says
Same to all of this.
Anon Lawyer says
Yeah, I put it on a dresser too so I didn’t have to have a separate changing table while the baby was still sleeping with me. (I know a regular changing pad can work on a dresser but this was very simple to just plop down there). I found it useful for the first four months and it did save me a fair amount of laundry. That said, I didn’t see the need to move it into the nursery when I moved her.
Also, I bought mine used off of Facebook marketplace and it is fine – I don’t think it’s something that needs to be bought new if you want one.
Pogo says
It wipes down. No washing of a cover, and it also holds up more than the others I’ve seen that just have like, a thin plastic cover over the foam (if these get a breach, even just a snag, I feel like that’s super gross and I would toss the whole thing – what if the pee soaks in and gets into the foam permanently?).
Scilady says
Similarly but not as pricy as the Keekaroo I got the Skip Hop Changing Pad. Same idea, but $80 instead of $130. I also used a 20% off coupon so the price came down further.
I thought changer + 2 fabric covers = same price as skip hop changing pad, plus I spills were easier to clean up! Still going strong after two years, and we’ll use it for baby #2. I also really liked that it sits on our current baby dresser, even without the adhesive straps.
TheElms says
We have the Skip Hop — got it for around $60 with a sale or coupon. Its fine. We also have this one, which is $30 and I like as much. We are at 15 months and no holes or snags. My kid crawls and jumps on it too. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00O64QJOC/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Cate says
Wipes down instead of washing (there will be moments when the type with a cover doesn’t have a cover for sure – and the extra laundry would just be annoying). Never smells. Sits nicely on a dresser. And I’m on fifth year and third kid of usage and it looks like new. Would buy again All. Day. Long.
Anon says
yea its not the keekaroo per se, that was just the first one that came out. the skip hop one works just as well. mostly it is because it is one less piece of laundry and easy to wipe down
layered bob says
we change on a folded bath towel. you can roll the edge under to provide a lip on the side. I like it better than anything I’ve used elsewhere.
we had our first baby when we were poor, poor, poor so learned to do things in an old-fashioned/cheap way with a minimum of baby-specific items. I could afford to buy baby stuff with subsequent children but have found we prefer the old way.
Anonymous says
We have had no problems with a regular changing pad like you’d put on a changing table and fabric covers. We have two so it’s easy to wash one, and beyond the first 2-3 weeks with each kid rarely, rarely get any fluids on the cover. With my first I used the disposable liners everyone here touts. They were awful!!! In those first 2-3 weeks where my oldest boy peed every time we did a change, the pee would hold on the liner and get his clothes wet in a way the fabric changing pad would not. I’d just use an extra towel next time in that stage. (Planned to with second boy but he did not do the pee-during-change thing.)
Anonymous says
It doesn’t seem like it to me. I made it through three kids in diapers (one still in diapers,but done with frequent blowouts) without any changing pad or table at all. When I was pregnant with my first, my husband could not see the reason we needed one, and I could not think of a good reason. We use old towels, usually on the floor. I don’t find it that hard to through it in the trash if there is a blowout. It is easier to “change” a towel than a cover for a changing pad. So, I recommend the totally free old towel method. I suppose it is not free if you don’t have a lot of old towels, but I do. I also use the tummy time mat once they are done with it.
Anonymous says
I used a second hand vinyl covered foam version of the same thing, which I’m sure was invented in the 80s if not before. It was kind of ugly, and I patched one ripe with duct tape, so I used washable covers with it, but you could certainly wipe it down as needed. I found washing the cover occasionally to be very easy. Anyway, I paid $5 for mine and it was fine. It was similar to this: https://www.target.com/p/munchkin-secure-grip-waterproof-diaper-changing-pad-16×31/-/A-10484093
Anon says
No cover, wipe down, super soft. Durable as all get out (we got ours used and passed it on, so it’s going on 9 years).
Anonymous says
Thanks to whomever recommended sunlight as a stain remover the other day! I had a white toddler dress that was covered in tomato sauce stains and I left it on a windowsill and it looked as good as new in a few hours. (Also a powerful reminder that windows don’t block UV radiation so wear your sunscreen while driving!)
Anon says
Yay!! It works like magic and no chemicals or scrubbing!
Anon says
That’s so random. I had no idea.
CCLA says
Yes on the UV/windows situation! Something I didn’t realize was an option but am now committed to doing for every car we get: we had our car windows/sunroof treated with UV blocking tint (you can it dark or get ones that are virtually clear so it’s not too darkening on the front windows, I think the only thing we couldn’t legally do here in CA was the windshield).
Clementine says
Same. Also, for us, it’s been used almost continuously, been sanitized many times, and is still in great shape almost 5 years later.
Pogo says
Welp, just had our first non-COVID runny nose at daycare. As always it comes from one of the other kids being with their cousins. I’m grateful it’s just a cold, and I’m not being required to keep my LO out, but it made me realize how no matter how much distancing you practice, wear masks, sanitize and wash constantly…. it’s still not enough. It’s scary, but I still don’t see how it’s possible to keep our LO home.
We also let our LO play with his cousins a couple times, so I really can’t fault the other parents. But it highlights all the risks and it just sucks. There is just no clear answer.
Anonymous says
I would actually be relieved if a kid had a runny nose. The presence of sneezing or a runny nose means it’s way more likely to be allergies or a cold. My ped won’t even test kids who don’t have a fever or a cough.
Anonanonanon says
We had to get our 2y/o tested last week after she suddenly got a 105 fever and chills in the night but no other symptoms. She was negative, but outside of West Nile (mosquitos have been awful and she is constantly covered in bites and the local health dept isn’t doing mosquito trapping/testing/control this year) I can’t imagine what she would have gotten. We have her home full-time with me (mostly) teleworking and a nanny who socially distances. Big brother had just spent the weekend at his dad’s so it’s possible he brought something back. Like you said, just a creepy reminder that illness finds a way
Anonymous says
It could have been any number of things. Brother. You from going out. Nanny from going out.
anon says
Heh, glad (?) to know there are other jurisdictions insisting that COVID means they can’t spray for mosquitoes. They are so much worse in my neighborhood this year than before, but the city isn’t doing anything about it.
Anonymous says
Sudden high fever with no other symptoms (other than normal kid sadness that comes with high fevers) actually sounds like how my kids experienced roseola. The rash didn’t show up until a few days later after the fever was gone.
Anonymous says
Roseola was my thought too.
anne-on says
+1 – my kid had no other symptoms other than super high fever (104) for 3 days with Roseola. The lacy rash breaking out was a relief as it ‘proved’ our hypothesis but the doctor/we were pretty sure as super high fever with no other symptoms is pretty classic presentation.
Anonanonanon says
Interesting! Her fever broke after less than 24 hours, and it’s been over a week with no rash, so who knows. Doc office wanted negative COVID test so they knew which building to see her in, and by the time we got the results (only took 48 hours) she had been fever-free with no medication for 24 hours so it seemed pointless to take her in. Kids are weird.
Anonymous says
So they refused to see a child with a 105 degree fever until you waited 48 hours for a negative COVID test? What were you supposed to do, take her to the ER? I thought a 105 degree fever was an emergency.
Anonanonanon says
Yea I was pretty mad that they would only do a video visit and then just ordered a COVID test (seemed like a case of looking for zebras when you hear horses) they did say to call again if she “got worse” but I was definitely worried it was a UTI or Strep or something else that could have had serious consequences. Luckily it turned out fine
Anonymous says
Yep!
Marilla says
How did she manage with the test? we will be required to test our kids for every fever, cough, runny nose and the thought of holding down my very strong 2 year old for that test is not one I’m loving…
Anonanonanon says
They did nasal, not NP, so she was surprisingly OK with it.
govtattymom says
My daughter got a sudden 105 degree fever from a urinary tract infection. So perhaps it could have been an infection that resolved without antibiotics?
Pogo says
Oh it’s definitely just a cold. But it brought home the reality that sending our kids to daycare truly is exposing them, despite the precautions. Which I knew intellectually. It’s hard emotionally.
Cb says
Oof, so tough! My son was really tired this am and I had to remind myself ‘He had a full day at nursery, stayed up late, he woke up at 5 to use the potty, of course he doesn’t want to get up at 7.
Anon says
My 7 yo managed to catch chicken pox in March while 100% quarantined and fully vaccinated. Kid immune systems are amazingly entrepreneurial.
anonamama says
This happened to us, too, and it’s been on my mind in the same way. I sent him, but when coupled with a cough I kept him home. (Lucky I can do so in these times). Seemed with some rest it got much better. Going to be a long road…
EB says
My 1 year old had a runny nose, and then my husband was sick (sore throat, fever for only a couple of hours, and terrible congestion) but tested negative for covid. Then I caught what my husband had, minus the fever–just sore throat and congestion. No one is coughing through. I had the same thoughts about how scary it was that we caught something even through all the precautions. I presume the 1 year old brought it home from daycare. Big brother never got sick.
Mrs. Jones says
We all tested positive and our son’s only symptom was a runny nose. Obvi it could have been allergies, but he def had Covid.
Anonymous says
Oh no! Are you all doing ok now?
Pogo says
Wow, I definitely thought ‘runny nose’ was super uncommon w/ COVID (but your point is that you could be totally asymptomatic for COVID but have a runny nose separately, which makes total sense).
Pogo says
ugh yeah West Nile and EEE bring a whole new level of complication to the pandemic. Now we can’t even have them outside! (being sarcastic, sort of….)
octagon says
Genuine question: If daycare has a Covid+ teacher in your room, you definitely keep the kid home. Kid has been taken for a test but it will be at least 3 days for results. Do you also keep home the elementary school sibling while you wait? A friend is navigating this right now and I have no idea what I would do.
anon says
Yeah, I think you do, because it’s inevitable that both sibs have been exposed.
Anonymous says
This is one reason we decided not to send 2 year old to daycare this year honestly. Seemed like it would interfere too much with elementary kid’s schooling and husband’s teaching (elementary teacher). Of course we had to make the decision about our usual daycare before we learned that schools are remote for older kid/husband so in hindsight maybe daycare would’ve been better than half time nanny coverage…
Anonymous says
Yes. Definitely keep all family members in the household home until negative test.
Anonymous says
I think you should.
Anonymous says
aaaaand this is why we need rapid tests.
3 days sounds like a good turn-around time compared to some I’ve heard from neighbors recently, though. And that’s the sad part
Anonymous says
I’m not sure a rapid test would be a good thing. A test is just a snapshot of your Covid status at one moment in time, so a negative test is not particularly reassuring unless it’s been a week or more since you were exposed. It’s very possible you could be exposed, test negative during the incubation period and subsequently get sick. I feel like if you’re exposed you really need to quarantine for a minimum of a week, so having to wait at home for pending test results is actually a good thing. Getting a negative rapid test done on, day, day 3 after exposure might give you a false sense of security, and you might re-enter society too soon.
Bedtimes says
Parents with multiple ages kids, especially if they are elementary school age- talk to me about bedtimes. Specifically, do your kids have the same bedtime and how/when did you make that transition if they do? We have three (8, 3, and 1 year) and they all have different bed times (8:30, 7:30, and 8pm respectively) and bedtime routines, and it is sucking all our time and energy in the evening. Understandably the baby will be on her own schedule for a while, but I would love to streamline bedtime for the older two.
anon says
The kids are 5 and 10, and no, they don’t have the same bedtime and never have. Their needs are different. I don’t know if you can streamline the actual time they go to bed, but it may be possible to tweak parts of the routine. Like, you all do stories together at the same time, or they all get PJs on at the same time. What is the 8-year-old able to do independently while you’re helping the 3- and 1-year-olds?
AwayEmily says
We have a 4yo and a 2yo who share a room and put them to bed at the same time. They are in bed at 7:45, and have to stop talking by 8:00 (punishment for talking is that one gets moved to the guest room, which they both hate). one thing that helps is that we got both of them little nightlights to have in their bed (Google “Munchkin owl light”) and so one can keep reading/looking at books quietly for awhile if they want.
It’s a later bedtime than I’d ideally like for my 2.5yo but he still naps really well and the two-bedtime thing just doesn’t work when kids share a room (we did try for awhile, and it was horrible).
Anonymous says
5.5 year old and 2 year old have always had the same bedtime. That was 7-7:15 when they were in preschool and daycare, and 7:30-8 now. The 2 year old naps until after 4 so he just talks in his crib for anywhere from 30-90 minutes until he falls asleep (feeling lucky on this). Older kid, without school, often can’t fall asleep till after 8:30 and that is pretty draining, but we are gradually reducing the amount of time we spend putting him to bed.
Anonymous says
I think baby and little one should be on the same earlier time and older one later.
Spirograph says
My kids are 4,5 and 7, share a room, and therefore have the same bedtime. The oldest will tell you that his bedtime is 8:30 and the little kids’ is 8, but we almost always do the bedtime routine en masse. It is certainly easier now that they’re mostly self-sufficient at getting pjs on and brushing their teeth and we just have to kind of herd them from one task to the next. All 3 listen to stories together unless the oldest is doing reading practice separately with the other parent, and then they all go to bed. (Then they usually all “sneak” out of bed and keep playing for another 30-90 minutes by the light of their nightlights, and we’ve been letting that go in pandemic times). When the youngest was a baby, the older 2 shared a room and we did their bedtime together and baby’s separately. I think we moved him in with the older kids around 18-24 months, and then it was just easier to do all three together.
They definitely fall asleep at different times. When there’s a schedule to maintain, we’re a little more strict about them being quiet and in bed after lights-out, but it’s OK if they look at books quietly with night lights if they’re not sleepy yet. Their beds are not in sight-lines of each other if everyone has his/her head on the pillow, so unless they’re being noisy the restless one(s) don’t usually keep the other(s) awake.
Redux says
This is what we do, too. Kids are 6 and 3, share a room, same bedtime routine of baths (the 6 yo showers while the 3 yo bathes), teeth, books, which all takes about 45 min, and “bedtime” is at 8pm, but one or both usually read or play quietly for some time after that. I highly recommend doing the bedtime routine all together– otherwise bedtime must last forever!
NYCer says
With those ages, it seems like it would might be easier to streamline the 1 and 3 year old, and deal with the 8 year old separately (later).
Anonymous says
5 and 8 year old. Same bedtime (8pm) but oldest is allowed to read in her room until lights out at 8:45pm. 5 year old has lights out at 8pm and is usually asleep almost immediately.
In your case if the 3 year old is closer to 4 but still napping, then I would put them and the 8 year old to bed at 8pm.
If 3 year old is closer to the 1 year old, I’d put both of them to bed at 7:30pm ish, maybe cut 3 year old nap by a half hour in the afternoon and let the 8 year old go to bed at 8:30.
OP says
Thanks, this is helpful input!
FWIW the 8 and 3 year old share a room, and the baby is in her own room because she is still crying it out. The 8 year old usually is playing by herself while the two younger ones go to bed. We’ve always put the three year old to bed first so that it is quiet when the 8 year old gets into bed, but it seems like chatter is par for the course for room sharing. I like the idea of a night light for the eight year old and letting her sit up and read by herself.
It’s so helpful to hear what other people do!
Bedtime says
For those with toddlers, what does your bedtime routine look like? Our oldest just turned 2 and his bedtime routine feels like it just keeps expanding! (Mostly bc my husband is a huge pushover TBH.). We have a newborn at home so I don’t want to make any super drastic changes but I also know he needs a reasonable consistent routine.
Anonymous says
Bath book bed is our mantra. There’s a bookshelf of “bedtime books” that are reasonable length next to the bed.
Anonymous says
Same, this was ours with toddlers and hasn’t changed. Any after-dinner playtime is before PJs are on. We don’t do bath every night, in which case it’s just pj’s, brush teeth, book, bed.
I’ve found that interrupting the flow by allowing play – or worse, TV! – after pjs takes them out of the bedtime mindset. DH sometimes does this, and we always regret it. Once you start toward bedtime, there is only one acceptable path! Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
Anonymous says
Ha, my advice is the opposite. Decouple as much of the getting-ready as possible from the bedtime routine. We do bath, jammies, and toothbrushing right after dinner. At bedtime, it’s just books, songs, and lights out.
Anonymous says
This. No tv/screens after supper but a half hour of playtime is allowed. Then pjs on, brush teeth/facewash or bath then 2 books in bedroom, get in bed and one song. Two books because it gives me a book to take away if kid is being slow. I use things like, ‘let’s hurry up so we have time for two books’. Lots of positive talk about which books we are going to read to motivate getting to the book stage.
Anon says
i have 2 year old twins. we have dinner at 5:30, they have milk at 6:30 and then around 7 we go into their room for new diapers, teeth brushing, pjs and a book. they are in bed by 7:30. they are 27 months, when they had just turned 2, they were in bed more like around 7ish. we don’t have some super long drawn out complicated routine.
CCLA says
Ours is around 20 min for our almost 2yo. Brush teeth and wash face, diaper/outfit change, then a couple of books, lights out in crib and close door. Usually around 715. I definitely recall this being a longer deal with our older one when she was this age since it was just her…I think it was often 45 minutes honestly. We’re much more streamlined now! We do baths twice a week usually, just wiping them down well with a washcloth on the other days.
Anon says
3YO. We do bathtime between 8-9, brush hair and teeth, lotion, jammies and diaper (she’s not night-trained yet), kiss the non bath parent goodnight, then tuck in bed ideally around 9-9:30. Child will get up, repeat tucking in bed ad nauseum until child falls asleep (typically between 10-11, sometimes we get lucky and she is out in 5 minutes, and sometimes she’s crazy and it’s 1am).
Anonymous says
So late!
Anon says
When she was younger and napping she went to bed at 11 or midnight! So this is a marked improvement. She sleeps until 8 or 9 in the morning though and has always been on the lower end of sleep needs. We have flexible hours, so we’ve just made it work for our family.
Anonymous says
From another mom of a night owl–commiseration. People will judge you for letting them stay up late, but it’s easier and they actually sleep more that way.
AwayEmily says
These days, 3 books in our bed, then brush teeth, then diapers/pjs, then into the crib for one more story. Total time: about 30 minutes. However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a long bedtime routine if it works for you, though. When we had a newborn and a toddler we often had an hour-long bedtime routine (lots of books, lots of snuggles), partly because it made the toddler feel very safe and happy during the tough sibling transition period.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I have a 4 year old and an almost 2 year old (in Oct.). Our bedtime routine starts for both after dinner (around 5:45ish) and TV (6ish – 6:30ish) – bath for both done by one parent, the bath parent then takes the older one and does his routine while the non-bath parent takes the younger one to his room for milk, “brushing” teeth, and books. Toddler is put in his crib at around 7:15/7:20. The toddler usually stays up a bit just talking and rolling around as he still naps. Our older one actually falls asleep earlier now, by 7:30, as he doesn’t nap.
For the toddler + newborn combination, we had a pretty similar routine for the now 4-year old of bath, brush teeth, books, bed but I think it was closer to 8 as he still napped, and then the newborn was put down early, but then had a later feeding, so he was put down for the night later.
anonn says
3 year old, after dinner around 7:30 we do bath (15 min), jammies (a 10 min struggle), 5 books (maybe 15 minutes, but she gets distracted and tries to play), brush teeth, bed (I have to lay with her for like 5 min at least, and take away all the loud or light up toys she’s dragged into bed). It takes like 45 minutes and there are usually fights, and daddy cannot do it without me or there are major tears. It’s lovely. but some days are better than others. terrified for what happens when new baby gets here in 6 months
Pogo says
solidarity. we are pretty much the same. It’s because the 3yo still naps. When he doesn’t nap he doesn’t fight the bedtime as much. If I leave the room after books & songs, he will shut the door, turn on the light and play until 10pm. I’m not even kidding. No nap, he passes out like one song in.
Baby coming in a matter of days so we shall see. He will allow daddy to do pretty much everything, but then when it gets to lights out suddenly he needs “mommy books” or “mommy songs”. I’ll let you know if I have any breakthroughs.
anonn says
yep, she’s napping mid-day about 60% of the time, I can’t tell what impact it has on bedtime though. If she hasn’t napped she’s def more of a monster between 5:30-7. She stays in bed once I leave her at 8:30 or so, but she’ll talk to her babies for like an hour after I leave the room. Then of course at 7am she’s a teenager who will not get out of bed and just screams at us. Bedtime is also when we have the cutest conversations, it’s not all bad.
katy says
We have the same child. Solidarity.
Anonymous says
We don’t do baths every day and we don’t do books most of the time either (we read a lot but I don’t like tying it to the bedtime routine). So we do pick up toys, change into PJs/sleep sack, brush teeth, hugs and get in bed. There were a few months shortly after turning 2 where she tried hard to extend it but we were consistent, even if it involved tears, and now she’s moved past fighting us (at least for now).
Anonymous says
For our just turned 2 year old: brush teeth, change diaper and put on pjs (singing if he doesn’t tell us to STOP SINGING), read 3 books, put in crib, say good night, leave. He’s up another hour or so talking and playing in his crib. Our older kid also had some songs at bedtime at this age.
Shortly after this age older kid started wanting us to sit with him till he fell asleep, which started to be a looooong time. We eventually had to cut that out, but I don’t remember how we did it!!!
Redux says
haha, solidarity from another mom of a kid who HATES when we sing! so rude!
asdf says
We have a just-2yo too. We do 6:45pm bath and teeth with first parent while second parent walks dog. Bath is hugely entertaining now so it can continue for 30 minutes. Then 1-2 cartoons or playing. At 7:20pm upstairs with second parent for book(s) and turn off light. The max number of books is 3. Kid would happily listen to a million but, honestly, I cut it off. The whole routine is pretty long (45 minutes) but gets done what needs to happen and then leaves the evening free for adult time. We occasionally move things up by 30 minutes or so, if kiddo is particularly tired. I’m not sure what your trip point is but we used to delay going upstairs. We finally set an alarm for 7:20pm to keep ourselves honest.
Knope says
Evening schedule for my 3yo – I consider every step essential to our routine/getting him to bed on time:
6pm: Nanny leaves
6:15-6:25: I try to transition kid from playing to washing hands and sitting down for dinner. Sometimes easy, sometimes a huge challenge.
No later than 7: Kid finishes dinner and goes potty (this is usually when he poops, so it can take a while)
Usually 7:20 but no later than 7:30: Bath
7:40: Dry off, lotion, pull-up, jammies
No later than 7:50: Story (length depends on how late it is)
7:55: Brush teeth
8-8:10: Lights out – final chat about the day and kisses and hugs from me and DH
Anon says
2.5 year old + 4 month old here. Fortunately we divide and conquer bedtime or else SOS.
For the 2.5 old, we give her a cup of milk around 6-6:15 PM. We start the “official” bedtime routine around 6:30, which is nighttime diaper, lotion, and PJs. We brush teeth and then she picks out 3-4 books to read together. We usually have a few minutes of tickles and silliness after that, then we put on her sleepsack, do some cuddles, and she goes into her crib around 7. We should probably start keeping her up until 7:30 or so because it can sometimes take her 20-30 minutes to fall asleep, but she loves her crib and loves playing and cuddling with her “buddies” (aka her stuffed animals) so I don’t feel too guilty about it.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
My ideal bedtime for DS (2.5) is anytime between 7-7:30, but that’s a harder target while we all WFH. Also he usually naps, sometimes until 4:30-5 so those days bedtime is closer to 8 PM. Otherwise he’s good with “rest time” in his bed in the afternoons. He must be a sleep-lover like me.
– Anytime between 6:00-6:45 – DS sits down for dinner. If I’m on my game it’s 5:45-6 PM, but with COVID quarantine, I sometimes work until then, and need to take DS outside for at least a bit, even in the crazy heat.
– 6:45-7:15 PM – DS finishes dinner, says goodnight to DH and Puppy
– 7:15-7:45 – Bath, Book, Lights out. He hangs out with his stuffed animals for a while – sometimes 20 minutes, sometimes 1 hour. He’s up by 6:30-7:30 AM.
GCA says
I have kids with low-ish sleep needs. 24mo naps 1.5-2h, 5yo does not nap. Here’s our routine:
6pm – dinner
6.30 to 7 – they bounce around while we wash up from dinner
7pm – dessert, aka fruit and a small treat
7.15pm – each takes a shower (5yo showers on his own with a spot-check, 2yo showers with one of us). PJs, brush teeth, books, tidying up the house
8pm – they are in bed. 5yo usually falls asleep right away. 2yo sings to herself, asks me a zillion questions, requires her water bottle/ more lotion/ a stuffie, makes song requests, and typically falls asleep close to 8.45pm. She should really take shorter naps, but we need the work time during the day. Sometimes on the weekend she has a 45min-1h car nap and then falls asleep right away at 8pm.
They’re up for the day right around 6am.
ALC says
Anyone have a recommendation for an endocrinologist in DC? Bonus points if they take BCBS insurance. Thanks!