Since I didn’t nurse for very long, and never had to occasion to breastfeed in public or pump at work, I’ll admit that I am limited in knowing exactly what products are practical and useful for this purpose. I came across this one, and it at least looked creative and had a practical use, so I’m passing it along! For those who don’t want to invest in clothing specifically for nursing/pumping, these clips keep regular shirts up and out of the way. It looks like they can tether important items for easy access as well. The LatchPal Clip is $13.95 and is eligible for Prime and free returns. Hands-Free Nursing Clip
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Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
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Kid/Family Sales
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ camp styles
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
I would never have used this clip. I wore regular shirts without a nursing cami underneath, so I would have felt terribly exposed with my shirt pulled up that high.
OP says
I always just pulled my shirt up. The baby blocked most of my midriff from view and I didn’t really care if people caught a brief glimpse of my stomach. I never felt like I needed a clip though.
Anonanonanon says
Agreed. The baby’s head kind of holds up the shirt if I remember correctly.
FVNC says
This does seem like a great idea in theory, but I also never would have used it. I had plenty of issues with nursing my kids, but my shirt staying up wasn’t one.
Cb says
What do your weekend routines look like? Anything you’d recommend? Anything you’d like to change?
For context: I live in a flat on the outskirts of a major city (20 minutes on bus, 15 min drive to city centre), with my husband and 18 month old.
Saturday: 6am wakeup, play, make pancakes, before driving to tumbling class at 9:30, one of us does tumbling while the other runs errands on foot in the area, then toddler takes a buggy nap while we walk, grab a coffee, and catch up. Typically lunch, museum, or meet up with friends, before heading home to play / skype with grandparents.
Sunday: 6am wakeup, play, breakfast, more play, and then one of us takes the toddler out for his nap while theother speed tidies the flat, typically nap is followed by lunch and some sort of outing – a trip to the adventure playground, beach, soft play, or a meet-up with the hiking group.
I’d love a lie in on the weekend but 6am wake up for nursery = 6am weekend wake-up apparently, sometimes we take turns sleeping in. I’d also love my kid to nap in his cot but the fact that he’s so happy to nap on the go is definitely a bonus for getting out and about.
Anonanonanon says
Sounds like you cram a lot into one weekend! That’s awesome, I wish we did that much! I’m never quite sure where all the time goes. We only have 1,500 sq ft (including our basement) and the time seems to go to cleaning, babyproofing the house (she finds something new to get into every week), laundry, and who knows what else. Ours won’t nap on the go though and is still on two naps a day, so we’re in that weird stage where you feel kind of trapped in the house by the nap schedule.
Cb says
The two naps is a killer – dropping that nap is lifechanging. We are in 700 square feet flat with a weekly cleaner and a tiny, low maintenance garden so that helps as well in terms of minimal maintenance.
Anonanonanon says
Also we live about a 20 minute drive from a major city but we just don’t go a lot. There’s not really parking anywhere (at least that I feel like messing with), it’s a cold winter, and the public transport options are great on weekdays but sorely lacking on weekends. I wish we were better about going, but I just hate the cold.
Anonymous says
Y’all are way more ambitious than I ever was. Since kids were born, DH and I trade off Saturday and Sunday mornings so I’m ‘off’ on Sunday mornings until 11am. Nursed until 18 months so DH would bring in whatever kid needed to nurse and take them out again when they were done. Exceptions for ski weekends and when I get motivated enough to take the kids to church. He facetimes his family (long distance) on my sleep-in morning and goes for a run on his ‘sleep in’ morning. I plan to get caught up on work every Sunday and consistently fail to do it. Afternoons are outdoor time and some chores. Homemade pizza on Saturday night or date night on alternating weeks. Sunday dinner at my parents. Usually one kid has a birthday party to attend at some point over the weekend.
Anon says
You do so much!
We travel a lot (at least one weekend a month usually) so when we’re home we don’t do much. Our 11 month old sleeps late and takes 2 long naps still, so making it to playgroups or baby classes is tough. Her big awake stretch is from 3:30-7:30 pm, so not much to do for babies in that time frame. We usually go to dinner out as a family at least once. I make blueberry pancakes for everyone on Sunday morning. DH plays a sport on Saturday afternoons so that’s my one-on-one baby time and then he is in charge on Sunday afternoons, although we usually end up hanging out as a family. Usually DH grocery shops during one nap on Sunday. I usually Skype with someone (grandparents, BFF, etc) at some point over the weekend while the baby is awake. Pretty boring, honestly, but I’m really introverted and love having these quiet weekends to recover.
Cb says
Yeah, I’d need mellower weekends if we were traveling that much.
Everlong says
I love this question and am interested to see the responses!
I am up early on Saturday mornings to fit in a run. I’m home by 7/7:30 when the kids wake up, ages 3 and 1. We do breakfast and play and then usually go somewhere. Our favorites include the children’s museum or Target. We usually go out to lunch one of the weekend days so if we’re out anyway, it’s probably a lunch day. The baby still does 2 naps but he does OK skipping the AM nap if he’s engaged in something. We’re home for the afternoon nap by 1:30. Baby naps, 3 year old now skips naps in favor of fun things that are harder to do when the baby is awake, like crafts. Baby is up by 4:30, we do dinner at home, and then just play.
Sunday is sleep in day! It’s the only day I don’t set an alarm and I get really excited. Kids are up by 7/7:30 and we try to just stay home and fiddle around the house all day, sometimes we’ll go to the park or see local family. I need the recovery day.
There isn’t anything I would really change. My whole weekend is much better when I’m up early and have my alone time before everyone else gets up on Saturdays. Then, I need the recovery on Sunday.
FVNC says
A typical morning looks like this:
My kids (5 yr and almost 2 yr) are early risers, but like lazy weekend mornings. We’re all awake between 6 and 6:45. The kids stay in their pajamas and snuggle/play in the “big bed” for a while, then we go downstairs for breakfast. After breakfast I take the toddler with me for a dog walk to the playground where kiddo can play on swings and slides for a while. This is my time to call my parents and have a long talk (my mom and I talk/email almost every day, but this is our phone time). Then we go as a family to the gym, which has childcare, and stay until lunchtime. At home we have lunch and put the toddler down for a nap. My husband either does an activity with the 5 yr old, or we let her watch a movie to get downtime for ourselves. After nap we often go to the local children’s museum to let them burn off some more energy, then back for dinner/playtime/night time routine.
I like that our weekends are mostly unstructured and relaxing, but that we have the option to drive an hour to a larger city with more activities for our 5 yr old. It leaves us flexibility to schedule play dates, fit in errands, visit a winery, go out to lunch or an early dinner, etc.
What I’d change is getting outside more. I live in the south and am used to mild winters that allow us to hike, spend lots of time at the playground, and generally feel active, but this winter has been wet and cold, and the hiking trails and playgrounds are muddy and it’s just as enjoyable to get outside when everything feels damp!
FVNC says
And by “typical morning” I meant “typical weekend.” Whoops.
Seafinch says
We have extremely mellow weekends. Three kids age 8, 5, 2 and one expected next month. We opt out of organized activities. We get up at the earliest at 0700 and everyone gets up on their own time, husband does early shift and makes breakfast and coffee. Kids play, no screens, generally. I try to focus my errands on Saturday morning and get home in early afternoon. He stays home with them often does a household project (or just gets the kids’ weekly laundry done) occasionally, he will take them to a public swim over the winter months, otherwise we might do a walkable excursion to the local outdoor rinks, sledding hills or playgrounds. I meal plan and prep weekly meals, finish errands. Two year old (almost three) still naps at least two hours in the middle of every day. Once she is up, neighbourhood kids either hang out and play at our place or ours go to their place. Sunday is substantial repeat with the addition of church (sometimes) and any last minute errands arising from meal prep/planning. Once a month or so we have casual guests for brunch or dinner. During warm months when the grandparents are not in Florida, we go their place for Sunday dinner, which is two blocks away. Extremely low key but everyone is rested for the week and the planning/prepping means we eat well and together every night of the week and are done by 1830 with lots of time for baths and reading.
avocado says
I have a 12-year-old, so our weekend schedule is a bit different. An ideal weekend looks something like this:
Saturday: Sleep in until 6:00 or 6:30, sort laundry, exercise class. Kid sometimes comes along and works out while I am in class but usually stays home to do homework. Grocery shopping and errands, ideally with kid along to squeeze in some quality time. Lunch is usually at home between errands. After errands, start cleaning the house, with kid’s help if she doesn’t have too much schoolwork. Husband spends the day doing laundry and yard work. Between loads of laundry, he goes for a run, reads, and watches TV. In the evening, I usually cook our nicest dinner of the week. Sometimes we go out to a movie, play, or concert, get together with family, or have kid’s friends over to hang out with her while we hide upstairs and pretend not to be home. Otherwise we rent a movie, read, play a board or card game, or just fall asleep from exhaustion.
Sunday: Sleep in until 6:30 or 7:00. Husband usually cooks a big breakfast. Kid does homework or goofs around while I finish cleaning and husband cleans floors. If I have some time left over, I’ll work on a home organization or maintenance project. Make lunch. After lunch, husband takes kid to sports practice while I start weekly meal prep. Husband and I go to gym. Husband picks kid up from sports practice while I make dinner. Eat dinner. Stress out about the coming week. Go to sleep.
In the summer, the kid doesn’t have Sunday practices, so we will sometimes spend a day hiking or an afternoon at the pool. Many weekends during the school year, she has a sports competition that takes up an entire day or requires an overnight trip, which throws the whole system into chaos. I’d like to find some downtime on the weekends for hobbies or reading, but I never seem to get caught up enough with the household chores for that.
CPA Lady says
Saturday:
I go get donuts and put gas in my car at the gas station next to the donut restaurant. Sometimes kiddo comes along, sometimes she stays at home and plays or watches cartoons. Every once in a while we mix it up by going to the car wash too.
We eat the donuts at home and then husband takes kiddo to the grocery store. I get to do what I want during this time.
Back home for lunch
Nap
Afternoon activity – usually all three of us go together to do something kid focused like the playground, children’s museum, zoo, etc. If husband has been traveling for work, he’ll usually take kiddo to something alone either Saturday or Sunday afternoon to give me some more time off.
Dinner
Playtime/tv/bath/whatever
Bedtime for kiddo
Sunday:
Breakfast
I take kiddo to church. I’m in choir, so I have rehearsal while she goes to sunday school, then she plays in the nursery during the service. Husband is not religious, so he stays at home and does whatever he wants.
Lunch
Nap
Afternoon activity – same concept as Saturday.
Dinner
Playtime/tv/kid and husband FaceTime with MIL
Bedtime for kiddo.
We have our okay to wake light set to go off at 7:00 a.m. on the weekends. It keeps kid in her room for an extra half hour. She’s always been early to bed and early to rise.
We typically do fifty billion loads of laundry on Sunday, so as all the Sunday things are happening, laundry is going in and coming out.
Organized activities — kid has done both soccer and ballet, but these have been on the weekdays. She’s kind of over them at the moment so we’re letting her quit them both. I actually prefer weekday activities, but I’m not opposed to someday adding one to our weekend. It’ll just depend on what she wants to do and when it works out best for our schedule. I’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
AwayEmily says
We don’t have a schedule so much as things we try and do every weekend, which are:
– Go to the library
– Have pancakes for breakfast
– Visit my mom (~20 min away)
– Go to the grocery store as a family (VERY early on Sat or Sun — like 7:30am)
– Play outside
– Go on an adventure somewhere (pet store, trampoline zone, new playground, friend’s house)
– Cook something
That’s it. If we accomplish all of those I consider it a perfect weekend. sometimes we also try and fit some laundry in, but it’s fine if we don’t.
Rainbow Hair says
We’re another family that does rotating sleeping in. My daughter knows to ask “who is the waker upper tomorrow?!” There’s often some gentle behind-the-scenes push/pull to try to get the Sleeper Inner spot the morning after a date :)
Saturday:
Waker Upper + Kiddo wake up between 6:00 and 6:45. Waker Upper turns cartoons on for Kiddo, arranges snacks, puts on coffee, lies on couch, regrets being Waker Upper.
Playing, arguing, getting dressed, waking up the Sleeper Inner.
8:30 leave for dance class.
10:30 home from dance class.
11ish Someone takes Kiddo to the park. [If I was the Waker Upper, I try to sneak in a nap here.] We’ve been working on texting the neighbors to bring their kids to the park/to our house to make it more fun.
12:30ish Kiddo returns from park [and wakes me up].
Snacks, cartoons, playing.
Around 3ish I do an art project or elaborate game (lately we do a lot of “clothing store” where we shop in her dress up box) or run a fun errand (Target! Fabric store!) with Kiddo.
Dinner (I cook one weekend dinner, sometimes we go to “the beerery” to eat from the food truck), cartoons, playing, etc.
7:15ish we start bedtime routine.
The only difference with Sunday is that there’s no dance class, and we’re unlikely to go out to eat. I will often take Kiddo to a coffee shop on Sunday for a date with a coloring book etc. (I know it looks cartoon heavy, but she has zero screen time during the week, so this is our compromise.)
GCA says
2 kids – DS is 3.5 and DD is 5 months. I like the baby to have a good morning nap, and she naps much better at home than at daycare; if she takes a solid 1h+ nap in the morning, the rest of the day seems much smoother. So that limits slightly what I can do, but it’s a lot of 1-on-1 parent-on-kid time. I figure our schedule will shift as the nap needs change. Luckily, DS no longer naps so we’re not scheduling around two kids’ worth of naps.
Saturday:
I get up with the kids (between 6-7am), change and feed the baby, throw together some breakfast, pack snacks for DS and get him ready for dance class (9am). Put baby down for her first nap.
Husband takes DS to his dance class and then they do the grocery run. While baby is napping I read/ get work done/ prep food for lunch and/ or dinner. If she resists her nap, I walk with her in the stroller for an hour and she usually conks out.
Husband and son come home, we play a bit, and have lunch. I have given up totally on quiet time, DS just bounces off the walls. We do ‘science experiments’ (these have become more and more like actual science experiments as he gets older, which delights me), sit and read, paint and so on. Baby takes another nap or two. Laundry goes somewhere in here.
At some point in the afternoon, I trade off workouts with husband (30min to 1h for each of us). If it’s nice out, I might take DS for a stroller run to get in some one-on-one quality time with him. I miss having solo time with him – I think it’ll be a lot easier to have one-on-one time with each child when baby no longer depends on me as her sole food source, hopefully in about 4-6 months.
Afternoon activity, eg. low-key playdate & dinner with neighbors, going to a playground, etc.
Dinner, kid tv, Skype with ILs.
Sunday:
Everyone wakes up between 6-7. I might sleep in a bit. Husband makes pancakes.
Morning family activity – pool or library. Baby and I might skip this if she needs a nap, then meet husband and son for lunch, usually burritos.
Afternoon at home. TV time with kid, baby naps, husband and I trade off work time or workout time.
Throughout the day I’ve usually prepped all the components of dinner – eg chop veggies during baby nap, put the chicken in the slow cooker, and so on.
Dinner. Entertain DS long enough to keep him from melting down before bedtime. The end.
Post-kid-bedtime, we collapse on the couch, have a beer or ice cream, and reconnect about the past week and the week ahead. Something like that.
Anon says
Saturday: I get up with the kids at 7
7-9: read books, have breakfast, play. Spouse wakes up around 8.
9-11: drive downtown, usually have coffee/pastries in a coffee shop, maybe go to the library or the art museum with the good children’s activity room (all this stuff, plus the music classes that come next, is in walking distance).
11-1: music classes for both kids. We each go into class with one kid, and then hang out while the other kid has their class.
1-4: drive home, lunch, toddler nap. Older kid either has a playdate or gets some screen time (although we have a rule that she has to play outside for a bit first). One parent usually gets some free time to exercise.
4-6: kids play together with one parent, in the house if cold, in the neighborhood park if it’s warm enough. Other parent cleans the house and cooks dinner.
6-6:30: dinner
6:30-7:30: older kid does 15 min piano practice. Each kid gets at least 15 minutes focused attention from a parent. If there’s enough time after that, kids play together with one parent while the other tidies up from dinner. Often they take a bath together
7:30-9: Bedtime routine, aka go the F to sleep.
Sunday: Basically the same. Spouse takes the wakeup, and we do swim classes in the morning and spend extra time swimming in the fancy JCC pool. We watch a movie together in the evening.
It’s very routine-driven at this point. We used to have more flexibility, but my toddler no longer naps outside the house, so at least one parent is stuck at home for the afternoon. I look forward to dropping the nap entirely so we can stay out of the house for the full day. But I enjoy the routine, too. I like having an activity each morning so that we definitely get out of the house. We consciously planned classes that work for the whole family. For us, this means music classes are in the nice downtown neighborhood where there is lots of other stuff to do, and swimming classes are at the JCC with the nice family pool and exercise center; I often spend my older kid’s class time swimming laps while spouse plays with the toddler in the family pool, and spouse often spends some time in the sauna. We rejected a lot of options that would involve driving to the suburbs and sitting in a waiting room for an hour while our kids did classes – fun for them, not for us.
Anon says
Off-topic, but “lie-in” is one of my favorite Britishisms and I wish people in the US would adopt it. Also I want a lie-in.
Anon says
This seems like a lot to me. I work A LOT during the week, and sometimes on the weekends, so I try to keep weekends pretty low key with my 18 month old and stick to (ideally) only one “big” activity (like a playdate, going out to eat, meeting up with friends, running errands, etc.) per weekend with a smaller activity the other day. A typical weekend looks like this:
Saturday
9AM – wake up, get DH and LO up and downstairs, feed LO breakfast, DH and I eat separate breakfasts, usually pretty low key.
10AM – groceries get delivered, so take time to put those away, do the dishes, clean up the kitchen and family room.
11 AM – 2 PM. LO plays with her toys, sesame street is usually on in the background, I sneak in a shower and we probably eat leftovers for lunch. I also run a few loads of my laundry and toddler’s laundry (mixed together) throughout the day; DH does his laundry during the week.
2PM – 4PM. Typically take LO outside to play or we go to an indoor playground or meet up for a playdate at the indoor pool.
4PM – 6PM. Naptime. LO either falls asleep in the car on the way back from activity or naps in her high chair post snack or if she’s really overtired we put her in the pack’n’play and let her CIO.
6PM-9PM. Dinner prep and cooking at home or we go out to dinner, depending on whether I feel like cooking or we have plans to meet up with friends.
9-10:30. DH and I watch TV while LO plays in the living room with her toys, sometimes she watches some sesame street to wind down. I may do some work during this time too if I need to.
10:30 – start bath time (LO gets a bath every 2-3 days in winter), jammies, 2 stories, 2 songs and off to bed by 11:00 or 11:30.
Sunday
10AM – Sleep in, get everyone up, get LO fed (she gets hangry!). I usually make a bigger brunch style breakfast for DH and I and LO nibbles. I usually try to make extra bread-products (biscuits, waffles, pancakes, whatever) for LO for the week.
Noon – DH and I alternate showers while the other supervises LO.
2PM-4PM – usually try for some activity again, even if it’s just collecting rocks in the cul-de-sac. LO usually skips lunch given her “second breakfast” during our brunch.
4PM-6PM – Naptime. We usually watch sports or I do a little work if needed.
6PM-9PM. Usually prep and cook dinner, with leftovers I can take for lunch 1-2 days a week.
9:30-10:30. Play and winddown-time. DH and I usually have the TV on. Watch like a hawk for the first eye-rub from toddler, at which point we all head upstairs for jammies, stories, songs and bed. I sometimes do some work from bed after LO (and sometimes DH) goes to sleep if I need to get something out.
Anon says
Your 18 month goes to bed at 11:30 pm!?! I thought I had a night owl because it’s a struggle to get her down much before 9 pm. How do you get up for daycare? Or do you have a nanny?
Anon says
My husband is a SAHD and I don’t get to work until 10 or 10:30. It will be a rude adjustment for her (and the rest of us) once she starts preschool, but for now we’re just rolling with it because it works for us and my later schedule (I rarely leave the office before 7 or 8 no matter how early I get in).
Anonymous says
Preschooler and infant. We used to alternate waking up withpreschooler and are just beginning to do that sometimes with infant. Baby wakes around 6:30, sometimes goes back to sleep on his own but usually not. Whoever was not up with him at night gets up – bottle feeding so could be either. Preschooler wakes at 7 on the dot and requires warm milk immediately. (Annoying but turns him into a civilized human.).on Sundays we video chat with family. Usually one of us goes out with preschooler either on an adventure (birdwatching is a big one) or to run errands while baby naps. If not, we’ll usyally do a family adventure, synagogue, or play date when baby wakes up. Lunch at home at 12, followed by baby nap and resting for kid — usually we just snuggle and read to him for 30 min or so, followed by a 30 min show. After that we work in the garden with him, do other chores together, go for a walk in the neighborhood, or meet friends at a park. PNW, so we do all this regardless of the weather. We take turns exercising or having down time or work timewhile baby naps. Laundry all day in the background. We have a house cleaner every 3 weeks and that allows us to do family stuff on the weekend. Baby naps again around 4, kid plays in the driveway with neighbors or inside with his toys. Dinner between 5:30-6; we often get take out one weekend day since we rarely go to restaurants these days. Kids asleep by 7:45 and realistically then we lie on the couch till bedtime.
Anonymous says
How did you tell your friends you were pregnant? I had this idea I would tell each of my close friends separately in person, but with busy schedules that has resulted in a few knowing and a few not. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but at this point (now at 14 weeks!) I just feel like sending out text messages. Thoughts?
Anonymous says
Just call the ones you haven’t been able to tell in person. Text something like, “hey i have exciting news i want to share, are you free for a phone call tonight at X?”
Anon says
I don’t live near my closest friends. My BFF Skyped me to tell me, but when I got pregnant I just texted her (and other close friends). But I really didn’t want to make a big deal about it and didn’t tell many people – I told our parents (who told extended family), my BFFs and work people who saw me every day. That was about it.
Anon says
I think that’s fine. I told some very close friends via text or email. In some cases because I knew they were trying as well and I had no idea if they were having any trouble conceiving, and I didn’t want to have them try to put on a happy face for me.
AwayEmily says
This is so thoughtful of you. A friend of mine told me in person she was pregnant after I had been trying for almost a year and it took all my willpower to offer sincere congratulations and then find an excuse to leave before bursting into tears.
Anon says
+1. During four years of infertility struggles, I was so very grateful to those who sent a text so I didn’t have to go through the motions of squealing and acting excited, all while trying not to cry. Some knew we were trying, some didn’t, but a text was SO much easier.
Bonus points to those friends who knew we had struggled and acknowledged it in their message. One friend said “I know this might be hard for you and however you feel is okay, but i wanted to share with you…”. I was and still am so touched, even now that we have our LO.
Anonymous says
Call them on the phone? A text is so impersonal.
Anon says
I think this a know your friends thing. No one I know makes voice calls anymore m. If my friend called me, I’d assume someone died. I’m a millennial but an old one (34).
Anonymous says
I’m 34 too and I agree most communication is text but I find it really sad and love a surprise phone call with news of an engagement or a baby.
Anon says
+1
anon says
Haha, whenever I call someone I usually text, I say really quickly, “Hey, everything’s good!” just so they know I’m not sharing death news.
CPA Lady says
^ same. I have a friend who helped me manage a huge family crisis a couple years ago, where someone (extremely elderly and seriously ill) actually did die. Ever since then, every time one of us calls the other we start the call with “no one died.”
Anon says
I’m 32 and we always call for “big” news – engagements, babies, etc. Bad news usually gets conveyed via text (deaths, cancer, sickness, accident, etc.)
Anon says
I just sent text messages.
Anon says
I’m only hurt when I found out via social media (which is more common than you think, even with people who otherwise appear to be close friends). A text or email is completely fine and, for me at least, preferable to a phone call that requires me to immediately gush. I’m genuinely happy for my friends, but I’m not a baby person and find it hard to do the over-the-top reaction that most people seem to expect, especially from fellow moms. And it’s even harder over the phone when the person can’t see that I’m smiling and look really happy.
TheElms says
I got lucky — I was seeing 2 of my 3 best friends in person at about 11 weeks so I told them then and while we were together we did a video call with the third bff. I then called 2 of my other 3 very good friends that weekend or early the next week and finally had a dinner with number 3 good friend about a week later. If it helps for context, those 6 were my bridesmaids. For all the still good friends, but less close, I sent emails or texts depending on the person. I managed to get it done in about a month and no one seemed upset, but my friends are pretty low key so ymmv.
AnonNC says
Not important but currently on my mind: we just adopted a dog. Should I give our babysitters a bit more per hour? If so, how much? Also, how much should I pay a babysitter of ours to dogsit (no kids) for a couple of hours? Same rate?
Anonymous says
No snark intended, but I don’t understand this question. You pay babysitters to watch your kids. What extra work are they doing because a dog is around? Maybe letting the dog in and out to do their business in a fenced yard? That doesn’t require enough effort to justify a charge. Unless you’re also asking them to take your dog for a walk with the kids? In which case, throw in an extra $5 or 10 and call it good.
What is the goal with “dogsitting” without kids? I have heard of dog-walkers, but not just going over to hang out with a dog so it isn’t lonely or unsupervised. I would think you pay a dog-walker price per hour, so if you’re asking your babysitter to take your dog for a walk, I’d pay whatever your going hourly rate is.
Anonymous says
Well, it’s actually quite a bit more work to need to get the kids all bundled up and take them outside on a walk.
Anonymous says
The amount of extra work is highly dependent on location (amount of bundling required), the age of the kids, and how much of a walk you expect. Even without a fenced yard, it’s not a huge ask for the babysitter to go outside with the dog on a leash for 5-10 min while the kids are inside either playing or asleep. My babysitters regularly do outside time including short walks to the neighborhood park with the kids if they’re sitting during daylight hours, so it would be a non-issue to have the dog outside with them. If we’re talking a half hour walk with 2 year old twins + dog in the Midwest this week, I agree, it’s a different story!
Anon says
I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving my kids alone in the house while I walked the dog unless the kids were quite a bit older than mine are, but we definitely let the dog out in an unfenced yard to do her business. It’s a backyard, so no traffic to run into, and we always keep our eyes on her and yell if she starts to do anything inappropriate.
Anonymous says
Oh, I mean in the yard with the dog on a leash, long enough to do her business. I might go around the block with my kids at home, but I certainly wouldn’t ask a babysitter to do that.
rosie says
If you are expecting the sitter to walk the dog, I think you need to pay them extra (maybe $10, which would be cheaper than a dog walker in our area–I think that’s ok since the sitter is already at your house/not their primary responsibility–and of course assuming they are ok w/it). If your kids are really little, you may need to have a separate dog walker from the person who is caring for your kids. If it’s just dogsitting/walking, I think you can negotiate a lower rate (although if a good sitter for your kids, I’d be prepared to pay the usual rate for goodwill).
IP Attorney says
Dog-sitting is absolutely a thing. We pay someone to sit for our dog while we’re out of town (before and after we had kids) – they stay in our apartment, hang out with our dog and cat, and take them on walks/feed them. We are paying them to be us while we’re gone. But the hanging out part is key. Our dog gets lonely when we’re gone…
Anon says
I think it’s pretty obvious that dogs can’t be alone while you go out of town. But she’s talking about dog-sitting for a “couple of hours” so obviously not when the family is out of town on a trip. I don’t know why you’d need dog-sitting (as opposed to dog walking) in that scenario.
AnonNC says
Dog isn’t ready to be unsupervised in the house without humans around, and I’m trying to get her some non-crate time.
Anonymous says
If I’m understanding correctly, you’re away from home for a long time on work days, and want someone to come let the dog out before you can make it home at 6pm.
This is the kind of thing I would either hire a mid-day dog-walker for, or just ask an older neighbor kid who comes straight home from school (if this is the same person as your babysitter, so much the better!) to stop by, take the dog for a walk, and spend an hour or so just hanging out in the house so the dog can practice its manners out of the crate. This sounds like an amazing deal and much less work than babysitting for a middle/high schooler, or even a late elementary kid, who could do their homework at your house while hanging out with the dog. I think you could offer $10-20 for an hour.
Anonymous says
How much dog care will you expect them to do? If they need to do walks and feeding I’d pay a bit more. Also make sure to check if they’re ok with dogs!
AnonNC says
Thanks! We don’t have a fenced-in yard so if the dog has to go out they have to take the dog for a short walk. And, yes, I definitely ask the babysitters if they’re OK with dogs!
Anon says
Is this a full-time nanny or an occasional evening babysitter? For an evening babysitter, we just walk and feed the dog before they arrive, so they don’t have to do any dog care, and I don’t offer any additional compensation. Obviously I make sure they’re ok with dogs.
AnonNC says
Occasional evening sitter. Yep, usually we walk and feed the dog before the babysitter arrives, so the babysitter wouldn’t have to do much. At most, the babysitter would take the dog out to the yard on a leash.
Anon says
Then I don’t think it’s necessary to offer any additional money.
anon says
It may be post-partum anxiety, but I am freaking out because I realized that we live in an older place, and I realized there’s a good chance it may have lead-based paint!! Should I get my kids tested?
Anon says
If your house was built before 1978 I would definitely mention it to your ped. Mine specifically asked what year our home was built.
Anon says
You can buy paint test kits from hardware stores. Not all old paint has lead in it, I also live in an older home but surprisingly all of the paint was lead-free. Plus unless the paint is peeling or the kids are chewing the woodwork, I wouldn’t worry much.
Anonymous says
THIS. My house was built in 1900 and there’s no lead paint. But of course, DH tested everything to be sure. The paint test kits are cheap and easy IIRC.
Anonymous says
Mention to your ped, but don’t freak out. I also live in an older house, but it has definitely been repainted (probably several times) since lead paint fell out of fashion. My understanding is that windowsills and other trimwork is usually the culprit of loose paint chips, so focus there if you want to do any testing in your home.
We live in a zip code that gets tested for lead anyway, and haven’t had any scary results.
Elle says
At my pediatrician, they do a screening for this. I can’t remember at which visit, but there’s a questionnaire that includes your zip code, age of your house, have you done any construction, other risk factors that I can’t remember and then they do a little finger prick. We qualify to get tested because of our zip code (known history of lead issues in the soil) and living in an older home.
Mama Llama says
If you live in a zip code with lead, they will get tested as a matter of course. We had our house tested and found lead paint under layers of new paint. As an extra precaution, I had the window trim in the kids rooms encapsulated. I asked the ped if we should take any other steps or do extra testing, and she said it wasn’t necessary.
Annie says
You should also be really really careful with chipped paint — that’s where the danger is, not the paint on the wall so clean up and repair/paint over any chipping paint immediately.
TheElms says
Depending on where you live you may have a lead water service line coming into the house. We do and I’m not exactly sure what I plan to do about it (7 months pregnant). Some people install whole house filters or filters on every tap. That seems like overkill to me but I plan to raise it with ped.
Anonymous says
I got mine tested at 1yr and will at 2 because my husband works in construction. So anything on his shoes could come into our house (even though he takes them right away). This was recommended by my ped. Our house was built in 1960 and I’m not concerned since it’s been repainted and we don’t let their be any peeling or chipped paint.
Patty Mayonnaise says
This is def something to be aware of! Especially if there’s any chipping or you’re planning to do any renovation work that might disturb lead paint (even if it’s under layers of newer paint).
Lana Del Raygun says
If you do find lead paint in your house, don’t sand or scrape it! You paint over it with a special paint that binds to the lead so it’s not bioavailable.
Double-Bingo says
I am way late with this, but in case you’re still following, I wanted to share our experience. We live in a 100 year old house and had done a fair amount of work right before DD was born. We had her tested for lead at 9 months, and it was elevated. It was super scary, and we did a bunch of remediation, bought special cleaning products, got obsessive about washing her hands, etc. We also started her on an iron supplement, which blocks/slows lead absorption. By her 12 month appointment (which is when her ped normally tests) it was within a normal range, and has stayed that way.
If I had it to do again, the big thing I would do (and will if we have a second) is start on iron fortified baby cereal around 4 months, or do an iron supplement in bottles starting then. I was committed to exclusive breastfeeding until 6 months, but apparently the iron level they’re born with starts to decline around 4 months, and she was a bit anemic as a result, making her more vulnerable to lead.
I highly recommend doing some home spray/wipe testing to identify any problem areas, for peace of mind and to know where to be careful. Having lead in your house does not automatically mean your child will have an elevated level, and elevated levels don’t necessarily lead to long term issues if you address it quickly. Best of luck!
Anonymous says
WWYD. My daughter is about ton enter kindergarten after 3 years of preschool. She’s had this one girl, A, in her class all 3 years. They play together at school. We have had A over for playsates over the years and (1) Im always the one to initiate and (2) I’m almost always the one to host (A’s mom will sometimes say “oh, it really is my turn to host…” in a way I can tell she’d rather not host but knows it’s her turn). When we have playdates at our house, A is whiney and annoying and my kid is obnoxious and doesn’t share well. My kid has enough play dates that I can tell it’s a personality mismatch.
So easy- stop hanging with A, right? Except A lives really close by and is the only kid my daughter will know when she enters K next year. We live in a weird pocket of town where all our other neighbors will go to a different elementary school, except A.
How do I/do I continue to encourage a good relationship without forcing “BFFs”? Or, are there ways to help them be actual friends? Or let it totally fizzle out even though they’ll ride the bus together until basically high school?
Anon says
Let it fizzle out. There’s no reason they have to be close friends in high school just because they were neighbors as children. They’ll both meet a ton of new kids in K, and hopefully make new friendships that are better suited to them and there’s no reason they can’t ride the bus together as mere classmates/acquaintances.
Fwiw, I had a relationship like your daughter & A when I was in preschool (same age next door neighbor whose mom babysat me, so we were more like siblings than friends). We went our separate ways as soon as we could in elementary school but in high school we found ourselves in the same general “crowd” and hung out peacefully but weren’t close. We’ve reconnected as adults and become closer. There’s no need to force anything, especially with such a big transition coming up.
Anonymous says
This.
Anonymous says
Stop hosting playdates and let it fizzle out naturally.
Spirograph says
I think you can let this friendship die a natural death, or keep going without your direct involvement. Only 2 kids in my son’s daycare are in his elementary school, and neither of them is in his class. He sees them at recess and after care, but I have the impression that he doesn’t play with them too often. He’s made new friends, and it’s fine. K is going to be a huge adjustment regardless of whether or not there one friendly face in the crowd at the new school.
In general, I don’t see a lot of point in play dates with friends the kids see at school all day…that’s just extra work for me. If you don’t enjoy hosting this girl, stop inviting her!
c-section angst says
I need to have a c-section and I’m feeling sad about it. I’m worried about the recovery and also about the scar and the dreaded c-section pouch/overhang thing. Is the latter the norm, even among thin women? Is there anything you can do to avoid it or is it just some combination of your genetics/surgical technique?
My first child was born naturally with no epidural, so I am comforting myself with the fact that I already got to experience that type of birth, and now I will get to experience something very different. I do feel very grateful that c-sections are an option so that I can deliver my child safely into the world.
But any stories/advice on how to make myself feel better about this outcome would be appreciated! I am not really worried about the pain of recovery, more just the feeling weak and helpless for weeks after, and the long-term effects of not liking the way my body looks as a result of the surgery.
Anon says
I thought everyone had the pooch? I had one vaginal birth (and didn’t have DR according to my OB) and I still have more of a pooch than I did pre-baby.
Scheduled Cs are way different than urgent, unplanned Cs which are different than true emergency baby-has-to-get-out-now Cs. Everyone I know who had a scheduled C felt like themselves within a week or two and gushed about how easy the whole process was. I think it’s normal to be sad, but I’m sure everything will go smoothly.
Lana Del Raygun says
With a section, a lot of women get a kind of flap (“apron”) that hangs down over the scar. I think it’s more loose skin than DR.
Anonymous says
If you really hate your body, you can get a tummy tuck. It will all be fine.
Anon says
My c-section scar is not at all noticeable at 18 months PP – my scars from my emergency gallbladder removal at 6 weeks PP are way more noticeable. I have a bit of a pouch, overhang thing but I think that’s a post-baby thing since I’m carrying more weight in my stomach than I used to, not tied to the c-section (and I had it when I gained weight before getting pregnant too, just not to the same degree). My first was a c-section, so I don’t know anything different, but recovery was fine. I slept in a recliner the first 2 weeks because it is hard to get out of bed, but you could also just pile pillows behind you to make getting out of bed easier. You will have lifting restrictions for a few weeks – nothing heavier than the baby. You will not be able to drive until you are no longer taking prescription pain meds – for me that was about a week during the day and the second week I used tylenol and advil during the day and the prescription just at night. Carseat + baby was a bit much, so I needed someone to go with me to run errands the first two weeks – after that I was comfortable moving the carseat from the base to the click-in-stroller right next to the door. As for feeling weak and helpless, because mine was a planned C (sounds like yours will be too), I didn’t really experience that – I didn’t have 2 days of laboring plus a surgery, it was just a surgery. I was taking (very short) walks around outside the neighborhood within a week or two. I was taking daily showers unassisted the first week. I guess it loses some of the “magic”, but I found it kind of nice to know exactly what was going to happen when. My subsequent deliveries will all be c’s too, and frankly I’m pretty happy with that – it’s quick, relatively safe and definitely the safest way for me to deliver a child given my other health conditions.
c-section angst says
Thank you all so much for your replies! They’ve seriously made me feel so much better. I really appreciate it.
CPA Lady says
It sounds like you think you’ll be horribly disfigured or something? FWIW, I don’t have the overhang at all. But even if I did, it would not be visible to anyone, even if I were wearing a bikini. The incision is very far down, about where my p&bic hair starts. Random tip– it’s actually good to get a bit of a clean up wax before you go in to deliver, because otherwise the nurse will shave you with clippers. (I prefer a wax to shaving, ymmv.)
A lot of the c-section recovery horror stories come from people who had emergency c-sections after hours of contractions, pushing, stalled labor, not eating, and then have emergency surgery. A planned c-section is generally very calm and easy in comparison to an emergency one. From when they wheel you into the OR til when the baby is out is about 15 minutes. It was so easy. I felt back to normal within a week. I was actually shocked by how normal I felt. I did get tired easily, but I didn’t feel “weak and helpless”. Just take it as easy as possible, ask your partner for additional help with the older one, see if your mom (or other helpful relative) can come stay with you, definitely keep sending your older kid to school, and rest and snuggle the baby. You will be fine!
And I’m sorry this isn’t the outcome you wanted. That’s a hard thing to have to deal with.
blueridge29 says
I agree with everything CPA Lady wrote. I have had 2 scheduled C-sections, back to normal in 1 week, no overhang issues, and the scar is very low/not visible in a bikini. One tip, I found it helpful to back off on the narcotic pain medication after the first few days. It helped me from physically overdoing it, because you would feel the pain, which reminded me not to lift things that were too heavy or attempt too many tasks.
I am also sorry this isn’t the outcome you wanted and wish you a quick recovery.
Anon says
I had a planned C-section and a very easy recovery. I don’t recall feeling weak or helpless – I had to ignore the 10 lb lifting restriction since LO was more than that at birth. I was exhausted, but I don’t know that I was more exhausted than I otherwise would have been. My scar is no longer visible and don’t have the overhang. It was great to be able to have out-of-town grandparents know when to plan to arrive for the birth. I was only on Rx painkillers for a week, OTC pain meds after. No issues breastfeeding. Wore a postpartum corset-thingy from Day 3 on, was not painful (actually felt good) to have some light compression.
Two Cs says
Yep, I had an emergency C-section with my first after 40 hours of labor, and then a planned repeat C-section with my second. Honestly, neither recovery was awful, but the second was definitely easier.
Mama Llama says
I have an overhang, but I was fat before I got pregnant. It has not impacted my life or activities at all.
FVNC says
With the usual caveat that everyone’s experience is different, I will tell you: I’ve had two c-sections, each with a very easy recovery. I have a relatively small scar, and a flat stomach. Contrast that to my mother, who also had two c-sections. She is very, very thin, but for years had the pooch you describe and still has a very noticeable scar. I would guess that surgical techniques have improved tremendously in the 40 years since my mother’s first c, which likely accounts for the differences in our (my mother’s and my) physical appearances. My experience has been pretty typical of my friends who have also had c-sections. Good luck, and I hope your delivery and recovery goes perfectly!
Anna says
You will be okay! I didn’t find the recovery from my c section much worse than what friends described from their vaginal deliveries. Within 3 days I was taking short neighbourhood walks, and by 6 weeks, back to my regular workouts. It wasn’t fun, but the recovery happened quickly.
In House Lobbyist says
My planned c section was so much better than an emergency one. The recovery was much easier. Everyone is so calm and pleasant with a planned one.
Legally Brunette says
I had a c-section with my first (emergency) and had a flat stomach about 4 months later. I had a VBAC with my second and now have a definite pooch. It’s funny, I always associate a pooch with a vaginal delivery but that’s just based on my own experience. You can try wearing a girdle (Bellefit is a popular brand) as soon as you deliver, although personally I would never do that because it’s so sensitive in that area after birth. But lots of women do it and have had good results. You can also wait and wear the girdle a week or so after and see if that helps. There are girdles especially designed for those who had had c-sections.
Lucky says
I had an unexpected c-section (and was very upset about it!), and my LO is 14 months. The scar is really low, and mine won’t be visible with a bikini. My scar is almost entirely invisible now, but I think that is more of a function of my pale/red undertone skin tone. I have an athletic build, and my “overhang” eventually went away on its own within about 3-4 months–a lot of it was just due to the extra weight from pregnancy, so when I lost that, I lost the pouch. I didn’t exercise, but I ate relatively healthy and was nursing. I think a lot of that, though, is due to genetics and the surgical technique/how they close the incision (I had internal stitches). I did also wear a Belly Bandit to help everything “shrink” back, but I honestly don’t know if that had anything to do with it or if it was just genetics. I do highly recommend the Belly Bandit or other post-partum compression band for a c-section, though, because it helped my core feel a lot more stable. There are also specific c-section underwear, but I didn’t try those. Also highly recommend high-waist leggings in addition–that combo went a long way in making me feel stable and a lot less nervous about putting stress on the incision.
I was incredibly upset about my c-section at the time (it was due to fetal distress, and I was absolutely terrified of surgery), so I completely understand how disappointed you feel–but recovery really wasn’t too bad for me, and I am pleased with how my body looks now for the most part. I think the worst part of recovery was trying to get out of bed for the first week, but the worst passed pretty quickly.
You will do great! Congratulations on your little one!
Anonymous says
Gently, as someone who had a c-section, I find this attitude among some women hugely offensive. The goal is to come out with a healthy child and healthy mom. Period.
Anon says
I didn’t want to say this, because it sounded harsh, but I really agree. I highly recommend checking out Pinch of Yum for some perspective on this. She lost her first son (he was born at ~24 weeks and passed away soon after) and she had a scheduled c-section with her daughter, since it was unsafe for her to labor again after her emergency c-section. In a post kindly asking people not to give her medical advice on her c-section, she said something like (I’m paraphrasing): I know this might not be your preferred scenario, but for us any scenario where we leave the hospital together with a living baby is the preferred scenario.
I also find the term “natural birth” off-putting. All birth is natural regardless of how the baby comes out or what drugs the mom takes. You had an unmedicated birth.
anon says
omg just went to read her posts about the loss of her son and i should not be reading that at work because i am now sitting here trying not to bawl.
Anon says
Yeah sorry, I should have posted some kind of warning. It’s heartbreaking. It’s so so so sad what happened and she writes absolutely beautifully and honestly about it.
c-section angst says
I am sorry for offending you. I tried to say it in my post, but maybe it didn’t come through — I am really grateful for the fact that I do have the ability to have a c-section, and hopefully it goes well.
I had a feeling someone would jump down my throat about the use of the word “natural” — it’s not what i would say in real life, I would use the medically correct term of a V delivery but I wasn’t sure if the V word would be censored out of my post.
2:26 PM Anon says
That is a sweet reply. The part that makes me defensive is in your second paragraph it feels like you have the opinion that vaginal births (and, admittedly unfairly on my part, those who have them) are superior. Talking about experiencing that type of birth along with your sadness makes it feel like c-section moms experience something inferior. This might not have been your intention, but there are definitely people who will put that out there, so it can be hard not to assume and get defensive about it. No matter the type of birth, at the end of the day, we’re all mommas who are totally and completely changed by our birth and love our children to no end. I feel like in no time you’ll look back on your c-section and will in no way differentiate it emotionally from your vaginal birth. I, too, am on team easy recovery and team all pooch is due to my lack of self-control and not my c-section. Best wishes for a smooth delivery and a healthy baby.
aelle says
I get you. I had a planned C-section as well, it was the only way for both of us to survive the birth, but I still had a lot of feelings when I learned I would need one. With time, I got really really angry at the natural birth movement and how it had, deliberately or not, made me feel awful about my birth, even though it was the best birth possible given my physiology.
Also, I had a worse recovery than most, not strictly because of the c-section itself but because of the condition that lead to it (I had a low lying placenta, requiring the surgeons to cut through the placenta. I lost a lot of blood, needed packing in my uterus, was forbidden to stand up until 48 hours after the birth, and needed about 6 weeks to sit up unaided) and still, it was not nearly as bad as I had been lead to believe. I would elect for a c-section in the future if given the choice.
FP says
Please don’t be afraid of the c-section. I had two (elective!! judge away) planned c-sections and it was one of the best things I have done for myself and my body. My babies were healthy and I felt like myself again within a week or two. Planned/scheduled c-sections are very safe, controlled, and far easier on your body than unplanned ones.
Anon says
Lol on judge away. Mine was technically elective but because I’m old with high blood pressure and gestational diabetes and always had low fluid my dr said she would let me push if I really wanted to, and when I said no, she said she was so glad I went that route.
To the OP, the first day was rough. The nurse let me keep the catheter in that night (baby was born in am) so I didn’t have to get up to pee. That was a plus. But yeah, as several people here said, I was surprised how quickly I felt better. I was back to myself in about 5 days honestly. My scar and tummy is flat – there was a bit of puffiness there for maybe 4 months and then it all went away. I did exercise during pregnancy and due to the gestational diabetes couldn’t eat anything fun so didn’t gain much weight – could be that or could be as someone pointed out drs have gotten better at scar reduction.
Anonymous says
Ask for glue instead of the staples! Everyone I know who had staples had some annoyance with them or had them get infected, but they used skin glue on me and I had no complications and the scar is completely white and flat.
Lana Del Raygun says
I am going to differ from most of the other commenters and say that I did feel weak and helpless for quite a while! I still do to some extent — I’m 12 weeks pp now and I’m still not back to my pre-pregnancy casualness with hefting toddlers and laundry baskets, when before pregnancy I was close to squatting my bodyweight. I was pretty skinny before and I only have a tiny overhang, fwiw. The stretch marks make a *much* bigger difference to my appearance!
My advice is to take ALL your pain meds (and stool softeners!) religiously and try to walk around as soon as you can but don’t push yourself to *exercise*. Roll onto your side to sit up in bed instead of sitting straight up. Twisting, like to pick the baby up from her bassinet next to my bed, was basically impossible at first. But it does get better. Give yourself grace. :)
ElisaR says
My first c healed perfectly. It was an unplanned C and you could barely see the scar unless I showed it to you. My second c was planned and healed horribly. I have the flap. I don’t think you can predict how it will go is my point…. (I was super bummed about having them too but since the alternative is bad news for the mom and/or baby…. I focus on the fact that we are lucky we have the option.)
c-section angst says
I need to have a c-section and I’m feeling sad about it. I’m worried about the recovery and also about the scar and the dreaded c-section pouch/overhang thing. Is the latter the norm, even among thin women? Is there anything you can do to avoid it or is it just some combination of your genetics/surgical technique?
My first child was born naturally with no epidural, so I am comforting myself with the fact that I already got to experience that type of birth, and now I will get to experience something very different. I do feel very grateful that c-sections are an option so that I can deliver my child safely into the world.
But any stories/advice on how to make myself feel better about this outcome would be appreciated! I am not really worried about the pain of recovery, more just the feeling weak and helpless for weeks after, and the long-term effects of not liking the way my body looks as a result of the surgery.
Brir says
Ask about something called a TAP block. It’s an anesthesia technique that provides local pain relief around your incision. I had an urgent c-section without labor and I legitimately felt no abdominal pain for 24 hours, then the next days were fairly mild pain (like a post-workout soreness). I took no prescription pain meds and had no difficulty getting around or getting out of bed. It is important to move as much as possible. I have a little overhang but I am very fat and it has improved by 14 weeks.
Anon says
Did you do iron testing for your infants? My 11 month old has been on an iron supplement + general multi-vitamin since ~6 months, but we’ve been a bit inconsistent about it (skip it when we travel, etc) and have recently cut back to half a dose because a full dose makes her incredibly constipated. She’s a good solids eater, but we don’t eat red meat at home and she hates eggs, so I’m not sure her iron needs are really being met. I don’t think our ped does iron testing as a matter of course, but I’m thinking about requesting it at her 12 month appointment since sufficient iron is so important for brain development.
Anon in NYC says
No, I never did. My kid didn’t eat meat until she was probably close to a year old (just her preference), so we added spinach to frittatas or smoothies, and fed her a lot of beans (black beans and chickpeas were her faves). Quinoa and broccoli are also decent sources of iron. Maybe you can mix some quinoa with a sauce (tomato sauce?) so it sticks together and she can pick it up.
Anonymous says
Our pediatrician did it routinely, so we did. (I’m in NYC too and we lived in an old, poorly maintained rent stabilized apartment so was all for it).
Anonymous says
Routine at our ped’s office, too. I think testing at 12 mos might be the “official” recommendation. We did Poly-vi-sol for quite a while with no ill effects. She grew out of it and now we do a non-iron gummy multivitamin.
Anon says
Yes, and both of my (breastfed) kids were low. My second was a great eater so I thought for sure he’d be fine, but he was actually *very* low. Supplementation for a few months worked for both kids. Based on my experience, your kids would need to eat cans of beans and cartons of eggs to bring up a low iron level (mine ate an egg a day and frequent red meat and that wasn’t even enough). So I guess you could just make him eat bags of spinach and take your chances, but the blood test is a simple way to know for sure.
Lily says
My kid had his 12 month well check last week during which the nurse tested for iron level. He was at 10 and the target level is 10.5. We have supplemented with iron supplement since he was 4 or so months. Now we are giving him a little more iron than we used it. My kid hated polyvisol and my husband hates the taste too. So. We are giving him nova ferrum.
Anon says
Was it just a heel stick? We’ve had to do IV blood draws for some other things and they’ve been beyond horrible because they couldn’t get the needle in her vein. But I would really like the peace of mind that the half supplement is working, or to know that we need to go back up to the full supplement and deal with the constipation.
As someone mentioned above, I think it’s almost impossible to get enough iron from food without iron-fortified cereal or formula. I did the math and it was like, 20 eggs or 10 adult servings of broccoli (or various combinations of those and other foods) per day…but, like, no baby is eating that much! It’s insane. I have a kid who is big for her age and eats a LOT and she eats a small fraction of that.
Lily says
It was finger tip poke.my kid has been on iron fortified formula since 7 months, iron fortified cereal and iron supplement, still he had low iron!
rakma says
We had to do bloodwork at 1yr and 2yr checkups, and went to the hospital lab for blood draws. They are so experienced and skilled that the worst part of the whole thing is getting the kid to lay down.
Both my kids ended up anemic at that 1yr check up, we did iron supplements, 1st kid needed them again after 2, second kid had normal iron levels at the 2yr check up.
anon says
this is probably a dumb question, but it just occurred to me that my twins will be crawling into the summer months when it is too warm to dress them in pants, so do babies just crawl around in shorts/onesies and get bruises on their knees/legs? one of mine is more of an army crawler so she is also on her arms and we live some place warm so soon it will get too hot for long sleeves
Anonymous says
Mine crawled around with bare legs all summer and never got bruises.
Anon says
My DD crawled all over our house in just a onesie and never got any bruises. We don’t really let her crawl in public but I don’t know why it would result in bruises.
Anonymous says
Opposite of the previous comments, but my kid is army crawling in long pants and long sleeves (Midwest winter!) and she occasionally gets bruises on her knees (the main areas of our house have hardwood floors). The bruises don’t seem to bother her at all and definitely haven’t slowed her down!
AwayEmily says
Mine crawls around in long pants and gets bruises anyway. I imagine some kids just bruise more easily?
Anonymous says
It depends a lot on the floors. My kid crawled entirely on carpet and tumbling mats. No bruises, maybe a few rug burns.
Anonymous says
They’ll be fine. And also, if they’re crawling now they probably won’t be crawling all summer :-)
mascot says
You are entering the bruise phase once they get mobile- it really ramps up when they start walking. I remember telling our daycare teachers that we swore we weren’t mistreating our child when he was covered with bruises on his arms, legs and face. They told us that those are all expected places because kids run into everything and trip constantly. They said worry more when they see unexplained bruises on the torso.
RR says
They may or may not get bruises from crawling, but honestly once they start walking, kids just always have bruises. Some more than others of course–both of my daughters are more accident-prone than my son. Good news is it never seems to bother them.
shortperson says
a friend gave us these cute “crawlings” kneepads. i realized daycare was putting my kid in school pants to go outside so we brought them in to school for our summer crawler.
aelle says
Mine crawled bare-legged on all sorts of surfaces and didn’t mind. She quickly developped thicker skin on her knees. My friend’s same age baby did not like the feeling of grass on her knees and learned to crawl on her elbows and tiptoes, in a sort of downward dog position
Parent Fail says
So, here’s a good one for you all. My daughter turned three this fall. When she was around 10 months, we were concerned she might be having a reaction to eggs. She coincidentally (?) threw up after eating them multiple times. Our Ped said to just hold off for a while before trying again, but wasn’t too concerned. It could have been coincidence or a small reaction. Anyway, we learned within a few months, that all was okay, but she’s not the biggest fan of eggs anyway. Maybe a few bites here and there before she turns her nose up at them. Fast forward to now. We had never informed her daycare that eggs are okay. For 2.5 years, they’ve been operating under the belief that she is allergic and can’t have them. Gave them a call today to straighten it out. Oy :(
GCA says
Oh man. Better than the other way around, though!
Anonymous says
This isn’t a parenting fail. It’s like the opposite. A parenting fail if you forgot to tell them she’s allergic to eggs.
ElisaR says
true!
Redux says
Not sure how verbal your kid is but mine tells everyone she is allergic to kiwi even though she is not. She just doesn’t like kiwi! Our latest playdate hosts offered her kiwi and then felt terrible to learn that she was allergic. I had to explain that no, I didn’t forget to tell you about my child’s allergy, she’s just… lying. I think she internalized that kids in her class have allergies and so are not served certain foods. Not wanting to be served kiwi, she made the leap that she is allergic. We can’t talk her out of it!
anon says
DC area moms – suggestions on where to go for pregnancy care? I’m 39, generally healthy, lean a little crunchy, work downtown and live off the orange line, and completely overjoyed about this pregnancy. Anyone have a provider that they love? Comments on the GW midwives? Or on the Midwife and Physicians Collaborative in VA? Thank you!
Anonymous says
I went to the OBs at GW. The midwives at GW only accept low-risk pregnancies so I’m not sure if they accept women over 35. I loved the OBs at GW – particularly Dr Valentine and Dr Nelson. I liked that the practice was really unified in treatment and beliefs so I didn’t get a vastly different experience between any OB. The hospital experience was very supportive of an Unmedicated birth and was pretty hands off until they had to catch the baby. I had a super straightforward low risk pregnancy though and easy delivery. FYI though they are a teaching hospital (it’s how the world makes new doctors!) so there will be a few more people in attendance at your delivery which I didn’t care about when the moment came and they say is generally the case. A resident delivered my baby but there were 2 attending physicians in the room because there was nothing else going on at the time.
anon says
Thank you! Good point about their only accepting low-risk, and, thanks for the names of your favorite OBs!
Anonymous says
Hey anon, not sure if you’re still checking this, but I second the GW MFA. I saw the OBs, not the midwifes, for two pregnancies, but they all follow the same general philosophy which is extremely up to date on the most recent findings about what is best for baby and mother. I rarely had to wait at my apts, was usually in and out quickly, and generally liked everyone I saw. And when I unexpectedly had a major medical event a few hours after my routine pregnancy, labor, and delivery, they did a phenomenal job treating me- the room filled within minutes of drs, nurses, and a complete care team.