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Sales of note for 3.28.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything plus extra 20% off purchase
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- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
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- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off entire site
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all swim; up to 30% off HannaJams
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; 50% off select swim; 50% off kids’ styles
- Old Navy – 50% off Easter deals
- Target – 20% off Easter styles for all; up to 30% off kitchen & dining; BOGO 50% off shoes & slippers for the family;
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
CPA Lady says
Have any of y’all read that article “This New Pandemic Phase Is More Stressful Than Lockdown”? It’s on scary mommy and ya hoo. It resonates SO MUCH, and I wanted to recommend it. She does such a good job describing the mental and emotional roller coaster of the last few months and the decision fatigue a lot of us have at this point.
anne-on says
The au pair visa thing is just the straw that broke the camels back for me. It is officially impossible to plan. I cannot get an out of country au pair. There is a bidding war for in-country au pairs. I’ve spoken with 3 nanny agencies and all confirmed there is FIERCE competition and fewer nannies available as some are uncomfortable with sitting, and older adults (50’s-60’s) are opting not to work for personal health reasons or because they are caring for even older parents. Grandparents aren’t an option for us (and many!) due to health and we STILL have no clear way to plan for school in the fall as nobody has committed to one.
I was in tears and SO MAD last night because all of my first, second, and now third options for help are gone or uncertain, and I don’t think it has sunk in to my husband how bad this is. I am SO angry at the institutional failures that have deemed childcare a ‘nice to have’ but not a necessary service. It looks like I’m either going to be forced to take unpaid time off (and pray my job is held for me) or quit. This is going to set women back a generation. And we’re able to afford me taking time away! My heart breaks for the families who are barely scraping by and making these same decisions with even fewer resources
Realist says
SAME. I mean, not the au pair thing, I have essentially given up on help and have scaled my hours and income way back. But all the feelings? SAME, SAME, SAME. I remember crying on the couch in March at the prospect of not having childcare for a year or so, and I don’t think I was wrong. I cried happy tears yesterday morning at the realization that my child may be old enough for sleep away camp next summer and that maybe they could actually go and I would get a whole week to myself. Then I felt guilty that I was so delighted in the thought of not being with my child every waking minute for a week NEXT SUMMER. I’m exhausted and I miss yoga, restaurants, working, and our routine. And I’m lucky. We can afford for me to scale back, etc. So much rage right now.
XStitcher says
I agree that this new phase is more stressful. I’m a family law attorney in a rural area with a very low number of cases and EVERYTHING has opened back up. Litigation is back up and running full speed. Daycares never closed, but the rules for sick kids have changed. Kids cannot be there for 3 days after any symptoms. My 15 month old gets a runny nose every time she has a tooth coming in. So, I have to keep her home for the days her nose is actually runny and for 3 days after it stops. But I’m still looking at a calendar full of court appearances and messages from irate clients that I’m not responding quickly enough or have to move their court date last minute due to my kid’s illness. This is so much harder than when everything was shut down.
Leatty says
Thanks for sharing – this article resonates so much with me. We kept our toddler home for a few months when the pandemic first hit our area, but finally caved and sent her to daycare earlier this month. Now, cases in our area are rapidly rising, but I can’t come to terms with pulling her out of daycare (even if that is the safest course of action). And if we had to pull her out, we’d need a full time nanny, but DH and I are both working from home for the foreseeable future, and we found it very hard to work from home with her here. And we don’t want to lose our treasured daycare spot since it was so hard to get into, which means that we would be paying a small fortune for childcare. Then there’s the added complication of me being 7 months pregnant, which means we will need to pull her out for a few weeks prior to my due date to reduce the risk that I’m COVID+ when I deliver. Plus, we can’t rely on grandparents for childcare help like we ordinarily would because they were recently diagnosed with some significant health issues. Oh, and we have to have some significant work done to the house before the baby is born. I’m just so over this pandemic, so over 2020, and so very tired of trying to make the “right” decision in response to an impossible situation.
Anon4This says
Hi there – in similar boat. I’m pregnant (due in December), we’re moving into our forever home this weekend/next week, cases are going nutzo where we live (major TX city), AND we just pulled DS out of daycare.
He was there for a lovely 2 weeks again before we heard some rumors of a sick teacher who was COVID+, and NOTHING official from the school, which is unusual for them and also frustrating AF. They also have not responded to an email I sent yesterday asking about any additional news/protocols given the surge here.
I remember someone posting on the site “no one is coming to save us” and it definitely feels that way. Our Governor, once again, is telling everyone to stay home and yet not issuing ANY order. I’m no expert, but I absolutely think having a nationwide shut down and slow re-opening would have been much better than this.
Anon says
I’m also in TX and just saw a headline that as of June 3, our lovely governor had gotten rid of ALL covid rules for daycares, but just reimplemented them due to the surge.
Anon4This says
Yup. I saw the daycare restrictions being relaxed through a FRIEND RANDOMLY POSTING -because of course there were 0 headlines. Fortunately our daycare never relaxed the protocols, likely because of their location in a major city. Unfortunately, because people are people, there have still been cases.
I really hope Governor A. loses his next re-election due to his bungled response, but they seem to love him in the rural areas. We have great local leadership (who have had their hands tied by the Governor), and I KNOW ultimately (my bet is by next week) the Governor will defer to localities for Stay At Home part II orders so the local officials (in my case, both happen to be leaders of color) will take any flack from the ultra-conservative.
Realist says
That was me posting “no one is coming to save us.” It is going to take a long time for working women to recover from this, and it is not like we were in the best position in the BEFORE times. I am just so angry and frustrated. And I just circle round and round that we did this to ourselves. Places like New Zealand elected Jacinda. And we elected . . . *points in anger at GOP leadership of country*
Anon4This says
I’ve thought about that statement a lot over the last weeks. I mean of course low-income/vulnerable communities will continue to be crushed by the health/economic ramifications of COVID-19. As for us privileged, working women…I agree it will take a while to recover. I think society generally does not value women’s work, the need for dependable childcare, etc.
And agreed re GOP leadership. Although I have more hope that a mediocre white man can beat our current POTUS than an brilliant white woman because…America.
Realist says
Same. I’ve been sitting with the “No one is coming to save us” in my head (one reason for posting) because it just sums up so much. And there is some discomfort in it because a lot of populations have been sitting there needing help for a long time, and I’m realizing that I didn’t care enough that no one was coming to save them when they really needed saving (even though at the time I thought I cared, I really didn’t because I wasn’t helping as much as I could have). And now it is me.
Anon says
Realist: “No one is coming to save us” is a bit dramatic. There are people at all levels of government and in the private and nonprofit sector who are trying to solve problems related to the pandemic. Yes, it will take time and yes the situation is grim and yes some people suffer more than others and yes not everyone in leadership roles is competent. But your statement sounds like a whiny teenage girl, not a grown woman who understands that life is not always fair.
Realist says
Anon you have repeatedly attacked me on this site. We see the world different. Accept that and please move on when you see my comments. I
Realist says
Oh, are you GOP Anon? If so, real sorry that a grown woman chooses to support a party that supports Nazis that put us in this whole mess to begin with. The GOP just placed ads with Nazi symbolism this week. Children in American concentration camps died dis week. America has had 25% of Covid deaths for only 4% of global population. If you think my righteous anger over this sounds like the whining of a teenage girl, that says a lot more about you and your Good German attitude than it does about me. I can’t make you stop trolling my comments, but I think you should and use that time for some personal growth. Peace.
Anon says
Okay, so I’m 6 months pregnant with my first child and this chain is officially scaring the pants off of me. We planned to have a nanny (after my 3 months mat leave) – should we already be looking? NYC burbs. We have no family nearby, so we definitely need childcare. I assumed now was too early to be looking given that we don’t need someone to start until January, but now that sounds like I’m very wrong.
NYCer says
It is too early to start looking for a nanny that will start in January. No one will want to wait around for 6 months before starting work. I don’t know what suburb you’re in, but you could join the local moms f-book group now just to get a sense of things. FWIW, I do think there are far more nannies available in the NYC metro area than other parts of the country.
Anon from 9:47am says
Thank you for the reassurance!
I’m in Rockland County, NY – about 20 miles north of NYC as the crow flies. I looked for local FB moms groups and didn’t see anything, but will check again!
Anon says
my DH grew up in Rockland, I don’t know that it is an area with the same nanny culture as other suburbs of NYC, but since you are so close to parts of NJ, I would maybe also find local FB moms group for the closest NJ areas
Anon from 9:47am says
That’s a great tip about NJ – thank you! I’ll do that.
Wilder says
I grew up in Rockland now across in Westchester. If you have a burner email I can check around for some resources. Plus share other local tips.
Anon from 9:47am says
Thank you, Wilder!
anonymek102 at the mail of google
anne-on says
Yes, this – we are in a suburb of a HCOL area, but not NYC, which has an overall higher pool of nannies. Also my son is school age, so we are looking for part time help (~20 hours) which is much harder to find. To add to my frustration, after school activities/programs are likely closed in the fall even if schools are open. Because clearly, all parents are now going to magically be able to stop work at 2:30/3pm to pick up there kids (we also are not sure if school buses will run in the fall).
Anonymous says
Yup. And basically the federal government has thrown up their hands and left the decisions in the hands of the individuals. So we’re all deciding our own risk levels and precautions to take. These things vary WILDLY between towns, counties, states, and regions. Which is why the infection control is barely working. I think if the entire country had been told explicit instructions and been forced into a very extreme lockdown for a shorter period of time we’d had been better off. But here we are.
Anon says
+1. If I had known what I know now (that here in CA we would end up being in lock down for like 3 months, and now opening is a cluster everywhere) I would have been strongly in favor of extreme lockdown for 3 weeks in March to just hopefully have taken care of this and move on. But here we are. (Not sure if that plan would’ve even been feasible but I’m going to pretend it was).
Anonymous says
It wasn’t. We did a very extreme lock down. People still need to get food.
Anon says
Well, I think in Italy for example and I’m pretty sure in China people weren’t even allowed to exercise etc. outside. I know that sounds miserable… but could we have done it for 3 weeks? So, for example, our kids could actually go to school this Fall? Knowing what I know now I would’ve voted yes. There were a lot of “essential” things that I think could have been given the side eye in retrospect. Again, for a short, 3 week period of time. But who knows if it would have made enough of a difference.
Anon says
I will be the voice of dissent here – I think precisely because conditions vary wildly between different parts of the country, region-specific measures make a lot of sense to me. Our restrictions are loosening because we’re definitely on a downward trend; I would expect AZ, Florida, Texas, etc. to start tightening restrictions because they are on the upswing.
Anon says
I completely agree. I would like better leadership from the White House but I believe responses should vary across the country. Clearly, not every town, city, and state is the same.
Anon says
except, as someone who lives in one of those states (TX), it is actually scary relying on the state level government who is bff with Trump and similarly refusing to issue mask orders or close things back up, etc. i live in a city where as of this past Monday you had to wear masks in businesses – well when I went to the supermarket on Saturday I counted 30+ people not wearing masks. it is a hot mess here
Leatty says
+ 1
Floridian here. I have no confidence in our state (or even local) leadership’s ability to control this. Cases are skyrocketing, the governor has publicly stated that we won’t be closing down again, and we’re hosting the RNC in the state in August.
My city and county recently started requiring masks, but not everyone is wearing them. Yesterday when I picked up my daughter from daycare, another parent picked up her child without wearing a mask, even though it’s legally required in our area and daycare has posted signs and sent out emails telling parents they are required.
Pogo says
+1 This has been my take on it since the beginning. The lack of federal oversight and leadership is ultimately very detrimental. Sure, states’ rights are one thing when it’s like, property taxes. I can decide to move somewhere else if I don’t agree with it. The virus does not respect state lines. I can’t protect myself by staying in my state where I believe leadership has been exceptional, it ultimately does not matter.
Spirograph says
I completely agree with this, however, I think consistent tone at the top would go a long way. The president is actively undermining health experts by mocking covid with all kinds of r@cist nicknames and refusing to wear a mask. There’s a certain percentage of people that will resist masks no matter what, but I think a LOT of people are taking their cues from the WH on this, and he is setting a terrible example by refusing to acknowledge that this is a serious problem that requires, if not action (in all cases), at least careful risk-based consideration.
Meanwhile, I’m just annoyed that people can go shopping and eat indoors at restaurants but my kids still can’t use the @#)$(* playgrounds.
Anon says
I think your stress level really depends on where you live. My life has been so much better since daycare and playgrounds are-opened, and rates are not rising in my area so I’m not overly worried at the moment. I realize this may change but at the moment I’m very grateful.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I’m in NYC and for the first time in this pandemic super happy to be here. I cannot fathom what is going on in TX and FL right now. Our leadership has many flaws, but Cuomo and even DeBlasio are looking amazing in comparison. I do feel like making decisions about resuming activities is stressful regardless though, and am worried about school in the fall and the future in general. And my job – I work for a performing arts organization, so I’m extremely lucky to still be employed and not sure how long that will last if we can’t reopen next spring (we’ve given up on anything before 2021, as have most of our peers).
avocado says
That article is spot-on. When our state began to open up, I remember telling my husband that the reopening stressed me out more than lockdown, for precisely the reasons the author lists. It’s obvious that we can’t rely on the recommendations of public health authorities, so it’s up to each family to be constantly monitoring the data and reassessing risk. And it puts parents in the position of being the bad guy. When everything was shut down, my teenager’s enemy was the virus. Now she can blame her dad and me for not letting her go back to practice with the rest of her team. She’s mature enough to understand the risks and our reasoning and is mostly taking everything in stride, but sometimes she gets frustrated and lashes out at us. “But everyone else is back at practice and you are making me stay home!” I resent all levels of government for putting us in this position.
Realist says
Yup. And by leaving it up to individuals, the most vulnerable and resource-poor are being put in impossible situations.
Anonymous says
Nope – I had my pay cut by 15%. We’re still paying for our nanny, paying more for food since we’re not getting those few lunches a week from work and buying more, higher priced produce/meat/eggs from our CSA farmers market. When we’ve been getting takeout, it’s from our local, more expensive restaurants so that they are still there when we open them up. Also spending soooooo much more money than usual at Home Depot/Lowes on plants and stuff for all sorts of house projects. We’re also still paying our cleaning crew, even though they are not coming, but since they’re not coming, we had to buy a bunch of cleaning supplies and new vacuum. My husband also now has time to wash and wax his car every weekend, so that was a bunch of money on car cleaning supplies. We also owed like $3500 for taxes this year due to some large capital gains we didn’t anticipate, and we paid our nanny a COVID “thank you for not leaving us and for coming to our house every day because that is what is keeping us sane as we both work from home and thanks for signing on for another year with us” bonus. Granted, we did not have to pay our nanny a bonus, but we felt it was really important to show our appreciation.
Anon says
Looking for advice on weaning. DS is 11 months and I planned to start gradually dropping feeds soon. But now he seems to have decided he’s no longer really interested! I was originally planning on dropping a feed/pump each week but can I go faster than that? Any tips?
Anonymous says
You can go as fast as you want! If he isn’t interested learn into that.
Anonymous says
Go at your speed. I was a fan of Don’t Offer, Don’t Refuse. Plus, distractions when you’re not feeling it. For me, dropping feeds and pumps (at 14 mos and 16 mos, I think) didn’t hurt my chest at all.
Anon says
Listen to your body and see what works for you.
Pogo says
Have a hand pump ready if you’re prone to clogged ducts. I had some bad ones during weaning, also a lot of discomfort at times. I think I used those silicone bead bra inserts that you can freeze, too. I also experienced a lot of hormonal awfulness (migraines, crazy period symptoms with my first cycle which was like 75 days or something) that might be worse the quicker you do it. But when LO is done, they’re done, go with it!
strollerstrike says
My 10 months old is eating solids pretty well but -seemingly- randomly vomits after eating, I would say average once a week for the past three months. I cannot detect a pattern, sometimes it is right after eating, sometimes a while later. We cut out dairy and eggs and the pediatrician did an ultrasound of his stomach and didn’t find anything unusual. Anything else that I should be looking into?
Anon says
i have a kid who vomits from time to time, but not quite that frequently. are you keeping a food diary to see if it is after certain foods? it could be some totally random, unusual food allergy. apparently as a child i had trouble detecting fullness and used to vomit on a regular basis because i would eat too much food. Eventually i grew out of it.
Anon says
At that age, my kid was still semi-frequently swallowing without chewing enough. That caused some vomiting that was unconnected to food choices. He grew out of it by the time he was 13-14 months.
CPA Lady says
Some kids just throw up a lot. My kid was a happy spitter as a baby and still has an extremely sensitive gag reflex. She has thrown up for dozens of different reasons, ranging from “she smelled a bad smell” to “she thought she had a hair in her mouth” to “she got angry and was crying really hard” or “she got pool water in her mouth”…. it’s… magical. I remember when she ways probably about the same age as your kid thinking “she should not still be spitting up should she?” but she did. It wasn’t violent projectile vomiting, just normal spit up type puking. She is otherwise perfectly healthy.
Eek says
This happened to my friend’s kid and it turned out it was a rice allergy. Random and probably not the same issue in this case, but you never know. Rice is an ingredient in lots of food you wouldn’t expect.
Anonymous says
My child did this when she was a year. From time to time she’d puke here and there. Usually in the morning, just once. We kept her home from school the first couple times thinking she was sick, but she wasn’t. I’d say this happened less than 10 times total. Probably 7. I think it was just a stage and part of her development. My nephew did the same thing.
Mother to Barferina says
My kid was a vomiter. My kid vomited as a baby constantly due to mild reflux. Doctor didn’t mind b/c he was a “happy vomiter” and was “thriving” in terms of weight. Up through 12ish months, he’d vomit a lot when he had a cold brewing. The mucus would irritate his stomach and he’d have epic vomiting spells. (My friend’s toddler vomited a lot due to mucus from allergies.) He is two and even now, if his belly is full, and he has a sip of my club soda, he’ll still vomit a few teaspoons worth. Some kids are just vomiters. Keep an eye on it, stay in touch w/ your pediatrician, and trust your gut.
Anonymous says
Even as an adult, if I am mucus-y, I get nauseous.
strollerstrike says
Thanks for the input everyone! Relieved to hear that it is somewhat common and can happen for a variety of reasons. He never seems bothered by it and just goes back to crawling around like a mad men immediately afterwards, so for now I am just hoping that he outgrows it.
Anon says
is anyone else not saving extra money during this time? we’ve fortunately had childcare this whole time, so we are still paying for that and while we have only been doing takeout once a week, DH is home so much more. usually he travels for work at least once a month, or works late and work pays for his dinner, so our grocery bill is double what it used to be, so i guess it makes sense. all of my younger colleagues keep talking about how much money they are saving, making me feel like we are doing something wrong.
Anon says
I’m spending way more because we had to hire a nanny instead of daycare.
Anonanonanon says
Same. Went from $290/week for inhome daycare to paying $145/week to keep our spot there and about $750 week for a sitter. Sooooo never retiring.
katy says
yup. Spending more on childcare. More on groceries. More on house stuff (which is a choice I know)… Freezer at the beginning of COVD, some new furniture that I was planning on buying eventually because the living room set up is not working for me, computer equipment for home office etc.
Savings would effectively only be from not traveling / super cheap driving trip (vs. trip to Europe / cross country flights last year for the family), but we weren’t planning a big trip this year until the winter anyways, so it doesn’t feel like saving.
Also my company’s salaries were cut across the board and I know because of my job functions that bonuses will be way down.
Anonymous says
We are spending more – DH being home and not getting lunches free from work a few days a week. Cooking bigger breakfasts because we have the time. Food prices have gone up, and buying every craft kit available for our 3yo. Oh and 11 month old eats a ton.
Lily says
We are saving money because we aren’t paying for daycare, and aren’t eating out as much (we get takeout a couple of times a week, but when you buy your own wine/booze, “eating out” costs a lot less). If we were still paying for childcare (especially a nanny) and if our food costs went up because work wasn’t covering meals anymore, we definitely wouldn’t be saving anything. I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. Are you able to save on kids’ activities? I am also spending a little (but not much) less on my own clothes… but have probably spent more than usual on toys/kids books.
Some people may be saving because they aren’t traveling, also.
Lyssa says
I don’t think we’ve substantially saved money – we don’t eat out that much anyway, and when all the restaurants were closed, we went through a stage of ordering in more often (it helps the economy, right?), though I guess we saved by not ordering drinks out. My husband is home with the kids, so childcare hasn’t changed. We had to cancel an expensive vacation from spring, and are replacing it with a much cheaper one next month, and a regular class the kids go was cancelled, but that’s really it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We haven’t had to pay for daycare during this shutdown so saved there (although we’re paying for a nanny share now) but our grocery bill has gone way up. And we still do takeout once or twice a week so not much savings on restaurants (we did the same pre pandemic and only went out occasionally). Our travel spending is pretty low now anyway because I just don’t want to travel anywhere non-driving distance with two small kids. I imagine younger people spent a lot on travel and going out to eat/bars, as well as gym, hobbies, etc.
rakma says
Nope, not saving extra, and giving side eye to my younger colleagues who are turning summer travel and bar funds into home improvement projects and savings. (I wouldn’t be jealous of a weekend at a party house, but I am jealous of the landscaping work)
Food costs and activities to keep the kids occupied (and maybe enriched? that’s a stretch) have been noticeable increases, but there really haven’t been any changes to our other regular spending.
Anon says
We replaced summer childcare and camps with daily sitter/nanny costs, and bought a ton of activities to keep them away from the dual working parents in our small ranch house. Oriental Trading crafts, an inflatable pool, a small stockpile of chalk, and all the construction paper and snacks a kid could want. I think we’re spending more here.
We are coming out ahead a bit in food costs with fewer lunches out at the office and fewer restaurants with adult drinks, but not by much since our grocery bill is so much higher – not just for more food at home but prices seem to have increased in general.
Utilities have increased – we had to up our internet plan to accomodate work video calls at the same time as class zooms. We’re using more electricity and water and everything just because there are now four people home 24/7 plus a sitter from 9-4 most days.
Our big savings come from a cancelled vacation but that’s turned into our extended emergency fund, in case one of us loses our job before the end of the year.
Where are other people actually saving?
anne-on says
From conversations with younger colleagues, they are saving exactly where you’d think 20-somethings with no kids would be saving – no gym or personal training fees, no weekly drinks/brunches, dinners out, no buying lunches out at the office, no nail/hair/waxing/blow-out appointments, no massages, no ‘big’ summer vacations, heck – no international travel, no ubers, no car rentals/zip car memberships, and many (but not all) have moved back home to their parents larger suburban houses – so no rent!
SC says
We are saving a bit on not having babysitters and not eating out or having date nights. We’ve offset some of that with an increased grocery bill, both from eating more at home and eating nicer food at home, and drinking more wine than usual. We’ve also saved on gas and clothing. And we save some money by not doing our regular weekend activities–like, we have a zoo membership and a children’s museum membership, but we’re usually not with it enough to pack a picnic, and 3 of us eating lunch at the zoo or the museum costs $35.
Our three largest monthly expenses are our mortgage, Kiddo’s daycare/preschool tuition, and health insurance. Obviously, mortgage and health insurance are still there. I’ve been putting money aside for Kiddo’s tuition for the fall, but school is still up in the air. If we end up homeschooling or in public school, we’ll save money on not being in private school–but I’ll probably end up using it within the next year for evaluation and/or therapy services.
Anonymous says
I’m due this fall, so no kids yet, but our huge savings have come from the federal loan deferment for both my husband and me. Technically that’s not true savings since we will owe it later (at least I will, he’s in loan forgiveness so these payment free months actually count towards his total) but while payments and interest are paused we’ve put all our extra money into savings.
Pogo says
My pay got cut so no, not saving any money. We may be at net zero with no travel/eating out/spa visits/etc but I doubt we spend %-wise on those things what my pay was cut by.
AwayEmily says
Our daycare (run by the university where I work) is still deducting money from my paycheck to pay for care, but will be crediting that money to our account for when daycare finally reopens. So we aren’t saving extra money now, but when daycare finally reopens we will be.
I also stopped shopping at Amazon (how they dealt with their workers at the start of the COVID outbreak was the last straw for me) and that has also ended up being a money-saver because I make a lot fewer impulse purchases (we switched to Target curbside pickup for most stuff instead).
The one area that we’ve spent the most extra $$ in is kids’ books. All our libraries were closed and I have spent ~$500 on books in the last three months (bookshop.org and Target). So happy that libraries are now reopening for curbside pickup.
Anon says
We are only saving a little extra, if that – might be a wash TBH, in that I am not paying for parking or gas (probably $200 a month), part-time preschool closed ($250 a month) and our biweekly housekeeping service closed ($240 a month). Not eating out 2-3x a week is theoretically more savings, but it is less than I thought it would be, in part because we typically take home leftovers so it stretches restaurant food to two meals and in part because we don’t eat out at super fancy places. However, I had a 10% pay cut start this month, we have spent money on extra home stuff (reasonable amounts of stocking up on nonperishables and cleaning supplies as they slowly come back in stock in case there is another supply crunch, extra gardening supplies and plants for me (I did 2x the amount of planting I would typically do and bought a lot of plants online which is always pricier), new outdoor toys for toddler, new indoor toys for DH, some technology upgrades related to WFH), and our grocery bill is about 2.5x what it used to be (likely due to not eating out, trying to replicate nice food as treats for ourselves (e.g., we’ve been doing steaks regularly and all the nice cheeses), the fact that I often worked late at the office and had dinner comped with frequent catered lunch meetings and food prices are definitely higher).
Emily S. says
I think it is a wash for us. I spent a crazy amount on books and toys and crafts in the first two weeks of lockdown, followed by a lull for about 6 weeks and then gradually increased spending on books, toys, games, crafts, and house stuff in the past 4 weeks. We kept paying for daycare because we could, but didn’t pay for extracurricular classes. I paid for my YMCA membership for 2 months but froze it beginning in June. We’re eating out way less than we did in Before Times, but grocery bill has gone up. I would like to run a spending comparison for March -June of this year vs. last year, but I don’t know that I’ll ever have the mental energy to do it.
Anon says
We have saved some.
Anon says
Also not saving money. We’re not (yet) paying daycare fees, but my self-employed spouse isn’t working, so those cancel each other out. We always did most of our cooking rather than eating out, so our grocery buying habits haven’t really changed, but prices per item are definitely higher, so we’re spending more on groceries. We’re also still trying to only go shopping at once store every 2 weeks (in a hot spot zone that hasn’t calmed down enough yet), so there’s less going to different stores to get things on sale, etc.
Clementine says
It’s ending up being a wash for us – maybe slight savings, but all the money we saved on not buying coffee out, no classes or activities to pay for, etc. has been eaten up by installing a backyard swingset (SO worth it) and buying a Peloton bike as plans in case long term social distancing/quarantining becomes our lives.
FWIW, today is the FIRST day I have somebody over just… helping me on a normal work day (I’ve mentioned I’m solo parenting for an extended period and it’s been just me since early spring with the exception of one day where people helped me out so I could do an appointment and a house project). THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
Anon says
i literally do not know how you do it. every time you post, i think that you are super mom and i would literally be having a nervous breakdown in your shoes
Clementine says
Awww! Thanks! Most days I feel like a terrible mom… my kids watch too much TV, hot dogs have become their new favorite meal, I’m taking conference calls while wrangling kids in the backyard…
And… I do it because there are no other options. So, just have to get it done.
Anonymous says
Interesting. Honestly, we’ve saved a ton because we barely left our house for months.
Spirograph says
Same. DH and I both maintained full salary until recently when he took some leave under the covid cares act, and not paying the second mortgage that is daycare has been a financial boon. We were once-a-week take out people in the Before Times and that hasn’t changed, so grocery bill increased to cover everyone’s lunch (daycare-provided, normally), but not nearly enough to offset all the savings from basically having no paid entertainment/activities for 3 months.
Have y’all seen the econ study that came out last week basically saying that high income people not spending money on services is what’s stunting the recovery? The data is very interesting, and the conclusion makes perfect sense to me.
11:30 Anon says
I have not seen that, and it does make sense for us. We’re going to be spending all the savings on having our porch re-screened and buying new porch furniture in the next 2-4 weeks. But it is really nice that we can do that without feeling like we’re dipping into savings a bunch.
Anon says
Ditto for me as well. It’s shocking to me how much lower my credit card bill is now – I’m realizing I spent way more than I ever wanted or needed to on meals out, coffees during the workday, etc.
octagon says
We are saving money on child care but it seems like it is going out in other ways. We’ve done a few outdoor house projects because they needed to be done, and can be done while we are home. We are spending a lot more on food and I am throwing money at activities, toys and apps to help keep kiddo (4.5) occupied in 30-minute segments. We haven’t yet figured out fitness equipment — I was hoping I would be able to go back to the gym but I’m not sure that will happen anytime soon, so we may invest in a treadmill and some weights.
Anonymous says
We are saving money, because while we do pay for a sitter, we are also punting a lot and also using my mom. We are spending $1500/month on childcare but normally spend $3k+.
Also, my kids do a bunch of activities that have been cancelled. We’ve gotten over $1200 or so in refunds.
DH eats lunch at work every day (~$10) and has been eating at home, plus has not been commuting (no gas or parking).
My wine budget has skyrocketed.
Anonymous says
We are not saving as much as I anticipated. Our monthly grocery bill has gone up by about 50 percent, cancelling out our restaurant savings. Savings on gas, gym fees, haircuts, and kid activities have been eaten up by some gigantic medical bills and the kid’s unanticipated growth spurt probably related to being out of sports. Adult-sized shoes are way more expensive than kids’ shoes, and she’s grown a full size since March. I have also been spending a lot on random stuff to make life easier, like new flour canisters and a replacement for our nasty old pull-up bar.
avocado says
That was me. The vacation that we cancelled was a super cheap one, so not much saved there either.
Anonymous says
Yes, we are not saving any additional money– I had my pay cut by 15%. We’re still paying for our nanny, paying more for food since we’re not getting those few lunches a week from work and buying more food and seltzer water (I have unlimited cans of seltzer at work), higher priced produce/meat/eggs from our CSA farmers market. When we’ve been getting takeout, it’s from our local, more expensive restaurants (and not like a chipolte or anything), so that they are still there when we open them up. Also spending soooooo much more money than usual at Home Depot/Lowes on plants and stuff for all sorts of house projects. We’re also still paying our cleaning crew, even though they are not coming, but since they’re not coming, we had to buy a bunch of cleaning supplies and new vacuum. My husband also now has time to wash and wax his car every weekend, so that was a bunch of money on car cleaning supplies. We also owed like $3500 for taxes this year due to some large capital gains we didn’t anticipate, and we paid our nanny a COVID “thank you for not leaving us and for coming to our house every day because that is what is keeping us sane as we both work from home and thanks for signing on for another year with us” bonus. Granted, we did not have to pay our nanny a bonus, but we felt it was really important to show our appreciation for her. We had told her that it was 100% up to her (and still is) whether she comes or not (depending on her comfort level) and we would continue to pay her if she didn’t come. We’re thankful to be getting something for our money, but it’s still frustrating.
Realist says
We’re not saving any extra money. My hours and income are down. We paid 3 months tuition for “distance learning.” We got a refund for summer camps, but will likely spend most of it on outdoor toys, craft supplies, etc. We are spending more on food because everyone is home all the time, but it is balanced out a bit by less restaurants. DH works out pretty hard as his self care and seriously burns 3,000 or 4,000 calories a day. I gave up on trying to make adequate meals for him and just spend lot on healthy high calorie snacks while we have normal family meals. We go through 4 jars of nut butters a week. I’ve also spent more money than normal on house and garden projects. I think family life costs about the same right now. But in my 20s, I could see saving a lot by not going out and not buying new outfits for occasions.
Realist says
Threading fail
Anon says
My 5 year old still throws terrible tantrums from time to time. Not too often, but she had two last week. She totally loses control of her emotion and deep breaths, holding her, acknowledging her feelings, anything from Janet Lansbury doesn’t work. She doesn’t like to be talked to and covers her ears, which worries DH but she doesn’t have any other behavioral flags.
I keep thinking she’ll outgrow these and there are less, but they definitely still happen! Her two siblings do not have this issue and normal strategies work for them.
It’s really hard to get through to her in the moment or even as she’s eventually calming down (takes 10-20 minutes, I’d guess?) I’m wondering if meditation apps could help. Any good ones for a 5 year old? Or other suggestions?
AwayEmily says
That’s really hard. Have you talked to her about them (not immediately after, but on another day when she is in a good mood)? Does she have any ideas of what might help?
OP says
Yes! And thank you for the suggestion – in theory she’s old enough to be able to help us strategize. She’s always really open to discussing and talking about strategies, but in the moment she’s hysterical. My DH, our nanny and I all three struggle to pull her out of it. Afterwards she’s always delightful – I know she has to get it out, but man, it’s tough.
We’ve talked about her removing herself to her own space (we sometimes carry her to her own space, but that doesn’t seem to help), taking a walk, taking deep breaths, trying to talk about it, just having a good cry without all the yelling and thrashing at people…
Mrs. Jones says
We started play therapy around that age and it helped a LOT.
anon says
So I’ve thought about that! She never has tantrums with other kids or at class though – just with us at home. And doesn’t have issues with social skills with other kids – do you think it could be helpful? Post-covid obviously!
Anon says
Janet Lansbury sounds ok in theory but her ideas don’t always work in practice.
Anonymous says
My kid is 4. 90% of the time when she has a tantrum, she needs time alone to calm down. I offer to hug and try to talk it out. But usually my saying no is causing the tantrum, so she wants nothing to do with me. She goes to her room (often on her own now), shuts the door, and calms down. Usually by finding a book to look at on her bed.
Anonymous says
First. This board (and the parents of my 5 year old’s friends) have reassured me that most if not all 5 year olds are still having tantrums. (I seriously though we were the only ones.) my child has a little more trouble with emotional regulation than others, at least according to his preschool, but nothing beyond normal range. Janet Lansbury has never ever worked for him no matter how appealing it sounds. Neither have any of the in the moment strategies suggested to us by a therapist. Like your daughter, he does not want to talk In the moment and will cover his ears. For his personality honestly we just have to put him in his room alone to calm down. He can do it on his own but really needs no other sensory input in order to get himself calm – no one in his race, no noise, no touch. We don’t frame it as a time out but rather “I’m going to take you to calm down alone in your room because it’s not ok to scream at the family. It’s quiet there. We’ll see you once you have calmed down.”
Anonymous says
No one in his ROOM, good grief.
anon says
My kid had horrible, frequent tantrums at 5. Like, I asked no fewer than 3 pediatricians for advice/evaluation. No one saw any medical concern/cause.
Tantrums stopped once kiddo got settled into kindergarten.
No advice, just commiseration.
OP says
Thank you for this – honestly we need hope more than anything else!!!
And thank you all for the advice too – appreciate it!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Paging Pogo:
As an update, our daycare now may not open until 7/6 as they had the same problem of the application not being available on time and glitchy, and they needed extra paperwork. We’ll see.
Pogo says
Thanks – this is definitely what I’m hearing from others. I really do feel for the state, it’s not an easy task, and it’s obviously good that they’re scrutinizing applications. I wish I could manage my anxiety around this better, but DH and I are both so swamped at work right now I could realllllly use some stability.
LSC says
Wanted to share this article about what daycares for essential workers have learned so far during the pandemic. Looks like there may be some good news about the low risk to children in group settings, when appropriate protective measures are in place. https://www.npr.org/2020/06/24/882316641/what-parents-can-learn-from-child-care-centers-that-stayed-open-during-lockdowns
anecdata says
My kids went to a camp last week and siblings in their two classes both had Covid – their camp got cancelled (booo) but for what it’s worth the kids appear to not have spread it to any other kids or teachers! I’m seeing this as a good thing? Including the kids they carpooled with! (this is all kids under 6)
Anon says
Great article. I wish more people would see information like this to bring down the level of panic and guilt. Childcare is so important – we need to distinguish what the real risks are and not just automatic paint everything with the same shade of danger.
Anon says
+1,000,000
NYCer says
+1. Bloomberg News had a similar article about a French study involving schools in France.
Clementine says
I read this article and this is what I needed to hear right now as I get ready to send the first kid back to daycare in the next few weeks.
On the one hand: I need to do this for my sanity, for kiddo’s social development, and various complicated logistics reasons that probably other people don’t have to deal with.
On the other hand: GUILT. Am I being a bad mom by doing this? What if, what if, what if? I am so torn because I LOVE staying at home with the kids, but alternately: there are reasons I work. Legitimate, real reasons.
Spirograph says
I read this article this morning, and was so pleased that it was the leading headline on NPR. 100% agree with the concluding sentence that failing to prioritize reopening schools has been a big, big miss.
We are not sending our kids back to daycare this summer (a babysitter is logistically easier at this point), and apparently lost our spot for the fall unless they increase capacity, but I’m hopeful that more data points will allow that increased capacity to happen.
Anon says
yes i think the childcare group setting risk is less about kids getting it, but more about it not being as reliable care bc if a kid or staff member tests positive, they will be opening and closing and with stricter measures in place about kids being allowed to come with runny noses, etc. it seems highly likely that kids will not be able to go as consistently
Realist says
Yes. In the Northeast, and if schools reopen, I am anticipating the aggravation of snow days x 1,000,000. We are making plans to homeschool. With our health situation and all the uncertainty, that just sounds easier and more practical even as it also sounds awful.
Anon says
My daycare has been open for more than a month and has been completely reliable. A runny nose isn’t a COVID symptom and my daughter was able to go even when she had one. I think a lot of people are assuming the worst about daycare.
Anon says
Our daycare has said that state regulations (Maryland) list a runny nose as a COVID symptom, so you can’t come back without a dr’s note or negative test. This is what’s making me think this winter is going to be a disaster.
Pogo says
omg, that’s crazy! I didn’t even think runny nose WAS an actual covid symptom?? The MA checklist is fever, headaches, unexplained stomach pain, loss of smell, etc. Nothing that would be an issue with allergies or teething-related snottiness.
AnotherAnon says
Same for our day care in TX: runny nose=covid symptom and your child must stay home for 14 days. The director states this comes from the CDC so I need to look it up. It hasn’t come up yet but this is going to be a sticking point for me. This is exhausting.
Anon at 12:40 says
Pogo, yeah, it’s completely crazy. “MSDE has created a checklist for daily use that includes fever, sore throat, nasal congestion, runny nose, shortness of breath, fatigue, body aches, vomiting, diarrhea, loss of taste or smell, close contact with anyone who has COVID-19 or has symptoms. A “yes” answer to any of these will result in a child or teacher not being admitted or being sent home immediately. They will not be admitted until they have a doctor’s note to return.”
avocado says
Yes yes yes. I am concerned about my daughter’s bringing the virus home from school, but the more likely problem is that the school won’t be able to ensure continuity of instruction. This is why we will be homeschooling if the school doesn’t offer a 100% virtual option.
Anon says
So what does this mean about public schools? I get that daycares can manage to limit the class size to 10-15, but I just can’t see how that’s going to be feasible in a school system. My kid’s kindergarten class is supposed to have 30 kids and they just don’t have the ability to double the classroom spaces.
Anonymous says
Our public schools are looking at rotating cohorts.
Anonymous says
Our state’s school reopening guidelines say “distance if possible, but if it’s too hard don’t worry about it.”
SC says
The AAP published an article concluding this: “Almost six months into the pandemic, accumulating evidence and collective experience argue that children, particularly school-aged children, are far less important drivers of ARSCoV-2 transmission than adults. Therefore, serious consideration should be paid towards strategies that allow schools to remain open, even during periods of COVID-19 spread. In doing so, we could minimize the potentially profound adverse social, developmental, and health costs that our children will continue to suffer until an effective treatment or vaccine can be developed and distributed, or failing that, until we reach herd immunity.”
Anonymous says
Amen.
IHeartBacon says
Amen x 2.
Anonymous says
I really can’t imagine that our schools will completely shut down for more than a few weeks here and there. Not that that would be easy, but it is hard for me to imagine a lengthy shutdown. Our town (about 23,000) has a significant low income population, and the consequences as a society are pretty hefty. I’m totally not minimizing the threat of dying from Covid, but there’s virtually no access to mental health services right now, people can’t work because they don’t have childcare, etc., etc. For so many families here, it’s the consequences of a full blown shut down are just so severe.
Eek says
This happened to my friend’s kid and it turned out it was a rice allergy. Random and probably not the same issue in this case, but you never know. Rice is an ingredient in lots of food you wouldn’t expect.
Eek says
Nesting fail, sorry.
Anonymous says
What sort of footwear do babies who are not yet walking wear to daycare? My 9 month old is starting daycare in August and I have no idea what to put on his feet. We live in the SEUS, so socks in August just seem way too hot? He is always barefoot at home.
AnotherAnon says
Robeez. But I’m lazy and my kid was a late walker (18 months) so I sent him to day care in footie pjs until after his first birthday…when they politely asked me to dress him in real clothes and shoes.
Lana Del Raygun says
Unless it’s against the rules I would just send him barefoot! If he needs footgear I would look for sandals with soft leather soles.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Seconding Robeez. They have cute styles and they stay on feet.
Anon says
Walmart has great options. Many shoes you find online are way more expensive but not any nicer than what you can get at Walmart.
Emily S. says
Our daycare required shoes when DD moved out of the infant room, even though she wasn’t walking. I’m in SEUS, too, so it was unbearable outside but cool inside daycare with AC. We used Jack and Lily baby shoes and See Kai Run crib shoes.
Anon says
My kids just went to daycare barefoot in the summer and with socks on in the winter. I think the winter they turned one we added fleece Zutano booties for when they went on walks.
Pogo says
+1 zutanos
AnotherAnon says
Warning, vent ahead. My office is steadily increasing personnel on campus, for essentially no reason (they basically said “We’re paying for this facility, so someone needs to be in the office”). As a result, Covid cases among employees are skyrocketing (they literally doubled from last week – they’re sending weekly case updates). I haven’t seen a single person not social distancing, wearing a mask, or following hand-washing procedures. I get my temperature taken by a security guard before I’m allowed to enter the building. Management actually had the gall to send out a mail today saying they are “very disappointed in us” for not following protocol. What the serious eff. This is YOUR fault you bunch of tinfoil hats! My job can be done 100% remotely. I was already debating quitting, but this certainly feels like they’re forcing my hand.
Anon says
Terrible.
Pogo says
I’m sorry. That is awful.
avocado says
That is absolutely terrible. Employers are going to lose their best performers over things like this.
Toddlers and Bug Spray says
Talk to me about toddlers and bug spray. My 16 month old went back to daycare this week and I found a tick on her last night! Her daycare is on the edge of a wooded area, so now that she’s walking it seems like it’s time to send in bug spray for her. I need something with DEET for ticks, yes? I’m generally not anti-DEET – I know that’s what works and it seems to have a good safety record. But I still hesitate to have it put on her 5 days a week. What do you use regularly on your toddlers? Any good sites you can share to put my mind at ease?
Lana Del Raygun says
For ease of mind, DEET is the AAP’s top recommendation: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/at-play/Pages/Insect-Repellents.aspx
For ease of application, I would recommend DEET wipes if you haven’t tried them yet. Makes it easier to avoid eyes/mouth in my experience.
Realist says
I like Picaridin better than DEET and it has been shown to be just as effective. For some reason, the smell of it doesn’t seem as offensive as the DEET smell. I usually get it from Avon. In your situation, I would also consider investing in some clothes that have been treated with permethrin. You can buy a bottle and do it yourself (never spray on you or your child, it should only be used to soak clothing and then worn after the clothing dries), but it lasts longer if you buy the pretreated clothing. It eventually wears off, but I think it lasts through 50 washes if you get the pretreated items, so it should last a season. We live in a Lyme area and most parents check their children daily and use bug spray anytime children are outside.
Anon says
Second Picaridin. It smells better and is less greasy. I think you need a 20% concentration to be effective against ticks.
We use wipes, rather than spray, to avoid getting it in their eyes and mouth. Avon Skin so Soft makes some, as does Natrapel.
Emily S. says
Seconding Natrapel! We use the wipes and the spray.
Anonymous says
I would go for DEET over picaridin, because there is a lot more data on its safety.
Anon says
My issue with DEET is that I take a medication that’s contraindicated. Unfortunately I have cats and do feel uncomfortable with the safety of picaridin around cats. I’m seriously considering allergy shots, since between allergy season and a mosquito allergy, I feel like I can only go outside in the winter!
Anonymous says
My ped says DEET is better than Lyme disease (which is a big problem here).
Anonymous says
Piggy backing on comments above about nannies etc … legit cried during a meeting yesterday about childcare. It’s impossible for us to plan. Toddler’s daycare can’t plan until mid August about what care they can offer because state early education regs won’t drop till then. It’s a preschool with early/after care and at minimum they will probably have a reduced schedule of one kind or another, but also fewer slots. Elementary kiddo also no idea what schedule will be but also likely not full day school every day, no idea what’s up with aftercare. Spouse also a teacher and no idea what schedule will be and therefore what childcare will be able to provide. Spouse has been doing most of childcare so far. Literally the only plan we could make would be to arrange a full time nanny we can’t afford (but it’s too far in advance) and then say “sorry no thanks” to the nanny if it turns out, as it likely will, that we don’t actually need 100 percent care. We could also look for another daycare now – a few are open full time and I am essential- but can’t afford that plus nanny for elementary school kid if we go that route and don’t need care till late August and need to save money this summer for whatever crazy care situation we need on the fall.
Realist says
Tearing out my hair right along with you. A full time nanny makes no financial sense for us. Child has allergies that present the same as several key Covid symptoms from November through March. I swing back and forth from feeling sorry for myself (watching my hours dwindle and my business that I worked so hard for atrophy) from reminding myself that we are so lucky—we can get through a year without my salary just fine. We can probably even afford the therapy we will all need when things start to normalize again. For now, we are planning to homeschool. I hate the plan but at least we have one. Every time DH and I discuss it, we circle around every other option, but for our family’s circumstances, homeschooling is the most viable option. And my planner personality feels a bit better having a plan that should work, even if it is a terrible one.
Anonymous says
It’s so hard!! Myself I would prefer we just plan to homeschool and keep the kids home, but does not make sense for either of us to drop out of the workforce. I would enjoy it for a year or two, but am our major wage earner and insurance provider; spouse needs to keep working both for sanity and to ensure retirement down the road.
Anon says
My smart, very verbal 2.5 year old daughter has suddenly become a tantrum monster. Any tips or advice for surviving this stage with her? She’s melting down at least once a day for 10-20 minutes each time. We’re still aggressively staying home, we have a new baby (8 weeks old) and she’s recently potty trained. I’m sympathetic to all of these big changes in her world but her behavior is totally unsustainable. Tips/advice/commiseration/survival stories appreciated.
AnotherAnon says
She is dealing with A LOT. Her whole little world has been turned upside down. FWIW, my 2.5 y/o regularly tantrumed just because he was 2.5. I re-read How to Talk so Kids will Listen and just kind of hunkered down for a few months. We weren’t even in quarantine and it was not fun. Mine needed a little more physical activity and a lot more physical touch from his parents, but YMMV. We also introduced the family rule “grownups are the boss” (coupled with “it’s my job to keep you safe”) and tried to give him more (seemingly unimportant) choices. He just wanted control so badly: letting him pick his snack or pjs helped. Can you encourage more outside play or activities? Give more one-on-one time with her? Send her to grandma’s for some special attention? Hang in there – you all are dealing with a lot and it’s hard. Congrats on your little, btw.
Anon says
We do deep breathing for my very smart (not very verbal) 2.75 year old. We watch the monster meltdowns on Esme and Roy and the Daniel Tiger when you feel so mad you want to roar during calm times. When she has a meltdown, we let her go for about 5 minutes, and then say something like “what do we do when we’re feeling mad, frustrated, whatever”, excitedly prompt “deep breaths!”, and take a few of them together, with lots of noisy exhaling. Then we ask if she’s feeling calmer and either repeat or move on depending on her answer. I would say it works about 75% of the time.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I have a survival story more than tips but our older one was also 2.5 when the baby was born, and also recently potty trained, and he had a lot of meltdowns and hitting and yelling then. We weren’t stuck inside at the time, so I imagine that adds yet another layer of stress, but I think that these kinds of tantrums are so normal but so hard to deal with when there’s also a new baby to take care of. We did time outs in a time out chair but that didn’t really do much for my older one. I started listening to Janet Lansbury when he was around 3/3.5, and that helps me to see that his strong emotions are normal and to be embraced, but behavior like hitting or throwing is not acceptable. So yelling, hitting a pillow, stomping feet, taking big deep breaths = all good and helpful and to be encouraged. Hitting us and throwing are not ok, and I will hold him in his room until he is a little calmer. He’s 4 now and the meltdowns still happen but are less frequent and we more or less know when they’re triggered.
public schools says
Has anyone heard an official plan for the fall from their school district? Fairfax County (VA) just announced that families can choose to either have a) 2 days in-person, 2 days independent study or b) 4 days online instruction.
Anonymous says
In Jax, Fl. In person 5 days for k-5, 4 days for 6th grade, 3 days for 7-8 grade, and 2 days for high school. Other days in theory online, but that was a mixed bag at best this spring. And given the case number trends here, who knows what will happen come the actual start of school.
Anonymous says
Our state dropped 50 pages of guidelines in the last week or two but districts’ plans (And private school plans) aren’t due till mid August.
Anonymous says
Ugh, MoCo hasn’t announced anything yet, but I expect it will be similar. We’ve been looking at private schools, and I’m really struggling with it. I’m a huge proponent of public schools, and we targeted our current neighborhood because of the public schools here, but if I can $$$ my way out of a 2 day/week school schedule, I’m doing it. *sigh*
Anonymous says
No. Our state is sending out guidelines July 1. At the same time, districts have due to the department of education various plans for in-person, online, and hybrid learning. It sounds like concrete information will come out a few weeks after that.
AFT says
IL dropped 63 pages of guidelines yesterday… depending on who you ask, people have interpreted it as “no way we’re going back”, “we’re definitely going back” and “!!!!!” My takeaway is that they will try to bring kids back for partial or full time in August, but be prepared that they may have to go to partial/full remote learning in the fall as flu/covid ramps up and be closed for some time in the winter. Some people in my area are freaking about kids wearing masks, staying in the same classroom, and losing interaction with those outside their cohorts, but I’ll just be happy if they can go to school in some capacity.
AFT says
I should add… districts got the guidelines at the same time the public did, so nothing official on how they will be interpreted. That info will likely start coming out in mid July.
Anonymous says
Hoping the guidelines in IL allow for flexibility. I am directly on the border of a neighboring state, and my colleagues in IL are increasingly frustrated that IL rules are only based on Chicagoland numbers and have failed to provide flexibility for more rural areas with a drastically different scenario.