Accessory Tuesday: Gwen Y-Necklace

AITA for not “giving grace” when my husband asked me for it?

Here’s the background: my husband and I bought a second car when we left the city several years ago. I did all the legwork, researching what we wanted, pricing, calling dealerships, setting up test drives, negotiating, etc. for a used car– a small SUV which was going to be my main car (he would mostly keep using the other one). The very week we brought it home, he ripped a huge snag in the dashboard by loading a piece of wood in through the hatch back without measuring or protecting the interior (there is also a snag in the seat fabric), and a couple months later, was hauling material in the back that spilled causing a giant permanent stain in the fabric and a smell that I can still detect on a hot day some 7 years later. We talked about how this new car was not in fact a truck, and that if we/he needed/wanted a truck, we should buy one, which we agreed was not practical for the rest of our lives (the hauling of wood and material was for a project– an occasional personal hobby, not a job).

Fast forward to now: we bought a new SUV a year ago. We now have two SUVs. The old one is mostly his and the new one is mostly mine. It was very expensive– at the tip top of our budget, but we have been driving old cars for our whole lives and this felt like a splurge. When we got it a few months ago we agreed in no uncertain terms that he would not use this car to haul $#!+. I am sure I told him: If you junk up this car immediately I am going to flip. You can guess what happened. We swapped cars yesterday because he was taking the new one for an inspection. When I got home from work last night he said very seriously, “I am asking for grace. I used the car to haul xyz and it spilled in the back. I’ve been working all day to get the smell/stain out.” I said “are you kidding me?! We agreed you wouldnt use this car for that!” and he goes, “I asked for grace.” Which apparently he thinks means that I cannot be upset? He took the car again today I hope to get it professionally cleaned, but now I am doubly upset (1) that he broke our agreement and may have messed up the new, very expensive car for a hobby that he 100% did not have to do the day he was driving the new car (whyyyyyyy) and (2) that he thinks he can control my reaction by asking for “grace” like some kind of manipulative trump card.

In the end, it’s just a car and we will move on. But I do think he’s flipping the script to make me the A when he messed up.

Hi all. I’ll start off by saying I know this is not official medical advice and we will of course discuss with our pediatrician. For those of you with kids with ADHD, if you’re comfortable sharing, what medications have you found to be most helpful? Did it take a lot of trial and error and how did you know it was “working”? Specifically, a kid with a high IQ and ADHD, if applicable. I’m not looking to be talked into or out of any treatment options, just getting some thoughts from fellow moms.

Thanks all!

Good morning! Anyone want to paper doll me? I’m an elder millennial in a post kid fashion rut and and hoping the group can help me out! Size 14/16, petite, short waisted, formerly pear shaped but more apple shaped now with “winter” coloring. My style is classic and I used to have great capsule wardrobes pre pandemic and last pregnancy! Federal employee in the office 3x per week so mostly business casual to casual. My youngest is 3.5, I am no longer need to chase a toddler around but prefer easy care fabrics. I have a healthy budget for this so suggest away!