Beauty & Makeup Monday: Gotta Glow Lip Tint

Gotta Glow Lip TintI don’t know what possessed me to grab this lip tint — it was on a low shelf at CVS in a shiny silver box and, for some reason, I said, YES, let’s get a deep purple lip tint called “Perfect Berry” for $4. But here’s the news: I love this stuff. It’s affordable and a gentle wash of a color — it’s sort of a purpley/brown, similar to my old beloved Covergirl Lipslicks in Edgy (but minus any sort of weird cloying scent). I can’t find it many places online, and where they have it they have it in the “perfect pink” color — but I highly recommend the purple if you want a slightly deeper, darker color for a tint. It’s $6 online at E.L.F. Gotta Glow Lip Tint

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  1. Pets and death says:

    I think this has come up before but I can’t find it.
    My parents’ cat died recently and my 2 year old keeps asking to see the cat every time we FaceTime. We’ll be going to visit soon. How would you address this? So far we have just avoided the topic by saying that the kitty isn’t there now.

    • I read an explanation someplace recently (Cup of Jo, maybe?) on how a mom explained a pet’s death to her toddler. She compared it to seeing a snail in its shell versus seeing the discarded shell. The body that looks like the pet is left behind, but the part that makes the pet your pet has gone someplace else. It isn’t necessarily a comforting explanation, but she said that it seemed to help her child understand and accept the death of the pet. It also avoids the religious/heaven component if you don’t want to go there.

    • mumumum says:

      My parents read “Badger’s Parting Gifts” to us when a grandparent died (which was our first experience with death) and I plan to do the same with my LO when the time comes.

    • PregLawyer says:

      I think 2 is still too young to get it. I would just say the cat is gone, it had to go away. I would avoid talking about it getting sick and then going away — I don’t think you want to associate getting sick with loss yet.

      On a somewhat related note, my kid is starting to get more into movies, but can still only watch about 20 minutes at a time. And he just wants to rewatch everything from the beginning. So we watched the first 20 minutes of Frozen about 5 times this weekend. Every time the parents died I had to lie. “What’s that boat doing?” “Anna and Elsa’s parents are taking a trip! It’s stormy.” “What are they doing to the picture?” (they put a black cloth over it) “I think it’s just a way of decorating the picture.” “What are they doing?” (holding funeral ceremony) “It’s some sort of ceremony.”

      • avocado says:

        I would say “Kitty’s body got very old and stopped working, so she died. We can’t see her any more but we can remember how much we loved her.” That avoids connecting illness to death in a scary way.

    • I have a child welfare social work background, and one of the books that I kept from that schooling was called “Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss”. It talks about how it is so important to start labeling death and talking about it a young age when the stakes are low. That was kids start to conceptualize death before it is grandma/grandpa/etc. It is also important not to create a taboo topic about it, as kids really pick up on your unwillingness to talk about it.

      Based on that, we always label death as that. The ant that I stepped on died, the fish died, the person in that movie died. For my 4 year old, he has only asked a few times what that means and for now I have kept it at “they are not coming back”. And he’s been satisfied with that response.

      So in this instance I would just tell her that the cat died and is not coming back.

  2. Favorite Way to Share Photos/Videos? says:

    Looking for recommendation on the easiest way to share (privately) photos and videos of the kids with geographically distant, not terribly tech savvy relatives. They use email and the web, but don’t have smartphones and don’t use Facebook. Thoughts?

    • My sister uses Tinybeans, and it works well. It sends a daily email of pictures. Viewers can click a link to comment on the pictures, but the actual pictures can be viewed in the email. It’s a nice user experience from the consumer perspective, but I haven’t used it from the parent end.

    • Google Photos, especially if they use gmail.

      • AwayEmily says:


      • Knope says:

        I agree, but be warned that it’s not the most secure of ways to share (there’s no way to prevent others from inviting people to view the album). If your relatives aren’t tech savvy I doubt they’d attempt to share with others, but just in case you have specific concerns about certain people viewing it, you may want to explore more secure options.

        • Anonymous says:

          Are you sure? I’m not looking at my Google photos right now, but I could swear I’ve clicked a “limit sharing” option there. In general, I find Google’s privacy protection and data security options really good, and I work in the field. The defaults aren’t necessarily great, but the options are there if you want to lock things down.

    • Depending on how close of relatives, buy them a digital picture frame you can email new pictures to.

    • avocado says:

      We use Vimeo for videos and Shutterfly albums for photos.

    • Anonymous says:

      We use Cluster for photo sharing with family. It’s an app but also has a website. Default notification setting is email, so they’d get an email with a link any time you upload a photo or video.

    • Sabba says:

      We use Shutterfly. Relatives can either download the app and get notifications of when we add photos or they can get a weekly/monthly email update or both.

  3. Paging Pogo says:

    If you’re still having difficulty with a blocked duct (I hope not though!) I got them a lot while [email protected] and what worked best was a hot compress for 2-3 minutes and then very firm massage *while* feeding.

  4. Uppababy says:

    Just a shout-out for their great customer support! Our 2016 cruz stroller was damaged when we gate-checked it, and we could not figure out to fix it- they are sending a new frame! We’ve loved the stroller system so far and I’m so thrilled we won’t have to get a new stroller.

    • You just reminded me I was going to email them about my difficulty folding our Vista – and then I found they have a ton of links addressing things like this on the website. Awesome!

  5. Anonymous says:

    For those of you with nannies, how do you handle sick days (or vacation days) with regard to overtime? Our nanny called out sick one day last week. She normally works 45 hours a week, but only worked 37 last week, plus the sick time. We have paid sick leave, but never talked about whether it would count towards overtime or not. Legally, I know we don’t have to give it to her, but it seems like a pay cut for her if we don’t– especially if she takes a week of vacation and doesn’t get any OT rate for the week.

    • I take paid absences and calculate them as though she worked the regular schedule. So, my nanny also works 45 hours a week, 40 regular and 5 overtime. If she agreed to stay an hour late one night one week and took a sick day that same week, I’d pay her for 46 hours (i.e. the same as if she worked a standard amount of hours the day she took off).

      I might be a sucker, though.

    • Do you guarantee a certain number of hours a week, even if not worked (e.g., we guarantee 50 hrs/week, so 40 @hrly rate and 10 @1.5x). If you do, I think it would be unfair to not count the sick or vacation time towards determining whether she gets OT for the week. If you don’t and just pay for hrs actually worked, I still think that would be the best thing to do and would be fair and reasonable. Maybe I’m a sucker, too, but I want the person who is taking care of my kid to be happy with the arrangement and not to have an incentive to come to work sick if she should really be taking sick leave.

      • Anonymous says:

        I feel the same way; my husband disagrees. I like your last sentence, though– I didn’t think about the incentive to come to work sick.

        • Yeah, I mean, I’d rather have to make last-minute alternate childcare arrangements than have my baby, my (asthmatic) spouse, and myself all get whatever my nanny has, and I’m sure my employer would as well.

      • Sabba says:

        I agree with this. We no longer have a nanny, but generally when facing issues like this, I tried to resolve questions like this in favor of her. I wanted my nanny to be happy and in the grand scheme of things the extra few dollars it would cost us on issues like this meant a lot less to our family than it did to her.

    • Anonymous says:

      I haven’t had this exact situation come up, but I’d pay anything over 40 hours at the overtime rate. It’s 5 hours x half her hourly rate – not worth potentially making her feel slighted. You could address this the next time you update her work agreement to specify the rate so everyone has the same expectations.

    • Anonymous says:

      Thanks all, appreciate the input. We’re going to give her the OT rate for anything over 40, regardless of whether she was at work or home sick.

  6. AwayEmily says:

    Just started pumping on my new Spectra over the weekend and it is GREAT. Thanks to everyone who recommended it! So far it’s both gentler and more efficient, but more importantly I’m so thrilled to never hear that Medela pump sound again. It echoes through my nightmares still.

    • 2 Cents says:

      I’m so glad to read your review! I ordered the Spectra S2 through insurance — this will be my first pumping experience.

    • Interesting. I have the spectra for work (conference calls) and the medela at home. 100% agree the spectra is way gentler, but it takes me 2x as long to get the same amount of milk as the PISA. Would definitely stick with the spectra for sound alone though.

  7. Anon for this says:

    I’m not sure who to talk to about this, so I hope you ladies have some advice. I am an anxious person by nature and often have sleep difficulties. For the past two years, it has been particularly bad, in part due to the election (I know that sounds silly, but the current parties in power have negatively impacted my family and also I live in an area where white supremacist and sexist rhetoric is on the rise and I encounter it frequently in my job), but also due to circumstances with my husband’s job where he’s been impacted negatively by a highly abusive situation. I also miscarried and then got pregnant again after the election and now have a 5-month baby.

    To give you an idea of how badly I’ve slept, I went through the entire exhausting first trimester averaging three hours of sleep a night while working full-time with a toddler! I can’t even describe that!

    Anyway, in the last month, I’ve hit my roughest part. I’m just not sleeping–I get panicky thinking about everything. And when I do finally get to sleep, the baby wakes up to nurse, so I’m probably averaging 3-4 hours of sleep per night, but that is frequently interrupted.

    I’m planning on speaking to my doctor about this, but I really don’t think this is specifically post-partum anxiety. My baby doesn’t make me feel anxious and things with her are fine–though I am sleep deprived, so there’s that! And I’m actually fairly functional on so little sleep, but I know its not ok and I just hate lying in bed each night not sleeping and feel panicked. I also want to keep nursing, so any medicine needs to be okay for that. And I live in a rural area where any counseling services are at least an hour drive one way, so the idea of driving frequently for that and fitting it into my schedule is leaving me equally stressed out.

    I don’t even know what kind of advice I need. Advice on meds from your own experience? Whether post-partum stuff could still be making this worse even if it’s not tied directly to the baby? Things I can do to help myself?

    Thank you for any advice you have to share!

    • Anonymous says:

      All the hugs. Are you working or still on maternity leave? That affects the suggestions I have on getting more sleep. My lactation consultant said it’s important for milk production to get at least 6 hours in every 24 hours preferably with at least one 4 hour stretch. So give yourself permission to prioritze sleep, at the expense of laundry/household stuff/social schedule.

      I know external circumstances are very stressful but this is a ‘put on your own oxygen mask first ‘ situation. You can’t take care of anyone else or help them unless you take care of yourself first.

    • A couple of thoughts. #1 I had a lot of trouble sleeping when my thyroid ramped up after my first was born. Thyroid problems are pretty common postpartum, so it might be worth a check. #2 I find that I REALLY have to disconnect before bedtime with 2 kids and a job. I do about 10-15 min of yoga and meditation before bed and it really has improved my sleep.

      • NewMomAnon says:

        So many +1’s to the thyroid call-out – the “racing mind, insomnia, anxiety, but still somewhat functional” is exactly what my hyperthyroid stage feels like. Especially combined with stomach troubles, being too hot/sweaty, oily skin, suppressed appetite, and maybe weight loss.

    • Cornellian says:

      I would definitely speak to a psychiatrist, and a perinatal one if possible. There are many meds that are compatible with nursing, especially as your baby starts eating solids and milk intake declines. Anecdotally (I am not a doctor), my perinatal psychiatrist has had me try seroquel and valium, both at low doses. Lithium is one med that might otherwise be helpful to you that may be a non-starter if you want to keep nursing (at least until baby is older). But there are nursing compatible options.

      Before I was on psych meds I sometimes took a half dose of benadryl at night. It clears your system pretty quickly, although it can lower supply. Taking a half dose a couple times a week didn’t affect my supply.

    • Post-partum anxiety doesn’t mean that you have anxiety tied to the baby. It is just anxiety that occurs after pregnancy. It can absolutely be about external factors, such as the political climate. I normally have moderate anxiety that thankfully wasn’t an issue while I was pregnant and EBF. I happened to drop feeds right around the election and my anxiety started to spike, and peaked right around January of last year. I was going on regular anxiety spirals about political issues, as well as other triggers. I tried therapy, but honestly the one thing that worked for me was Lexapro. You may be able to function without much sleep, but I cannot imagine that living with that level of anxiety is making for a very happy life. Please consider getting whatever treatment you need, despite the hurdles.

    • Nadezhda says:

      Routines can really help calm anxiety – though that requires the whole family to be on board – but even making the same meals on a schedule, or doing the same work activities in order, stuff like that, can help. Also, some therapists do remote (via telecon/videocon) sessions so no drive. Might be worth looking for one that specializes in cognitive-behavioral sleep therapy — it has been shown to be really effective for this kind of sleep problem.

    • Anonymous says:

      1- you can get counseling virtually. Call therapists, ask if they will agree to see you via Skype, Facetime, or regular old telephone.
      2- This is anxiety. Anxiety lies. “Postpartum anxiety” means anxiety that manifests during the postpartum period – it is not limited to anxiety about the baby. Ask your doc about zoloft – it was life-changing for me and it’s safe for BFing.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says:

      Hugs. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can relate to a lot of this. I’ve always had some form of anxiety, but right around the end of law school/starting at my first (BigLaw) job, I started to get insomnia related to the anxiety. I went to see my PCP and got a prescription for Ambien. It helped instantly with the insomnia. This was pre-baby so I didn’t have those considerations at the time.

      After my son was born, I dealt with more anxiety/depression, possibly post-partum related, but I also had some other life circumstances that made this a difficult time period. I also remembering feeling so anxious about the election and the possible impacts. I started seeing a therapist again and also got a prescription for a low dose of zoloft, which I still take. I would see if you could get a prescription from your PCP if it takes too long to see a psychiatrist in your area – PCPs should be able to do this given your symptoms. Zoloft is considered one of the safer SSRIs for pregnancy/nursing. I know that it’s not 100% safe, but I weigh the risks and benefits, and to me, the benefits of not feeling constantly anxious with my heart sinking are worth it. It has made me feel much better overall and it’s also allowed me to be more open about my anxieties with others, including in therapy, which I think has helped too. I agree that the election and everything going on are objectively bad, but you should be able to still function and get the sleep you need despite all of this. I believe that low doses of Ambien are also safe with b-feeding, although most doctors are more concerned with the lack of ability to wake up to feed/care for the baby, than with medication effects. I took occasional Ambien while b-feeding, FWIW.

      BTW, if you need to take a medication that is incompatible with b-feeding, or if you feel you don’t want to take the risks to the baby, then you should absolutely feel free to stop b-feeding. Your baby will benefit so much more from a happy, rested mom than an anxious one who happens to be providing b-milk.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says:

      (in mod, sorry if this posts twice) Hugs. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can relate to a lot of this. I’ve always had some form of anxiety, but right around the end of law school/starting at my first (BigLaw) job, I started to get insomnia related to the anxiety. I went to see my PCP and got a prescription for Ambien. It helped instantly with the insomnia. This was pre-baby so I didn’t have those considerations at the time.

      After my son was born, I dealt with more anxiety/depression, possibly post-partum related, but I also had some other life circumstances that made this a difficult time period. I also remembering feeling so anxious about the election and the possible impacts. I started seeing a therapist again and also got a prescription for a low dose of zoloft, which I still take. I would see if you could get a prescription from your PCP if it takes too long to see a psychiatrist in your area – PCPs should be able to do this given your symptoms. Zoloft is considered one of the safer SSRIs for pregnancy/nursing. I know that it’s not 100% safe, but I weigh the risks and benefits, and to me, the benefits of not feeling constantly anxious with my heart sinking are worth it. It has made me feel much better overall and it’s also allowed me to be more open about my anxieties with others, including in therapy, which I think has helped too. I agree that the election and everything going on are objectively bad, but you should be able to still function and get the sleep you need despite all of this. I believe that low doses of Ambien are also safe with b-feeding, although most doctors are more concerned with the lack of ability to wake up to feed/care for the baby, than with medication effects. I took occasional Ambien while b-feeding, FWIW.

      BTW, if you need to take a medication that is incompatible with b-feeding, or if you feel you don’t want to take the risks to the baby, then you should absolutely feel free to stop b-feeding. Your baby will benefit so much more from a happy, rested mom than an anxious one who happens to be providing b-milk.

    • I went on Zoloft for similar symptoms and it was/is a life changer. However I also did the following to aid sleep:
      1) magnesium supplement. Especially since you are nursing. Post-partum I needed a super high does of magnesium to supplement bc baby was taking all of it. Now that I am done nursing, I am down to a 1/3 of that dose, but I still take it daily. The general rule with magnesium is to keep upping the does until your stool gets runny and then back up to the previous dose, then you know you are taking the right amount. Another way to get magnesium without taking it is an Epsom salt bath. Even on Zoloft, I can immediately see the effective on my sleep if I forget to take magnesium.
      2) Melatonin. Although I just remembered that maybe you can’t take this while BFing? So definitely check with your doctor.

      Getting quality sleep is so important in treating my anxiety, so I try to prioritize it. Although I get that this is so hard with a nursing baby!

    • Anonymous says:

      I’ve posted this before, but this is a good resource for research on mental health meds and breastfeeding (and pregnancy too):

    • Sabba says:

      I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I agree with other comments that you should discuss with your doctor, as PPA can arise in many ways. Also, I am going to share a few things that have helped me, none have been 100%, but maybe something will resonate for you. First, start with the basics. Are there any little steps you can do to eat better, get some exercise or nature in (even a 10 minute walk), drink more water, etc? Second, start a gratitude journal–just one sentence a day. Third, try to read or listen to something uplifting for a few minutes a day. I probably read Desiderata once a week and I subscribed to a podcast that does 10 to 15 minute meditations that I listen to before bed. Fourth, cut out some of your triggers. Don’t do that Google search or go on social media or turn on the news or whatever it is that will fuel your anxiety. Fifth, treat yo self. Make space for things that make you happy–a phone call or text to a friend, a monthly massage, watching a TV show with your spouse, whatever it is make it a scheduled priority. Sixth, try to find small ways to be kind to others because it really helps you feel better about yourself. It doesn’t have to be big things, just look for opportunities for kindness and do it–hold the door for someone or jot a quick postcard to a local child in the hospital or whatever. Seventh, try to bring yourself to the present moment and deal with it. I’m often overwhelmed by the big picture of things going on in this country, but if I bring it back to “right now” usually nothing is terribly wrong in the moment. Don’t let the bad things have such power that they shadow your entire existence. Focus on right now–for example, I can appreciate that right now I am reading this book to my child, right now I am driving in the car with my child and she is not whining and her favorite song is on, right now I am doing these dishes and the soap smells nice, or whatever. This one can be difficult, but it helps when I frame it to myself as an act of resistance to refuse to allow others to control what I am feeling from moment to moment.

      • rosie says:

        Do you recommend your meditation podcast? If so, can you share the name? Sounds intriguing.

        • Sabba says:

          Oops, I replied to the wrong comment somehow! Please see below as a response to Megs . . .

    • Anon for this says:

      OP here–Thank you, everyone, for your helpful advice and kind words. I always appreciate the community that is here, but especially today!

      • If you want an alternative that is non-medicinal, check out the dreampad pillow. It’s like a sound machine, but plays sound waves through your ear drum and it calms my racing brain like nothing else.

        • Sabba says:

          There may be better options, but I have been using “Meditation Minis” by Chel Hamilton. I can’t say that I love them, but it hits on topics that I want to work on and the length is right for me. Hope this isn’t too late for you to see!

  8. Legally Brunette says:

    I would like to start engaging my 5 year old in some volunteer activities on the weekend but not sure what would be kid appropriate. What sort of volunteering do you do with your child, and at what age did you start? Seems like a soup kitchen wouldn’t want a kid to volunteer, but correct me if I’m wrong. Thanks!

    • Is your kiddo in kindergarten yet? Our elementary school has had a couple of volunteer school beautification workdays. We went to one, and it was nice.

    • Mama Llama says:

      You might be interested in this discussion from last week.

    • Carine says:

      I have a 5yo and we’ve done a few one-off activities organized through Girl Scouts, like prepping birthday bags (donations of cake mix, frosting, candles, etc.) and taking them to the food bank run by a church. Our local Ronald McDonald house is always looking for groups to come and prep meals for their residents, which a 5yo might be able to help with, or they often need donations of single serve snacks or toiletry items, so we buy those and drop them off. The SPCA/Humane Society will usually take donations, too, so that could be an option. I imagine you wouldn’t want to buy things every weekend but for the occasional experience I think it’s good for that age and low commitment when you already have a lot going on.

      We also attend organized community clean-ups in our local park. Our city does biannual events for waterways and the ‘Keep Insert City Name Beautiful’ campaign, which I think is a national effort and might happen near you. We sometimes take a garbage bag with us when we go to a park/creek and pick up trash while we play.

      I’d recommend just looking for a few local non-profit organizations that do work you value, finding out what their needs are, and asking them about involving kids. If you don’t have an affiliation with a church, scouts, junior league, or neighborhood association to mine for opportunities, I’d also check with your city/township.

    • avocado says:

      To echo a suggestion someone else made last week: Girl Scouts is perfect for this. Our troop does several community service events each year, all age-appropriate and tailored to the girls’ interests. They have sorted food for a church food pantry, gone to the grocery store to buy ingredients for Thanksgiving dinners on a budget and then boxed up the food for families, led educational programs for younger kids, helped out at the animal shelter, and made fleece blankets for childhood cancer patients.

      We have also had good experiences with one-day volunteer events hosted by my husband’s employer.

      I would be cautious and follow your child’s lead regarding volunteer work involving client contact, especially if the clients are adults rather than children. My 11-year-old enjoys donating (her own money which we match 100%) and doing behind-the-scenes work like cooking, painting, and cleaning, but is really uncomfortable serving food at the soup kitchen, handing out socks to homeless people, etc. Her dad thinks we should force her to interact with these programs’ clients so she can “learn about the real world,” but I think this could backfire in a big way. I would rather see her have a positive experience doing what she’s comfortable with than learn to hate volunteer work because it frightens her.

      • avocado says:

        Adding: Girl Scouts has also planted a garden at the elementary school and done several trash cleanups in various locations. I can’t say enough good things about our Girl Scout troop.

    • I’ve volunteered with an organization that brings meals to the elderly at certain holidays – you go visit one person and sit with them for 30 min. to an hour – and they have family visits with kids 5+. There are probably similar organizations that deliver multiple meals without the visit, if you think that would be easier for your child.
      I found it very rewarding and plan to take my daughter when she’s old enough.

    • Blueberries says:

      We clean up our local hiking trail. My preschooler is competent at this activity and my 1 year old can happily play with rocks and point out trash. We do it independently, so we can go whenever we like and no one is relying on us if it turns out not to be a great day for us to go.

  9. When I was that age, my mom would go with me and my brother to visit a woman in a retirement home that didn’t have any family in the area to visit. It’s probably the one “useful” thing young kids can do, since these were seniors who signed up so they could interact with young people.

    • mumumum says:

      +1 Please do this if it’s possible in your area! I took my son to see his great grandmother at her nursing home this weekend, and there was literally a crowd of seniors around our table in the dining room wanting to see the baby and lot of “I have a grandson who’s 2 but he lives in Alberta”-type commentary.

    • Legally Brunette says:

      I LOVE this idea! My extroverted 5 year old would be all over this.

      Thanks everyone for the great ideas!

    • +1 Remembered this idea from another blog and thinking about doing it with my kids. We have a nursing home down the street from us and older people seem to really enjoy interacting with the kids.

    • We visited the same woman for a couple of years until her Alzheimer’s got too severe and we were told not to. I remember drawing pictures for her and the candy she would share and stories she told us… my mom later said it was as much for as as for her, since our grandparents lived hours away. Definitely something I want to do with my (touch wood!) future kids. Glad everybody likes the idea :-)

  10. Looking for advice and/or maybe just commiseration. My 7-month old is a great sleeper 6 nights out of 7, sleeping 7pm – 7am with a dream feed around 10:00pm. And on the 7th night, he wakes up around 3:30/4:00 AM. The *good* thing is that, when he wakes at 3:30 he isn’t crying – just sitting and babbling. We’ve done CIO so my instinct is to just leave him alone, but with the monitor, I can hear him babbling and of course can’t sleep through it. Eventually, the babbling turns into crying (last night after 45 minutes). We’ve tried going in and trying to get him back to sleep – usually my husband makes the attempt because I don’t want him to smell my milk and think he gets to nurse. We’ve tried going in earlier, we’ve tried letting him just be. Really, at whatever point we enter the room it immediately escalates into screaming. Last night my husband stuck him in the carseat and went for a drive – which is not a long term solution, but that way at least two of us got to sleep.

    I have no idea what to do. Seems like it only happens on weekends, but this is an awful way to start Monday morning. Any ideas?

    • If it only happens on weekends, could it be something to do with different food intake during the day or different nap habits (assuming that your baby is not with you all the time during the week so is in some kind of care that presumably does things slightly differently than you)?

      • Anonymous says:

        Could he be extra tired during the week from all the stimulation at daycare and all of his “friends”, while the weekends at home are pretty chill, so he’s rested and awake?

    • Because it seems to be consistent, is there something that happens that wakes him up at that time? That’s something I read about here – weirdly regular wakeups being due to a neighbor leaving early, or the garbage truck or something like that. Different noises, light shining in his room, etc. Blackout curtains and a sound machine?

    • Anonymous says:

      If it’s only 1/7 nights then I would be cautious about changing too much. Have you tried keeping a food diary for a couple weeks? If it only happens on weekends I wonder if it’s something different you are eating. Green peas and quinoa made my youngest so gassy/crampy that he would consistently wake up at night after he ate it for supper.

      Also, my kids always slept much longer/better for nap times at home vs at daycare but that sometimes meant we had to cut their weekend nap short and wake them up. Try to keep his naps consistent with daycare timing/length.

    • Anonymous says:

      My son did something similar more consistently, and I think in hindsight the problem was he was getting too much sleep during the day (bedtime was too early but he didn’t take a third nap and couldn’t stay awake later). So is your son getting longer naps on the weekend or something? If so try cutting back. For us this started around 4 months. My son would wake up crying, so I would nurse him and then put him back in the crib awake (he never nursed back to sleep in the middle of the night for some reason). Then he would roll around babbling for up to an hour before falling back to sleep. Occasionally he would start fussing and I would nurse him a second time. It stopped on its own after a while, but it was maddening. Does nursing help him settle? It is possible he is noticing he’s hungry once he has been awake for a while, and it isn’t necessarily going to make him more likely to keep waking up in the middle of the night.

    • AwayEmily says:

      I think your instinct is right. Leave him alone and maybe just turn off the monitor? Or, if that is too scary, then maybe just one of you can be on “baby monitor duty” and the other one gets to sleep? Maybe it is because of daycare nap differences, maybe it’s because he gets less or more exercise on the weekends, maybe it’s something else…but my advice (given that he is generally a great sleeper and he gets plenty of opportunity to sleep) would be to trust that he knows how to get the sleep that he needs. I bet this is a stage that is over soon, but responding to it might make it a bad habit that takes longer to break.

  11. I’d like to send a valentines treat for my one-year old’s teachers (can you call them teachers? idk, but they’re angels.) – any good ideas? The easiest thing for me is a box of donuts bought on the way in, but are they going to get a bunch of sugar from everyone else that day too? Any cute ideas?

    Similarly – my kid will be one next Monday. Bring treats for the class? They’re so young – he’s one of the oldest – so no one will get it and I’d probably just be throwing them off the schedule, right? Maybe I bring treats in for the teachers on Monday instead of V-day and let them celebrate his birthday?

    Yes, I am clearly overthinking this!

    • For teachers, bring in a carafe of coffee from Dunkin or the like, complete with cups and sugar and such. Alternatively, give them gift cards to Target or Starbucks – you can write “I like you a latte” on it.

      For the birthday at that age, one kid brought in board books from the dollar spot, with a bookmark that said something like “Thanks for celebrating my first year with me” or something. Another kid brought mini bubbles with a tag that just said “Happy 1st bday [Name]”.

  12. Can someone recommend a good scent free bug spray? Has anyone used the children formulas on themselves?


    • Anonymous says:

      Not scent free, but look for bug spray with 20% picaridin as opposed to deet as the active ingredient. Picaridin at this percentage is just as effective as deet but safe to use on kids and pregnant women. It has a scent but it is quite pleasant and nothing like deet. I have purchased the Natrapel brand off of amazon, but recently found other brands at drug stores as well (I am in Canada where picaridin only recently became available, I was previously ordering from the US).

      This article is pretty good and is how I got on the Picardin bandwagon:

  13. Peter Rabbit says:

    PSA for any allergy parents – the Peter Rabbit movie contains a scene where the characters attack someone with their allergen food until they suffer anaphylaxis. Character with allergy is not transported to hospital so that also minimizes the seriousness of anaphylaxis.

    So disappointed as my 6 year old loves Peter Rabbit and that scenario is literally her worst nightmare. Have no idea how this ended up in a movie.

    • Anonymous says:

      While I am sympathetic to allergy-sufferers (and have shellfish allergies in my immediate family, so I get how frightening and real it can be), I also think there’s a certain point where it’s a movie and you have to separate it from reality. There are also talking bunnies that wear clothes…

      • Peter Rabbit says:

        The person who is attacked is shown as a person in the movie, not a rabbit. And it’s treated like you just stab yourself with an epipen and you’re fine. An epipen just buys you enough time to get the hospital. Further, I think we all know how ‘real’ these characters can be to kids. Pretending like this is ‘slapstick’ comedy like stepping on a rake or tripping someone into a mud puddle completely minimizes the seriousness.

        A kid literally died from this exact scenario last year because his epipen wasn’t enough to get him to the hosptial and the reaction was so severe.

        My 6 year old has had anaphylaxis 3 times because her dairy allergy hasn’t been taken seriously. But sure, it’s funny because it’s just ‘bunnies in clothes’…

        • Anonymous says:

          But com’on now, where’s the line? At some point, we can’t make fun of anything anymore. I mean, sheesh. Of all comedy is poking fun at something that someone out there could be bothered by it.

          • Peter Rabbit says:

            How about we just not make fun of people dying? Is that a clear enough line for you?

          • Pregnant with #2 says:

            Anon @ 1:42 I hope you are a troll. This is a kid’s movie… the line is pretty clearly sometime BEFORE attacking a character with an allergy in a way that, in real life, could and has caused DEATH. This is not a Daniel Tosh standup routine…

      • Legally Brunette says:

        But when kids are literally dying from allergic reactions, why would a movie make light of this? So many other ways to be funny.

        • Anonymous says:

          The next thing you know people that have stepped on rakes and been hit in the face will start speaking up, upset that the movie is using that as a pratfall.

          • Peter Rabbit says:

            It’s almost like you can’t understand the difference between a non-fatal injury and death. When we have problems with kids DYING from mud puddles, it might be an apt comparison.

          • An intentional “allergen attack” is qualitatively different than the goofy violence from Home Alone where a guy gets hit in the face with a rake. There is no group of kids who have an inherent, immutable quality that make them more likely to die or be seriously injured by a rake attack … it’s a cartoonish fantasy that kids recognize as an absurdity.

            Kids with allergies are already viewed with derision and scorn from parents and kids who think they’re exaggerating, and/or who don’t like the inconvenience of “nut free” guidelines in schools. Now, a kid’s movie is making it cool to laugh as someone going through a medical crisis that is literally these kids’ worst nightmare.

            I assume in the sequel they’re planning to kill off a diabetic bad guy by stealing his insulin? Or were they planning to steal the bad guy’s inhaler, then watch him die of a an asthma attack?

      • PregLawyer says:

        I don’t know the context of the scene, but how is this any different than any other bullying scene or violence in a kid’s movie? I mean, Moana has a giant lava monster attacking and trying to kill Maui and Moana. That freaks my kid out. Isn’t the point to identify scary-ish things for kids to add drama to the movie?

        • Peter Rabbit says:

          Does your kid encounter lava monsters on a daily basis? That’s the difference.

          What they do to the character is something that is a real fear for allergic kids that they have to face every single day.

          • Critical Carpool Parent says:

            Exactly right. Apparently there’s also a suggestion in the movie that food allergies are “made up for attention.” I can’t believe this ended up in a kids’ movie. This is an everyday reality for so many children. My older daughter has seen me use an epinephrine injector on her younger sister. She was terrified then, and she’d be absolutely terrified if she saw this movie.

          • PregLawyer says:

            Well, my kid has a real fear of lava monsters, but that’s besides the point.

            I read more about the movie. So, as I understand it, the rabbits are fighting back against an evil character trying to kill them, and one of their methods of fighting back is pelting the bad guy with an allergen (blackberries). I’m trying to think of other things I’ve seen in kids movies that they could have done. Let’s take Home Alone, for example. I think we’d all agree that Home Alone is full of “antics” that could result in serious physical injury or the death of the adult. Theoretically, any kid could watch that movie and then replicate that as bullying against other kids or adults. Are we supposed to boycott Home Alone?

            I’m not sure what general rule you’re advocating for here. Not having depictions of realistic pain/loss/threats in kids’ movies? Not showing any aggression or bullying?

        • Blueberries says:

          I think the difference is that it’s pretty easy for a kid to see the allergy attack scene and think it’d be funny/ok if they were upset to attack a classmate with an allergen. And that it’d be no big deal. Allergens tend to be readily available while the power to turn into a lava monster is not.

          • I understand the seriousness, and haven’t seen the movie so can’t comment on the scene, but wouldn’t this be true for Home Alone ‘antics’ also? Just curious.

          • Peter Rabbit says:

            Home Alone has been out for a long time. How many kids have died copying Home Alone antics?

            Because kids were dying in school from allergic bullying even before this movie came out. And this movie treats it like a joke that’s completely fixable with a quick epipen.

        • Peter Rabbit says:

          Are the ‘antics’ in Home Alone things that have happened and killed kids in school?

          Allergic bullying has directly caused the death of children. How about we have kids movies that not make jokes about things have actually killed kids?

          Would you be okay with it if a movie showed characters pouring lysol cleaning fluid down someone’s throat or tossing tide pods into their mouth? The level of risk for severely allergic kids is similar.

          • Peter Rabbit says:

            This was a response to PregLawyer.

          • PregLawyer says:

            Re: Lysol, I do love Heathers, but yes – I get your point that it’s inappropriate for kids.

            After reading more about it, I think my bigger concern with this movie is not the fact of the allergic reaction, but instead the fact that the hero is using it as a way to attack the bad guy. I think it makes perfect sense to have a movie depicting bad characters doing bad things–even if those things are realistic and scary to little kids. We do that all the time in kids movies. It provides a teaching moment to kids to explain that this is a bad thing that bad people do. The thing that’s weirder to me is that they show this as an acceptable method of fighting back. Maybe that’s the bigger problem here?

        • Allergies are different from a lava monster because they’re real. My kids are similarly freaked out by the lava monster, but I can tell them it’s just pretend.

          I haven’t see Peter Rabbit, but I think it’s really dangerous to downplay the seriousness of food allergies. Neither of my kids have allergies that we are aware of, but they are both in nut-free classrooms due to other kids’ allergies. It’s important that they know how serious food allergies can be, for the safety of their fellow classmates.

          It’s not nearly as serious, but I have celiac’s disease. I can’t tell you how many times I have been “glutened” (served gluten by a restaurant that either doesn’t believe me, or doesn’t know enough to prevent contamination) because waiters/chefs don’t take this kind of stuff seriously.

          Compare the description of Peter Rabbit to the bees in My Girl, where Thomas J dies and the audience understands how serious allergies can be. I think the OP is partly upset because the plot of the movie (wherein allergy exposure can be immediately cured with an epipen) is inaccurate and misleading to viewers.

          • This may be too much of an aside, but as someone with non life threatening food allergies to some pretty random things, I am much more concerned with people labeling their food dislikes as allergies and calling their low carb diet a gluten allergy than I am with potential jokes about the subject in a kids movie. I think it’s the self diagnosing that leads to people in restaurants, etc., not taking it seriously. I’m not suggesting both shouldn’t be addressed, but I think the lack of taking it seriously stems much more from one than the other.

          • I’m the anon from 2:10, and I totally agree with this. It’s almost less safe for me to go to a restaurant now than it was 15 years ago before it was such a fad to go gluten-free. And don’t get me started on people who tell me they went gluten-free even though their doctor said they don’t have an allergy or an autoimmune disease, and they just feel so much better! Well, no s**t, you are eating way fewer refined carbs and more fruits/veggies, of course you feel better! /end rant

          • avocado says:

            I agree 100% about the self-diagnosed “allergies” and personal preferences. I feel the same way about “emotional support animals.” The poorly trained fake service dog that I saw sniffing the produce in Trader Joe’s undermines the legitimacy of true service animals that are well trained to perform specific tasks and are always attentive to their jobs, just as self-diagnosed “gluten intolerance” undermines the perceived legitimacy of a real celiac disease diagnosis. (And yes, my dear family members, I am looking at you. You know who you are.)

            But the idea of animals using allergenic foods as a weapon against people in a movie is also just … weird?

        • Anonymous says:

          Here, this is how it’s different. From the NYTimes:

          “In a quest to gain access to his garden, rabbits pelt him with fruits and vegetables before using a slingshot to send a blackberry flying into his mouth. It works. Mr. McGregor struggles to inject himself with an EpiPen and then has anaphylaxis and collapses. … When the rabbits fire a blackberry into Mr. McGregor’s mouth … ‘there’s a close-up of his face, and it’s him holding his neck like he’s choking.’ When Mr. McGregor collapses and appears to be dead for a moment, the rabbits cheer.”

          This literally makes me so made I could spit. This is not funny. Children actually die from allergies. This is completely inappropriate for a children’s film. End of story.

    • This is awful and thank you for sharing. My assistant’s son has a severe anaphylactic peanut allergy. He was bullied at a baseball tournament when kids started throwing peanuts at him. It’s a real thing.

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