My youngest is going through a trash truck phase and this is his absolute favorite toy.
This colorful Duplo set is perfect for toddlers. As with all Duplos, the larger blocks are easier to grip and snap together than traditional Legos. This set includes a recycling man and a child, a moveable truck that tips, three bags and trash cans, a broom, a bench, and a few blocks.
There’s plenty for endless imaginative play — my kid likes to stuff the truck with all the accessories and make the “beep, beep, beep” sound when he backs it up. Just like trucks IRL.
This Duplo set is $19.99 at Target and also available at Amazon.
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price tops and sweaters; up to 40% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything; extra 15% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything; up to 50% off clearance; extra 15% off orders $100+; extra 20% off orders $125+
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Talbots – 30% off entire purchase
- Zappos – 24,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Hanna Andersson – 100s of new markdowns; up to 30% off Easter
- Carter’s – Swim 50% off; up to 50% off sandals; up to 50% off spring break deals
- buybuyBaby – Major clearance markdowns
Cb says
Those are adorable! I really wanted the duplo camping set, but my son declared himself “too old” for duplos at 3.5 and now we’re just drowning in Lego.
EDAnon says
I am also drowning in Lego! Our cleaners are coming today and I spent forever picking up legos (I know the plural is lego, but I don’t like it!). My son is so engaged and creative with them. We love it. But man, we need a better clean strategy because the big kits have tons of pieces and take a long time.
Cb says
Ah, I bought these crazy sock organisers at TJ Maxx, a shallow and flat box, which seems to work well. And repurposed a big serving tray from IKEA which works well for projects in progress.
EDAnon says
We use half cookie sheets for taking them in the car. But I do have a bigger tray that would be perfect for home projects! Thanks!
Anon says
I ban legos to our enclosed porch, which our cleaners don’t clean. I am missing three quarters of the bowls from my kitchen which have been repurposed for sorting various steps and projects, but until we start having summer BBQs again, they can make as much mess as they want out there. Plus it is super cute to listen to DH and DD (4) building together.
My indoor nemesis is barbie shoes. But since we got the robot vacuum, the desire to play with the vacuum appears to be motivating to DD to put them in the zippered pouch where they belong. My house has not been this clean ever, and it’s not the vacuuming that is making the difference. TBD when the novelty wears off, but we’re going on two weeks strong.
Anonymous says
The Duplo camping set is so cute! Lego used to make a garbage truck for older kids, but sadly it was discontinued. My nephew just had a garbage truck themed party for his fifth birthday, so I gave him the Playmobil recycling truck. It was a hit.
Anon says
For those who are still being covid cautious because of an unvaxxed kid, would you go to a wedding in Mexico that requires a layover? So basically two 2 hour flights each way but would wear a kn95 and somehow try not to eat or drink the whole time. Some indoor events. From reading some posts on here, sounds like people have gotten it at weddings recently—were those indoor weddings and were people unmasked? Just wondering if I’m masked when indoors if that would help or not or if people are just getting it regardless.
Anon says
I think being masked indoors helps a lot. We’re back to normal-ish life with masks indoors and still haven’t gotten it. I know there’s an element of luck but I’ve been in 6,000 person theaters where statistically someone *had* to be infectious. I’d go to the wedding but mask up for indoor events (and skip food or take food outside). N95s for the flights and if you have to eat, only eat mid flight when air filtering is good.
Cb says
I fly weekly wearing an FF2 mask and feel safe/haven’t knowingly gotten Covid yet. I feel like my unvaccinated son who is around 50 kids everyday is likely to be patient 0 anyways though, so perhaps this has impacted my assessment. But no one is testing in the UK, so we could have it and not know it.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, masks make a huge difference, I think. That being said, be prepared to feel social pressure (not deliberate!) to take the mask off. My husband went to a conference recently and he was the only masked person there (we have two unvaxed kids), and he said it definitely felt uncomfortable. I had the same experience at a social thing recently. Everyone was super nice and nobody said anything at all (or even looked like they were judging!), but it can feel weird to be the only one masked when everyone else isn’t.
Anonymous says
This. The pressure to unmask is subtle but intense. If you are not 100% sure you and your spouse will stand your ground, I’d skip it.
I’d also be concerned with testing positive and getting stuck abroad no matter how careful you’ve been.
anonymous says
Assuming you are in the US, is a negative covid test still required for entry back into the country? That is my main concern with traveling internationally. I wouldn’t want to get risk getting stuck on the way back.
Anon says
Yes, it is still a requirement, and it is why I’ve told work that I can’t travel internationally until it is lifted. I’m not willing to risk a breakthrough infection or exposure and getting stuck abroad and away from my 1.5 year old for an extra 10 days.
(I’m also 5 weeks pregnant, which I haven’t told them yet, so I wouldn’t travel at all right now b/c I don’t want a fever during my first trimester).
Anon says
OP here–congrats on the pregnancy!!!!
anon says
Would you be okay being stuck in Mexico? We were there over the holidays (peak of Omicron v.1.0) and the resort was offering Americans PCR covid testing for their return flights. From our count while waiting in line for our own test, about 1 in 4 families were having someone test positive. This led to the families being escorted from the resort by people in hazmat suits and placed in a taxi. They then had to find their own covid-accommodations in Mexico to wait it out until they could get a negative test.
Anon says
You don’t need a PCR to get home and a surprise positive on a PCR is waaaay more likely than on an antigen (because it can pick up an infection from months ago even if you’re no longer infectious). Antigen test always for returning to the US.
anon says
Sorry. I misspoke. These were proctored rapid antigen tests. Lots of surprise positive tests given the looks on people’s faces when they were being escorted out.
Anon says
1 in 4 seems crazy high unless there was some kind of Covid outbreak at the resort. I’m at a dozen trips and counting in the Covid era now (we test even when returning from domestic travel) and have never gotten a positive. Granted we’re still pretty cautious and mask in public and don’t do indoor dining, but I have a lot of friends who’ve traveled a lot and never had a positive test. Of course any time you travel – any time you leave your house – there’s a non zero chance of getting Covid. But the risk of getting it on any one trip is objectively very small.
Anon says
OP here. Thank you all for your advice and the considerations! I also appreciate hearing everyone’s real life experiences. Yes being the only masked person sucks! I’ve done it to quite a few events and even though everyone has been kind about it, it’s just awkward being the only one. It’s why I don’t do too many social events indoors if I know I’m going to be the only one. Good idea to only eat/drink mid-flight (was wondering how I would do 6-7 hours without eating/drinking). In the airport itself, do you think it would be ok to eat/drink if I did do quickly and was like 20 feet away from people? And thanks for everyone mentioning the testing requirement to get back in. Actually that was the reason why I wasn’t planning on going in the first place because I didn’t want to get stuck there for another week (I could definitely work from there but I wouldn’t want to be away from my kid for that long for something like quarantining). I guess I was thinking if I were careful, only went to outdoor events and masked the whole time during the flights, layover and any indoor events, I wouldn’t catch it and then wouldn’t get stuck. But now it’s got me reconsidering again….
Anonymous says
I think the probability of catching it is reasonably low, but the potential consequences (getting stuck) are very serious.
Anon says
This. And for this reason, I’d skip it (also have kids too young to be vaxxed) unless it was a super-close relative and I felt I couldn’t miss it. In that case, I’d test daily when I get home.
Anonymous says
I’d go but you shouldn’t. It’s not realistic to think you can do this with zero chance of covid
Anonymous says
No to weddings or travel with unvaccinated kids here.
AwayEmily says
Remember on Tuesday when I complained about my baby being suspended from daycare because she had a giant blowout? Well, it turns out that there was a COVID exposure in her room while she was out, which means that if she had been there then both her AND her big brother would have been out of school all next week. Silver lining, I suppose. These under-5 vaccines cannot come soon enough.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Nice! I hope all daycares adopt the test and stay approach once vaccines are available to everyone – it’s ridiculous to keep quarantining kids for every positive.
Cornellian says
Wow! Bullet dodged.
Looks like Moderna in late June, perhaps?!?!
EDAnon says
It is nice when that happens. And yes. I feel like my kids will be 5 before the under 5 gets approved (and he’s only 3.5).
Pogo says
take the win!!!!
Anon says
Ugh our preschool ended mandatory masking. I know we can’t do this forever but its terrible timing with the little kid vaccine hopefully only a month away. Honestly I’m fine with the kids not masking since they have masks off to eat and sleep anyway but I really wish they would have kept staff in masks until the under 5 vaccine is widely available. Would you still have your kid mask? Cases are high but not crazy in our area, but I know a lot are unreported. Our kid does wear a KN95 (fit is not perfect) and doesn’t really mind, but I suspect would get it regardless if exposed, due to having the mask off for about half the day. So I guess I’m inclined to let her go without, but it feels weird since we’ve been so cautious and would still want her to mask in most public places and indoor activities.
anon says
Nope, got my kid out of masks as soon as we were allowed.
Spirograph says
We delayed a week because they dropped the mask requirement right before we were scheduled to go on a cruise for spring break, and I wanted the best chance of NOT ruining our vacation. But otherwise, same. My kids are older, but I feel like masks on preschoolers are mostly theater.
Anon says
+1.
anon says
+2. My 3 year old is still in masks for preschool but I will happily stop masking him as soon as they give thumbs up.
Mary Moo Cow says
+3. Our kids dropped the mask as soon as it was optional and older daughter had a marked (positive) change in happiness and social behavior at school. School went on to have 2+ months of zero cases and now only has 5 known cases, so it feels like a justifiable decision.
Anon says
Me too. Even though I am high risk. DD only tolerates cotton masks without constant vigilance (as do most of the kids in her class) and the pictures showed a lot of noses. My assessment was that it was just theatre in that environment. No positive cases since they dropped masking, 1 week left to go. I do have her mask on the rare occasion we will be indoors in public outside of preschool and then I have her double mask with a disposable underneath the cotton but it is a constant battle with her to keep the double mask on that I wouldn’t ask a teacher to do. Counting down the days until August when she turns 5.
Anon says
Just a data point. In our class of 3-4 year olds the teachers and staff all mask but the kids generally do not. We sent masks for a while and there would be all these pictures with no masks. The only time I reliably saw photos of my kid with a mask was on the playground outside which makes zero sense. We have had 3 quarantines due to positives in class (one time the teacher and two times kids) and my kid has Not gotten it that we know of. (No one in our family and I am in an office 5 days a week (subway both ways) since summer 2021. and we had eaten in a few indoor restaurants when covid was low but stopped that now – do eat outside often).
I would personally try a little harder to make kid wear a mask if teachers were not masking – but that also depends if teachers are vaxed.
anon says
Do they change exclusion rules for a close contact depending on whether your kid is wearing a mask? Our school doesn’t call it a close contact if my kid is in a mask, so they can stay if someone in their class tests positive. If they aren’t in a mask, then they have to do the whole close contact exclusion shebang. (No naps and lunch is outside, so masks are on all the time inside.)
(You can question the judgment of the rule, but this is the rule we have.)
Cornellian says
Yeah, we have a similar rule. In the older masked classes, an exposure doesn’t shut down the entire classroom. In the unmasked ones, it does. I’d look at those policies, as well.
I’m honestly sort of fascinated that my kid hasn’t gotten it (that I know of, but we do test at any symptoms/if we’re going to visit someone compromised), but even their less-than-perfect masking does seem to be helping. Mine wears mine without complaining but spends the day chewing a hole through it so it’s like a food-covered waterboarding device by 4 PM.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My preschooler started the year without masks for the kids and teachers masked, then moved to all 2+ in masks during the winter months, then moved to masks optional, which is where they are now but we put him back in a mask as our county is back in red. To be honest, I don’t know how much they enforce it or how much it matters as they take them off for food and naps, and the teachers are unmasked. But we’re doing masks indoors now and the older one is wearing it in his elementary school, so are trying to be consistent. We’re on a test and stay for positive cases and so far he has not caught it despite multiple exposures. He’s gotten a cold a month during the winter months though, even when everyone was masked, so who knows. This goes into my feelings of not really knowing what the right answer is here.
Anon says
Just wanted to say I hear you–that’s frustrating they would remove masks when a vaccine for under-5 is coming out soon! I’d probably just try to make my kid wear a mask even if everyone else has theirs off and kid takes it off as well. I just assume maybe less exposure overall. But if the kid says no one has it on and kid is the only one and feels uncomfortable or out of place, then would reconsider.
AwayEmily says
Probably depends on the particular cost/benefit for your family. When both preschool and elementary went mask-optional we opted to keep our kids in masks because the cost was low (both my kids are perfectly happy wearing masks and they weren’t the only ones who kept wearing them) and the potential benefit was high (I was pregnant, and now have a newborn). But I know several families who decided to unmask because they were low-risk and/or their kids were struggling with masks. So, I’d write out the costs and benefits given your particular situation, then decide. And no matter the decision, think through what factors would make you reconsider so you can keep an eye out for that information (e.g. case rate increase/decrease, upcoming vacation, etc).
Anon says
Yeah that’s how I normally think about it but I’m having a hard time weighing the costs vs benefits. I don’t see much downside to mask wearing (for my kid, who genuinely does not care) but I’m not convinced there’s much benefit to wearing one if kid will have it off half the day anyway.
Pogo says
We still mask my unvaxxed almost 5yo. Half his class does too. Included his bff who wore her mask for their class photo, god bless her.
Anonymous says
I will unmask my son as soon as is allowed! There are no masks in Europe and other parts of the U.S. I think masks have very bad impacts on little kids’ social, emotional and speech development, and offer very little in protection as they take them off for naps and meals anyway (and they are toddlers, how well are they really wearing the masks?)
If anything, masks should be mandated for the 65+ set – they are at the most risk of bad effects from Covid.
anon says
Absolutely. Masks on toddlers does more harm than good.
Anon says
Louder for the people in the back: wearing masks protects OTHER PEOPLE. If you get high-quality masks they protect the wearer to some extent, but it doesn’t make sense to mandate masks for only vulnerable people. OTHER PEOPLE wearing masks is what protects the vulnerable
Anonymous says
This. I cannot believe that people still don’t get this. I suppose most people are willfully ignoring it.
Anon says
My kids were still masking and I’m glad bc it allowed them to stay in school during a positive case in their class
Anon says
I wouldn’t because I don’t think it would offer much protection. My kid got Covid anyways despite mask wearing (by the whole class and staff) so that ship has already sailed for us.
GCA says
I don’t see the harm in having a preschool-age kid mask, but I don’t see a great deal of upside either, since the kids have to eat and sleep and the teachers and staff (masked) would have to put masks back on kids multiple times a day on top of all the potty break, water parade, activity transitions, and setup that they already have to do.
For what it’s worth, our daycare teachers are masked but the kids are not. At one point they were encouraging masks for the kids, but mine consistently would walk into school, take it off during morning snack or go outside in the morning without it, and never put it back on…
Most of the kids in DD’s class had Covid during the last Omicron peak in Dec-January; kiddo was quarantined five times but did not test positive. Now the center is doing test and stay.
anonM says
About how much do you all spend per kid per season on clothes for toddler/preschoolers? (Excluding coats, shoes, hats, etc – just clothes)? We get some hand-me-downs and buy some resale, but I’m having trouble gaging if I’m going overboard or not on what I buy new. The kids now also have Opinions which makes it a little harder to resale/etc.
Anon says
I don’t keep a strict accounting but I’d guess $100-200 twice a year to replace outgrown clothes. We mostly shop at Target though and it’s pretty cheap. Kiddo is 4 and very opinionated but doesn’t really understand that there are stores to go to to buy clothes. She just accepts that I buy the clothes and she chooses what she wears from what I bought.
Cb says
Yeah, same. I’m not sure my son realises that clothes come from the stores versus from grandma’s suitcase (my mom does all my kid shopping). I want to have enough clothes for 7-9 days between washing, and I know we’ve done a good job if everything is well-worn by the time he grows out of it. I wish we had a supply of hand-me-downs but we do have a yearly sale. Last year, I volunteered to set up and was a bit precious about grabbing stuff for my son, assuming that it would be snatched up by people who needed it and basically none of the kid stuff sold. I won’t make that mistake again.
He’ll go to uniforms in the coming school year (UK state school kids wear uniforms) and I assume we’ll need 4-5 days worth of play clothes and a week’s worth of uniforms.
Anonymous says
Same- target is good quality too for the price, I think, except for the leggings, which we go through like water (but I’ve found that to be true of the more expensive brands as well, my kids are just prone to holes in the knee). Jackets largely come from Costco.
Spirograph says
$100-200 per season sounds about right (per kid) in my experience. We only get ~5ish things new per kid per season, mostly pants, since those always seem to get destroyed, but also the occasional shirt/dress if the kids see it in a Lands End catalog or something. We get a lot of hand-me-downs for my daughter from a friend, and pass things down within our family, plus we shop resale at Kid to Kid — my local one does a great job curating; I highly recommend if there’s a store near you! My kids are opinionated about clothes only in the sense that my oldest hates jeans and strongly prefers athleticwear for everything.
startup lawyer says
like 100-200 if not including shoes and other gear.
Pogo says
Maybe $50-100? A mix of Carter’s and Primary for regular pants/shorts, and cute Hanna/Boden tops to support the Opinions (specific trucks or animals as requested).
I buy like 10-12 of each items so I don’t have to do laundry every minute.
Pogo says
per season – so probably in line w/ the others for the full year
Anon says
This is a great thread! Curious what folks will say. I have a young toddler and we spend about $150 per season, which buys me enough pants/shirts/socks/PJs to last a week (we outsource laundry once a week and he probably goes through 1-2 outfits per day and we switch PJs every few days bc he sweats a lot). I buy one “fancy” outfit per season. I think our costs will increase as he graduates young toddler age and I can no longer buy multipacks of shirts/onesies and pants haha. We buy mostly Carters, primary, and target.
After newborn stage we stopped getting as many handme downs and I’ve stopped accepting them for the most part because people tend to give me about 10 lbs of junk where only 1% is really worth keeping. (I don’t want your garbage, people!). I also wish I rocked the resale market but I don’t have the time/patience for it.
Cb says
H&M does great multipacks of joggers and tshirts. Ethically, I’d love the resale market but also lack the time/patience. I also find boy clothes aren’t as in good of condition.
Anonymous says
I agree about would love a resale market, but I found that actually buying 9-12 outfits new actually let me essentially create a capsule wardrobe for my son where colors coordinate better, so I actually end up with less clothes than when I was trying to buy resale. I am sure that other people care less if two blues or two grays aren’t the same, but I care way more than I thought I would. Resale I ended up not really liking any of the clothes and I was paying close to 70%-80% of what I would spend on the same items new on sale.
Anon says
I spend about $500 per year on just clothes for DD (usually divided up between a fall/winter and spring/summer purchase) and then she probably gets another $300 per year in clothes gifted from my mother (which are wholly unnecessary as my child owns more clothes than I do but it makes them both happy). Caveat that my 4YO is wearing a girls’ 8-10 or M-L depending on the brand, so I am paying big kid prices (I miss the toddler clothes for so many reasons). I buy almost exclusively gap and Hanna because they fit kiddo the best (always on sale) with a few target or nordstrom (socks and underwear mostly) odds and ends thrown in.
Anon says
Yes I miss little kid prices so much! We’re really similar, around $500/kid/year, with another couple hundred each worth of clothes from Gramma that’s not needed but apparently makes her happy.
My kids are older than yours but have Opinions and are also very influenced by what’s “cool”. I bought Gramma a Cricut for Christmas, had her join a Cricut FB group, and have been encouraging her to redirect her clothes spending into making custom shirts. She made my 5yo a Minecraft shirt that he would wear nonstop if he could, including to bed, so I think that’s helping convince her.
anonM says
OMG I love this cricut idea!
Anonymous says
My sister has a a Cricut and has made my kids some absolutely adorable clothes with it. :) They love anything that is crafted by grandma or aunt sister. They are less enthused by store-bought clothes that any extended family picks out for them.
Anon says
My 4 year old wears size 8-10 too but I actually haven’t noticed a huge price jump from toddler to big kid within the same brand. Just got her a bunch of summer shorts and t-shirts for $5/item at Target.
Anon says
I spend too much maybe like 400 twice a year. I love picking out stuff for my daughter, she has definite likes and I try to select colors she likes etc. sometimes she will ask for an item like “sparkley princess dress” or silver crocs or something random and I buy it. I like clothes and so does she I guess, lol.
Cb says
My husband grumbles but I like buying the random one offs (a NASA t-shirt, a Lego magazine at the airport). I feel like part of having a bit of extra money is to be able to buy my kid treats.
Anon says
This is me. I probably spend $200/season on necessities and another $100-$200 on fun stuff like Frozen PJs or a pair of sparkly sandals.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I spend a lot on clothes in a pure numbers sense, but relative to what we spend on everything else, it doesn’t seem like much (HCOL area, 2 small kids in daycare/aftercare+camp). So our yearly total is somewhere around $2,500 for everything clothing-related, including shoes and jackets, etc. – I don’t know what it is for just clothes. I typically buy Tea Collection, Primary, Hanna (sales) and Target for my older one, who passes it down to the younger one. Shoes are like $40 each no matter what, so that and jackets are our pricier items. No cousins or friends with same age kids for hand me downs, and I don’t want to spend the time on FB marketplace or Buy Nothing at this stage in my life.
Anon says
We’re very similar, but a bit less as I do a mix of the nicer brands along with some Target and Kohls. Winter outdoor gear is several hundred dollars by itself (boots, hat, gloves, warm socks, snow pants, scarf) so I don’t know how I could spend less than $500 in that season alone. My kid also has too many allergies, so we can’t buy used and need to carefully screen hand me downs. Occasionally I can wash problem items in a triple wash procedure but it usually isn’t worth it and it still might not work.
Anonymous says
A lot. But I have 3 girls. I tend to spend $$$ on high quality brands for my oldest knowing almost all of those items will be used by all 3.
My middle has super narrow feet so she gets new shoes each season. She is also very slim in the hip and not built like my other two (super muscular, have butts). #3 fits in #1’s clothing and shoe hand me downs easily, plus lots of #2s more generic stuff.
I fill in gaps and do random fun purchases for each of them. My middle is my fashionista so we do a style box for sine extra fun items. My oldest has a more classic style (she dresses like a classy 25 year old at age 10!) and loves rompers so we just bought a bunch for spring/summer. My youngest still likes unicorns and sparkles, so we add in some of that.
Anonymous says
I should add that we live in an area where they need 4 seasons of clothes + ski clothes. And they all play sports so we need base layers and hoodies and uniforms and team branded/personalized sweats, tennis skirts, soccer shorts, regular sport shorts, 9,000 jerseys and oh my god the gear. I have like 18 water bottles, 6 mouth guards, 2 infield masks, 3 batting helmets, 4 pairs of shin guards, cleats in easily 7 sizes, 3 lacrosse sticks, 2 lax goggles, 4 tennis racquets, and 3 massive all sport gear bags. Plus skis/boots/poles/bags for them all. At least they are healthy and vaguely athletic. And luckily my sport obsessed town has a massive used gear sale annually or I would be broke.
Anonymous says
haha this is me. Our sports are tennis, ice hockey, baseball, and snowboarding so far. My kids are going to love lax once they discover it (and they will, because we live in Maryland), so looking forward to adding all that gear too. Play it Again Sports is my best friend.
Anonymous says
Ooh I can’t top ice hockey. Mercifully we don’t do that. Sept-June of stinky sweaty gear. Yuck.
Anonymous says
We have three people worth of hockey bags. Our current house does not have a garage, and it is literally on the must-have list for the next house just as a place to keep stinky hockey gear. I don’t even care if the cars go in it.
anonM says
Yes, we are in 4 seasons too! It’s so much stuff sometimes, but I think it is important to have proper gear so kids WANT to be outside/are comfortable. I have a boy and a girl, so there is some hand-me-downs between them but less than I anticipated because the sizing is different (ex- his old 2T shorts are super baggy on her for the same season/age).
Cornellian says
I’ve spent some time trolling (trawling?) for hand me downs/freecycle stuff, so I have maybe half of my basic stuff covered. I mostly buy sort of specialty items: shoes, sunshirts, outerwear, swimsuit. I have one pre-K kid and probably spend about 75/season on clothing, and probably about that on the related items as well.
I assume this will go up as he starts school and maybe cares what he’s wearing more. I’ve had a very low-key approach to what he wears so far.
CHL says
I’ll plug for uniqlo – my boys love them and it’s a great value of price for durability and quality. I also sometimes go crazy with Boden tshirts because they’re so cute, but that’s for me, not them:)
Cb says
Uniqlo is great. Lindex is also fantastic if they ship to the states. Amazing quality cotton and some really fun prints (red panda PJs)
Mary Moo Cow says
Umm… too much? I don’t really keep track. I have two of the same gender and style preferences, so I bought/buy mostly higher quality (Boden, Hanna, etc., either new or on resale) with the idea that two kids would wear it. Now that my younger child is almost as tall as the older child, not as many hand-me-downs. My kids are now in uniforms for school, so I buy a week’s worth of uniforms and that has helped cut down on clothes buying. I bought more they were toddlers/preschoolers because even quality clothes took a beating and wore out. My oldest also now has Opinions, so her wardrobe has significantly narrowed. I have a local upscale kids consignment shop but I don’t shop there too often; I do buy resale from Kidizen or ThredUp frequently. I like clothes, as does my youngest, so I probably go overboard and buy headbands for my oldest to even it out.
AwayEmily says
I have no idea because I usually just add things onto existing Target orders when I realize we need something. And yes, like everyone else, 90% of the kids’ clothes are from Target (and, let’s be honest, 50% of mine are, too). I’d like to buy more used but I find the stuff in our local Once Upon a Child to be both largely horrible and way overpriced (really, $5 for a Target t-shirt? That’s how much they cost new!). Does anyone have better sources for used clothes?
anonon says
It’s true you don’t save much on each individual piece at a resale store, but the savings do add up overall if you are buying most of your items there, and you also get the benefit of knowing you are helping the environment. I go to one resale store to purchase a majority of my kids’ clothes each season and find plenty of great options. I love putting together little outfits from the mix of clothes they have there. A lot of moms may not have time for this, but I take a bin of clothes to trade in each season, and get $30 to $60 in cash that I look at as a big coupon to use on my next clothing purchases for my kids. That’s another level of savings. I often end up spending a very small amount of money on clothes each season. Again, some moms may roll their eyes at the time it takes, and that’s fine, but to me, it’s kind of fun to pocket the extra savings, and I love the store anyway, and feel good about my kid’s clothes ending up there.
AwayEmily says
These are good thoughts — I think if I liked the store more I’d also enjoy the time/search aspect of it. But in reality I always feel a little resentful of how overpriced it is, it tends to be filled with crying babies, and I struggle to find anything I actually want to buy. Maybe I should try Goodwill instead.
anon says
Yes, finding a store you genuinely like is key. Unfortunately, I have not been impressed with the kids section in Goodwill but I’m sure they vary.
Spirograph says
I mentioned above, but see if there’s a Kid to Kid near you. At least my local store is a really good shopping experience. They only accept certain brands and are very picky about quality. There are TONS of clothes for kids under 5. Pickings get a little slimmer after that, but I still find it worth a trip for my 7 and 9 year olds, especially for cute stuff like my daughter likes, or for “nice”/fancy clothes. I suspect most of the inventory is gifts from a well-meaning relative, worn once to get photo evidence that it is appreciated, and then consigned.
Mary Moo Cow says
ThredUp is good for both specific items (like, size 5 pink dress for family photos) and general (shorts) and has a wide range go new-with-tags so this better last a while and showing signs of wear, so this is play clothes. They do have a restocking fee, but you can return things. The selection does narrow as you get into the larger sizes, though. I browse Kidizen for specifics that I’ve seen before and liked but didn’t buy (like, last season’s Boden-Harry Potter seeker dress of the next size up in the matching dress for family photos) but can be unreasonably priced.
anonamama says
I almost exclusively shop secondhand because I have champagne taste on a beer budget, because I love the thrill of the shopping hunt and for sustainability reasons. I’ve found that special occasion/more upscale clothes and shoes are a little easier to come by because of the reduced wear; little boy pants are nonexistent after 2t but shorts are easy to find; bathing suits ALWAYS; hanna, carter’s and gap are the only brands worth hunting secondhand for pj’s. Best sources include: Poshmark (mostly bundles, always make an offer); ThredUp (worth it for a bulk buy of mom + kid clothes, they always have a discount code); Mercari; FB Marketplace/local neighborhood FB groups. i LOVE the Kid to Kid in our city but I don’t get there often. I’ll always poke in a goodwill/red white and blue to find ‘the one’ as one carries mostly target/carters while another has Ralph Lauren/Janie & Jack. Recognizing this is a time commitment, I will buy up to 1 size ahead and keep a running list. If you’re short on time, Kidizen and ThredUp are good stops!
Anonymous says
Toddler/preschooler probably $50 per season plus shoes (my kids have very very large, fast growing feet). Most toddler clothes I got from friends or at goodwill and would splurge on cute PJs because I love them. But… after about size 4-5 (a) kid has opinions and mine has sensory issues, (b) Hand me downs and goodwill items less available because kids this are trash clothes, (c) I also have opinions and don’t want to dress my early elementary boy in all camo and sports clothes which is what is available used. Plus we are going through multiple sizes a year at this point- budget has definitely gone way up. I will also get the kids fun shirts as gifts so light spend even $15-20 on a tshirt that’s a gift that has that special animal the kid loves on it.
Anonymous says
I realized I’m not including winter coats in this accounting. We live in a place where rain pants are a necessity and those are always available at goodwill though so rain paints/rain suits are included!
DLC says
10 year old daughter is about $200 twice a year. (Not including shoes).
5 year old son is about $50/ season from Kid to Kid, if I really need to supplement, but he gets lots of hand me downs.
2.5 year old daughter is about $50- 100/ season, particularly if I see something cute or that matches big sister. But she also wears mostly hand me downs.
Does anyone else spend more on their girls than boys? I find that I’m more inclined to buy new things for my daughters, but my son gets hand me down and thrift/ consignment store stuff.
anonM says
I think I spend more on my son, but that might be unusual. DD gets more hand me downs now, and can use some of DS’s hand me downs. And resale is easier for her, but I hate all the camo and monster trucks for boys resale. So what I buy for him is more bright fun colors that I don’t get in hand me downs or at resale. Plus he makes really sweet requests that I do try to find for him (a butterfly shirt, an ice cream shirt to match his sister, etc.)
Anon says
This made me curious so I just checked my budgeting app and apparently I averaged $76 per month for clothes for one kid last year, but that also includes shoes and coats since I don’t break that out separately. So maybe $50 per month just on clothes. Seems on the high end but not crazy to me – I like being able to splurge a little. Also she is only 2.5 so still growing fast.
Twin birthday party? says
My twin boys are turning 9 and we are planning their first friends birthday party since Covid. They are in separate classes at school. We plan on inviting each of their classmates, many of whose parents I don’t know well. I plan on sending the Evite listing the party as “A and B’s Birthday Party” but I don’t want anyone to feel like they need to get double gifts. Unfortunately my kids are just not mature enough to handle a no-gift party at the moment, despite the fact that it’s what I would love to do. Is there any way to telegraph this to the other parents in a nice way, or just let them figure it out however they want?
Anon says
Let them figure it out.
Amy says
Let them figure it out. For twins, as a parent of a guest, I would 100% buy two gifts, but probably two $15 things instead of my usual practice of a single $30 thing.
Mary Moo Cow says
I think you could mention it when they RSVP, casually, like, “Thanks for letting me know you’re coming! We know you are in A’s class, so please don’t feel obligated to do anything for B.” Is that tacky? As a parent, though, if my kid knew both twins even causally, though, I would buy for both twins.
Anonymous says
Unnecessary
Anonymous says
Nope just let them deal! It is not a big deal they will be fine.
Cb says
How do you handle grandparent visits? This is a source of drama at the moment.
My FIL moved to Canada….We’ll make the trek at some point but no rush…
My parents lived in the US until recently but my dad came over for 6 months to be my nanny and they’d visit frequently. They’ve since immigrated to a new country in order to be closer (but not local) to us, and are taking advantage of cheap RyanAir flights to come and hang out / help my husband if I’m travelling for longer than my usual 3-4 days.
My MILs live a 4 hour train ride away which is “so far”. My husband’s mum offers to help but can never come when we need her, coming instead at slightly inconvenient times, which fine… T loves her, I can cope with it. MIL2 has long Covid so has understandably has cancelled the last 2 trips. We suggested a time in September when there are two extra days off school but they are too busy and suggested a weekend in November where we have school.
MILs are salty we spend so much more time with my parents and my husband is demoralised and engaging in unproductive escalation. I just don’t know how to navigate it/support him? He finds my parents much easier to cope with both logistically (mom cooks his favourite meals, dad does the school run) and emotionally (I think his mom’s disengagement is bringing up childhood stuff).
Sorry for the novel, but any advice or commiseration welcome.
Boston Legal Eagle says
No advice here but I can relate. My parents live 30 min from us and help out a lot, including coming every weekend for a few hours. And when they come, they take the kids and actually give us a break. My MIL lives in the middle of the country and visits maybe every year or so. When she comes, she mostly hangs out with us as the entire family and expects to be treated as a guest – so she’s not really “helping” us in the sense of providing childcare but understandably as two small kids is a lot for one person. FIL and wife live across the country and last came out 3 years ago. We’re visiting them this summer. Again, they don’t really “help” us when we’re there and we wouldn’t expect to be able to have a couples date night or anything. I’m sure my ILs feel sad that they aren’t getting to see the kids grow up as much as my parents, but it’s hard due to both the distance and their level of hands-on involvement – even if ILs lived closer, I don’t think they’d have the same mentality of helping us out vs. just seeing the kids while we do all the work (some of this may be cultural). My husband doesn’t take their comments personally though but it sounds like yours does? I don’t know what more you could do here – you’re giving her times to visit.
Cb says
My FIL came for a visit when my son was born, grumbled that we didn’t have cream for his coffee while I glowered at him from underneath a cluster feeding baby. He came again a year later, but spent 45 minutes with my son in a hotel bar and cancelled his visit to our house (he was staying 20 minutes across town) because it was raining.
Cornellian says
that is special!
Anonymous says
I think one of the hardest things about being an adult is realizing that your parents are who they are and not who you want them to be. MIL is clearly interested in less involvement than your DH would like. She is likely jealous of the level of involvement that your parents have because it makes her self-conscious about her level of involvement. It’s easier to blame you guys for supposedly allowing unfair time vs accept her own role.
In my case, my parents pick my kids up three days a week afterschool and take them to their afterschool activities. Rare to spend an overnight or longer than 2-3 hours together. My mom wishes we spent more time together but I find her really controlling and judgmental so I avoid more than a 2 hour block. MIL doesn’t trigger me in the same way. MIL sees them for 1-2 visits a year at 2-3 weeks each time. Kids are close with both families but it just takes a different form.
Ignore MIL’s comments about your parents involvement. That’s nothing you or your DH are doing wrong.
Mary Moo Cow says
+1000 to “one of the hardest things about being an adult is realizing your parents are who they are and not who you want them to be.”
My ILs moved to our town when I was pregnant with our first kid, just for the grandkids. (DH is an only child, which was a big piece of their decision: no other kids to consider.) I’m one of two; my sister, me, and parents all live in different states. My sister complains of some of the same issues/parents’ behavior but she sees them more often because they live closer. My parents live 8 hours away and visit 2-3 times a year. My mom is also jealous of kids’ relationship with ILs but my parents won’t give up lengthy, luxury travel 3 times a year to visit. She also is weird about not coming to visit unless the kids are out of school, and will arrive after school on a Friday and leave before school on a Monday, for example. So for 9 months of the year, that limits our time together: but that’s on her, not me. It’s taken me a long time to be able to shrug and say, “that’s a you problem, not a me problem.” From my experience, DH telling me this didn’t help; I had to hear from a therapist. This is just to say that it is wonderful you want to support your husband, but it might fall on deaf ears, and that’s not a you problem.
What has helped my mom-me relationship and my mom-kids relationship is weekly FaceTime, lots of random texts with pictures or updates from school, she sends them care packages or souvenirs from travels and random cards, and we make them write thank you notes for everything or send occasional art work. So also +1 to kids being close to both families but it looks different.
Aunt Jamesina says
This is SPOT ON
Anon says
We let them visit as much as they want basically. For my parents that was every 2-3 months until they got a place here and for my in laws that’s once a year, if that. We actually visit in laws more than my parents, but only once a year. I don’t think it’s reasonable for in-laws to get upset about your parents visiting more unless they’re being told they can’t come. Sorry they’re being so unreasonable. :/
Cb says
Yeah, we occasionally say no to visits if I’m travelling Sunday-Wednesday and they propose Thursday-Sunday as I need some time with my son, husband, and my sanity… but always offer an alternative date but their schedules are so busy and I’m not willing to take my son out of school because they can’t free up a Friday with 4 months notice.
Anonymous says
All the commiseration, I find it really hard to balance family obligations when we have finite vacation time, zero local grandparents, and very different personalities in play.
My mom is logistically very easy to cope with and she essentially has an open invitation to stay with us any time she wants. She lives a 5 hour drive away and we see her at least every other month, which will probably increase once she retires next year. We usually visit her at least once or twice, she comes to us more frequently. We see the rest of the grandparents much less, but they aren’t salty about it. I haven’t seen my FIL in a few years because pandemic and he seems to have no interest in visiting or inviting us to visit him (for health and other decent reasons, not because he’s a jerk). He lives a flight away and we’ll probably make the trek down to him within the next year. We invite MIL and my dad on vacations/long weekends with us occasionally and usually pay MIL’s flight. My MIL is a lovely woman, but can’t just seamlessly blend into the household the way my mom can, so I definitely feel like I’m Hosting when she’s around. She recently moved from a flight away to a drive away and near my SIL, so we’ll probably visit at least once a year.
My dad lives a flight away but is retired and has plenty of money for travel; he would visit more often if I invited him but his visits really stress me out. He always suggests coming at times that are inconvenient. For example he invited himself to visit my sister this weekend. She lives fairly close to me, so of course he wants to see my family too. But he didn’t tell me that until a week or two ago, and we already had a few can’t-miss plans on top of the kid’s normal activities. So now I’m squeezing in Sunday lunch on top of the other commitments and it’s making me cranky. (I realize I sound like a brat, but I’m tired, y’all. It’s been a long month already. I just want a mental break from logistic-ing.) It’s much better if we go to a neutral location and I’m not trying to keep in my normal life’s balls in the air while he’s around, so I try to head off self-invitations at the pass by inviting him to go with us on long weekend trips once or twice a year.
anono says
What does your husband want to have happen? Have you asked him what would his ideal scenario be in the next six months or year, in terms of his parents visiting? You say he’s engaging in “unproductive escalation,” so maybe it would be helpful to slow down and listen to him. People escalate when they feel like no one gets it.
Anonymous says
If MILs are envious of the time you spend with your parents, it’s on them to visit more often. What do they want you to do, tell your parents to come less?
Pogo says
+1 This is how I view it. I’m not stopping anyone. Also, the more you come visit, the more my kids will like you and want to hang out w/ you vs crying when you try to hold them. sorry not sorry.
Anonymous says
Ignore them. You’re invited them. They don’t come. Nothing to apologize for.
anonM says
Hm, CB, that’s a lot on you to mentally deal with. I also have 2 sets of in laws, and DH and I have discussed how there’s no perfectly even way to see everyone. We see my mom a lot be default – she watches the kids at least 1/week, does lots of sick days, etc. And she is widowed, so I am not very apologetic in that she has an open invite for every holiday period. (Thankfully, my in laws invite her to everything too, which is really great). So is it “fair” we see her more? Oh well. A few things that have helped – focusing on meeting people where they are. Exs – my MIL2 never turns down clear babysitting, even if she doesn’t initiate as much as I think she “should.” So, she’s a go-to for weddings, special events, etc. She also really appreciates me sending her pictures, so I’ve been trying to do that more. We got them the digital frame for Christmas, and now I update the app with kid pictures periodically. All these things help them feel included and cut down on the griping about how we always seem to be with my mom, etc. And, age has helped – I’m realizing some people are not big baby people, but do love sitting with 4yo doing legos. Maybe you can start an annual tradition with MILs that’s always on the calendar, you’ll know ahead of time it will be PITA, and they’ll feel included.
Aunt Jamesina says
I have a very different setup but a similarly competitive MIL who gets jealous easily. My mom and his parents are all within a 15 minute drive. My mom watches our kid one day per week, and while MIL would like to do that, doesn’t have a set schedule where shes be able to commit to watching our kid on a certain day in lieu of daycare. We instead have her over most weekends, either to hang out or for her to babysit while we go out for coffee or something. We would also be reluctant to have her watch our kid on her own for more than an hour or two since she has a back injury and clearly avoids picking up our five month old. Our kid is my mom’s only grandkid, but MILs’ 3rd, and she sees her other two all the time since she hangs out at my BILs house frequently. When she found out my mom would watch our baby Mondays, she proposed that my mom share Mondays. We asked her to pick a different day, but when pressed, she admitted she wasn’t even able to do Mondays at all and dropped the matter entirely.
I’ve asked my husband not to mention anything that my mom does with our kid, which has helped. But my husband is generally on board with not letting things escalate with his mom. It sucks, I’m sorry!
Anon says
My inlaws are local, but MIL and I are not on speaking terms and she is not welcome in our house. DH also finds her difficult in person but will talk on the phone to her once daily because he can tune out or hang up as needed (one of the many blow-ups over the past year was when she was calling 10x a day). My parents are a 2 hour drive away. We see my parents usually once every 6 weeks, often I will take DD for a weekend and DH comes about half the time; sometimes my parents drive up to see us for the day (but rarely stay overnight because of their dog). DH takes DD to see inlaws maybe once a quarter; FIL comes to our house a few times a month for an afternoon of playtime (less often now that he got a new puppy which also helps distract him from MIL). We also vacation with my parents and family but not with DH’s. My parents engage with DD and are an extra helping set of hands. DH’s parents try to be helpful but are just not and often delve into fighting with each other like DD is a bone over who is paying more attention to her. Their age (FIL has two decades on my parents, MIL one) and mobility issues also mean they can’t engage physically with DD the same way my parents can.
My life has gotten so much more peaceful since I cut MIL out of it. The only thing I regret is that it means we see FIL (who I like a lot) much less. If he were younger I am sure he would have divorced her by now (and he has said as much), but his health is failing and it is not worth the fight for him given his age and stage. My unofficial diagnosis is some Alzheimer’s or dementia setting in because MIL has turned plain mean in a way she wasn’t even when DH and I were early in our marriage (and in a way I have seen with other relatives who experienced similar personality changes). But you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves and is unwilling to even have the conversation with their doctor (and we are not in a position to share concerns with her doctor either) as well is incredibly manipulative (including with her providers, and that isn’t anything new). I am 100% certain she bad mouths me to everyone and sundry, but if I don’t have to hear it to my face, it’s not my problem (and DD is not allowed to be unsupervised with her to avoid a similar problem). And DH’s cousins still speak to me, so either they are hearing and filtering it or she is not being as nasty with them as she is with me.
Anon says
I wonder if non Americans have a different sense of distance than Americans? When visiting my British in laws, they told me they haven’t seen a certain family member who lives three hours away because they live so far. But here in the US, that would be considered a close and very doable weekend trip.
At any rate, I certainly commiserate. My in laws were a grumbly, malcontent couple who were deeply uncomfortable leaving the house. They rarely visited and often refused our offers to visit them. We accepted that was what they felt they could offer us and adjusted our expectations. When we were first married, I thought maybe things could change or they would come around, but no. Regardless, they loved us a whole lot and we understood that they were doing the best they could. They both passed away unexpectedly, and I wish I could have spent more time just accepting them rather than wishing they were different. Their visits were brief yet draining, but they were good grandparents.
Air fryer recs says
I think we’re finally going to jump on the air fryer bandwagon. Any recommendations for which one? Mostly vegetarian, two adults and a toddler. I think what’s pushing me over the edge is wanting crispy veggies (and toddler usually happily eats those) without having to turn the oven on.
Anonymous says
I just got one (just a random one that was on sale at Target – I think the brand is PowerXL) and was surprised that I’ve used it almost every day since! It’s so much faster than preheating the oven. Obviously it’s great for frozen things like nuggets, taquitos, tater tots, etc. but I’ve also done sweet potatoes, broccoli, carrots… the list goes on.
NYCer says
Same here, we use ours at least 5x per week. It definitely has a smaller capacity than the regular oven, but it is just SO easy for kids food…chicken nuggets, tater tots, pizza, etc. I also really enjoy how quickly it roasts vegetables, especially when you take into account the time you save without preheating the oven.
anon says
It’s also awesome for reheating things that you don’t want to get soggy in the microwave.
Anon says
We have one, and honestly, I’m underwhelmed – mostly because of the small capacity. We rarely use it and I wouldn’t buy again.
Anon says
We got the Ninja Foodi one that is also a toaster and oven and such, that flips up when not in use, and use it almost daily. We’re mostly pescatarians and do a lot of crispy veggies in it, roasted carrots, etc and it works really well.
Anonymous says
Does it heat up the kitchen? I haven’t interested in one but the idea of not turning my apartment into a sauna all summer is appealing. Our oven makes such a noticeable difference in temperature (we do not have central AC, just window units, and can’t put one in the kitchen due to fire escape).
anon says
It doesn’t. I feel like this is one way the air fryer shines: I can still roast veggies when it’s 900 degrees outside.
NYCer says
This is one of the biggest benefits IMO. It does not heat up the kitchen at all!
Anon says
Get one that is box shaped, rather than round (I think ours is the Emeril one). Or I would suggest just buying a countertop convection oven, since that is really what an air fryer is, just with new branding. They heat up much quicker than the real oven and do get food crispier, but it takes some playing with the settings to get it just right. The benefit is that you can use toaster oven sized pans and use it like a real oven.
TBH, I have double wall ovens and not enough room on the counter for our air fryer, so we use it maybe once a month. I would rather just heat up the wall oven. My mom has a range oven that is on its last legs and uses her countertop toaster oven every day (cooking for two only). I know how my wall oven works and how to get things crispy and I don’t have the patience for that learning curve on the air fryer. If I only had one oven though, a countertop convection oven that could fit a 9×13 pan would make holiday baking so much better (I will never go back to single oven again if I have a choice).
AwayEmily says
Yeah, we went with a countertop convection oven and use it for making frozen fries, nuggets, all that stuff. I think it is sliiightly less effective than an air fryer (based on when I used my sister’s air fryer) but it’s also more useful in other ways because it’s a tiny oven (we use it for reheating pizza, warming sandwiches, making cinnamon toast, etc).
Anon says
We’ve had two, can’t remember either brand but I can say: shelf style, not basket. You can make a whole meal in one of the ovens with shelves. My husband is the only vegetarian in the house – we do chicken nuggets on one shelf, his weird fake meat on the second, and roast veggies on the third shelf. Heats up super quick, meals can be made in 10 minutes. Highly recommend.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Has anyone used any of the Speech Sisters products? If so, any reviews? My 17-month-old only has a few words, babbles a ton, and mostly says “mama”, with the occasional “Dada”, “Papa” (My FIL), and “Baba” (brother, books). He definitely understands things, but it’s the output I want to help with. Any thoughts or suggestions welcome!
Anon says
I bought (but honestly did not heavily use) the baby one. My daughter is deaf in one ear and does speech therapy through early intervention weekly. I think their course (and instagram) really tracks with what my SLP has told me, and I think it’s a great cheap and easy way to level up if you are looking for a way to do so.
Anon4this says
Just a little tip from someone previously on the ‘inside’ of these businesses – virtually all of the Instagram parenting courses contain all of the same information as their social media posts; they just organize and package it all together in one PDF/course for convenience. So if you dig hard enough, or pay attention long enough, you can find the relevant info you need.
Anon says
I am not an insider but echo this. I have bought a few of these courses and have always been disappointed at the lack of new material.
FWIW my 17 month old son says about the same number of words but seems to understand a considerable amount of language. I know everyone has a different threshold for when to be concerned but I’m not concerned yet about his language development.
OP says
Both of these comments are helpful, and also speak to my gut on both my child and these services. I’ll spend some time digging around their site/account today as I am forcing myself to have a slow workday.
Anon says
+1 they also borrow HEAVILY from parenting books. Several of my friends have told me Taking Cara Babies is just a repackaged book.
OP says
This is all super helpful. I am forcing myself to take a slower day at work and take care of some “housekeeping” as a break and I will make some notes of their site.
anon says
I am LONG PAST the baby days, but I am getting all the feels while shopping for my childhood BFF’s first baby. Gah, baby things are so cute and I’m having all the nostalgic flashbacks. She’s having him at age 41 and it’s a wonderful turn of events, all around.
NLD in NYC says
Advice seeking/ranting into the void…
DH wants to take DS to see grandparents at their house. ILs are fully vaxxed and booster, but BIL who’s staying with them has refused to get vaxxed. Grr…
Disclaimers: I’m in the office full time, but everyone is mandated to be vax. DS is in daycare where they’re not required to wear masks (double grr), but everyone is vaxxed. MIL comes over occasionally even though BIL isn’t vaxxed.
Am I crazy for not wanting DS go over their place? I feel like there’s no other situation where we would feel great about going with DS unmasked with unvaxxed folks. And no, FIL isn’t going to come over our place; that would require him getting off his couch. Sigh.
Anon says
Not crazy. You make rules that keep your kid safe and saying no close contact with people known to be unvaxxed is not unreasonable.
NLD in NYC says
That last sentence was snarkier than I meant… FIL is a good guys, he just doesn’t like to be out of his comfort zone of his home.
Maybe says
As a practical matter, I think you are leaning on principle more than actual concern about him getting covid. That’s completely your right, but at this point if your kid is in daycare (as mine are) his chances of being exposed are greatest there, vaccinations or not, than by going to a house with one unvaccinated adult.
I’m very pro-vaccination but I would let him go personally.
Anon says
I’m not sure that’s true if daycare requires staff to be vaxxed. Unvaxxed people have a higher viral load and are more likely to transmit.
Anonymous says
I know way too many people, including 14 members of my extended family, who caught COVID because of this type of thinking. Being family doesn’t make someone any “cleaner.” I just read a news story that said that 5% of asymptomatic people being screened for COVID in advance of surgery at one hospital are testing positive, meaning that 1 in 20 people in that community is walking around with COVID without even knowing it.
Anon says
+1. Vaccinating people are spreading and catching Covid just the same right now. And most boosters have “expired” anyway!
Anon says
I don’t think your crazy. I don’t knowingly let my kid hang out with unvaccinated adults. Part of the reason this virus is able to keep mutating is bc of those unvaccinated adults. The same way all grandparents needed TDAP plus flu shots to visit my babies (and still now need flu shots to visit). It’s their choice whether or not to get shots and a parent’s choice who to knowingly let their kid spend time with. I’d maybe make an exception if BIL is willing fi take a rapid test
NLD in NYC says
Rapid test is a good idea, thanks!
Anon says
My MIL refuses to attend family gatherings because of am unvaxxed-by-choice grand niece even though she herself is 3x vaccinated. You get to draw the boundaries you want for yourself and your children.