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This is a pretty t-shirt from Ann Taylor Loft. I think the pattern is beautiful and definitely elevates it from basic. It’s hard to tell online, but the listed color is navy. I think this would be comfortable and pretty under a navy or gray suit. I also love it as styled on the site with light beige and with gold accessories. The tee is available for $29.50 in regular, petite, and plus sizes, and right now you can get 40% off with code FINALLY, which brings it down to only $17.70! Floral Vintage Soft Tee Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear. Deal Alert: The Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale just started! We’ll be rounding up some of our top picks for work later today, but in the meantime, here are a few quick picks…- a $58 Boden dress with sleeves and pockets
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
anon says
It hit me this morning that the baby I miscarried would have turned 6 today, finishing up kindergarten. I don’t think about the miscarriage often anymore — although it gutted me at the time — but sometimes milestones bring up old feelings of what might have been. :( I just needed to say that out loud today.
Anonymous says
Grief is brutally unpredictable and I’m sorry it’s hitting you so hard today.
Irish Midori says
I’m so sorry. Be kind to yourself today.
rosie says
I am sorry.
IHeartBacon says
I’m sorry. In a way, grief is a reminder that you still love and care about the person you lost. Sometimes that brings me some comfort.
Govtattymom says
Sending hugs your way.
Patty Mayonnaise says
Sending you comfort. I’ve been there too and it sucks.
Anonymous says
Got my results for the 3-hour GD test, and only one of my numbers was slightly high (two above the cutoff). My OB offered a referral to a dietitian but said it was optional, and I definitely don’t have GD. Should I take her up on it? I think I generally know about healthy eating, and I’m planning to significantly cut back on sweets for the rest of my pregnancy. Wondering whether it would be worth the time. Thanks!
Anonymous says
I would do it. It doesn’t hurt and may give you some good ideas both on what to avoid (fruit is quite high in sugar) and good alternatives for foods you are cutting back on.
ANon says
so I went to a nutritionist during my pregnancy. No GD, but I was pregnant with twins and it was part of standard protocol. The person I saw was not at all helpful. The stuff she told me was sooooo basic and she was unable to answer any of my questions.
Anonymous says
We have taken our kid to two different nutritionists and had the same experience with both. If you know that refined sugar is not a health food, you already know at least as much as a nutritionist. It’s a total waste of time and money, and the nutritionist will probably also attempt to shame you for eating junk food even if you don’t.
Anonymous says
This.
anon says
FYI dietician =/= nutritionist
Usually dietitians are more highly regarded
Anon says
There is definitely a difference between a registered dietician that regularly meets with pregnant women with GD and a nutritionist (or even a dietician that doesn’t have much experience with GD), so I would find someone that was 1) a registered dietician and 2) has experience with pregnancy related GD. Otherwise, their helpfulness may be limited.
So Anon says
If you can get a recommendation for a good registered dietitian, it can absolutely be worth it. My ex had T1D, and many of the dietitians were not helpful. However, I saw/see a dietitian for my son who has Crohn’s and she is absolutely amazing. She is a working mom herself, which I think helps. She provides realistic solutions and helps me trouble shoot. She gives advice that includes what to grab at Trader Joe’s, what shortcuts are worth it, ideas on quick breakfasts and dinners, and where to get decent fast food. I think it can really depend on who you see, but there are really great registered dietitians out there that make a huge difference.
Just interested says
Can you share some Trader Joe’s tips one day? Would love to hear those!!!
Anonymous says
I didn’t officially have a diagnosis, but I read the book “Real Food for Gestational Diabetes” and found it helpful. I also bought a glucose meter and tracked things to make sure blood sugar didn’t get out of control.
Anon Mama says
Went to my first OB appointment for this (3rd) pregnancy, and doc recommended a NIPT screen at 12 weeks. Only risk factor I have is that I’m barely advanced maternal age (just turned 36). I would decline an amnio b/c of risk of miscarriage, and abortion is off the table for religious/personal belief reasons. I think I would like to have a heads up to prepare if the baby has a genetic condition, but husband thinks it’s better not to worry about it since it wouldn’t really alter the way we approach the pregnancy and may just introduce other worries. Have any of you had the NIPT? Were you glad you did, or wish you hadn’t?
I’ve always declined additional prenatal testing for the reasons above, but I was a good deal younger then and it wasn’t really recommended.
Anonymous says
I don’t know which one the NIPT is, but you might ask your OB about the risk for false positives. I’ve heard stories that some of the early testing has high false positive rates, and that it is hard because of that.
gouda says
FYI, this test is more accurate the older you are. The stats are in Emily Oster’s “Expecting Better”.
Anonymous says
Yes I would absolutely do it, so you can prepare. It’s not just Down’s. Some of the conditions tested for are fatal and I would want to know in advance. The risk of false positives is higher than the risk of false negatives but not that high. Many insurance plans now cover these tests regardless of age, btw. My insurance paid for me to have it done at 30 and 32. You can also find out sex early this way.
asdf says
I had it. I’m a huge planner and knowing this kind of thing in advance would be tremendously helpful and much better for everyone involved than a surprise in the delivery room.
Anon says
+1
Also, from what I read, the delivery can be different/difficult for babies with certain abnormalities, so it’s safer for both mother and baby for the medical team to be prepared.
Anonymous says
I did and was glad I did it as it was relieving to know that I didn’t need to worry about those issues. I realize the testing isn’t 100% one way or another but it’s a significant indicator (I forget the actual accuracy info I was given). Sometimes follow up testing/monitoring may be via ultrasound not amnio.
I don’t agree with your DH that it won’t change how you approach the pregnancy. For example, if it is a fatal condition, you will want to know about neonatal pallative care options in your area or otherwise prepare older children for the possible outcomes. My sister’s 2nd baby died at birth (unexpectedly) and it was very very hard on my nephew. That’s always influenced my desire to know as much as possible when it is possible to know. If it’s not a fatal condition, the baby may still require specialized care and you may prefer to give birth in a specialized hospital vs have to have the baby airlifted after birth and you’re in a separate hospital.
Anon says
This is such a personal decision. For me, I chose not to do it. I didn’t want the risk of false positives. I also don’t think that losing a baby is something that you can emotionally prepare for anyway (although everyone is different). Being able to make logistical plans in advance just wasn’t worth the possibility that I’d spend my entire pregnancy worrying, possibly for nothing.
HSAL says
I got pregnant at 36. Initially I declined the testing (same line of thinking as you), but then I researched what it actually covered a little more and eventually decided that yes, it would change how I approached the pregnancy. So I got it quite a bit later (16-17 weeks?) but was glad I did.
Wanderlust says
I have mine on Friday. I am also 36, and I am scared of false positives or a bad result. :(
Anonymous says
I did it and I think it is good information to have, with respect to planning and setting expectations. I don’t think there is a huge risk of false positives. Also FWIW, you can find out the sex of the baby if that interests you.
Anonymous says
I got it even though I’m under 35. More and more insurance companies are covering it since it’s so much more accurate than the quad screen in terms of false positives. It’s not just to find out the info if you’d have an abortion or not – Down’s syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities can have physical issues that may need to be corrected immediately after birth with surgery. It’s better to know this stuff sooner. You can also mentally prepare yourself. Imagine going your entire pregnancy and finding out at the birth that your baby was going to die in a few hours from Trisomy 18. I’m a more information is better person so I’m SO glad we did it so I could relax more for the rest of my pregnancy. It is a very very personal decision though.
Anon Mama says
That makes sense, esp. since they recently announced they are shutting down my hospital’s NICU and consolidating it with the next town over (grr!). Would need to know if I should drive over a town to deliver.
Anon says
This is a good point. I didn’t have one but the hospital I delivered at has the best NICU in the region. I would’ve felt differently if I was going to be at a smaller hospital.
Pogo says
That is why I opted to have the MSAFP even though I decline the nuchal – OB said it could impact where I should deliver and what kind of care the baby would need immediately after birth.
IHeartBacon says
I didn’t have one for the same reasons that you mentioned you wouldn’t have an amino. I’m glad I didn’t because it would’ve just added worry that I couldn’t do anything about.
Anonymous says
There’s actually a lot you can do for many conditions. It may affect how the baby will be delivered and the care they’ll receive right after birth. And OP said she didn’t want to have an amnio because of the risk of miscarriage, but NIPT is non-invasive (just a blood draw) and has no risk.
Anon says
Right but often the amnio is the recommended follow up. If you’re unwilling to the amnio, it makes sense that you may not want to do the NIPT.
My doctor advised that there wasn’t anything they could do about the conditions a NIPT would detect.
anon says
My reply was eaten so reposting. I didn’t with our first and she has a rare genetic condition that wasn’t diagnosed until age 8 months (that would’ve shown on NIPT, but the tests don’t test everything). I wish we had known because she would have benefited from better care from birth to diagnosis. It would not have affected our decision to continue with pregnancy. Instead, we spent a lot of time knowing something wasn’t quite right after birth and getting connected (and frustrated and scared) until we got a diagnosis. I’m pregnant with our second and got the test this time but insurance did not cover because I’m under 35, even though there was increased risk due to daughter’s condition.
Lucky says
I chose not to have one, for the reasons you mention. The risk of false positives was too high for my personal comfort (and I had a friend with a false positive, so that scared me a bit), and I did not want to worry during my pregnancy. One thing that I have not seen mentioned yet that influenced my decision not to have it done was that I knew that (generally) any severe fetal abnormalities would be discovered at my 20-week ultrasound, and that if something was wrong that I needed to prepare for, I would still know well in advance of birth. The prenatal palliative care point above is a good one, so that is something to keep in mind, as well.
Anon says
We did extensive genetic testing with my recent pregnancy (including an amnio) and I’m glad we did. Even if you wouldn’t terminate for a medical condition, being able to research and prepare for any potential health challenges before your baby is born is a huge advantage. Insurance covered the amnio but not my NIPT, as I was under 35. If I recall correctly, the out-of-pocket cash rate for the NIPT was $200.
Also, the risk of miscarriage due to an amnio has declined significantly as technology advances. Ask your MFM specialist for more details about their specific statistics, but the miscarriage risk at the medical center where I had mine done was 1 in 980.
Anonymous says
+1 the miscarriage rate for an amnio is so so small. And NIPT has gotten so much more accurate over the past few years so false positives are very rare. We paid out of pocket since I’m under 35 and I am so glad we did. We didn’t do it for our first pregnancy and the quad screen just stressed me out.
As a note – even if you don’t do this testing you’ll still have an anatomy scan around 20 weeks which does also detect a lot of major issues.
Anon says
Does anyone else ever feel badly that they sometimes find their lives hard/exhausting? I know that I am privileged – I do not need to worry about how I will pay our rent at the end of the month, or feed our kids, we can afford a little bit of extra childcare, I do not work 3 jobs to make ends meet or have a spouse who is deployed or a kid with serious health issues, etc. and yet I am still often exhausted/overwhelmed and find life to be challenging
Cb says
Yep, and I think that’s okay. You can be aware of and work to change some of the broader systemic forces but also can acknowledge that even a privileged life can be challenging on a day to day level.
Anonymous says
I try to be gentle with myself and remember that just because someone else has a harder situation doesn’t mean my situation isn’t hard. I try to journal three simple, good things everyday to focus on a more positive mindset (it was sunny, I did great at my meeting, …)
anon says
Yep, I get this completely. I know that I have so many advantages compared to many, but I also find myself tired and mentally exhausted a lot. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes life feels relatively easy, and other times, it’s brutally hard. I think that’s just being a human being, though.
The Dread Pirate Roberts says
Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Ms B says
Excellent use of quotation.
FVNC says
I once asked the woman who cleans our house how she was doing, and she responded, “oh, I’m a little tired…working the night shift at McDonalds has been tough lately.” She is a mom of two. So yes, I definitely feel guilty for feeling that my life is sometimes difficult, when I know I have it so much better than most — but, I’m still often exhausted and stressed.
Anonanonanon says
Yes, but that is too deep of a rabbit hole to go down. Unless you are a mother in Aleppo digging your child out of rubble at this very moment, there’s someone with a harder life than you. Almost everyone in the world could think that. You’re allowed to be tired and exhausted, just don’t take it out on people who are struggling more than you (ie consider being extra friendly and tipping a bit extra at the coffee shop because it reminded you to be thankful you don’t work on your feet all day, etc.)
IHeartBacon says
Miserable days (weeks, years) are just part of the human condition. The part of us that makes us capable of wonder and brilliance and capable of recognizing beauty is the same part that is aware of sadness and feels grief, stress, and disappointment. Life is both complex and compelling.
ElisaR says
well said
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, I feel this a lot but life is not a race to the bottom to see who has it worst. I think we are allowed to feel exhausted and overwhelmed, even though objectively we have it pretty good. Being aware of this hopefully makes us more empathetic people and colors how we treat others. I try to be aware of my words and not make every conversion with others about how what they’re saying could be worse and just try to listen and sympathize with their struggles.
Anonymous says
Yes. I literally said this out loud to my therapist, because I do feel guilty that I feel worn out or stressed by things that a lot of other people would find an incredible blessing (high-paying job, healthy and energetic kids, upkeep for my comfortable home, etc). Her response was that acknowledging your privilege compared to others is important, but it’s equally important not to dwell on it. Your stress and exhaustion are not invalid because it could be worse.
Anon says
what are your kids’ age? what time do you do dinner and for how long? and what time is bedtime? trying to reassess some things in our household…
Mrs. Jones says
8 year old child. Dinner between 6 and 7. Bedtime 8:15 till 8:45 (incl shower and reading).
Anon says
Mine are 6 and 4.
Home by 6
Dinner – 6:30 – 7:00
Bath – 7:30
Bedtime routine – 8:00 – 8:30
Lights out at 8:30
Several rounds of shushing them and telling them to go to sleep
Asleep by 9:00
Anonymous says
Age 4 and 7. Arrive home 5:45 – kids get a snack. Start cooking around 6. Dinner 6:30/6:45 to 7-7:15. 20 mins of tv while we do dishes/chat, then they usually want dessert (fruit). Head up for bed at 7:45. In theory bath/pjs/story and asleep by 8:15 but it’s often 8:30-8:45. School starts later so they don’t have to get up until 7:30-8:00am but youngest is often up at 7am. We purposely moved to this school district because the elementary school is less crowded and starts at 8:45 instead of 8:25.
anon says
Age 9 and 4. We usually do dinner around 6:00, for roughly 20-30 minutes. Bedtime is 8:00 for the little one (start getting her ready and settled at 7:30) and 8:30 for the older kiddo.
AwayEmily says
16 months and 3 years. Arrive home at 5.
5:15 – 5:30: Dinner (we sit with the kids every night but only eat with them a few times a week)
6:15 – 6:40: Baby’s bedtime routine (clock turns green at 6:25am)
6:40 – 7:30: Toddler’s bedtime routine (clock turns green at 6:45am)
Both kids go to sleep pretty much immediately.
HSAL says
Our evenings are basically a disaster these days. 3.5, 11 months, and 11 months. We get home from daycare around 5:20, I get the older one a snack, throw the babies on the ground, put away milk, get changed, and start prepping dinner. Generally my husband gets home shortly thereafter and takes over kid duty. I shoot for dinner at 6:00, but in reality it’s +/- 15 minutes. At 6:30 (or after dinner on a bad night) we start getting the babies ready for bed. Goal for them is both fed and down by 7:00. Goal for the older one is 7:30, sometimes closer to 8:00 but almost never after.
Boston Legal Eagle says
FWIW, this doesn’t sound like a disaster to me, this sounds incredibly impressive with twin babies and a toddler!
HSAL says
Thanks, but I left out the parts with all the screaming and crying! :)
Cb says
21 months – we get home at about 5, do dinner at 5:30, play until 6:15 and then start doing the bedtime routine at 6:15. It’s a total scramble but we have to be out the door by 7:15 am so we can’t push it much later.
Em says
Son is 3, we usually eat between 5:30 and 6:30 (usually lasts 15-20 minutes). Bedtime is 7 pm, sometimes 8 pm on the weekends, and sometimes 6:30 during the week if he comes home from daycare super tired.
CPA Lady says
Kiddo is 4. We eat dinner at 5:30 ish (I have a short commute and DH works from home and does the cooking), and typically start bedtime at 7. Lights out by 7:30. A bath is not included in bedtime. Kiddo bathes a couple times a week in cooler weather, more frequently in warmer weather, and the bath takes place post-dinner, pre-bedtime.
We’re flexible though, and if we’re out hanging out with friends, bedtime can get pushed back to 8:30 or later. Naps are hit or miss both at home and at school, but we do require a bit of “quiet time” on weekend afternoons where she quietly colors in her room, or plays quietly. She usually doesn’t nap, but occasionally passes out hard.
drpepperesq says
kid is 2, almost 2.5. get home from daycare 5:45ish, i prepare him dinner and he eats in the high chair while i start prepping my husband’s and my dinner. husband walks in at around 6:15 and either gives him a bath or takes over the rest of our dinner prep while i do bath time. husband and i eat dinner around 6:45-7:15 while son watches youtube cartoons until around 7:30, when the three of us do milk, books, and bedtime at 7:45. son rolls around in his bed and finally actually starts sleeping at 8:30 (but thankfully does this silently and doesn’t cry or get out of bed!!).
a few guilt factors for me: son eats separately from husband and me instead of family dinner where we all eat the same meal, the tv watching while we eat. i have guilt about it but it’s what works for us the best and gives my husband and me some time to connect.
Pogo says
Hugs. This happens in our house too – sometimes it just doesn’t work to get everyone eating at the same time! Even when we do sit down to eat the same dinner, kiddo typically eats 2 bites of actual meal and then stuffs his face with fruit and quickly demands to be excused (“Go? Down?” while signing “all done”). So yeah, sometimes we let him get down and turn on a video so we can eat a relaxed dinner. Toddlers gonna toddler.
Anonymous says
16 months. DD and I get home at 5:15ish and DH is usually has dinner started (he works from home a lot). We eat at 5:30 as a family, play and read a bit and start the bedtime routine (which includes a snack for the toddler) at 6:30-6:45, with the goal of bedtime shortly after 7. We don’t do baths every day.
A. says
Kids are 9, 6, and 3 (nearly 4). If dinner isn’t served between 6 and 6:30 there will be Meltdown City in our house. If husband or I are picking up, we’re home by 6PM from after-care. 3x/week we have a nanny pick up right after school so she gets the homework/bath train going sooner. I love ushering the kids upstairs at 7:45ish so they’re asleep by 8:30, but they’re often not sleeping until 8:45 or 9 just because of after-school activities, one last book, squabble, etc.
Anon says
22 months. She eats dinner with DH sometime around 5 or 6, and then a light “second dinner” (really her nibbling off my plate or a full dinner if she wasn’t hungry earlier) with me after I get home typically around 8. If it’s a bath night, we start bath around 9:30; other nights bedtime starts around 10. She is not super scheduled though and we are flexible, so if she’s a total mess we start bed at 9 and if she’s still bouncing off the walls because of a late nap we start at 11. She generally sleeps until 9am.
Anonanonanon says
I have children that have.to.sleep or they are disasters. With that in mind:
9 year old: Dinner some time around 6 or 6:30 (unless he has a practice that night). Shower/teeth at 7. Bedtime at 8. In between shower and bed he can do whatever he wants except screen time on weeknights.
14 month old: Dinner around 5:30 if possible. Bath, in bed between 6:30 and 7:00.
The kids have to get up around 6:15 AM during the week.
Irish Midori says
Kids are 6 and 9. I get home around 5:45, dinner is 6:30-ish and takes approximately 67 years to eat, depending on how slow the 6yo is that night, bath time circa 7:30, books at 8:15, bed at 8:30, second try at bed for the 6yo at 9:00, 9:30, and/or 10:00.
SC says
Mine is 4. We eat dinner around 7. Kiddo tends not to be very hungry for dinner. If he’s not, we ask him to sit for 5 minutes, then he can ask to be excused. If he is hungry, he can ask to be excused when he’s finished eating. DH and I usually eat for about 30 minutes.
We start the bedtime routine around 7:30 or 7:45, depending on whether it’s a bath night. I start reading to Kiddo around 8, and tuck him in around 8:30. We’re struggling with bedtime, but Kiddo does not usually fall asleep until after 9.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Relevant question because I’ve been concerned about our 3 year old’s sleep patterns lately. For us:
Husband gets home at around 5:45/6 with either both kids (3 and 7 months) or just 3 year old if baby is home with my dad that day. He starts dinner then, and I aim to get home by 6 as well so I watch the kids while he cooks. Dinner is usually at around 6:30 – we all eat together. I then start baby’s nighttime routine and get him down by 7:15 at the latest. Husband starts toddler’s nighttime routine at around 7:15, which includes bath, teeth brushing and stories. The 3 year has been draaaaaging this out lately and while we aim to get him in bed by 8, he has been playing and sometimes not falling asleep until 9/9:30. Anyone have tips on how to get him to actually fall asleep? Caveat that he still naps – usually 1.5-2 hours at daycare and up to 3 hours on the weekends. So, that’s probably a hindrance but I don’t think he’s ready to drop his nap yet (and neither are we!)
ElisaR says
i don’t have a good answer for you, but my 3 year old does the same thing. Ever since day lights savings time we were getting him asleep around 9pm which is awful. We have gotten it to around 8:30-ish now by going up and starting earlier. So I bring him up with my 17 month old who goes down at 7pm. We stay upstairs and try to read books, p**p, brush teeth and get him down faster. It’s brutal having him up past 9. I need to eat myself, pack lunches, unpack stuff, do laundry and go to bed by 10.
SC says
My just-turned-4-year-old has been doing the same thing for months. He also naps at daycare for 1.5 hours but doesn’t nap at home.
We tried earlier wake-ups for 2 weeks, and the 7:30 bedtime went the same way as before, and Kiddo became increasingly tired and sleep-deprived.
We finally just accepted that Kiddo does not need to go to bed as early as he used to. We start the night time routine around 7:30 if he needs a bath, and 7:45 if he doesn’t. We end the night time routine around 8:30. He still doesn’t go to sleep until after 9 most nights.
In some ways, it’s tough because it used to be time my husband and I had to ourselves. But that time was ruined anyways, and at least this is predictable. We give Kiddo more independent play time in the evenings (which he can do more of now that he’s older), and we get things done earlier in the evening, and we go “to bed” (rest, watch TV on DH’s laptop, read) when Kiddo goes to bed.
HSAL says
My 3.5 year old is totally hit or miss on naps right now. A couple months ago we thought she was dropping the nap entirely because if she napped, she was up late that night. But then when we dropped, she suddenly needed it desperately. So lately she at least has to have quiet time, and if she falls asleep, we get her up early enough to not interfere with bedtime.
GCA says
I also have no good answer, my just-turned-4yo does the same thing. Naps at daycare, bedtime on weekdays is supposed to be 8 but is really closer to 9. No naps on weekends and bedtime is solidly 7.30-8. So all this sounds quite normal until they drop the nap for good. For now, could you just lean into it and enjoy the extra time with big kid? I actually kind of like it because I get to spend 1 on 1 time with him after the baby goes to bed.
Anonymous says
For us, we had to drop the nap . Otherwise would not sleep before 9:30.
Pogo says
Kiddo is almost 2. Dinner around 6:15, upstairs around 7, aim for lights out around 7:30.
Spirograph says
2, 4 and 6 year old children.
Home between 5:30 and 6.
Dinner starts between 6:30 and 7
Bedtime routine after that* (time varies based on need for shower and general cooperation)
Lights out is 8-8:30
Older kids often resist sleep until 9 or later
*in the summer, we’ll sometimes let the kids go back outside to play after dinner, esp on weekends or if the neighbor kids are out
They wake up around 7, and the younger two both still nap at daycare. 6 year old often takes a short nap on weekends.
avocado says
A slightly different take, with a 12-year-old.
Most days:
8:10: Kid arrives home. I have dinner on the table.
8:30: Husband and I are done eating. He does the dishes while kid finishes eating.
8:45: PJs, brush teeth, wash face. Pray that kid does not have questions about the homework she did before sports practice because I am just too tired to deal with it.
9:00: Bedtime
Starting in a few weeks, this timeline will be pushed half an hour later because sports practice will run longer. The kid should be able to handle it just fine, but I don’t know how I will survive going to bed any later. I have to be up much earlier in the morning than she does.
The one weeknight when kid has no sports practice:
6:15: I am the last to arrive home. Kid and husband are usually snacking on the couch. I unpack my stuff and change.
6:30: I start dinner.
7:10-ish: Dinner is on the table.
7:45-ish: PJs, brush teeth, wash face. If homework is finished, watch a show or read. Answer homework questions if necessary (becoming less frequent as she gets older).
8:30: Bedtime for parents and all electronic devices. Kid stays up to read.
9:00: Lights-out for kid.
Anonymous says
2 and 2, both need lots of sleep.
Home around 5:00.
5:15-5:30 todder dinner (leftovers); one parent sits at the table with them while the other starts cooking adult dinner
5:30-6:15 play downstairs or outside
6:15 upstairs, into pjs
6:30 brush teeth, 1 story, into cribs; sometimes they go to sleep right away, sometimes they sing/chat for 20 minutes first, but they’re always out by 7pm
None of our local friends have family dinner with their 2-year-olds during the week and we all feel guilty about it.
Jeffiner says
Wow, I knew my kid stayed up late, but never realized how far of an outlier we were. Daughter is 4. Home around 6:30, dinner 7-7:30. We get ready for bed between 8:30 and 9:30 (pajamas, brush teeth, read stories, she showers in the mornings with us). Lights out at 9:30, but she’s usually not asleep until 10:00. If I’m lucky we can pull the whole thing back by half an hour. I’m typically in bed and asleep before she is.
We wake up at 6:00 am. She wakes up easily enough, and is not grouchy in the mornings. She does nap at daycare, but rarely naps at home. She’s well behaved all day. Sometime I can tell she’s extra tired in the evenings and becomes cranky, but she usually just “hates the boring sleepy time.”
Anonymous says
Being an outlier is fine as long as it works for you and your kid! My son also whines “I hate sleep, sleep is so booooooring” and has been known to stay up until 10 or later if he’s feeling squirrely.
farrleybear says
This is pretty similar to our schedule–my kiddo is also 4. He typically sleeps a little later, but with Daylight Savings is getting up around 6 some mornings (including this last Saturday, sob.) But it works for us!
Anonymous says
2.5 and 9 months. Dinner at 6, baby bedtime at 7, toddler bedtime at 7:30. They are both early birds and usually awake by 6:30am. Getting dinner on the table at 6 is tough as the kids and I walk in the door at 5:45ish, but my husband either works from home or beats us home 3-4 days a week and has dinner waiting. On the days we arrive home at the same time, we do something easy out of the freezer.
Anonymous says
3.5. Dinner starts around 5:30, sometimes closer to 5:45 in the summer so we can spend more time outside after daycare. Kiddo’s bedtime routine usually starts around 7:00 – teeth, potty, book, PJs, rocking for a few minutes. She falls asleep sometime between 7:30 and 8:00 most nights. On weekends sometimes we start the routine closer to 7:15 because she naps more at home. Gets up around 7:00 a.m. We don’t do baths every night until it’s sunscreen and bugspray season (and definitely don’t wash hair every day in that season), and when we do baths, it’s not part of a bedtime routine.
Anonymous says
4 and 8 months. Arrive home between 5:30-5:45. Dinner as early as possible, 5:45 or 6 , finishing by 6:30. Short playtime. Bedtime routines for both start 6:45. Baby’s light it out by 7 and asleep almost immediately. 4 year old’s lights out time is 7:10, usually asleep between 7:20-7:30. We leave the house in the morning by 7:30 — baby wakes up between 6:30-6:45, big kid ideally wakes at 7 (typically a little earlier but not supposed to get up till 7). When we had just one kid and different jobs, got home 6:45, dinner 7, bedtime started at 7:30 and lights out at 8– but that kid would sleep in until 7, we didn’t have to leave until 8 am, had 3 naps until almost age 1, etc.
Quail says
Pick up kid (4) at 5:45. Home by 6 or a little after. He watches a show and has a snack while one of us makes dinner. Dinner around 6:30. Usually he’s done about 15 minutes later and is free to play until 7:00. We finish and join him in playing when we are done. We set a timer for 7 (if we remember) and that’s the signal for bedtime to start. If all goes well, he’s in bed by 7:30 and asleep by 8. We do one bath a week, on the weekend, unless he’s super dirty.
I posted a few weeks ago about the kid not falling asleep until 9-10 at night (and then being tired/crabby in the morning) and moving the start of bedtime back to 7 rather than 7:30 has made this so much better. We lose quality time in the evening, and he complains about not having time to play, but having a calm morning is so much better for everyone. We also went from 3 books at bedtime to 1 which streamlined the process as well.
anon says
I did not do any testing with our first and she was diagnosed with a genetic condition (that should’ve shown up on testing – note the tests don’t catch everything) at 8 months. It wouldn’t have changed any decisions on our part, but I think it could have positively benefited our daughter and the care she received from birth to diagnosis. I’m 30 weeks pregnant with our second now and got an NIPT – was told insurance would cover it because of DD’s condition but they did not because I’m under 35. I understand where you’re coming from because I knew it wouldn’t change anything for us but after the experience with our daughter it would’ve been so helpful to have that information up front rather than spend 8 months going through “something is not quite right but no one knows why”
anon says
Oops in response to above
outdoortoys says
We have a tiny side yard. Think ~400-500 SF with decomposed granite base and large live oak trees that provides tons of amazing shade.
First of all, for those of you that don’t have grass, has anyone purchased those rubber mats that lock together to put under toys?
We’re debating which are the best outdoor toys. Has anyone purchased a Little tikes 3′ trampoline or the 7′ with the net enclosure? Our daughter is 2 and we’re expecting another soon. I didn’t know if trampolines this small still have all the risks of the larger ones. Our neighbor recommended a bounce house because they collapse small and you can just inflate when needed, but I think all the bounce houses seem too large from what I can tell. Thoughts?
Also, thinking of purchasing a water feature. We have a water table, but think of either a sprinkler play mat or small plastic pool (the inflatable ones gross me out if we dont dry them properly). Thoughts?
Thanks in advance!
Anonymous says
All backyard trampolines are dangerous and can be an insurance nightmare. Bounce houses are also dangerous–we know several kids who have broken their arms just by tripping in them, not by doing anything crazy.
A regular garden sprinker is very entertaining and won’t get nasty like a mat or inflatable sprinkler. The fan type that oscillates from side to side is especially fun. If you have a tree that can support it, a fabric disc swing or a hammock swing would be great.
Anonymous says
I would not do a trampoline on a hard surface. And frankly I’m anti-trampoline in general because there are just so many gosh darn injuries from them. I’d stick with the water table and a little plastic pool. You could add a sandbox or a mud kitchen if you desire. For mud kitchen – get a beat up play kitchen and leave outside. Get some dirt and water and let your kid have at it!
SC says
We’ve tried to keep it simple with outdoor toys. Around that age, we had a water table, a small wagon, some balls, chalk, and bubbles. Kiddo received an inflatable pool as a gift, but we only used it a few times. We’ve never had a trampoline, and my understanding is that the small ones still carry some risks. Around 3, we gave Kiddo a balance bike.
My BIL and SIL have a large oak tree in their backyard, and they added a toddler swing that’s shaped like a horse. It’s a HUGE hit. And ask the kids get older, you could replace it with a regular swing or tire swing or whatever.
Anonymous says
I would do a slack line between the oak trees. Could you put a swing in one of the trees? Little tikes has a cute mini sized soccer net. Depending on your weather, maybe a play tent. A small slide. Water table is fine for now. Add a regular sprinkler later for variety.
HSAL says
We also have a small (and awkward) yard, and we’re doing a water table, sprinkler, and slide that can go indoors and out. I’m also thinking one of those small plastic climber/slide sets.
Your rubber mat idea has me thinking. Half our backyard is grass and half is hardscape.flagstone. It’s a real babykiller but now you have me wondering if we could do the mats on top to prevent them from smashing their faces in, or if it would just get too gross outside and/or be uneven…
HSAL says
Oh man, it did not occur to me that b@byk1ller is not a great term these days, and I’m certain that’s what has me in moderation. Apologies to everyone! I just meant my rocks are dangerous to children!
ThreeLittleKittens says
Good morning. Any recommendations on which payroll system to use to pay a part-time nanny who helps with the pickup/dinner routine? Also,
-Do you pay higher than an individual’s usual cash rate due to the taxes taken out (if so, how much)?
-How do you handle gas mileage and extra driving–cash bonus, mileage compensation, etc.?
-Appreciate anything else I can keep in mind. I want to keep things above board and be fair.
-How do you pay if you end up taking the person on a trip to help with childcare?
Thank you for any help you can provide!
Anonymous says
We use Homepay for our nanny. She’s full time but no reason it wouldn’t work for a PT employee. I love Homepay and wholeheartedly recommend them.
Anon says
+1. Homepay is expensive but worked great for us.
In my area, nannies that are paid on the books are usually paid a few dollars an hour higher, so I would definitely be prepared to offer more than her usual cash rate. I’d also be inclined to reimburse mileage if she’s doing a lot of driving the kids around.
RR says
We also use Homepay. We just negotiated the rate–I didn’t knowingly bump it because of withholding taxes.
Homepay has a way to input mileage or bonuses. For mileage, I just ask my nanny every week what her mileage was, and all I have to do is put the number of miles in when I finalize the hours. For bonus, there’s a line where you can add a bonus. It’s super, super easy.
Make sure you consider workers’ comp insurance. I also gave our nanny sick days and vacation time, and major holidays off paid.
Our nanny has not gone on a trip with us, but if she did, I would pay her normal hourly rate and then her expenses.
Hope that helps!
Anon says
Another vote for HomePay!
-Do you pay higher than an individual’s usual cash rate due to the taxes taken out (if so, how much)? We do not, but our nanny also wanted to be paid on the books so it worked out well for us.
-How do you handle gas mileage and extra driving–cash bonus, mileage compensation, etc.? Nanny keeps track of her mileage and we reimburse her each pay period at the IRS reimbursement rate. HomePay makes this very easy. After a few months of working with us, I added her as an authorized user on one of our credit cards so she can pay for kid expenses and run small errands for us without having to be reimbursed. We pay a cash bonus around the holidays and I include it in her holiday card.
-Appreciate anything else I can keep in mind. I want to keep things above board and be fair. Consider workers comp., paid time off/holidays, overtime, etc. Have a formal contract where these items are spelled out.
-How do you pay if you end up taking the person on a trip to help with childcare? We haven’t, but she has stayed overnight at hour house when DH and I were away on business. We paid hourly (plus overtime) until baby went to bed, and a flat $100/night for her overnight rate.
shortperson says
we just pay a local CPA to do the nanny taxes. he has an assistant in his office do it all and he charges way less than homepay.
SparrowHawk says
GTM Payroll Services is another option. Similar to Homepay but a less expensive.
SparrowHawk says
– GTM Payroll will also do your workers’ comp if you are required to have it.
– Always negotiate based on gross pay (hourly rate). The nanny’s net/take-home pay will be determined by her income tax withholdings (if you decide to withhold income tax. Social Security and Medicare must be withheld).
– For taking a nanny on vacation with you, this is a good rundown of what to consider: https://gtm.com/household/taking-your-nanny-on-vacation/. You’ll need to pay her normal hourly rate for all hours worked plus overtime and expenses (meals, travel, etc.)
– Most families will reimburse their nanny’s driving at .58/mile. I believe that’s the recommended IRS rate. But check their website.
Portable crib says
My post keeps getting eaten so trying this again –
I’m getting ready for a road trip with my infant son and need to take along a (common brand name square portable crib). For some reason the mattress in ours doesn’t lay flat ever since we moved it down from the bassinet position. It’s lumpy and doesn’t seem safe for sleep. Has anyone else had this issue? Any luck with replacement mattresses?
Elle says
Any recommended books or videos (why doesn’t Daniel Tiger have one??) on stranger danger? We have the Berenstein Bears book. We’ve talked about it with our five year old, but looking for other ways to reinforce without just constantly asking (what would you do if…).
Ducky36 says
“The Tale of Jemima Puddle Duck” by Beatrix Potter
Emily S. says
I just read the Berenstain Bears one with my almost-4 year old daughter, and at the end, I asked if she had any tips/remembered the Bears’ lessons. She replied, “Don’t sleep with strangers.” After I wiped the tears away, I told her to remember that in 13 years.
So no recs, but looking, too!
Anon says
I love that someone else knows it’s Berenstain!
Callie says
We haven’t really gotten there yet but I just saw a discussion on my (NYC based) facebook mom’s group about the concept of “tricky people” versus “stranger danger.” Seems worth a google to me–what I read online jived with how I (intend to once we get there) handle this. (Again–take this advice for what it is–just passing along something I saw but haven’t tested out or implemented myself yet)
Pogo says
I posted about this the other day when someone spelled it wrong and they had no idea! I think it is the weirdest thing how we are all so sure it used to be Berenstein.
Anonymous says
It’s pronounced Berenstein (last syllable sounds like steen) right? Or are people pronouncing it wrong too?
IHeartBacon says
This has me laughing so hard!!!
Io says
That’s horrifying. Your kid’s more likely to be struck by lightning than kidnapped by a stranger and expecting them to what — fight off an adult — is nuts.
We’re teaching our daughter all of the anatomical names of body parts and working on the concept of consent and not keeping secrets because she’s way more likely to be s3xually abused by a known adult.
Anon says
She didn’t say she’s teaching her kid to engage in hand to hand combat with an adult. You can teach your kids about some aspects of stranger danger (not to get in cars with strange adults, etc.) which seems pretty reasonable even if the odds of kidnapping by a stranger are low.
SC says
+1. My college roommate and her friend were once subjects of an attempted kidnapping. A man was driving around in a truck and wanted help looking for his lost puppies (really). They went inside to ask her babysitter, and the man left the scene. She didn’t fully understand what happened until years later. I think teaching basic things like, Don’t get in the car with strangers, and Don’t leave the yard without telling an adult where you’re going, won’t traumatize kids and may keep them safe in some situations.
And yes, you should also be teaching kids about consent and not keeping secrets and the anatomical names of body parts because they are more likely to be abused by a known adult.