During the transition from winter to spring, I love wearing dark florals — they meld with my winter wardrobe palette of black/navy/gray, but remind me that spring will come soon.
Dark florals have been popular for a while now, so there are lots of great options. Ann Taylor’s Floral Tie-Neck Smocked-Hem Popover stands out — it features a split neck with ties, and elasticized cuffs (perfect for pushing up when you need to get down to business).
The pattern of colorful, cheerful flowers would work nearly year round. It’s such a versatile piece — I could see styling it with a black suit for work, black leather trousers for an edgier look, or jeans for the weekend.
The top is $94.50 and available in sizes XXS–XXL, regular and petite (but be on the lookout for Ann Taylor’s frequent sales).
A plus-size option from Eloquii is on sale for $41.98 at Nordstrom (marked down from $69.95) and comes in sizes 14W–28W.
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We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – 2,100+ new markdowns!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything; extra 30% off orders $100+
- Eloquii – $39 select styles; 50% off select styles
- J.Crew – 25-50% off wear-now styles; extra 50% off select sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 50% off women’s dresses; extra 60% off clearance
- Loft – 60% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – Up to 40% off your order
- Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale: Extra 50% off markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- J.Crew – 25-40% off kids’ styles; extra 50% off select sale
- Lands’ End – Up to 40% off your order
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all kids’ & baby clothing; PJs on sale from $25; up to 75% off clearance
- Carter’s – Rule the School Sale: Up to 50% off; up to 40% off baby essentials
- Old Navy – 50% off back-to-school styles; 30% off your order, even clearance
- Target – Backpacks from $7.99; toddler & kids’ uniforms on sale from $5
- Pottery Barn Baby – Summer sale: up to 50% off
- Nordstrom – Limited time sales on brands like Maxi-Cosi and Bugaboo.
- Strolleria – Free infant seat car adapter with any Thule stroller; 30% off all Peg-Perego gear in our exclusive Incanto Collection
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Pogo says
How is everyone managing the shortened daycare hours? Seems like from the informal poll the other day we’re pretty much all facing it. Early in the pandemic I think people were understanding, but now I’m regularly booked before 8am and after 5 (we have coverage 7:30-4:30, though obviously have to leave a bit before that to do dropoff/pickup).
We have been switching off but we are seeing more and more conflicts (ie we both have a high-priority 4-5pm). I block starting at 4:30 but sometimes the VP’s assistant will message me to schedule directly, or like last night my husband’s boss just called him. I guess the answer is just stick to our boundaries, but I’m getting fed up that 10/10 of my male colleagues have a wife at home who handles everything so they literally shower and hop on the computer at 7am and stay there til 6pm and wonder why I can’t do the same.
Anon says
How late were you in the office pre-pandemic? Can either of you work later after returning from daycare pickup? Are you saving any time not commuting? I think it’s ok to be unavailable from, say, 4:30-5 or 5:30 but be available for a call between 5:30-6. Of course, best would be if colleagues were more understanding.
Anon says
My boss the other day told me that he feels really bad for people with young kids because in the beginning everyone was willing to be super flexible because of child care logistics, but now a year in he finds himself getting frustrated that those of us with young kids have more constraints than we used to. I’m glad that the two other direct reports with kids are men (one of whom is the default parent because his wife has a more demanding job), but still.
Cb says
Ugh, that’s the worst. And it isn’t like there is an abundance of childcare alternatives and people are just being fussy. We had a big stretch last year and then January/February where legally, childcare could not open. Nannies could not work in homes, etc.
Anon says
I definitely think people are being too hard on parents of young kids in the US, but your situation is very different. No one should be able to fault you for not having childcare if childcare is not legally permitted to be open. That’s not the situation in the US.
Anonymous says
People will still expect you to have a SAH spouse who keeps the kids out of the way.
Pogo says
Exactly. Many people are still dealing with remote learning or choosing to pull kids out entirely and homeschool, but they have a SAH spouse (always wife in my experience) who deals with the kids.
Anonymous says
In my experience, women with SAH husbands are even less sympathetic than men with SAH wives. And we have a number of women with SAH husbands in our office.
Anon says
Hah, I have a SAHH but my kid is a mama barnacle and we have an open floor plan so my 3YO is constantly popping in and out of video. And it’s fine (one of the many reasons I love my job). If she’s actually behaving for once and not on screen, people ask where she is.
AwayEmily says
My daycare’s COVID closing time is 4, which is extraordinarily inconvenient. We deal with the 4-6 block in a couple of ways. Nothing particularly brilliant, unfortunately. It sucks.
– Like you, blocking off that period when possible.
– Trading off with my partner depending on our busiest days for the week
– TV for the kids during calls
– Making up work after bedtime/in the early morning
I’ve also set up a little play area in my office (aka a corner of my bedroom, sigh) for the kids with crayons and Duplos. My husband has the same in his. The only time the kids use it is if we both have something scheduled during that 4-6, so it’s more “special” and it tends to keep them occupied for a bit. My office culture is such that if someone schedules me for a 4:30 over my explicit instructions that I’m not available at that time, I feel absolutely fine getting on the call with my kids in the background. YMMV but it seems to cut down on repeat scheduling during that period as well.
Anon says
Just curious, are daycares closing early so they have more time to clean?
HSAL says
I think it has to do with not mixing classes. In the before times classes would be combined at the beginning and end of the day and you needed fewer teachers. So now you might need 3 teachers for 5 kids instead of just one. Rather than pay more teachers for the normal hours, they’re trying to keep their staffing costs down with fewer hours.
AwayEmily says
Yes, this is definitely it for us. Fewer teachers and less ability to supplement with extra help — it’s a university daycare and they used to get student teachers to help out but no longer have those, for obvious reasons.
Anon says
Our university daycare still has student teachers. There’s one in my daughter’s classroom this semester. I wasn’t thrilled when I first heard about it, but from talking to her briefly she seems to be taking the campus Covid precautions very seriously and of course is always masked around the kids. I think the university views our daycare first and foremost as a laboratory for their faculty and students, so they’re not going to deny graduating seniors the opportunity to get their teaching credential. They don’t have some of the paid part-time student help they had in the past but that hasn’t affected the hours. They close 15 minutes early so they can do extra cleaning.
Pogo says
For us I think it is a mix of staffing and cleaning. The cleaning requirements are greatly expanded and they could be audited, so they have to prove that they are doing what they put in their re-opening plan. That takes additional time. And +1 on the staffing, they can’t mix classes and get by with floaters – so in our case it’s the same teacher all day long plus an assistant.
I don’t disagree with it, I get the challenges. But for me that extra hour on the end of the day was huge – I could take a 4-5 in the office, go back to my desk, check email and tidy up, maybe chat with someone on the way out, and still get kiddo by 5:30. Now at 4:19 I am rushing to get off the phone and run to the car.
Anon says
In my experience:
-Time to clean (our daycare has brought in a special cleaning service for general sanitizing, but their protocol also calls for every toy to be cleaned, which is done by teachers)
-staffing: Each classroom used to have just one teacher at the beginning of the day. Now, teachers are stationed to solely handle drop off for the first hour of the (shortened) day and then there is a teacher in each classroom to actually care for the children. This means two teachers are needed for opening.
-staffing: extra staffing/floaters aren’t possible because of strict limits on the number of humans in a cohort (teachers +children). They can’t add a teacher/floater without kicking out a kid.
My state’s daycare licensing sets mandates that are confusingly worded and are often well behind the latest public health recommendations (both in catching up to public health’s recommendations to take precautions at the beginning and catching up to public health’s guidance on cohort size and fomite transmission). Daycares stick with conservatively interpreting licensing mandates because no one wants to be faulted for not following Covid guidelines.
Anon says
At my kid’s daycare the teachers sanitize toys after every single use. The room absolutely reeks of bleach. It just seems so unnecessary given what we know about how Covid spreads and the fact that the kids are all in masks except at mealtime and nap, and although I try not to think about it too much I worry a little bit about the effect of so much exposure to those cleaning chemicals at such a young age.
Anonymous says
@12:20, that is why my mom retired from teaching preschool. There was no way she could sanitize each toy between uses, prevent sharing, clean toilets between uses while supervising the rest of the class, etc. The requirements to re-open were impossible. Her school wanted to still try. She was a year or three from retirement already so she just pulled the cord.
Anon says
The teachers have actually told me the cleaning requirements aren’t as challenging as they expected. They have big tubs of cleaning solution and so a toy goes in there when someone is done playing with it, and then it’s just not available for a while. I think the kids adjusted pretty quickly to the new rules.
AnonATL says
We only have the 1 infant, but whoever has the least important call post-daycare takes him and the baby occasionally makes his presence known. Usually it doesn’t happen because my husband’s core hours are 7-4 and he doesn’t have a “big” job. We are also lucky because both of our direct managers have young children and don’t mind the occasional baby squawk.
Pogo says
That’s a good point that it will just need to come down to who has the most important call, or who can take the call with kids in the background. We both have fairly big jobs that are getting bigger these days, it seems. A lot of times when I have to be on calls with multiple VPs/SVPs the only time their assistants can corral them all is out of “core” hours (or they aren’t in my time zone).
AnonATL says
Unfortunately my org has been pushing to only have meetings at the very beginning or very end of the day to increase our blocks of actual working hours. I appreciate having longer amounts of time to actually work, but man those 4-5PM meetings are obnoxious with a 6:30 bedtime.
Anon says
That’s awful!!!
Anonymous says
I would suspect that they’re doing this to ensure that people are not logging off early to start dinner or pick up their kids.
Anon says
But why shouldn’t people have the flexibility to log off early to get their kids? What matters is the work getting done. Most people I know who log off at 4 pm aren’t just like “woohoo, done for the day!” They’re logging back in after dinner or kid’s bedtimes. This must be b*tt in seat until 5 pm on the dot is such a toxic, family unfriendly attitude.
anne-on says
I am so glad the attitude amongst my team is just get the work done and do your best. I take 7am calls and 9pm calls with Europe and Asia without complaining, so if I want to log off at 4:45 to get dinner started I would be FURIOUS if my manager decided to say that meant I wasn’t doing my work appropriately.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’ve been lucky in that it hasn’t been an issue so far to block off 4:30-7:30 everyday – my boss gets it and my team will step in if there’s a necessary meeting scheduled within that time block, or if something needs to get done then. I log back in after bedtime. I typically do drop off and pick up but will switch with my husband if needed for the afternoon. Husband doesn’t have early or late meetings (or just doesn’t attend them), and makes it clear that he’s got small kids and that they are sometimes at home due to Covid protocols. We’re both senior enough that we can say this and in demanding but not necessarily “big” jobs.
It will come down to a culture change, and likely needs to come from the men with small kids too. But yeah, it’s tough when the men have stay at home wives who do everything. I don’t know how to fix that.
anon says
After taking a non-optional work call in a parking garage while my just-picked-up-from-daycare infant screamed her head off for 45 minutes in the car, we switched to a nanny. Daycare drop off and pick up wasn’t compatible with our jobs.
I still haven’t forgiven myself for that incident.
octagon says
I know it bothers you, but please give yourself the grace and compassion you would extend to a teammate in the same circumstance. Juggling parenting and work right now (and frankly, always, but even moreso now) is just so challenging because neither thing has the uber-flexibility that we need.
Anonymous says
I read it more as guilt towards the baby than guilt towards the job. I promise you, your baby is okay and will not remember this ever happened. You could have been stuck in traffic behind a car accident for 45 minutes and unable to comfort the crying infant safely.
Anon says
Yeah one time we took a 4 hour road trip and my daughter screamed the ENTIRE way. It wasn’t fun for any of us, but I also don’t really feel any guilt about it, because what was I supposed to do? We had to get home so other than making sure we weren’t ignoring a basic need like hunger or a dirty diaper, there was nothing really for us to do other than drive and listen to her scream.
Anonymous says
I was stuck behind a car accident for 45 minutes with a crying baby, pre-covid. Baby now a happy, healthy 4yo. Like you, I felt a lot of gilt at the time, but in the broader picture it wasn’t a big deal.
Anon says
So my answer is a little different because we have a nanny so there’s no dropoff/pickup issue, but she is only here 9am-5pm (by our choice – I didn’t want more than that). We both have “big jobs” and so I put in time early in the morning before she wakes up, and then block off starting at 430pm. If something gets scheduled for after 5pm that I absolutely cannot reschedule to my “working hours”, then I hop on the video with baby in carrier or in my lap, playing with toys I’ve strewn across my desk. And I just say “Hi everyone, Baby is joining us today because my nanny isn’t here right now.” and then get right into the topic of discussion.
Anon says
is sticking to boundaries at all acceptable in your workplaces? i work, but don’t have a ‘big’ job, but DH does. i always read on here about people blocking from 5:30-7:30 or whatever for dinner/bedtime and then continuing work after, but anytime i suggest that to DH, he says he can’t. i know that he knows his own workplace best, but sometimes i wonder if he actually can’t, would prefer not to bc of optics at work, or would prefer not to bc he doesn’t want to work more post-bedtime. we live in the central time zone and his boss sits in Europe, so he has a lot of early morning calls (7am), and another more senior member in New York has a wife who also has a ‘big’ job, but they have two nannies. did you talk to someone before you started blocking the time or you just did it?
Anon says
I’m suspicious of “just can’t” – I think men say that a lot. Whereas women “just do” or “just have to.” I’ve been working hard on my DH to change his mindset.
I don’t block time but I will totally have kids interrupting me if the call gets scheduled a certain time of day. Honestly it’s pretty easy to do with an infant, it’s a lot harder when the interruption is from a 4 or 5 year old. We’ve really tried to train them not to bother us, but they forget. My DH’s job is more demanding and important so even if he can’t block a period, I’ll make him take the youngest on a stroller walk and take calls that way. It’s much less disruptive than watching the older ones.
So yeah, we’re limping along. Three young kids during this period is a lot, but I suspect it would have been equally hard pre-pandemic!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, nothing will ever change until dads set these boundaries too. I know in a capitalist society, paid work is seen as more “valuable” but in reality, the work that parents do to take care of children and the house is equally important, and in the long run benefits all of society with more workers, taxpayers, etc. If he had a work meeting from 1-2, would he say he “can’t” make it because he wants to watch TV? Well, when you think of childcare duties as equally important, then you need to make time for them too.
Anonymous says
Yeah men “can’t” and women somehow always just…do.
Anon says
thanks. this was my sense too. men “can’t,” but women somehow figure it out
Pogo says
As mentioned above, if I block my calendar, most people will respect it and not schedule a meeting over it. Or if it’s my boss and he just wants to touch base, he doesn’t care if I’m in the car driving to daycare and have kids in the background. I’ve even done 1:1’s with my VP in this scenario (or supervising kiddo while he plays outside).
But when it’s presenting to multiple VPs, I need silence and concentration. Ditto if either of us needs to present to a large audience (like to our entire org, with hundreds of people on the call). And those types of meetings are really out of our control. Like I said, the VP’s assistant will reach out to me directly and try to work with me, but sometimes the only time is 5pm or something, because the meeting needs to happen this week.
I would say that is NOT the norm, I’m also in a busy period, so I would not believe someone who says they “can’t” block their calendar.
Anon says
My honest answer is I’m not handling it. Daycare hasn’t shortened their hours but they were short to begin with (8-5) and daycare is at my former office, so I now have to end my work day at 4:30 instead of 4:50 to get to pickup on time. I feel like 4 pm meetings weren’t common before the pandemic, but now I have a lot of them and get heat when I say I can’t attend or have to sign off at 4:30. I’m in a similar situation with respect to colleagues’ home lives – very few of my co-workers have kids at home and the few who do are men with wives who stay at home. Everyone else seems to be 110% productivity since they’re saving the time they used to spend commuting, while I feel like I’m struggling to keep my head above water at much less than full productivity. And people are definitely noticing and not happy about it.
Anonymous says
Can you switch from video to audio only on the phone to remain in the meeting and participate via bluetooth while you drive to daycare? In the before times, I frequently had to do this to be part of calls if I had court or a deposition run late. I’ve participated in board meetings over Bluetooth while driving.
Anon says
yes, I did this in before times too. I also recall when a male executive was doing this and he bragged he was driving his kids to daycare! They were making noise too. Everyone thought this was adorable because – he was a guy? (grrr)
Pogo says
Pro tip for this, I personally find it easier to start the call driving so I don’t have to try and reconnect from my phone to the car or go from teams on my PC to the dial-in. So I’ve dialed in from my car and sat in the parking lot to take it, only going to get kiddo at the last possible second.
Anonymous says
+1 to this.
Car time (on the way to kid / post pick up) is a great way to do the “catch up calls” with 1 or 2 people/ clarify a request that you made etc. Anything where there aren’t a lot of docs to review.
TheElms says
We have a nanny who works 8am-5pm but we used to have 7am-6pm at daycare. Even without pickup / drop off and a commute its just a struggle. Both my husband and I have big jobs and we looked for an alternative who could work longer hours early in the pandemic but couldn’t find anyone. Then to make sure we kept our nanny who we really like and our kid loves we signed a contract until mid-August. As more people get vaccinated and community spread drops I think we’ll likely try to get a high schooler to come in the evenings to make dinner (from a meal kit) and play with our kid from 5-6/6:30pm every day if we can. We have neighbors with high school kids who haven’t been able to have jobs because of Covid and I’m hoping something like this might appeal to one of them as a way to make money.
Anon says
I’m the poster who posted about three kids above. We recently had a high school senior start coming in the evening – she actually doesn’t make dinner but watches the kids so one of us can do it. It’s been awesome. It’s not every day, but those are my favorite days! Highly recommend evening help if you can swing it!
Pogo says
Thanks, this is a good thought. Even just a few nights a week would be clutch for us in the busy times.
I gave up on meal kits and now I just get full pre-cooked meals delivered. I am out of f*cks to give and throwing all the money at everything.
TheElms says
So far I can cook while watching toddler. Toddler likes “helping” so I give her something in a bowl to stir. What do you do for full meals delivered? We did Freshly but DH got sick of it (I agree it was repetitive, but I didn’t care as much).
Anon says
Also curious. We tried freshly and thought it was terrible. We’ve gone back to HelloFresh but every other week and then on the off weeks do some combination of freezer food (pizza, pot pies, potstickers, empanadas), simple meals and take out. Seems to be the right combo between me throwing in the towel after 11 months of being solely responsible for cooking, DH hating to cook but willing to try to do the hellofresh to keep my sanity and my distaste for freezer food and takeout.
Pogo says
Cookunity – they deliver on the east coast only I believe, since it’s out of NYC. But it’s a gamechanger.
Anon says
I’m so jealous of everyone with decently healthy prepared meal services. I live in middle of nowhere midwest and it’s not an option here. It’s takeout or bust, and most takeout is really unhealthy. I used to live in the CA Bay Area and we had prepared meal delivery 3 days a week and it was indeed a game-changer (even without a pandemic).
GCA says
You know what a real gamechanging invention would be? Some sort of fridge/ robot combo that retrieves whatever’s in your fridge and makes something delicious with it. Who needs jetpacks? Where is my auto-chef?
CHL says
I found a personal chef via the moms Facebook group in my area and I love it! I have her cook several cooked vegetables and a couple proteins (e.g. chicken breasts, salmon, shrimp, pork tenderloin) weekly and we mix and match them throughout the week. It probably ends up being something <$10 meal which to me is totally worth it right now.
Anonymous says
Do you mean $10/meal for just the labor, or including ingredients? Or $10/person/meal? It costs me way more than $10 to cook a family meal myself!
So Anon says
Not daycare – but similar issues with school. My kids are in hybrid learning, so 2-3 days per week depending on the week. Our district heavily encouraged all parents to drive their kids to school this year. It means that instead of walking my kids to the bus stop at 8:05, I am now doing two separate drop offs at two elementary schools. (Our district splits K-2; 3-5, but one bus took both kids.) I am generally home around 8:40, and I block my calendar from 8:00-8:45, but it does not stop others scheduling meetings at 8:30. And yes, those people have access to my calendar. It results in a lot of emails with me saying that I cannot join until 8:45. There have been numerous days where I start a call in the drop-off line and by the end I am on video at home. I felt guilty about it for a while, but now, I just don’t have the bandwidth to care about people being unable to understand that they cannot double book me at that time. I face the same issue with school pick-up some days.
At this point, I am relatively senior in my company. I view part of my role as being forthright about these things. I do the best that I can to accommodate, but my kids come first and I do not apologize for that.
Clementine says
I just got word yesterday that we’re back to normal hours! I could have kissed our daycare director.
Last night, I had to make a 2 minute ‘hey, you see that email I sent, right’ call while driving my kids home from daycare. My toddler shouted gleefully ‘DADDY!’ when the professional contact I called answered. SUPER PROFESSIONAL.
When I think back, I’ve survived with a lot of screens, a lot of patience, and the occasional ‘standing outside my parked car while my children listen to music inside.’
Pogo says
ooo I like that last suggestion about standing OUTSIDE the car and putting music on for him. He tends to yell DONT TALK MOMMY whenever I talk (why? dunno).
People think the baby is very cute but the screaming preschooler less so.
Anon says
Preschoolers are the worst I think? My kinder kid isn’t great either. At this point in the pandemic I can work with a baby in the room all day long. The older kids are a problem!
Anonymous says
My 3 year old yells “DON’T TALK MOMMY AND DADDY” at my husband and me when we try to have a conversation in front of her that doesn’t involve her.
TheElms says
My toddler repeatedly says “bye bye”, “person bye, bye” because that’s what we say when the call ends. Its funny at first, but definitely not 10 minutes into a call and she is still going strong on bye bye.
NYCer says
My 2 year old does this too because she wants me to hang up!
Katy says
Not!
i had big meetings the last 2 days so my spouse was on both drop off and pick up. I cannot tell you how amazing it was to have an extra 90 mins at the office (i am combo in person…. that is a whole other issue). We prioritize based on meetings. Unfortunately, my hubby seems to have more early / late meetings. Theoretically my office has agreed that internal meetings should be within 9 – 4 window, where possible. We both work post bedtime to actually get stuff done (hubby was logged in until 10:30 last night – bless him… and that is actually not a bad night).
As someone posted about the other day, i do a 5:30 – 7 am shift – which I think is actually the best solution.
Pogo says
yeah, that’s a good idea too. Right now both of mine are waking right in the 5:30-6 time and I’m not eager to change given daylight savings. I saw that post about working after the 4am baby wakeup and I might do that once the time change is over.
Anonymous says
We lucked into this, but it has worked out well – the assistant teacher in our kid’s class brings our daughter home. The teachers are also suffering from the shortened hours! This gives the teacher an extra hour of pay each day. We pay the teacher to bring kid home and watch her for a bit. It is usually less than an hour, but we agreed to a 1 hour minimum per day (this arrangement always gives me an extra hour of work time even if the teacher’s time is less). We also purchased an extra car seat. An added bonus is that it doesn’t expand our Covid bubble or the teacher’s bubble. I know this might be a long shot, but maybe worth a try? In our case, the teacher approached us. The center director approved it.
We still aren’t dealing well with the late opening. But since we have more wiggle on pickup, we trade off starting late.
Also, if everyone is vaccinated by June I have hope the end is actually in sight. If shortened hours are the new normal forever, I think more folks will have to hire pick up nannies. Which is really just not practical for most families.
Anonymous says
Not to be Debbie Downer but my daycare center director told me they expect nothing to change in terms of Covid protocols until kids can be vaccinated. It’s a real bummer. We’re lucky enough to have normal hours, but I feel like my kid is missing out on a “real” preschool experience due to the lack of visitors and field trips and being forced to stay 3 feet away from her classmates at all times. I don’t much care about masks (I actually kind of like it because it reduces non-Covid illness too) but I wish the other stuff go away once all adults who want a vaccine can get one. I’m doubtful it will happen though. And I’m in a very red state that will probably repeal its mask mandate in the next few weeks.
Pogo says
This sounds like the ideal setup! Not sure it’s feasible for us, but if this does keep going on past when teachers are vaccinated, I might look into it. Or a babysitter pickup + watch kiddo combo.
Anonymous says
DH and I are staggering our work hours. He works in an office, and goes in very early and leaves in time to pick up from school at 3:30. I do drop-off at 8:30 and work from home. Once DH and the kids get home around 3:45, I can’t count on getting anything important done, and my zoom meetings will be interrupted. DH is on kid duty, but short of posting himself in front of my door, he can’t keep them out. And even if he did that, I would hear them. My boss and colleagues are understanding; it frustrates me a lot more than it frustrates them. If I have work left over that requires focus, it gets done after kid bedtime.
Now that the weather’s nicer, my husband can start going to the playground instead of coming straight home and that will be a huge help. I just want to go back to my office, though. It’s not fair to expect that my house is conducive to professional work at all hours of the day.
Black-out shades? says
I’m looking to add additional shades to our east-facing window this summer to block out the sun in the morning.
Current window treatments are standard blinds, but they are not light blocking. Has anyone tried the DIY solutions that you cut to size and stick to the top of the window frame?
Any recs?
anonamama says
We clipped in panels to the back of our curtains for additional light blocking, if that’s an option for you.
Realist says
You could do a dark film. Either one that clings to the window or a shade that rolls down behind your other window treatments
Anon says
I’m frustrated that our hours are still short – 7:30-4:30. The teachers can all get vaccines in my area, but they’re not mandating them, and they’re not giving us a date when hours will be expanded. It’s a sellers market, so they don’t need to improve.
White Noise dependence says
Is there a point when we need to worry about baby becoming dependent on his hatch white noise for sleep? I’m planning to pack it for an upcoming trip so he can sleep, and it’s pretty bulky. We are visiting vaccinated grandparents and will be sleeping in the same room as him.
Kid will be 8 months soon, and we use it for naps at home and overnight sleep.
Anon says
my soon to be 3 year old still sleeps with a white noise machine. we travel with it. you can buy a smaller non-hatch one to travel with. or if you plan on visiting grandparents frequently, just purchase one to keep there. i actually started sleeping with one in my 20s and only stopped when my kids were born so i could hear them if they were to cry
AwayEmily says
I highly recommend Lectrofan Micro for travel, which is AWESOME. So tiny yet so effective! Re: dependency…my kids have been sleeping with white noise machines since ~6 weeks old (pretty quiet, on the other side of their rooms as their beds) and while it’s definitely a nice part of their evening routine, we’ve forgotten it at times and it’s been fine, and they nap without white noise at school.
Anonymous says
Yes as ours get older we’ve forgotten it and they’ve still slept fine. We like it at home to block out noise of DH and I after bedtime/early morning since our house isn’t big.
Anon says
This. We use it at home, but they’ve been fine without it. Sometimes use something else for travel. Not worth your mental energy. (kids are 6, 4, and 2 – all have hatch at home)
Lise says
Hatch just released the Hatch Rest mini, which is great and much smaller/travel friendly. I actually bought it for my work space to drown out baby/nanny noise during the day. It has fewer sound options, but includes my kiddo’s favorite.
Jeffiner says
We used a white noise app on our phones in a pinch. My daughter wanted her sound machine until around 4-5, then she just started forgetting to turn it on at night.
Pogo says
+1 I have used my work phone as the white noise machine on many a travel, starting from when my oldest was 10 weeks.
Anon. says
+1
We have an old phone that we downloaded a white noise app to for use in the car and stroller.
anon says
I was worried, and then the texan Armageddon storm meant we had no power, so no white noise, and the 19m old slept through. That being said, I continue using it, mainly because we’re trying to adjust his routine and the noise is a strong signal to him at this point. as others have said, i got a small battery operated one for when we travel
DLC says
My sister in law still uses a white noise machine for herself. She’a 42 and a very light sleeper. When she travels she uses a white noise app on her phone.
My children grew out of white noise machines by the time they were two, but maybe if an older kid need white noise to fall asleep, then that’s just what they need and it’s probably fine? Not an expert by any means, just anecdotal observations.
Anon says
talk to me about how to evaluate public schools when purchasing a house. i know that a lot of people are currently feeling quite down on public school due to covid, but our oldest won’t start Kindergarten until 2023, so hopefully things will be better by then (as an aside – if you switched your kids to private school due to covid, do you think you’ll keep them there forever? i think the makeup of public schools could change due to covid). i attended private school my whole life so don’t really know how to tell if a school will be a good fit or not. we are deciding between areas that are adjacent, but zoned to three different elementary schools. the ‘best’ school of the three is quite large – 8-10 kindergarten classes in a typical year, how much should that matter? would you send your kid to a title I school?
Anon says
The number of classes per grade matters not at all, in my opinion. If anything, I think bigger is better (small schools can be really toxic socially by late elementary because everyone has known each other since they were 5 and all the kids have gotten labeled by their peers; bigger schools allow for some mixing of kids who hadn’t previously had a class together, so your kid might make a new friend in, say, 5th grade). If you’re worried about size, it’s class sizes that matters, but I think things like the quality of the teachers and administration matters more.
If this is your local area, the best thing to do is talk to parents with kids at each of the schools and see what they say. If you’re moving to a new area, realtors can usually give you the scoop or connect you to parents to talk to. I volunteered in my kid’s future elementary (pre-Covid) so I feel like I know it pretty well now – that’s obviously a significant time investment but is probably the best way to really suss out a school.
OP says
thanks! i was hoping to visit the schools in-person, but Covid. appreciate the thoughts on grade size. i was wondering if a larger school would yield less of a sense of community. we aren’t totally new to town, but newish, and are hoping to one day maybe make some friends through the parents at the school, but if my kid has a kid in their class in K and then never again until 5th grade, i was wondering if it is harder for both kids and parents to make friends. but i like your point about kids not being ‘labeled’ as much
Anon says
Our elementary is a similar size, and there’s a very strong sense of community. Pre-Covid there were a lot of school-wide social events and also grade-wide events. You can also request specific teachers so it’s possible to stay paired up with friends. But the option for mixing is also there. I think big school with small classes is the best of both worlds, personally.
Anon says
Are they all in the same school district? I would focus on that, too, unless you plan to move again down the road. Fwiw I think Title I schools may be more beholden to getting certain standardized test scores, so that may be something to research if that matters to you.
OP says
yes, all in same school district. the school district here is HUGE.
AwayEmily says
We kind of figure we’ll take it as it comes. We’re sending ours to kindergarten next year to our local elementary (city school), which gets a mediocre “ranking” but the people I’ve run into in the neighborhood like it. It’s majority-minority, it has a decent playground, we can walk to it…I figure I’ll send her there and if it’s not a good fit for some reason we can reconsider down the road.
Anonymous says
If I could do it over, I would prioritize (1) availability of magnet schools and (2) differentiated instruction at all grade levels.
Anon says
all the same district and this is available at all schools
Anonymous says
Our elementary school isn’t Title I, but it is a “Focus” school, which denotes a large difference in test scores between different demographic groups. There are advantages to these schools aside from the diversity (and hopefully inclusion) of the student body — class sizes are smaller, and there are more resources allocated per student — more teachers, more counselors, etc etc.
When I was looking to buy our house, there were 3 elementary school zones in our target area, all of which feed into the same middle and high school. I looked at the test scores and demographics, but more important to me was the number of suspensions and safety incidents reported. Then I looked at the websites and asked around about the PTA and the schools to gauge how involved people are, how communicative the administration is, etc etc. I did not tour the school or talk with administrators (I was pregnant with my first child when house shopping, if you already have a good idea of the environment your child needs, you could probably ask more specific questions). Ultimately, I decided that any of the three schools would be fine and it wasn’t a primary factor in our house search. Now there’s a major rezoning initiative in our district. It’s unclear how that might affect our school path, but just keep in mind that best laid plans might not work out due to district actions.
I left public school for the pandemic and am probably not going back next year; the private school is serving my ADHD son very well, and I just don’t have the bandwidth to navigate the IEP process if we go back to public this year, and I doubt the teachers will have the bandwidth to meet his needs when they’re trying to close the learning gaps from the last year of virtual school. I am planning to return the school year beginning in Fall 2022. It’s probably too early to say whether the makeup of your public school will be “permanently” changed. Anecdotally, most of the parents at our current private school who were public school pre-pandemic are planning to go back either next year or the year after.
Anonymous says
Our kids will go to a title 1 school. Our neighborhood of houses is not low income but there’s an apartment complex where a lot of kids are. I think it’ll be fine, classes are really small and they get extra resources. Worst comes to worst we can move or afford private (although not ideal)
Anonymous says
This exactly why ours is a focus school. Our neighborhood is $400k++ single-family homes and there’s some racial & ethnic diversity, but it’s overwhelmingly English-speaking nuclear families and at least one white-collar professional parent. There’s a non-luxury apartment complex next to the school that is primarily immigrant families, many multi-generation, with lower incomes and ESL students. The school administration is really focused on inclusion, which is wonderful. I don’t feel like my children are missing out on anything academically (non-ESL, non-FARMS test scores are generally high), and I see it as a positive that the environment is so much richer than the homogenous white middle class school district I grew up in.
Anonymous says
Poster above. This is exactly us too!
CPA Lady says
Do you know any public school teachers? They can usually give you the inside scoop about the reputation of different schools. I live in an area with a countywide school district and I know a number of teachers who have taught at different public and private schools in the county. They are a wealth of information.
Anon says
My kid goes to a wonderful Title I school. The Title I designation gets the school some extra resources, though I suspect even more resources come from parent fundraising. The school is in an extraordinarily wealthy area, but there are enough children from low income families to qualify the school as Title I.
The PTA works really hard to get the children everything they need and to make things equitable. School supplies, breakfast, and field trips are available to all children at no charge. The school secretary has funds to quietly provide other things if a child is in need.
Anonymous says
I attended magnet programs at Title 1 schools for elementary and junior high, then went to high school in a wealthy district. The magnet programs were majority nonwhite with a large proportion of students on free lunch. Academically, the Title 1 magnets were far superior to the fancy rich school. In elementary there were no issues with violence, racially motivated bullying, etc. The junior high had significant gang, fighting, and on-campus drug use issues, mostly among non-magnet students but definitely visible to magnet students. There was also a large amount of anti-white bullying in the magnet program. All racially motivated bullying in the affluent high school was against non-white students. Students who used drugs or engaged in violence were immediately transferred to the alternative school, so there was very little of that on campus.
Anon says
I attended a title 1 school (grew up rurally). Kids from my school went to Ivies, became lawyers and professors etc. They were the middle class kids, but it didn’t hurt them.
Honestly, you’re posting on this board. It doesn’t matter. Achievement among young children is almost entirely based on parental income.
Part of me really suspects that parents who send their kids to the “best” schools or whatever really don’t believe in their child’s ability to be successful. Or they have such a narrow definition of success that it doesn’t matter.
I’d ask about homework expectations and the amount of time devoted to test taking. And go with whichever school has the least. (Our elementary school has no regularly assigned homework.)
Anon says
Is it easier to wrangle kids into carseats once you flip them forward facing? My 3 year old is incredibly strong-willed, plus physically strong and also very big for her age (almost 40 lbs and like 43 or 44″). When she decides she’s not getting in her carseat, it’s almost impossible for me to get her in. Fortunately most days she’s cooperative or at least can be reasoned with, but on the days that she completely loses it and fights hard, I am completely at a loss. We’re switching to FF soon because of her weight so any chance this will get easier then? Any other strategies?
Signed, yesterday at daycare pickup I actually called my husband and asked him to drive to her school to help me force her into the seat. I ended up getting her in before he left the house but WHEW that was not a fun day.
Anon says
It’s quite possible the new seat will be a novelty for her and she’ll like it. You can tell her she’s facing forward like a big kid? Also maybe if there are different seat options that are equally good, you can let her pick the seat or the upholstery or whatever else the choices are.
Anon says
Same seat, just flipping it around, but she says she’s excited about facing forward. It’s not a resistance to the car seat in general though. 99% of the time she goes in it happily, and we’ve done 12 hour road trips where we only stopped for fast food and potty breaks. It’s just that sometimes she’s upset about something else and decides to fight me on everything, including getting into the carseat. Spillover meltdowns I think is what they’re called.
Anon says
That’s different and I would work with her on transitions in general (which most kids need work with). Sometimes you just have to allow the time for the meltdown.
Anon says
Not to be all “you don’t understand spirited kids” but we’d still be in the parking lot if I’d waited for her to decide to get in the carseat. I know there are (allegedly) some kids who just need to cry for a few minutes and then they will move on, but that’s not my kid and never has been. Transitions have been an issue in the past but we’re making a lot of progress on that front and this wasn’t a meltdown about a transition. This was a meltdown because I picked her up late and school and she was sad and maybe scared about that and took out her big emotions about that by refusing to get into the carseat.
Anon says
When she feels this way, can you bribe her with a special treat, some screen time, or some other reward? That seems more workable than having someone else come and physically place her in the seat.
Anonymous says
I used to ask their best thing a s hardest thing as we left daycare. Starting the discussion before you get to the car and keep it going through the car seat process. Helps avoid the meltdown. Also generally had a snack on hand like goldfish or apple sauce to hand over once buckled.
Anon says
Nope, bribes have zero effect on her. Obviously I realize having to call someone to help is not normal but that’s never happened until yesterday and I did end up getting her in before he even left the house. I’ve read a lot of parenting books and I feel like we’re making a lot of progress at decreasing the frequency of meltdowns. I was more just hoping people had tips for how to actually wrestle large preschoolers into rear-facing carseats? Like maybe there’s a strategy for which part of the body you position first? I’m tall myself and have always thought I have average strength so I feel like this shouldn’t be so physically hard, but somehow it is.
Anon says
I have a spirited (and similarly sized unbribeable 3YO) kid; maybe they were twins in a previous life. I hear you and see you. I think it easier to wrestle them in forward-facing because you can sort of wedge your body in there too with less risk of getting kicked in the face, particularly if the front seat is all the way forward to give you a bit more room. I either wrestle her in (she is big and strong but so am I) while I am sure everyone around thinks I’m kidnapping her, or I tell her I will be back when she is ready to cooperate, I close and lock the door, and I walk a few steps away ideally out of her line of sight and let her have her meltdown for 2-3 minutes. That’s usually enough to jolt her at least into physically cooperating when I reopen the door, even if she is still wailing. Sometimes I have to reclose it and give her another 2-3 minutes.
Anonymous says
So, no advice on easiest way to restrain a toddler but I used to work in a jail and had to do a lot of restraints on out of control 16-21 year olds, oftentimes for their own safety. We always wanted to secure legs first. Punches hurt but legs have a lot more strength with which to push away and kick. Stationary punches hurt less than those with momentum from legs behind it. Once someone’s legs are immobilized, they are a lot easier to control. I think when EMTs strap in car accident victims they start with the legs for the same reason.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Probably, because then you can get in the backseat with her and hover over her in the seat as you do the straps. As a light at the end of the tunnel, my first was not always cooperative with his carseat, but now, at age almost 5, he can do his own straps (I still have to tighten) and can completely undo them to get himself out. It’s amazing!
Anonymous says
If she’s that big, rear-facing is probably very uncomfortable. I would expect less resistance facing forward.
Instead of turning the convertible seat I would consider buying a “harness booster,” which only faces forward and doesn’t have the giant base. My kid found that style of seat more comfortable.
Anonymous says
It will help but it’s not a golden ticket by any means. We were strict on car seat behaviour. By age three the expectation is to climb into their seat, put arms in straps and wait to be buckled. Fussy babies are one thing but we didn’t tolerate car seat fussing in the preschool years. It only took a few time outs when we got home and a couple instances of lost screen time before we got better behaviour. If the issue is that it is uncomfortable for her then address that. Does she need her coat off? We left snow pants on, took coat off and tucked a large fleece blanket around them.
I switched my larger than average kids around age 3. I would definitely use turning to forward facing as a reward for excellent behavior. If she can show you two weeks of getting in the car seat every time without fussing then you will let her forward face. If she fusses when forward facing tell her you will switch back to rear facing unless she behaves.
Anon says
Except most seats max out RF at 40 lbs so it would be dangerous to keep her RF or threaten to turn her back. I would not do this – car seat decisions are a safety issue, not a reward.
Anon says
Yeah she is 39 lbs and the RF limit is 40 so we have no choice about turning her soon. I also guess I don’t really care if she fusses/cries in the carseat? Like I said, she’s generally ok in the seat but if she cries once in a while while we’re driving it’s not that big a deal. My concern is just being able to get her into it so we can go where we need to go.
Anon. says
I think yes because they are less able to use their feet for leverage against the back of the seat to arch their backs.
Anon says
Thank you, this is what I wanted to hear! She definitely does the arching of the back thing so hopefully FF will make it easier.
Pogo says
You still have to pin their arms – mine can wriggle out of the chest strap and block me, but I can physically hold him down if needed. We turned him around the time I was very pregnant and couldn’t physically get him in anyway, so hard to say how much ‘easier’ it is. It’s still a challenge if they want to be REALLY resistant, but I can do it if I have to.
They can also still swing their feet to the side to block you from shutting the door.
Anon says
They can also submarine down onto the car floor if you’re not quick
Anonymous says
I’d flip her around today.
Blueberries says
I had epic problems at daycare pickup that were solved with food. It turned out my kid was just hangry at that time of day. I ended up bringing part of his dinner, since dinner/bedtime were usually right after getting home.
Anonymous says
Non-parent here. My town’s FB page has turned into a massive debate over school issues. I just had a quick question as a passive bystander to help me understand some of the arguments. At what age is it reasonable to expect a child to be able to independently log into a remote classroom?
The issue has to do w/ the school requiring synchronous learning on remote days and cameras must be on but backgrounds are allowed. They are going to keep the non-independent age group asynchronous since working parents have stated they can’t do their job (even from home) and manage the log-ins. So now the big debate is what should the cutoff age be.
No dog in this fight but I was just curious what’s a fair expectation. There is a strong contingent pushing for 7th grade to be the cutoff but I’m pretty sure my nieces and nephews were using computers independently by 3rd or 4th grade.
Anonymous says
After the first couple of days, a third-grader should easily be able to handle the computer independently unless something goes wrong. They will still need help troubleshooting problems until they are much older.
So Anon says
My 4th grader and 2nd grader can both use a computer, but that his different from being able to login to a particular website/zoom/whatever without parental support. In addition, I do not want my 2nd or 4th grader to have unfettered access to a computer/ipad, so I keep them locked with a password. This means that I must, at a minimum, unlock the computer/ipad. I’m not sure what age it is reasonable, but I can tell you that it is not for my kids who are in 4th and 2nd.
Anonymous says
This is a good point. Access on a school-provided device is different from access on a personal device.
Anonymous says
How? They still are supervised in school. School provided devices are not some magical device that prevents them from accidentally or not accidentally coming across inappropriate things on YouTube.
Anonymous says
School devices are very very locked down and are set up to make it easy to log in. You could do this to some degree with individual profiles on a personal laptop, but not with a tablet.
Anonymous says
Our school Chromebooks are on a VPN that limits internet usage in a way that I can’t with our devices.
Anon says
Don’t all schools tech administrators ban certain sites and apps? Just like corporate tech.
Anonymous says
Our school district says the Chromebooks are locked down but based on the experiences of a few friends – if the upper elementary kids are even remotely tech savvy they can get around stuff pretty easily. Like YouTube is banned but then the teacher shares a you tube video in google classroom and they use that access so somehow get around the other lockout.
Anonymous says
Our kindergartner’s school provided iPad nonetheless allows basically unrestricted YouTube access, so it requires a high degree of supervision even though he knows how to log into his synchronous classes independently. He has pretty good executive functioning skills for kindergarten but still can’t be expected to independently manage time and a schedule, either. And still sometimes needs assistance managing emotions during class when, eg, the teacher neglected to tell them they need xyz item and he doesn’t know how to find it because it’s a household item and not his own school supplies.
Anonymous says
My 4th grader can reliably log in but cannot deal with tech issues if she runs into problems or accidentally does something wrong.
But the larger issue is that remote learning biases for kids that are at their own homes with their parents available for tech support. Plenty of poorer or essential worker families do not have that situation.
The schools is Europe never closed at all for the children of essential workers and generally speaking they have not had school linked outbreak issues. There is no reason that schools cannot reopen for elementary ages with masking.
Anon. says
As a European, I have to say it’s incorrect that schools haven’t contributed to local transmission. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Schools at least follow the general transmission rates in the community.
Also, anecdotally I know several people who got Covid through their kids.
Anonymous says
I didn’t say the schools had a rate that was lower than the community around them. I said that there were not school linked outbreak issues as there were not specific outbreaks tied to schools with a higher rate of transmission that’s found in the community. Kids are not immune but schools are also not superspreaders as long as strategies like masking and cohorting are used.
SC says
I think most 5th graders could be working toward independence with logins etc., with a parent nearby to make sure things are running smoothly. Most 6th graders could be mostly independent with occasional parental support. Most 7th graders could be fully independent unless there were actual technical difficulties (which I understand to be insanely common). Keep in mind, though, that not all kids have the same abilities at the same age. A kid with ADHD would have a harder time with the executive function needed to manage all the logins, websites, uploading homework, etc. If 80% of the kids are doing OK, the remaining 20% is still a lot of kids and parents impacted by the struggles of virtual learning.
From what I’ve read here and elsewhere on the internet, the problem is often timing. Sure, it “only” takes a parent two minutes to log in to a class. But often, that needs to be done 5-7 times a day for each kid. Inevitably, you’re in the middle of an important Zoom meeting or Boss calls just as a kid starts screaming from the other room about a login not working.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Right, and there’s a reason aftercare exists and is needed for kids in elementary school, going up to grade 8 in lots of districts. Teachers may not like the term, but in addition to educators, they are childcare providers. Parents who are home with their elementary school kids have to deal with a lot of distractions all day, even if it’s only a minute or two at a time, and even if the kid can read and log in independently. And it’s not the kids’ fault – it’s not fair to ask a young elementary school kid to entertain themselves for 8 hours!
Anon. says
YES. I’m a former teacher and I just embraced it. It may hurt to say or hear it but in our screwed up society, teachers ARE childcare providers – and the only possibilities for many many families of all different economic levels. I think that truthfully acknowledging this shouldn’t diminish the teaching work, but should reinforce the fact that teachers are critical to our functioning as a society.
Anonymous says
This. I have three kids. Their teachers use a combined 9 different apps for learning. Everyday at least one has an issue. Two minutes isn’t a big deal unless it’s the third time of two minutes during the one phone call with your boss.
Anonymous says
Exactly. I don’t know about you all, but a one/two minute disruption is SO disruptive to me. I need flow to be effective at my work, and it is impossible to achieve with virtual learning kids at home.
Realist says
+100
Anonymous says
I wish I could get my husband to understand this. I work in the bedroom and he insists on using the en suite bathroom, not the hall bathroom that is closer to the home office. And then he wants to talk to me about what he is working on.
Anonymous says
What? Just lock the door. Or say no. He can ? use the other bathroom.
I’d totally reset the router every time he had a video call if he tried to keep that up. See how much he likes being interrupted.
So Anon says
Exactly! It takes only a few minutes to log on, but it happens multiple times a day. And, in my experience, it is rare that it is just logging in. A kid may also need to find their writing notebook, paper and pencil for math, help finding six different things in the house that are four inches long with a ruler (that was fun). It is never a two minute endeavor.
anon says
I have a 2nd grader who largely can handle tech issues at this point, but she absolutely needs redirection to stay engaged in learning. If we don’t pay attention and answer questions about what she’s supposed to be doing and kep her on track, she only engages with about 20% of the content. I don’t think she’s ADHD or anything. She’s just a normal 7 yo.
anon says
For the record, my 2nd grader needs 90% parent support for asynchronous learning but only 10% support for synchronous learning. I think your school district has it backwards. She doesn’t have the executive function yet to look at a list of assignments, read the instructions and complete them fully herself. She does better when a teacher leads her through her day and assignments on synchronous days.
They should sort out the log in issue, which isn’t an issue at all in our district, and offer synchronous as much as possible for younger learners.
avocado says
This is true even for my ninth-grader. With synchronous learning they are using fewer apps and internet resources outside of the main on-line learning platform. If there’s a problem the teacher notices it. With asynchronous learning they are using a zillion different apps and websites, many of which are outdated and incredibly difficult to navigate. She is old enough to deal with her own tech issues, but she has many more of them with the classes that are mostly asynchronous than with the classes where the teacher prefers to be live on Zoom.
Anonymous says
My second grader could *not* do virtual school independently. He is perfectly competent at using a computer, and can troubleshoot common tech issues. I set up shortcuts for google classroom and zoom and he knows how to read directions and click links, the problem is that he will not complete a task or move from one task to the next without an adult helping keep him on track. Virtual school is not interesting or engaging enough for him to want to do it when there are so many distractions at home. I can’t tell you how many times I set him up with some school work and went back to my office only to see him in the back yard 10 minutes later. We paid for private school this year and have been in person since October. It is worth every penny.
CPA Lady says
Reliably able to manage everything and handle basic tech issues by themselves? 7th grade/middle school seems fairly reasonable to me.
Your nieces and nephews being able to use a couple of websites by mid elementary school age is definitely normal, but online school is a whole different beast. The amount of assignments, different log ins, websites, apps, different assignment submission procedures, zoom classrooms, etc. for my Kindergartener in online school is mind boggling.
I had trouble navigating it as an adult some days. She had her main list of assignments which was on a powerpoint that frequently “forgot” who had permission to view it. Multiple emails to the teacher to get permission to view. That was located under her classroom section of the class dojo app which involved several clicks to navigate, and a bunch of scrolling through announcements to get to. There was an additional hard to navigate website called flip grid that some of the music/art/etc classes needed to be submitted through. There were certain youtube videos that she had to watch for different subjects, which made me very nervous, because youtube is a cesspool of weird content. There were class codes, different logins, etc. for everything. Quarterly assessments were done through a separate program that also had its own login. I had to manage all of this because she can’t read yet. A lot of elementary school kids don’t become strong readers until second grade or so.
Complicating everything, NOTHING IS STANDARDIZED. So what works for one kid in one classroom at one school might not be what works for a kid in the next class over.
Through a series of events, my kid has had three different kindergarten teachers since August, and they all do/did things differently. All at the same school!! And different schools in the school district have wildly different procedures and requirements — the rich schools in the fanciest suburbs with a bunch of SAHMs have absurd requirements– a friend of mine who lives there had to make three pounds of applesauce for a kindergarten assignment on two days notice and also make a trail mix with at least 10 ingredients. The poor schools are very aware that a lot of kids dont even have reliable internet access or food at home. Then my kid’s school is somewhere in the middle. It’s bananas. I totally get why they would set an age that seems high to someone looking in.
Anon says
My kindergartener logs in on his own and also navigates to the other programs he needs – and he’d never been on a computer before this year (and barely on a tablet). I do need to be available in case there’s a tech issue or he’s helping finding hard copy materials. I also have to help him manage his independent work during breaks so I’m not totally hands off, but logging in is very simple… maybe it’s more of a motivation issue than a technical issue for people arguing kids need help?
Anon says
Ok, re-reading and if the question is actual logging into the synchronous classroom, I’d say by first grade is reasonable. If the question is managing themselves for the full school day, fifth grade maybe? I agree that synchronous learning is much more hands-off for me as a parent – the teacher is engaging and supervising the student so I don’t usually need to tune in.
Anonymous says
Even with synchronous online learning, I get a lot of emails that “[son] is turning off his video and muting his mic during class and not engaging.” “[son] is playing with the virtual backgrounds on zoom and distracting other students.” “Please remind [son] that eating during class is not acceptable.”
Classroom management is a HUGE part of a teacher’s job, and a lot of that is delegated to parents with online school.
Katala says
I don’t know, I think it really depends on the kid. My kindergartener can log in to most of the apps he needs on his own, and the teacher does engage and guide throughout the day. He can read, so he can figure out what to click on, read his assignments, etc. There are still tech issues. And materials he “can’t find” (the regular stuff all has a home, but he’s 5). And teacher requests for various things in the house, which he may or may not find without requesting help or getting distracted and not going back to his desk. Plus, the general boredom of being by himself staring at a screen for hours a day. His synchronous class also has a lot of breaks, which is great to reduce time spent in front of a screen, but needs parental supervision for several 15-90 minute breaks throughout the day. It’s really only doable with one parent not trying to work full time during the day.
Anon says
Does your district have a log in app? My 7 yo can click on the Clever app and it logs into all the other school apps. It’s pretty easy to use. Logging in is mostly a non issue as long as the VPN is working.
Anonymous says
I appreciate the discussion. I can’t answer questions since I don’t have a kid in the district. I appreciate that the littles might need synchronous more to stay on track. I think parents of the younger kids were advocating for asynchronous so they could do school outside of their working hours. I agree that someone still needs to watch such a young child throughout the day though! Our schools are hybrid and this is all about what happens on remote days. There were complaints that kids were falling through the cracks so to “improve accountability” they are going synchronous with screens on. To me, that only helps identify who is falling through the cracks, not remedy it.
Anonymous says
With “accountability,” they are trying to shame parents into getting their kids to sit in front of their screens at the appointed time.
I don’t want to hear about accountability for parents. I want to hear about accountability for the district leadership that decided they weren’t going to teach this year.
Anonymous says
+1
Anonymous says
Sync works better for some families because it keeps kids occupied if parents are WFH and can help with tech. Asynchronous is much better for parents who are not WFH and are relying on cobbled together care from friends/neighbors/daycare during their working hours because the caregivers may not be able to supervise the school or have internet sufficient for the tech requirements.
Then there are also internet issues. Our service is pretty good but it can only handle a max of three video conferences and 5 VPNs at the same time which means DH and I have to do video conferences on LTE if they happen while the kids have school.
The problem is neither is a good option. Elementary kids need in person school.
Anonymous says
2 tech related questions, please. Thanks in advance!
1) Any recommendations for a learn to read app for my 5 year old in preK? I’m looking for something we can download (happy to pay) onto our iPad ahead of a long car trip. She likes the idea of learning to read, but she isn’t mature enough to put in the work with DH or me (we’ve got various learn to read books at home, and she has no patience for the process, which is fair with her only being 5 and all). We already have Khan Academy Kids and are looking for something different. I don’t care one way or another if she learns to read now, it just seems like an idea for something to pass the time in the car.
2) Can someone tell me how the audiobook apps work? Especially the ones connected to a local library. Any recommendations for audiobooks for a 5 year old girl?
Anon says
We’ve been trying Hooked on Phonics, but I’m not thrilled with it thus far, so I’d love to hear about better options!
Anonymous says
I don’t know about learn to read apps, but my kids really like ABC Mouse. It has phonics and letters as well as counting, matching colors, etc.
If your library uses the Libby app, I’ve found it pretty easy to use. You just select the audiobook filter when searching for books, and then you click right on the book to open it within your device. Audible’s app is also easy to use, but I’ve only used it for purchased books, not library loans (I’m not sure if it supports that). My kids like the audiobooks of Magic Treehouse (Headphones required, though. I can’t stand Mary Pope Osborne’s little kid voice).
Anon says
Reading Eggs is great. Strongly prefer it to Teach Your Monster to read, which is another popular one.
Posting again says
Sorry, posted about Reading Eggs and didn’t answer your second question!
My just turned 6 year old girl has enjoyed Charlotte’s Web, Magic Treehouse books, Roald Dahl, and the Ramona books. I basically just look at whatever’s available from our library.
Apparently there’s a Hank the Cowdog podcast (?) read by Matthew McConaughy – totally finding that for our next trip!
Anonymous says
For a second there I thought you were saying your 6 year old was reading those chapter books and I was really impressed!
octagon says
We have been really happy with Endless Alphabet which then bridges up to Endless Reader. Both are games with silly illustrations where you drag the letters/words to match a sentence as it reads it to you. I’m convinced they helped kiddo greatly with his reading. (We are also big fans of MathTango from the same company, all worth the money.)
Mary Moo Cow says
We have Epic! on the iPad because that’s what my Kindergartener uses at school. I like the “read to me” function, where it’s a combination of audio and highlighting words. However, I haven’t figured out how to limit the scope so she’s not seeing upper elementary books (with content that scares her, not because I want to restrict her to her grade level) or books that aren’t “read to me.” I haven’t researched it because I’m lazy.
Anonymous says
Don’t. Your 5 year old doesn’t need even more screen time to learn to read. Just let her live.
Spirograph says
I generally agree, but the question was specifically about a tablet for a long car trip. I used to argue with my husband that my family went on multi day driving trips at least once a year and I survived without a tablet and the kids can d@mn well look out the window and tick of state license plates, play car bingo, or draw on an etch-a-sketch like I did in the good ol’ days…. but tablets are a REALLY good diversion when I’m tired of hearing “SHE’S TOUCHING MEEEEEE!” “HE’S LOOKING AT MEEEEE.” Audio books and learn to read apps are better than just watching endless Paw Patrol or Frozen. Or at least give options.
OP, if you don’t mind ceding control of the radio, my family (including me and DH!) enjoys listening to the Brains On podcast on long drives. My daughter is in K and she has looooved it for the last couple years.
Pogo says
but how often should I bathe them?
Anon :) says
I think hourly is ideal, but on a busy work day you could maybe push it to just every 3 hours.
Spirograph says
Zing!
anon says
My kids really loved Homer. I can’t tell you how effective it is, but they really loved it.
Anon says
On a recent car trip, my 4 and 7 yos were completely entranced by the book “The One and Only Ivan” which is told from the perspective of a Gorilla.
Mm says
Any recs for treating toddler allergies? Our 14 month old seems to be suffering with runny nose, itchy eyes, etc. We do have a humidifier going at all times. Can also call the ped but would prefer minimal medication.
Pogo says
Children’s zyrtec – that’s what our ped suggested. I wouldn’t try to go without meds if she/he needs it. It was night and day once we got on the zyrtec for my kiddo. Is yours mouth breathing at night/naps? That can be super disruptive to their sleep.
Anon says
I think you should at least check with the ped – mine said allergies almost never show up before age 2 and whenever I thought my kid had allergies it turned out to be an infection (usually just a cold). Both of us have pretty serious seasonal allergies so I expect kiddo to develop them too, but ped said they normally appear between ages 3 and 6. It’s one of those things where it’s the repeated exposure that causes the symptoms, so babies and toddlers haven’t had enough exposure.
Anon says
+1 our ped didn’t think early sniffles/red eyes were seasonal allergies. Dairy intolerance etc. happened early, but according to her seasonal allergies don’t develop until later.
avocado says
We put Blueair filters in every bedroom and our open family room/kitchen and it has been life-changing for the allergy sufferers in our house. We no longer use humidifiers as those seemed to cause more problems than they solved.
Anon says
This is us too. I’m now allergy med free and DH is at a much lower dose. I love blueair!
CCLA says
Interested in these – which line of blueair do you use? Looks like they have three levels
Anon says
I have two of the 211+ ones downstairs (kitchen and breakfast area and then living room, dining room and office), a 411+ in the family room downstairs, and then a 411+ in our bedroom and DD’s bedroom. If we ever get pregnant with kiddo no. 2, the family room one will probably move back to the nursery because the kitchen one can be moved to cover both rooms if we rearrange a few things. The kitchen one is great for cooking smells (I think the + gets you the carbon filter, which really helps with the smell) which DH is really bothered by (probably because his family did not cook growing up and as far as I can tell they ate out all the time or ate microwave frozen tv dinners).
CCLA says
Thx!
Anon says
PSA: In response to Biden’s directive yesterday to vaccinate educators immediately, the pharmacies in the federal retail pharmacy program (CVS, Meijer, Rite-Aid etc) are now supposed to be vaccinating educators (including higher ed) regardless of state eligibility. I work at a university in a state that is doing strictly age-based vaccination with no priority for educators and I know a dozen people who got shots at retail pharmacies today and many more with appointments in the coming days.
Anonymous says
Wow! That’s good to know!
Anon says
i just read on CVS’ website taht this is eligiblity: “teachers K-12, Daycare and preschool workers, and staff.” does not include higher ed (i work in higher ed)
anon says
Our teachers have all been vaccinated. The issue is now that they’re still refusing to teach in person. Kids will be returning to school for two short days a week, but staff supervising my kid while she gets instruction on an iPad while the vaccinated teachers stay home. It’s infuriating.
For the record, 90% of our 65+ population (who registered for a vaccine) has all been vaccinated too, so any grandparents living with teachers should now also be protected. They’ve now started vaccinating younger high risk people.
Anon says
Yeah, I get that this is an issue too. But my kid’s daycare teachers have been full-time in person since August, some of them with babies and young toddlers who can’t wear masks or social distance, and they are getting absolutely no vaccine priority from our state which has decided on a fully reverse age order system. I’m so angry and frustrated on their behalf. I guess the correct thing to do would be vaccinate only those who are teaching in person or who would agree to teach full-time in person post-vax. But I guess that’s logistically complicated.
Anonymous says
Just a rant — my husband’s boss sent out an email to their whole team saying that telework was being abused and that starting next week, everyone should be in the office unless they have a good reason, and that he will be evaluating reasons on a case by case basis. The good reason is the pandemic, right??! It is not over yet. My husband shares an office with one other person and they have been alternating days in so they can have the room to themselves, but now we don’t know whether that’s good enough. So annoyed.
Anonymous says
That’s crazy! Of course the pandemic is a good reason. It’s the whole reason we teleworked in the first place. I feel like this week everyone is just deciding the pandemic is over, but cases are still higher than they were in the summer surge and only a small percent of eligible people have been vaccinated. It’s bonkers!!!
anne-on says
Uh, what?!? Can he name and shame the boss to the higher ups at the company under the guise of ‘confirming the approach to remote work’? This seems like a GREAT way to kick parents (lets be real, mostly moms) out of the workforce OR force employees to disclose sensitive health information in order to justify their work from home set ups. I would be LIVID and looking for another role ASAP.
Eh says
This feels extreme to me. I’m stuck working in the office right now even though I’m pregnant and unvaccinated (getting the vaccine just second tri!) My office has been in person since September. I think it’s a lot more common than you think. I’ve been tempted to out my pregnancy early to get WFH but I’m just sucking it up right now. It’s not ideal, but I love my job and workplace. I wear a mask, others do too…
Not saying we should be in the office. Would totally prefer to be from home. But I do think this board skews pretty privileged to have been able to work remotely. Just reminding that a lot of people haven’t had that choice, and honestly, we’re all just making it work. My job could totally be done remotely but my boss just likes to be able to drop by to check in on projects. He’s also a really nice guy though. The OP’s husband’s boss definitely didn’t phrase this in a nice way though.
Anonymous says
Many states’ guidelines still specify that anyone who can WFH should. If that’s the case in your state, your company should not be asking you to be in the office.
anon says
Yes, I also have been working while pregnant in person at my employer’s insistence for months. It depends where you live if you have the option to work from home or not, and some people on this board seem to forget that many of us do not have that option if we want to keep our jobs.
Anonymous says
It’s definitely a privilege to be able to work from home and I understand many people don’t have that privilege, but I also think it’s incredibly weird for a company to force people back now unless they have “a good reason.” The reason is…the pandemic is still raging!
CCLA says
Agree with this. Why now? The pandemic is a good reason. And like others have posted above, yes it’s a privilege to WFH now, but part of how we control this is that those who can WFH, should.
Anon says
My company tried to push people back into the office last fall with extremely extensive mitigation and testing measures.
We have an internal survey where employees review leadership twice a year. The push to get people back into the office sank approval ratings for leadership from >90% to <50%. Needless to say, they are no longer pushing. We'll see how long leadership is dissuaded, as I do think they want people back.
Anonymous says
We ordered the ones that Wirecutter recommends and were very happy with them
anonamommy says
If you were going to do a Zoom storytime to 3-year-olds, would you try to use Libby or an app to screen-share or try to hold the book up to the camera?
Anon says
When we read to my daughters class we took pictures of each class and did a PowerPoint screen share – much easier than trying to hold the book up to the screen and read at the same time!
Anon says
Screen share – the images will be much clearer and easier for the kids to see. IME when the book is held up, the camera takes some time to adjust and can look blurry/discolored
Anon says
How many of you will be QFH more frequently after the pandemic? I already know that I won’t be returning full time in the office to my employer. It impacted our quality of life too much for I o be worth it any longer. I had stellar reviews at year end and I’m th only employee they’ve allowed to WFH. Is this something I bring up now or when they ask me to come in?
Anon says
I’m not sure I fully understand the question but if you want to be permanently remote I think you bring it up when they ask you to return. To answer your first question, I’m officially not going back, but not very happy about it. I like flexibility to work from home occasionally, but really dislike not having an office to go into. But I have kind of a weird situation with daycare at work so right now I’m basically double commuting. My ideal would probably be me and DH each at our shared workplace 50% of the time. Whoever goes in takes kid to work-based daycare, whoever WFH gets to skip the commute and gets to work in an empty house.
Anon says
Actually I’ll amend this: my ideal would be doing what I described four days a week and having the fifth day be DH and I both in the same place and get to have a lunch date. I promise I don’t hate him! All day every day 7 days a week is just way too much togetherness.
Anonymous says
YES
Anon says
I had one day a week WFH pre-covid (the only one in the office to have that arrangement). Post-vaccine I will start going in one to two days a week while the office is sort of open (only about a third of people are going in now). Once we are all “back for good” I am going to up my WFH arrangement to 2 days a week, maybe 3 and I do not expect it to be an issue (even though 3 years ago when I started that no one would approve 2 because that “seems like too much”). I’ve mentioned it conversationally to people I work with and other people have said they are going to do something similar. I think it has opened a lot of eyes in our office that we can still work well even from home.
In your shoes I would bring up when they ask you to come in.
Anon says
This, almost exactly, for me too. I plan to WFH 3 days a week, and most of my colleagues seem to think the same. Now that we’re hitting the year mark, I’m seeing a lot of people moving backgrounds in their house to whatever will be their permanent WFH location.
I’m curious what this will do for office space. Hoteling doesn’t seem as sanitary, but if everyone on a team is only coming in 40% of the time, you probably can desk share and reduce space by 50%, right?
Anonymous says
I have a one-hour commute each way. Since the pandemic began we have hired a number of out-of-state people to work remotely on a permanent basis, which will make it harder for bosses to argue that it’s preferable for others to be in the office full time. I plan to ask to WFH three days a week and work in the office two days a week. Unless my husband’s company pivots to full-time WFH, in which case I may go back to the office 5 days a week.
Anonymous says
I don’t think hoteling is a huge safety risk even now. There’s over 12 hours in between the two people using the same desk and janitors come in overnight. If you’re really considered you could wipe down high touch areas. That’s definitely my employer’s plan to save money post pandemic.
Anonymous says
Oops meant to be a reply to the person above who said hoteling isn’t sanitary.
Anon says
I plan to WFH 3-5 days per week even once our offices open. I’m sure this is very office-specific, but I don’t plan to ask. If I show my face in the office sometimes, I expect that to be enough. My main boss is already in another city though, and obviously I feel that my work was already fairly flexible. We do have some 100% remote people as well. I just plan to address it if and when someone asks.
Anonymous says
How much do you pay for housecleaning? I have a 4 bed (plus den), 3 bath house. Our old cleaners did a decent job and only charged around $175 per cleaning, but they’re terribly unreliable so we’re breaking up with them. The new service I found charges $230, which seemed fairly reasonable but then I read the list of things they don’t include and it’s really long – taking out the trash, cleaning the microwave and fridge and changing the sheets are all add-ons that you have to pay for. Our old cleaners included all that.
anonamommy says
I’ve found a lot of variation every time I’ve tried to hire new. We currently pay $150 for biweekly cleanings in DMV, 3 BR/2 BA. They change sheets, wipe microwave, take out trash but don’t clean the fridge or the oven unless we request (and pay extra). They also don’t clean our basement office regularly but we can add it as needed (it only needs it quarterly). You may try to negotiate — our current cleaners originally quoted us 180 but when I pointed out that our previous service had been 140, she agreed to do it for 150. I am generous with bonuses and appreciate them. You’ll probably have better luck negotiating on price than on what’s included.
Anon says
I pay $80 cash every two weeks for a 4 bed /2.5 ba house in a LCOL area. She does all the add on you mentioned, except sheeta. It takes her about 3.5ish hours.
Anon says
We just hired new cleaners. I pay $155 per week (they come weekly – I think I was quoted $185 for every two weeks). 4BR, 2.5BA, no pets, about 2000 sq ft without the office (which they do not clean per my request) in a HCOL area. I also added some laundry. They fold the three loads of DD and my clothes (DH handles his own stuff) that I wash over the weekend. Our old cleaners were $120 every two weeks and did not do laundry, but COVID accelerated a breakup because after 4 years they were getting sloppy, often late and my teams weren’t consistent anymore (I like knowing who is in my house – new cleaners are a consistent two woman team absent illness or whatever). The owner is also really responsive, often checks in, wants to make sure I’m satisfied, etc. New cleaners change the sheets if I leave the sheets out and will run the old sheets through the washer and dryer, but sometimes they are not dry by the time they finish so I just fold those later (it’s more of a bonus than an expectation). They take out the trash and I think they clean the microwave. Fridge and oven cleaning is part of a deep clean but not part of the regular service.