When I was pregnant, my favorite pants were a toss-up between maternity skinny jeans and cigarette pants. Now, I would definitely choose these faux leather joggers from maternity favorite Ingrid and Isabel.
These cool joggers feature an under-belly elastic waistband, functional pockets, and (unlike many other faux leather pants) a soft fabric lining. These pants will work with pretty much everything in your fall wardrobe — snuggly sweaters, soft flannels, and even work-friendly button-downs for a edgy office look.
Ingrid and Isabel’s Faux Leather Joggers are $98 at Madewell. They are available in sizes XS–XL.
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Paging Anon with all the Carribean research! says
On Friday an Anon poster had spent a LOT of time thinking about the Carribean. I need you!!
Family of 5, kids will be 4/6/9 when traveling. We are leaving from Boston (can fly out of Bos, PVD, mayyyyybe we’d do LGA or JFK if it saved a day of travel but I’d rather not).
Priorities are minimizing travel time, ideally all inclusive, and a resort where the kids and parents do not share a bedroom. This can be a suite with separation, two adjoining rooms, etc- but I’m not hauling to the Carribean to share a room with my kids! If there is somewhere with a Kids club like place, that would be awesome as long as our kids could go together.
Budget is flexible; I got an unexpected bonus and plan to use some it for this trip. We are not luxury travelers so while I’m okay with the money, I want it to be worth it.
Ha, I think that was me? Love playing travel agent for this group :) I’d start by looking at where you can fly non-stop from BOS since it sounds like that’s a priority and then cross-reference it against an online list of family friendly Caribbean all-inclusives. Most all-inclusive resorts in the Caribbean are in Jamaica and the DR, which are not the nicest islands, but they are easy to reach. There are also some family friendly AI options in Turks and Caicos (Beaches), the Bahamas (Atlantis and others), Antigua and St Lucia, but the latter two islands you most likely can’t fly direct to. There are also non-all inclusive hotels where you can pre-pay for a meal package, if that would be inclusive enough for you. That opens up considerably more options. As far as the room setup you can probably get a suite most places if you spend enough money. I know at Beaches most if not all of the rooms have separate kids bedrooms with bunk beds. They cater to larger families and multi-generational groups. I think that’s why you see Beaches Turks and Caicos recommended so much – it ticks a lot of boxes for many families and Turks and Caicos is beautiful. As far as this trip being “worth it” I’d adjust you thinking a bit – you’re spending the money to go to the beautiful Caribbean in high season and not share a room with your kids – that’s not cheap! You can’t expect great food or a super luxe ambiance at an all-inclusive resort that allows kids.
We have friends who love Round Hill in Jamaica for family trips. Lots of direct flights as an earlier posted said. The resort has suites and villas in addition to regular rooms. It is not all inclusive, though there is a kids club and lots of kid activities.
I have also heard Carlisle Bay in Antigua recommended on the main board, but I have never been. I think that one is all inclusive.
That was not me but I posted last week about needing a vacation that sounds very similar to what you’re requesting. We had a couple endorsements for Beaches Turks and Caicos (all inclusive) here and another place I follow on the web recommended the same multiple times, so we went for it.
We have one kid and are also Boston based. We booked the week of Dec 5 for about $10k for an upgraded suite, separate kids room (bunk beds!), etc. From what I’ve read and have been told, the place is very kid-centric but overall delightful. You might take a look at that! Flights weren’t cheap, but we were able to put them on credit card points, thankfully, which let us push up on the room quality. We take off at 6am out of logan and will be on island by 12:15pm. Hopefully on the beach not later than 2?! They also take care of airport transfers (included). Really don’t have to think about anything which is precisely what I was going for.
You may want to book FastTrak at the Provo airport, especially if you’re arriving on a Saturday. It’s about 30 minutes from the airport to Beaches and I would not count on clearing customs in ~1 hour. It’s really crazy there.
Thanks for the tip! We arrive on a Monday and leave on Sunday. You think we should still do it?
Nah probably not necessary on a Monday in early December.
Faux leather joggers is about the last thing I could imagine myself wearing in pregnancy, but maybe that’s just me.
Digging out after a nearly week-long battle with stomach flu for my oldest… I finally pulled the trigger on some updates to my wardrobe that I’d been waiting to make (thanks to all who suggested searching those “millennial makeover” tiktoks!) and it is giving me some much needed joy. I also finally got on the bandwagon of those triple-barreled curling irons. What can I say… I’ve been influenced.
Anything you guys have bought recently that are making you happy?
Oh that’s a nice treat!
I bought myself a nice dark green raincoat after realising my current coat is no longer waterproof, and it’s very warm and cozy. And whilst I was in Quebec, I’d have an afternoon apple fritter. A bit embarassing when the girl working there said “do you not want to try something else…?” but I decided not to mess with perefection.
Where did you buy the rain coat from? I need a good one.
I’ve love to hear about the upgrades you made! Between babies and fashion changing so much the last few years, I could use a refresh as well…
Same! I also looked a bit askance at leather joggers but who am I to really judge? I can’t figure out what’s in style.
I bought 2 pairs of Levi 501 Crop (different washes, one more casual, one for work) to update my skinny jeans, as well as two chunky cardigans w/ large buttons (one Madewell, one Loft), also slightly cropped. I also got two pairs of the Loft “Pintucked Fluid Taper Pants” to switch up from my ponte pants. I got a few other tops from Madewell that are just more suited to the tucked-in look.
Church-goers, talk to me about kids and church. We are Catholic, and childrens programming doesn’t start till they are 5-6. So kiddos (both 3.75) are with us during the hour time of mass. We leave after communion and we bribe (chocolate if quiet) but we are seeing a lot of resistance. Do we just get a sitter? I am not here for church battles.
No advice, but it is annoying that they don’t have childcare for 3-year olds!
Aunt Jamesina says
I have a very long comment in mod, but not having childcare or children’s activities during Mass is by design in Catholic churches for any non-Catholics who might be wondering!
Catholic here too. I bring a big bag with books, Water Wows, and the magic marker coloring books from the dollar spot at Target. Also pop its. We walk around the back of the church if our three year old gets too disruptive, but he and other kids are just going to make some noise. Solidary-it is hard! Some Sundays are better than others.
NLD in NYC says
+1 Water Wow books (I think there’s a Easter version, too) and pop its. Melissa and Doug also have a Bible Stories Reusable Sticker Pad. You can do do a google/Pinterest search for Busy Bags. Another thought: have them draw about something related to the sermon (the Great Banquet, searching for the lost sheep, etc.) so they can be somewhat engaged in the lesson.
We are also Catholic. We have the most luck with allowing each kid to bring 1-2 toys that don’t make noise, typically it’s a little car/truck. They often ask to bring their lovey as well which we allow.
I also bring books, both faith-related and not, and have a lot of luck with “whisper reading” to them. I feel like in particular if it is a Baby Bible or something, it’s at least getting at the point of church which is to be calm and reflect and think about God. I have a few different books at various levels with bible stories and so I can often find at least one of the readings in the kid’s version, so we’ll stay on that page and talk about it and I can point out what the priest is saying that’s relevant.
As someone here I think here once said, they can be quiet or still but can’t be both. So if I let them play with their toy, they may be moving around (often sitting on the kneeler, which I remember doing as a child) but quiet, or I’m quietly reading/talking to them, and they’ll sit calmly.
I have gotten only positive comments from old ladies about my kids even though objectively they are both super active and always slightly disruptive. I think people are just glad to see kids.
This sounds so stressful for the parents! I would not get anything out of church if I were constantly worrying about my kids’ behavior and trying to keep them engaged.
PS this is a criticism of churches without children’s programming, not of your kids, Pogo!
They did have a children’s liturgy but it ended with the pandemic. Like so many things.
Our 5yo goes to Sunday school, we’ve been bringing our 2,now 3, year old in the sanctuary for the past year. Sometimes I have to walk out but we feel like it’s important to go. Every parent I talk to at our church is going through the same thing, and our pastor has told us how he would sandwich 3 kids between himself and his wife. Our 5yo is totally fine in the sanctuary with coloring so I know our 3yo will get there one day.
I attended LDS church for a while and children are everywhere during the church hour. Coloring books, snacks and other quiet activities are common. It helps that large families and kids in church are the norm so there aren’t any disapproving looks. I’d bring the kids, maybe find some books or coloring books on reverence, and church can just deal. Church attendance is declining so they should be happy to see children
I would find a church with a nursery or children’s church. If there is no nursery, is there a “crying room” where you can take them and hear the sound piped in from the sanctuary?
Oh man, that’s tough. My (Episcopal) church has a nursery that kids stay in until they’re old enough for children’s programming, but we go get our son (2) for communion itself and are gradually working backward for him to stay for the entire eucharist portion of the service. My tactics are basically sitting in the back, having a bag of special quiet church-only toys (a “quiet book” – you can find them on Etsy, Bible-themed water wow book, other picture books, lacing cards, pipe cleaners), and being willing to take him out to walk around frequently. I know some people say sitting up front where the kid can see what’s happening is better bc they’ll be interested in what’s going on, but that is too stressful for me. My kid is interested in about 5 minutes of liturgical action and then he’s noisy again.
Is that typical for Catholic churches? I am Protestant and a robust children’s program was a requirement when I was looking for a church home. My church has birth through 6th grade care available. First Sunday of the month is always “Children’s Sunday” and the kids start off in the sanctuary, but there’s a Children’s Moment before the sermon where all the kids go up to altar, do a quick lesson & prayer, and then troop off to Sunday school before they get too wiggly.
Our church has busy bags near the entrance with quiet activities for children – a little coloring/activity sheet related to the scripture reading for that week with a couple crayons, and small stuffed toys, and a hole-punched cardboard thing to “sew” shoelaces through. We use these on the odd day where there’s no Sunday School… I agree with others, no one ever seems upset if kids are being kids in church. If you have a screaming baby, sure, leave for a few minutes, but otherwise people usually seem happy for the comic relief/next generation on display.
Aunt Jamesina says
Yes, this is by design in Catholic Churches. The idea is that Mass and communion are the whole church body together.
Thank you! I learned something new today.
Also, I’m really glad that my church does things differently… I know the purpose of Sunday School is not babysitting, but it’s a welcome hour of quiet / respite from wrangling my own kids. To be clear — other people’s kids in church don’t bother me, it’s not about the quiet as much as the mental break. :)
Yup, by design. My Catholic church even has it set up so that mass times and Sunday school don’t overlap in such a way that you can just go to mass and send the kid to Sunday school. Definitely decreases the amount of time that any of the family actually goes to mass.
I would get a sitter and maybe check out other parishes that are within drivable distance. One of the other parishes near my house had a children’s mass, though realistically it still probably wouldn’t help a 3 year old. My home parish was awful and the old priest would yell at us for smiling or laughing before mass.
It’s really, really hard, and I commend you for trying. Who is the resistance coming from? The kids, or the other churchgoers? I think this is one of those “the only way out, is through” situations. Sit in the back, or take turns with your partner taking the kids out for a break if needed.
Thanks for this post today. My 4 and 6 year old were exceptionally squiggly at church yesterday! Usually the 4 yo goes to the pre-K class during the whole service, but it was children’s eucharist day so they were in church until communion. No disapproving glances (there were a ton of kids), but my 4yo is a bit of wanderer and so it was stressful.
Aunt Jamesina says
I’m no longer Catholic, but my general understanding is that Catholic Churches don’t do separate children’s activities during Mass because they believe it’s important for children to be a part of Mass (and when your official stance is that birth control isn’t okay, you’d darn well better be cool with having kids at Mass and all the noise that that entails!). This is why many parishes have cry rooms where you can still see and participate while isolating sound, and many also do family masses that might involve different music that’s more engaging for kids and is generally more tolerant of noise and movement.
Are others making comments about your kids, or are you worried about them disrupting? I never minded kids making noise at all. I also think we’ve become less tolerant of kids being bored in this age of tablets, but I remember many hours of sitting in church, counting floor tiles, and doodling on the bulletin and I’m here to tell you I survived!
If your parish doesn’t offer these or other accommodations, is it worth speaking with either families and church leadership about it? A Mass that is welcoming to children might also be more inviting for parishioners with other needs that they worry might be seen as “disruptive” by others.
To your first paragraph, that is my understanding as well – we used to have a children’s mass with a kid’s choir and then a separate liturgy for the kids, but they nixed it with the pandemic when no one took their kids to church for literally over a year. But Catholic churches are never going to have a separate nursery/Sunday school where you send your kids for the entirety of the service, that’s just not their jam.
I come from a super religious Catholic community and I have never heard of anyone getting a sitter so they can go to church. I disagree with other commenters that church nurseries are not done in the RCC – my church growing up had one and AFAIK still does. So either find a church with a nursery, or tough it out, or if church isn’t all that important to you, stop going during these tough toddler years. Or heck, get a sitter if you want to, it’s your life.
This is one of the things I appreciate about Eastern rite Catholic churches (children are actually welcome even if they behave like children; it’s normal and not disruptive for families to tend to their needs during a service).
I can’t believe I’m asking this but my 5 y/o wants Pokémon cards for Christmas and I need a primer. Where do I start?
In my experience, you don’t really need to understand, just buy them. My son never actually played the game with them; he just kind of hoarded them. Honestly you can probably get some used if you have a neighborhood email list where people give stuff away; they have kind of a short window where they are really appealing to kids in early elementary and then they move on.
This is a great idea: thank you! And he’s my pack rat (like me) so he will definitely just hoard them rather than playing the game or whatever. Thanks!
Agreed. My two like to talk about them, and look at them, but no idea how to “play”. We also bought them the binder so they can put them in there so they are not all over the house.
So, we’re a boardgame/ card game family and will actually play the card game with the 7yo – it’s good for entertainment! He has no concept of resource management and will just play whatever card looks most powerful or whichever one he likes most. It cracks me up. Anyway, we got him a couple of decks and a few expansion packs so he can play with friends. Little sis also likes attempting to play the game and also has no concept of strategy, one of us just sits next to her and reads her the cards.
My almost 5 year old is in her second year of a mixed age (3-5 year old) classroom at our play-based university daycare. They’re doing the same curriculum they did last year, learning to recognize all the letters through a letter of the week. My kid appears to be pretty average academically, not gifted or anything, but she learned her letters when they did this last year and is now complaining quite to us a bit about being bored at school. My instinct is to (gently) tell her to s*ck it up but I wanted a gut check? They spend at most 30-60 minutes on academics per day, it’s not like she’s being made to fill out worksheets all day. Since she spends most of the day reading, playing pretend, running around outside and doing arts and crafts, I feel like being slightly bored at group time when they do the letter of the week is not that big a deal. But I’m wondering what others think. Should I be talking to the teachers and asking them to work with her more on letter sounds and sounding out words? Although I don’t think being slightly bored for part of the day is a big deal, I do kind of wish they were doing more letter sounds and reading prep with the kids who are 4+ (although thankfully kindergartners in our school district are not expected to be reading at the start of the year). Doing anything academic at home is not happening. I have zero interest and I don’t think my kid would react well to being taught by me.
One good area to work on is lower case letters. Can she print all of her lowercase letters properly? They are the most used letters, but are often learned after upper case. I might see if the school could focus on lower case letters with her.
I do think it’s reasonable feedback to ask the school to mix things up from last year. The year shouldn’t be a 100% repeat.
yes, i’d focus more on the idea that they shouldn’t be repeating the precise curriculum again.
Can you find out how long they are doing the actual academics? If it really is only 30-60min (which seems similar to what our play based preK did) I would suck it up. Actual kinder here is like 90% academics, so it was a huge switch for my son, and he misses all the playtime!
Oh no, poor little Pogo. Ours is maybe 30% academics and I’ll be honest, I’d like a bit more.
I mean to be clear, it’s still only 6 hrs of the day that is “school” (Rest is extended day which is all play), and then of course they do have recess, specials, etc. But he’s an active kid and I think all the sitting is what’s tough for him.
I mean, we’re in month 2 of kindergarten here and that’s what they’re doing and my kid is incredibly bored (kids are not expected to read until 1st here) (she also attended a part-time play based preschool last year but apparently picked up the (limited) academics quickly). As another example, they also practice number recognition for 1-10 and my kid is counting to 100 in the backseat of my car for fun. Will be a point of discussion with the teacher at our first conference on whether there are ways to build enrichment in for her. Part of it is my kid is objectively super smart and part of it is that a lot of kids in my area were not at schools due to covid risk and are further behind than one would typically expect, so there is a lot of disparity among where kids are in the classroom.
Definitely talk to the teacher about differentiation ! Ours entered kindergarten reading, and while the formal curriculum was indeed focused on letter sounds and very basic number skills there were always plenty of ways to differentiate.
Can you talk with the teacher about how much formal instruction there actually is? 30-60 min a day seems a lot for pre K. Is that actually when your kid is bored, or bored at other times? I know ours has one part of circle time each day where they talk about an object and what letter it starts with, and try to make rhymes, but that is the only sit down formal instruction time.
I would move her to a different school, mostly because 5-year-olds and 3-year-olds have such different needs that a mixed-age classroom will be really hard on the older kids in the group. I agree that lots of play and arts and crafts are best at that age, but she will get more out of doing those activities with kids her own age.
This is actually the reason we left our university-based daycare. With our older kid (who was in the middle of his class, age-wise), we figured out that the 5-year-olds weren’t having a great experience and were acting much younger than their age because they were spending all day with 3- and 4-year-olds. Our second kid was going to be one of the older kids in her class, due to having a September birthday, so we opted to send her to a different daycare that had smaller age groupings. It was a bummer to leave an otherwise great center, but I feel like she had a better experience as a 5-year-old in daycare than our older kid did.
There is no other option. Every fulltime care option here has waiting lists of at least a year and she is an extroverted only child so part time preschool + nanny would not be a good fit for her, even if we could afford it, which we really can’t. And she is thriving at the school in general. She has a nice circle of friends in her grade level, most of whom are her age or older (fall birthdays and a red-shirted summer birthday). She spends the majority of her day playing with these kids. We have also maintained friendships with several friends from last year who went to K this year and have seen those kids for play dates and birthday parties, so its not like she doesn’t have a chance to play with older kids. She would be devastated if we pulled her out of this school. It seems like it’s really just an issue with the letter curriculum, which is a tiny part of the day.
Yeah, I say just ignore it. If you want, use it as a learning experience about how sometimes she will be bored because she already knows something her classmates don’t, and sometimes it will be her who doesn’t know something and her classmates will be bored. And explain that it’s okay, and normal, and will happen a lot as she goes through school. It sounds like a great place! Our preschool does zero academic work (not even learning letters) and it has not negatively impacted my kids.
Yeah, agree with this. My older kid spent 2 years in the big kid preK room and she was bored at times but she had close friends, little sis was down the hall, it was convenient and we knew most of the families. No way were we moving her that last year before K just so she could learn more academics. She’s in K now and thriving (still bored at times, but knows how to manage that). Sounds like you have a great preschool situation going!
I am in such a breakfast rut for myself. I want something relatively healthy and easy to prepare. I usually do some kind of toast but am finding nothing really appeals to me. Is there some kind of overnight oats I should be making? Other ideas? What are you all feeding yourselves for breakfast?
I like egg in a hole when I want something that’s almost as easy as toast, but a bit more filling and nutritious. Another quick option I like is yogurt with berries, almonds or granola, and chia seeds. I sometimes do bagels with good smoked salmon as well.
NLD in NYC says
Do you like eggs? Baked egg casserole is my go-to. Toss in cheese, veggies and/or meat of your choice, bake at 350 for about 25 mins and you have breakfast for a few days. I also make a big batch of oatmeal for the week, want to experiment with adding pumpkin puree for the fall.
English muffin toasted with peanut butter or english muffin toasted with butter and a sliced plum or pear. Always with a glass of milk. Sometimes I swap the buttered english muffin for an everything bagel but that’s like twice the size so definitely a treat on a rough morning (I keep the bagels in the freezer so they stay fresh).
Similar, I do a frozen waffle + pb every morning.
Vicky Austin says
Right now I’m doing hard-boiled eggs + fruit. Healthy, portable, easy. I snick the little salt/pepper packets from restaurants and stash them in my purse to sprinkle on right before eating.
Vicky Austin says
Also, if you want to refresh your toast game: https://alldaychic.com/21-creative-breakfast-toasts-that-are-boosting-your-energy-levels/
I do regular rolled oats with berries, toasted almonds, and honey. Sometimes I add whipped cream. I call it an oatmeal sundae.
Pita chips and tzatziki dip – I like having the yogurt but want it in savory form!
Currently on a green juice kick but other popular meals are: avocado toast with an egg on it, yogurt/berries/sprinkling of granola, easy egg sandwich (egg/English muffin/cheese/salt and pepper), or chia seed pudding.
Chia seed pudding was a mashed banana + milk of choice mixed with chia seeds and cinnamon. A nice alternative to overnight oats.
Actually, I don’t like the texture of overnight oats so I have what I somehow recall being called an ‘Aveda’ smoothie: oats soaked in plant milk overnight and blended with a banana to a super smooth consistency. I add cinnamon and cardamom.
Baked oatmeal! There are a million recipes on pinterest, pumpkin and apple cinnamon are really delicious right now. You can bake it up quickly on the weekend, then cut a slice, warm up in the microwave, and I like to drizzle with cream. So good!
I rotate between 3 things – high-protein yogurt like Siggis, a box of oatmeal cups (bob’s red mill) and frozen breakfast sandwiches from costco – specifically the bacon and gouda Sbux dupes.
When I have brain power I love to bake a casserole or egg bites as other mentioned.
I’m a savory-breakfast person and mostly-pescetarian. Some ideas:
– Toasted English muffin with a fried egg, cream cheese and a dollop of chilli crisp
– Toast with cream cheese, cucumbers and smoked salmon
– Last night’s leftover rice microwaved with an egg (plus dash of soy sauce or furikake or some kimchi or gochujang – there’s really no recipe to it)
I keep peeled hardboiled eggs on hand, and if I’m really in a rush I just grab one of those. But plain yogurt with berries (fresh or frozen) and some kind of seeds/nuts/wheat germ on top is my favorite.
If I’m in the mood for hot breakfast: Toast with a fried egg and cheese, avocado toast, scrambled eggs on spinach, or a breakfast burrito (taco-sized tortilla, cheese, salsa, and scrambled egg)
Egg tortilla – 1-2 eggs either scrambled or just cracked in the pan, put a corn tortilla or other tortilla on top right in the pan (I’m using a high fiber tortilla these days), then fold in half and eat with salsa, or avocado, or arugula, or whatever!
I’m really into toast with peanut butter and bananas these days. I eat it on Dave’s killer bread and it keeps me full for my 1.5hr train/subway/walk commute and until around 11am/lunch.
When I have time to actually cook vs reheating I love multigrain toast, goat cheese, sunny side up egg, and some hot sauce.
Otherwise grab and go is peanut butter baked oatmeal or half bagel with peanut butter. The combo of the fat, protein and grain keeps me full.
Some favorites (when I’m not finishing off the last of my kids’ soggy cereal or leftover toast):
– English muffin topped with cottage cheese, honey and strawberry slices
– meusli or granola on yogurt with fruit and honey
-smoothies (i add oatmeal and nuts for bulk)
– avocado toast
-fried egg with avocado and hot sauce on a corn tortilla
– oatmeal- make a big batch at the beginning of the week and reheat as needed. Sweet (berries, honey, cinnamon) or savory (egg, soy sauce, scallions, sesame oil.)
– when i have no time, I just eat abowl of cereal with fruit.
– my food on the go is just a PB &J with a banana.
Vicky Austin says
Has anyone bought maternity clothes from Seraphine? According to their size chart and my measurements I’m a US 2, but as I’m a US 10 in most US brands, I find that hard to believe. Should I trust the measuring tape?
Yes! Love their dresses. I think they are a little large to US sizes. For example, I’m usually an 8 though I’m definitely a 10/12 now even without the bump. Their size 8 dresses fit me well and plenty of room for the bump to grow.
I wear my pre-pregnancy size in Seraphine, which is I think what they suggest. I was on the cusp between an 8/10 pre pregnancy and find the 8 is right for me. I’ve worn a bunch of stuff by them (I use Rent the Runway) and never have to size down the way you are describing.
I loved Seraphine! I wore my normal pre-pregnancy size.
I’m normally a 00 and I ordered Seraphine maternity size 2 and they fit great.
I actually didn’t think it was true to my prepregnancy size. I bought a dress in a size 4 and had to return it. I think a size 6 would’ve worked for me (out of stock in that size so I cannot confirm). My prepregnancy size is a 4, but I grew a lot this pregnancy (belly, ribcage, etc) and still have three months to go.
Size 2 vs 10 is a huge difference though! I would get at least two diff sizes and then do a return, even though that’s annoying.
Vicky Austin says
Thanks gang! I think I’ll try an 8 and a 10 and hope for the best.
flats advice! says
Since Covid I wear only flats. I now have 3 pairs of Rothy’s which I love! Any leather flats people like that are similarly comfortable?
Following. I just ordered some Birdies and am curious to see how they fit.
Following but in the meantime, obligatory Rothy’s code.
I don’t have any Rothy’s so I can’t compare the comfort level, but I find Margaux leather flats very comfortable.
Aunt Jamesina says
Madewell Frances loafers are super comfortable for me and my semi-wide feet.
We had about 10 days of my 3-YO being really sweet and cooperative, and my husband and I were like “ahh, he’s turned the corner and everything’s good now!” but this weekend he was back to being cranky, upset by everything, really bad with transitions, etc. We went to a birthday party and the aquarium, so maybe it was too much stimulation when he needed rest. He also bit me when we were leaving the party, for the first time ever. Any advice, or is this just how 3-4 goes?
I would turn down all birthday parties and reduce the number of excursions to crowded, noisy places.
Agree. One of my kids was a legit disaster after such outings. It sucked to stay at home all the time, but it was better than dealing with the aftermath (most of the time).
Yes pretty normal for a 3 year old.
age 3.25-4 was really really rough for us. so much worse than 2, that DH and I were constantly saying, we wish our twins could be 2 again. at 4 it is better than 3, but we still have more physical reactions to stuff than we did at 2. at 2 it was maybe more crying, but now there is more hitting, throwing of stuff, etc., and it is something we are working on…
Same. My 3 year old was in an absolutely delightful stage, and then my parents showed up, and he became a screaming, crying, tantrumming monster again….ugh. Also, feel like I am totally failing at validating the feelings, but not the behavior when his twin sister said to him that “only babies cry” and that he should “stop being such a baby.” Ugh. Of course they only remember what we don’t want them to remember!!
Mrs. Jones says
Normal IME. 4.5 was where a switch finally flipped.
+1 to the back half of 4 being better, although we do still have occasional outbursts. But I will say my kid has always been sooooo crazy behavior-wise around her birthday and half-birthday and I read in a parenting book (Spirited Child I think?) that there’s actually some science behind that. So just a warning that 4.5 on the dot might not be so great but it should get better soon.
I make a lot of baked oatmeal. My kids wolf down a pumpkin baked oatmeal with raisins on top, and I also make one with berries. My strategy is to bake over the weekend, put the whole pan in the fridge, and then microwave individual servings as needed during the week. They’re fine on their own, but especially good with a bit of plain yogurt and some maple syrup. It’s a nice break from toast etc.
I do this, too. Unfortunately, my kids aren’t huge fans, but it’s done wonders for my breakfast options! I have either a hardboiled egg or cottage cheese on the side, and it’s actually very filling.
Social Anxiety in Kids? says
What is the line between shy and social anxiety that needs intervening? We’re pretty chill parents TBH, but this has been tugging at my “Mom Gut” lately.
4.5 year old DD is a nut, if you ask me. Huge personality, fearlessly climbs/jumps/gets hurt/does it all over again. Of her three similarly aged cousins, she’s the “wild woman.” She’s funny, dynamic, smart, clever, all the stuff. She’s also like this around a small-ish group (6?) of peers she sees weekly with her nanny during the day 1-2x/week.
At school (and this is her second year at the same school, same teacher/routines, 50% same students this year as last in a class of 12) she is shy – like, she doesn’t even seem like she’s my kid. The reports we hear are that she will sit in circle time but not participate, or if she does, she barely does. She’s conscientious, has gone to “help” a kid who is having a bad day, or help a friend clean up, so she is empathetic, which is great. But the interpersonal is exceptionally timid.
We’ve been to a few bday parties (at familiar locations) for her school friends and she won’t play with other kids. Not even playing along side – at the last one DH told me that all the kids were at one corner of the trampoline park and DD was at the other for an extended period of time. At soccer, now 4 weeks in, she barely participates. Loves to kick the ball with me, but won’t go be with her team unless mom or dad are within like 10 feet of her, and even then she may not participate at all (but LOVES playing at home!).
This all may be very typical of 4.5 year old behavior, but it definitely has had me second guessing my gut more than ever, especially after observing the soccer behavior this past weekend. It’s like she has two personalities. I know that family familiarity is different, so clearly she has strong comfort with us and cousins, but school? I feel like that should be old news by now.
Anyone have any thoughts? Is this some sort of social anxiety we should be considerate of and deliberate about or is this all just normal stuff?
i do think a lot of kids have ‘different’ personalities at school vs at home, but i would ask the pediatrician and the preschool teacher if this is something they’ve heard/observed with other kids and if there is anything to be concerned about. have you every scheduled 1:1 playdates? how does she do in those situations?
This sounds EXACTLY like my 4.5yo. Super chatty and engaged with us and with his two BFFs at school. But totally clams up in unfamiliar (or even semi-familiar) settings/groups. This weekend I took him apple-picking with his sister and three kids he knows a little from school and he was monosyllabic and clung to my hand the whole time. Same experience when I’ve taken him to other places where he doesn’t have one of his super-close friends. I don’t know; I think it’s normal. We try not to pressure him, and I have noticed that sometimes if he sits with me for awhile, he’ll eventually feel comfortable going to play with the other kids.
startup lawyer says
My same age kid is pretty social and plays well with friends at school and strangers on the playground, but she gets weird at birthday parties. We are actually banning her beloved grandparents from her next birthday party because last year she just wanted to sit on their lap and ignore her friends. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, particularly because we’re only a month into the school year and she’s still adjusting to a new mix of people.
(And to clarify, her grandparents are local and she sees them all the time – this would be totally understandable if grandparents were just in town for a short time!)
That’s interesting. Mom Guilt also has me suspicious some of this is because we’re present (at least at soccer and birthday parties), and just wants to be with us. She’s an only and wonder if some of this is because mom and dad work and she’s with her nanny when not at school. Ugh.
She has her first school field trip this week (apple picking!) which she has done before at this exact farm a few times. From what I can tell, a handful of parents are going – one kid (who is also on her soccer team) has BOTH parents going… how?!? We opted not to in order to let her have some non-parental time, maybe force her to adapt. Now I’m all torn up about whether she’ll be the shy nervous kid and only one without a parent? Clearly spiraling a bit here. So much for being the chill parent. I may call school this week to check in on some of this, esp ahead of the field trip sans parent.
I know it’s hard but you shouldn’t feel guilty! It’s good for her to have other adults in her life that love her, and long-term she is going to be without you at school all day regardless of whether or not you work. I was trying to reassure you that this is pretty normal, not give you a guilt trip! But yes I do think your presence there is probably a factor. I would let her go on the field trip alone, unless the school implies you’re going to be the only parents not present. My 4.5 year old just started a drop-off activity for the first time and is participating sooo much better than she did in the activities when we were allowed/required to stay and watch. Preferring parents to strangers is totally normal at this age.
It’s hard! If it makes you feel better my 4.5 who will also NOT play at soccer at all. He’ll kick the ball a few times when we get there early, but won’t participate at all. He even has a daycare friend there. He also cried and clung to me for the first half of a field trip last year at 3.5 — and that was with his classmates and teachers, not strangers. With our friend/”cousins” he has a ball and socializes plenty. He is frequently cranky about leaving the house or trying new things, until we are there and he starts having fun. I think some of this may be related to COVID/not trying many new things during their 2-4yo range, but who knows. And, FWIW, little sister is much more outgoing and I don’t think I parent her much differently. Anyways, it seems normal to me!
someone posted the other week about a missing teen in their community. any updates? i’ve been thinking of the family.
So Anon says
That was me. Unfortunately, it was not a good outcome. The teen was found deceased with no evidence of foul play or that the teen died of his own actions. Essentially, it seems like he went for a walk and didn’t come home. The community is completely devastated and heartbroken. We are doing all we can to support the family and each other. My middle schooler was told at school; I told my elementary schooler that night and they discussed it at school the next day. I can truly say that those conversations were some of the hardest I have ever had with my children. Big kids ask big questions – questions that are on my mind and to which there are no answers. So so hard.
hugs to that family and your entire community